Relation
by Azucuache
Summary: How can an ordinary life of an ordinary colony kid turn upside down within a few hours? Rated M for violence, cursing...you can imagine.
1. Insignificant, more or less

Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect.

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It was supposed to be a day as any other. People were doing their typical chores, their jobs, simply leading their ordinary – although considerably dull – everyday lives. The colony of Mindoir in the Attican Traverse was neither the largest, nor the richest of all human colonies. The title of the most beautiful colony was stolen by Eden Prime, and it was Terra Nova which was the most populated, but people of Mindoir loved this place nonetheless. It was fresh, full of excitement and people were close to each other.

_Which means, _Maya thought grimly, _that everybody knows everything about everybody, hooray._ She was watching the trees swaying in the soft breeze outside the window, completely ignoring the biology lesson. She was chewing on her lower lip thoughtfully, eyes half-closed. Her tired mind was able to process only so much information, and the Turian anatomy was simply too complex at the moment. But once the bell would announce the end of the lesson, it would magically wake up, ready to collect all the information it could.

Besides, why would she ever need to know anything about Turians? Or any other alien for that matter? It wasn't like she could meet any member of other species on Mindoir; just as Maya's mother always used to say: small enough to be defeated in a single raid, but insignificant enough for anyone to actually bother. Insignificant place indeed. Absolutely no industrial area, only one primary school and one secondary school, small military base and a spaceport. Nothing else was worth the mention, according to Maya. Large farms, which made Mindoir famous, meant nothing to her. It was a way of earning money, a living of her parents and one day - her own as well. Earth, Citadel, Elysium, Eden Prime, Omega, Illium…these were just empty words for her. Her entire world was Mindoir and her future – farming.

Partly, she was okay with it. She was reconciled with this fact, but part of her would always protest against the idea. There were moments when she felt her destiny was elsewhere. However, it was enough for her to simply look around to know that notion was a folly. It had been difficult for her parents to let one child go, letting the other would be…impossible.

John Shepard, lieutenant of the Alliance Navy, exceptional and courageous, though a little bit ruthless, soldier. He was an avatar of the famous phrase: make the humanity proud!

And moreover, he was a biotic. That had been a free ticket off Mindoir and straight to Jump Zero, a station somewhere in Sol system. Though the Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training was definitely not to his liking, and he made sure his parents knew how much exactly he hated it there. Two years ago the program had been shut down due to some "accident", but John never returned.

The rescue came in a form of the bell ringing loudly through the entire building; the lesson was over and she could finally go home. As if in a dream, Maya took her school bag and flung it over one shoulder, leaving the room together with her classmates.

"So…do you have any notes?" Tobias asked when they were walking down the wide corridor, straight to the exit.

"Nope," she shook her head. "I wasn't paying attention at all. Why Turians? Why don't they tell us something useful? Like how to grow the best corn ever?"

"No notes? Too bad," he shrugged. "Another failed test, then."

"What test?" Maya's head snapped to the blond friend by her side. "I haven't heard anything about any test," she protested, as if by denying she could make the prospective test disappear.

"Well, maybe because you weren't paying attention at all?" Tobias offered and smirked after his friend groaned loudly and used her hands to comb her hair. His eyes were captured by this motion and drawn to the incredibly red colour of the girl's hair. The talk was, although Tobias thought it sounded stupid, since the colour was unnaturally bright red, it was the residue effect of the element zero her mother had been exposed to more than twenty years ago. Her first child, a boy, had been affected by this as well, being born a biotic. But as far as Tobias knew, Maya was just an ordinary girl, with no superpowers or ability to move things with her mind. All she had was the hair. But he didn't mind, he liked redheads.

And this one was his favourite.

"I hate tests. I hate biology. I hate school!" she grunted and took a deep breath. She forced herself to smile at her friend. "Bah, there's plenty of time 'till the next lesson. Let's not worry about it. Today…is a special day," she bit her lip and her smile changed into more mysterious, like she knew something her friend didn't.

And that made Tobias nervous. "Eh…what are you up to, May?"

She gave him a look. "Just because I accidentally set neighbour's speeder on fire, doesn't mean…"

"Come on," he cut her off, wrapping his arm around her to bring her closer to him. Their shoulders and hips bumped together and he tried to suppress the feeling spreading through his own body; he couldn't help but simply love Maya's presence. "We both know it wasn't all that _accidental."_

The redhead bit her lip and gave a half-shrug. "Well…okay, maybe it _wasn't_, but I didn't aim for the speeder. Anyway I still don't have my omnitool back," she informed her friend and than frowned. "What was it I wanted to say?" she hesitated. "Oh, yes! The ship!" she remembered and disentangled herself from her friend's embrace.

Tobias let his arm fall to his side soundlessly. "What ship?" he asked, already afraid of the answer.

"Well…" she started slowly and laughed shortly, "I've talked to Jane and her brother's returning from his military training today. There is a ship coming from Earth, today!" she almost squeaked, clasping her hands in enthusiasm.

Tobias looked away from Maya so that she wouldn't see his face. It was a mixture of sadness and disappointment. "May, it's…it's been two years. Do you really think…"

"Stop it!" Maya said sharply, using her right hand to cut through the air. "Now you sound like my mother."

The couple left the building and crossed the park in front of their school. Tobias lived on the other side of the colony, but Mayat's house was already at their sight.

It wasn't a house per se. It was a container divided into several sections, rooms. If you could afford it, you could have several of these containers connected into one, making the living space larger. Maya's family had two; one on top of the other connected by an outside steel stairway. Upstairs they had bedrooms and a bathroom. Their living room and kitchen was downstairs.

Tobias hummed something vague, and exhaled slowly. Maya was incredibly headstrong person. And naïve. He loved it, but sometimes it wasn't very good for her. No one believed her brother would ever show up on Mindoir. He had a career in a military now. What was such a backwater colony to him?

Maya, more than slightly annoyed by her friend's response, sighed. "See you tomorrow," she said without any trace of a smile and headed towards her parent's house. What could he know? John was a family. And…even thought she was just six when he was sent to Jump Zero, she remembered how fond he was of her, and protective. She was his little sister. She simply refused to believe he would take against his family like that. There had to be a reason – a sensible reason – why he hadn't returned before. He could have been on some highly important mission.

"Mom! I'm home!" she yelled after the door slid closed behind her, throwing her bag at the bar stool. She looked around and quickly found out she was alone here. She wanted to check the other container, but then she noticed something on a coffee table. A datapad with a note. She picked it up and bit her lip while reading:

_Honey, I've gone to help dad on our farm. Should be home before nightfall, but you know how things are this time of a year. Busy. Dinner's in the fridge. Love you._

With a sigh she deleted the message and turned the device off. Casually she tossed it at the sofa and put her hands on her hips. She looked around, unsure what to do. She could try to ask few friends to give her their notes from the biology lesson. Or she could surf the extranet. That sounded more like it. Or she could go to the spaceport to meet Jane and together wait for the ship.

She cocked her head slightly to one side and grimaced sadly. What if all of them were right? And John would be never coming home again? Was she ready for another disappointment?

How many times had she been there, waiting, hoping, only to end up staring at the leaving ship after soldiers left it, feeling empty? She had been just a little girl when John was at Jump Zero and her parents never let her read John's messages, but she still could read the emotions in their faces. She couldn't understand. It wasn't their fault John had gone there, nor hers. Why would he be angry with them?

Slowly she pushed all the thoughts aside, frowning. "No," she whispered. "He was only busy. Today he might arrive," she said, hoping that if she said it out loud it would make the knot in her stomach vanish. It was still there, however, when she turned on her heel and headed outside the house.

In quick steps she walked down the dusty path alongside the line of other houses, deliberately choosing this path rather than the main road that crossed the entire colony. This was longer route, but there was a lesser chance of meeting anyone with stupid questions.

But that meant walking by the military base. It wasn't large facility. The barracks could accommodate maximum of approximately thirty soldiers, which was pitiful; such number couldn't hold against the weakest of enemy for long. Definitely not until the help would arrive. But…the colony was insignificant enough for anyone to actually bother to attack it, wasn't it?

The gate to the base was, as usually, closed, so that people couldn't freely walk inside. There was a soldier stationed in front of it, guarding it. He wore light dark armour and Maya knew it was a standard Alliance light armour, dark blue and black with the Alliance emblem on his left sleeve, and was armed with a pistol fastened to his hip and a assault rifle he was now holding in his hands. Maya could see his eyes were on her. She smiled at him and he, for a second, as if afraid someone might see him, returned the gesture.

_Hm...hot soldiers, a reason why to join the Alliance. Hey! That should be on the poster,_ she thought when she made her way towards the soldier. "Hey, Sean," she greeted him. "On duty again?" she smiled brightly at him.

Sean shrugged. "You know how things are. Better then what others are getting inside, though," he tossed his head to the base.

"A drill?" Maya asked and suddenly wanted to be inside the base to see them train. She had always pictured how it could look like from all the vids she'd watched. A perfectly synchronized unit led by an experienced commander who knew his men through and through, making their way through the training ground, overcoming all the obstacles and taking down every single enemy in their path with an agonizing precision, easily reaching their goal.

Of course, she knew her images were far too romantic and idealistic. The reality had to be much harder and more difficult. The training – or any mission for that matter – scarcely went smoothly; there was always a chance of something going wrong. The demands placed on soldier who were undertaking only the basic military training were getting stricter every year, and it was common many decided to quit before completing it due to great physical and psychological stress.

On the other hand, Mindoir wasn't Elysium. There was no need for highly trained professionals. Maya even doubted this military base had what it took for a proper training. The Alliance didn't consider this colony important enough to send it more money for that use.

"If you can call it a drill," Sean said in low voice, confirming the girl's thoughts. "But yeah, standing here all day is still much better. Anyway, why are you here?" he asked and paid her a searching look.

She shook her head and lifted her right arm for him to see. "Don't worry. Still no omnitool," she reassured him.

Sean smirked and shook his head in amusement. "Serves you right for causing troubles."

She rolled her eyes, tired of being upbraided by everyone. "It was an acci..." she started saying, but something high up in the sky drew her attention instead. Several dark shapes of space shuttles pierced through the white clouds and were now heading towards the colony. "...dent," she finished and shook her head, letting the ships slip from her mind.

Sean brought his eyebrows together and made a move to turn around to see what had fascinated the girl so much, but at the moment his in-helmet communicator crackled.

...

Being a soldier on Mindoir was a great job. The salary was quite good, the weather was nice and the countryside was breathtaking. There wasn't much of a duty either. This colony was a perfect example of how people earned their place among the other species in the galaxy. Though they were still a new-comers in the eyes of other races, they managed to found several colonies, make them profitable, beautiful and self-sufficient. And on top of that all, such a small colony like Mindoir was an incredibly safe place.

Alan was sitting on the ground, his back resting against the steel wall of a container behind him. His head was leaning back, touching the wall as well, but his helmet prevented him from feeling the cold. His eyes were closed. He was listening to the soft music coming from the inside. He had his knees drawn up to his chest and his left foot was tapping the ground to the rhythm, a content expression on his face.

This job was the best job ever. Mindoir weather was always warm, always sunny – _maybe except for today_, Alan thought – and serving here was like a never-ending vacation. People respected you, because you were here to offer them a protection they actually didn't need, grateful the Alliance was stationing soldiers here. It made them feel more significant than they really were.

It was an irony. He'd been previously serving on Terra Nova, proud to be part of the Alliance forces protecting one of the greatest human colonies. Then the transfer came, ordering him to Mindoir. It angered him, he didn't want to set a foot on such an insignificant backwater place, but in the end it turned out to be his best assignment ever.

A sound of incoming ships disturbed Alan from his thoughts. Reluctantly he opened his eyes and with en exasperated sigh stood up, taking his assault rifle he'd laid on the ground next to him in his hands. He stepped away from the container and with his head up started searching the sky. There was a ship expected to land today, but when he found several dark spots quickly coming his way, he immediately knew something was wrong. SSV Einstein wasn't, as far as he knew, supposed to come with an escort. He approached the container and leaned with his elbows against the window, glancing inside.

On the other side of the little room, next to a large TV set, was a comfortable corner sofa with a sleeping and snoring soldier sprawled across it. His left hand was hanging off its edge and under it was the newest issue of Fornax, lying on the floor. The soldier's helmet on the coffee table obscured the view for Alan, so he couldn't see the sensual curves of a scantily clad Asari body.

"CJ!" Alan shouted and then chuckled after the soldier winced and his eyes snapped open. He sprung into sitting position, unintentionally knocking his helmet off the coffee table in the process. Alan didn't give the confused soldier time to collect himself. "We have several ships coming. I don't think they are on the list, so check them out. I'll contact the base," he instructed him and retreated from the window. Putting his hand to the side of his own helmet Alan activated the integrated communicator.

...

Sean frowned in surprise, not really sure why was anyone contacting him. He definitely wasn't expecting to hear the voice he did. _"Sean? It's Alan. Say, man, do we expect other ships safe for Einstein?" _The question took Sean aback a little. Finally Sean turned around as well, lifting his head up and Maya's eyes moved upwards as well, focusing on the growing shapes. Hesitantly he shook his head as if the soldier on the other side of the call could see him. "Negative. Have you contacted them? Why are they here?"

"_CJ's working on it,"_ Alan said and there was a short pause. Another voice could be heard in the background, but it sounded so far away it was impossible to make out any words. _"They...they shut off the communication channel."_

Instinctively Maya made a step back. She felt as if a hand grasped her stomach tightly while she was watching the ships. It was difficult to tell, but they didn't seem to be slowing down as they should while approaching a spaceport. A thought crossed her mind, that the ships weren't coming to the colony, but there was nothing else they could actually head to.

"Shit," Sean muttered under his breath. He didn't have to be exactly an N7 operative to know something was amiss. "Alan, open the channel again and tell them unless they identify themselves we'll bring them down."

_"But we don't have..." _all at once the communication was over.

Although she couldn't hear the other voice, Sean's response only tightened the hand around her stomach. "Is...is something wrong?" Maya asked in a shaky voice, her eyes on the sky. The ships were just seconds from their position. She was only barely aware of the soldier trying to set up a new connection helplessly via his omnitool. When he couldn't manage, with a muttered: "Disruptors," he turned around to the console to open the gate.

The explosion was deafening. Several well aimed rockets simultaneously launched hit the defenceless base in one moment, tearing the concrete and steel and making it burst like it was nothing but a mere paper box. Large pieces of the structure were scattered around as the shock wave spread from the epicentre of the explosion, completing the work of destruction and demolishing what was left from the not-so-large main building.

Maya couldn't breathe. Her chest was aching terribly and she felt as if she lost all the feelings from her legs. Even without Sean's heavy, armoured body pinning her to the dirty ground it was difficult to suck in the air. Her lungs suffering from the stinging pain after breathing in the wave of the burning air simply refused to inhale more of the dusty hot air and smoke. A pair of strong hands was protecting her head, covering her ears, but she could still hear another explosion. The sound was quieter, seemingly coming from afar, but the shaking ground beneath her and the hot wave forcing its way down her windpipe again until she started coughing indicated the blast was much closer.

The pressure on her head was gone suddenly, so was the weight pressing her down. Before she could actually look around someone was pulling her up. The heat from the ablaze base was hurting her eyes, making them water, when Sean grasped both her cheeks into his gloved hands and made her look at him. His dark eyes were shining from his face covered in dust. From his hairline trickles of sweat were running down his cheeks. His lips were moving, but all Maya could hear were the loud ringing and sounds painfully resembling gunfire from somewhere very, very far away.

Her eyes, blinking both tears and the pain away, focused on his lips. The first word was obvious, it was her name. Shepard. But she was unable to get the rest. She started shaking her head. "I can't hear you!" she screamed, her throat felt dry.

She wasn't sure if he could hear her or not. His helmet might have protected his ears. Anyway, he shook his head and looked around, searching for the assault rifle he'd dropped when he knocked the girl down in order to protect both of them from the explosion.

"We need to get to the school. There's a bunker in the cellars and a communicator! We have to send out a distress signal!" he was telling her, as if she could hear him. With the Lancer Assault Rifle in his hands again, he checked its condition. Everything seemed alright, so he turned to the girl and motioned with the rifle to the direction he wanted her to go. However she didn't move and her eyes grew wide in terror. She let out a short, high-pitched shriek when he felt a dull hit on his back and he saw the blue shadow of his kinetic barriers activate, ricocheting the bullets off.

...

Maya watched in horror as two figures emerged from behind one of the living containers. It took them just a second for one of them to aim his assault rifle at the soldier with his back to them. The first burst seemed to simply bounce off the soldier protected by the kinetic barriers of his armour. Sean turned around, lifting his own rifle. It managed to bark shortly, before it was silenced by the second aggressor. A pain shot down Maya's leg and she crumbled to the ground after a bullet from the shotgun managed to find her thigh. The rest of the burst finally penetrated Sean's weakened barrier and sunk deep into the soldier's body. The corpse fell to the ground, immediately turning it red.

Unable to scream, to move to do anything, she was staring at the body right in front of her, at the bloody mash that mere seconds ago used to be a man's chest. With fear spreading through every fibre of her body, she lifted her eyes to the two humanoids above her. Batarians. She couldn't hear them, for the ringing in her ears seemed to grow even louder, but they seemed to be arguing. Her eyes slid down from their ugly, four-eyed faces to the barrel of the rifle aimed right between her eyes. She was as good as dead, she knew, but something inside her, the purely animal drive to survive, made her move nonetheless.

When the Batarians noticed the motion, it was already too late. With Sean's omnitool safely in her hand, she clenched her teeth and closed her eyes, flexing her arm out, using the device's energy to send forward a bright blue round. It exploded right between her and the two Batarians, the sharp light coming even through her closed eyelids. She couldn't hear anything, she had no way of knowing if it impulse managed to overheat their weapons, but she wasn't dead yet, it had to mean something. Preparing herself for worse, she flexed out her arm a second time, her body already moving the other direction in a despairing attempt to escape the explosion. But not even the adrenalin flowing through her veins could prevent her from feeling the pain.

There was the light, orange and red, and then she felt the heat crawling up her right arm, licking her bared skin, clawing at it until the pain was almost too much to bear. It became the very centre of her whole being, she could not think of anything else than the burning feeling in her arm. She felt the need to cradle the arm to her body, but when she touched it and felt how slick and sticky it was her clouded mind wanted to get rid of the useless limb, of the source of her suffering.

_What are you doing? Do you want to die here? You don't know how many of them are there! Others might come! You have to get up!, _a weak voice in her head whispered. Together with the faint sounds of the gunfire it was slowing returning her to the reality. _Come on! Get a grip and get up!_

Her muscles ached when she tried to sit up slowly. They were protesting as she hoisted herself on her left elbow carefully, and then pushed, her arm shaking under her, until she was sitting.

She opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was the dark smudge on her trousers. _You need medigel! Search Sean! Soldiers always have something on them,_ the rational part of her mind advised her. Crawling closer to the body, with only one healthy arm and leg, took her what seem like an eternity. Hot tears were streaming down her cheeks, sobs escaping her lips and every time her body shook a new bolt of pain shot from the injured thigh. Finally she found a medigel paste snapped to the dead soldier's side, right above the holster of a standard alliance gun. She put the tube to her mouth, holding it in place with her teeth while her left hand was trying to open it. The precious matter stained her shirt after she finally got rid of the lid. Quickly she applied it into the wound, her mind demanding almost the whole tube of it.

She still needed a bandage to stop the bleeding, but the medigel itself was enough to, at least partially, help and ease the pain.

_Great! Now arm yourself!_ She looked at the gun and reached out to get it, but then her eyes spotted the omnitool on the ground and went for it instead. She had no knowledge of how to shot from a gun, but she could defend herself with the omnitool. It wasn't a secret military issued omnitools could do much more than send a few impulses. They could focus the energy to create a combat drone. _And in a case any of those bastards would get near to you, military omnitools have the omniblade!_, the clever voice reminded her.

With the omnitool safely in her hand she tried to stand up. The pain was still there, she couldn't walk quickly, but at least she could move. Whimpering each time she stepped on the hurt leg she begun limping away from the base. Thought she had no idea where to go. The gunfire seemed to be coming from every direction, the fires illuminating the small colony almost omnipresent.

_Safety first!_, the voice ordered and her left arm obeyed. The omnitool raised a hologram around her forearm. The world was rocking from side to side in unison with her limping pace while she was searching for a way to create the drone. She was well past the first houses when she finally figured it out, and a soft smile crossed her lips when a shiny violet orb appeared in front of her out of thin air.

For a second it was floating at her eye level, than it seemed to turn around and head forward. Its scans were quicker to find the threat than Maya's blurred mind or deaf ears. The Batarians never knew what hit them when the sphere surprised them while dragging helpless, unconscious humans away from their houses. They let go of the weights to reach for their weapons, but it was too late. The drone's precisely-aimed bursts never gave a chance to them, or their kinetic barriers, stripping them down before Batarians even managed to pull the trigger.

"Behind you!" Maya caught herself screaming and her arm flew in the air to point to the other direction than the drone was facing; a group of three Batarians were hurrying to help their fallen comrades. The drone didn't need her warning though; it was aware of the incoming threat and quickly turned around. It made a quick calculation. Maya's voice only drew the attention to herself and two of the three had already flexed their muscles to turn towards her. A simple burst of bullets wouldn't be enough to take the two of them down fast enough. Instead of several red flashes a single brightly blue beam left the drone's energetic body, hitting weapons the three were holding, causing them to overheat for a limited – and rather very short – period.

By the time Maya had, of course, realized what she did was a great stupidity. The drone's action, however, gave her the precious time to flick her arm towards the attackers, sending another blue bolt to finish their weapon's destruction. Moreover, the blue kinetic barriers around the three blinked for a few seconds that cost them their lives. Thought it wasn't the drone whose quick, short bursts turned the skins and flesh of the aliens into mushy mix of blood, insides and bones.

A crouched Alliance soldier was hurrying to her side even before the bodies had the time to hit the floor. "Alan!" Maya screamed in relief when the soldier got near enough for her to see his face under the helmet.

...

It seemed like a miracle for Alan to actually find someone alive. Thought the sight of the girl wasn't pleasant, she'd been shot to leg and her arm was severely burnt, her condition was still better than what he'd seen in his search so far. The beasts were merciless and ruthless. They were kidnapping people, and who somehow wasn't to their liking was killed on the spot.

"Come! We've gathered the survivors in the bunker!" he said to her and grasped her healthy elbow, knowing the girl's shocked condition wouldn't let her to move on her own. But when she made first few steps and he saw the way her hurt leg didn't allow her a quicker pace than a hobble, he quickly changed his mind.

He pushed the button on his rifle and it quickly collapsed in his hands into an easily portable piece of metal. He quickly snapped it to the side and grasped the girl under her knees, crouching slightly to throw her inelegantly over his shoulder. Ignoring her sharp yelp of pain he steadied her with his left arm, making sure she wouldn't fall while drawing his gun from its holster with the right hand. He'd cleared the way from the school, but it was just a matter of time before Batarians would show there again. If he was quick enough, he would make it there without much of a problem, at least not of a kind a gun couldn't handle. With the drone following hot on his heels, he quickly started zigzagging between the containers.

...

When Alan finally eased her on the cold floor it was an end of an agony for her. With his every step the pain from her leg and mostly from her arm was blinding her and she had to fight to stay conscious. Even now when she was sitting, unmoving, with her back against a wall, she was that close to begging for more medigel to finally kill the pain. _You can't get more of it. It would send you straight into coma,_ the voice spoke up again.

The room she was in was small and smelled funny. It was cold as well and it took her a moment to notice the only entrance was from above. There was a trapdoor in the ceiling. She didn't have more time to inspect where she was as somebody crouched to her side.

"Tobias..." she whispered and traced the sweaty face of her best friend with her fingertips, while not letting go of the omnitool in her palm. He quickly took her hand in his and paid her a bright smile. There was a blood on his teeth. She wanted to ask what happened to him, but she wouldn't hear him anyway.

At the moment, Tobias started talking to her, thought his face was now turned to her injured leg. There was a cloth in his hand and he quickly started wrapping it around. The more he was talking, the more troubled the expression on his face was.

Maya was smiling despite the pain and waiting patiently, until he was done with the bandage, using the time to look around. They had to be in some kind of a bunker. There was a terminal nearby, its screen flashing frantically. And, to Maya's greatest terror, with herself and Tobias only eighteen people were here, and almost all of them injured. Ten of them kids, generally younger than ten years. They were crying, or had been, their eyes red and puffy.

She felt cold fingers on her cheek. Tobias put a strand of her hair behind her ear. He was talking to her and smiling softly. She shook her head. "I can't hear you," she said. "Too close to the explosion," she wanted to add, but something else drew her – and everyone else's – attention to the trapdoor. Alan's head appeared in it and he shouted something. Although she couldn't hear the words, somehow she knew what he was saying. _If we are to survive, they need to close the door. And they're staying outside, they want to defend us until their last breath,_ the voice whispered darkly.

One of the survivors quickly run up the steps to the door and closed it. Maya had to bite hard on her tongue to stay silent while watching him locking it. _It's their duty. There's still a chance the attackers could get through the locked door, so they _have to_ try to fight them of until the help arrives._

The light, informing about the state of the door, changed its colour from green – unlocked – to red – locked.

_And now we have to wait,_ the voice went on, _and hope it will be the Alliance that opens the door next. _Maya closed her eyes and tightened her hand around the omnitool, wishing that her biggest concern was still just a stupid biology test.

...

It was supposed to an evening as any other. As usually, after a long day filled with hard work, John allowed himself to let off some steam in his favourite club, _The seventh heaven. _Together with the rest of his unit he was enjoying what entertainment the good old Earth had to offer; drinking, dancing, thought girls were just for his men. Not that he didn't like them, but he had Katy.

But tonight something was simply...wrong. As much as he wanted to get rid of the feeling, he felt restless and nervous. Instead of dancing his feet off on the dance floor with Katy, he was sitting in the comfortable seat, playing with an empty glass, watching his girlfriend frolic merrily on her own.

Slowly, in thoughts, he brought the glass to his lips, but when no liquid touched his lips, he blinked and looked at it. With a sigh he stood up and went to the bar to order another. He liked to order his drinks himself, rather than asking a waitress. The music in the club was loud and the bar was the only place where you could actually hear anything without a need to shout yourself hoarse.

While he was waiting for his drink a TV above the bar drew his attention. His eyes grew wide and he didn't even realize he was watching the screen with his mouth hanging open. Suddenly, he sprung to his feet, his drink forgotten. As quickly as he could he made his way through the suddenly insufferably crowded club. But not even the fresh air outside could clear his head when he activated his omnitool and accessed the extranet. Quickly, with his fingers shaking, he logged into his mailbox. He watched the progress bar with unusual anxiety, the reporter's voice ringing in his ears.

_"...hours ago the human colony on Mindoir was attacked by an unknown group of Batarian slavers..."_

"Come on..." he hissed, as if it could make the bar slid from the left to the right any faster.

_"...leaving the colony completely destroyed..."_

Finally, the bar disappeared and he got the access to his messages. He had ten new messages.

_"...several survivors. The Alliance has decided against publishing the list of their names, stating that all bereaved families have been informed about their relative's fates..."_

But only one of them held any significance to him. His heart almost stopped when he opened it and his eyes scanned the text quickly, his brain accepting only the searched information: _"...Alayne Shepard...missing...Thomas Shepard...found dead…Maya Shepard...alive…"_

* * *

To be continued... Thank you all for reading and if you feel like it, let me know what you think about it. Oh, and sorry for the mistakes, not a native speaker here. I'm trying my best though._  
_


	2. Alive

Disclaimer: I don't own ME, Bioware does.

* * *

_"...Alayne Shepard...missing...Thomas Shepard...found dead…Maya Shepard...alive…"_

Again and again his eyes kept on reading the message. His heartbeat dropped to normal again, but his head was spinning, and John was sure it was not the alcohol's fault.

Ten years. He hadn't seen them for ten years, and he spent most of the time blaming them. They could have said something. They could have denied. They could have hidden him. They could have done _anything! _Instead, in grave silence they had helped him pack his things, waved him goodbye and let them take him away, to the brain camp.

He could still see them, standing in front that wannabe house, looking at him with what was supposed to probably be a brave face, watching him walking away._ "Missing…found dead…"_ His father had been holding his mother around her shoulders, protectively, reassuringly, compassionately…_"Missing…found dead…"_

He was always wondering. Was it indifference or just an attempt to make him stronger that made them so stoic? If the latter, they failed. He missed them. He missed the freedom, the sun, and grass under his bare feet. The warm summer air and the chilling winter mornings. For a very long time he missed it all, but eventually all his memories and desires turned sour, and he sent them his first spiteful message. Were they just as emotionless while reading it?

_"Missing…found dead…"_

"John? Love, is everything okay?"

At the sound, he let his arm fell to his side, the hologram projected by the omnitool in his hand gone.

He hadn't meant it, not really. Not somewhere deep inside. But when he realized it, he was too of a coward to come back and apologize when he still had the chance. And now there was no chance. There would never be again.

He felt a hand snake gingerly around his abdomen and a soft touch on his right shoulder as she rested her chin on it, tilting her face up to look at him.

But there had been another person. Small, with ablaze hair and big green eyes, with freckles over her nose and cheeks. There were tears streaming down those cheeks that day. His little sister. He couldn't remember seeing her cry that way before, not even when she'd skinned her knees, or broken her arm, or twisted her ankle. She had been always so brave, always fighting her tears, so that she wouldn't look weak in her big brother's eyes, he knew. But his last memory of her was while she was begging her unresponsive parents to stop them.

_"…alive…"_

"John…" she whispered again and he could smell the sweet scent of the drink she'd been drinking all evening. "You're pale…what…wait a sec, I have a protein bar here somewh…" He swiftly caught her retreating hand. "I'm not hungry," he assured her and finally turned sideways to see her.

Katherine, Katy as he liked to call her, was almost as tall as him. She had a round face with slanting eyes as dark as night. Her long hair, now bound in a firm ponytail, was straight and black, and it was, together with her eyes, hinting at her eastern heritage.

"Then what is it?" she asked and cocked her head to one side, as she always did while solving a problem.

At first he shook his head. His problems were just his problems, she didn't need to be dragged in them. But she'd found out anyway, there was no need to keep it from her. He smiled at her and touched her cheek with his fingertips. "How about going home? It's already quite late and we probably…need to talk about…well…"

He watched her eyes grew wide slightly at his response. "Talk? Now you scare me," she said weakly, but tried to smile nonetheless.

"Don't worry, it's…just…wait here, I'll go back to pay for our bill, and soon we'll be on our way." Leaning forward he placed a tender kiss on her lips, making her close her eyes in pleasure. They opened however, when the touch was gone, and with a frown she watched him disappear inside the club again. Shifting her weight she began chewing her lower lip, a gesture of her nervousness.

Discussions beginning with "we need to talk" were never a good sign. Casting a worried look towards the half-empty street, as if the whole talk was its fault, she sighed and tried as hard as she could to remember something she might have done or said, that could have upset him.

Was it because she'd been dancing so much with Jereth? But he'd told her to enjoy herself, that he wasn't feeling well and…okay. Maybe that was it. If she was feeling unwell and told him to go and do whatever he wanted, she would be upset if he actually obeyed and didn't stay with her to make her company.

_No,_ now she was chewing her inner cheek, _John's not like this. When he says something, he means it. _He'd been behaving strangely all evening, so maybe the matter, whatever it was, happened much earlier.

A dark shadow crossed her face, making her turn her back towards the club in case he'd suddenly come out. What if someone had seen her? No, that wasn't possible. She was always so careful. Besides, if he had somehow found out, he wouldn't have asked her to the club. She knew him. She knew he was far too loyal to the Alliance and its laws to turn a blind eye to it.

"So are you ready?" His voice startled her, but when she winced, she immediately made herself laugh warmly. "Hey, you can't sneak up on me like that. You startled me." She expected him to smile, but his face remained unchanged and that made her own smile froze on her lips. "Wow, that must be some topic we're going to talk about," she added, and suddenly felt a stab of fear in her stomach.

In slow pace they began walking down the street. There were still a lot of people, most of them happily drunk, but the pavement wasn't crowded like it usually was during a day.

"I…don't know where to start," John admitted and took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers. He knew that his parent's death would have serious implications for his and Maya's life. For a second all he could think about was what exactly it would mean for him and Katy. He didn't know Maya anymore. What if she was a troublemaker who'd turn their lives into hell within a fortnight? However the short journey inside the club and back outside was enough for him to realize one thing – Maya was the victim here. She'd been probably still at school when the attack came - if she had been home with her parents she would have died as well - but it still had to be a dreadful experience for her. "There…has been a raid," he said eventually. It seemed like the easiest way to start.

"A…raid?" Katy repeated and took a sharp breath. "What? Where? Are they…are they going to send you out?"

"No, no…nothing of the sort," he hurried with a reply to calm her down. "It's already dealt with. It…was Mindoir."

There was a short pause. "Weren't you born on Mindoir?" Katy whispered and looked at her lover with wide eyes. "Oh, John…how…how is your family? Do you know?"

He nodded slowly. "Mother is missing and they've found my father's body."

Again she sucked in the air sharply and covered her mouth with her hand. "John, I'm so sorry. I…I don't know what to say. Now I understand why you were so upset all evening," she went on in apologetic tone as if she had been holding his mood against him.

Though his mood was another thing that worried John. Why had he been so miserable? Was it some kind of a premonition? Was it only a coincidence? It had to be, biotic or not, that wasn't not how it worked.

Being a biotic meant you could create a mass effect field using the element zero in body tissues. A certain race – a mono-sexual species known as Asari – could develop such abilities naturally. Other races could have biotics of their own as well; however the mentioned specimen had to be somehow exposed to eezo, like it had happened in John's mother case.

"May survived though," he added.

That seemed to take Katherine aback. "May? Who is May?"

John frowned and touched the back of his neck. "I haven't told you about her? She's my little sister."

Katherine gave him a look which was answer enough: no, apparently he had never mentioned her. "You have a sister?" she asked, confirming what he'd already figured from her eyes. "Well…yeah, I…do. And with our parent's dead…" he let the rest hang in the air.

"Our flat is small!" she protested and the outburst made John think she was strictly against the idea. "There's no way another person can fit in. We don't even have a spare room, or a bed for her. Or a space for her things," she reminded him in softer tone.

But to be completely honest, John wasn't exactly thrilled either. He didn't even know how to be a brother again after so long.

...

Tobias was sitting on the edge of a bed, his hand covering hers, gingerly caressing her knuckles with his thumb. His expression was a sad one, his mood was dark. He was an orphan, practically homeless at the moment, heading to a world he barely knew and only through stories and the extranet.

His eyes were scanning her face. It was calm and as close as it could get to a peaceful, considering the situation. Though she was probably oblivious to it now.

His hand squeezed hers a little bit more. He frowned and closed his eyes for a moment. This was probably the last time they were together. In a matter of few hours they were to land on Earth and they would most likely get separated. He'd lost everything, his life was simply gone, just like that, because…because…he didn't really know why. One second everything had been fine, the other his world was turned upside down. And now he was about to lose the last light of his life as well.

He loved Maya. He loved her with all his heart and simply couldn't imagine being without her. She'd never been interested in him, he knew it. He recognized the glances she'd been sending towards that stupid marine back on Mindoir, though Sean always seemed only amused by that child's infatuation. Anyway, he knew he never had a chance with her, she was made for better than him, but he at least wanted to be with her. He loved it whenever she embraced him, whenever she combed his hair or touched him. He loved the way her lips turned into a smile and her eyes narrowed in the cutest mischievous look ever.

Her hand moved slightly in his palm. Tobias frowned when he noticed that her eyes had started moving under her closed eyelids. She wasn't supposed to dream.

_"Why did you do it?"_

_ A tall brunet straightened and casually tossed an empty injector to the bin. "Do what?" she asked with a smile._

_ "She asked you for sedatives to help her sleep and you…gave them to her," Tobias said and his hands made a questioning gesture, his palms up._

_ The doctor nodded, understanding. "She was obviously tired. Bleeding from such a wound can be exhausting. Sleep combined with the medigel will get your friend better. Don't get me wrong," she added immediately. "The leg will take time to heal, a few days at least. But…" she licked her lips and her brown eyes wandered away from his face, searching her surroundings as if she was looking for the right words to say. "What you've been through…" she said quietly. Tobias expected her to add something else, but then she only shook her head._

_ "What's going to happen to us now?" Tobias finally asked the question that was burning on his tongue all the time since they'd been found by the Alliance. _

_ "I don't know," the doctor answered frankly. She sighed and touched her cheek lightly. "Tobias, am I right?" The boy nodded. "I must check on the other children again, but could you stay with her? The sedatives I gave her should grant her a dreamless sleep, but just because they should doesn't always mean they will. Besides, with biotics you never know," she shrugged._

_She managed to make three steps towards the exit before Tobias processed her last words. "She's not a biotic," he protested._

_ The doctor stopped and whirled around. "She is," she stood her ground. "I've detected a certain level of element zero in her body."_

_ "Her mother's been exposed to it. But that was more than…twenty years ago. Her brother is a biotic, but she's not."_

_ "Maybe she just hasn't pursued to develop her abilities?" she asked him with slightly raised eyebrows as if it was the most obvious thing in the whole universe. "Though that would explain why she doesn't have any implants. Anyway, if she starts having a dream, a nightmare I mean, wake her up. She's been through a hell and doesn't need to relive it. I should be back shortly."_

_ "I'll keep an eye on her," Tobias promised._

_ "I thought you might," the doctor answered with a strange smile, as if she wanted to imply something. With that, she left the infirmary. Unlike Maya, the children were mostly unharmed. Since the primary school was right next to the secondary school, they were brought to the bunker immediately after the first explosion. Some of them had minor bruises, scratches…nothing serious. Their true wounds were much deeper, though, and would take much longer time to heal…_

_...  
_

_There were screams and a fire kissing the sky. Columns of smoke were rising towards the clouds, mingling with them in their black and white game. A great source of bright light behind her made her shadow come alive. It was monstrous, huge with long arms and legs. Its head was round and two pairs of eyes were shining from the dark face with a terrifying black light. She wanted to scream, to run away, but her leg crumpled under her and she fell. Her voice was hoarse, her throat sore and she could scarcely breathe. Suddenly a burst of light blinded her and she lifted her hand to shield her eyes from it. And when it faded away she saw them; two corpses lying at her feet, one headless, and the other with bloody mush with specks of skull for a face. The scent of burnt flesh filled her nostrils. A sharp pain from her leg beneath her was dulling her senses. _

Maya's heart was pounding loudly in her ears when her eyes snapped open. She felt drops of cold sweat on her forehead. She lifted her hand to wipe it off. When she looked at her right arm a vague thought that something wasn't right started tugging at a corner of her mind.

_Burnt. It should be burnt,_ she realized.

"Are…are you alright?"

She looked to the left and was amazed to see Tobias sitting on her bed. She hadn't noticed him until now.

"You were having a nightmare so I woke you up," he smiled at her, but it lacked any merriness. She wanted to say something, but she had no idea what it should be. Tobias didn't seem to need her answer though. "You were sleeping almost all the journey, we're three hours from Earth," Tobias added and only when he squeezed her hand she realized his touch. "Earth," she finally repeated. "I was hoping it was a dream," she added. "I wanted to…sleep, hoping once I wake up I'd be in my bed in my bedroom. Or in our living room fast asleep after searching the extranet for anything about Turian anatomy…"

The pain written all over the girl's face was almost too much for Tobias. As if all his problems were meaningless now, while she was suffering. "May…" he said quietly, but felt silent again. He had no idea what to say to stop the tears in her eyes from brimming over.

She shook her head and used both of her hands to comb her hair. A sob escaped her lips when she closed her eyes. It seemed to Tobias like she was still trying to deny everything. She begun sitting up, but a pain in her leg stopped her and her hands instinctively moved to press the wound, making her hiss some more. She clenched her teeth and, frowning, looked at her friend. "I want to get out," she growled, the tears still shining in her green eyes.

"Er…out?"

"Of this bed. Of this room. I just…want to…" she let the rest hang in the air. She knew what she wanted, but she'd never have it again. Mindoir was gone. Her parents were gone. But she was alive.

"O-of course, let me help you." He took her arm and carefully slid it around his shoulders as he helped her off the bed. She was leaning against him for support when they made first few steps. They were half-way to the door when it suddenly slid open with its typical swoosh sound and revealed two women standing in the doorframe. One of them was the young doctor. The other had a dark blue alliance uniform with several gold stripes on her shoulders. She was shorter than the doctor, but her hair was the same dark brown colour. Her eyes were kind, but she had the air of respect and authority around her, and Maya suddenly wanted to shove Tobias away, to show that she could stand on her own.

The doctor's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "What are you doing? Stop it! Put her back on the bed, now!'"

"I'm fine," Maya protested while Tobias was backing to the bed obediently, murmuring an apology while his eyes were on the other woman. She walked slowly inside the room, her hands behind her back casually. He turned his attention back at his friend however when she hissed silently. "You okay?" he whispered when he reluctantly let her go. She nodded.

The doctor made a move to rush over Maya, but the woman in dress blue uniform stopped her, laying a hand on her shoulder. "She's fine," she said quietly and the doctor, after a second of hesitation, nodded. Then she beckoned to Tobias to follow her out of the room. Maya watched her friend leaving with a mix of fear and worry, and was very close to shouting at him not to go.

The woman calmly crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed right next to the girl. "Do you know who I am?" she asked with a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Captain of this ship," she said. "I've seen a lot of vids to know the uniform."

The Captain smiled. "Yes, I am. You may call me Hannah, if you want. Do you have any idea why I came?"

The girl looked at her from the corner of her eye. "I haven't lost my memory, if that's what you're asking...eh...ma'am," she added and made an unsure face.

Hannah nodded. "I've spoken to Corporal Kranog and Jackson."

"Alan and CJ are alive?!" Maya gasped. "You saved them!"

"No, you saved them," she opposed her. "Your drone, to be more specific." Something in her tone sent chills down Maya's spine. "It requires both certain skills and a special omnitool – or at least the right illegal application - to create a combat drone, you know…"

"I didn't steal it!" she started defending herself. "Sean was already dead and it was my only chance to kill the two Batarians!"

"Maya, calm down," Hannah said slowly and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm not accusing you of anything. We, of course, know the owner of the omnitool, and we found his body, thorn to pieces by a shotgun. I assume the bullets in his body would be similar to the projectile Julie put out of your leg."

Maya hung her head and closed her eyes. "He wanted to protect me," she said quietly. "They took us by surprise."

"No one's blaming you for his death. Corporal Kranog has already described the attack to be very quick. They were probably aware of my ship coming and intended to make it fast," Hannah said carefully.

Maya nodded. "They blew up the base first. They knew exactly where it was," she started saying.

"The attack was well-planned indeed."

"They sent two of them to finish what was left of the garrison."

"And you killed them," she helped Maya over the difficult part.

"I...killed them," Maya nodded, determined to see the steel floor, not the dead bodies. "Then I walked inside the colony and Alan found me."

"I know," Hannah nodded and gave the girl a searching look. Her head was bent down so Hannah lifted her hand and put few strands of her hair behind her ear to get a better view of her face. "Where did you learn how to…handle the omnitool this way?" she asked. "A plasma sphere and a combat drone…that's not a common knowledge."

"Extranet," Maya whispered sheepishly. "I…am good at it. I mean…I was always interested in numerous ways omnitool could be used and…" she shrugged. "I know I was breaking the law by downloading those apps, but…"

"It was illegal, yes. The curiosity sometimes gets the better of us all however. And in your case it helped you survive. And I must say, Maya, that in my book you're a very brave and strong young woman. Not many would react so cool-headedly," Hannah said quietly and paid the girl a soft smile.

Maya slowly shook her head. "I...just wanted to survive, ma'am. I couldn't think of any other way and…I was just terrified. "

"Can you keep a secret?" Hannah asked and leaned closer to her as if the two of them were long-time friends. "When I was just a rookie, and served in the First Contact War, I was afraid too. And I'll never forget my first kill. Turian's blood is blue and they are as different from us as they can be, but they are living, breathing creatures. They have feelings, emotions, dreams. Just like us. They wanted to protect what was theirs. Just like us. And I killed him...or her," Hannah shrugged, "With them it's difficult to tell."

"But…I…didn't feel anything, when I killed them. It was them or me and...I desperately wanted to live," Maya whispered. "But I...was dreaming about them. I...saw what was left of them after the...the...plasma sphere exploded in front of them."

"In any armed conflict it sooner or later becomes just a fight for survival," Hannah tried to reassure her and put a hand on her shoulder. "In a beginning, you walk to the armoury to get your weapon and your gear, you head is full of ideals of how much you want to make humanity proud. You are the chosen one. You fight for Earth and everyone back home. But eventually, you fight to save your own skin. It always comes to it, no matter what they say. It's you, or them."

Maya turned her head towards the woman. Her features were soft and there were no wrinkles around her eyes or mouth. She looked younger than someone who'd been serving in the First Contact War should. She had to be in her late thirties or even forties for all Maya knew. "Why are you telling me all this?" she whispered.

"The pain from losing so much is enough. You don't have to torment yourself for being a coward as well, especially when you weren't," she explained and took Maya's hand in hers. And when Hannah pulled away and stood up, Maya felt she'd left something in her palm. Tentatively she turned her hand around in a slow motion and looked at the small device. Sean's omnitool.

"Captain!" she called after the woman who was almost at the door. "I don't understand..." She reached out with her hand, showing the omnitool in her palm.

"I thought you'd want your omnitool back. Maybe one day you'll need it again."

* * *

Thanks for reading everyone. And don't by shy, hit the review button, I don't bite :)


	3. Green and blue

Disclaimer: No, I don't own ME.

* * *

John thought he had already forgot what it meant to be nervous.

He'd been nervous that day when he left Mindoir. He was in the shuttle and together with other kids collected along the way they were approaching Jump Zero. As the station was getting bigger and bigger his stomach was making one somersault at a time. And later, whenever he was supposed to use his biotic powers, he felt quite a similar feeling; he was nervous what kind of payback his body would demand. A nosebleed, a severe headache, crippling cramps... all thanks to a mistake in L2 implants.

Thankfully, not long ago a new configuration – L3 – was introduced. John had already visited a specialized Asari clinic on the Citadel in order to buy the new generation of implants. Although the brain surgery he'd have to undertake was highly dangerous and risky, he still considered it much better than collapsing on a battlefield, or during training, because of pain.

The defective L2 implants hadn't been the only thing making lives of the kids in the brain camp a living hell. He wasn't the only one who felt incredibly small whenever a certain Turian Commander as much as glanced in his direction. However after Vyrnnus death the brain camp was shut down and he was on a beginning of his new life. He was unsure about his decision to enlist, but it paid off. He quickly rose through ranks, becoming 1st Lieutenant of the Alliance Navy, and it was up to him now to lead men into battle. At the beginning preparing for missions, making plans and checking his and his men's equipment was another source of nervousness. Now he was used to it, it was nothing special for him. His experience had given him self-confidence and precision and he wanted nothing less from his unit - perfection.

He thought nothing could ever surprise him or get him to his knees. It had never occurred him waiting could make him so incredibly nervous and helpless. Usually he had to wait before a mission and that moments filled him with excitement and adrenalin. He always knew what he was up against, what to expect and knew he and his men were ready for anything. Now it was different. When he'd seen the Einstein dock, he expected her crew to come through the airlock, but it was twenty minutes now and the corridor was still empty. And there was nothing he could do.

As a biotic he'd had to learn to control his emotions. He knew how to stay in check. But now he was pacing to and fro impatiently. Occasionally he stopped to check his watch, then sighed and looked towards the hangar door. He had no idea what was taking them so long.

On top of it all he was tired. Half of the night he spent arguing with Katy. She'd stated that there was simply no way three people could squeeze into a flat consisting of a bedroom, a small living room combined with a kitchen and a bathroom. Eventually, after some time of completely fruitless discussion, they decided to throw away their useless coffee table and sofa and buy a studio couch for Maya. The former was easy. Getting a studio coach in a middle of a night was a challenge.

Though it wasn't exactly lack of sleep that was troubling him. He was used to it. However, as a biotic he needed to eat more often than normal people. Not even Katy's protein bar had been much of a help. And even thought he hadn't been using his biotic abilities since last day's drilling, the fact his stomach was rumbling now was disturbing. It reminded him of the time he'd tried to get into Special Forces...and failed due to the food shortage and excessive use of his abilities.

_Twenty two minutes,_ John frowned, looking at his watch again. _They docked twenty two minutes ago._ And just as he was about to sigh in frustration a sound behind his back made him spin around.

...

She'd seen pictures of Earth many times before, but when they finally approached the blue and green planet, she stared at it in awe. It was the same, yet completely different seeing it in person. The enormous orb, mix of water and land, covered by puffy white clouds, decorated with two bright ice caps, was floating in the space, looking imposing beyond description.

Half of it was drowned in the dark and from the hemisphere thousands and thousands of lights were winking at her merrily, forming a man-made cobweb connecting all major cities and countries. It reached to every part of the shadow as if there were no boundaries as for where humans could go; a land or an ocean, a lowlands or a high mountains, tropical islands or glaciers...they were everywhere. And suddenly the Earth seemed incredulously small to Maya, incredibly crowded and busy.

As if reading her thoughts, Tobias approached the girl quietly and wrapped his hand around her shoulder, looking over the object of her appreciation. "Not our Mindoir," he stated quietly, discreetly leaning closer to smell her hair. There was a scent of smoke and fire as if her hair were indeed made of flames. "But still breathtaking," he added and closed his eyes when she leaned against him for support.

"Not our Mindoir," she agreed quietly, echoing his words. Her fingers were gently touching the device in her left palm absentmindedly. The omnitool was fastened to her hand by a flexible tape so that its owner wouldn't have to keep their palms closed all the time. The device itself was quite small, it could easily fit into a pocket, but Maya preferred to keep it that way. It wasn't like she expected anyone to jump at her. She just felt better, knowing it was in her palm, ready to be used whenever she needed. Besides, it wasn't obscuring anyhow, and if she needed her hands empty, she simply slid her thumb beneath the tape and pulled the omnitool down her hand to rest it on her wrist as a bracelet. "I'm not sure if I ever manage to get used to it," she added throwing her head towards the sapphire in front of them. "Mindoir was..."

"I know what you mean. We're going to look like a bunch of yokels down there."

Maya brought her eyebrows together in an unhappy frown. "I don't care about them," she blurted out. "Or what they might think. They have no right to judge any of us. They don't know what it is like to watch your whole world burn to ashes. Both figuratively and literally speaking."

"That sounded...nothing like you. So...hatefully," Tobias commented, but squeezed her shoulders in silent agreement, caressing her bare arm with his fingers. With her clothes ruined the crew had given her an issued white tank top and the usual fatigue trousers all crewmembers were wearing while on duty. Captain had said it wouldn't hurt since it was possible to buy the whole uniform on the extranet.

And Tobias approved. He liked the way all the pockets pronounced her hips. And he even more liked the white top she wore tugged behind the belt. The neckline was deeply cut and showed that Maya wasn't a little girl any longer.

He shook his head to get rid of the thoughts and forced himself to look up back in her eyes. "So...how does your leg feel?" he said and it took all his strength of will not to slide his eyes down her neck once again, particularly when her close proximity was giving him a perfect view.

She turned her head to look at him. "Medigel can do wonders, but it still needs some time to heal completely. A week at least, Julie says."

"Well, until then I'm perfectly happy with being your stick," he smiled at her and was hoping she'd respond in a kind, but her face remained unchanged. "That was a joke," he added. "I know it's...impossible."

She nodded and sighed heavily. "Let's...let's go upstairs," she decided. Paying a last look to their new home they turned away from the window and slowly made their way towards the narrow stairway. They were walking slowly, but Maya was glad she could walk. She was sick of lying in bed and there was no need to hurry. Before they could actually leave the ship they would need to undergo a thorough identification, to make sure they were really them, and everyone knew with so many little kids it would take a long time.

And then – the airlock. Another matter that almost drew Maya crazy. Before they could proceed there was the decontamination. It was a standard procedure on all Alliance ships, but the dull woman voice repeating: "Decontamination in progress," irked her so much she wanted to scream.

When the outer door of the airlock finally opened, instead of the long-desired fresh air she got just another long corridor. With a sigh and her head bent down she followed the column of children in front of her. Her eyes were on the steel floor watching her shadow appear and hide behind her again as she was passing under the lights on the ceiling. Tobias joined her after he'd passed through the airlock as well, but she kept her head down. She lifted it only when a pair of feet appeared in her vision. She scanned the man from head to toe – or rather from toe to head – quickly and dropped her eyes again, uninterested in the brunet.

...

John had tried to imagine what the reunion would look like many times in his head. She could be angry with him for leaving and never showing on Mindoir again. Or she could be, of course, shaken and shattered, maybe even crying. He was afraid of the latter. He was sure he wouldn't know what to say to make her feel better, if there even was anything he could say to make it better. He could hold her, of course, pat her back reassuringly – and awkwardly – after she'd fall into his arms. Maybe she'd start screaming at him, blaming him, because that's what people in such situation sometimes did.

But the reality was...different.

He'd recognized her the moment he saw her. Her bright red hair was shining in the empty, dull corridor of grey and blue steel. Her face was pale and her eyes seemed to be greatly interested in the floor under her feet. She was limping, he'd noticed immediately, her left leg was hurt. And, which puzzled him, she was wearing a part of a military uniform.

He was watching her all the way and when she finally lifted her eyes to him before he could actually say anything, her head was down again, facing the cold floor.

_She didn't recognize me,_ he realized and turned when she passed him by, so that he could at least watch her back. Of all the scenarios he'd made in his head, he never considered this one.

_But of course, what were you thinking? She was six,_ he reminded himself and turned to the person who stopped by his side. "Captain Shepard," he nodded once, greeting his friend. Usually he'd immediately stand at attention, saluting her, but he was off duty now and not even in his uniform.

Hannah smiled at her namesake kindly. "I'm glad to see you too, John. Although I wish it could be under different circumstances," she added, her smile gone. She motioned with her hand towards the receding group. Together they started to follow it slowly.

"How is she?" John asked silently. It felt like the right thing to ask.

"Well, she's fighting the experience," Hannah said after a moment of hesitation. "I've talked to her and she was able to tell me what happened from her perspective. That's a good sign I suppose."

"So...she's fine...relatively?"

His question was met with a shake of her head. "I wouldn't say she is fine, John, far from it actually. She still needs a special care. Have you talked to a therapist yet?"

He nodded. "Yes. He gave me a few useful tips, but I'm still not sure this mission is for me."

Hannah stopped abruptly and put a hand oh the marine's arm to stop him as well. "She is not a mission, John," she said in deadly serious voice. "She's a traumatized girl, don't forget it."

"You know, Hannah, I didn't mean it that way. I know who she is, don't worry."

"I do worry, John," she stood her ground, giving him a piercing look. "You're a good marine, good biotic. One can rely on you in a mission. But this is different. I don't know how much they told you, but…" she took a pause a take a breath, "she had to kill to save her life, John. A sixteen years old girl had to toast two Batarians to crisp in order to survive."

There was a second of pause, while her words were slowly sinking in. John took a long, deep breath. "What?" was all he managed to say.

"You heard me. If you are interested, I'll send you my report about the attack after I'm done with the Committee. But for now...John, one of my men broke down after he got back from that place. So you can imagine what it had to be like for her."

"I...had no idea."

"Now you do," she said in an authoritative voice and finally beckoned him to set off again. When he did, he noticed the group was already nowhere to be seen. Silently he let the elder women by his side lead him through the maze of corridors in the military spaceport.

Their journey ended in front of a door leading to a large room with a window for one wall, giving people inside a fantastic view of the city of Vancouver. Unlike most of the complex this room was decorated with plants to make it more comfortable. There was a large sofa and numerous seats around a small coffee table. Through the open door John spotted some refreshments on it; food and water. There was a box full of toys as well, but he doubted any of the kids would feel like playing with them at the moment.

He wondered how long they were going to be in that room before the Committee would decide their fates. He'd heard rumours about their intentions. They didn't want to split the group completely. Even thought they weren't anyhow related, some of the kids were supposed to stay together in new families and as for the adults the Alliance would find them a place to live and a work to help them with their new lives. After all, it was their responsibility the colony wasn't protected better, as the press liked to remind.

"Wait here, I'll bring her," Hannah told him and left him standing in the corridor while she headed inside. He made a step aside to get a better view of the room. His eyes focused on the only redhead inside. Maya had already taken a seat and she was holding her left leg. She had leaned forward a little bit, her hair was covering her face. And the boy who'd been accompanying her along the way was kneeling in front of her.

"Maya?" Hannah said. She was talking silently, but he could still hear her, and didn't fail to notice the warmth in her voice that had disappeared after his rather inappropriate remark.

The girl turned her head after the sound of her name and pulled her hair from her face, tugging the strands behind her ear. Her emerald eyes rested on the woman in front of her for a moment, before they flicked to John standing in the corridor. Hannah didn't need to add anything. Maya's eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise.

The boy followed her gaze and frowned deeply. His features softened however when the girl looked at him quickly. He smiled at her and without a word helped her to stand up. John's eyebrows rose slightly when he quickly draped his arms around her waist in a tight embrace. She returned the gesture, wrapping her arms around his neck as if she never wanted to let go of him. John noticed the boy's lips were moving, but didn't hear anything of what he was whispering into his sister's ear.

Then, just as suddenly, she pushed him away and for a moment John thought he saw something similar to bewilderment cross her face. It was so quick though, that it left him wondering whether it was just his imagination or not.

He didn't have much time to reflect on it when the couple left the room. Hannah closed the door behind her and approached his sister. Resting a hand on her shoulder she smiled at her. She didn't say anything before she turned around and left them alone finally.

John shifted his weight nervously, before collecting himself. "Are you ready?"

She turned her eyes to him. "No. Let's go," she whispered. John quickly moved to her side to help her, but she pushed him away. "I can do it," she said stubbornly and with that, without any delay or looking back, she started limping down the corridor.

...

Until up that point John had never actually fathomed the meaning of a phrase _awkward silence_. But their journey from the military spaceport to his flat could be described by exactly these words. Maya was quiet. Her head was turned away from him as she was watching everything around her. It had to seem eerie and strange to her, growing up on Mindoir, John mused. He remembered what it had felt like for him when the shuttle docked in one of many docks of Gagarin station. And it was nothing compared to Vancouver.

He wanted to talk to her so badly, but couldn't come up with anything to say. But it shouldn't be so difficult. As kids they'd had plenty of things to talk about, even thought there was a six years gap between them. She had been always so interested in everything John was doing, and that was making things easier for him. She was admiring him, he knew, he could see it in her eyes, and it was making him incredibly proud.

But now, there was no respect in her eyes, no admiration. In fact, there was nothing in them. Just emptiness, sadness and pain.

"What happened to your leg?" he wanted to ask, but quickly forgot the silly notion. She didn't need to be reminded of what happened.

"How was the journey?" another question popped up in his head, but he rejected the idea as well. It was just as stupid question as the former one. Talking about the uniform she had on was dumb as well.

"How far is it yet?" a soft voice broke the silence finally. John did a double take and when he turned his head towards his sister, she was looking at him. "I'm tired," she added silently.

"Eh...just...just five more minutes. Traffic's terrible this time of a day with people getting to work and..." he cleared his throat, "...five minutes."

She nodded once and her attention again focused anywhere but on him.

"It's...just a small flat," he started saying. Talking about his flat seemed like a good idea to him, especially when she indirectly asked about it, very indirectly. "Just three rooms and...I'm afraid you'll have to sleep in the living room, but I'll try to find something larger."

"Hm…"

That was it. The end of their discussion. Maya showed no signs of wanting to talk to him so he let it at that. That was one of the first things the therapist had told him – she would talk once she'd be ready. Forcing her into it would be useless.

In short time John parked his speeder in front of a block of flats. Despite her wound Maya got out of it without his help; she found out she'd become very good at ignoring the pain. She closed the door and turned towards her new home, lifting her head up. She'd never seen a higher building. A day ago it might have impressed her and tak her breath away, but now it meant nothing to her. It was just a building made of concrete and glass and who knows what else. It was crowded and Maya was sure she'd never have a chance to meet half of them.

On Mindoir she knew everyone.

"This way," John motioned her forward, touching her on her back gently. "Do you want a..."

"I can walk," she assured him coldly. But she let him lead the way.

When the door of John's flat opened, it revealed a quite small living room. A large wall unit was stretching alongside two walls, and then there was a large, flat TV set and an extranet terminal. The sofa on the opposite side of the room looked rather new and like it wasn't supposed to actually be here, it was somehow different from the rest of the furniture. The living room and the kitchen were both rendered in red and white colours, only the sofa was black. There was an oblong window above it, letting the light in.

"You bought it because of me?" she asked and approached the couch slowly. She sat down on it slowly and stretched out her left leg. It was much better now, besides she'd got used to the pain.

"Well...we didn't have a bed for you," he shrugged.

"And why is the wall unit empty?" she asked and looked to her right into the empty shelves.

"I moved the things out to make a space for your belongings."

"I don't have any."

"You will. I took a day off to...well...show you the city and get things you need."

"That's nice of you," she said quietly, but there was no sign of any appreciation in her tone whatsoever, John noticed. It was just a statement. It was nice of him, but she didn't care.

"Do you want me to make the..._bed_ for you? You said you were tired," he offered, remembering her words.

She shook her head. "I...I was tired of travelling. I don't want to sleep." _I don't want to dream._

The door opened again with a silent swoosh and made Maya raise her head from the black sofa under her. There was a tall, slim woman with Asian features in the doorframe, dressed in comfortable brown trousers and a tight sweatshirt with a hood. She was holding a backpack in her right hand. For a second she looked confused, but then she smiled kindly at Maya. "Uh, hello. I had no idea you'd be back so quickly," the woman said and looked at John.

He shrugged. "Well, Maya, that's Katherine, my..."

"...girlfriend," his sister finished for him. "I'm not stupid," she stated after the look her brother gave her.

For a second no one moved and the silence stretched for eternity, but then Katherine cleared her throat and walked in the room. She put the backpack on the couch next to Maya. "Well, I thought you'd like something to change in, so I brought you something of mine. And I was right. You can't walk around in this...isn't it part of military uniform?"

Maya leaned over the backpack to see the clothes. She saw an ordinary T-shirt and jeans inside the backpack. She took it and stood up, motioning John to stay where he was when he made a move to help her. "I'll change over there," she pointed to the next room. They didn't stop her when she walked to it and closed the door behind her.

She found herself in their bedroom. In its centre stood a large double bed which had a bedside table on each side. Next to door was a built-in wardrobe with sliding door.

She unfastened the military belt and eased the trousers down her hips, then sat down on the bed and took off her shoes. She started rolling the trousers down her legs, careful not to touch the bandages on her left thigh. Through the door she could hear muffled voices of John and Katherine talking about what they were about to do now.

"Wait...you want to go with us?"

"And why not? Maya is your sister, and she's going to live with us. I'd like to get to know her."

Once her left leg was free it was easy to strip the trousers completely. She folded them and put them on the bed next to her. Then she pulled the top over her head, folded it as well and added it to the pile.

"I thought it would be better if we spent the first day...well...just the two of us."

"John...honey, she needs to buy a lot of things. And – although the image is hilarious – I'm not really sure if you could help her with buying underwear or...other women stuff."

"Eh...women stu...oh...I...yeah...I see…yeah. You're right. I'm glad you're coming."

That almost brought a smile to Maya's lips. Almost. In slow motion she took the black shirt and put it on. When her head was inside and she inhaled, instead of a scent of trees and grass and sun she smelled some luxurious softener. And she disliked the smell immediately. _Stop it, stop it now!,_ the clever voice in her head spoke up again. _Beggar's can't be choosers. Besides, think of others. They have no one to bring them clothes,_ it upbraided her for being stupid. She finished the motion, sticking her head out of the black fabric. She was surprised the shirt fit her.

"I knew you'd come around."

"Well, you know me."

She put her legs into the jeans and stood up, carefully pulling them up. The waistline was too wide for her so she used the belt to keep it at place. Then she put on her shoes again and gathered the clothes into her arms. She stopped in front of the door and looked at the panel on its side. She didn't want to be walking around. She wanted to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, but that would be to no good. That would be like running away.

She remembered the moment back in the spaceport when Tobias had suddenly hugged her closely. _"Take care, May,_" he'd whispered into her ear. _"We might never see each other again, but the thought of you fighting your new life will give me strength to go on as well. I know you can do it, May, you're the strongest person I've ever met. So, do it for me, please. Do it for the very guy who loved you ever since he laid his eyes on you."_

She'd pushed him away, too startled by his confession to say anything and she'd run away from him instead.

But now she wouldn't run. She had no idea if she could get over this all but she knew she'd try. For her, for her brother...for Tobias.

She lifted her hand and punched the panel, opening the door. "I'm ready," she said and shoved the clothes into one of the empty shelves.

* * *

Thanks for reading. The next chapter's going to take me a little longer, I'm heading off for some time and I doubt I'll have time for writing.

Lyv: Thank you so much for the review, it made my day :) And, don't worry about the mistakes, I make them all the time too :)


	4. Weakness

Disclaimer: I don't own ME, unfortunately

* * *

It was not a beautiful day. The sun was hidden behind a dark mass of clouds and the air smelled of the inevitable rain. The wind was blowing strongly and the sea water, mercilessly beating against the stone banks of the False Creek, was roaring so loudly you couldn't hear yourself think.

Not many people would choose this moment for a walk, they preferred to stay inside and entertain themselves in other ways of the twenty second century. Nonetheless there was this slowly walking couple, rambling through the streets of the large city, alone, deeply buried in their talk. None of them had a smile on their face. The theme of their discussion was far too serious for jokes or pleasantries.

"I've already told you the mission was unfeasible a thousand times before," the woman growled angrily, burying her cold hands deeper into her coat's pockets, the black fabric flapping behind her helplessly. "And I'm tired of repeating it all over again," she added and tossed her long, dark hair out of her face.

"Then why are you still staying? The boss is worried about your...preferences," the tall man responded. He narrowed his eyes and bent his head slightly to protect his face against the wind, but he kept on intently watching the Asian woman next to him. His hands, protected from the cold by fine leather gloves, were seemingly casually hanging by his side. In truth, they were ready to reach under his dark blue anorak for a pair of Harpy Pistols hidden under it if necessary. Not that he considered the woman by his side a threat, but he had his orders. She had never been important and her failure had made here even more...replaceable. If she hinted any signs of disloyalty or hesitation, he was to kill her. But she wasn't without a chance yet.

She stopped abruptly and turned her face to him. Her expression was furious. "I haven't forgotten my allegiances, Adam. But I can't just leave," she said with her teeth clenched and shot him an angry look.

The man's grey and blue eyes smiled for a moment, though his face remained unchanged. "But you can. I dare to say now is the best time. He's offered you the best excuse ever on a silver plate, but you're deliberately trying not to see it," he said in a calm voice.

As if to underline his arguments, the weather chose this moment to strike its first lightning. The zigzagging bolt of bright light illuminated his face for a second and casted a terrifying shadow over it.

Katherine flinched when the thunder rumbled not far from them, the sound piercing into her very being like a reminder of her boss's anger at her failure. Adam's eyes were looking at her mercilessly, painfully similar to _the_ eyes, minus the implants. "That's not true," she said quietly.

Adam couldn't hear her over the wind and water's roaring, but he was good enough at reading lips to know what she said. "If not, than the reality is even more alarming than we thought. You weren't supposed to fall in love with him, Katherine. You were..."

"I can't leave, because despite not being able to finish my mission I'm still a valuable source of information," she didn't let him finish and she was slowly losing her temper with him.

Adam, however, was pleased by her hot-headed reaction. Maybe she wasn't lost after all. "We had enough information, we needed results. And as far as I know one of the most powerful human biotics still isn't on our pay roll. The boss is growing impatient, Katherine."

Her face twisted in her rage and Adam, once again, thoroughly enjoyed it. Emotions were a dangerous thing...and, if you knew how to work with them, very useful. "You think it's so easy?" she snapped at him, finally freeing her hands again to wave them angrily in the air. "It took me a year – a year! – to get closer to him. He's incredibly withdrawn and it's impossible to read in him. Hell! In those four years the first time I ever saw any emotion on his face was when he was with her!"

Adam straightened a little and looked at the woman in a completely new light. In slow pace he approached the bank and leaned against the wall, his eyes scanning the dark turbulent surface of the water. His mind was racing and a vicious smile was spreading across his face.

Another lightning split the sky and Adam patiently waited until the thunder had its say. "He...cares about her," he stated and lifted his hand, palm up, when he felt the first cold drop of rain hit his face. Another landed on his palm. And another. And another. The rainfall quickly started whispering around him.

"No, it's more like he feels guilty," she corrected him when she joined his side. "He spent more time with her than me during that week. He barely left her side whenever he wasn't at work. It's like he's trying to make up for the trauma she came through."

Adam nodded. He of course knew everything about the attack. No details escaped his boss's attention. And, Adam suspected, the attack had to make him furious. The precious Alliance, which so willingly rushed to cooperate with other races of the universe, was unable to protect its own people now. Despite everything humans were suffering from this so-called symbiotic union with the rest of the galaxy, not the other way around. But unlike other races, humanity had no support outside the Sol system. They were alone out there. _Not completely alone,_ Adam thought. He was aware Katherine was still talking, something about the girl and a first day in her new school, but it held no importance now. He had his plan and that was all that mattered.

"Hey...I know this smile," she reflected.

Adam tilted his head and turned slightly to look at her. "You're right, Katherine. You are a valuable source of information," he nodded few times.

"Of course I am," she growled, still oblivious to the whole situation.

"Do you still have your...contacts?" he asked.

Katherine shifted her weight. "I do," she said in confusion. "It's not easy to give up on red sand once you start. Why?"

"Let's say we need someone to help us smuggle a container off Earth and to Omega. And since there aren't many ships travelling from here directly to the station, it needs to be done via the Citadel."

That seemed to bemuse the woman even more. "I don't follow you. What container? I thought we were talking about John."

Adam nodded again and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, leading her away from the waterfront. "Although I don't know them, our boss has his reasons why he wants John Shepard on our side, dear Katherine. And when he wants something, he usually gets it."

"I've told you..."

"...that John is far too loyal to the Alliance, yes, I've heard you those thousand times before," he reassured her. "But what if we helped him in a seemingly desperate situation his precious Alliance wouldn't be able to solve?"

"What situation?"

This time Adam shook his head. "The fewer you know the better for you, Katherine. But let's say: we finally found John Shepard's weakness. Now, your task..."

...

It was raining when she got out of her brother's speeder. Without looking back she mumbled something similar to: "See you later," and walked away, slowly heading towards the large door. She wasn't in a hurry like other kids, quickly running to their school to hide before the falling drops. She didn't mind a little storm. Mindoir was a very hot and dry place and so the rain was always welcomed.

_If only it wasn't so cold here,_ she thought and shivered, bringing her arms up to hug herself to gain some warmth. She wore long trousers, a sweatshirt and a warm anorak, which made her look strangely with other kids wearing just their T-shirts, but she couldn't help. This part of Earth was cold for her. And it was only a beginning of autumn. It made her fear what the winter would be like.

The school was nothing like the one back on Mindoir. The building, shaped into a crescent, seemed brand-new and terribly expensive to Maya. Her former school was much more moderate and – in comparison to this one – rather bland. And instead of beautiful garden with trees and flowers in front of it, this school's surroundings were just a concrete and more buildings. It was all sad and grey. _And cold,_ Maya shivered once again before finally reaching to the door.

The large, wide corridor she found herself in was brightly lit to compensate the lack of sunlight from the outside. It stretched both to her left and right, but she couldn't see neither of the ends since the corridor was curved to match the shape of the building. Along the walls were countless lockers with digital locks for students, vending machines and extranet terminals.

There had been no public extranet terminals on Mindoir, except for the one in the library.

In front of her were three elevators made of stainless steel, indicating that this school had five levels. Maya had no idea why the building was so large, but again – this was not Mindoir.

She looked at the closest locker. There was a display showing a number and a name of a student it belonged to. This one was number sixty two. She lifted her omnitool and activated it, searching her e-mails. She'd received an email from school with all the information she would need, including the number of her locker. "Two hundred ninety seven," she whispered and in a slow pace begun looking for this number.

She found it on the second level of the building, almost at the end of a corridor to her right. She left there everything she thought she wouldn't need at the moment – her new datapad, her snack, her wet anorak. For a moment she considered taking the datapad with her, but she didn't feel like making notes today. Tobias had never been making any notes and though he did fail a test or two, his grades were more or less above-average. _Yeah, but only because he always borrowed my notes,_ she reminded herself. The datapad, however, remained inside when she closed the locker again and, with a heavy sigh, she mingled into the crowd of students, this time heading to her new classroom.

She was walking with her head bent down, reading the instructing email. According to it, her classroom was on the last level, number twenty eight. _Everything is numbered here,_ she thought grimly, _I bet I'm just a number to them as well...a number of credits John's going to send them for teaching me._

She felt a touch on her left shoulder and that startled her. She flinched; the swift jerky motion sent a wave of pain up and down her leg. She bit down on her tongue trying not to groan when her muscles tightened under the wound and she lifted her left hand, activating her omnitool once again, ready to defend herself.

"Hey, chill out, chicken," a girl's voice said with a hint of mockery. "Geez! You react as if I wanted to kill you," the tall girl in front of her laughed. She had deep voice and dark eyes, but her hair was gaudily violet.

Feeling a little bit embarrassed Maya let her hand fall to her sides as she collected herself. "What do you want?" she asked.

"Where did you get the hair?"

"What?"

"The colour? What brand is it?"

"Brand?"

"..of the dye? You know, I could use a colour like that next Halloween."

"It's natural."

"Yeah...sure, natural. You know what? If you didn't want to tell me, you could tell me to sod off. Cow..." she muttered and turned around, disappearing into the crowd again and all Maya could do was staring after her with her mouth hanging open. "Well...great start," she mumbled after the shock wore off and with even worse mood she headed to the elevators.

The bell was ringing when she stepped inside the class room. It was a small room with five rows of school desks, most of them already occupied. There was a whiteboard and a teacher's desk with a laptop and a projector. As soon as Maya appeared in the room, everyone turned to look at her and their confusion was plainly written on their faces.

"You must be in a wrong class, honey," one of her new schoolmates stated, giving her a self-confident smile. The boy could be as tall as she was with brown eyes and hair. He was sitting on his desk, but suddenly his eyes widened and he quickly slid down right onto the chair. It was then when Maya realized someone was standing behind her.

"How come you aren't behind your desk yet?" a stern voice said close to her right ear. Maybe the woman behind her was talking loudly, but thanks to the explosion on Mindoir everything coming from the right sounded much quieter to Maya, though Julie had assured her the damage wasn't permanent. Anyway, Maya couldn't help but doubt it.

"Oh, wait. You must be the new student!" the tone of the voice changed completely and Maya only managed to turn her head before a hand caught her elbow and shoved her into the classroom. Maya's face twisted in pain because of the sudden movement, but she managed to stay on her feet, for which she was glad. The teacher, short brunet with thin lips that were now forming a kind smile on her face, placed her in front of the whiteboard and stepped next to her. "Class," she started importantly, "I'd like to introduce you a new student. So," she looked at Maya, "how about telling your new friends your name?" she bid her with a smile so sweet it could make your teeth rot.

And all Maya could do was, once again, to stare. How could she grin like that? There was nothing funny or amusing. The day was dark and dreadfully cold, her colony was destroyed, her parents dead and her best friend gone.

In a very slow motion she turned her head to look at the other kids in the room. Most of them seemed amused by the scene, some bored and one girl almost in the back of the room was filing her nail, completely uninterested.

The teacher seemed to grow a little bit impatient and the emotion was clear in her voice. "Come on, we don't have all day. How do your parents call you?"

Maya's head snapped back to the woman next to her. "They don't now," she said weakly. _They are dead._

"Alright..." the teacher gave her another smile, this time it was painfully strained. "This is Maya Shepard and she's just moved in the city. Well, I hope you'll blend in just nicely. Go take your place over there." She patted Maya on her back to get her moving.

As if in a dream she walked down the aisle between her new classmates, feeling a little lightheaded. The pain in her leg was pulsing with every step, but she decided to ignore it once again. Just as she ignored all the heads turning after her when she passed them by. She approached an empty desk beside the window and set her schoolbag on the floor, sitting down carefully. Stretching her leg she turned to stare out of the window, somehow partly expecting to see the well-known trees swaying softly, singing their whispery songs in unison with the soft, autumn wind. Instead a speeder raced behind the window and all she could see was the steely grey sky, occasionally lit by a lightning.

"Not our Mindoir," she heard herself whisper in the quietest of voices, watching the rain pouring outside, beating against the window pane, begging to be let in. It seemed ironic to Maya. Why would it want to go to a place such as this? It seemed so in rush, busy and distastefully crowded. _And mean,_ she remembered the girl from the corridor. It wasn't like people on Mindoir were always polite, they could be rude just as anybody, but they would never call you any names because of such a pettiness.

She turned her head to the other side and wanted nothing more than to see Tobias grinning at her and to hear him ask her what she was going to do in the afternoon. And that – whatever her plan was – they could do it together.

Now when she was thinking about it, it was painfully obvious. Of course Tobias loved her. All the time the hints were there, but she was blind to them. She regarded him as a friend, as a kindred spirit, as a brother she'd lost...but nothing more.

Would she see him differently back then, knowing he had feelings for her? She couldn't stop thinking about it. What if...what if...what if it would have worked out?

No, it would never work out, she knew. Not because of her or him, but because of _them_. Now she wouldn't be missing only her home, her parents and her friend...but someone much closer to her heart as well. No, things were better that way.

...

John was lost. At first when he received the message he was glad. They had informed him the new L3 implants for him were ready and he was expected to arrive to the Citadel and undertake the surgery. It would finally put an end to the endless suffering the old L2 generation was causing and two days ago he wouldn't have hesitated. But now the situation was different.

"I don't understand you, John," Katherine shook her head and took her glass of water to have a sip before continuing: "It's just three days. I'm sure she can manage to stay that long on her own. She's not a kid, John. Trust her a little bit."

"I..." John started saying, but she didn't let him. "You've suffered long enough, John. And I'm afraid for you too," she said quietly and reached out to cover his hand with hers. When John had so suddenly invited her for a lunch she didn't know what to expect. But when he told her about the surgery, she knew it was Adam's work. A perfect way to get him off-world and buy some time to get on with his plan, whatever it was.

And she'd contacted her clients and promised to deliver next few doses of red sand for free if they help her get a certain container undetected from the Citadel to Omega...and they agreed. Everything was ready and planned out. The only thing remaining was John. And Katherine knew she couldn't afford to fail again. "Love, I don't want to have to visit you in a hospital like a year ago. I was so terrified you wouldn't wake up. I...understand you're worried, but she's going to be fine. Please, John..."

And she knew she wouldn't fail. She didn't care about his sister, but John's well-being was really important to her. She didn't have to pretend the worry in her voice, the fear in her eyes and the way her hand clutched his. She didn't have to lie to him about being afraid for him, because she was sincere.

Again, when John took a breath to speak, she was faster: "We can supply her with as much food as our fridge can contain. She wouldn't have to leave the flat at all, except for journeys to school. She'll be save, John. And maybe she actually needs to be alone for awhile. You know, to sort out the thoughts. Maybe once we'll back she'll realize that she missed us and finally would start talking again and laugh and…Please, think about it. I know you're a strong man and few pains can't kill you, but collapsing on a battlefield might. Besides..." she lowered her voice and sheepishly dropped her eyes, "since Mindoir was attacked we didn't really have time for one another. This last week…well…I miss you John."

...

_Maybe I'll get used to it all after all...eventually,_ Maya thought while she was slowly eating her apple. It wasn't all that bad, actually she liked the taste, thought she had been a little afraid of it at first. She knew the typical Earth's fruit, but they didn't grow them on Mindoir. But it was good, a little bit sour, but she liked it.

Although the day passed slowly, and it seemed it took a week instead of a few hours, the school was finally over. She was sitting on the pavement outside the building, chewing slowly, enjoying the first moment of peace after so long. The air smelled of rain and was much fresher thanks to the storm.

For the first time in eight days she felt a ghost of a smile appear on her lips when she leaned backwards, putting her free hand behind for a support, and lifted her head to look up. As if it was the most interesting thing in the world, she watched the dark, moving chain of shuttles and speeders high above her. Although her mood was much better now, little things like all the ships, the noise and the crowds were still making her feel like a complete stranger.

However, she had always wanted to leave Mindoir. It was her dream, her desire, her craving. The colony had felt just too small and boring, and she often envisioned herself aboard a star ship, exploring remote systems, getting to know new species and cultures. She had had moments when she felt her destiny was elsewhere, and the only thing keeping her grounded were her duties.

_But in my mind's eye I always had a place to return to,_ she thought, though not as bitterly as she would have a week ago, and brought her left hand up to take another bite of the apple. She chewed a few times, than sucked the juice from the unfortunate fruit, then went on chewing slowly.

Mindoir was gone, but she was still there. Here and now. Mindoir was gone and nothing would bring it back, or the people who'd died there. She felt empty, it still hurt like nothing she'd ever felt before, but she knew she had to go on. And Tobias believed she'd be strong enough to go on. And she simply couldn't disappoint him.

"_I've seen the pictures on the extranet yesterday. They had finally published them. It was...terrible. There was nothing left of the colony!" a girl was saying loudly, a circle of schoolmates formed around her, as Maya walked into the school canteen. _

"_Yeah, Tai, I've seen them too. Can you imagine the massacre there? I still see the blood on all the containers..." another student added his voice._

_Maya bit her tongue sharply. She hoped the acute physical pain would beat her inner torture, that it would make her ignore the emptiness, but the sudden stab of sorrow was still too strong. She swallowed heavily when turned to the cold buffet, clutching an empty plate in her hands. _

"_I hope they'll catch the slavers and execute them for what they've done. You know, I've heard seventeen colonists survived. Seventeen! The population was over three hundred."_

"_We should have nuked Khar'shan a long ago."  
"James, don't talk like that. There are human pirates and terrorists too, and no one threatens to nuke Earth because of it."_

_As strangely as it seemed to her at the moment, Maya found herself agreeing with the last sentence. Batarians were rather disreputable and paranoid, but it was just a handful of them that were so bloodthirsty. And as far as her memory reached, batarian government didn't even allowed its citizens to leave batarian space._

"_My point is we should have some retribution. The Alliance has to show them they can't push us around without punishment. Just like Turians had to pay us the reparations after the First Contact War."_

"_That was the Council's decision," Maya suddenly herd her own voice. For a second, it surprised her. With hesitation she turned around. The whole group was now looking at her. "A-after the Rachni Wars the Council forbid activating the Relay 314, but our ships coming through the Charon Relay on our side, reactivated exactly this relay. Turians simply saw it as a breaking of a Council law and decided to open fire. Fortunately for us, the Council itself later evaluated their...approach...as a bad one, and ordered the Turian government to firstly stop the war and secondly to pay the reparations," she said quickly, remembering all the details from the history lessons.  
"She's right, you know, James? Attack on Mindoir had no political subtext. Besides, the Alliance knew the risks when they started founding the colonies. It was their responsibility to protect Mindoir, not the Council's." _

"_I'm not saying the Council should order the slavers to stop."_

"_Yeah, because they wouldn't stop anyway. You know, they are pirates. They don't care."_

"_You mean cowards...only cowards would attack a helpless colony."_

"_Mindoir wasn't helpless," Maya interfered again. "It had its own military base. But they knew it and destroyed it first...and stripped the colony of its only protection," she said. She was speaking loudly, as if she was trying to talk above the explosion that suddenly started ringing in her ears. She took a slow breath and was surprised the air didn't feel hot in her lungs. She shivered at the memory and closed her eyes tightly for a moment. "And doomed it. There was an Alliance war ship coming to Mindoir at the same time, and I'm sure if the slavers hadn't destroyed the base, the marines would have managed to hold them back until the Einstein's arrival." _

"_How can you know it all? They haven't made any public interviews about the attack yet."_

_She resisted shifting her weight. "I have a brother in the Alliance, who's a good friend with the ship's captain. I've overheard them talking about it," she lied. She didn't feel like telling them the truth. And as a punishment, she started hearing ringing in her right ear. _Like a reminder,_ she thought while she was turning back to the food, _I still can't hear properly on that ear.

That was how the apple found its way into her palm. After everything, she had wanted to get out of the canteen as quickly as possible, so she grabbed the closest thing she could; the apple.

"I don't think I've ever seen someone enjoy eating an apple like that before," a merry voice disturbed her. Before she could turn around, the boy from her class, the one that "greeted" her sat down on the pavement beside her, and lifted his head as well. "So…you like history, don't you?" he asked with a smile on his face, watching the traffic so intently as if he wanted to find some secret meaning in the way the speeders moved.

She swallowed and looked at the boy next to her. "What?" she mumbled and shifted slightly; suddenly she was aware of the cold, wet ground under her and it started bothering her. She felt a goose bumps prickle all over body and suddenly she wanted to get up, get her schoolbag and…simply get lost.

"I've heard you in the canteen. That was impressive. Your history teacher should be proud."

"I'm sure he would be," she mumbled. "Why are you here?" she added in louder voice.

He took a slow breath, buying himself some time, before he started speaking. "Well, I was interested in our new schoolmate. Taylor's jealous of you….your hair to be more specific…and that means you must be okay," he added.

"Who's Taylor?" Maya asked, ignoring the cheap flattery, and took another bite of the apple.

"That Barbie who keeps polishing or filing her nails," he replied and chuckled, apparently he considered his remark funny.

Maya looked at him with a blank expression. "So what? I don't care."

"My…aren't you a grumpy one, huh?"

"Why are you really here, David?" Maya asked again and looked at the half-eaten apple in her hand. Suddenly she wanted to throw it away as far as she could.

"I've told you."

"A lie. You've told me a lie."

He let out a long breath. "Okay, you got me. We were told to be nice to you," he admitted casually. "And since I pulled the shortest match it was up to me to find out why. Are you a crazy psychotic who kills anyone who angers her or what?" he tried to joke about the whole situation.

Unfortunately, Maya didn't find it funny at all. "I only kill when I must," she said in a deadly serious voice that made David visibly flinch. "As long as you don't shove a Terminator Assault Rifle into my face, you're completely safe," she added and had to close her eyes and shake her head to get rid of the image of the barrel in front of her eyes. She still could vividly remember the assault rifle; after all, she could see it every night in her dreams.

"So not only history, but weapons as well? Hm…Terminator…isn't it batarian line of rifles?" David asked, but Maya didn't answer him this time. She stood up finally, ignoring the way her left leg protested against her idea, and swung her schoolbag over one shoulder. Without saying goodbye she headed away, and was glad he didn't decide to follow her.

...

So far the day had enfolded very well for Katherine. When Adam sent her a message to meet in person, she knew the situation was not in her favour. But then the table turned and she was in a very good mood. She'd managed to persuade John to leave Earth tonight and, as a bonus, after they returned home they had the best sex ever. She didn't enjoy making him feel so guilty for neglecting her for the passed week, but it was totally worth it. Totally.

And now, the only task left was telling her.

She heard the door open and expected the girl to wordlessly sneak inside the flat like always, but when she heard her calling: "John! Katherine! I'm home!" she couldn't believe her ears. It was unnecessary, because a second later she walked into the living room, but she did it anyway. For the first time in those eight days she started speaking without being asked first.

Katherine quickly looked at John to find him staring at his sister. His face was, as usually, emotionless, but his widened eyes betrayed his surprise. She forced herself to smile when she turned to Maya again. "It seems your first day in school went well."

"Better than I thought," she agreed and hid her schoolbag behind her "bed".

"That's…fantastic," John commented as well. "Have you…eh…"

"I've tasted an apple," Maya said and sat down on the sofa. "For the first time ever," she added and shrugged.

"Did you like it?" Katherine asked. She never ate apples. When she was a little girl she almost choked to death on one of them.

"It was…quite good. I…yeah…I liked it."

"Well," Katherine smiled, "it's good to know your mood has improved a lot, isn't it John?" she turned to her partner and gave him a meaningful look.

"Is…something wrong?" Maya asked slowly, her eyebrows drawn together.

"No, not wrong, just…" John started saying and crossed the living room. In slow motion he sat down beside his sister. "I've been summoned to the Citadel for a…neural surgery…no, don't worry, I'm alright," he hurried to add when Maya's expression changed from worried to terrified. "It's just that I have the old version of biotic implants – L2. And they are…a little bit problematic. The surgery will give me the new L3 generation."

"Neural surgery? But that's…it sounds…"

"It's completely safe," he lied quickly. "Don't worry. The thing is, I'm going…we're going to be gone for three days."

John's attempt to calm Maya down turned out to be in vain. Her face was still full of so much fear Katherine would have considered it excessive if she hadn't known about Mindoir. _She must be really afraid for him…_she thought. And it was the only thing they both agreed on.

"Do you mean it?" the girl asked silently. "Is it safe? Are you going to be alright?" she went on asking her questions. Katherine suddenly felt like the two of them needed a moment alone, so she walked by the couple, heading to her and John's bedroom. She could still hear their voices, muffled by the door that had closed behind her and the rustling of her clothes as she was putting them into her sport bag, but she couldn't make out any words.

She realized she was smiling while she was packing her things. She was happy. She had three days only with John ahead of her – alright, only two, since the first day he would spend in the clinic – and she couldn't wait. She was looking forward to it so much…

But somewhere deep inside she was afraid as well. She had no idea what Adam was planning, but she was, technically, his partner in crime. And she dreaded the thought of John blaming her for whatever was going to happen if something, anything, went wrong.

* * *

To be continued, uff, I was much faster than I thought I would be with this chapter, heh, but that's a good news. Anyway, thank you so much for reading this chapter and if you feel like it, let me know what you think about it. I mean it, and don't be afraid to point out any mistakes, it helps me learn and get better :) Have a nice day.


	5. A dead man

Disclaimer: I don't own ME.

* * *

It was like signing his own death sentence. Worse, it was like walking right in front of someone's gun, virtually asking for a bullet in a head, but Jereth couldn't help himself. This time things went too far.

When several years ago, as a head of a Cerberus scientific cell, he'd been handpicked by the Illusive man himself for this mission, it felt like the climax of his career. Gathering intel about the way the Alliance treated and trained its biotics – the handful it had – was a major priority for Cerberus. And Jereth was more than glad to help, since humanity needed more biotics in order to survive in the galaxy. But since then the goal had changed; now it wasn't about information. Now Cerberus needed more.

John Shepard was the reason. Originally an inconspicuous colonist suddenly became a star of the Alliance Navy. He was a living proof even humans could be as strong biotics as Asari or Krogan, large reptilian creatures.

And Jereth was more than glad to sacrifice the comfort of his well-equipped lab for a training field only so that he could participate on this mission. He knew preparations would be hard, but that hadn't stopped his determination the first time he held a gun. This part was easy. He quickly learned how to watch the world around through the front sight of an assault rifle and pull the trigger. He was willing to clench his teeth and get through with the intensive physical training, all for this job. He needed to be in a good shape to be in _the_ unit. And it was easier to teach a scientist how to fight than teaching a solder how to make a science would. And now Cerberus needed both scientist and soldier in one person to _infiltrate John Shepard's unit._

That was easy. Although not a numerous group, Cerberus had already recruited many talented and gifted people into their ranks, and forwarding his made up dossier to the right place and into the right hands was therefore simple. Gaining his leader's trust was another step. However after hundreds of hours of drilling and few life-endangering missions, that had not once made Jereth doubt his sanity that he'd ever agreed on something like that, six people became one. And for Jereth it was still more and more difficult to keep in mind who the real boss was. But the constant surveillance had managed to keep him in line so far. He knew he wasn't the only Cerberus operative on this mission, but except for Adam he had never met the other person, or heard about him. It was a clever way to ensure both safety and obedience.

The truth was he'd started having doubts. Suddenly Cerberus wasn't just a pro-human organization fighting for man's place in the galaxy. All at once it was a group full of mistrust and risks. It was considered a threat to the entire galaxy – even to humans! So in order to protect it their leader divided the group into several independent cells and communicated strictly and only with their heads. People in each cell didn't know anyone from another cell, and sometimes didn't even know their own colleagues. Only the head had such knowledge, and much more.

The sensitive information coming through Jereth's hands often made him doubt his initial decision to support Cerberus, but so far he had remained faithful. His actions, and actions of other cells, were often harmful to other species, but he was willing to turn a blind eye whenever a visibly tortured Turian found _its_ way to his exam table for a dissection, or when he had the chance to autopsy an Asari brain to find out how exactly it was different from human for the sake of...

Biotics. Everything seemed to circle around this power.

Today was a new day however. Nothing was worth _this._

Jereth had once been married. His wife was dead now. "Thirteen years..." he murmured and his fingers were slowly levitating just inches above the holographic keyboard around his forearm. Thirteen years passed since the faithful day; the day humanity made _the_ _jump_. The day the ship with his wife aboard was destroyed by, at the time, unknown alien. Now all he had was Rebecca. And the older she was the more she took after her mother.

She was the reason why he couldn't actually do anything, the fear of her growing up without him was tormenting. However she was also the reason he couldn't just stand aside now. He couldn't allow them to sacrifice a sanity of an innocent girl. She was a human being, but they didn't hesitate to make her a scapegoat, just to get things their way.

Jereth's eyes flicked to the screen, the only source of light in his dark bedroom. _She has green eyes,_ he reflected. _So does Rebecca..._

He was a father. He had a child. A daughter. And he knew if someone, anyone, tried to hurt his daughter, he'd sacrifice his own life to _kill _them. But this girl, she had no father that would protect her. And her brother was gone, slyly lured away so that they would have a clear path.

He needed to help her _somehow._ He knew the best he could do for her now was to play his part in it, but it didn't seem enough. And so the silly notion was born.

Unfortunately for him, and fortunately for her, Jereth had always been far too curious for his own good – blame his scientific nature – and asked why the hell Adam needed names of batarian slaver groups on Omega. And what the information about Maya Shepard had to do with it. Although the answer wasn't straight in the slightest, Jereth managed to piece it all together. When all means of recruitment failed, Adam wanted to use another completely new and rather unconventional method. After all, his words were still ringing in Jereth's ears: _"We failed to get him on our side, but someone else might success where we didn't." _Jereth he would never forget the zealous gleam in his eyes.

_She means nothing to him,_ he thought and re-read the message blinking at him from his omnitool. He knew using a highly secured channel for sending would help a great deal to cover his tracks, but he had to take other precautions. He was sure he couldn't use _the word,_ so he chose another one, different, yet the same. John had never mentioned anything about his sister, but if she was half as smart as him, she'd understand.

_He doesn't care it might break her after everything she's been through,_ another thought popped up in his mind when his finger hesitantly and with obvious reluctance and fear neared the _send_ button. _Just a way to get to his goal._ He closed his eyes tightly and then his finger hit the target. A soft beep informed him he was a dead man.

...

The light had already started coming through the window above her bed when Maya opened her eyes. She took a slow breath and sat up while combing her hair with her fingers. She drew her eyebrows together and let out a shaky breath.

For a moment she thought she was back on Mindoir. The flat was quiet, as their house usually was this time of a year. With the harvest knocking on their door her parents often used to leave their house before she woke up, and often returned after she was in bed again.

But then she realized it was a mere sofa she was sleeping on, not her comfortable bed. The the scent of her blanket and pillow was different as well and then it all came rushing back to her. Her eyes filled with tears while she was staring at her reflection in the large TV in front of her. It was still her, looking at her from the other side of the room, and yet she could scarcely recognize herself. The deep dark circles under her eyes that had never been there were now screaming about how exhausted she was because of her nightmares that kept waking her up in the middle of the night. And her eyes weren't shining anymore. The young, merry sparkles in them had been extinguished and they seemed much older, as if they didn't belong to a sixteen years old girl.

Maya closed them tightly, drying the tears that escaped from beneath the eye lids with her hand. She wouldn't cry. She was stronger than that.

A sudden loud sound made her flinch. Her hand flew in the air and with an unnecessary force it landed on top of a little alarm clock, making the flat drown in silence again, except for her quickened breathing.

"Time to get up," she reminded herself in a whisper and threw the blanket away. The air felt cold on her bare legs and goose bumps rose all over her body. She shivered and used her hand to stifle a yawn when she bent to her leg to examine the wound. She smiled groggily, pleased the last dose of medigel she'd applied yesterday finally served its purpose; the skin was almost healed now. And even when she touched the sensitive skin she didn't feel anything. Feeling content she finally got up, enjoying the painless walk to the bathroom.

"Lights – on," she ordered and closed her eyes again to protect them from the bright light when she approached the washbasin. She turned on the water and filled her palms with the liquid, spraying her face to finally wake up.

With the toothbrush in her mouth she made herself a cup of tea and much later, after she was dressed and in general ready to go to school she drunk it quickly. She put the empty cup into the stain steel sink and took her school bag, leaving the little flat finally.

Like the day before the sky was covered by clouds, but it wasn't raining. Maya still considered the air cold, though, and she hid her hand into the sleeves of her anorak when she walked with her head bent down. She didn't mind walking; she was used to a lot of walking and running back on Mindoir.

But now, after nine days, she wasn't thinking about Mindoir. Her thoughts turned towards her brother. She was wondering how long the journey to the Citadel might take and if John and Katherine had already arrived there. And if so, what they were doing right now. She knew John was expected at the clinic, so he was probably there, undertaking the surgery. A pinch of worry awoken in her, but she frowned and tried to push it away. John would be alright. He'd told her so and even though it was just a lie to calm her down. He wouldn't have gone there knowing he might never leave the place. She was sure of it.

A soft half-smile appeared on her lips when she thought back to the previous day. John seemed more worried about her staying here alone, then him. And although she felt a little bit insulted by his idea to send his friend to watch over her while he was gone, she had to appreciate the gesture. They hadn't seen each other for ten years and John just probably hadn't realized Maya wasn't six anymore.

This time, when she entered her classroom, no one paid her any confused looks. But it didn't mean they weren't watching her walk between them. She ignored their heads turning after her and headed to the desk she'd occupied yesterday. However as soon as she put her school bag on it and sat down a person approached her.

The tall girl with black hair and eyes stood with her hands crossed in front of her and watched Maya, while chewing on a gum.

"You want something?" Maya asked, her hand never letting go of her school bag.

"That's my desk," the brunet said, cocking her head to one side.

Maya narrowed her eyes and quickly scanned the girl from head to toe. "Taylor?" she whispered. "As far as I remember – and I dare to say my memory is rather excellent – yesterday your place was over there," she simply pointed to the other side of the class.

Taylor didn't bat an eyelash at that. "And today I want to sit here. It's too dark over there and I don't have a chandelier for hair like certain someone. But you can sit there. I'm sure you wouldn't mind," she said with a hint of mockery in her tone.

The class fell into silence after that. Everyone was watching the scene with bated breath, apparently waiting how the new girl would react.

_Chandelier?_ Maya thought while staring at the cheeky girl in front of her with emotionless expression. _She'd be surprised if this chandelier lifted her in the air and then smashed against this very floor,_ she thought. It hadn't been the first time she was thinking about how her life would be easier if she actually knew how to use the eezo in her body. But it was the first time she would actually use the ability, provided she knew how. And only because there was no one to step in, no one to defend her. _Tobias..._Maya thought sadly. If he was there, she knew he'd already interfered.

_ Of course he would. He loved you, you stupid._

Something of her thoughts must have mirrored on her face, because Taylor smirked and lifted her chin in victorious manner. "You're not going to cry now, are you?"

In slow motion Maya stood up. In her sixteen years she was already taller than most of her peers so it wasn't difficult for her to literally look down on her. Her face turned into stone as she took a breath to speak. "No," she said in calm voice. "I will not move over there. I will not cry because of you. And I definitely will not let you push me around. So, be so kind and get lost finally, the lesson's about to start any second and I would hate it if teacher had to admonish you for not being behind your desk."

"You probably don't know who I am."

"A week ago I might have been interested in knowing. But now I consider this stupidity beneath me. There are more important things than being favourite or hated...and if you're so silly to think being a queen of school and bullying will help you in your life, you're mistaken. Now, if you don't have anything else, anything _mature_, get the hell out of my sight."

The reaction was immediate. Taylor's eyes narrowed dangerously and her jaw clenched tightly. "You've just made yourself a dangerous enemy, Shepard," she hissed and turned around. Maya watched her walk to her desk with her head held high, and couldn't help but shake her head. This felt incredibly ridiculous to her, but somehow she lacked the desire to laugh. So she sat down wordlessly and pulled her new datapad from her school bag.

She smiled sadly when she turned it on. It was, of course, empty, without any entries or notes. Maya missed her old datapad. She'd had a file there with letters she and Tobias used to write to each other during lessons and noughts and crosses they had been playing during lunch. She missed the pictures they had been drawing together...it was Tobias's idea. He drew the first object, Maya the second, he the third...and in time they created the greatest masterpieces ever.

She was so drowned in her memories that she almost missed it when their English teacher, Mr. Bricks, walked in. It was a man in his forties with rich dark hair and sullen face who didn't pay his students a second glance. He quickly crossed the room and sat behind his desk and started checking the attendance, murmuring names under his breath.

He stopped however when he got to letter s. "Shepard..." Maya heard him mumble. "Shepard...Shepard...do we have any Shepard here?" he asked. "I don't remember any Shepard."

Reluctantly Maya cleared her throat and stood up. "That's because I'm new here, Mr. Bricks."

"Hm...yes, yes...I've heard the headmaster talking about new student...so it is you. Hm, Shepard, you have a strange accent. Where are you from?" he asked with a smile, oblivious to the discomfort this simple question stirred in the girl.

"Well," Maya started saying, trying her best to look casually, "I'm not from Canada, that's why my pronunciation is...eh...different."

"I see, I see...well, welcome then."

Maya nodded and sat down again, glad she'd successfully managed to dodge the question. It wasn't like she felt ashamed of her origin; she just wasn't ready for any reaction she might receive. She first needed to come to terms with everything herself and it would take much longer than a week.

The device in her hand vibrated slightly, demanding her attention. She quickly checked where Mr. Bricks focused his attention, before she hid her hand beneath the desk and activating her omnitool. The hologram lit her with orange light, but the teacher didn't seem to notice. Quickly, she accessed her messages, expecting to see John's name above the new one. He'd promised to write her after the surgery would be over to ensure her he was alright. The mailer, however, was unknown.

She frowned and opened the mail. It was short and rather baffling. She caught herself reading the message four times in a row. Her lips were moving wordlessly as her eyes slid from one word to other slowly, as if it could help her to finally find a meaning to it. "The three-headed dog is out for a hunt tonight and you might end up in its clutches. Be wary. The dead man."

She then remembered where she was and quickly lifted her head. Luckily for her, the teacher had started lecturing and paid little attention to anything or anyone in the room.

_The three-headed dog? Like the one from the myth? What was its name, anyway? Cer...cer...cer-something..._she mused while her eyes were travelling over her classmates. If anyone of them was behind this _joke_ they would be watching for her reaction, but none of them seemed interested in anything she was doing.

_Cerberus,_ she remembered finally. _Weird..._

_...  
_

A second after the film was over and only credits were now scrolling up the screen, Maya sighed and put away her earpiece with integrated translator. She wasn't used to having one of these, she'd never needed it before. And when John had wanted to buy her one, she tried to protest, but he was too persistent, saying sooner or later she'd need one to communicate with the rest of the galaxy.

But so far she'd been using it only while watching alien films, like now.

She turned her head to the left and looked at the violet sphere floating above the sofa next to her. "That was the most stupid film I've ever seen," she said to the drone. "We didn't have half as many channels back on Mindoir, but now I see I didn't actually miss anything important. I mean, come on, a time machine that can take you only fifteen minutes back? I'm never watching any salarian films," she decided.

Bright layers of the drone moved around the energetic body as if it wanted to actually respond, but instead of expressing an opinion it said: "No hostiles detected."

Maya sighed once again and shook her head. "I really must try to program you into both combat and social drone."

"No hostiles detected," was the answer, but this time that made her smile. It was so incredibly stupid, but she was glad she wasn't alone. Although seclusion was exactly what she had wanted, now when she had it she realized she liked having someone around. "Of course there aren't any hostiles, D," she addressed the floating orb. "This is Earth. We're safe here."

"Area secured."

"Exactly," she mumbled weakly and stood up from the sofa. The drone soundlessly followed her, levitating in the air behind her back, as she made her way to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and stuck her head in. She wasn't hungry. She just wanted to eat something while watching another film. But she was sure this time it would be human; she hated wearing that stupid translator.

With her head inside the appliance, she couldn't see the sudden change in her friend. The drone whirled around to face the door, the energetic layers quickly spinning around its body again as it was scanning surroundings of its owner. The person behind the door however showed no sings of aggression. "Area secured," it informed its owner.

"I know..." Maya muttered and, when the door bell rung, she turned after the sound questioningly. A knowing expression settled on her face a second later. She closed the fridge and headed to open the door.

"So…" she greeted the person behind it, scanning the man from head to toe carelessly, "you've won my dear brother's poll about the most trusted friend to babysit his little sister?" she asked in the sweetest of voices, but it was obvious she meant it as a scorn.

The man standing in the doorframe didn't seem to be taken aback by her approach. His lips perked up slightly as if completely expecting her reaction. In a slow motion he lifted his hand which was holding a half-full bag.

"What is it? An attempt to buy my fa..." she started, leaning forward to peek inside, but when she actually saw what it contained her tone changed completely: "…apples," she whispered softly, a ghost of a smile appearing on her lips. And when she lifted her eyes to the man, this time she actually paid attention to him. His olive skin hinted at exotic origin, somewhere around Eastern Europe maybe, and his hazel eyes were narrowed and smiling at Maya. "John has mentioned something about you liking them," he foresaw her question. "May I come in?"

All at once, Maya felt incredibly stupid. "Of course, Kaidan," she invited him in, stepping aside little bit. "John has told me something about you as well," she explained after he gave her a questioning look.

Kaidan nodded and walked into the kitchen to lay the bag on the desk. He didn't finish the motion however when he suddenly stood face to face with a levitating violet orb. He blinked in a surprise and made a step back exactly at the same moment the drone said: "No hostiles detected," and flew away to rest above the sofa as if ready to watch another film.  
Maya laughed. "Aw, you should see your face now. Don't worry, he won't hurt you."

Kaidan's eyes rested on the droid. "A combat drone?" he asked incredulously.

"I call him D," Maya specified and walked past Kaidan, taking the bag from his hands. She took a apple from it and cleaned it against her shirt before she took a bite.

"D?"

"D like drone," she tried to say as gracefully as she could with a mouth full of apple. She at least had enough decency to cover her mouth with her hand. "I don't have fantasy," she added as an explanation and swallowed. "Do you want a drink or something? I'm sure I've seen beer in the fridge," she pointed at the machine behind her back.

Kaidan shook his head, which was still turned towards the drone. He simply couldn't believe his eyes.

John had given Kaidan a warning – if you could use this word. She hadn't been excited about the idea of someone checking on her, which would, according to John, possibly result in a rather rude behaviour. He had to admit thought, he found the way she greeted him amusing. But the last thing he had expected to see was a military combat drone. "What is it doing here?" he asked and finally turned to Maya again. She was just biting her lip, smiling a strange lop-sided smile that made Kaidan want to know what she was thinking.

She shrugged, her face straight again. "We were watching films. I like to talk to someone while watching a film," she stated and used her fingers to comb her hair. Kaidan had met a lot of redheads in his life, but none had so bright hair like Maya. And she wasn't even all that pale, like gingers usually were. But she did have freckles. It became her. _John's sister..._ Kaidan reminded himself calmly. "Did you feel lonely?" he asked in a soft tone that turned his voice into sheer velvet. She didn't answer right away; she just smiled apologetically and pointed at her full mouth, chewing slowly.

To tell the truth, she was just trying to buy herself some time. The question surprised her. Did she feel lonely? She did. However if anyone asked the question she'd lie. Especially if it was John. Not because she wouldn't want him to know how she felt, but he seemed always so taken by everything concerning Maya. And she simply didn't want to make him feel guilty for leaving her alone. The surgery was important.

For a second she wondered why she hadn't said: No! But something in the way Kaidan asked the question...it wasn't just a way to keep on the conversation. He was interested. "Maybe a little," she admitted eventually. Or maybe she was afraid he'd see through the lie anyway by the way his eyes were bearing into hers. "On Mindoir I was used to being surrounded by people. Folks, friends...my best friend and I, we were inseparable," she added and looked at the apple in her hand, afraid if she didn't tear her eyes off now she would never. "I miss them," she heard her own voice and that surprised her to no end. She'd never talked about it to John, to her own brother, who was more than interested in her well-being and would spend hours listening to her if she'd only come to him. But now she'd opened up to a complete stranger.

_Maybe because John trusts him, _Maya thought. After all, he wouldn't have asked just _anyone_ to check on her. This Kaidan had to be somehow..._special. _

"That's understandable," Kaidan nodded. "I can't imagine how you feel after everything what..." he started saying and probably would continue if Maya's eyes hadn't stopped him. She lifted the two large emeralds to him and the expression he saw made him speechless. Nothing he could say or do would make the pain go away. There was so much of it. But just for a moment. It was gone so quickly Kaidan thought it was just his mind playing tricks on him.

Maya smiled. "Yeah, it was a hell, but it…it's been just nine days, but it already feels like it happened years ago. As if it wasn't me who was running through our field or lying under the trees," she shrugged, sending him another smile.

"No hostiles detected," the mechanical voice stated simply.

That made Maya's smile even broader. "He's not only watching films with me, he even talks to me."

"It must be a fruitful discussion," Kaidan played along, dropping the previous topic.

"It's not always so boring. Sometimes he says: area secured," Maya shrugged. "But I've been thinking about reprogramming him a little bit."

"Reprogramming?" Kaidan repeated, suddenly very interested in her. "You're into this kind of things?"

"Well," she laughed softly. "I'm no tech expert, far from it. But I know a thing or two about omnitools and their functions. The drones are a new thing for me, to tell the truth, so the outcomes of my tweaking would be rather…unsure, but I know I'll try. I could always use any already invented code that works great with other social drones and implement it into his coding to see what happens," she mused.

"That's an unusual hobby."

Maya shrugged and smiled softly. "It was a way to kill time. Living on Mindoir could be very boring sometimes. Often I was thinking about John and I envied him his freedom…where did you two meet by the way?"

"Jump Zero," Kaidan replied shortly. Maya noticed he had the same tone in his voice John often used when talking about his first biotic training. He'd never said anything about it to Maya, nor had her parents given anything away, but she really started to believe the experience had to be extreme.

"So you're a biotic," Maya stated, frowning a little bit. "So you must know a lot about it." He simply nodded and so she went on. "Tell me, the change of those implants from one generation to other, is it dangerous?"

Kaidan hesitated for a moment. His face, however, remained unreadable, so that Maya could only guess what he was thinking. "What has John told you?"

"That it's completely safe, but I have my doubts."

His face was still deadpan. "You think he would lie to you?"

"If he wanted to protect me in any way? He would," she nodded. "And I think he did. Tell me, he told me all that rubbish because he didn't want me to be worried, didn't he? After all, neural surgery is neural surgery. Especially if he has to travel halfway across the galaxy to get to the most expensive asari clinic there is."

Now Kaidan couldn't help, but chuckle. "That's pretty impressive. Maya."

She shrugged. "What can I say? This day was long and the extranet terminal is just over there," she tossed her head towards the machine.

"And how do you know which clinic he's chosen?"

This time her she bit her lip and for a second broke their eye contact. "As I said, I'm no tech expert, but I know a thing or two about omnitools and their functions."

"You hacked into his mailbox?"

"Yeah."

"Wait, you hacked into a secure military mailbox?" Kaidan asked, exhaling slowly. That wasn't something you'd see every day. Maya had to be really gifted.

"It did take me longer than usual, but yeah, piece of cake," she gave a half-shrug. "What about the surgery?"

"You...said it yourself. The most expensive clinic. They know what they are doing," was all Kaidan could say. He, of course, knew very well what exactly could go wrong, but wasn't keen on telling her. She'd already been through a lot, and describing all kinds of complications wouldn't make her feel any better. So instead, he made a baffled gesture, playing stupid. "John has entrusted himself to good hands."

He couldn't tell what she was thinking while she was silently watching him, her expression unreadable. Eventually she nodded. "Well, I guess when they live hundreds and hundreds of years with those abilities..." she let the rest of the sentence hang in the air. Somehow, Kaidan wasn't sure if she was merely agreeing with him, or trying to convince herself.

"Area secured," the orb said, its violet layers whirling around the shining body.

Maya smiled, turning her head to her friend. "I think D wants to see another film. What about you? Are you staying or..."

Kaidan stood up slowly, his eyes on the drone. "I should go," he said thoughtfully. "Unless you need anything."

She shook her head. "Nope, have everything."

"Alright, then...ah...see you later."

"Yeah, see you. And Kaidan? Next time, call me May. Friends call me May," she added with a soft smile and he responded in a kind. She watched him, until the door closed behind him and then turned to her drone. "He wasn't all that bad, was he?"

"No hostiles detected."

Maya laughed softly and moved to join D on the sofa, taking another bite of the apple. "Yep. I liked him too. Alright...next film..."

The sound of a door bell woke her up. The film had ended long time ago, the screen was black. Maya felt confused and lost in the dark room. _I had to fall asleep,_ she came to the only logical conclusion. She looked around. There was a weak violet light coming from the bathroom. She had no idea why D had moved to the bathroom. Before she could start chewing on it, the door bell rung again, more urgently than before. _What a crap, a door bell is a door bell, it's not urgent,_ she thought as she struggled to her feet.

She was almost at the door when she heard another sound. A sound she had already heard a few times before. A soft whirring. The same her omnitool made whenever...Her eyes went wide and a fear cut through her like only the sharpest of knives could when she realized what the sound meant; lock picking.

"Hostiles detected."

* * *

Yep. Cliffhanger. I'm evil, I know. Sue me.

Thanks for reading, everyone, and thanks so much for your fantastic reviews :) And I'm interested in one thing, are you okay with this long chapters? Or would you want me to divide it and add more shorter chapters at the same time?

To** wolf girl811: **No, I haven't forgotten about you. Iwould have answered much earlier, but you have disabled PM. So I'd like to thank you at least this way. I'm glad you found the story so much interesting and did all the faves and follows :)


	6. Shattered

Edit: Eh, few mistakes corrected, heh, sorry. Then, I published this chapter in quite a hurry, I had very little time and I wanted to put it here quicky and because of that I totally forgot to say that I'm grateful for all your reviews and tha I really enjoy reading your opinions and ideas for the story.

For all guests: **KK, Red, Lyv:** Thank you all so much for your kind words. As for your wish, I might consider it, though my notion was not to make Maya a biotic, since there are a lot of stories where the main protagonist is a biotic. It's not a promise, but I'll think about it :) And as for Kaidan, well, I wouldn't rush anything even if I wanted - I try to make (at least) Kaidan in-character (because Maya's mine, so I can make her whatever I like) and that simply wouldn't be Kaidan-like...hm...I'm sure you know what I mean :)

Dislcaimer: I don't own ME

* * *

The sun was shining through the window, but it still felt too cold against his face anyway. The air wasn't just fresh enough and the grass wasn't as green as it should be. Even trees were weird; different from those he'd been climbing all his life. And they'd started losing leaves. On Mindoir the trees were evergreen. And if a leaf or two did fall, it wasn't because of the winter coming.

"The sad look again?" a girl voice said. The small brunet sat down on the table he was sitting behind, swinging her feet. She had her hair in a firm ponytail, but the strands around her face were free, framing her face as if it was a picture. She wore a simple blue T-shirt and a skirt with black leggings underneath.

"You wouldn't understand, Kara," Tobias shook his head and looked away from her. Kara, his new stepsister. He's first stepsister, or even a sister for that matter. On Mindoir he'd been the only child. And would have given up his whole world just to have a sibling, but now he didn't care. Even though Kara was probably the sweetest stepsister ever. She was kind and always merry, always smiling, with a heart of gold. She treated him as if they had grown up together, as if they knew each other since the day they were born. And she hated when he was all gloomy and moody, and tried everything to lift his spirit. A ten-day ago, it might have worked. But now it wasn't what Tobias needed.

His new family lived in the countryside somewhere in a middle of USA, he wasn't really sure where it was on a map, nor did he care. The countryside was only an agonizing reminder of what he'd lost. And Kara and her always light-hearted nature were even worse; it reminded him of a person he hadn't lost, but would probably never see again.

He missed his colony. The small, calm place where everything worked in its own pace. He missed his family, thought his folks would have never won a "best parents ever" competition. They were distant and even though they cared about Tobias, they had problems showing it.

But what he missed most...May. He wanted to run through a field again, chasing _the sun_, the _fire_, the _life itself_ running and laughing merrily. He wanted to lie next to her again, to hold her hand, to pinch her side and elbow her ribs. Or to touch her cheek and run his fingers through the incredibly red hair.

"Tobias," Kara said softly, breaking his chain of thoughts. "I was orphan just like you," she whispered after Tobias turned his head to her again. "But I gave them a chance. Carol and Peter are great parents...foster parents…and they really are trying to make you feel better, but they are sad because you are sad and...it's like a vicious circle."

Tobias took his time before giving her a reply. He was still convinced she wouldn't understand. She thought he was missing his family, only his family. But his problem had a different name. "I'm not saying they aren't great," he admitted. "Hell, I say they are probably better than my real parents were," he added with a deep frown.

"Then smile finally. It's been ten days and I haven't seen you smile, not once. Do it for them," she pleaded him.

"There is no reason to smile," he said, his eyebrows still drawn together.

She bit her lip, almost in the same manner _she_ had done it, but May always looked so cute and mischievous at the same time doing it, Kara just looked...lost. "Mindoir is gone, I understand. But you are alive. You have to go on. Come on..." she reached out her hand to him, "let's go outside. To the lake. It's quite a walk, but you'll come to different thoughts. You'll feel better. Come now, you and I and Hyper. I'm sure once you see him try to catch a fish, you'll start laughing and laughter is the best medicine."

Even thought the image of their clumsy Husky fishing was tempting, at first Tobias wanted to reject her offer. But then he realized he was acting like a baby. He should be grateful. He was outside, somewhere warm with nice people around. Maya was probably in the middle of a busy city, feeing lost and alone. "Aright," he said eventually, taking her hand and helping her off the table.

Maybe it would really make him feel better. And it might make him feel even worse. All the memories he had. And memories couldn't help him, couldn't make the pain go away. It could just…postpone it.

There had been a lake behind the colony as well. The water was always warm and so incredibly crystalline you could see the stony bottom and all those water plants peeking out from between those stones and pebbles. Maya used to love the lake. Often they used to go there and bath and frolic in the water, especially in summer. Tobias loved those moments. He used to watch her when she stripped to her swimsuit she had under her clothes, and slowly walked to the water. Tobias' eyes were climbing up her legs and body together with the water surface before she disappeared under it. And then she would appear again with a large spray of water from her hair. Her beautiful hair...it always darkened when damp and it reminded him of a ruby. She was like a gem, a precious and the rarest gem ever.

"Fantastic! I'll go get Hyper, meet me in front of the house," she laughed and run ahead.

"Yeah, it'll be great," Tobias murmured, and would have followed her if he hadn't heard a certain name from a kitchen. The curiosity got the better of him and he soon found himself standing in the kitchen with Carol and Peter. Both his foster parents had dark hair, but Carol had black eyes and Peter grey. They were both sun-bathed and both were smiling when they noticed their new son in the door frame.

"What were you saying about John Shepard?" he asked instead of saying hi. "Someone's broken into his flat in Vancouver?"

Carol looked at her husband and took a sip of a tea she was holding. Peter nodded. "Well, yes. It happened last night. It's terrible that even the hero of Earth can't be spared...he must be shattered."

"Sh-shattered?" Tobias stuttered and suddenly he had to lay his hand on the door for support. He had a bad feeling about it. "It was just a flat, why would he..."

"Well, it's not about his flat. The Alliance tried to sweep it under the carpet, but they found a dead body inside. They've refused to give any details, but Shepard's neighbours say he was living with his sister."

"Which is weird. I've never heard about his sister before," Carol added her voice as well.

And even thought Tobias was sure Peter replied, whatever it was he said didn't reach him. He felt numb, dead, limp, as if his life now lost all meaning. Maya was dead.

Not his family, not Mindoir...but this shattered Tobias's word into pieces.

...

_Pour soul,_ Jereth thought sadly when he carefully laid her limp arm next to her side. He took a pad and pressed it to the spot where the needle pierced her skin, absorbing her blood.

"Are you sure she's going to sleep all the way to Omega?" Adam spat angrily. Jereth wasn't surprised he was so pissed off. He'd expected everything to go smoothly. Instead Robert ended up dead when that drone surprised them, the stunner and the assault rifle got destroyed and she nearly stabbed him with an omni-blade. _"Where the fuck she got that thing?!"_ Adam had screamed after it, smashing her omnitool against the wall. Fortunately it didn't break the device. And Adam could call himself lucky. He managed to dodge her hand at the last moment, so she only scratched his side instead of making a hole into his stomach. Anyway the wound was quite deep and he had to be in great pain whenever he moved.

Jereth had been angry as well, though not because of the drone - a single, well aimed overload was enough to despawn it again – but because of Robert. He might have survived if given immediate first help, but Adam's order was clear. _"He's as good as dead, leave him!"_

_A true soldier never leaves anyone behind,_ Jereth thought darkly, a small flame of anger kindled inside him again as he lifted the pad from her arm. That was Shepard's influence, his teaching. If the humanity wanted to be strong in eyes of the galaxy, people had to stand together and fight united. They had to show other races they weren't pushovers, but as disciplined as Turians, as graceful as Asari, as astute as Salarians and as strong as Krogans. But in Cerberus' book, humanity was already better than any other species and it was alright to sacrifice an individual for the sake of thousands.

"She's going to sleep as long as necessary," Jereth finally answered curtly when he applied a plaster to the little needle mark.

After that he heard Adam's heavy steps and muttered curses leave the room, leaving him and the girl alone. With emotionless expression, suspecting his every motion was being watched anyway, he moved to strap the girl into the stretcher; the way to the spaceport was long and he seriously doubted skills of that driver.

He had been wrong in one thing though. This girl didn't need protection. Instead of finding her in tears, curled on the floor, helpless and paralyzed with fear, as Jereth had expected, she was ready for them. And when Adam stepped over Ro- _the corpse,_ he reminded himself – she lunged at him, her arm enveloped in orange light. If Adam hadn't carried an assault rifle, he would have been severely hurt. After all, it was no secret omni-blades were so hot that tiny mass effect fields had to sustain the blade to protect the owner's arm from the heat; the rifle – cut into two – was the proof.

One of the halves, however, stayed in Adam's hands and the metal quickly found its way towards her face, knocking her on the floor.

Leaning over her to reach for the straps Jereth turned his head to examine her face. The bruise was shining from her cheek, getting darker every minute, and Jereth was sure once she'd wake up it would be incredibly painful, especially because she lost a tooth.

_But it mustn't stop you when they open your container to change the cylinders,_ he thought while he, as discreetly as he could, slipped a little something into a pocket of her trousers. Then he straightened and tightened the straps.

...

It was as if the nightmare never ended. Like it was still there, tormenting him, trying to break him. He knew he should be hurting. He knew he should feel so much pain, but instead he felt empty. There were sounds around him, perceptions begging to be sensed, but be couldn't. Living was just too difficult. Even breathing seemed more complex than a minute ago. It wasn't just like sucking in the air, then exhaling again. It felt like running an impossibly long distance. Like someone was holding their hands around his neck, slowly choking him to death, but never really squeezing.

And here Tobias had thought his situation was bad. But at least Maya had been alive. She was living somewhere, maybe happy, maybe not, but she was alive. There was still a chance they might see each other again one day. Almost zero chance, but still a chance. But the hope had been buried deep under the cold ground now. _Not yet_, Tobias thought. _They couldn't have buried her body that quickly. She must still lie in the morgue._

Maya was dead. Maya Shepard was dead. His May was…gone.

...

That was the longest five hours in Katherine's whole life. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't work, she couldn't do anything. She couldn't even stay in the hotel room. The Asari receptionist probably thought her crazy, waiting inside the clinic while the surgery was being done, but she couldn't help it. Unlike Maya who knew nothing about the surgery's true nature, she was very well aware of all risks and complications and possible outcomes if anything would go wrong. She knew her presence would change nothing, but she felt better knowing John was just several levels above her.

She knew the surgery would take several hours, after all it wasn't a mere change of biotic amplifiers. But whenever she looked at the huge digital watch above the Asari, she felt like the time was slowing down with every second.

Not to mention the hours were much longer. A Galactic Standard Day took only twenty hours, but those hours were longer than what she was used to back on Earth.

But all the waiting was worth it when John, in company of two tall, unearthly beautiful Asari, walked into the reception. He seemed tired, but generally alright, though when she raced to him and wanted to embrace him, he backed cautiously and stopped her at his arm's length.

"Does it hurt?" she asked him with deep concern in her voice.

"It's not painful, just a..." he took a breath to buy some time while he was searching for the right word, "...overwhelming."

"So was your display," one of the two Asari said, her gorgeous face lit with a bright smile. And Katherine noticed she had green eyes. Katherine realized she started hating green eyes, for apparent reasons. And if the Asari had any hair, and it was ginger, she would have killed her for the way she smiled at her John. "What display?" she asked with a forced smile.

It was the other Asari that gave her the answer. "In order to make sure the new implants were working properly Mr. Shepard had to undertake several tests on his biotic abilities. I've never seen such a strong human before," she added, narrowing her cat-like eyes at him.

"Years of practice," John said curtly, very well aware of the Katherine's worsening mood. She seemed to be extremely jealous of him lately and he simply couldn't understand why. Actually, he could. He used to spend much more of his time with Katherine, but now he had to divide it between her and his sister. And Maya needed help now. That was what he couldn't fathom – Katherine had to know how sensitive May now was, but instead of showing sympathy and patience, she started behaving strangely. She acted as if something was seriously eating her, was short-tempered and she often ignored May as if she wasn't even there…which wasn't all that difficult, considering his little sister had been very quiet and introverted except for the previous day.

_Only_, which John realized just now, _two days ago she was all sweet and nice again…_

They had argued about her strange behaviour on heir way to the Citadel. And Katherine at least admitted the way she'd forced him to tell her was…not fair.

And now again.

"Of course," the Asari answered. "Well, it was pleasure to meet you, John Shepard. If you had any problems regarding your new implants, don't hesitate and contact us. Immediately."

Katherine waited until the two Asari were finally out of their earshot, before she spoke up again. "How are you feeling?" she asked with worries written all over her features. John could tell she wanted nothing more than to touch him, to _feel_ he was really there, safe and sound. John was glad she didn't do it however. Every part of his body that used to contain a part of the old implants was hurting him and the back of his head was the worst. "I'm alright," he said to calm her down. After all, he would be alright, no permanent damage.

"Are you sure? You look…"

"…hungry," he cut her off. "How about going to the Wards?" he offered. He knew by admitting this he'd make her forget her fears and focus on the new problem. And his plan worked. She smiled. "That's a fantastic idea. And then we can head beck to the hotel and you can have your rest…you look tired," she finished what she'd wanted to say before he interrupted her.

John wanted to oppose her that he felt fine, but instead he simply wrapped his arm around her waist and lead her to the exit from the clinic. "And now we have two days of doing…nothing."

"Sounds good," she purred by his side. "Are you glad it's over?"

"What is over?"

"All the problems. With your implants, you know?" she said patiently. "I know I am. I'll never forget the day they had to hospitalize you," she complained, when they were outside on the street.

The clinic was situated in the better part of the Citadel, the upper level, so that when she lifted her head up, she could see lights from other five arms of the Citadel station. There was no artificial sky like in the Presidium, so nothing obscured the view. And it created a perfect illusion of an endless night.

Many citizens of the Citadel liked it as well. They profited on people coming and going, enjoying few days off their regular lives, just like Katherine and John right now. The Citadel was a home to thirteen million inhabitants and the number was still growing slowly. When humanity joined the galactic society and built their own Embassy in the Presidium, they were trying to spread their influence there, starting with humans working and living on the Citadel. There were more of them here each day, and Katherine was pleased by this development.

"Yeah, that was a little bit extreme," John said eventually, already reaching to rub the back of his neck. But he changed his mind quickly, realizing the amp jack at the nape of his neck wouldn't probably like the touch right now.

"Extreme," Katherine sighed. "You nearly died."

"I did not," he protested.

"Yes you did, John. I talked to the doctor. He said you were the luckiest person in the universe at the moment."

This time, John stopped and when Katherine looked at him with questions in her eyes as for why they were stopping, he used the opportunity to kiss her lightly on her lips. "That was because you came to visit me," he whispered against her mouth and kissed her once again before pulling away to look her in the eyes.

And Katherine felt her anger was melting away like a spring snow. "You're impossible," she said with a soft smile.

"As long as you love it…"

Katherine laughed softly and rested her head on his shoulder gently. And when he didn't push her away this time, she lifted her arms and put them around his waist. "I'm glad you're alright, John. Now we may finally enjoy each other," she whispered against the crook of his neck.

"May…" John mumbled thoughtfully. Katherine pulled away from him to look at him when she felt the change of mood. "What are you doing?" she asked, watching him pull his omnitool from his pocket.

"I've promised May I'd write her when…what?" his voice nearly dropped to a growled when he caught her rolling her eyes. "She didn't buy it, you know? She's not stupid. She knew I was lying and so she was worried. Just like you. I bet she's at school now, hypnotizing her omnitool instead of paying attention to her teacher."

The atmosphere was suddenly much colder when Katherine stepped away from him, crossing her arms over her chest. "If you must…"

"Katherine, I'd really appreciate if you finally reflected she's been…"

"…through a hell, yeah, I've heard you before. I said: write her if you must."

John let his arms fall to his sides when he fixed Katherine with a glare. "Why are you like that? She is my sister," he stated. He wanted to add: And has no one else on this world, but Katherine spoke up first: "And me? I'm your girlfriend, John, has been for more than a year now. As long as I remember, two weeks ago you didn't give a damn about your family."

"Did you…just said what I think you did?" John asked silently. "If you haven't noticed, Maya has witnessed her homeworld being destroyed, her…our parents are dead, she had no place else to go, no one else who'd take care of her."

"I get it, John. I'm not heartless," she, once again, interrupted him, and threw her arms in the air. "But why do you have to place her above me constantly?"

"I don't…"

"Yes, you do! Ever since she's arrived it's: Maya here, Maya there…I'm sick of it, John! I'm not angry she's living with us, but…"

"Then stop this madness," John whispered and even thought his face was calm, she knew he was furious. She could tell by the way a blue aura shimmered around him for a second when he spoke. "Stop this stupid jealousy, Katherine. It's not necessary. So stop it before you say something you would later regret."

"Me? Oh, right! So I'm the bad guy now?"

"What? No! What…hell, Katherine, what's wrong with you? You've started blaming me for focusing my attention solely on May, yet I've nearly forgotten about her. And I just wanted to write her a message, that's not such a big deal, yet you're raging here like a spoiled child!"

"You don't want me to start behaving like a spoiled child, John, believe me."

A dark shadow crossed his face. "I do believe you," he said and turned around, walking away.

"John? John, stop it. John, turn around. Don't you dare walk out on me, John Shepard! You…! You've formed an attachment to her in your foolish attempt to make up for the time you weren't together, but if you haven't noticed, she doesn't care! I tell you, when she turns eighteen she's going to disappear from your life forever and roam the galaxy and end up god knows where like a lost existence she's become since Mindoir! If she's going to live that long!" she screamed almost hysterically. Even thought she didn't know the exact nature of Adam's plan, she suspected when they needed John away, they'd do something to her. Maybe they wouldn't exactly kill her, but in her anger she just couldn't help herself.

And John stopped suddenly. She took a slow breath, thinking her words caused his sudden change of mind. She felt the familiar fear get a hold of her after she realized what she'd just said, but when he turned around, she saw his omnitool was on. The anger from his eyes was gone, and something else had replaced it. "John?" she whispered, a hand clutching tightly at her stomach all at once.

"A message. High alert. From Kaidan…"

...

Another nightmare. It was just another nightmare. It had to be. It couldn't be real.

It was the same back in the bunker on Mindoir. She'd felt tired, but the pain in her leg just kept on forcing its way into her mind, not allowing her to fall asleep. So she just sat there, on the cold floor, surrounded by muffled sobs and silent whispers. But it still could have been a dream. Unless she'd opened her eyes and see the reality, it could be a dream.

Her head was killing her and she could taste blood in her mouth. She had something over her mouth and nose, a breathing mask probably, and it was just multiplying the pain, not to mention she was missing a tooth. She felt tired, exhausted and numb; when she wanted to move a finger, it was like her body refused to obey her. But her mind was racing.

Despite how quickly it had happened, the memory of the evening was painfully burnt into her mind. Every detail, each sound and word. She could remember it all.

_Thousands thoughts flashed through her mind while she was staring at the door, listening to the soft whirring. The drone was there as well, waiting for them behind the door, ready to send its first burst as a welcome._

_And at this moment she heard the voice. _There are just two ways you can react – run and hide, or attack. _But there was no place to hide, no escape. She was trapped._

_As if her legs weren't hers anymore, they moved on their own accord, leading her to hide behind the corner, so that she would surprise them, her left hand wrapped around the omnitool tightly. The door to her left, so that she could hear them. For a moment she considered turning the lights on, but the voice forbid it immediately. _No! There are motion sensors on the corridor – they would be coming from the light into the dark. They will be blind._ She was surprised by the cold-headed way she was thinking. _Use it! Put something in their way, they might stumble over it!

_She wanted to move, but a soft clack froze her to her place. They had unlocked the console. She even stopped breathing. She could feel the tears in her eyes and the way her hands were shaking, but she didn't allow herself to make the slightest sound when she put the omni-tool from her left hand to her right; since she could use both her hands equally, it didn't really matter, but with them coming from the left, it would be easier to attack this way._

_The door opened and the hell begun._

She had no idea where she was. Finally she decided knowing the reality was more important then keeping herself deluded into believing in something which she knew wasn't true, and opened her eyes. But saw nothing. Wherever she was, it was dark. She was lying on something hard. She moved slowly. Although she tried to ignore the pain, it felt like half of her head was gone and her hand wanted to convince her brain the head was still intact. But when it tried to reach up, it hit a wall. _What? Where am I?, _the thought echoed through her mind again, as she started exploring her surroundings. Whatever this place was, it was made just for a person to fit in. _Am I in some kind of a box?_, she thought.

She moved her legs too, to find out if there was more space or not. There wasn't, but the move made her realize something was in her pocket. It was small and light, but she could feel it anyway.

_That's an omnitool!_ She realized after touching the object and playing with it a in her palm. If it was her omnitool, she had no idea.

_But…how? _Now her memories started to get a little…confusing.

_The fire faded away, only the silence filled the room now. It and hard breathing. Then steps. Quickly coming closer. She clenched her teeth and when the voice commanded her: _Go!_, she lunged at the person, the omni-blade ready and deadly._

_There was a sharp sound, the man suck in the air quickly, his eyes widening; she would never forget the blue and grey eyes. Her left hand was still moving forward with both incredible speed and agonizing slowness, but suddenly, it flew to the side, dodged, leaving her front open. And then the shadow hit her, hard, and she fell. She heard her voice screaming loudly, and when she hit the floor everything went blur. However, before the darkness took her, she felt a touch on her hand and suddenly her omnitool was gone._

She freed her hand from the pocket and activated the device. The usually dim orange light was now shining like a star and it finally showed her how the prison exactly looked like. It was like she thought; a box of a sort. _Or a coffin…_ she added inwardly and immediately wanted to slap herself for it, if her head wasn't already killing her, and she could lift her arm. _No negative thoughts. _The mask on her face was indeed a breathing mask, and the reason her legs had so little space were two metal bottles with a large letter O and a smaller number 2. _Oxygen. The guys weren't burglars. Their equipment was far too fancy for that, _the clever voice started whispering again. _Armours with kinetic barriers, rifles…no, they weren't there to just steal something. They came for me, whatever the reason. And they apparently need me alive. The oxygen proves it._

Even though her situation was still grave, that thought managed to calm her down a little. Even though she wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and cry and scream and die, she couldn't afford such behaviour just now. She needed to find a way out. But before she could actually start thinking of what to do she felt her prison started moving. The motion was fluent and slow, as far as she could tell, and then, after what seemed like several hours, it stopped with a sharp tug.

And Maya waited, all thoughts of finding a way out were gone. She heard noises somewhere above herself, steel on steel clanking. And after few seconds she could hear much more; voices. They were muffled and she couldn't make out any words. The metallic sounds were much louder and at some point the ceiling above her moved and white light started coming through along the edges. She quickly turned off her omnitool and wanted to hide it in her pocket, but her hand refused to move that quickly, so she at least wrapped her fingers around the device. And she closed her eyes.

"Slowly…slowly…up, up…that's it. Put it away. You, check her vitals, now. You, contact our people in spaceport 4, tell them we won't make it on time. And then find out why the hell we don't have the oxygen cylinders yet! They should have been here ready to be used when we arrived!" the voice was screaming on an on, barking commands all around.

Suddenly someone was above her, she could feel a warm hand touching her forehead at first, then checking her radial pulse. "Maya, listen to me," a soft voice started whispering just next to her left ear. "I'm going to give you an IV injection now." The hand took her arm and then she felt a pinch as the needle pierced her skin. "It should enable you to use your muscles properly again, but it will take a few minutes. When…"

"Jereth! What's taking you so long up there?"

"Making sure your _solution_ is alive, Adam. Her breath is shallow, but steady, as it should be. And the pulse is tangible."

"She better be alive. If not, you're a dead man," the other voice growled angrily.

"That fate's been already sealed – dead man is my second name now," Jereth murmured, but Maya could hear him. And the innocent statement made her eyes fly open. She saw a man above her around his late thirties with stubble on his face. His black eyes seemed sad and he had a thin scar over his left cheek. "Shh…" he whispered and put his finger over his mouth. "Exits are guarded, find another way out. Get to the Presidium. Human Embassy. Find help. Trust no one," the man said quickly and then disappeared again, jumping over the wall. Now it looked like she was in some kind of a container.

The voices, steps and all the commotion faded away after a while, gone to get new oxygen cylinders if she understood correctly, but something was telling her she wasn't alone. From time to time she tried to lift her hand to put off the mask, but when she actually managed it, she had no idea what to do next. What if she really wasn't alone? And what if they were watching the container? What if they would see her?

_Think, you stupid!_, she upbraided herself before the panic would cloud her mind. _They think you're sleeping…why would they be watching a container with a sleeping girl? _

Carefully and as quietly as she could she sat up. Her head was still safely behind the container's walls. She waited a few seconds, breathing deeply to calm down, before she finally dared to look over the edge. She quickly hid again, waiting if someone had noticed, but when she heard no voices she peeked outside again.

She was in a storehouse, as far as she could tell. There were hundreds and hundreds boxes and containers piled up everywhere, of different shape and size. Above her she saw a huge crane for moving those containers from one place to another. And, which made her blood froze in her veins, she saw someone leaning against one of the containers not far away. At first she wanted to hide again, then she noticed the man, dressed in armour of black and white colour with a yellow smudge on a sleeve, had his head bent down and was tapping his hand against his leg as if he was listening to a music Maya couldn't hear.

Holding her breath she fisted her hand and knocked lightly on her container. The man didn't move. She knocked a little louder. No reaction. _Yes!_, she thought victoriously, and smiled…then she winced and hissed in pain. Her hand flew to her cheek. She could feel dried blood under her fingers.

After the pain faded away, she carefully slid one leg over the edge, then the other until she was sitting on the container, her back to the man. Then she pushed and fell down on the crate under her. Her shoes made a loud noise when they made a contact with the metal crate, but when she heard no answer from her _guard_, she straightened behind the container and looked around.

She knew all exits would be guarded, Jereth had told her so. She noticed the containers were piled so high, they could take her up to the vent shaft. Quickly, she checked the omnitool in her hand, glad to find it hers – omni-blade would have no problems cutting through the material.

After what seemed like an incredibly absurd and dangerous PE, Maya found herself just under the ventilation. She activated her omnitool and used it to materialize the silicon-carbide omni-blade around her arm. Carefully, not to make much noise, she slid the weapon's razor sharp and edge into the ventilation shaft and and cut a hole into it, just big enough for her to fit in. She pushed the _lid_ up and slid it inside the ventilation. She scrambled up and as quickly as she could on her hands and knees, started crawling away.

The ventilator shaft stretched as a narrow passageway far away, its end was disappearing into darkness, it had dozens of crossroads and soon she was absolutely lost in the maze. She had no idea which way she came, not that she cared anyway, and which way to go now. But she was safe, and that was important. And when she realized that little fact, she stopped and allowed herself to collapse on the cool bottom of the shaft, her hands and knees aching.

She wanted to scream, to cry, to kick to…to…to let it all out, but when she was lying on the bottom, the metal cool against her cheek, she found she lacked the strength for any of that. She was just staring into the darkness in front of her, motionless. Her head was empty. All she could think about was: why. _Why me? Why does it always happen to me? Why me? _

And her situation grew even worse when she remembered Jereth's advice. Presidium? Human Embassy? _Human?_ Meaning she wasn't on Earth anymore. _No! Don't panic!_ Quickly, she freed her left hand from beneath her body and turned on the omnitool. But when she tried to access its memory to find John's extranet e-mail address or serial number so that she could contact him and ask for his help, to tell him everything and beg him to come for her, she found out it had been erased. It was empty, and, when she tried to at least access the Extranet to sent him a message, the omnitool was unable to connect for some reason.

Only at the moment the tears finally started flowing. And before she started choking on her sobs, she sighed: "John…"

...

"John?" Katherine asked breathlessly.

"May's gone. She's…been kidnapped."

"What?!" _Adam…no, you fool. That is your plan?!_

"I…I must return to Earth. Now."

"But, wait!" she quickly darted forward, trying to catch him after he'd already turned around. "How do you want to get there? Ships have their schedule! And the journey would take hours!_"_

"My name rings a lot of bells, Katy. I'm certain someone from the Embassy will help me," he said, stopping and turning back to her. "But you're right…and she can be anywhere right now. She doesn't even have to be on Earth anymore…" Katherine almost jumped when John startled her by grasping both of her arms tightly. "Please, let's forget what just happened, go to the hotel, pack our things and meet me at the Embassy. The Alliance may already know a clue to where she might be and I _must_ know it. Please, hurry…" After that he spun around quickly, making his way towards the closest single-track railway station. His destination: Presidium.

* * *

To be continued, thanks for reading :)


	7. A change of heart

Disclaimer: I don't own ME

* * *

"Half an hour, half an hour, half an hour," Adam was muttering impatiently, walking to and fro in the storage rented by Cerberus. Often he lifted his hand to check his watch only to let it fall to his side with an unsatisfied grunt. The delivery of the new oxygen containers had been delayed due to the bad state of the speeder, but Adam's strict logic simply refused to accept it. Too many things had already gone wrong, and this was just _too much_ for a mere coincidence.

However there was nothing he could do until the speeder would arrive. The thing was Adam wasn't a very patient man. Usually he was used to get things he wanted and so his suspicion that the speeder's engine had been tampered with was gnawing away at him now, while he was waiting. He knew Cerberus always paid much attention to their agent's equipment knowing it was usually what decided the mission's outcome. There was simply no way the engine could have broken down on its own.

But who could have arranged something like that? Except for him, only two other persons knew details about his plan. One of them was dead and the other had gone to help repair the speeder, how convenient. But he had no proof and to simply accuse one of his colleagues of treason was serious. Not to say Jereth had been a good operative so far. The Illusive Man wouldn't have put him in the head of his scientific cell without a good reason.

He checked the watch again. Twenty minutes until Jereth would arrive. And Adam would take a special care examining the speeder. They had already been delayed; few more minutes spent scanning the speeder didn't really matter.

_If_ he'd arrive.

"Stop the pacing, Evans, it won't speed them up," said another Cerberus operative, who'd been entrusted with the oh-so-incredibly difficult job guarding the girl. Adam wasn't even sure what his name was. It was an unimportant figure, a pawn, a needed supportive force.

"Keep on listening to those stupid songs of yours and leave me alone," he snapped as a reply, turning towards the man. He was a rookie, newly joined member of their secret organization, but he had determination. And he was ignorant. He had no idea how Cerberus worked. Failure wasn't an option, and so far this particular operation hadn't seemed very successful.

First that stupid drone. After Jereth had opened the door, Robert moved to run inside, armed with nothing but a stunner, since they needed the girl alive. The only real weapon they had was the assault rifle Adam carried, in case someone needed to be silenced. After all, the girl was supposed to vanish without any tracks.

But instead of a clear path, a deadly firework welcomed them and Adam could hear the bullets swiftly dancing their deadly dance in the air around him. He was right behind Robert and, luckily for him, he managed to duck quickly. Robert crumpled on the floor as well just as Jereth sent a bright blue orb over their heads. When it hit the drone, static electricity sparkling all around was all that was left of it.

Adam got up quickly, turning his head to look over his shoulder to check if the commotion drew any neighbour's attention, but all doors remained closed, luckily for _them_. Jereth moved to kneel beside Robert and quickly examined what little was left of his chest and stomach. The intense firing quickly collapsed Robert's kinetic barrier and done its job. Robert was still alive though, but they had no time to take care of him. They had to grab the girl and get out as soon as possible._ "He's as good as dead!"_ he'd shouted at Jereth who'd already moved to the _corpse's_ side. "Leave him!_"_

Stepping over the body, Adam walked inside a very small room. He didn't have the time to actually look around when he noticed a sudden move from his right. A light shaped into something dangerously similar to a military omni-blade was quickly moving towards him. His instincts ordered him to shoot so he lifted the rifle. The blade cut through it effortlessly. It took half a heartbeat, but Adam realized there was nothing that could stop the blade itself from cutting him into two, but the hand holding it was defenceless. He could still remember the way the incredibly green eyes widened when he lifted what little remained of the rifle. A hot, blinding pain shot through his side. Nevertheless it was _her_ voice that started screaming,_ her_ body falling to the floor.

"Where the fuck she got that thing?!" he growled, his hand clutching to the side as if it could stop the blood, hot and sticky against his palm, from running down his hip, drenching his clothes. The adrenaline and anger, however, helped him ignore the pain until he'd have his little vengeance by throwing that goddamned omnitool against the wall. It didn't shatter to pieces, like Adam had wanted, but the crack that followed was satisfying enough.

By the time the girl was unconscious and Jereth hurried to pick her up. Adam hadn't thought of it before, but now he realized when Jereth had gathered her in his arms, he was tender and careful not to hurt her. And the way he was tending her after they had boarded the ship, the gentle touches..._he was sorry for the girl,_ Adam thought and ground his teeth.

But what would he accomplish by delaying the delivery? Why did he want to prolong their stay on the Citadel? What was he after?

_"She's going to sleep as long as necessary."_

A strange reply indeed. Instead of simple yes or no, he'd given a vague answer that could mean practically anything.

Adam's eyes turned towards the opened container. Something - and it definitely wasn't anything good – tugged at the back of his mind and his legs started heading towards her prison. With clenched teeth he tried to ignore his hurt side, considering pain just another form of an obstacle that needed to be overcome, not succumbed to.

The other agent was watching him with interest as he climbed up to look inside the container. He cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes. He couldn't miss the weird stiffness of his movements, like he was hurt or something. Whatever it was, however, was never showed on his face. It was calm and emotionless. Somehow, the deadpan expression even deepened – if it was even possible – when his head popped up above the container. The man's eyes, grey and blue and as cold as ice, were staring at one place, unmoving for a long time. The operative gave a lopsided smile, pondering what exactly fascinated Adam about the sleeping girl so much.

"You were guarding her, right?" the elder man's voice split the silence. And the agent nodded. "Yep, was here all the time," he said proudly.

"Hm..." Adam nodded and hopped off the metal crate, his face finally twisting in the blinding pain. Taking a deep breath, he closed the distance between the two of them. "Boring shift, wasn't it?" he asked, his voice strained as he was fighting the pain.

"Not at all," the operative responded promptly. "I was listening to music, you know, and playing with my baby," he added and unholstered his pistol, patting it fondly.

Adam's eyes narrowed slightly when he smiled. "Nice piece," he mumbled appreciatively. "Can I have a better look? Modified, isn't it?" he added with pretended curiosity.

"Yep. I take my duties responsibly and that means my gear has to be in the best shape," the poor fellow replied, putting it in Adam's hands. He lowered his eyes at the gun, turning it a few times in his hands, examining it. It was a Harpy, standard gear of all Cerberus operatives, but this one had an upgraded magazine and felt much lighter in his palm. "That's a great approach," Adam appraised the young operative, tentatively bringing the pistol up, looking through its sights. "I'll make sure the Illusive Man himself hears about your...accountability."

"Really? You would tell him?"

"Oh yes, I will. The pistol's good," he stated. "I'm keeping it," he added and moved. The young man's eyes widened just a second before two quick shots echoed through the empty storehouse.

"Jereth, you're next..." Adam hissed, heading to the exit.

...

Nothing ever lasted forever, and Katherine was now again reminded of the fleetingness of the world around her. Not long ago everything around her was bright and optimistic, now it was as if the whole universe turned grim and dark, just like her mood. It was difficult to think straight. She was fighting her inner self fiercely, but despite everything, she still had no idea what to do. She loved John with all her heart. She'd never hurt him, not intentionally, and she only wanted what was good for him. But what if it meant to hurt him? What if only by causing him pain she could make him see the right path for him?

She didn't want it, but she was too much of a coward to risk Adam's - and _his_ – wrath if she decided to betray _them_. It was already too late for a change of heart and she knew it.

Damn, she didn't even want to actually hurt _Maya_. Not really. The girl had never done anything to her. All she wanted was to make him see Katherine was here first. She just wanted him to acknowledge she couldn't live without him and how desperately she longed after his attention. How she wanted everything to be the way it used to, the two of them, together. She wanted the trips again, travelling across the universe whenever John's active military service allowed it, she wanted to be in his arms watching a film, or to simply go for a walk with him, hand in hand, fingers intertwined.

She just wanted him to realize she was there for him for four years now, starting back on Gagarin station.

She was eighteen. She'd joined Cerberus not long before and this was her first assignment. She was proud of being part of the organization, though she had no particular reason for joining. She was simply attracted by the vision to protect humanity's best interest. She felt the need to protect it at the time and so she found herself on Jump Zero, unbeknown that this mission would change her life forever.

She was no expert, but she knew enough about human physiology to be sent to oversee and help with the biotic program. She wasn't really important, her role was to observe unnoticed, to get lost among the Alliance workers. Even back then was Cerberus highly interested in human biotics and she was there to find prospective recruits. Eventually she found much more.

John Shepard. Quiet young man, her peer, who kept his thoughts to himself. At first she ignored him. Some colony kid – kid...he was eighteen at the time as well – who had been lucky not to die of cancer or something, like tens other children who'd been exposed to. She wasn't sure if she had ever talked to him until _the day_. She was in a lab when her colleague came with the new data collected from each biotic's amp jack at the back of their heads. The young man's incredible potential made her forward his name on her list. This was how the _witch hunt_ actually started; she was ordered to be always near to him, close enough to watch and monitor his progress.

Her mission was cancelled when BaAT had to be shut down due to the turian's demise. Two and a half years ago. And her role changed. No intel was needed. John Shepard was needed. And she was supposed to convince him. Instead, she ended up head over heels in love with him. And that was the worst that could happen. That was the reason she felt so cornered now, the reason she found herself in an impasse.

But it was too late now. And so, instead of hurrying straight to the hotel as John had asked her, her steps were heading somewhere else. Adam had told her about a certain container and that he needed to smuggle it via the Citadel; now she finally knew why. And there was only one place he'd use for hiding such a precious cargo. Cerberus storehouse in lower levels of the Citadel.

She hated it, but she had to tell him John had found out. She only hoped he would be already gone, on his way to Omega, when she'd arrive. That would mean no one would catch them with the girl and that she wouldn't have to worry about it. However, in a case he wouldn't _yet_ be there, she could always tell the guards to pass her message on, or tell him herself if she happened to meet him there. But she had to warn him.

...

And here Maya thought Vancouver was crazy, but it was nothing in comparison with this place, wherever it was. Everything was so foreign to her, buildings, streets, flash lights in strange symbols instead of writings, the atmosphere and most of all: the citizens. She'd never seen any alien with her own eyes before.

When she had finally got out of the ventilation she found herself standing in a wide corridor lit by blinking fluorescent tubes. It seemed to be a busy street, full of numerous species, but none of them paid much attention to a girl crawling from a vent. Yet Maya felt like thousands eyes were on her, when she looked to her left, then right, then to the left again, helpless. Then she simply set off, unsure where the passageway would lead her. All she knew was staying on one place wouldn't do much good to her. It was just a matter of time before they'd realize she was gone and so she needed to utilize every second of the precious time she had left, especially after she had wasted so much of it because of her emotional breakdown in the vents.

She felt angsty, walking through the middle of the corridor, her eyes darting to her left and right, drawn by anyone standing along the walls. She was desperately trying to put on a brave face, but somehow she suspected they saw through her charade and knew very well she was a stranger.

She couldn't help, but stare when she met her first krogan. She had no idea they were _that_ large. Well, she knew they were huge, but when she actually saw the giant reptile she felt incredibly small. The creature could be more than two meters tall, his body protected by huge, thick hides of dark colours, and she was sure the muscular arms and hands could tear her in half effortlessly, how strong they looked. The small wide-set eyes seemed to follow her every move when she passed the krogan by, his mouth twisted into a smirk. A slim, and much smaller, salarian was keeping him company, his eyes huge and dangerously clever when he leaned closer to the krogan, whispering to him. The sound of his voice, coming in short quick sentences, carried through the corridor and even though Maya could hear it, she understood nothing of it. Suddenly she regretted not wearing that stupid earpiece John had given to her.

_No, don't look at them, don't look at them, mind your own business...god, what a gun...no! Look away!_...Maya kept on thinking, setting her eyes front. She arrived at a crossroad and quickly turned right, without thinking. And stopped. Several meters from her a group of five batarians stood in the middle of the corridor, absorbed deeply in their discussion. At first they didn't seem to notice the girl standing frozen in the corridor, eyes wide.

_Turn around...get lost! Goddamned, turn around!_, she was screaming at herself inwardly, but her legs refused to move. She was staring at the group and twenty eyes were staring back at her from dark and ugly bat-like faces.

And then one of them moved. Made a step towards her. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could actually say anything, May's muscles suddenly sprung to life again. "No!" she screamed and her arm flew from her side, omnitool on. "S-stay where you are! Don't get closer," she growled.

The Batarian stopped and tilted his head to the right.

_Oh, great...right...what was it again? Admiration or insult?_, Maya thought while the batarian was totally wasting his breath speaking. She, once again, had no idea what he was saying. Instead, her eyes were travelling between the two pairs of his eyes, not sure which pair to focus on.

_Say something, anything! And get lost! _"Whatever," Maya heard her own voice, "I'll leave now. I've taken the wrong turn anyway..." With her heart beating madly in her chest she backed away and quickly turned right again. She started running, desperately trying to get as far from them as she could.

She passed by a couple of strange pink creatures reminding her of jellyfish-like balloons filled with helium, and almost bumped into a group of small round creatures with funny and loud breathing. Eventually the need for air made her stop and she halted, resting her palms against her knees, trying to catch her breath. And when she straightened again, she got startled by a creature that wasn't there when she ran into the corridor.

The creature was shorter than her, had four legs and two slim arms. Its body was round and it looked like it wore a red vest. Its head was on a long neck and had two large black eyes. It simply stood in front of her calmly, watching Maya with those calm black pits. And she was sure she'd never heard about this species before.

"Let him through," a man voice sounded from behind Maya. She turned around quickly, glad to hear a speech she understood. The man was as tall as her, with dark brown hair and eyes hidden behind a dark blue visor. He was dressed in medium armour and carried two heavy pistols, each placed on one hip. "Unless you want to stand here all day. Keepers are like that. Hey...what happened to your face?" he asked, frowning in concern.

"Nothing," Maya snapped, taking few strands of her hair to cover her cheek. She then made a few steps back until she felt the cold wall behind her to let the _keeper_ walk by. But instead of going forward, the huge insect-like creature turned around.

"Where is it going?" Maya asked, her eyes following the keeper. "I thought it wanted to..." When she turned her head back to the man, there was a turian by his side as well. The first thing Maya noticed about him was the huge shotgun he carried. The barrel of the gun was resting against his shoulder casually. He wore the same armour as the man next to him – black with blue stripes on both of his arms, stretching from shoulders to the wrists, and on the front of the armour as well.

His mandibles, decorated with white markings just like the rest of his avian face, moved slightly and the sound he made was similar to a chuckle, but then he started talking in a deep voice and Maya was, once again, lost. _"Trust no one,"_ Jereth's voice echoed through her mind.

"Yeah, Karnius, she does," the man nodded, smirking. "Are you?"

"What?"

The pair exchanged glances. Unfortunately, it was the turian who answered. While he was talking he let his arm with the shotgun fell to his sides. He used the other hand to move through the air in a slow, calm gesture, and she couldn't help but stare at the sharp talons he had for nails.

_Yes, say yes! People like to hear positive things!_ "Yes..." she whispered.

The turian nodded his head and the expression in his eyes seemed to warm up a little.

"Well, that explains everything," the man said with a serious expression. "Do you need help?"

That made her cautious. "You'd...help me?"

"_Trust no one."_

Once again the turian had his say.

"Yeah. Enforcement division, to be precise," the man added, smiling proudly. "Are you sure you're alright? The bruise looks nasty."

"It's alright, really. I..." ..._need to get to the Presidium. Don't you happen to know the way?_

_"Trust no one."_

"I'm fine. Thank you, but I...I should go," she said eventually and turned around. She was holding her breath while walking away. And only after she took another turn she allowed herself to breathe freely again. She leaned against the steel wall with her back, closing her eyes for a moment. _I need to know to whom I can talk. And I know of a guy who can help me narrow down the list_, she thought and lifted her arm, turning her omnitool on. A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips when the violet orb spawned in the air in front of her, but before she could say anything, it sparkled and was gone again.

"What the..." she muttered and tried again. The result was the same. An error message popped up on the display. "No..." Maya sighed when she vainly tried to read the whole message. It was unreadable, with parts of letters missing. The omnitool had to be broken.

"No...can't be…the blade worked just fine..." she whined and pulled the device from her hand, turning it in her palm. She saw a crack in it and a small lid seemed to be missing. There was a slot under the lid, just large enough for some kind of a memory card.

That puzzled her. Back on Mindoir, she had disassembled her omnitool to pieces and then put it together again, and she couldn't remember seeing a memory card. The thing was: that wasn't her omnitool. This belonged to Sean.

Quick steps behind her alerted her and she quickly turned the useless omnitool off, pocketed it and started running again. The corridor had to lead somewhere.

...

It was nearly end of their duty and Martin and his turian buddy Karnius were just on their way The Presidium. "That was an incredibly long day," Martin said with a sigh and stretched his arms.

"Tell me about it. At least you didn't have to lug that heavy thing along," the turian answered and to emphasize what he was talking about he lifted his right arm and removed the shotgun from its place on the small of his back.

Martin smirked. "Yeah. Lucky me," he laughed, leaving his friend behind while he was waiting until the gun switched from stand-by mode. He knew the turian would then rest it against his shoulder; it's more comfortable that way.

When he turned around, he saw a rather strange sight. There was a girl in the corridor, her back to him, standing in front of a keeper. Both were motionless, staring at each other.

"Let him through," he said with a soft smile. He was aware the keeper could stand unmoving for hours when something was in its way. "Unless you want to stand here all day. Keepers are like that. Hey..." he let out a long breath when the girl turned around to look at him. First thing he noticed about her was her strange hair colour, but then his attention focused on her face. She was pretty, with incredibly green eyes, but her left cheek was marred by ugly-looking bruise. It was still violet, no green or yellow edges, which had to mean it was rather fresh. "What happened to your face?" he asked and suddenly the end of his shift got out of sight.

"Nothing," the girl blurted out, quickly arranging her hair to cover her face, while stepping aside to let the keeper pass her by. The creature had changed its mind however, and turned around, walking away from them.

"Where is it going?" the girl asked with a surprise. "I thought it wanted to..." she started saying, but then she noticed Karnius who'd finally joined Martin's side, and didn't finish whatever she wanted to say. Her eyes widened at the sight as well, and Martin couldn't help but notice it was the shotgun on the turian's shoulder that probably scared her so much.

Karnius had noticed it too and allowed himself a soft chuckle. "My, Martin, she looks like she just saw a ghost. Maybe it's because she's a newcomer here?"

"Yeah, Karnius, she does," Martin agreed, smirking. "Are you?" he turned to the girl again. She definitely looked like a newcomer.

Her eyes were wide and for a moment her expression was baffled. "What?" she whimpered.

That was weird and according to the look Karnius paid him, he thought the same. "Newcomer," the turian said and allowed his shotgun to slip from his shoulders. He stretched his arm along his leg, hoping to get the gun out of the girl's sight. "You look like you don't really know where you are. A young girl like you should be up in the Presidium and not down here. This is one of the worse areas of the Citadel," Karnius explained, while gesturing with his free hand. "You're not from here, am I right?"

"Yes..." she whispered after a moment of hesitation.

Karnius nodded; it was as he thought.

"Well, that explains everything," Martin nodded. "Do you need help?" he offered. Maybe she was really just lost and she needed to point to the right direction.

Her expression changed. The confusion was gone from her face. Her eyes narrowed. Her stance changed too, as if she expected them to lunge at her every second. "You'd...help me?" she asked silently.

"Of course. It's our job," Karnius explained. "We're from the Citadel Security."

"Yeah. Enforcement division, to be precise," Martin added. "Are you sure you're alright? The bruise looks nasty," he started saying and wanted to ask about it some more, but the girl took a breath to speak: "It's alright, really. I..." she paused for a moment. "I'm fine. Thank you, but I...I should go," she said eventually and turned around. She walked away from them with awkward stiffness.

Martin watched the girl disappear behind the corner before he turned to his colleague. "That was weird," he stated, scratching in his hair.

The turian made an equivalent of human frown and nodded. "Yeah. Should we report it?" he asked in his deep voice. His mandibles moved considerably when he mentioned the report, however Martin couldn't tell if it was a sign of excitement or annoyance. After all, they were just about to call it a day.

"And what would you say?" he asked and shrugged. "That we found a girl whose only crime was an exaggerated hair colour? Come on...you heard her. She's alright," he said, but there were doubts in his voice.

"I'm not sure, Martin," Karnius echoed his worries and looked in the corridor as if he could still see the ginger standing there. "A lone kid down here? Doesn't sound right."

"Street kid. What? Happens all the time. Even the Citadel's not without flaws," Martin tried to offer a logical explanation. "But I agree with you. Something wasn't right about her. And the bruise..."

"She looked scared," the turian nodded and narrowed his eyes. "And was it just me, or she really did look like she didn't understand a thing I said?"

"Nah...that's nonsense. Even little kids have translators," Martin waved his hand.

"And she wore a part of your uniform. I mean the Alliance," Karnius went on with his observations.

"Really?" Martin mused, trying to remember the girl's clothes. "I don't even know. I've been so long with the C-Sec that I've lost track of how the new uniform looks like. Man, I think the Alliance change it every couple of years. Waste of money, if you ask me."

...

The sun was shining high in the artificial sky when Adam arrived at the Presidium. His steps were heavy and his side was making a mere walking the most difficult activity in the whole universe, but there was something he had to done himself.

The fact the little brat had escaped was alarming and the only thing that could worsen Adam's situation would be her arrival at the human embassy. He had to make sure she wouldn't get there. And he knew how.

He suppressed the feeling of resentment and approached another C-sec patrol. The turian couple spotted him when he was two meters from them, and their attention focused on him. "Excuse me, I need your help," Adam started, worried expression on his face. He lifted his arm and a photo of Maya appeared above his forearm, projected by his omnitool. "Have you seen this girl?" he asked, his eyes never leaving the ugly alien's faces. "She's my sister, Maya. We were just down in the Lower Markets and I lost the sight of her in a crowd of people."

"Well, she looks old enough to take care of herself. I'm sure when you return to the Market, you'll find her there," one of them replied calmly.

"Why don't you contact her?" the other asked.

"That's the problem," Adam came with a quick reply. "My sister is..." he shifted his weight, "well, she's retarded. She's autistic and very, very shy. Right now she's probably lost somewhere and terrified and has no idea where to go," Adam pretended he was afraid for her. "Please, if you see her, send me a message immediately to this address," he paused for a moment while his omnitool was sending the address to one of the turians. He'd just made it for this purpose only. "I'm sure she will try to run from you, she's so timid. She's probably going to speak nonsense as well. There are times when she doesn't even recognize me," he went on with the charade. He knew if they actually could catch her and the two of them would meet, she'd deny everything he'd just said. But now, they would consider it just a part of her delicate state of mind.

After he was done with them, he moved to another S-Cec officer he noticed, ready to play the farce once again. Maya Shepard was not to fall into the Alliance hands if he could help it. Else everything would be gone...and so would his life.

...

There was the thing. It was simple, but until the encounter with the turian she hadn't fully realized it. Just because _she _couldn't understand _them,_ didn't mean they couldn't understand her.

"Hey! Oh, hi. Could you...point me to the Presidium? This way or that one? That one? Thank you."

Her new strategy was to appear by someone's side, ask, receive an answer and get lost as quickly as she could, keeping in mind Jereth' last advice. And when she left what was probably the twentieth elevator, she nearly started crying again when she spotted the first writing in English. It was just a word, but Maya was sure "wards" would now become her most favourite word ever. Not to mention the closer to the surface, the more humans she was meeting. It made her feel less lonely and it helped her blend in the crowed easier.

And the surroundings looked less hostile to her as well. And when she appeared in a room with stalls along the walls, even thought it was crowded and full of aliens, she felt safe once again. Her mind was calm as she could feel her destination was close. She walked up the stairs, ignoring looks of people she passed by and soon she found herself in a large open space with view over...

"...the Citadel..." she let out a long breath, finally seeing the station with her own eyes for the first time. With weak knees she approached the edge, leaning against the low wall and the only thing preventing her mouth from hanging open in awe was the fact her cheek hurt like hell whenever she moved her jaw.

The view was one of the most magnificent she'd ever seen. The arms stretching into the darkness, all the lights blinking at her, all the ships and speeders of various shapes and models...and then she saw _her_. The largest ship ever, floating so close Maya thought she could touch the radiant hulk if she just reached out with her hand.

She watched the ship slowly disappear and when she looked in front of her, her eyes focused on the large ring between all five arms, her goal, the Presidium.

Slowly she turned around and headed away, her eyes searching for another direction sign. When she was it she allowed it to lead her to a long corridor with another elevator at the end. And there was a huge sign just above the door. Presidium.

...

To get out of the monorail train John had to make his way through a crowd of people. The Presidium, however, had never looked more grim to him, even thought the artificial sky was cloudless and the sun was shining brightly. The Citadel was approximately in the middle of the day cycle now, so there was more than ten six hours of daylight left. However, day or night, it didn't matter to John. All he wanted was to get to the embassies.

The monorail however had station in the Presidium commons, the most popular and favourite part of the Presidium. Everyone, regardless of the race, liked to spend their free time there, enjoying good meal or drinks in numerous restaurants, simply sitting in the sun, talking, or spending their money on things they actually didn't need.

John was extremely impatient and when he tried to reach the elevator by running before the people inside would close the door, he was too slow; the biotic display back in the clinic and his empty stomach were once again causing him problems. He grunted in frustration and used his fisted hand to hit the door as if it could make the elevator return. "Goddamned!" he hissed under his breath. He felt like he was racing against time, even though he knew he couldn't change anything. But the feeling was there. Like he had to get to the Presidium as soon as possible.

...

Katherine could imagine what a nuisance guarding a door could be, so she wasn't surprised the two humans standing in front of the entrance to the storehouse didn't notice her at first. She knew average human could focus their attention for twenty minutes at most, then his focus would always drop. She cleared her throat to alert them and, when it was clear she didn't intend to slow down, one of them made a step forward. He stretched his arm out, palm to her. "I must ask you to leave, madam. This is a restricted area and..."

"Has Adam arrived yet?" she barked, cutting the guard off. "I have an important message for him," she added and activated her omnitool, showing the two they were all in the same boat.

"He left the storehouse twenty minutes ago, ma'am," one of the guards addressed her.

"Do you know where he's gone?" she asked impatiently. She didn't know why, but the fact he'd disturbed her.

"Unfortunately, no."

"Never mind. I need to talk to him, step aside." The two Cerberus operatives did as she ordered them and let her pass, closing the door behind her.

...

_Sunlight?_, Maya thought confusedly when she stepped out of the elevator. Just as every level she had come through was in a way similar to the next, this part of the Citadel looked completely different. She could see trees and water reservoirs. She could feel a soft warm breeze against her cheek and that baffled her even more.

When she looked up, instead of seeing all five arms surrounding the central ring, there was a blue sky. "Wow..." she let out a long breath, making few hesitant steps. "Isn't that...a mass relay?" she added when she noticed the replica sticking out of the water in front of her. It was obviously much smaller than the real mass relays, and it had to be just for show, but a thought crossed her mind if it could be activated just like any other relay in the galaxy.

_Focus..._ she thought then and turned left, following another sign. It said the embassies were to her left. She started walking slowly, looking around, still unable to believe what she was seeing. This level of the Citadel was a marvel. She could see all the way around the central ring and the strange arch the artificial sky created, following the ring's shape. There was a huge tower above her, so tall she was sure the whole Presidium could be seen from the top. She caught herself standing in the middle of the pavement, staring up at it, musing about if she could go up there to see the view. And this whole time she was oblivious to the couple whose eyes she'd attracted.

The two turians were watching her with seemingly great interest, talking to each other quickly, pointing towards the dumbfounded girl. "Isn't she the one that guy was looking for?"

"Can you tell one human from another?" the other responded, lifting his arm to scratch his fringe with his talons.

"Well, the hair?"

"Yeah, it might be her. Should I send her brother the message he wanted?"

"No, let's make sure first," he shrugged and both started making their way towards her.

Her first reaction when she felt a touch on her shoulder was to freeze. All her muscles tensed when she turned around slowly, her eyes travelling up to look the two aliens in their faces. Then they dropped to the uniform. It was the same the pair from the lower levels wore.

Her eyes grew wide. Did they all belong to Adam? But the guard in the storehouse wore black and white armour, not black and blue. But why would they approach her if this wasn't the case? Down there she was standing out – human, alone, hurt, frightened, unarmed - but here it was different. There were a lot of humans, so there had to be a reason the two decided to approach exactly her.

Whatever the truth, she did the only thing she could think of at the moment; turned around and quickly run away. She heard them yell at each other and quick steps behind her indicated they were after her. As little as she knew about turians – since she hadn't been paying attention at all - she could still remember the beginning of the lesson. Turian's body was slim and agile and allowed them to move at high speeds, but they weren't good swimmers.

Her eyes darted to the side. The reservoirs were so close, yet seemingly out of her reach. She was tired and hungry and even though she tried to run as fast as she could, she knew they would catch her soon.

It seemed impossible. After everything it was to end now? She tried to fight, back on Mindoir, on Earth, even here on the Citadel, she was afraid, terrified and wanted nothing, but to curl on the floor, ground, whatever, and simply wait until everything would be as it should. She didn't give up, however, and now she should lose? Just because she belonged to the slower of the two species? And what would they do to her one they'd catch her? Why the man needed her? Why _her?_

"_Making sure your _solution_ is alive, Adam!"_

Solution. Solution to _what_ exactly?

Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears and she was breathing hard, but she still could see the sharp yelp behind her and the loud thud. It was followed by the distinctive noise of steel on steel and when she turned around, she wanted to start laughing at the sight. Her two pursuers were on the ground together with some other human who had been unlucky to leave the elevator at the moment he did.

But it still wasn't the time for celebrating. Only now she realized how stupid she was. She knew her disappearing couldn't go unnoticed and since the Embassy was the only logical decision for where to find a sanctuary, Adam had sent his man to search for her.

The Presidium wasn't an option now, which sent her back to the beginning – she had no idea what to do. But to think something up she needed time. And there was only one place where they wouldn't be looking for her.

She couldn't believe it when her steps really turned towards another elevator, decided to return to the storehouse. Not only she would be safe – or at least safer – there, but maybe she would find answers to all the questions that had popped up in her mind. The information was crucial right now. Without it she was fighting a fight she couldn't win.

...

John knew the elevators on the Citadel took hours before they got to the surface, but this time it seemed to be even slower. It seemed to him like _ages_ before the door finally opened and he could step into the bright sun of the Presidium.

A quick motion to his left drew his attention, but it was too late to prevent the collision. Two sprinting turians in medium armours hit the marine with full force and they all ended up on the ground. They immediately started muttering apologies, helping him up, but John's only concern was to get to the Embassy. He shrugged off their excuses about chasing after a lost child, and walked away hastily. He needed information. And quickly.

Sadly enough the Alliance didn't have much to report yet, except for their typical: "We're looking into it." And it made John feel helpless. If only he was back on Earth and at least could help with the investigation. Here he couldn't do anything, but wait until the new data packet would be transmitted via the Extranet and hope for new information.

With nothing better to do he at least decided to contact his last source of information he had on Earth. After all, Kaidan asked him to call him as soon as possible in his message. But the biotic still looked a little bit surprised when John's face appeared on the screen in front of him. "John!" he exclaimed.  
"Kaidan," John addressed his friend, his voice urgent. "I've got your message. Maya. What happened? Do you know something? The Alliance practically stonewalled me. They refused to tell me a thing and I doubt it was really because of the lack of information," he blurted out.

Kaidan frowned deeply at first mention of his sister's name, troubled expression in his eyes. "John, that's not because they wouldn't want to tell you anything. The truth is, they really do not have anything to say."

John shook his head. "No, I don't believe it. Don't tell me nobody saw anything, heard anything. That's not possible."

"I know it sounds incredible, but that's how it is. Your neighbours just thought Maya was watching a film."

John shook his head once again, refusing to accept this. "She couldn't just vanish into a thin air. What about the body? Who was it?"

"Well...they're still trying to identify him, but..." Kaidan paused for a moment as if afraid what he was going to say next would sound foolish, but John wanted – needed – every piece of information he could get.

"What? Kaidan, talk to me. What do they know about him?"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly bet my life on it, but..."

_The day was long and Kaidan was glad it was finally over. All that was left, before he could head out to his favourite club to meet his friends, was to drop by John's place to check out how his sister was doing. It didn't bother him. Maya seemed bright enough kid to him, very alike John in a certain way. Besides, she could use a few minutes talking to someone. According to what John had told him, Kaidan was the first one to whom she'd ever told anything about Mindoir. There was a chance she might open up again, and that would definitely help her. _

_ He even bought another apple for her – just a single apple. He somehow suspected it would both conjure a smile on her face and remind her of the rude way she had greeted him the other day. Yes, she could use a little of good upbringing as well. _

_ Though if she was indeed so similar to her brother, she was already a lost cause. He'd never met a person as stubborn as John. _

_ But when he knocked on the door – several times - the answer didn't come from within the little flat. A door on the other side of the corridor opened and an elder man appeared in the doorframe, looking grumpy. Kaidan realized after so many times he'd been here at John's place, this was the first time he'd ever seen any of his neighbours. _

_ "Stop that noise," the old man said in firm voice. "Unlike me, they're probably sleeping. No wonders. They were up for most of the last night, watching films so loudly, that for one second I thought the firing was on the corridor. So would be so kind, son, and keep the fuss to a minimum before I call a security guy," he growled and disappear into his flat again, leaving Kaidan standing in the corridor, speechless, before his words could actually sink in._

_And when they did, Kaidan eyes slowly travelled to the John's flat again. Something wasn't right. He could clearly remember what John had told him about Maya. He'd mentioned her problems with sleep – nightmares and the fact her sleep was extremely light. The softest of touches or the faintest of sounds could immediately wake her up; another scar on her child soul caused by the trauma._

_ "If it's not difficult to wake you up...then why aren't you opening?" he mumbled under his breath. He turned on his omnitool and looked for the access code John had given to him in case of emergency, and waved his hand in front of the control panel. The light turned from red to green and the door clicked once and slid open. _

_A short flashback flashed in front of his eyes when he saw a body on the floor. It took him a second to realize it wasn't a turian, but human figure lying in the pool of blood. Another thing his mind reflected was it wasn't Maya and that... _

_ …Maya!_

_ "May!" He yelled suddenly and jumped over the body, now the least of his concerns. "May!" he called her again, ignoring the blood splattered all around. "Lights – on!" he commanded and quickly made his way to the bedroom. Empty. So was the bathroom._

_ "No..." he shook his head, but no amount of rejecting the situation would change it. He had to act. Firstly, he closed the door. Secondly, he contacted the Alliance. Then he sent an urgent message to John. Only after that he allowed himself to sit down on the sofa, his mind racing._

_ The old man had mentioned films. It had to mean whenever _it_ happened, it had to happen shortly after he'd left the flat and Maya and her drone were watching that film they wanted. And that meant..._

_ "...that if I accepted her offer and stayed..." he whispered into the silence, the consequences of his decision hitting him with full force._

_ He could have saved her._

_ He let out a long breath and hid his face in his palms, then moved his hands up, combing his hair. _

_ He could have saved her._

_ His eyes fell on the body. The dead eyes were staring at the ceiling, lips parted in surprise, arms spread out as if the man had wanted to embrace whoever killed him. _The drone_, Kaidan thought. _It had to be her drone._ Kaidan knew John didn't keep weapons at home. He didn't need them. He was deadlier than any rifle and able to protect what was his._

_ But he hadn't been there. _

_ Kaidan narrowed his eyes. Could it be...just a coincidence? Or was Maya targeted on purpose? The timing was hinting at the latter. _

_ A quick inspection was enough to tell Kaidan nothing of John's possessions was missing. So the sole and only reason for the break-in was indeed to kidnap Maya._

_ "What is that?" he mumbled and stood up when something across the room caught his attention. He noticed a small object lying under the TV set and even thought he knew he shouldn't be touching anything, his curiosity got the better of him. _

_ And when he took the small card into his palm and frowned when he recognized an extranet card. Certain versions of omnitool – like those issued by military – didn't allow connection to the extranet in their extras. When superiors and bosses in general finally gave up trying to erase Solitaire from their subordinates' computers and omnitools, the extranet came and they had to somehow make sure they wouldn't spent all working hours logged in. Eventually, inventive workers found a way to get over this as well, and so the extranet card was born. Without it nothing regarding the Extranet would work – no connection, no messages, no addresses, nothing. Everything was stored on it._

_ Kaidan turned his head and his eyes fell on the extranet terminal. What if the card belonged to one of the kidnappers? He knew he should let the Alliance handle it, but somehow he felt personally responsible for not keeping a closer eye on May and so in no time he inserted the little card into the terminal. He waited patiently, until the computer loaded all the data._

_ For a second a wave of disappointment swept over him when he realized it was Maya's card. He wanted to shut off the messages, but then he noticed the last one was missing a sender. Hesitantly he opened it._

"The three-headed dog?" John repeated.

Kaidan nodded. "Cerberus."

John blinked. "Like...the terrorist organization? That doesn't make any sense!"

"It does. John, can't you see? It was far too much of a crazy random happenstance. Somehow it had to be planned. They hit exactly the first night you weren't home. And if you hadn't asked me to check on her from time to time, you would have been still oblivious to what happened even right now. They would have plenty of time to do...whatever their plan is."

"But...why Maya? Cerberus is a pro-human organization. Why would they target a human?"

"I...don't know," Kaidan shrugged. "But it's better than nothing. The Alliance's already investigating this possibility as well. And I'm helping them the best I can."

"You? Why...I mean...thanks, but that's not really your..."

"It is, John," Kaidan cut him off, sighing heavily. "It is..."

* * *

To be continued. Thank you all for reading and for all those fantastic reviews you keep posting :) Have a nice day everyone


	8. Another message

Disclaimer: ME belongs to Bioware, lucky them.

* * *

_Tobias watched his friend's receding back, until she reached their house and entered it without looking back at him. He sighed and hung his head. He'd just made her upset and that was the last thing he wanted. _

_If only she wasn't that stubborn. If only she was willing to accept that John would never return to Mindoir. _

"_Headstrong little bird," he murmured and his head turned towards the centre of the colony. This was the way he was supposed to take, but he turned around instead, heading back to the school. There was nothing he could do about it, but wait until she'd come to him heartbroken and searching for consolation._

_It would take some time and he could use it to help her. Usually it was she borrowing him her notes. And since she hadn't made any, he could do at least that much for her, saving her the future work. And the Extranet terminal in a school library was a great source where to look for anything regarding turian anatomy. _

_ It wasn't like they didn't have the terminal at home, but the connection was better at school. Not to mention there was nothing else for Tobias home. His parents were probably out on fields, working, and he wasn't looking forward to an empty house. _

_ He passed by a group of little children from kinder garden playing in the grass outside the school, and walked inside the building, ready to spend few hours there._

_ But then everything turned upside down and suddenly Tobias found himself together with those kids and a few teachers in a bunker, a sound of gunfire above him, confused and scared. Though the fear was not for him, whatever was happening up there it could not reach to them at the moment, but many others weren't that lucky. Strangely enough, his thoughts weren't about his family, but about a certain young girl._

She lives just a stone's throw from the school. If she was still at home she'd be already here,_ he was thinking, staring at nothing in particular. _She must have left for the spaceport already, which means she's on the other side of the colony. And there's no way she could make it from there.

_May, May, May...the name was echoing in his mind, cold fear paralyzing him, choking him...She was probably dead by now. His May was dead and he'd never had the chance to tell her. She'd never know how much he loved her, her smile, her laugh, her hair, her scent, the way she walked, she talked, the way she did every little thing. _

_ This inner pain was so tormenting, it helped him ignore the physical one. When they were trying to get the children inside the bunkers, one of them stumbled and as Tobias tried to catch the little kid before it could fall down the stairs, he ended up rolling on the floor, biting his tongue as he was falling._

_ And now the children were crying loudly, sobbing and asking what was happening, and that was driving him crazy. He wanted to stand up and to scream at them that they were all dead and lost, and that it would take hours before any help would arrive, provided it would arrive at all. He wanted to tell them that he didn't care about any of it, that all he wanted was to go outside and die as well. But when turned his head to them and saw the large terrified eyes, he smiled and put on a brave face. "They are going to be here soon. The Alliance knows about our troubles, don't worry. We're safe here."_

_ No, they weren't. It was like dozens of them against two soldiers – corrected, one. Alan had gone to the colony, trying to find any survivors, and probably had died there as well. It was just a matter of time before they'd shot CJ down as well, and then they'd come through the trapdoor and down the steep stairs and kill them all in here as well. _

_ May, May, May..._

_ Just as the thought crossed his mind a pair of legs appeared on the stairs and he lifted his head. And suddenly all the negative thoughts vanished from him and he stood up, staring at the newcomer. "May!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, hurrying to help the marine with the girl. She had traces of tears on her face, her arm was burnt and she was bleeding from her leg, he noticed when the marine eased her on the cold floor._

_ "May!" he rushed to her side, crouching beside her._

_ She mumbled his name and lifted her left arm to trace her fingertips along his face groggily. And he could feel something else against his cheek, something she was holding in her palm. But it didn't matter to him. He took her hand in his and smiled at her brightly._

_ "I thought I'd never see you again, May," he started saying and reached into his pocket for suede cloth he'd been using to clean the screen of his datapad, and quickly started wrapping it around the wound in her leg. It was difficult, a bandage would be much better, but that was all he had on himself. "I'm sorry if it hurts, but I must apply a certain pressure to stop the bleeding," he was saying while she was smiling tiredly, her eyes travelling around the bunker. "Here...much better, isn't it?" he whispered and reached out to put her hair behind her ear. Her cheek felt hot against his cold hands when he brushed her face lightly. "Or better, I know it's not any better, but at least you won't bleed to death."_

_ "I can't hear you," she said suddenly and then her eyes moved upwards to the trapdoor. Alan had come to lock them up._

It had been a hell back then, but she survived it. Despite the odds, she managed to somehow fight her way to the bunker, but now she was dead. It was ironic. When people were dying, she was too stubborn to die. And when she was supposed to be safe...

"Tobias? Are you alright?" Carol asked slowly, setting the cup aside. She wanted to reach out with her hand towards him, but he spun around and run back to his room. He grabbed his backpack his new parents had bought him to school and turned it bottom up, and spilled all the things inside out of it. Quickly he started filling it with clothes. He was throwing it inside without any care, and only what he thought he'd need.

"Tobias, what are you doing?" Peter's voice sounded from the door. Soon his hands were in his foster father's, stopping him while he was trying to jam his anorak in; he knew Vancouver was much colder than this place. "Tobias," Peter said firmly, shaking Tobias's hands a little to make him to look him in the eyes.

"Let go," Tobias begged, avoiding the eye contact. "I...I must go there. I must see her, or...just make sure. I won't believe it until I see her corpse. I must see her...she can't be dead."

"What are you talking about?"

"About Maya!" he yelled loudly at him. "About John Shepard's sister! She can't be dead! She survived it all, Mindoir, batarians, she survived despite everything! And he was supposed to keep her safe, to protect her! But he let them kill her! The greatest human hero let them kill her!" he was screaming, his every word making his foster father more and more speechless and shocked. "Where was he? Why wasn't he with her? Why did she have to die? I was hoping to see her one day again! I wanted to surprise her with the visit, maybe on her birthday or something, but now she's dead!"

"But Tobias..." Carol whispered, utterly astounded by his reaction, "they didn't say his sister was dead. Nobody said she died. He just lives with her. And that Asian woman as well. And maybe it was the burglar who died. You cannot know for sure it was her."

"And that's why I want to go to Vancouver," Tobias said, his tone much quieter once again, as her words had managed to calm him down a little. He didn't want to believe May was dead and Carol just gave him a reason to hope. Maybe she really wasn't dead. They wouldn't have covered something like that up – the greatest hero's sister dying during a break-in.

"That wouldn't be that easy, Tobias," Peter added his voice as well. "If they refused to give the press any information, they wouldn't give it to you either."

"Maybe John Shepard would," Tobias protested, but then he hung his head and let his arms fell to his hips. "You're right. It was a foolish idea," he mumbled, frowning at the half-packed backpack.

"She must be really important to you," Carol whispered behind him. She'd moved from the door to stand next to him, and she now rested her hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "I'm sure in time they will tell us more. Maybe tomorrow, or on Friday."

"You're right...I have to wait. The last time I thought she was dead as well, and she wasn't. Maybe...well..." he hesitated for a moment."I should go," he added. "Kara's waiting for me outside," he remembered and left his room, leaving his new parents completely dumbfounded in his room. But he didn't have time to think about it now; Kara was waiting. And ten-years-old girls weren't known for their patience.

...

John had no idea how long he spent in the quiet room, staring at the screen where he'd been talking to his friend, which was off now. But he still couldn't bid himself to move. He felt confused, Kaidan's words echoing in his mind. What if he was right? What if it was Cerberus's work? But what would they accomplish by kidnapping his sister?

John glowered at the screen in front of him and ran his hand through his short hair, thinking. There had to be something special about her, something which had attracted their attention. He was chewing on it, really hard, but couldn't find the answer. May was an ordinary girl from Mindoir. She had no special knowledge or abilities. She'd never crossed anyone's path or made any enemies. Two weeks ago she hadn't even existed for the large galactic community. Her name had been just one among millions that had no importance, no significance. She'd been a farmer's daughter from a backwater colony.

Until the day it had been plundered and destroyed.

His frown deepened. Could this be the reason? Because she survived? No, that sounded stupid to John and he didn't even have to say the thought out loud. Cerberus would achieve nothing by kidnapping Mindoir's survivors.

"I know that feeling…" a deep voice behind him said in calm tone, breaking his chain of thoughts.

John slowly turned around, glancing towards an opened door. "Feeling?" he echoed after a few moments, watching the dark skinned man walk inside the office hesitantly, as if it wasn't his own to begin with.

"Helplessness. Being unable to do anything," he explained, his dark eyes filled with concern.

"Yeah," John uttered silently, closing his eyes to press fingers into them. "I'm not used to it," he added.

"That's a life of a soldier. But sometimes you simply have to stop and think before taking a shot, John," he said in father-like tone that amused the young marine. "Nice advice, coming from a man who's never stopped taking action when he could. Eh, sir," he added in apologetic voice.

The elder man nodded. "I understand, lieutenant. No good news from Earth?" he asked, reading between John's lines.

"They don't know anything," he confirmed and narrowed his eyes. "But they have a certain...hunch."

"What kind of a hunch?" the other man asked, moving to sit on the chair behind his desk.

"Before she was kidnapped my sister had been sent a message warning her in advance. It mentioned the three-headed dog and my friend interpreted it as a mention of a certain organization..."

"Cerberus?"

"That's what he thought, sir. But...I don't know. It sounds too..."

"Farfetched?"

"Exactly," John nodded, waiting, hoping the elder man would give him some advice, better than the first one anyway.

"Just because kidnapping humans isn't their agenda doesn't mean they wouldn't do it for the right reason. Remember SSV Geneva."

"There is no reason now," John claimed, unintentionally raising his voice in frustration. "There is no single fucking reason why they'd do it. She's just a kid, ordinary kid. They would gain nothing by kidnapping her!"

His superior was watching his outburst over his joined fingers, thoughtful expression in his eyes.

"Can you imagine how terrified she must be? After everything she's been through? I shouldn't have agreed on the surgery. Not now. I should have asked them to put it off," he started saying.

"Stop blaming yourself, John. You had no way of knowing what would happen. And you needed the new implants."

"But they can't help me find my sister," he snapped, angry at himself. "Sir. This whole bio..." a soft chime of his omnitool cut him off.

...

Just as the ship started to approach the mass relay, the two giant rings in its centre started rotating slowly, picking up speed as the ship was gliding forward, until they became just a blur around the pulsing core. The energy was emanating from it faster and faster, the pulsing turned into a glow as bright as a star and Jereth had to close his eyes for a moment. Through his closed eyelids he could see the last burst of energy as it enveloped his ship. For an exterior viewer the blue aura shimmered brightly, then died away and the shuttle was suddenly gone. Jereth however only changed surroundings.

When he opened his eyes the light from the mass relay was coming from behind his ship, and though he couldn't see the rings he knew their motion was gradually slowing down until they stopped moving altogether, waiting for another ship to activate them again.

Taking a deep breath Jereth swiftly moved his hands over the ship's control, engaging the FTL drive. He had a few hours before the ship would approach another relay. Not that he needed to jump through so many of them, but the more of them he'd use, the more difficult it would be for _anyone _to track his vessel down.

After he'd helped the girl to escape, he had volunteered to meet the broken speeder and help with the repair. Adam, incredibly upset and impatient at the moment, didn't suspect anything and so Jereth had a free way off the Citadel. All he had to do was to travel to spaceport 4 where a ship was waiting. The pilot, another Cerberus agent, was easy to eliminate, and soon the ship belonged only to him. Instead of leaving the pilot behind however, he'd tied him up and brought him aboard. If he was about to go down, he'd take as many of _them_ as he could.

He used to be the head of the scientific cell. He had _plenty_ of valuable information and he was sure the Alliance would be very curious to hear what he had to say about a certain human organization, its safe houses, agents and practices.

But his biggest concern was different. And that was why he'd decided to write another message. He'd sent it just before the ship hit the relay, and now he was in the pilot seat, his head in his hands. He was listening to the roaring coming from the back of the ship. It was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment. He wasn't having second thoughts, he was sure what he'd done was the only thing he could have done, at least in concord with his conscience. But now fear was gnawing at him. He didn't care about what would happen to him. The decision was his and he was ready to bear the consequences. But now he realized it wasn't just about him anymore. Much more was at stake now.

His eyes closed, lips slightly parted, he was breathing deeply, but it helped little to calm his mood. His hands were pressed against his face firmly, but he could still feel them trembling. His fingers resting against his forehead were cold, but it was nothing in comparison with the chills creeping up and down his spine. His heart was pounding madly, blood roaring in his ears. His only companion - the engine.

What was he thinking? How could he protect _her_? There was no way he could hide her. They would always find her. How could he? He'd condemned her to life of a refugee, fugitive, runaway… _No, no. I've done the right thing. I've done the first right thing after so long. She didn't deserve it. I had to help her._

But who would help _her_?

_John…John will. I'm sure he will. He has to. She will be safe. He'll make sure she is. He has to._

_...  
_

The room was dark, lit only by several computer screens and blinking diodes. The atmosphere was thick and heavy. The computers were beeping softly and humming, the sounds driving Kaidan crazy. His back against the wall next to a door, his eyes closed and hands crossed over his chest, trying his best to push back the starting migraine. But he knew the battle was already lost. It had started sinking its fingers into him after the conversation with John, and it was getting worse every second. Soon the pain would become unbearable, binding him to a bed in a room with total silence and covered windows.

" How long yet?" he asked in a quiet voice and yet the sound pierced into his brain like a needle; a needle held in a wicked hand that was twisting it in the wound.

"Rome wasn't built in a day," came a slow answer, the voice strained as the speaker focused his full attention on a screen in front of him, his fingers dancing above the holographic keyboard.

"You're not building Rome," Kaidan remained him.

"Right, it's more like demolishing it," the alliance tech expert whispered. "Whoever sent the message was a pro, let me tell you. But don't worry. I'm better."

Kaidan let out a long breath. "I hope you are. The message is the only link we have."

"I thought there was a corpse."

"They still don't know who he was," Kaidan said and drew his eyebrows together. He lifted his hands and touched his temples, massaging gently. The room fell in a silence again. _Silence…_ Kaidan thought when his face twisted mildly. According to his head, silence wasn't the word he'd use to describe it. More like someone yelling right into his ears.

"Wow…" the tech exhaled slowly and the crack of his chair nearly made Kaidan's head burst. "This is…rich."

Kaidan's eyes snapped open and his body made a swift move forward to stand beside the tech. His eyes scanned the file displayed on the screen. A mix of emotions washed over him, starting with excitement, via disbelief and surprise, to anger. "Treacherous bastard …" he breathed out, his fists clenching unwittingly.

"Yeah, that was unexpected," the tech nodded. "On the other hand," he added, his face turned up to watch the civilian next to him, "he warned her. So something of alliance must have rubbed off on him," he said optimistically.

"Warned or not, he's a terrorist," Kaidan frowned. "Besides, he could have warned John not to leave Earth." Strangely enough, the lack of the advanced warning was making him much angrier than the fact about his ties to Cerberus.

"Whatever. I'll let my superiors know and you…why are you here actually?" the tech asked suddenly. "You're not part of the Alliance, as far as I know. Has Shepard asked you to keep an eye on the investigation?"

_He asked me to keep an eye on his sister_. "Sort of," Kaidan nodded. "I'll tell him what you've found out," he said quietly, his eyes quickly scanning the dossier on the screen, already forming a plan in his head.

"He won't be pleased to hear one of his own men had anything to do with it."

"He won't," Kaidan nodded. _But first, painkillers._

_...  
_

Katherine had no idea how long she was waiting in the storehouse before Adam finally arrived. She could tell by the first look at him that he was angry. And the fact that she was there clearly surprised him, which was a rare sight; he'd usually managed to conceal his emotions. And that was why Katherine had always disliked dealing with the man. She had no idea what to think about him.

"Katherine," he said in a harsh voice, his breathing quickened.

She crossed her arms in front of her, drawing her eyebrows together in a deep scowl. "You asshole," she hissed. "You killed the boy?" she accused him, her finger pointed at the corpse lying in the middle of the storehouse. The boy was staring wide-eyed at the ceiling, two small-sized holes in his pale forehead. The blood had trickled down his face, around his nose and across cheek, and made a little puddle under his head.

Aware of the situation, Adam's eyes narrowed dangerously, his stance aggressive. "He failed in his duties. He let…"he stopped himself.

"…and with his own pistol, I guess," she added, ignoring his feeble excuses. "Since there's none on the body."

"As I said, he failed…"

"Whatever! His punishment was not your call, Adam!" she yelled at him. "And why the hell are you still here?! You have to get her off the Citadel. John knows she's missing!"

"What?!" Adam snapped. He'd thought the situation couldn't have gotten worse. Apparently, he'd been mistaken. "How?!" he growled.

"He'd asked a friend of his to check up on her," she explained. "I thought you'd like to know. And, as I see, it was very insightful of me, since you're still here, wasting precious time by…by…where have you been actually?"

How ironic. Their roles had changed so quickly Adam absolutely failed to notice. Usually it was him admonishing her for failed or sloppy job, for her incompetence. It wasn't like he was her official boss; they were all bound to work together as equals, only his role was to gather information from both her and Jereth – Jereth! Only the mere thought of the name turned Adam into murderous state! – and forward it to the Illusive Man. His role however gave him a slight advantage in comparison with the other two agents.

"We're screwed," Adam growled, evaluating the situation as he slowly made a way to the nearest crate so that he could sit on it. Running across the Citadel to and fro combined with the wound had drained all the strength and energy from him. He felt exhausted, both physically and mentally, since he could see no way out of his dire situation. And it was all one man's fault – but his fate had been already sealed. Adam had informed about his betrayal. It was just a matter of time before they would catch him.

"Screwed?" Katherine repeated incredulously, reluctant to believe her own ears. If Adam claimed something was "screwed", than the situation was really fucked up. "Adam, what happened? You're bleeding!" she exclaimed when she noticed the glossy reddish-brown stain on his side.

"Don't…!" he started saying harshly, when she made a move to come closer. "We've been betrayed. That's what happened."

"What?" she whispered. "What do you mean?"

"Jereth Raynolds…do you know him?"

Her black eyes widened. "John's tech expert. From his unit," she whispered as she slowly started putting all the pieces together. She was aware she and Adam weren't the only ones working on this case. But the last agent's name had remained secret to her…apparently until now.

"He's helped her with her escape," Adam hissed through his clenched teeth as he started rolling up his shirt to check on the wound. The blood had soaked through the bandages already – obviously – but Adam had no medigel on himself right now to close the stop the bleeding. His eyes darted to the dead body. "Search the corpse," he commanded. "I need medigel…"

"You don't have her?!" Katherine cried out in high-pitched voice. She felt the familiar grip get a hold of her stomach. Her heart skipped a beat.

"I would have been long gone from this goddamn place if I had," Adam growled. "The medigel."

"Search the corpse yourself," she snapped at him, furious. This could change everything. This could destroy everything. This could lead to a disaster! "Where is she? What does she know?" Did she know about Katherine? How could she? But the chance was there – Jereth could have told her. No, that was stupidity. Just as she hadn't known his name, he couldn't have any information about her either. Or could he? _Dammit, dammit, dammit!_

"Shit, I don't know!" he screamed at her, really pissed off now. The pain, the stress…and she was the closest person who he could take it out on now. "She could be anywhere now!"

"You idiot! You incompetent cretin! Why didn't you let anyone to guard her?!"

"I did!" he growled, slowly but surely loosing his patience with the stupid woman. "And he's lying on the floor, because he let her slip through our fingers! Still think it wasn't my call?" he added as sweetly as he could.

She grunted and paid him a murderous look, before her eyes strayed from his face to the dead body on the floor. "So what now?" she brought herself to speak calmly again, but the situation had already set the alarms bell ringing.

"There's no way we can find her on our own. She can be anywhere," Adam said, breathing heavily. "Though I've made sure the C-Sec will let me know if they find her."

"And if not? How much does she know of your plan?" she repeated the question that was burning on her tongue. That was what she really wanted to know.

"Don't worry. We didn't have a heart-to-heart about what I had in store for her."

"And what is – pardon me – what _was_ it exactly? Now when your plan is in ruins, I may know pretty much as well," she said strictly and crossed her arms in front of her again.

"I've made a deal with a certain batarian slaver on Omega," Adam admitted. Now it really didn't matter. They were all done for anyway. "After some time I'd sent someone to retrieve her and bring back to her brother."

Katherine blinked twice before she started laughing. "You wicked bastard," she said after she calmed down. "Don't say you were hoping the rescue would make her loyal to the Cerberus to the extent that she'd try to convince John as well?" She allowed herself another hearty chuckle. "You fool. By that you'd only achieve that he wouldn't arrest you on the spot, but give you an hour head start. If he was feeling generous."

"Not after few months without any information about her whereabouts or wellbeing," he stood his ground.

"A very long shot," she whispered, making few steps closer to him. "A one that would surely miss its target. You don't know him. When it comes to his duty, he's ruthless. He always gets things done…one way or another."

"And he loves his sister. But it doesn't matter anymore," he added, wincing in pain. "The girl's gone…and there's just a little chance we're getting our hands on her again. And with every minute the chance dwindles even more."

Katherine lifted her eyebrows slightly. "Poor Adam. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes now. Really. Well, the wound is ugly. I only hope you won't bleed to death," she smiled at him sweetly for the last time and turned away from him, making quick steps towards the door. "There's a chance she might appear at the embassy. I'll wait for her there and bring her back here if she shows up," she promised and opened the door, leaving the wounded man alone with the corpse.

And once she had her back to the guards a hesitant smile spread over her face. This was a way out. This was her chance – her only chance – to get out of the vicious circle of constant lying and deceiving. It was utterly selfish. She intended to leave the sinking boat before it could take her down under the surface.

The girl was on the Citadel. John would love to hear that, and maybe he'd turn a blind eye to the way Katherine had found out. If not, if he would not accept her despite it all, if the Alliance wouldn't keep a protective hand above her, she was already dead. Cerberus would see to it.

...

With great fury he watched the woman disappear, feeling angry that he'd given her the chance to act superior. She'd get hers later, he'd decided. Now he needed something to kill the pain.

"Guards!" He called with all the strength he mustered, ignoring the pain when his muscles tensed. One of the guys walked in and when Adam ordered him to search the dead body, did so without any word uttered.

His search was in vain, since the boy had nothing that would help Adam, but when the guard turned back to him, instead of looking at him, something up in the air drew his attention. Adam turned his head as far as his body allowed him. "Get…her…" he hissed and lifted his arm with his new pistol, aiming carefully.

...

With wide eyes Maya watched Katherine leave the storehouse, unable to move, to breathe to say anything, suddenly wishing she'd been still lost in the ventilation system.

Finding her way back to the storehouse had been difficult. All the corridors looked the same, the only clue she'd had was its size. The closer to the storehouse, the narrower they were. When she'd exited the vents, she could stand up in them, but when she'd crawled into them, she'd been on her hands and knees.

The screams had helped her, reverberating off the metal walls, leading her. Moreover, it was the strange familiarity in them that drew her closer and closer, helped her to find a way through the maze.

"No…" she breathed out finally, staring at the scene down under the hole she'd made, but not seeing it at all actually. "Katherine? No…" She shook her head, still unable to believe it. "No, no, no…she's with them too? She...she sold me out? And now she'd…no…" she was whispering.

She'd heard the reason, she'd heard the idea wasn't hers, but she was with them. She knew about it and she let it happen, furthermore she took John away, but it still felt like a bad joke to May. Her mind absolutely refused to believe it. That simply couldn't be happening. Maybe she was still lying in that container down there, sleeping and dreaming it all up. Maybe whatever Jereth had injected into her bloodstream could cause hallucination and visions and she was just seeing things.

And maybe it was the cruel, plain truth.

There was a loud bang, a bright light flashed through the vent and she felt a hot pain shot up her arm. She screamed and reflexively pulled her arm away, her eyes wide when she noticed the dark scratch just above her elbow. It took her a few seconds to realize what happened, and only after loosing so much of her precious time by staring at the blood running down her arm, she clenched her teeth and quickly started crawling away. Soon she could hear loud thundering behind her as if someone followed her. She was breathing sharply and loudly, narrowing her eyes to see through the darkness in front of her. But the sounds were closer and closer, no matter how hard she tried. The hurt arm felt so weakened, as if not only blood but energy as well was pouring from the wound.

A beam of light appeared behind her, moving from side to side and before she knew it she felt a strong hand grasp her ankle. She yelled something, but her ears refused to acknowledge even her own voice, and she started kicking madly, but the little vent didn't give her much space for it. When she glanced back she saw a helmet with a torch slapped on it, so kicking wouldn't actually help her. She felt a tug and her body moved the other way and despite her efforts she couldn't stop it.

There was another crack, more horrific this time and the motion pulling her back stopped. A second later it continued with much greater force as her pursuer pulled her down the hole in a part of ventilation which was too old and shabby to support so much weight, multiplied by the man's armour and weapons.

With a loud yelp she landed on top of the armoured man, but that wasn't over. Just like in the previous storehouse, there were crates along the walls as well, and they'd just landed on top of them. When May's added her momentum, they both rolled off the crate and fell on the other, this time she ended up trapped under the heavy body. Not for long, fortunately, as they rolled off again. When they finally hit the floor and started tumbling on it, she felt a blunt pain at the back of her head, but it soon became the least of her problems as the man had managed to wrap his arms around her body. "Gotcha!"

"No way!" she rasped out breathlessly and lifted her hand, using the bottom of her palm to hit the only unprotected part of his body; his face. A loud snap – and loosened grip around her body – informed her she hit her target, and she quickly slipped from his arms before he could collect himself.

Once on her feet, she quickly looked around and spotted a pistol that had fallen off the man's slot on his tight. She jumped for it at the same moment he reached out for it too. They both grabbed the gun and another struggle begun. She managed to slip her finger around the trigger, but with one of her arms weakened by the wound, she wasn't strong enough to twist the barrel towards him.

"Let...go...you...little..." she heard him growl, panting between each word. His voice sounded funny due to the broken nose.

_Yes! Let go. Even if you managed to wriggle it out of his hands, it would never harm him. His kinetic barriers would absorb the projectiles. But you have the omnitool in your pocket, with the omni-blade..._

"As you wish," she hissed and in one fluid motion she freed her hands from beneath his. The unexpected motion caught him off guard and his arms bent in elbows moving towards him when she let go.

In the meantime she quickly reached into her pocket and turned her omnitool on half-way from it. An orange glow illuminated his face when she brought it just under his neck, breathing heavily as they both froze.

The man bated his breath. His eyes – violet irises with darker edges around the dilated pupils – searched her face and lingered there. His face was bloodied, his nose already turning a soft shade of blue, forcing him to breathe through his mouth.

"Hands off the gun," she growled and the man made a sound similar to chuckle, but a little more nervous. "You'd never kill me, little girl," he said, but his tone lacked any confidence.

"You think so? Guess again. I've already killed two people back on Mindoir," she hissed in the coldest tone she could muster. "And right now, I have nothing to lose. The gun!" she reminded him, and this time the man hesitantly obeyed, maintaining the eye contact. "Good boy," she whispered while her mind was racing. What now? "Shield battery. That one in your armour. I want it out. Now!" she yelled at him and watched him slowly reach to his side. She blinked a few times, trying to get the black spots out of her vision while he lifted his hand to present her the battery. "Throw it away," she commanded in a little quieter voice. Her world started spinning. "Good." It was easy to reach out and grasp the cold hilt of the pistol now. Only after she was aiming at the man she drew away the 'blade and slowly stood up, doing her best to ignore the vertigo threatening to send her back on the floor.

She started walking backwards, her eyes scanning her surroundings finally. She couldn't see the exit, but to her right stood a small ship with a lowered boarding ramp. For a second she considered calling to find out if there was anyone inside, but then she realized they had been making quite a lot of noise while fighting. If anyone was on board, they would have walked out long ago to see what the ado was about.

She felt more and more lightheaded with every step she took and moving her head to look around wasn't any helpful. It only reminded her of something wet and warm on the back of her neck, flowing down behind the upper hem of her shirt. _I must have hit my head pretty hard,_ she thought and another wave of dizziness forced her to close her eyes. Instinctively she brought her hand up to touch her forehead.

Then she heard a sound and quickly opened her eyes again, focusing them on the man. He wasn't lying on the floor helplessly anymore. It was difficult to miss her staggering steps and clouded look, and so he'd decided to use the opportunity to knock her off her feet.

"No!" she heard her own voice and her whole body tensed, bracing for the impact while he raced forward. A loud shot rang through the empty storehouse just as the hard, cold armour hit her. The fall felt unusually long and to Maya it seemed like she made at last three somersaults at the process before her back met the floor finally.

The man grunted above her and went limp, his weight crushing the girl beneath him. He lifted his head to look at her, his blood-covered face pale and sweaty. He opened his mouth to say something, but instead of words a rasped breath together with crimson foam escaped his lips.

May closed her eyes firmly, making a disgusted sound when she pushed against the armour, trying to throw the weight off her body. Once free she quickly scrambled to her feet, not paying the dying men a second look, yet the sight of the red stain on the black and white armour was still in front of her eyes. As quickly as she could, with the world spinning around her and the floor whirling under her feet, she made few unsure steps towards a large gate when it started opening, still clutching the pistol in her palm desperately. Her vision had gone blur when the gate revealed three dark figures, two tall and one of them shorter, all very slim and strangely shaped. She felt her lips moving, but couldn't hear what she was saying over the roaring in her ears. Was she talking at all?

...

John paused for a moment, unmoving.

The elder man lifted his eyebrows slightly, giving the marine in front of him a questioning look. "What are you waiting for? Maybe it's finally some good news."

John nodded and turned on his omnitool, connecting to the Extranet. The progress bar when he accessed the mailbox seemed to get slower the closer it was to the right side. Finally, the messages popped up on the tiny display and John's heart sunk when he read sender's name. "That's from Jereth," he said in voice full of disappointment. "From my squad. Apparently duty calls again." He opened it nonetheless.

_I'm sorry, sir. I know nothing I'll say or do can atone for what I've been doing all those years, but I'm not asking for forgiveness. I was a fool. A blind, stupid fool and whatever's coming to get me is totally deserved._

_ But I'm rambling._

_ Have you ever heard about Cerberus? Of course you have; what a stupid question. I was part of it, but I've decided to quit – funny, you can't quit, not really - when things went too far. The only reason I hadn't run away sooner was your sister. I was there when they kidnapped her, made sure she'd be alright, and when the time was right, I helped her escape. But you probably already know that. By this time she should be already at the embassy, spilling her guts to the Alliance, or C-Sec, or anyone else willing to listen to her, so they had probably contacted you long ago._

_ By the way, I'm sorry for the bruise on her face. Adam's work. Couldn't stop him. She's pretty quick though, nearly cut him in two with that omni-blade. A pity he blocked her attack. _

_ Please, sir, I know I'm in no position to make requests, but I have tried to do everything to make sure you sister would survive, including endangering my own life. Now I'm going to turn myself in. It's the only right thing to do and the only way to protect my daughter. However, if things turn out to be at their worst and I don't make it, sir...John, I beg you... don't let them get their hands on my precious little Rebecca._

_ It was an honour serving under you, Lieutenant._

_ (Go to the address below, Cerberus' storehouse. You might still catch them there.)_

John blinked once and shook his head.

"John? What is the matter?"

John breathed in slowly, his eyes scanning the lines again, perusing the letter one more time as if to make sure he'd understood it correctly. "May's here," he whispered. "She's on the Citadel. The whole time..."

_By this she should be already at the embassy..._

But she wasn't, meaning something must have happened to her.

His icy blue eyes stopped at his friend. "I need a few men. And equipment. I know where to go."

* * *

To be continued... thank you all for reading and if you had anything you'd like to say about it, had any question or anything, hit the review button or PM me :)

To **HeartyMedusa**: Yep, it was my intention, your guess was right. Clever you ;) And sorry for not answering your PM sooner, I didn't want to make any spoilers. I'm sure you won't hold it against me O:-)


	9. Paint and clothes and static

Disclaimer: I still don't own ME, and I'm afraid I never will. Life's unfair.

* * *

It was over too soon. The passed two days were the best in Garrus' life, but it was high time to return to Palaven now. Not that he wasn't looking forward to the military training he was about to undertake, but this had been his first time on the Citadel and something about the largest and the most magnificent space station simply captivated him. It was easier to breathe here. He wasn't under the constant supervision of others.

Turians were an old and proud race with deep moral code, strict discipline and high military standards. Obedience and respect meant everything for them, but here it was different. This place was very busy and it was refreshing to see so many other species; on Palaven you got to see turians, turians and more turians. Maybe a few asari, a salarian if you were lucky and only in the capital. The main reason was, Palaven was considered dangerous to other species due to high radiation levels. A short-tempered stay couldn't really hurt anyone, but they just didn't want to take any chances, apparently.

The Citadel, however, was different. Garrus had never been here before, but he was sure he'd like to return after his military training, if given a chance, of course. Maybe, if he was really good, he'd be offered a place among spectres, or rather, he'd be put on a list of prospective candidates. Or he could simply wish to join the military, travel from world to world, fulfilling orders, protecting the galaxy, and he'd lose this desire to...

Alright, these were a little bit naive thoughts, Garrus knew, but daydreaming never killed anyone. And he was sure it was this place's fault; it opened a whole new world to him and he had to admit some of other species customs he'd got to known both fascinated and confused him.

But it was over now and he had to start thinking rationally again. He was about to return to his typical life and the cruel reality of the prospect was already chiding him for it.

In between his parents he was walking through a maze of corridors towards a smaller storehouse. It belonged to the Citadel, but for an officer like his father it was easy to get a clearance to land his ship there. He'd wanted to spare his family the usual queues before check in and the rest of the "welcoming procedures."

His head bent down slightly, he was only half-listening to his parents' conversation. Something about his father's vacations in two weeks, but he wasn't really interested. His thoughts were already about the long journey that was ahead of them.

Finally they arrived at the storehouse and his father waved his omnitool in front of a panel next to the large gate. The console beeped twice and the gate started opening slowly. When it slid to the side enough for Garrus to see inside, he couldn't help but stare incredulously, his mandibles twitching in surprise at the sight.

There was a human inside. A tall, slim girl with red hair who was staggering forward. She held a pistol that looked suspiciously like Harpy to Garrus even over the distance between them. And it was difficult to overlook a body lying further in the storehouse and the pool of blood under it.

"Are you with them?" the girl said silently when the gate fully opened. "Please, don't be...I need...help," she started saying, pausing after each word as if talking was difficult for her. "I've...hit my head...and now...I feel..."

At the moment his father darted forward, sprinting towards the human to break the inevitable fall when her knees buckled. While his mother hurried to the body, he helped her sit on the floor. "What happened to you?" he asked and pushed her hair aside to examine the back of her head.

She closed her eyes and moved her head from side to side. "No translator..."

Garrus moved with hesitation, but when he joined his father, he noticed red trickles running down the girl's neck, staining her white top. Then he moved to pick up the pistol she'd dropped. "There's a blood on it too," he whispered, studying the red splatters on the barrel.

"The other human's dead," his mother appeared by his side, taking the pistol from him.

"Looks like your departure is put off," his father said, moving his mandibles slightly.

"How did they get here?" his mother asked.

"They fell from over there," Garrus noticed the hole in the ventilation system that was crossing the entire storehouse. "But why were they…"

"Now's not time for that," his father cut him off. "Antia, take the girl to the hospital, she looks like she needs medical help," he said, his eyes turning towards her pale face. "I must report what happened and then I'll meet you there. Garrus, go with your mother," he barked out in his commanding voice, and Garrus thought he should have become a military commander instead of C-Sec officer.

"Or course, father," he nodded and crouched beside the girl. He took her arm –_ that looks like a shot wound,_ he reflected – and put it around his neck, while wrapping his other arm around her slim waist. Her body felt strangely soft and fragile as he lifted her to her feet almost effortlessly.

For a moment she looked at him and their eyes locked. They were so large, so kind and tired, so unlike turian. And they were green. He'd never seen green eyes before. "Let's go," he said to her, before remembering she couldn't really understand.

But she nodded, probably guessing the meaning behind his words. Her lips moved, the corners moving up ever so slightly. "Thank you," she said wordlessly.

...

Narius Vakarian was a man of duty. Whatever he was doing he tried to do his best, always by the book, without missteps or malpractices and in concord with his conscience. His job was important to him. He was a typical member of the strict and disciplined turian society, and he was proud of it. His duties always came first.

And this day wasn't any different.

He'd gone to see his wife and son off the Citadel. They had visited it right before Garrus would be given his military training, because his mother had felt he deserved a bit of fun. And he'd agreed. It was just two days, anyway, and the experience might be useful. The days passed quickly and it was time for them to leave for Palaven again, but instead of tranquil goodbye something else was waiting for them.

And it was Narius' responsibility, despite being off-duty, to report what had happened in the storehouse.

Though what _exactly_ had transpired was eluding him. The way the couple had got inside the storehouse was clear; the ventilation system. What they had been doing there was still a secret, but Narius intended to find out, once the girl would be in state fit to being questioned.

Then there was the dead man, with a single bullet in his body that came through his armour – which Narius considered weird. What happened to the kinetic barrier? He was shot from blank-point distance, according to the burns around the wound, and the blood on the gun. That spoke of two things. Either the man hadn't expected she'd murder him, thus had been standing very closer to her when she decided to kill him, or it had been an accident.

The head wound and the girl's apparent disorientation spoke of the latter. Her movements were slow and clumsy. There was no way she could have surprise the man who was almost twice her size and weight and could have crushed her the second she'd slowly lift her arm.

Not to mention the girl was another mystery. Who was she? What was her purpose on the Citadel? How did she get here? She had no ID – they wouldn't have left anyone without an ID in. Her omnitool was broken and, according to the information stored inside, didn't even belong to her, unless she was a human male, an Alliance soldier, named Sean Howard, which Narius doubted. The lack of any translator was weird as well.

So the best idea he had was to consult with his colleagues at the C-Sec office if they had been reported a missing human girl with red hair and that he'd go now to the Huerta Memorial hospital to ask her some questions.

All this was whirling in his brain like a tornado as he stepped inside the Huerta Memorial hospital, the best medical facility on the Citadel.

"I'm here to visit a redhead human girl who's been just brought here. Name unknown," he said at the reception, not really knowing where to go. The human behind the desk nodded and searched the information in her computer quickly, before pointing him to the right direction.

In quick, nimble steps he crossed the entrance hall, making his way through the mob of waiting people, and entered the hospital itself. The scent of medicaments quickly filled his nostrils, making him wince at the memory of his last visit of this place. Unwittingly he moved him right arm as if to make sure his shoulder was working properly.

His head turned to left he was walking down the main corridor, and stopped when he saw the girl through an opened door. She sat on a bed, watching a tall asari donned in long white medical coat standing above her. The girl's face wasn't so pale anymore and her eyes seemed focused unlike the last time he'd seen her. And they moved to him, when he walked through the door.

"Officer," the asari spoke to him when she, too, acknowledged his presence. She closed the distance between them.

"How is she?" Narius asked, narrowing eyes at the beautiful woman in front of him.

"She's suffering from a brain concussion. Luckily it's not life-threatening. Her mental and physical exhaustion together with lack of food and minor dehydration did more damage to her than the injury. Biotics have to eat more often," she added as an explanation, realizing the turian might not know this little fact.

"She's a biotic?" the turian echoed, his mandibles moved slightly at the last words. That was an interesting information. The Alliance kept record of every biotic humanity had. Maybe it would be worth searching the database. "Is she fit for a few questions?"

"Just don't be too harsh on her, officer," the doctor asked sweetly, giving him a bright smile. "She's just a child."

"Have you given her a translator?" he asked her, deliberately avoiding answering her plea. He couldn't promise anything just yet.

The asari nodded, blinking her violet eyes. "Of course. I needed to communicate with her. Don't take too long, though, and please, really be gentle. I'm no expert in human psychology, but she did seem rather shaken to me."

"Don't worry. I'm not here to harm her, just to ask her a question or two," he tried to reassure her.

"Alright," she nodded, giving him another beautiful smile. "If you need anything, I'll be close." With that and a curt nod she left the two of them alone finally.

He waited until he could no longer hear the clacking of her heels, before he approached the girl. Her eyebrows were drawn together slightly in what seemed to Narius as a determined look. Or maybe she just wanted to look fearless. Or she was worried. Damn, human facial expressions. There was so many of them, and he still worked with so few people to know what every tingle of their muscles was supposed to mean. "Do you understand me?" he asked in a silent voice when he approached her close enough; he kept a meter and a half distance between them. His chin was lifted, hands behind his back.

She slowly nodded. "I do," she said just as quietly, her voice firm however.

"Do you know who I am?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I don't have the slightest idea. It's enough for me that you're not one of them."

"Of them…" Narius repeated, making one more step towards her. _That is the second time she said it_. He made a mental note to ask about _them_ later. "My name's Narius Vakarian and I'm a C-Sec officer here on the Citadel."

"C-Sec?" she echoed. Apparently she'd never been on the Citadel before. "What is it?" she added, confirming his thoughts.

"Citadel Security," he explained patiently. "I'm from an Investigation division."

At the moment the look in the girl's eyes changed. They widened in surprise and her lips parted a bit. "Oh…don't you…accidentally…have an enforcement division as well?" she asked.

"We do."

"Oh…" she sighed and a tired expression settled on her face. "I met them," she said, as if feeling he needed an explanation for her sudden question. "I could have ended this nightmare hours ago, but I was too terrified to trust anyone."

"What is your name?" he asked, making another mental note.

"Maya Shepard. I'm from Earth…no…I originate from Mindoir, but after it was destroyed I moved to my brother on Earth. His name's John Shepard. He's a marine in the Alliance navy and right now he should be here. I would have asked him for help, but my omnitool was broken. I couldn't connect to the Extranet."

"For help?" Narius echoed.

"Yes…" she sighed again, "it will sound incredibly made-up, but I speak the truth. They…kidnapped me and brought me here, and from what I've heard they wanted to ship me to Omega to sell me to slavery," she started speaking quickly as if she had wanted to tell her story to anyone for a really long time, but there wasn't anyone willing to listen. Narius just watched her attentively, trying to decipher all changes o her face. This time she looked desperate, or at least he thought she did. Her voice sounded urgent and she was lively gesticulating. "Then they planned to rescue me much, much later and make me loyal to them, so that I would convince my brother to join them as well. But one of them helped me to escape before they could depart from here. And ever since I've been running backward and forward, not sure whom to trust and…well…unable to communicate with anyone. The guy I've shot was one of them. He was chasing after me in the vents when they found me and…then we fell and…everything happened so quickly…" she sighed again and then bit her lower lip. "Please, could you contact my brother?" she added in a weak voice, looking once again weary.

Narius took his time before answering, letting her words sink in. "You keep mentioning them. Who are they?"

"I..." she started saying, then shrugged, looking helpless. "The three-headed dog," she said eventually and before Narius could ask what she meant by that, she added: "Cerberus."

That took him aback. He was expecting anything, but not this.

"What? You know them?" she asked quickly.

That was weird. Narius was, of course, familiar with the terrorist organization, but from what he knew about it, they were supporting their own race. But here was a human girl, claiming she had become a victim to their crimes as well. And why? "Why would they be interested in your brother?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Wait, I do! He's...he's a hell of a biotic! The greatest humanity has."

"A strange way to recruit someone."

"My brother's loyal to the Alliance. He would never join them, but they wanted to try it anyway," she said, remembering Katherine's words.

"What happened to the man in the storehouse? Did you shoot him?"

"I didn't mean to!" she exclaimed loudly. "I was dizzy and he suddenly jumped at me and I got startled and I…pulled the trigger. I didn't mean to hurt him. Really."

Narius nodded and slowly turned around.

"Please?" she called after him when he was at the door. "Could you call my brother? He's here with…Katherine…" There was something odd about the way she said he last word.

"I'll see what I can do," he responded over his shoulder and walked out of the room. He waited until it slid close behind him before approaching the asari doctor. She was waiting on the corridor the whole time, ready to rush in if needed.

...

It felt like eternity before his father finally left the surgery. Garrus watched him when he stopped by the asari doctor. He took a slow breath and glanced over the corridor to where his mother stood, face to the glassy wall, watching the Presidium under them. Garrus' eyes travelled back to his father who'd started working on his omnitool in the meantime.

His legs moved on their own accord, leading him to the door of the surgery. His hand pushed the panel on the door, opening it. He didn't know why, but he simply wanted to talk to her. He'd met a lot of other species, but she'd be his first human he'd talk to.

The girl sat on a bed inside, and once the door opened, her head snapped towards it. She tilted her head to one side. "Ehm...is there some problem? Do you have more questions?" she asked, probably mistaking him for his father. True, humans knew little about turian faces. The only thing that helped them distinguish two turians from each other was the paint, but he had the same like his father. "No. I'm just here to talk," Garrus said.

"Wait a minute…you're not the officer. You have different clothes," she noticed, her outstretched hand pointing towards him.

_Paint and clothes_, Garrus corrected himself inwardly, shaking his head. "No. That was my father. I'm Garrus. Garrus Vakarian."

That earned him a bright smile from the girl. "I'm Maya Shepard. Has your father sent you to ask me more questions?"

"Are you always this paranoid?"

"I'm probably going to be after all this."

"Huh?"

She sighed, combing her hair with her fingers. "Let's just say I haven't been treated very well recently."

Garrus lifted his hand and pointed at his own face. She nodded and touched her cheek with her fingertips, gingerly tracing the outlines of a scab hidden inside a large bruise. "Yeah. It still hurts like hell when I speak or make faces. Or when I move…everything is connected in human body," she shrugged.

"Who did it to you?"

"A man who wanted to hurt me. He got much worse, believe me," she added with an evil smirk when she remembered the scene. She almost hadn't felt it when the 'blade made contact with his body, as easily as it cut through his flesh, but she'd noticed the way he flinched.

Garrus' eyes darkened a little bit. "Like the man in the storehouse?"

"The…oh…so he...he died?" she asked in an empty voice, closing her eyes. "Three," she said so quietly Garrus almost didn't hear her, but his translator was much more sensitive than his ears.

"Three?" he repeated, his eyes on her fisted hands.

She shook her head and opened her eyes...and Garrus was surprise to see tears shining in them. "Doesn't matter," she said, her voice shaking. "Just…I don't believe I say it, but I'm glad my parents didn't live up to this day…" she whispered, barely audible.

It was ironic. She knew if her parents had been still alive, she would have been with them on Mindoir and none of this would have happened. However she couldn't help the feeling. What would they have thought about her? Their little girl...a killer?

And she was. A killer. A murderer. She took three lives now. And the worst part of it was she still didn't feel a thing. She wasn't sorry the three were dead; they had tried to hurt her and she just defended herself. She was only sorry that she had become a monster because of them.

"Eh…and what happened to your arm?" Garrus quickly changed the topic, moving his hand towards bandages on her bare arm. He didn't know why, but he brought his fingers so close, that he could actually feel the warmth radiating from her skin. He'd heard, and had felt, that human skin was much softer – obviously – than turian metallic carapace, but was surprised to discover it emanated heat as well. How come he hadn't noticed when he'd been dragging her from the storehouse?

"I was shot," she said simply, her eyes dropped to look at the hurt arm, not really noticing the surprise in the young turians' predator eyes. "Nothing serious. The head was worse. I was lucky to meet you. What…were you doing down there, by the way?" she asked, tilting her head to one side.

"Well, my father arranged we could land there. As a high-ranking C-Sec officer it was no problem for him."

"So you were just about to leave the Citadel," she gathered quickly. "I'm sorry," she added, averting her eyes. She drew her eyebrows together and her expression changed into something what Garrus guessed was a sad face.

"What for?"

"For slowing you down of course."

That made Garrus chuckle. "It's okay. I'm not in a hurry. Palaven won't go anywhere. It will be still there even after I'm dead."

"I wish I could say the same. My homeworld was destroyed about two weeks ago. Batarian raid. I was lucky to survive."

Garrus blinked once. "And how did you end up here?"

"That's a really crazy story, Garrus," she said, smiling softly. Maybe she would have told him, maybe not, but when the door made their swoosh sound, both of the teenagers turned around to see who was coming.

"Garrus!" Narius said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Just talking, father."

"Then stop. Go out. You and your mother are to leave for Palaven as soon as possible. I don't want you to miss your military training," he said in a firm voice that made May think there was no space for arguments. "Well, it was nice to meet you, Garrus," she smiled and extended her hand towards the younger turian. He looked questioningly at her at first, but then mimicked her gesture. She took his hand and shook it twice, then let go and laughed softly. "Alright. I see you have no idea what we just did. When we meet again, I promise to explain."

"I take your word on that," Garrus answered with a chuckle, before finally turning around. When he passed by his father, the elder turian grasped his elbow to stop him. "Thank you for your help here, son."

Garrus nodded and left the room. Narius waited until the door closed behind him again before he addressed the girl. "I've spoken to your brother. He's on his way here."

"Really?" she asked breathlessly, looking a little less joyful then what Narius would expect. "Yes. He's described every bit of you."

"Every bit of me?" she repeated. "What possibly could he describe? My eyes and my hair. Not many humans have such green eyes and no one has red hair. Ginger, rusty, but not as red as me."

"The bruise," the turian said and watched how her features hardened. "It was not John," she said firmly. "Whomever you were talking to, it wasn't my brother. My brother doesn't know about the bruise."

"I can assure you it was John Shepard. I've been given the contact from human embassy."

She bit her lip and frowned, but Narius could tell she still wasn't convinced. "Why are you afraid? Is there anything else I should know?"

...

The orange light lit Adam's pale face when he turned on his omnitool, opening the new message.

_I've heard a C-Sec officer talking about a certain human girl with red head being hospitalized in Huerta Memorial hospital. I just thought you'd like to check out if it is your sister._

_...  
_

It was infuriating. When John and three other men arrived at the storehouse, except for a single guard and a dead guy inside it was empty.

They searched it through and through, opened nearly every container, but found no one. John suspected they must have left the storage after May had escaped, afraid of being caught.

But what was even more shocking to John was _the_ container. It was a container with false bottom, or rather a false middle. Above and under a small space made exactly for a human body was the container full of spare parts for numerous machines and droids. Moreover they found almost empty oxygen cylinders inside and an empty vial of an unknown chemical.

John spent several minutes staring at the space where his sister had been lying mere hours ago, speechless and unmoving. He couldn't imagine what it had to be like for her to wake up inside that container, surrounded by nothing but silence and darkness, not knowing where she was or what was happening.

They came to tell him who the dead boy was, but John somehow let the information slip from of his mind. It was unimportant to him, needless, useless. All he wanted to know was where his sister was right now.

"Sir," a man approached him. He didn't even belong to the Alliance. He was part of the Citadel Security, but at the moment John was glad he had anyone with him. "We've found a hole cut into the ventilation system."

John gave an ironic half-smile. "Certainly. My sister's not stupid. She wouldn't just walk through the main door."

"We've sent a drone into it. There were blood smears, splatters on the walls. They lead to a part of the vents where the system has collapsed."

John quickly looked at the man standing down under the crate. "Collapsed?"

"Whoever was inside…"

"…fell down, I get it," he answered curtly and hopped off the crate to get closer to the man. "Where did it lead?"

"To another storehouse. It was sealed from outside. Empty, except for another puddle of blood."

John frowned deeply and turned his back to the soldier, thinking. He tried to push thoughts of his sister, hurt and bleeding, from his mind, while he was coming up with possible scenarios of what could have happen.

His thoughts were broken by a chime of his omnitool. Suspecting it was Anderson contacting him – he could have received new information from Earth – he was surprised to hear the typical flanging effect of turian voices. "Lieutenant John Shepard?" the voice asked.

"Speaking..."

" This is Narius Vakarian, C-Sec's Investigation division. I believe I've found a girl claiming to be your sister."

Keeping it professional, John's voice was calm and reserved when he responded: "Does she have a bruise on her face?" he asked, using the information Jereth had given him. "Also her hair has unusually bright red colour and her eyes are green," he started naming the most distinguishing features of May.

"Correct. It's my pleasure to tell you she's unharmed except for a minor head injury, and waiting for you in Huerta Memorial Hospital."

John took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a hearbeat. "Thank you, officer Vakarian. You've just made my – and May's - life considerably easier." With that he turned off the connection, shaking his head. The knot in his chest finally loosened and he could swear he could hear it when the burden fell off his shoulders and hit the floor.

He spun around and headed towards the exit, shouting orders to the men in the process. Only now, when he tried to move as quickly as he could, he realized how much the armour he'd been given didn't fit. Not to mention it was much heavier, medium, the standard issued by C-Sec. Since preferring mobility and agility in a fight, he was used to light armour. But it didn't matter now, he decided when he got in the speeder and ordered the driver to take him to the hospital. It was over now.

When he had time now he turned on his omnitool and started typing a message for Katherine, asking her to go the hospital, and to Kaidan. Firstly, to inform him Maya was safe, and secondly to ask for a favour. After all, it seemed Jereth had indeed done everything to protect his sister. The fact he belonged to Cerberus aside, it was time to return the favour.

...

When Kaidan got out of his speeder, the sun was slowly setting behind horizon, its last beams shining through the maze of building and towers. Quickly he crossed the car park and entered the block of flats. From the file he knew the number of Jereth's flat so it wasn't difficult to find it. He wasn't surprised to hear loud music coming through the closed front door when he approached it. He knocked a few times, then pounded at the door so that people inside would hear him.

When the door opened he took a breath to speak. "Rebecca?" he asked the short girl with black hair that stood in front of him. Her dark eyes scanned him from head to toe before she answered. "Yeah. Who are you?"

"My name's Kaidan Alenko. I'm a close friend to your father's commanding officer. Can I come in?" he asked silently.

A short "eh…" escaped her lips when she chewed on his questions. "It's not really…"

"I need to ask you a few things. I won't hold you for long," he tried to reassure you. She was the only link they had now. If she had any knowledge about her father's whereabouts, there was a high chance they would find both of them together.

She scowled slightly. "I don't want to appear impolite, but my father forbids me to let anyone I don't know in. He's overly protective, but I had to make a promise," she said curtly, waving her hand in the air.

"Why?" Kaidan asked, picking at the thing she didn't actually say. "Was he afraid someone would be interested in hurting you?"

She shrugged and made a face. "I don't know. We live in a big city. There are lot of crazy people around," she uttered, sounding as if she didn't agree with her father. Typical teenager.

"Someone specific?"

"Wh...what do you really want?" she asked and paid him searching look.

"Do you know where your father is?"

"On duty," she said as if it was the most obvious thing. Then her expression changed. She looked alarmed suddenly and she made a quick step forward. "Why? Has something happened to him?" she asked harshly.

"No!" Kaidan uttered quickly. "At least not yet. That's why I must find him." That was right. Expressing a wish to help.

"But…I don't know where he is. He never tells me. Half of his missions are classified."

"Please, Rebecca, try to remember. Didn't he say anything that could indicate where he was about to go?"

The girl shook her head helplessly and lifted her hand to run her fingers through the black hair. Suddenly, her eyes widened and she quickly looked at Kaidan. "Wait, maybe I know. Adam…I mean, one of my father's friends, stopped by three days ago and I remember they were talking about avoiding keepers or something. And keepers are…"

"…on the Citadel," Kaidan finished for her. "Thanks for your help, Rebecca. Now I'm sure finding your father is much closer. And don't worry. We'll find him."

Here. The first step was done. Jereth and hopefully Maya as well were on the Citadel. It wasn't like having their precise location, but it was a start. And Kaidan was sure John could take it from there. After all, he was there as well; surely he'd carry out an investigation on his own, cooperating with the Citadel Security.

He used the time before the elevator arrived to turn on his omnitool. Then, after two men exited the elevator, he got in and pressed the "basement" button, and then he focused his attention at the tiny display projected above his forearm. He'd received a new message.

Kaidan felt a little bit confused, he hadn't noticed receiving a new message, but then he remembered turning the omnitool silent because of the starting migraine. It was from John.

_May's safe. I've attached a file of one of my men. Go to his flat, and take his daughter to the Alliance HQ. Cerberus might be after her. _

Shaking his head, he quickly stopped the elevator and once again pushed a button number thirty seven. When it stopped in the desired level and he got off, he paused for a second when he noticed the door to Jereth's flat were wide open, the music blasting in the corridor.

He quickly approached the door and walked inside the flat. The narrow corridor led him to a living room. He didn't have the time to actually look around as his eyes focused on a man in front of him. He stood with his back to Kaidan, a pistol in his hand, aiming it at the girl sitting on a sofa. His head was turned to left, towards another door leading from the room.

Rebecca's eyes widened when she noticed Kaidan and before he could gesture her not to move or do anything, she took a sharp breath and opened her mouth. Her motion, of course, drew the man's attention and he looked around at the exact moment he was lifted off his feet and thrown across the room. His body hit the wall and crumpled to the floor silently as every sound was drowned by the loud music.

The other man, however, must have noticed his partner in crime was all at once gone, and he quickly appeared from the door. Air rippled once again, static electricity sparkling, and before the man could reach for his pistol slapped on his hip an invisible fist landed on his jaw and he was thrown back. He took a few wavering steps back, staggering to remain on his feet, but eventually lost the battle with gravity.

"Let's get out of here," Kaidan said quickly, ignoring the pulsing pain in his temples as best as he could. He crossed the room, took the paralyzed girl's hand in his and pulled her to her feet, dragging her out, before the two could collect themselves.

"Who were they?" the girl chimed once they were safely in his speeder and in the air.

"Guys your father has set against him when he helped a friend of mine out of troubles," he explained. He didn't feel like telling his suspicion about Cerberus, and this was enough explanation for her.

"Are you in the Alliance?"

"No," he shook his head slowly.

"But you're a biotic."

"That doesn't mean I'm an Alliance soldier," Kaidan explained, fighting the pain. "Though I'm taking you to the headquarters. You'll be safe there."

"And my father?" she asked. When Kaidan didn't answer her right away, she went on: "The guys wanted to search his computer when you returned."

"That's good. They don't know where to look for him and were trying to find a clue," he gathered, pleased he could say at least something.

"And the Alliance has a clue?"

Kaidan looked at her for a moment. Did John have a clue? He'd found out somehow that Jereth had helped his sister. So maybe they had talked. "I don't know," he said eventually, sounding curt.

He didn't want to talk now. The pain in his head was killing him, the migraine, that had been suppressed by painkillers, hitting him with its full force. As if a pair of strong, merciless hands were gripping his brain, making it almost impossible for him to drive at the moment.

Maybe if he was using biotics more often, training like John, his problems wouldn't be that severe. Back in brain camp, John used to collapse twice a month, his muscles paralyzed by crippling cramps. However, ever since the brain camp was...

Kaidan shook his head quickly to get rid of the image of the turian lying on the floor.

...however, ever since John'd joined the Alliance and had started training and practising his biotic abilities on a daily basis, his problems dwindled and the intensity significantly decreased.

"Are you alright?" Rebecca asked silently, her soft voice burying deep inside Kaidan's brain like a razor sharp knife.

"Yes," Kaidan whispered, his hands gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles went white. "Just...don't talk."

The matter was, however, that Kaidan tried his best to avoid using biotics...and he had his reason for it. Vyrnnus.

...

"So?" Maya asked silently, straightening on the bed she was lying on. "Is he finally here?" she asked and looked at Narius. After she told him everything about Adam, he had decided to stay with her, just in case. They'd spent the time waiting for her brother – almost an hour – in rather uncomfortable silence. May could feel his eyes on her most of the time, but whatever was going on in his head he never said anything.

"He's at the reception," he nodded and stood up from his chair, heading towards the door.

May smiled softly when he left the room and looked around, eyes travelling over all the machines in the room she, thankfully, didn't need, and she finally felt relieved. It seemed so long since she last felt that way. But now, it was deserved – the nightmare was over. She was about to go home. Well, the next day anyway. The asari had told her it would be better if she spent the night in the hospital. So that they would be close to monitor her physical state.

The door opened again and a person walked in. Maya sent a bright smile towards the man and swung her legs off the bed. But just as she stood up the smile froze on her lips. "Adam?" she asked in quiet voice, frowning. "You look...messy," she said frankly, noticing the circles under his eyes that shone from his incredibly pale face.

His eyes, blue and grey, were just as ruthless as she remembered, when he growled his reply. "You're not a queen of beauty yourself."

"Thanks to you," she said slowly. Her brother was coming. He was in the hospital, on his way here. He'd take care of him. She only had to buy him some time to arrive.

"I just made us even," he hissed and made a step closer. "You caused me a lot of troubles, you know."

Maya just shook her head. "Don't say you expected me to go without a fight. I'm my brother's sister," she added and only now she realized how truthful the words were.

"You're not a biotic," he opposed, not really seeing her meaning. The similarity she was talking about was more mental one, then physical. Yes, she'd wanted to die after Mindoir, and yes, she'd had an emotional breakdown in those vents, but when it counted she had always found a way. She had found the medigel on Sean, taken his omnitool and summoned the drone. She had managed to escape and found a way to the Presidium despite the odds. She had fought off that man Adam had sent after her. True, she had no idea what would have happened if it weren't for Garrus' father, but that couldn't discredit all she had done.

"I can handle myself," she said.

"Truly?" Adam asked in a low voice. And then he chuckled. "Then let's see how you can handle this..." in slow motion he pulled a pistol from behind his back and aimed it at her. Maya's eyes widened and her hands quickly flew in the air in front of her instinctively, as if they could stop the bullet. She shut her eyes tightly, bracing herself, but then she heard the door swoosh open. A tall, muscular man stood in the doorframe, watching the scene inside, momentarily taken aback by what he saw.

"John!" May exclaimed, while Adam's hand cut an elegant arch, barrel towards the marine. A shot barked through the room, drowning the girl's frightened scream. John staggered back, when the bullet hit him square in his chest from so close range. His body didn't even hit the floor when a blue static slashed through the air. A second shot hit the wall when the shooter was suddenly lifted off his feet, his body was thrown across the room and was stopped by the wall. Adam fell on the floor with a grunt of pain, clutching his side.

"No!" May screamed again, rushing to her brother's side quickly despite the sudden vertigo, just as another figure, tall and agile, slipped inside the room

"I'm fine..." John said just, sitting up, as she crouched beside him. For a second she was confused; there was no blood, no hole in his... "...armour?" she whispered.

John smiled at her for a second, and then sprung to his feet and run inside.

"Kinetic barrier..." May added, her mind slowly processing all that had just happened. As if in trance she watched her brother crouch beside Adam. Narius had twisted his hand behind his back, and pinned him down, his knees between Adam's shoulder blades. John started searching him briefly for other weapons. "He's clear," he said and stood up. He stretched his hand out; a blue aura enveloped it just as Adam's pistol landed inside his palm.

"So you were right," Narius said, his head towards Maya as he yanked Adam to his feet. "Nice biotic kick, lieutenant Shepard," he added, his eyes turning towards the young marine.

"Thanks for your assistance, officer," John nodded, slapping Adam's pistol on his hip. "Will you take him to C-Sec?"

"Yes. He looks sick. I'm sure our cells will do him good," he said, nodding towards Adam and Maya spotted a trickle of blood running down his forehead.

"I'll send someone for him later. I'm sure the Alliance would love to ask him a question or two. And I'd love to interrogate him myself," he added and paid the Cerberus agent a look that sent chills down May's spine.

Narius nodded and led Adam out of the room, telling the mob outside lured by the commotion to disperse and that the situation was under control.

"May," John said softly, touching his sister under her chin lightly to turn her head towards him. He frowned and reached for a swab lying in a small bowl on the table. "You're bleeding," he moved to wipe her nose. She pulled away from him, confused. "What?" she asked and brought her hand up to touch under her nose. "What?" she repeated when she stared at the red stain on her fingers. She took the swab from her brother's hand to wipe the blood.

"That's normal," he said. "Back in the brain camp, every kid had a nosebleed several times a day."

Maya's eyes widened.

"And you hit him so hard you cracked his skull. Nice display. Untrained. No implants. Impressive."

The room suddenly fell into an uncomfortable silence. The siblings were looking at each other, John waiting until his words sunk in, May with incredulous expression, the bloody swab had fallen from her numb fingers.

And just as she took a breath to speak, another woman voice sounded from the door. "John."

* * *

End of chapter. Thank you all for reading and for posting your amazing reviews :)

By the way, it was fun writing young Garrus. Though I was a little bit disappointed when I couldn't find how old exactly he should be at the time the story's happening, so I decided to make him a year younger than May. Just for information :) And...yes, I realize his cameo's a little bit of deus ex machina, but when the the Ancient Greeks invented the term, why not use it, right? ;)

Unfortunately, I have a bad news for you. The life just refuses to stop happening, and to make everything even more difficult it comes with a whole new kind of problems, and their solving requires certain amount of time. I'm talking, of course, about my duties as a university student. I'm in the last year of my bachelor studies and since I'd like to get the diploma I need to focus on writing the incredibly long bachelor's essay right now, while I still have plenty time (I hate doing things at the last possible moment). I'm _not_ going to stop writing this story, don't worry, I'd like to ask you to be patient, because updates will be less frequent. I'm sorry, sue my life (I know I will :D)

**Navarra63:** No PMs, so let me thank you at least this way for following this story :)

And I'd like to thank **HeartyMedusa** for clearing up a few things for me, that made me alter Kaidan's part a little bit. I dearly appreciate your help :)


	10. Coping

Disclaimer: I don't own ME. Bioware does.

* * *

Maya felt every muscle in her body tense when the voice cut through the awkward silence. She took a slow breath while John headed towards the door to welcome her. Ever so slowly she turned her head towards the couple. John's arms were wrapped about Katherine's slender waist, her own arms locked around his neck, chin resting on his armoured shoulder, eyes closed. Suddenly, they snapped open and she quickly jumped from John's embrace as if burnt. "Oh, May..." she whispered. "That looks…ugly. Does it hurt?" she asked in what probably was supposed to be a compassionate voice, raising her left hand to touch her own face. The feigned compassionate gesture, however, only made May's blood boil even more.

"You tell me," she said as calmly as she could, closing the distance between them.

"Eh…what?" she asked and had the guts to look May straight in the eyes.

"May, what…" John started saying, probably sensing his sister's murderous mood, but it was too late to stop her. Several hours of suppressed anger, fear, helplessness and despair reached its peak just as May's hand unstoppably flew from her side. Ignoring the pain in her knuckles when it connected with Katherine's cheek bone she nearly jumped at the woman, if it weren't for John's arm that promptly captured her, tightly holding her by her waist. "So what do you think?! Does it hurt? Does it hurt?!" Maya started screaming when she realized John wouldn't let her go for another punch.

"Maya! Calm down, damned! What the hell has gotten into you?!" John asked and lifted his sister off her feet. He turned around, his back to Katherine as if to protect her and only then he put May back on the floor.

"Nothing!" she yelled at John, but her eyes were on Katherine. "She only sold me out to them, John! I saw her talking to that lovely guy who'd tried to shoot your brain out of your head! She works for Cerberus!" she screamed, pointing her forefinger at Katherine, watching her reaction. She opened her mouth in surprise, fear, May really didn't care, and blenched, her eyes widening. Her hand that was covering the hurt cheek fell to her hips just as John slowly turned around.

"What is she talking about, Katherine?" he asked and May didn't fail to notice he didn't use the usual nickname Katy.

Maya had never been very fond of Katherine, partly because she felt a certain aloofness from the elder woman, partly because they hadn't had enough opportunities to actually make friends. Despite it all a day ago she would have felt sorry for her, standing here like that under John's cold and merciless gaze that allowed no space for excuses. But now, she neither cared nor enjoyed the scene. It felt incredibly stupid and _painful_, watching Katherine stand speechlessly, her black eyes focused on John with her face doing all the talking. There was a mix of pain and regrets written all over her features and something similar to fear made her lower lip tremble slightly.

No, Maya didn't sympathy with her. It was her brother that made her feel the weak pinch of guilt in her stomach. Although standing behind him, she could see her brother's face reflected in the glass wall; it was a perfect mask of a statue; emotionless, deadpan. And suddenly Maya wanted to be anywhere else in the universe, but in the room with the two of them right now.

"So..." John finally spoke up. Hi hand gestured towards the door behind Katherine. "After you," he whispered; his voice reserved and so cold it made chills run down Maya's spine.

When Katherine slowly, with her head bent and shoulders dropped, walked out of the room, John exhaled slowly, and without even looking at his sister uttered: "See you in the morning."

...

The night was a torture. Maya couldn't sleep despite how exhausted she was. She couldn't eat despite the food the asari doctor had brought. She spent the long hours lying on the bed motionlessly, staring at the ceiling above her. Her mood had dropped below the freezing point long ago. Shouldn't she feel at ease now? It was finally over and she was safe again, with her brother...more or less...and she helped to arrest two criminals.

But she managed to make her brother feel down in the process. And that was troubling her. She knew telling him what Katherine was like had been right. But she wasn't expecting him to fall so silent after that. The lack of any emotion in his eyes had been more horrible than if he had started screaming at Katherine, and Maya couldn't help but feel incredibly guilty. As if it was all her fault somehow. And unfortunately, the morning was even worse. John looked like a ghost when he appeared in the doorframe. Or maybe it was just Maya's imagination, imposing the role on him in her mind. He must have felt incredibly shattered, so she saw him like that.

"How is she?" he asked the asari taking care after Maya.

"All readings were in order. She is a perfect example of a healthy girl," the doctor replied without her usual smiles, probably feeling the tense atmosphere. Everyone in the hospital knew what had occurred the previous day. Maya had noticed the looks they kept sending towards her, full of sympathy and questions, but no one dared to approach her and actually ask anything, and the girl was grateful for that.

"Glad to hear it. I take it we can get out of here, then?"

"She's all yours, Mr. Shepard," she nodded and quickly left the surgery, leaving the siblings alone. Maya had to bite down on her tongue to stop herself from shouting after her to stay.

John approached the bed she sat on and pocketed his hands. "I've got you new clothes," he said silently, or maybe it was just him standing at her right. "I left it back in the hotel. I thought you'd like to change in more privacy."

"John…"

"Don't…whatever you want to say…I'm…" he trailed off shaking his head. "What is important is that you're okay," he added and lifted his hand to put a few strands of May's hair behind her ear. "Come," he whispered and headed towards the exit, motioning for her to follow him.

...

They were given a pass on an Alliance frigate, fit for transporting prisoners. It was nothing luxurious, Maya didn't even get a room to sleep in, just a locker for her things – though she didn't need it since she had nothing – and a sleeping pod. The ship was as large as she needed to be, meaning the space for crew was slightly limited - corridors narrow, rooms small, only the CIC was larger so that crewmembers wouldn't bump into each other while carrying on their commander's orders. But after so long of getting lost in large spaces and long corridors Maya welcomed the change. The ship was comfortingly silent, too. Only a soft whispering could be heard from the engine room instead of a loud roaring. And the crewmembers were all very nice to her...probably because of John. They all seemed to know him and they saluted him whenever he passed them by.

The observatory, however, was different. Slightly larger than most rooms on board, silent and abandoned with a large window to give a beautiful view of the universe outside, it offered a solitude the girl was searching. She didn't feel like talking to anyone, or letting anyone stare at her or even think about why they were staring at her. Maybe the hair. Maybe the fact she'd been kidnapped by Cerberus. Maybe because she was the only teenager on board. Or because she'd hurt her own brother, the only family she had. Or it was the bruise. It was all greenish now. Either way, she wanted to be alone.

The ship didn't even hit the first relay leading from Serpent Nebula, however, when she heard the door behind her swoosh open. Strangely enough, she didn't need to turn around to know who opened it. Somehow, she _felt_ it was…no, not John. Biotic. She felt it was a biotic; a strange powerful static inaudibly rippling the air behind her told her so.

"Here you are," John whispered, sounding a little more light-heartedly then what she'd expected him to.

She shifted slightly in her cross-legged sitting position. "It's fascinating," Maya mumbled as an answer, her voice barely above the level of a whisper.

He moved to sit on the floor next to her, his arms wrapped loosely around his knees. "What is fascinating? The view?"

"Yeah. It makes you feel so tiny. So unimportant. And yet you feel like a part of this all," she said, waving her hand towards the window in an attempt to explain her feelings.

"And you've seen nothing yet," John nodded, giving the view a thoughtful glare.

The silence didn't take long however. "Back on Mindoir I used to dream what it would be like to visit all those worlds. To see the Citadel, Illium, Elysium…" she bit her lip, hesitating before adding: "…Earth."

"Let me guess. Now when you have the chance, you don't want it," he guessed, looking at her from the corner of his eyes.

She shook her head. "Definitely not the way I visited the Citadel," she said, surprised by the cheerful way her voice sounded. Shouldn't she be crushed or something?

John paid her a sideway glance, not sure what to say.

"I miss it," she admitted. "Mindoir, my friends…folks…" she went on, her eyes focused on her hands in her lap.

"Do you…want to talk about it?"

Her shoulders dropped. "There's nothing to talk about, John. They are dead."

"Mother's missing."

"That's like a synonym. I doubt there's an Alliance frigate somewhere out here in the Terminus system that happens to catch a batarian slaver ship with Mom on board. She's…gone. Like Dad."

She was surprised when she felt his arm sneak around her shoulders to bring her closer a bit. Their shoulders met and she rested her head on his arm, closing her eyes. "Why didn't you return?" she asked. "After they shut the program? After you joined the Alliance? They would have loved to see you," May said and couldn't help but to give a silent chuckle. "She thought I didn't know about it, but every day Mom used to watch your photo from my sixths birthday. Do you remember it? I was sitting in your lap, hypnotizing the cake in front of us," she smiled, and strangely welcomed the tears in her eyes. "The last picture of us together, before they…came for you."

"I…"

She tilted her head to look at her brother.

"I…didn't know if they would…welcome me back," he said hesitantly.

That made May straighten. John's arm fell off her shoulders, but his palm remained on her back. "Welcome you back?" she repeated. "How…how could you doubt it?"

He laughed shortly, and the sound was empty. "After everything I wrote to them? How couldn't I doubt? And I knew they were carrying out a…campaign to make our parents fear us. A lot of kids lost their families that way."

"So you were afraid," she gathered what John had refused to say out loud.

"You could say that," he nodded after a while of hesitation.

"You fool," May whispered softly. "But maybe…it's for the best. You…could have been with us when…and that would mean you…well, that would mean you would have kicked their asses," she realized. "But you know what I mean."

"I think I do."

"I'm glad to be with you again, John."

"And I'm glad you're…fine?" he asked hesitantly.

Maya's eyes narrowed. "I'm not fine, just…coping. How about you?"

He shook his head and turned to look out of the window. "It's incredible. This whole time I had two Cerberus agents right under my nose and I didn't know it. My deepest regret is they had to drag you into it," he said, still shaking his head.

"You had no way of knowing. I didn't know Jereth, but Katherine was…well…I felt she didn't like me, but…Have you talked to her?"

"She makes me sick whenever I look at her," he replied curtly.

Maya winced. "John…I think she really loved you, you know? She still does."

For a moment John was motionless, then he slowly turned his head towards her. "How can you defend her after all this?"

"I'm not defending her. I'm just stating facts. She loved you. And…she was probably cornered. Just like Jereth. He…he might be dead for all we know. He knew helping would mean his end."

"That's not an excuse," John stood his ground, frowning. "Jereth did the right thing eventually. She could have told me. Now I see why she so keenly wanted me off Earth. To have a clear path to you. But that won't happen again."

"Eh...like you're never ever leaving Earth again?" Maya asked confusedly. "That's impossible. What if they order you to go?"

"No, you silly," her brother shook his head, an amused expression in his eyes. "I'm going to make sure next time you'd cut that bastard in a half. I'm going to get you a new omnitool…yes, military omnitool with all the new upgrades. And I'm going to train you. Martial arts, weapons…biotics. Everything I know."

"In other words…" Maya said slowly, cocking her head to one side, "welcome to the Alliance, Maya Shepard?"

John narrowed his eyes at her and his hand was suddenly in her heir, messing it up.

"John!" she screamed and sprung to her feet, laughing. "No! You used to do this to me when we were kids and I hated it even back then! Hey…hey…what are you looking at like that?" she asked, her laughter dying on her lips.

John shook his head. "Just…I don't remember seeing you laugh ever since you arrived."

She shrugged, giving her brother a hesitant lop-sided smile. "Well…I was…it was difficult. Still is, but…well, they say every cloud had its silver lining, right? This…_trip_…made me realize that I'm not that lost after all. And that when I want I always find a way," she explained and sat close to her brother, resting her head on his shoulder once again. "That I'm my brother's sister."

They didn't speak for a while, and when John finally took a breath and turned his head to look at his sister, her eyes were closed and she was breathing slowly. He smiled and carefully shifted, slipping a hand behind her back, and other beneath her knees. As gingerly as he could he lifted his sleeping sister in his arms and carried her all the way to the sleeping pods. She stirred and moved when he eased her to one of them carefully, but strangely enough didn't wake up. "Coping..." he echoed, watching her serene expression. "Sweet dreams, sis. You deserve them."

...

It was three o'clock in the morning when the ship landed. The Alliance spaceport seemed abandoned, only few soldiers in armours and with rifles in their hands were patrolling the deserted corridors, their heavy steps echoing through them loudly.

It felt strange to walk down those corridors again. The last time Maya had been there was when the SSV Einstein had landed. Her first day without Mindoir, without family. The first day of her new life where everything was lost. The first day that seemed to be end of all. Now it was different. The corridors were just as dull and boring, but there was something else in the air that made Maya feel less bothered by walking down them. This time this whole facility welcomed her. It was a first step on her way to her shelter. This time she walked with her head held high, alongside her brother, not a stranger she had used to know once.

Maya felt her lips curve into a soft smile at the memory. She had been thinking about how John had to feel when she had passed him by. Just like that. It had been too long for her to recognize him. She had considered him an employee of the Alliance. How surprised she was when she spotted him outside the room after Hannah came for her.

"A credit for your thoughts, May," John said quietly.

"Just reminiscing, is all," she waved her hand and paid her brother a sideway look. She was worried about him. After she woke up, the crew informed her he was in the brig talking to one of the prisoners. They didn't have to tell her which of them, Maya knew. And that was why she was so concerned. He looked like nothing had ever happened, a behaviour not unfamiliar to her. After Mindoir she'd tried to look like she was alright, but she couldn't think of anything, but what she'd been trough. Was it possible John was just replaying his dialog with Katherine in his head right now?

"It's refreshing to see you smile," he replied, not looking at her.

"Yeah...Adam sort of opened my eyes."

"Don't say this at the court unless you want to be accused of a Stockholm syndrome." Maybe it was just her imagination, but his voice sounded hollow.

"Do I really have to...go there?" she asked, making a face at her brother.

"You're our key witness, May," he sighed, taking his sister by her elbow to help her take another turn. He didn't want her to leave the spaceport through the front door. He'd been warned about a group of hunger journalists, eager to get to the bottom of his story. A shady side of being famous. If he'd been anyone else, breaking in his flat would have gone unnoticed. He could have only considered himself lucky the general public had little awareness about Cerberus. It had so far remained sort of _secret_ organization. Not that it was helpful now. He'd been seen on the Citadel, escorting two prisoners, and the news reached Earth before him.

But Maya had to be spared such nuisances. Thus the emergency exit.

"I know, but still..." she shrugged, letting him lead her.

"You don't have to be worried. It won't be public, thanks to their...membership," he said with a short pause to search for the right word.

"That's not...I just don't want to have anything to do with them," she said and unwittingly moved her hand to touch her left cheek.

"I see," John nodded. "Thought I'm afraid you have no other choice. Well, here we are," he added and stopped, nodding towards a door at the end of the corridor. "A speeder's waiting for you outside. I don't know when I'll return."

She shrugged. "So I'll see you after school?" she asked, earning a sigh from her brother. "John..." she started speaking before he'd start admonishing her again. "I don't want to be alone with nothing better to do than to think about what has just happened again. School will make me focus on something else, but Adam and Cerberus and the Citadel..."

"It's Friday," John opposed as if this little fact, not unknown to her, could stop her. "I haven't sent your teacher the absence excuse yet. I could always write you had flu, not nausea."

"No, John. I'll take a few hours of sleep, and then I'll pack my things and go to school. I need this, John, I need to do something, to keep my mind busy," she almost pleaded.

Hesitantly, John lifted his hand to finger her face, tracing the scab on her cheek lightly, but his sister simply smiled ruefully. "It's just a bruise. It will fade away eventually. I could have ended up worse. Like somewhere on Omega. Besides, I'll be original. And I can make thousands excuses how I got it."

"Fibber."

"Go get eaten by the wolfs, John. And don't forget so smile to the camera. I'd like to watch the interview later and don't want to see any ugly faces." With a quick embrace she quickly turned around and slipped from the door, into the darkness outside. John felt a touch of a cold, night air from outside before the door whooshed close again. "Like six years old again," he sighed and turned around.

...

It felt like the first day again when she opened the door to her class. She walked in as if in a dream, looking around quickly. David was again sitting on his desk, talking to a friend across the narrow aisle between school desks. His eyes met hers, however, when she stepped inside, and she could swear she saw something warm in them for a moment, before it was replaced with surprise. Now he wasn't looking at her, but at her cheek. So was everyone else for that matter.

"Morning, everyone," she said loudly, conjuring even more shocked expressions. It was the first words some of them had ever heard from her. Ignoring all the looks of bewilderment she walked down between the desks. She didn't stop at the sight of a certain brunet sitting behind her desk. She passed Taylor by and moved to occupy a free desk on the opposite side of the room; as far from the window as she could.

On Mindoir she had always sat by the window. She loved looking out, letting her mind wander. But that had felt like ages ago. Now was a brand new day, a brand new life. She didn't need to do things the way she had on Mindoir.

"Ew...just look at her," Taylor whispered to her friend across the aisle, speaking so quietly May wouldn't have heard her if she hadn't been wearing the translator. She had wanted to get used to it so she'd decided to wear it whenever she could. Besides, her right ear was half-deaf anyway and the translator spoke loudly. "How can she even dare to walk among people disfigured like that."

Shaking her head, Maya opened her backpack and started searching for her datapad. It was still empty. To tell the truth she had never turned it on before. That was unlike her. She had always took care to make notes.

"I know. It's ugly. But hey, at least guys will stop claiming she's pretty."

With her datapad on her desk, she was ready for the first lesson. Math. She liked Math. Everything made sense there. There was a strict, exact order in numbers and variables. Even in the unknown ones was sort of a system. She was into this kind of things.

"She's weird, Meredith."

May drew her eyebrows together and tried her best to ignore the two young girls, although everything in her was screaming at her to finally step in.

"….and truant," the other girl, Meredith added. May dared to lift her head from her desk to scrutinize her. She was short and unhealthily skinny with shoulder-length brown hair. She couldn't see her face though. "I'm sure you've heard the class teacher. Yesterday she asked us if she knew anything about where Shepard might be. Unexcused absence…"

"Great," Taylor smiled happily, and added something, but her words were drowned by the sound of a school bell ringing.

_Great…_ Maya thought grimly and stood up with the rest of her classmates when their teacher walked in. It was the short and overly sweet woman from the first day; Ms. Hutcher. Their class teacher.

With a bad feeling making her stomach do somersaults she sat down again, biting her lip and just waiting for her name to be said. And she didn't have to wait for too long.

"Ah, Miss Shepard, I'm glad you honoured us with your presence today," the sweet voice carried across the room merrily, dripping with pretended kindness that made Maya clench her teeth.

"The honour is all mine," the girl hissed, decided not to let the teacher insult her. She had no right to judge her. She had no idea what the true reason for her absence was.

Ms. Hutcher, seated behind the teacher desk, took a slow breath and flashed the girl one of her awfully sweet smiles. "Could you stand up, please, while talking to me?"

"Certainly," she nodded and obliged, already bracing herself for the impending lecture.

"I see you already look well," she continued, and Maya had to bite her tongue in order not to say anything. Everyone with eyes could see her face, or how pale she was due to the sleep deficit. Ignoring it, the teacher went on: "Anyway, I'm afraid I still haven't received a message from your parents."

Maya nodded, she'd expected a remark like that. "My brother's very busy, but I'm sure he'll send you the message today."

"That's nice, but I'm more interested in dealing with your father."

"That's…"

"Could you tell him to come visit me next week?"

"I'm afraid that won't be possible. Dad's…"

"…busy, I see. We all are, aren't we? Then what about your mother? I'm sure she can squeeze a visit of your school into her schedule," she offered another possibility. However what seemed like a helpful hand, trying to find another way, May found to be more likely an attempt to embarrass her. "No," she stated loudly, hoping her raised voice would take the teacher aback to that extend that she'd finally shut up. "My Mom is…"

"Well, well…but doesn't speak very well about you," Ms. Hutcher replied as if it surprised her. "A student whose parents can't find the time to ask about their children can't be fit for studying at our school, I'm afraid."

Now Maya really started losing her temper. "If you just let me finish…"

"I'll be honest, Maya. You're new here. This has been your first week, but you've already missed almost half of your lessons. That's not a good start. Not to mention you have absolutely zero relationships in the class. No, definitely not a good start. "

"Is that what you want to talk about to my brother? Relationships?!" Maya asked incredulously.

"To your parents," Ms. Hutcher corrected her kindly.

"My parents," Maya started and suddenly sounded calm, "are dead. They were killed two weeks ago, so unless you've invented a time machine, you'll have to settle with my brother." After she finished, the silence settling in the room was almost deafening. As if everyone forgot how to breathe. No one dared to move.

"Is there anything else you'd like to talk about, Ms. Hutcher? Otherwise I'd sit down, with your permission of course," she added, but didn't wait for her approval. She sat down again, ignoring her classmates' hanging mouths, staring at the speechless teacher.

...

When the bell announced end of the computer lesson, everyone hurriedly grabbed their school bags and left the computer room with a loud and merry talking. The school day was over. The weekend was starting now. It didn't mean the same for Maya as it meant for her schoolmates. Next two days were a promise of a lot of hard work, even more sweat and maybe a few drops of blood; John had planned to begin her training, starting with biotics and martial arts.

"Shepard," a silent voice called her name just as she was about to follow the column of her classmates. She turned around and gazed at the teacher, a smart-looking men in his thirties with black eyes and short curly hair. Maya liked him from the first moment she had seen him enter the room. He didn't seem as uptight as the rest of the teaching staff, wearing a dark blue hoodie and simple jeans and trainers.

He was leaning above the computer on his desk, probably signing off. "I'd like to talk to you if I may," he said and smiled at the girl with the last word.

_The pun intended,_ May thought as she approached him, her left hand clutching the sling of her backpack. "Yes, Mr. Sheridan?" she asked silently, suppressing the urge to sigh heavily.

"Well…" he started saying, then took a short pause before finally turning away from the screen to look intently at the girl. His eyes for a moment lingered on her left cheek, before they met her own eyes. "Melissan has mentioned your name a few times during our teacher meeting."

"Aha…" mused, not really sure what to respond.

"It was, without doubts, an interesting discussion. In short, she believes you're not fit for this school."

"She's a quick judge, isn't she?" May said, frowning. "Why does she care anyway? This school is all about money, isn't it? And my brother's paying you what I imagine to be quite amount of credits for teaching me, so why would she want to get rid of a source of financial means?" she spat out angrily as if it was his fault.

"You have good imagination," Sheridan said, nodding twice. "Conceptually, you are right. This is all about money. We're business, just like any other private school. But that's the board's interest. We, teachers, really want you to learn something, to have certain social skills and a possibility to continue with your studies. And it's your…let's say…inactivity and seeming disinterest to learn that bother your class teacher. It makes you look like you do not belong here," he nodded.

"So what?" she asked, finally letting go of the sling only to cross her arms over her chest. "If you all got this feeling, expel me. I couldn't care less. There are more important things than education anyway," she waved her hand in the air.

"Such as?" he asked with slightly raised eyebrows.

"Family," she blurted out quickly. "Home. A place you know like the back of your hand. People you can trust with your life."

"Right…" he said slowly, contemplating her words. "The thing is I don't share her point of view."

"So what?" she shrugged, not really seeing where he was going.

"The test I've given you today…it was supposed to show me what the class has learned since our last lesson…which was on Wednesday…" he paused a little, to let the words sink in the girl. "You weren't there on Wednesday. Yet you've made no complaint about it and you obediently started answering my questions. And believe me, _I haven't been present during that lesson_ is the most frequent excuse I hear," he added with a soft smile. "The results were…well…expected and unexpected as well."

"How so?"

"You were the only one who got the whole test right, Shepard," he said with narrowed eyes. "Not a single wrong answer."

For the lack of anything to say, Maya shrugged simply. Her arms, however, finally fell to her sides as she relaxed a little.

"You've been hiding it well so far, but you're incredibly talented and clever young lady. I can tell."

She snorted. "I'm far from a lady, believe me." Her thoughts turned back to the three lives she had taken.

"The fact remains. You're not stupid, or inactive or lacking interest. Why do you pretend to be like this?"

Maya looked away from him for a moment, her eyes travelling across the room, searching for anything that could help her. "There are more important things than education," she said eventually.

"And you don't know what you've got until you've lost it."

"What?" she blurted out, her eyes darting back to the man in front of her.

"I…overheard the students talking about your parents. It seems to be a favourite topic of your schoolmates."

"Great…" she mumbled and shook her head. "Just what I need."

"Listen, May," he said and closed the distance between them. "If you have any problems, you need to let someone know. I believe it must be difficult for you now, but…"

"I don't need anyone's help," she said quickly. "Though…I appreciate the thought," she added in more apologetic tone. "But I'm…I think I've gotten over it…in a way. I mean…I miss them, but…I'm trying to start over and…well…I've started making notes finally and…" she bit her lip, not really knowing what to add. The sudden offer, or whatever he was about to say, caught her off guard. She considered it odd that a complete stranger wanted to help her. "…and I guess I'm not really making much sense now, but I'm getting better. I need time, but I can manage on my own. Just like always."

"Alright," he nodded. "I'm glad to hear that. And I appreciate that you've told me. I'm not going to spread our discussion, so don't worry. This all will stay just between you and me."

"Thank you. I…mean it."

"Don't thank me. I just want to see you use your full potential, Maya. Don't you mind me calling you Maya?" he asked suddenly and that made the redhead smile a bit. "Well…in my old school they never called me anything else," she shrugged.

He nodded, smiling as well, and moved his hand to rest it gently on her shoulder for a moment. "Then Maya it is," he nodded and removed his hand quickly. "Go enjoy the weekend."

Maya nodded and turned around. Suddenly she changed her mind, not really wanting to go yet, and she spun again, making a perfect pirouette. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," Sheridan replied, already half-way back to the teacher desk to collect his things.

"Why did you…tell me this all? Why do you care if I make it through the school's year or not?"

He smiled mysteriously and nodded, chuckling to himself. "Well…let's say computers are my hobby. And I know a lot of people from this branch in the city. Gossips spread like a forest fire here, and the word has reached to me about John's Shepard little redhead sister that could in a minute stand in for any tech expert in the Alliance."

Maya's eyebrow rose. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again, and nodded, sending her, now, favourite teacher a soft smile. "I wouldn't exactly say I'm that good, but yeah…omnitools are my hobby."

The smile was still decorating her face when she walked down the stairs to the basement, feeling unusually happy. So John had been bragging about her in his work. Or maybe he'd joked about it, jested, anyway he'd mentioned her. It felt good. Maya had always had the feeling John's approach was more of an obligatory one, since he was the last living member of her family. But now it seemed to her John cared about her all this time. It filled her with incredible warm sensation.

"So what happened?" a familiar voice sounded next to her right side, and the translator quickly, with a non-perceptible delay, repeated his words much louder, allowing her to hear what he'd said even with her almost-deaf ear. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I've been at the wrong place at the wrong time. But it's okay. It doesn't even hurt anymore…" _almost…_

David made a sympathetic face for a moment, falling in with the girl's quick pace. "I wasn't talking about your face. What happened to your parents?"

That made her stop. She waited until he stopped as well and turned to her with questions in his eyes. "None of your business," she said simply, calmly, not meaning it as an insult or anything.

"Well…I know, but it's been quite recent, whatever it was, and it made you move out of your old place, so you want to forget and…"

"A shrink, aren't you?" she asked, tilting her head to one side before setting off again.

"Eh, nope? But they say talking helps."

She sighed and shook his head, quickly crossing the corridor towards the front door leading from the school. "What is it to you? Pulled the shortest match again, have you?" she asked and narrowed her eyes as she exited the building and the autumn sun touched her face. She still found its caress cold, but there was something comforting about it today.

"Eh…no, I'm interested in…John Shepard?!"

Maya's head snapped to the boy at her side, and when she noticed the way he was popping out his eyes, she followed his stare. She noticed a small crowd around a well-known speeder and her brother leaning against it. _Damn you, John, why did you have to got out of the car,_ she thought grimly.

"Oh my god! Can you see him? Can you? It's really John Shepard!"

"That's not such a big deal," she shrugged.

"You're kidding?" he looked at her with incredulous expression. "That's damn John Shepard, Earth's greatest hero."

"Riiiiight," she mused, giving a lopsided smile. But she quickly erased it from her face when she caught a glimpse of Taylor heading their way. She had a smug smirk on her face when she approached them and, intentionally looking solely at David, she said: "He's totally awesome. I've got his autograph and…he's just great," she said proudly, making Maya turn away from here so that she wouldn't see her disgusted face.

"Why's he here?" David asked quickly, hoping she had asked him.

"I don't know," Taylor shrugged. "I don't care. What's important, that I have his autograph."

"Well, I could go find out if you're really interested," Maya said, biting down on her tongue to stop grinning at the expression Taylor put on.

"Like he would tell you."

She smiled and shrugged, enjoying this little victory even before it came. Suddenly, she wasn't all that angry at John. But before she could actually make a first step, John had noticed her and it was him approaching her.

"Wow," David exhaled and touched Taylor on her shoulder. "You must have made an impression. He's coming our way."

"Really?" she squeaked like a squirrel and bit her lip. She turned around just as John approached the three of them.

"Hey, you up for a lunch?" he asked his sister, completely baffling May's two classmates.

"Yeah, I'm starving…and don't give me that look. You said I need to eat more if I…well…exercise. By the way, Taylor, David, that's John. My dearest brother. John, that's Taylor and David," she introduced them and thoroughly enjoyed their faces. Their eyes were travelling between the two siblings, shocked expressions indicating that they were unable to believe their own ears.

"Nice to meet you," John uttered and reached for May's school bag, taking it from her. "Let's put it into the speeder and walk. I could use a fresh air," he said, already leading his sister away from the two dumbfounded students.

"Long day?"

"You have no idea. By the way, you were right," he told her and opened the speeder, throwing the bag on the passenger's seat.

"Right? What about?" she asked.

He put a hand on her back, leading her away from everyone, and dared to speak up only after making sure they were out of their earshot. "They found Jereth."

* * *

Yahoo, done :) At least this chapter. Thank you for reading, everyone, and...well...you know what's to follow - if you have anything to say, just hit the review button and shoot.


	11. Four

Disclaimer: I don't own ME

* * *

Maya draw her eyebrows together and sighed, raising her arms to hug herself. "They killed him, didn't they?" she asked silently, anticipating John's answer before he even took a breath to speak.

"I'm afraid they did," her brother nodded, casting a worried look at his sister. She sounded so hollow suddenly, her light-hearted smile gone from her face.

Maya hummed something, and hung her head. "I knew they would. He knew it too. Assholes…" she growled, sinking her nails into sleeves of her anorak. She relaxed then, letting her arms fall to her sides, while turning her head up to her brother. She stopped and John followed suit, waiting for her to speak up. "How did he…die?"

John hesitated. "Well…they found his ship orbiting the Earth. It was completely shut off, even the life support wasn't running. And except for Jereth's b…for Jereth, it was empty."

Once again his sister proved she was smarter than she looked. "Let me guess. He took off unbeknown to another Cerberus agent on board. Once he was unconscious, whoever it was, piloted the whole way from the Citadel, asked for being picked up and then turned off the life support, letting Jereth suffocate," she guessed, sounding grimly.

John nodded; partly glad he didn't have to describe it, partly sad for the rueful expression in her eyes. "That's what the Alliance thinks happened."

Maya nodded slowly and shuddered as the wind rose up, touching her cheeks with its cold hands, trying to find its way under her anorak as well. She simply zipped it up to her neck. "I think I've lost the appetite to eat now," she whispered, feeling down all of sudden. She couldn't help but feel partly responsible for Jereth's fate. She knew it was his decision to help her, and that he knew the risks, proving it by signing his message the way he did. Anyway she felt an increase on _the number. _

Four.

An arm around her shoulders brought her back to present. John's arm brought her closer to her brother as he nodded. "I understand," he said quietly, leading her once again away from the school. The last thing she needed was to return home. So another plan was formed in his head within a hearbeat; he wanted to take her to a city park. It was beautiful this time of a year and maybe it would provide enough distraction for Maya who'd spent her entire life in countryside to perk up a little. "It wasn't your fault however," he stated as if he could read her mind. "You mustn't let it bring you down," he added

"Not my fault…" she echoed, frowning at the grey pavement under her feet, her words drowned by the sound of the wind whistling around her ears. "I know, but I can't help but feel a share of guilt for what happened."

"May…"

"No," she cut him off harshly, still glowering. "I'm not like you, John. I'm not used to…seeing people die or…to kill them myself," she said firmly, putting a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Sis…"

"I killed a man," she went on in a quieter voice as if afraid someone might hear her, ignoring her brother's feeble attempts to silent her.

"Narius said it had been an accident," John opposed her, tightening his grip around her reassuringly.

"Well, it was in a way, but not entirely. We were struggling for his weapon and then I realized even if I got it I wouldn't harm him thanks to his armour. So I put the omni-blade to his throat, ordering him to put his hands off the gun and to disable his shields by pulling out the battery. So when he jumped at me and I accidentally pulled the trigger..." she trailed off, closing her eyes tightly. She still could see the surprise in his violet eyes. Their eye contact had lasted for less than a second before she fell, but she couldn't get rid of the image nonetheless.

John did a double-take somewhere in a middle of her story. He looked at her with a thoughtful expression, contemplating her words. What she'd done, the way her mind had worked even in the life-threatening situation, impressed him. She had managed to think clearly despite everything she'd been through and not only that, she had quickly found the easiest way to solve the situation. "That was very clever," he said before he could stop himself, fortunately, his sister wasn't listening to him.

"And if you wanted to get technical," she went on with her list, pocketing her hands, "I've caused Jereth's death as well. And since I'm responsible for my drone's actions, the guy killed in your flat is my doing too. And I'm not even talking about Mindoir."

John sighed heavily. "Do you know how old I was when I saw someone die for the first time?" he asked, his voice a little bit reluctant. He'd tried his best to forget everything that had occurred in the brain camp. The memories of the place weren't pleasant and he hated talking about the training even now, two years after the program got cancelled. His time back in the brain camp was a nightmare, but it was the closest he had to his sister's experience now. If reliving his childhood could help May, he was willing to open the can of worms.

He could feel his little sister shrug. She lifted her head up from the ground to look at him. "After you joined the Alliance, I guess. Eighteen? Nineteen? During your first mission," she guessed.

He gave an empty chuckle. "If only, little sister. I was three years younger than you." He had to laugh at the face of his sister. Her eyes popped out as if to fall out every second and her mouth dropped open. "What?!" she blurted out. "But that was in the Biotic Acclimation and Temperance training!" He still found it strange how she bothered with pronouncing the long name.

"Being a biotic is extremely exhausting and physically demanding for a human body. We are not biotics by nature and it's taking its toll on us," he started explaining. He'd planned to tell her this all the next day before the training, but now was probably as good a time as any. "We can't use our powers as quickly and as strongly as, for example, asari or krogans. In BaAT, the training was tough and a few kids simply weren't strong enough to make it. The Alliance of course tried to sweep things under the carpet, successfully I might add. No one knew about what was occurring so no one made a move to stop it."

"That's terrible…Now I understand why you hated the place so much," Maya whispered softly. "I always thought it was like a school, only with different subjects."

"Yeah," John nodded, "_survival_ was our favourite."

"That's sardonic, John," she admonished him like a child. "How can you joke about it?"

"Maybe because our sense of humour was the last thing keeping us sane," he replied in serious tone. "Anyway, my point is: don't think for just a second that I don't know what you're coming through right now."

Maya bit her lip for a moment, taking a slow breath while considering his words. "We're more alike than I thought," she whispered.

John smiled and patted her shoulder. "Of course we are. You're your brother's sister," he uttered and was glad to see a soft smile form on her lips. "Yeah," she nodded. "But I still feel bad for Jereth. His death was so...pointless."

"Retribution is pointless indeed, but for some of us it's the very centre of their life."

"I pity those people," Maya frowned and sighed. "Did Jereth have any family?" she asked after a short pause. She was looking around now, the cold wind lashing against her face mercilessly. She recognized the way John was leading her; the city park was the first thing she'd searched for in Vancouver.

John nodded slowly. "His wife died during the First Contact War. But he had a daughter. Rebecca's a little older than you."

May clenched her teeth and fisted her cold hands in the anorak's pockets. "Son of a..." she muttered just as her anger towards Cerberus flared up again. After all, she knew how terrible it was to become an orphan.

"I tried to deliver the news as gently as I could, but she didn't take it well, obviously."

"You've already talked to her?"

"I was her father's commanding officer. It was my responsibility to tell her. And I'm glad for that. I doubt someone else would have omitted the link between Jereth and Cerberus. But I know her and I couldn't tell her that her father was a terrorist."

"That was nice of you," Maya said softly

John shrugged. "I'm a marine, not heartless," he said curtly.

"I know," Maya smiled and took a slow breath. "You play tough and all, but you're alright."

"Alright?" John repeated, glad she finally started making jokes. It had been so amazing to hear her talking so light-heartedly before they parted ways back in the spaceport. It reminded him of the little girl he'd left. As if the hell she'd been through was finally over and she was ready to start afresh.

"I take that back," she replied quickly and her smile broadened. "You're the goddamned hero who'll one day save the whole universe."

"Who'll be my enemy?" John played along.

She shrugged and then said the first thing that came to her mind. "Syntetics."

"The Geth?"

"Nah," she rejected his idea. "Much darker and more dangerous and intelligent, ready to wipe out every single being in this galaxy. Starting with turians."

"Why turians?"

"Well, their fleet's the largest and they are the most powerful species. Or maybe asari, because of their wisdom and biotics," she mused, biting her lip.

"Machines capable of killing the entire turian and asari population? Sounds too risky. I think I'll leave that to you, sis."

"Ha! Coward."

...

It was long after the sunset when the siblings finally returned home, and only because Maya was absolutely frozen by the time. She had spent half the journey back grumbling about stupid cold Canada and how she wished John lived somewhere warmer. Despite this, her first steps – after warming her hands up under running water in the kitchen and eating one of Kaidan's apples – headed to the extranet terminal. The whole day she'd been dying to finally watch the interview, especially when John had remained so taciturn whenever she asked about it.

"_Just an ordinary interview. Nothing special_," he'd kept repeating.

"Headphones," his strict voice rung through the small flat just as she sat down on the chair in front of the screen.

"Why?" she turned to him with a smile after she logged in. "Don't you want to hear yourself? I'm sure you were charming."

"Head...phones..." he repeated, separating each syllable for emphasis.

She shrugged, still smiling insufferably, but obliged him, already fumbling for the large headphones. After John turned around and opened the fridge, she stuck out her tongue at him. With a content smile she focused on the screen in front of her, looking up John's name on the extranet. Finding the video she leaned back comfortably before she clicked on the play button.

For a second the screen was dark, then what seemed like tens of lights were turned on, aimed at an opening door. Maya smiled when it revealed her John and she tilted her head to one side as she watched him walk away from the spaceport. His eyes were narrowed as neared the bright source of light, coming closer and closer. May was surprised the journalists managed to stay quiet for so long; usually the tended to scream their questions, eager to get desired answers. However the first question was asked only after John stopped in front of them as if they were waiting for his permission to speak.

...

"How was your vacation, Lieutenant?" a woman voice asked in kind tone, drawing the marine's eyes to the left.

"It would have been better if I hadn't had to deal with someone breaking into my place," he said curtly, immediately starting the topic they all were there for. His chin was raised defiantly as if he considered the whole interview a very bad idea.

"Lieutenant, the word is the Alliance found a dead body in your flat. Was it someone of your acquaintances?"

"Fortunately not," he said shortly, falling silent after that. Though his brusque reply didn't take the journalist aback. "Does the Alliance know the identity of the person?"

Clasping his hand behind his back he nodded. "Alliance experts compared the man's DNA samples with a database and found out who it was. His family has been informed about their relative's demise already and they expressed a wish not to public his name, which we respect."

"How did he die? Was anyone of your flatmates present at the time of burglary? Were they responsible for this man's death?"

"He was shot by my security drone, so any responsibility for his death falls solely on my head," he said without hesitation.

"Is it allowed to keep a security drone in personal flats?"

"It's not forbidden," he responded promptly, as if he'd expected the question.

"What was the purpose of breaking into your flat?"

"Safe for the obvious, I'm afraid the burglar didn't tell my drone his intentions before he died. I know, very impolite of him," he said, but his voice lacked any trace of joking.

"What was your sister's reaction?"

This time it took Shepard a short while before he answered, his eyes bearing into the journalist who asked the bold question intently, the expression unreadable. Whatever was going on in his head for a few seconds remained untold when he dodged the question. "I don't really see why you're interested in my sister."

"She was present in your flat at the time and she had to do something. Did she call the Alliance for help? Their unit was the first one to arrive, after all."

His features hardened a little bit. "I'm not going to answer that question. Firstly, my sister's not an object of this interview. Secondly, I've told the press a hundred times before I refuse to answer personal questions. Besides, if she had wanted to give you her opinion on this matter, I'm sure she would have sought you out already. If she hadn't, there's nothing to talk about."

"And what about the prisoners you arrested on the Citadel?"

"Classified. Thank you for your time," he abruptly ended the conversation and, strangely enough, the journalists didn't start to protest, probably knowing it wouldn't change his mind anyway. The screen went dark again and the small room fell so quiet Tobias could hear his own heart beating quickly. Frankly he'd stop perceiving the interview after receiving the specific information he'd been after. _Fortunately not_, his numb mind repeated quietly over and over again, the words rolling off his lips soundlessly as well. Ever so slowly he took a breath and then let it out, sighing heavily, a stupid, relieved smile forming on his lips. "Fortunately not," he whispered and took another slow breath, his heart still beating madly. He leaned back in the chair and looked around; only now the sounds of his surroundings started reaching to him again.

He heard the water run as Kara was having a shower. She was singing loudly a song in a language he didn't know. He heard his foster parents talking from downstairs. Hyper's loud panting coming from the top of his bed. The dog lifted his head when Tobias turned in his chair to look at the husky. "She's alive, Hyper," he smiled broadly, feeling the same incredible joy like back in the bunker on Mindoir. The sensation running through every fibre of his body was indescribable, filling him with sudden desire to jump and scream, and so he at least got up and moved to kneel in front of the dog, taking his furry head in his hands. "May's alive, can you believe it? Of course you can't. You don't even know her, but you would love her. I'm sure of it."

"You're talking again?" a soft voice said from the door. Tobias turned his head to gaze at Kara. Her hair was wet and she had a towel in her hand. She was wearing a blue shorts and a loose T-shirt with a picture of a yellow dog on it; her nightclothes. "That's good," she added and smiled, rubbing water off her hair long brown hair with the towel. "I was worried. Carol and Peter too."

Tobias let go of Hyper's head and straightened, kneeling in front of his bed. "I'm sorry," he said seriously. "I didn't want to upset you in any way." This was strange. His moods had never bothered his parents, or at least they had never showed they were bothered by them.

Hyper whined, demanding attention.

Kara smiled and quickly wrapped the towel around her hair. She walked in, joining her stepbrother. She sat down on the bed and scratched behind Hyper's ear. "We're family now. Whatever happens to you, influences us all. We wanted to help you, but you refused to let us in," she said in a voice that simply couldn't belong to a ten-years-old. Her eyes were locked with the large electric blue orbs of their dog, while she was talking. "You can count on us, Tobi. We're here for you."

He made a sad face and stood up, his every move followed by the dog's curious eyes as he sat down on the bed beside him. Burying his fingers into his rich fur he sighed. "You shame me, Kara. You're so young and you seem to know so many things about life."

"Experience," the girl shrugged. "I've been through the same, remember?"

"Yeah..." he mused silently, absentmindedly stroking Hyper's back. "What...I mean...if you don't mind me asking, what happened to your...parents?" he asked hesitantly, not sure how the girl would react.

"My father died before I was born," she said simply. "But he was a good man, Mom used to say. He dedicated his life to helping people all over the world who weren't as lucky as us. Poor and sick, you know? Eventually, he passed away, though Mom never told me how. As for her, well...she drowned. It was an accident. A bad luck."

"I'm sorry."

"I miss her," she smiled sadly and snuggled to Hyper, hugging him. "This sweetheart helped me a lot. Peter bought him when they adopted me three years ago. Whenever I was sad he knew it and didn't leave my side. Always with me, always trying to cheer me up."

As if knowing she was talking about him, Hyper whined loudly and then closed his eyes, enjoying the girl's close proximity.

"Explains why he's become my shadow," Tobias said with a smile. _Does May have a shadow like that as well?_, he wondered inwardly.

...

John had to admit he really enjoyed the day with May. It was as if there had never been any gap when they didn't see each other. They could talk so easily John thought as if he'd never left her and known all her secrets and heart desires. And she was talking to him, really talking. She was smiling and laughing and she was so happy. She told him so many things, about the Citadel and life back on Mindoir.

The boy he'd thought her boyfriend turned out to be just a friend, though a very close one. She didn't say it, but from John's point of view he'd got the notion that the boy wanted more, but Maya seemed blind to his hints. Maybe because she'd had crush on Sean.

"_Sean?! Really, Maya?"_

"_Heh, what can I say? You should have seen him. He was…well…looked a little bit like Kaidan. Dark hair, brown eyes, tall…heh, only more sunbathed. I miss the sun. It was so warm, not like this…"_

"_It is warm, May. This is one of the warmest autumns I remember."_

"_Now you scare me."_

She was like this all the way to the speeder and home. Though John could remember being cold for a long time in the brain camp too.

And then his thoughts took a more dangerous path. He was going home and knew it would be empty. For the first time ever, the flat would be empty.

He'd made a mistake by talking to her. But after May's words he couldn't have helped it. They'd had several long hours ahead of them and nothing to do. He'd known his thoughts would have kept gnawing away at him anyway, so he'd soon found himself in the brig. No one had asked why he'd come. Not even _her._

_The light was sparse when the massive, heavy door slid close behind John, the only beam coming through the thin, elongated spyhole. _

_She seemed surprised to see him, lifting her head up to him. She sat on the bed, but when he entered she swung her legs off it as if to stand up, but reconsidered it at the last time._

_The silence stretched out for long as neither of them knew what to say. He could see her face faintly, the small dark eyes, her face lined with long black hair, her parted lips, trembling slightly. He was in advantage here; he knew all she could see was his silhouette. And he was glad for it. He wasn't sure what she'd see on his face otherwise."You don't have anything to say?" he said finally, his voice cold and firm. _

_She dropped her eyes simply. "I didn't want it to go that far."_

"_Then why did you let it go that far? You could have stopped it."_

"_How?"  
"You could have told me," he retorted, making efforts to keep his voice down. _

"_That's not so easy, John," she whispered softly, grimacing._

"_Hey, John," he started talking, taking a step closer to her, "I've made a mistake once and I regret it. And I'd like to make things right. How about that? Sounds like good start, doesn't it?" he hissed._

_She closed her eyes and whimpered silently. "They would have killed me."_

"_We'd have protected you." _

"_John…"_

"_Did you for just one second consider the impact it could have had on Maya?" he cut her off, not really wanting to hear her excuses. "Goddamned, she's a kid."_

"_I didn't know what Adam was up to. If I had, I would have stopped him…somehow," she chimed weakly. "I didn't like her, true, but I never wanted them to hurt her. Or you for that matter."_

"_They didn't," John said darkly, "you did."_

_She bent her head, the veil of her hair obscuring the view. But he could hear the silent sob and see her shoulders shaking. It was killing him to see the woman he loved like this, and was once again grateful for the shadow hiding his face. As another sob escaped through her lips he clenched his jaw firmly. "Stop it," he hissed. "It won't help you. It cannot undo what you've done."_

"_I know…"_

"_So stop it. It won't accomplish anything."_

"_I wanted to tell you," she whispered between ragged breaths. She raised her hand to press it to her face. "When Adam told me Maya had escaped him, I wanted to tell you she was on the Citadel. Until up to the point I didn't know she was there. I had no idea he wanted to kidnap her, John. I promised him to catch her for him, but I lied. I wanted to get rid of him, of Cerberus, of them all. You must believe me."_

"_How long have you been lying to me, Katherine? Since the brain camp? You were there because of them, weren't you? Have…have you ever loved me at all? Or was it a lie as well?"_

"_No!" she screamed and lifted her head up to him again. There were traces of tears running down her cheeks, her eyes bloodshot and her nose red from the crying. "I've never lied about how I feel for you. I do love you. I didn't plan to fall in love with you, but it happened. I didn't lie about it."_

_ "Do you know what the saddest part of this is?" he asked after a while of silence. "She still doesn't hold grudges. Even after all this she didn't actually say anything bad about you. She was defending you that you had no other option. In a way she wanted me to talk to you. And that's the only reason I'm here. She's just a kid, a sixteen-years-old teenager who should have her head full of boys and dates, and she was wise enough to overlook anything spare for the facts. She was defending the very person who hurt her," he said calmly, but inside he was raging. _

_ Katherine was quiet, even her sobs died down. Her breathing was still coming in short gasps, her whole body shaking, but she was quiet. Tears were streaming down her cheeks silently while she was looking at him, and he couldn't take the sight any longer. He turned around finally and opened the door, wincing when the bright light hurt his eyes. Without turning back he walked through the doorframe, using the back of his hand to hit the butting next to it to close it again and lock it._

Ever since that he couldn't get the sight from his mind. Whenever he closed his eyes he could see her in the dark, shaking violently. He could hear her weak voice, trembling as she fought her tears.

_Get a grip on yourself, man,_ he admonished himself, frowning at the back lights of the speeder in front of them. From the corner of his eye he could see May's face turned to him. He looked at her and noticed her eyes were on his hands. They were holding the wheel so tightly his knuckles had gone white. He loosened the grasp quickly and May frowned at this silent confirmation. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

"I haven't been eating all day," he lied. "I don't feel well."

There was a short pause as if she was chewing on whether to believe him or not, before she replied. "Right. Just five more minutes and we're home. I didn't have time to eat anything you'd bought before the Citadel, so you have plenty of food to choose from," she stated, hiding her hands in the sleeves.

It was apparent she didn't fall for it.

"You should eat something as well, when we arrive," he added silently.

"I will," she promised, "after I defrost." Defrosting meant warming her hands up under the running water while washing a single apple. She then wolfed it down quickly, eager to finally watch the interview.

"Headphones," John said firmly when she seated herself in the chair in front of the extranet terminal.

"Why?" she asked sweetly, turning to him with a mischievous smile. "Don't you want to hear yourself? I'm sure you were charming," she said, tilting her head to one side.

John fixed her with a glare. "Head…phones…" he said and turned around. He knew she was just teasing him and would put the headphones on. Now his grumbling stomach demanded his attention.

He didn't even have the time to take the first bite of his sandwich when he heard the door bell. "Door – open," he said and finished the motion, nodding welcome to his friend while chewing happily.

Kaidan walked inside, already stretching his hand to give him a little box he was holding. "One day you'll forget your own head somewhere," he said and his head turned to left, drawn by a red smear at the edge of his vision; May's hair. She didn't seem to notice him, nor hear him for that matter, as she was staring at the screen, a soft half-smile on her lips while watching her brother's interview. Kaidan had already seen it. "Lucky you to have me," he added, focusing his attention back at his friend.

John chuckled and swallowed. "Lucky Maya," he corrected him. "It's her new omnitool," he opposed and nodded towards his sister.

"What happened to her?" Kaidan asked, pointing at his own face.

"Hit by a gun's butt, but she's taking it well even though it must still hurt like hell. I don't get her. She's taking everything well. She doesn't look much, but she's strong and capable. Hell, my team's short a tech pro right now and if she were anyone else I'd offer her the job any second," he stated and took another bite. He wasn't very fond of sandwiches with nothing but vegetable, but he was hungry and beggars can't be choosers, right?

Kaidan looked at May when she chuckled. "You're kidding," he uttered.

"That's the worst part of it. I'm not. Believe me, I've got an eye for talents. Few weeks of training and she'd be…" he trailed off, his eyes on his sister, watching her intently.

"You of all people should know it takes more than a strong personality to join the Alliance," Kaidan opposed, leaning against the kitchen desk with his elbows. Maya was grinning widely now and he found he liked the sight.

"I know, but she's much more, trust me. Something she said to me today makes me think she would make a great marine if she wanted."

"So that's why you want to train her? I'm not going to help you if this is the case. She should choose…" A friendly slap on his back stopped him, drawing his attention to John again. The marine shook his head. "No. I want her capable of protecting herself. This is no Mindoir, Kaidan. And I'm a Vanguard. I know how to kill quickly and efficiently, but defence is my weak spot. I need _you_ to teach her that. You know, the barrier and so on."

Kaidan took a breath to respond, but the most surprising sound stopped him. A genuine laugh escaped May's lips as she bent her head forward, putting of the large headphones. "My, John, you were so mea…" she turned towards them and froze for a moment. "Hey, Kaidan," she recovered from the surprise quickly and smiled at him. "Didn't hear you coming."

"Because you were so absorbed in the vid," John said calmly and without giving any in-advanced warning he tossed her the little box. Maya, still holding the headphones, clumsily caught it, trapping it between her body and both of her forearms. "What is it?" she asked as she tried to finally put the headphones aside without dropping the box.

"Why don't you find out?" he replied quickly and turned his head to Kaidan. "How was Rebecca when you left?" he asked as quietly as he could while Maya was struggling with the tiny box.

Kaidan simply shook his head, understanding he didn't want May to hear.

"I'm sorry for her," she whispered nonetheless, watching the little device in her palm. "Is the Alliance going to help her like it helped us after Mindoir despite what Jereth did?" she asked with concern.

"I think she's going to end up with her grandparents," John mused.

"Better than nothing," the girl murmured and stood up. "Thanks, John. I appreciate it," she raised her hand with the omnitool. "Why are you here by the way?" she turned to Kaidan and then sighed when she caught him staring at her cheek. "Before you ask, no – it doesn't hurt anymore," she lied promptly.

"I'm sorry," he replied simply, looking away from her.

"It wasn't your fault," she shrugged, not really seeing where he was going.

"Maybe not directly," he admitted, "but if I had accepted your offer, I could have been there to help you."

She shrugged again, but this time there was a soft smile playing on her lips, and when she looked away from him it turned into shy. "Or they would have killed you."

"May's right," John nodded. "They wanted her alive, but nothing would have stopped them from actually putting the rifle to use and…"

"...they did use it," Maya reminded him, pointing at her own face. "See the ugly green thingie all over my face? Adam's signature," she smiled despite herself.

She looked so different when she was smiling, Kaidan couldn't help but notice. Merry sparkles twinkled in her eyes and her whole face lit up brightly. Maybe John had been right about her. He doubted many people would get over the incident so quickly.

"He'll get what he deserves," John reassured his sister, laying a hand on her shoulder and squeezing lightly.

"Yeah...the trial," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "Soooo eager to testify," she added and took a step back. "'twas nice seeing you again, Kaidan," she smiled at him and turned around, her head bent down to the new omnitool while making way towards the sofa. A dim orange light enveloped her arm just as she sat down, concentrated expression on her face.

"Insufferable, isn't she?" John asked.

"She's just like you," Kaidan responded calmly.

"Thanks, bro. I think you should go," John frowned at his friend.

May laughed at that, lifting her head up to look at the pair before focusing back on the omnitool. And just as the door closed behind Kaidan, she sprung to her feet, leaving the omnitool on the sofa. John paid her a questioning look which she ignored as she passed him by. She quickly left the flat, catching up with Kaidan as he was waiting for the elevator to arrive.

"Can I ask you a favour?" she asked before he had the chance to ask what she was doing here. "I'd be very grateful if you helped me a little bit with John."

He drew his eyebrows together, giving the girl in front him a searching look. "I…don't understand."

She rolled her eyes the way only teenagers can do it, making you think you're a complete fool. "Come on, Kaidan, you must see he's not himself," she said, shifting her weight impatiently. She looked over her shoulder to check the door as if to make sure it was still closed. "He's trying to appear like everything's fine, but I can see right through him. He's agonizing over Katherine and that's the worse thing he can be doing right now. Could you come tomorrow about this time to get him out? He needs to take his mind off her, meet new people maybe. Could you do this for me? Please?"

Kaidan's eyes moved to the door of John's flat for a moment, before focusing back on the green orbs giving him an imploring look. It didn't seem real; from the mere look you wouldn't tell the two of them were relatives, but their nature was the same – the other's wellbeing meant everything for them. "Let me tell you something. He doesn't deserve you," he said quietly.

"Is that yes?" she asked, her eyes twinkling happily. "Thanks," she smiled at him, looking relieved. "You're a great pal, Kaidan. I owe you. Eh…just don't tell him I asked you to do it, okay?"

"And what if he asks what we were discussing right now?"

"I was reassuring you that you don't have to worry about…anything that happened. That it wasn't your fault," she said quickly as if she'd already given it some thoughts.

_Yeah, John is definitely right. She is much more_. He nodded and she smiled again, touching on his arm briefly, before heading back. Before the door closed again, he could hear John asking what she was doing.

Maya didn't even bother to look at her brother while answering. "Well, what do you think? Making out. Thanks for the omnitool, by the way. It's absolutely flawless. Better than Sean's," she offered him an innocent smile before she buried herself in the orange world of her new toy she had to explore.

* * *

To be continued. I'd like to thank you for reading and for your support and all the wonderful reviews you keep posting. They mean a lot to me, so thank you.

For **Lyv**: Thank you :) I was really looking forward writing the particular dialog and I'm glad it turned out the way it did. As for Kaidan, I know his role in this chapter wasn't all that large or great, but I still hope it pleased you at least a little bit :)

For **miamispice**: Thank you so much for faving the story :) (I would have written you sooner, but you have your PMs disabled, which you probably know)


	12. Come back soon

Dislcaimer: I don't own ME

* * *

It was soporific. The soft murmuring sounds of the running engine, the gentle rocking as the speeder was making its way through the morning city, its interior pleasantly warm. But it wasn't meant for the sixteen-years-old teenager to sleep. "Wake up, sis, we're here," John's silent voice sneaked its way into May's tired mind mercilessly. She grumbled discontentedly and frowned, pouting. Then she heard him chuckle just before the roaring of the speeder's engine finally died down. The silence didn't last long, however. "Come on, sleepyhead. It's morning."

"It's not," she muttered and managed to open her eyes. "Just look," she protested feebly, pointing outside. "It's still dark out there."

"Well, it's an early morning. Come now, let's go," he patted her leg and then a wave of cold night air invaded inside, attacking the defenceless girl swiftly. Maya whined helplessly and hid her hands in the sleeves of her anorak, glad she'd put on a warm woollen cap as well. "I hate you," she growled, gritting her teeth when she exited the car as well. The lights blinked twice when John locked the car after she was out.

"Where are we?" she asked, looking around confusedly, still half-asleep. "What is it? A gym?" she pointed at a large building with arched roof. It could have two levels tops, with numerous rounded windows just under the roof to deliver as much light as possible.

"Exactly," John answered, putting his hand on May's back, making her go faster.

"I'm still sleeping, John," she mumbled, still unable to forget it had been six o'clock in the morning when they left the flat.

"Then wake up and quickly, I'm not going to go soft on you," he promised, drawing another dissatisfied grunt from her. "Hate you…hate you…I hate you so much, John Shepard!"

Once inside, John headed inside the gym to turn on the lights, while Maya slowly trudged down a long hallway to a changing room. She didn't bother to close the door when she dropped John's sport bag she was holding on the floor. She sat down heavily on a bench, sighing. "Sleep…" she murmured while fumbling for the zipper to unzip her anorak. She was striping slowly, goose bumps prickled all over her body once the cold air touched her. She took a sharp breath, hastening her movements. As quickly as she could she changed into her sport gear and went to the gym, dragging the bag behind her.

John was waiting for her, standing above a mat. "Took you long enough. What were you doing?" he asked her impatiently as if they didn't have the whole day for whatever he had in store for her.

"Shivering with cold if you must know," she frowned, her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt.

"Alright, if you're cold, let's warm up a little," he nodded, his expression neutral when he pointed around the gym. "Ten rounds."

"What?" she asked, her eyes bearing into her brother.

"Running. Around. Ten times. You need to get your muscles warm before we start."

"Eh...I think I'm getting warmer with every passing second..."

"You've got ten of those seconds of yours left before I drag you around the gym, in my pace."

She frowned at him. "I pity your squad," she growled, but finally obeyed him. John's eyes followed her every step as she was jogging slowly. After five rounds she started pulling up her sleeves and after another two she pulled the sweatshirt over her head and dropped it on a bench near the entrance when she passed it by. John smiled and crossed his arms in front of him. When she was done and she ran up to him, she was flushed and her breathing was quickened. She bent over, resting her palms against her knees while trying to catch her breath. She gave up the effort short after that, collapsing on the mat under John's feet with a loud grunt, closing her eyes again. "I'm...dead..." she whispered, wiping the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand.

"Oh no," John laughed at the sight of her. "No lying. You need to stretch now. Get up, get up."

"I'm not a morning person, John…" she managed to whine before he pulled her up effortlessly. Cursing inwardly she started following her brother's instructions what to do. Her hearbeat returned to normal by the time they actually started with the martial arts, starting with the basic stance. And Maya had to admit he proved to be a very patient trainer. Even after correcting the distance between her feet or the way she kept poking her elbows out for what seemed like a hundred times she was the irritated one.

With a heavy sigh she let her arms fall to her hips, and frowned. "I've been standing here like this for hours," she complained, rubbing her sore thigh muscles. She had to keep her knees bent slightly to take more stable position, and her legs had been protesting fiercely against this unusual exercise. Her arms were aching, too, but since she couldn't massage both, she decided her legs had been suffering more, thus deserved the attention.

John's eyes, twinkling with amusement, checked his watch. "Two hours and twenty three minutes. Twenty four," he specified.

She sighed again and allowed herself to collapse on the mat. "Everything hurts...arms...legs..." she whined.

"And we haven't done anything yet," John stated calmly.

"You're positively scaring me," she said and closed her eyes. "I'm tired. It was so very nice of you to bring me the mat," she added and a contented smile formed on her lips as she lied sprawled like a cat across it.

"That's not for sleeping. It's for falling."

"Falling?" she echoed and opened her eyes, propping on her elbows. "I'm good at that," she stated while looking up at him.

John only smiled and held out his hand to help her on her feet. "Don't speak too soon, May. Now get up and go have a drink. You deserve a break."

It seemed like an easy task. Falling. But the falling her brother had in mind wasn't that easy. Although it definitely looked like it when John showed her what to do. However, when it was her turn to roll over one shoulder and stand up facing the opponent behind her, she ended up nearly knocking the wind out of herself. And John had hard time trying not to laugh.

"Stop it, "she growled breathlessly, coming to him. "I feel like idiot. Why don't you teach me something useful? Like how to make you a black eye or something? I'd love that right now," she went on muttering angrily while massaging her back.

"For the sake of my face, no. We'll go on with the fallings. But let's do it differently. Kneel on one knee," he ordered and she obediently obliged, already bracing herself for another blow to her back. "Don't jump the way you did. Keep your chin close to your chest, like this, and to one side," he instructed her, tilting her head forward and to the right a little. "Put your hand on the mat. Exactly. Now roll over. Slowly this time. You should touch the mat with your left shoulder, and shoulder blade, across your back and right hip" he was describing, his hand touching her on the back as he spoke.

"I got you the first time," she said, frowning. "Theory's easy. The realization's worse."

"I was the same when I started," John tried to encourage her. "Just try it again, and you'll see it will be easier this time."

"Promises, promises," she mumbled, but did as she was asked. Her eyes shut tightly, teeth clenched, she moved forward slowly. The world spun around her and suddenly she was crouching again, safe and sound. She let out the breath she didn't know had been holding when she turned around with a broad smile. "I'm alive!"

"See?" he asked. "Only next time, you cannot stay with your back to your enemy. That would be like inviting them to strike you. You must quickly whirl and immediately stand up, taking the stance I've been trying to teach you to be ready for their attack."

"One step at a time, John," she smiled at him. "For now, I'm glad I'm still breathing." Her voice was so frank and sincere, that John couldn't help but laugh as well.

The progress was slow, but eventually she managed to fall without hurting herself much even while standing. Though her technique was a little bit clumsy, John made no comments about it, knowing she'd improve in time. For now he was glad she was able to fall whenever he shoved her from behind; that was the closest they could get to a real attack. She knew John would sooner or later push her, but the exact timing was unknown to her. And she even learned to turn around in the process, ending face to face with him, her arms in the air in front of her face, a concentrated expression in her eyes.

"Elbows," was all John had to say for May to realize she had to keep them close to her body.

"You're not stable. Bent knees."

"Legs a little closer."

"Keep arms up, protect your face."

The backwards fall seemed easier for her, or maybe she finally got to the bottom of it. The punches and kicks she learnt even faster and when John started teaching her the basics of defence, he couldn't help but be impressed. There was no doubt she was a talent. And maybe that was a little bit unnerving. She seemed to enjoy the training and a question started echoing in John's head. What if she started liking it even more? To the extent that she'd eventually wanted to follow in his tracks and join the Alliance? She was already good with her omnitool and good technicians were hard to find those days, which would be a great advantage if she really wished to become a marine like him. Besides, she hadn't expressed any interest in what she'd like to study after her final exams yet. But John wasn't a new guy anymore, and knew how precarious the job could get.

"Is something the matter?" she suddenly asked him, relaxing from her fighting stance. She was sweating heavily, her face flushed as she licked her dry lips. A sign of thirst. He'd been so focused on using the right amount of force to make her put some efforts into her defences, yet not to hurt her if she accidentally wasn't quick enough to block his hand, that he hadn't noticed it before. Why hadn't she said anything?

"Go have a drink," he said softly. "And something to eat," he added, already heading towards the sport bag himself. He frowned slightly. He was known for his stoic face, unreadable expressions and reserved demeanour, but Maya seemed to always know what was going on in his head. She was good at seeing little hints, showing her great observational talent. Like in the car; his fingers holding the wheel tightly. Would many people notice that? And what was it now that betrayed his wandering thoughts? "And put the shirt back on," he recommended her after checking his watch. "We're done with the hand-to-hand combat right now."

She smiled again, grabbing her shirt from the edge of the mat. She'd been so warm she ended up only in her sport bra, though if anyone had suggested that when the day started, she would have considered them crazy, how frozen she had been. "I really enjoyed that," she uttered, waiting until he was done drinking, than taking the bottle from him, emptying it.

"I'm glad to hear it. We're continuing tomorrow," he nodded, taking the bottle from her hands.

"Are we heading home now?" she asked, putting her shirt on the bench before she knelt beside John's sport bag to dig out something to eat.

He looked at her shortly, then started heading towards the restroom to pour fresh water into the bottle. "Put the shirt on," he repeated.

"Still too warm," she rejected his idea with a flick of her hand.

"Suit yourself. Don't blame me later," he shrugged, turning his back to her.

She shook her head, ripping open a chocolate bar she found. This was a side of being a biotic she'd started to love. With a contented expression she took the first bite, enjoying the taste on her tongue as if it was a great delicacy she was eating. She finished the last piece by the time John finally returned, setting the full bottle on the bench next to her. Their eyes met for a few seconds before he disappeared into the corridor leading to the exit. She could feel a breath of a cold fresh air when he exited the building, though she had no idea why. She shrugged, taking the bottle again.

She understood very quickly, however, when he appeared again after a while accompanied by a person she definitely didn't expect to see. She swallowed the gulp she had in mouth quickly. "Hey, Kaidan," she blurted out, frowning a little bit, her eyes searching for her brother.

John noticed the questioning look she sent his way. "Well, Kaidan's going to teach you a little about biotic while I'm going to get us a proper lunch...rather belated lunch, if you consider eating it at fifteen hundred late," he added after checking his watch.

"Right..." Maya trailed off, turning away from the pair, her eyes desperately searching for the shirt she'd left somewhere earlier.

And John didn't miss her somehow stiff movements while she was reaching for it, and grinned. Next time she would obey. "I should be..." he started saying to his friend, but then he stopped. "Kaidan?" he addressed him slowly, Kaidan's head finally snapping away from now dressed Maya. "Dude, do me a favour. Next time you're ogling my sister her do it when I can't see it. Or better, don't do it at all."

"What? I-I wasn't…"

"You better," he said quickly, saving him the trouble to think of a completely unlikely excuse. Suddenly decided to let the matter drop, he quickly returned to what he'd wanted to say. "Anyway…I should be back within an hour. May?" he addressed his sister. She was drinking again, her back to both of them. When she turned around, she was blushing and John was sure she hadn't been that red even after several hours of training. "I'll be right back," he ensured her. "And don't drink so much. Slowly," he berated her. Sending a warning look towards his friend he spun around. And he already was having second thoughts about leaving when he walked through the front door of the gym. His speeder was parked few meters from the entrance, and he spent the whole short journey thinking.

Maya was sixteen, almost grown up. And she was...well...quite a...nice girl...

_Let's face it, John, she's much more than that and you know it,_ he thought, frowning deeply_._ Even though her features could be a little softer, the exotic eyes and hair made up for it with interests. And she was quite tall as well and slim thanks to her accelerated metabolism. Come to think of it, it wasn't all that surprising that Kaidan couldn't tear his eyes off her, not really. Not when John thought back to the brain camp.

Though Maya looked nothing like Rahna, there were other similarities connecting both girls. They were both kind and light-hearted. To John, Rahna had always seemed more mature than the rest of her peers and the same went for Maya. Maybe it was the experience. Childhood of all kids in the brain camp ended the day they had been brought there. Maya had been forced to grow up after Mindoir. And just as Rahna, even Maya – now when she was much better – could enjoy life as it was, trying to forget what had happened, or maybe blissfully ignoring it, trying to squeeze as much out of the life she'd been thrown into as she could.

And worse…both were biotics. And there was simply something indescribable between two biotics. After all, John realized with a deep frown, he knew at first hand how good it could get; the tingling, the static, the soundless whispering...he could get lost in all those sensations clouding his senses.

That was certainly not a way his thoughts should have wandered, he decided when he unlocked the speeder. _Wait, that's Kaidan we're talking about_,he thought when he got in. _He'd never do anything to hurt Jessica. Even though I sincerely doubt he loves her, officially they are together. _

When he turned on the speeder, one last thought crossed his mind: _And I'm sure he knows I will kill him if he tries anything._

...

Maya cleared her throat after a short while of awkward silence. "So? How do I do it?" she asked, looking away from Kaidan nervously. She should have listened to John. She could have avoided the whole embarrassing scene. Next time he'd say "put a shirt on" she would put her shirt on.

"Do what?" Kaidan asked confusedly.

She shrugged. "Biotics," she said simply, fighting the urge to turn away from him again.

He'd been staring at her. She hadn't seen him, of course, though apparently John had and spoken to him about it. Her translator, which she now wanted to rip from her ear and throw it kilometres away, had been kind enough to capture the soft whispering between the two biotics.

"I thought you've already..." he trailed off as if searching for the right word. To be frank: "I thought you've already done it" just sounded stupid in Kaidan's head considering the circumstances.

"Unintentionally," she nodded ever so slightly. "But I was crazy with fear and shock and…and I don't know how I even managed it."

_Yeah...manage. That's a nice verb,_ Kaidan's mind whispered. "Alright, so we'll have to start from scratch," he commented, more to himself then actually to her.

She bit her lip, waiting for him to go on, while he was thinking. He seemed to be in the same discomfort as her and she considered it just.

"You need to learn to focus first. To make the dark energy around you do as you will before actually start using it to move objects," he said hesitantly, not meeting her eyes.

Now she really started enjoying this. He was even more put off than her, it seemed. "How do I do it?" she repeated her earlier question, tilting her head to one side. "Will I glow like they do in the vids?" she added another question, smiling softly.

"Yes," he nodded, finally looking at her, frowning. "Alright...could you sit on the mat over there?"

She nodded, walking over the mat. She sat down on it comfortably, with her legs crossed.

Kaidan sat on the other side of the mat, facing her. "Right, since you don't know what to do, I don't expect you could move even a light object, like you did on the Citadel, so we should focus on the...focusing," he said clumsily. "Once you do, you're doing good job of controlling your nervous system, and you're a step closer to actually using the dark energy to manipulate things around you."

"Show me," she whispered. "I'd like to see you surrounded by the blue aura. It looks so...I don't know...it's great."

Kaidan paid her a confused look, making a short pause. Probably wondering whether he heard her right or not. "What?" he blurted out eventually.

"Come on, it's not such a big deal," she grinned.

For a second he averted his eyes, closing them shortly. Some emotion crossed his face, but it was gone so quickly that Maya had no time to tell what it was. He frowned slightly, shaking his head. "I'm afraid I can't indulge you. I have my reasons for it."

"Oh," Maya mused, nodding. Something in Kaidan's tone told her she struck a nerve there. "I'm sorry. Let's...start with the...training then."

He nodded. "Just one more thing," he added and reached out to her. May tensed and her eyes widened when his hand got closer to her face, past by her cheek. She could feel his fingers brush her right ear tenderly as he carefully removed the translator, putting the earpiece into his pocket.

It was the exact opposite of the training she'd received from John. They were mostly sitting, motionlessly, doing what seemed like meditation techniques to Maya. She had to work with her breathing, had to feel every muscle in her body and be aware of the world around simultaneously.

The initial embarrassment was gone; she could feel herself relax more and more. Kaidan's silent voice was talking to her through the fog her mind created, instructing her what to do, when to hold a breath or when to release it, what to concentrate on. And she realized she was slowly starting to love his voice. As she was listening to it, oblivious to her smile betraying her feelings, she was less and less focused on his words. She could hear him talking, but the meaning was unclear.

As if knowing he wasn't any helpful anymore his voice faded away and the only sound she could hear was the slow beating of her own heart in her ears. And then she heard another sound. It was quiet or maybe it wasn't even there, it didn't make any sense to her. And maybe it wasn't sound at all, but something else. Whatever it was, however, it was the same _sound_ she'd _heard_ when John entered the observatory room. An air moving, giving way to _something_ silently, rippling like water surface. An unfamiliar sensation was spreading through her arms, pulsing in her fingers. This time the source wasn't away, this time it seemed to be around her, enveloping her whole body.

Her eyes snapped open quickly enough to see the blue glow around her vanish.

She smiled brightly, looking incredulously at her own hands as if she saw them for the first time. "How did I do it?" she asked softly, lifting eyes to Kaidan.

Kaidan's expression was relaxed, corners of his lips perked up a little. "How do you lift a finger?" he asked.

Maya frowned and gave him a questioning look. "I just...do it."

"But how?"

"I don't know. It's an impulse from my brain that makes the muscles move."

"With biotic it's the same. You don't have to know how, just know that when you want you'll do it. Just like now. Do you want to make a break and wait for your lunch? John should be back any minute."

"No way! I wanna do it again!" she laughed and closed her eyes again. Even with the fading bruise on her face she looked like a delicate doll to Kaidan. She was smiling softly, her face relaxed. From time to time her eyelids twitched slightly, her eyebrows moving together, but then a serene expression would settle on her face again. She looked so vulnerable now that it was hard to believe in few weeks she would be able to throw things around with her mind, breaking them.

_Come to think of it,_ Kaidan thought when he spotted the first hints of a blue aura forming around her fingers, _it might be even sooner._ He could still remember his beginnings. He'd been able to move light objects, to let them levitate a little. Thought knocking an adult man off his feet was something remarkable. True, her mental state had helped a lot, but it was already plain to see she was natural talent. Just like John. _Something simply runs in the family,_ he thought with a soft smile.

Tentatively he crossed the math quietly so that he wouldn't disturb her, stopping right in front of her. Reaching out he used his fingertips to gently brush the bare skin of her shoulder. And grinned when her eyes snapped open. "Ouch!" she yelped in surprise, her own hand covering her shoulder.

"Static," Kaidan shrugged. "Typical for biotics. It's like you've been walking over a carpet with a woollen socks," he explained.

She took a slow breath, her hand massaging the spot. "Is this going to happen whenever someone touches me?" she asked, her large green eyes full of questions. This world was so new to her, so strange, but she wanted to change that. This made her feel extraordinary and she liked the feeling.

"No," he shook his head. "Just on...certain occasions," he whispered, his eyes travelling across her face, down her neck and lingered on her shoulder. She'd moved her hand away so he could see the little red mark on her skin where she'd been rubbing it. His own hand reached out again, this time on its own accord, and gently rested on her arm, the thumb caressing the spot.

Her eyes followed the motion. "Such as?" she asked, her voice barely above the level of a whisper.

"When you get really...eh...emotional. Furious or passionate," he explained and made the mistake of looking to her face again. Her cheeks were flushed again, her lips parted. Her eyes were bearing into his with such intensity that he knew if he didn't turn away now he'd do something very, very stupid. And just as he was about to drop his hand from her arm and stand up, she took a slow breath. "Like," she mused, her eyes flickering over his face, "when you simply can't control yourself, can't look away or move…"

He didn't say anything. He could feel the slight tingling in his fingers and he knew she could feel something similar on her arm. Whatever madness it was, it possessed them both. That was the last rational thought when Kaidan's brain refused to work anymore. A soft, surprised sound escaped her when their lips finally met, but she didn't move away. As if afraid she would, Kaidan brought his hand up, intertwining his fingers through her hair, the other sneaking around her waist to pull her closer. Her lips moved in respond, deepening the kiss as she locked her arms behind his neck. Her body followed his pull, rising from her cross-legged position to kneel in front of him, pressing closer as he tightened his embrace around her. From where her hands were caressing his neck and scalp he could feel a tingling sensation was spreading and he could see a bright blue light through his closed eyelids. And then, without any warning, it was gone. Maya suddenly tensed and she gasped as if in pain. Her whole body started shaking and when he opened his eyes he could see she rolled her eyes and…went limp in his arms.

"May?" he whispered breathlessly. "May!" he practically yelled when he laid her carefully on the mat. Her eyes snapped open and she gasped, fighting to take a breath, all her muscles in cramps. She curled into a ball, gasping desperately. Kaidan's eye widened just as she blacked out again; he'd seen this already.

...

She could feel something on her face, over her nose and mouth, a breathing mask probably. She was hurting all over, all her muscles felt supersensitive, aching at the slightest move. Her head was killing her at the sound of a loud, piercing beeping, a regular sound that managed to wriggle its way into her brain like a needle. Even her eyelids seemed to hurt when she opened her eyes. She took a sharp breath when she could see nothing around her, except for a few blinking lights. The sound grew faster, in a rhythm with her now quickened breathing. Where was she?

What if she was still in the container? What if it all was a dream and only now she was finally awake?

The sound was blaring madly, racing with the beating of her heart when a panic took over her. She moved her arms, tubes connected to the backs of her hands. She was about to rip them out, to sit up, to pull down the mask and throw it away, when a door to her right opened, letting in a sharp white light that blinded her. She could hear her own voice shrieking, but she wasn't aware of doing so, and she lifted her arms, covering her face and head.

Another voice mingled in, a pair of hands pulling her own arms down. She was struggling, fighting, trying to break free, breathless. She could feel she was losing. She was so weak and she could do nothing about it. The hot tears streaming from her tightly shut were her only weapons.

"Calm down! Calm down! You're safe, just calm down, Maya!" A woman voice was whispering in her right ear and shouting into her left. "Maya, open your eyes, Maya!"

With her hands pinned down firmly, she looked at her captor and everything froze for a moment. The only sounds – the mad beeping and her heavy breathing.

There was a woman leaning over her, her short brown hair adorning her concerned face. She could be in her thirties, forties, it was hard to tell. "I'm going to let go now," she said quietly, using the opportunity of the girl's hesitation, "and you mustn't try to rip out your cannulas, alright?"

_Cannulas?_ May's eyes slowly left the woman's face, sliding down to her hands. They travelled around the room, lit by the light from outside, revealing a hospital room with lots of machines. Now she understood the beeping. She nodded, not letting her eyes from her surroundings.

The nurse backed a step, straightening. She then sat down on the girl's bed, smiling at Maya. "I'm so glad to see you awake," she whispered, reaching out to pull the mask down from her face.

Maya looked at it hanging around her neck. "Where am I? What happned? Where is Kaidan? We were…John! Where is John?!" she looked up quickly.

The nurse, Amy according to the name tag on her uniform, patted her hand reassuringly. "Calm down, Maya. I promise to explain everything, but first I must ask you a few questions. Will you answer me?"

She felt so confused and answering some questions was the last thing she wanted, but she nodded anyway. "O-of course."

She received another smile and the fist question: "What is your full name?"

"Maya Shepard," she answered without hesitation.

"Alright. When were you born?"

"On 11th April 2154."

"Where are you from?"

She was tired, aching and she understood nothing of this, but went on answering anyway. "Mindoir. Oh, no!" she twisted her face, closing her eyes tightly. "Earth. Vancouver. I'm from Vancouver now."

She could feel Amy's warm fingers wrap around her hand. "One last question. What is the last thing you remember?"

This time she didn't answer right away. Her eyes widened at the memory and she took a slow, deep breath. "Kaidan…" she mumbled, looking around the room again to check if he was anywhere nearby, biting her lip unintentionally. "We were…we were training. I'm a biotic. I've just discovered the ability. I don't even have any implants. What happened? Where is he? Where's my brother?"

The nurse's face saddened and her fingers tightened around her hand. Her palm felt so warm against May's. "I'm so sorry, my dear," the nurse whispered. "He had to leave not long ago, but he was so worried about you and had spent all the time he could with you. I'm sure if he hadn't received the important message he would have still been here," she tried to cheer her up. "He promised to return to you as quickly as he can though," she added, paying the girl a rueful smile.

"Oh, I…I see. Duty calls," Maya whispered, dropping her eyes to her hands. She couldn't almost recognize them. They were lying on her stomach, so white and transparent she could see her veins through it, a contrast to Amy's healthy colour. Unintentionally, she suddenly lifted her free arm and rested it on her left shoulder. "What about Kaidan?" she asked silently, her thumb stroking a certain spot. She closed her eyes for a moment and she could swear she could still feel his touch on her skin, the amazing wave it spread through her body. It was both painful and delightful and it was scaring her. It was so confusing.

"Kaidan, you say?" she paused for a moment. "Oh, that must be the other young man who'd brought you two days ago. Well, he left soon after that," she explained in sympathetic voice.

Maya's eyes grew wide again, thought this time for completely different reason. "Two days ago?" she echoed weakly. "I was out that long?"

"Over forty hours."

She took a quick breath, sitting up abruptly. The nurse reacted quickly, putting both her hands on May's shoulders, pinning her down again. "Not so fast," she said after Maya stopped resisting; she felt so drained. "You were lucky to survive, you can't hurry so much," she added.

"I was…lucky to survive?" Maya trailed off.

"The biotic training had to be really intense. I'm no expert in this, but it was just too much for your body. As I said, you were lucky they brought you here quickly," she explained.

Maya nodded wordlessly, looking away from Amy's concerned frown. The training had been too intense? It hadn't. They weren't training at all actually. They were…

It hadn't been the first time she kissed a boy, but it was unique nonetheless. Maya slowly lifted her hand again to touch her parted lips with her fingertips. They were so cold, but when she shivered, it was because of her memories. It seemed impossible. It was forty hours now, but for her it was a few minutes ago when she was in his arms. It had been crazy, she had no idea what she was doing, but she liked it. Until…

The nurse entered again, and Maya paid her a confused look; she hadn't notice her leaving. A man walked in after her, ordering the lights to turn on while giving her a smile. "Good morning," he said, approaching her bed. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

May's eyes were on the nurse who approached the other side of her bed. There was a syringe in her hand. "Like I'm getting bitten by a giant mosquito," she whispered when the nurse took her arm, tying a knot around it.

"Ah, sense of humour. That's a good sign," the doctor said, exchanging a smile with Amy just before the sharp needle penetrated her skin.

"Clench your hand," the nurse said and Maya obliged, watching the dark red liquid pouring into a transparent vial at the needle's end.

The doctor started checking all the machines she was connected to. "You had us scared for a while, young lady," he stated slowly.

"I'm no lady," she whispered softly, not meeting the doctor's eyes.

"What makes you say so?" the nurse asked and finally removed the needle from her skin.

"My life has made me a fighter," Maya said, shrugging with one shoulder since she didn't want to pull her other arm away from Amy while she was applying a plaster to the little mark.

"Well," the doctor nodded. Apparently done with the machines he turned to the girl. "You've definitely fought well for it."

"Every cloud has its silver lining, right?" Maya asked, feeling the corners of her mouth perking up a bit. "Who knows? Maybe one day I'm gonna make it a living."

"Just no more knocked out teeth," the nurse smiled and only then Maya realized the hole after one of her teeth was…well…gone, if you could say that about a hole. She frowned and lifted her hand to touch her cheek. "You've healed my face," she murmured after she couldn't find the scab.

"It's our job," the doctor smiled, watching Amy leaving them, taking May's blood samples with her.

"So…what now?" the girl asked slowly.

"We'll do a few more tests and if everything's alright, we'll let you go home," he smiled and turned around. "Now you should rest," he said. Turning the lights off again, he walked out of the room, closing the door. The bedroom wa once again drowned by darkness, but now it didn't look as scary. Nor did the beeping alarm her.

"Rest?" she repeated weakly. "I've been sleeping for two days," she added, but when she closed her eyes, she immediately fell asleep, not even minding the mask around her neck.

...

It was threatening to rain when Maya finally arrived in front of the block of flats where she lived. It took her almost the whole afternoon to find it, and she'd managed to get lost twice in the large city. But that didn't bother her. She had hardly noticed it, to be frank, since her thoughts kept her occupied enough.

According to the last blood sample Maya was fine, and so they had let her leave the hospital. She'd waited several hours in the hospital entrance hall for John to finally come for her, but he had never come. She'd gotten worried and regretted not having her new omnitool during the training. Now she'd had no way to contact him, to find out what was wrong.

He had received an important message. Maybe it had something to do with Adam or Katherine. Or Cerberus. Or something else. It could have been anything.

Maya stopped briefly to watch a man leaning against a speeder standing near the entrance to the building. He was tall, dark-skinned and well built. His dark hair was short cut and he had a sombre expression on his face. Moreover, he was wearing a military uniform. Their eyes met for a second and Maya suddenly knew something happened.

The elevator took a whole eternity before it finally reached the forty first floor, opening the door. Maya was glad; she couldn't stand to look at her own reflection in it. She looked so sick; her pale skin shining in comparison with the black cap she was wearing. She had dark circles under her eyes despite sleeping for almost two days. She gave a sneer at the thought of that, exiting the small cabin. She turned to left and punched the access code into the console next the main door. It slid open soundlessly and she walked in with a bated breath.

She didn't have to call out for John. She could see him through the opened bedroom door, packing his belongings into the very sport bag he'd had in the gym quickly. He was wearing his armour; that was the first time Maya saw it. It was black and dark blue, typical Alliance light armour. And he was armed; a collapsed assault rifle on his back, a shotgun slapped to the small of his back, a pistol on his hip.

He stopped packing at the sound of her feet and turned around, his arms holding a black shirt falling to his sides, the shirt slipping from his fingers.

May's eyes followed the fabric and she lifted her eyes to him only when she stepped over it, closing the distance between them. There were blood splatters on his armour and May's first reaction was to make a step back from him. That made him stop abruptly as if he hit an invisible wall. His expression unreadable.

"The…the blood. J-john, what happened?" she asked finally, breaking the tormenting silence. Her voice was hoarse from thirst.

His face remained stoic as he finally crossed the distance. Taking her gently by her elbow, he led her to the sofa and made her sit on it. He joined her quickly and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he said.

She waited for him to add anything, but when he didn't, she shrugged. "What for?"

"I had no idea the training might hurt you. I should have…"

"But it wasn't…"

"…known," he didn't let her cut him off. "Kaidan told me what happened."

"Did he?" she mumbled, looking away from him.

John nodded. "You were amazing…"

_Wait…what?!_ Maya's eyes widened and she quickly looked back at her brother.

"…learning to focus so quickly, but I should have known. I had the same problems before I got my implants. They grew less frequent after the surgery, but still appeared from time to time. Though only once was the seizure so strong," now it was him who couldn't look the other in the eyes. "When you stopped breathing, I thought…"

"John…"

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up," he went on, ignoring her feeble attempts to say something. "I'd been summoned to the HQ, they...they found a lot of valuable information on Jereth's storage disks," he said. That was what the men had been after in his flat. Not Rebecca, but his files. They had managed to erase the computer's harddisk, but – maybe thanks to Kaidan's intervention – they hadn't thought of searching the flat, or hadn't had the time to do so, otherwise they would have surely found them and robbed the Alliance of the sensitive data stored on them.

"I don't..."

"It took longer than I thought. And...it's not done yet," he added slowly. He took another deep breath before adding: "The SSV Hastings takes off in two hours."

And now when she actually had a chance to speak when he made a pause, she couldn't. With her mouth hanging open she stared at him speechlessly. She could feel her hands trembling so she fisted them and hid them in the sleeves of her anorak she hadn't put off yet. "How long?" she asked finally, her voice shaking.

He shook his head. "I don't know. Weeks, months...depends on what we're going to find on the..." he abruptly stopped, "...wherever the lead takes us."

"Didn't they know about me?" she chimed weakly. She hadn't minded him leaving her for three days, but this seemed…bigger. Worse off, it might be dangerous. It might be _mortally_ dangerous. Her eyes fell to his armour again, trailing over the blood.

"They do know about you," he said tentatively. "They asked me about the mission, the first time they did it."

She nodded, gulping, her throat dry. "T-they need you," she said in a trembling voice. "You are their hero," she went on and it felt as if it was some other girl talking. "And duty comes first." She conjured a smile on her face. "The bruise is gone."

A cool glove touched her weather-beaten face tenderly, and she closed her eyes, pretending she could feel the warm hand beneath. "I've noticed." Soon the touch was gone. "I've asked a friend in the Alliance to keep on with your training. Though no biotics until you have the implants. And that might take some time."

"Will I get news from you?" she asked. "I've noticed the way you dodged the question about Adam and Katherine in the interview. Anything Cerberus-related is classified, isn't it? Will you be allowed to call me from time to time? Or just send me a message? Anything to let me know you live?"

"Every day, I promise."

Smiling sadly, she nodded again. "It'll be good, you know? For you, I mean. I've asked Kaidan to take you out to have some fun, to make you forget, but that'll do, I guess," she shrugged.

At this moment his face lit up a little bit and he chuckled. "So no making out? That's good. At least I won't have to kill him."

"Right…" Maya smiled awkwardly.

"Not to mention I'd hate to tell Jessica about you two," he added and this time Maya simply stared at him.

"John?" A man's voice called from the door. Maya turned around and saw the man she'd met outside standing at the threshold of the room. "We need to go."

The marine nodded and stood up. Maya watched him disappear into his bedroom. She listened to the quick rustling, then the sound of a zip and then he emerged again.

"Don't say anything. No goodbyes," she quickly said before he could even take a breath. "Just go," she shook her head. She wasn't looking at him when he crossed the room. "Just…come back soon…and safe," she mumbled, not really sure if he heard her before the door closed behind him and the other man. The flat fell quiet, except for soft sounds of a sobbing girl.

* * *

To be continued. Thank you all for reading and posting all those great reviews.


	13. Decided

Disclaimer: I don't own ME_  
_

* * *

_Hey, May._

_ I'm not very good with words, so the easiest way to tell you this is to be straight. I've accepted a mission that takes me off Earth for some time. I can't tell you what it is, or where, and I'm afraid I can't even say when I should be back. _

_...  
_

Earth. The third planet from the Sun in the Sol system, largest of all its terrestrial planets. The Blue Planet, they called it, thanks to the large oceans covering most of its surface. John watched as the mass of white clouds covered almost the whole European continent, leaving only its south parts visible from the above. He'd seen this sight hundreds times before, but this was the first time he wished he was coming back already. Not because of him; he'd spent half of his life on space stations or ships. He didn't need to live on a planet. But someone else did. John would like to think it was solely for her sake that he was here. But there was other motive that drove him to agree with this mission.

He frowned and turned away from the thick window, heading towards narrow stairs leading to other decks of the ship. Though still wearing his civil clothes, soldiers standing on their posts saluted him as he passed them by, responding in kind.

He walked down the stairs and headed straight to the quarters he and his teammates had been given. He stood in front of the closed door for a second before he pushed the button in its centre to open it. The room it revealed wasn't large. It was just big enough for six bunks and lockers along the walls with a little table with three chairs in between. Two large sport bags were now on the table and another one on one of the chairs. John's own bag had been tossed on top of bunk closest to the door, waiting to be unpacked.

Three people inside stopped only briefly in their activities to glance towards the door.

The tallest of all three was a man around John's age with dishevelled brown hair. Crouched on the floor he was putting his things into his locker when the lieutenant entered. His name was Rick and he was the exact opposite of John. He was the joker of the whole squad, the one who always had some more or less witty remark to ease the mood when possible. He was also reliable and never let anyone down. He knew when to keep his mouth shut and do something. He was a good sniper too, efficient in combat situations and deadly.

The second member or his team was thirty five years old soldier, Tan. His features were a mix of Asian and European. He was calm and the only time when John heard him say something out loud was during combat or occasionally at briefings. Otherwise he rarely spoke a word. But he was indispensable when it came to action. Together with John, Tan was always on the front line, destroying any enemy in his path with lethal precision. Tan paused to look at John when the door opened and nodded slowly as a welcome, before turning his attention back to his bag, his black hair covering his face when he bent his head.

"Hey, sir," the last member greeted him. John's eyes snapped to Tanya who was sitting on one of upper bunks, smiling. She looked like a little girl to John; short, slim with big pale eyes and soft features she appeared to be delicate like a flower, but John knew better. She was much stronger than she looked and rather foul-mouthed. A result of growing up on streets. But she learned to know her way around thanks to it. She wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty either. She knew how to handle a gun and annoying men, as Ricked had had the pleasure to find out when they first met.

John had to chuckle at the memory when he nodded towards their medic. She saved life of each of them more than they could count and so they all tended to forgive her for her rather straightforward approach from time to time. "So…" her loud and cheerful voice brought him back to present, "any news or details about our job, sir? We don't know nothing yet," she grinned.

"Not yet. Plenty of time to brief you later. Now I came to tell you your lockers for weapons and armours are down in the hangar, ready and waiting for your gear."

"You're just the best, Lieutenant," she praised him, winking suggestively.

"Hey, Ya, it's called _battlefield_ flirting," Rick stated, giving Tanya a meaningful look.

"You know, It's called a black eye," she retorted, fixing him with a glare.

"You can't make my eyes any blacker than they already are, honey."

Tanya already took a breath to speak again, when John stepped in. "Stop the nonsense. Both of you," he growled. As amusing as their playful haggling could get sometimes, now he really wasn't in mood for it.

Rick shrugged. "As you say, boss. So what now? I take it we have some downtime?" he asked with a smile.

John shook his head. "I'm afraid the doctor wants you all in the med bay when you're done here."

A series of discontented sighs filled the room when he finished his sentence. Rick shook his head and Tanya rolled her eyes. Tan briefly looked at his two comrades and John saw him smirk at their dissatisfaction. "You know how things go, guys," he added.

"And after that?" Rick asked again, pulling a collapsed standard Hahne-Kedar sniper rifle out of the bag, examining it with care as if it was his beloved child. "Do we have some downtime after that?"

"If you're quick enough," John responded.

"Meaning we don't, I get it, I get it…" he mused, putting the weapon back in the bag. "See you later, guys. Sir…" he said and grabbed it, heading to the door. John moved to side to make space for him. _Just like always…_

"Sir?" Tanya addressed him, hopping off the bed finally. She landed gracefully, straightening before continuing. "We were wondering why we haven't seen the old coffin-dodger yet. Do we pick him up on the Citadel?"

John's face remained unchanged when looked into those pale, smart eyes. He noticed Tan stopped moving, interested in his answer, though he didn't bother to lift his head up to actually look at John. "Jereth's absence," John started saying after a short while of silence, "is related to our mission. I'm going to explain every single detail once your medical examinations are over," he added.

In silence his two comrades exchanged a worried look.

...

_ Well, that's enough for explanation why I'm not here and why you're reading this right now. It's just an excuse, but it doesn't justify why I left you in a hospital. That's the first time it bothers me I'm who I'm. But as a marine, duty comes always first. I swore an oath and I must keep it no matter what. I hope you can understand this._

_...  
_

Maya lay on John's bed, her hands resting on her stomach, her eyes staring at the ceiling above. She was cold; she'd left the window in the living room open and couldn't bring herself to get up to close it again. She sort of liked the fresh, cool air that had filled the flat.

Slowly, she lifted her hands, holding a datapad in her palms. She narrowed her eyes as she touched the display to make it brighter.

"I hope you can understand," she read out loud and sighed. She'd found the datapad on his bed after she'd collected herself and stopped crying like a little girl. It seemed John hadn't counted on meeting her before his departure and so he'd at least written her a message. Impersonal and reserved, but Maya had been touched by the gesture.

"Of course I understand, John," she whispered again, sitting up slowly. He was referring to his duty, but she knew better. There were things John had to do, and things he needed to do. And this was exactly what he _needed_ to do. "Just like I needed to go to school last Friday," she added with a soft smile and dropped her eyes to the datapad.

...

_ And maybe I was glad they called me off. Seeing you in the bed in the hospital, connected to all those machines was the worst thing I've ever seen. And it was my fault. I should have known what could happen. I've been through the same. But no. All I saw was your talent and how I could make it much more. You nearly died because of this stupid blindness. And I dragged Kaidan into it too. First he blames himself for letting the Cerberus SOB kidnap you and now you nearly die on his watch. I can even imagine what could have happened if I had tried to train you. I'm sure my methods wouldn't be as careful as his. By the way, he forgot to give me your translator (thought I have no idea why he had it in the first place), and asked me to come for it. I can't, obviously, but his address is in the attached file. _

_...  
_

Reluctantly Maya got off the taxi. She didn't close the door though. She turned around and peeked inside again. "Could you wait for me?" she asked weakly. "It'll be just a few minutes."

The driver shrugged, nodding, making a comment about including it to the final price.

"Of course," Maya uttered and closed the door finally, whirling to face a tall building not unlike Jon's block of flats. Maybe it was a little higher. Biting on her lower lip she set off towards it, thinking. The meeting would be sooner or later inevitable so she thought it better to be on her terms, and she had formed a plan in her head to make it less embarrassing for both of them. It was rather simple, based on an innocent lie, but the execution would prove more difficult, she knew. _If I handle this, I'm going to become an actress;_ she thought when she entered the building. It was cold inside, and she could feel the soft draught coming from…somewhere. With a shudder and a heavy sigh she headed towards the stairway; his flat was just in the third floor.

She hid her hands in the pockets of her anorak. Looking down at the stairs she slowly climbed them, each step more difficult than the next. _It's not that terrible,_ she tried to reassure herself. _Just stick to the plan and it will be just like before. If things get awkward, talk about the shirt._

She was rather reluctant when she knocked on the door and she took a deep breath. _Just act casual…don't look at his mouth or…wait a minute. Forman? I thought Kaidan's surname starts with a letter a…_ Just as the thought crossed her mind, the door opened, revealing a tall brunet. Her skin was pale, a contrast to her dark eyes that gave her a questioning look while scrutinizing her mercilessly.

Maya cleared her throat, shaking off the surprise. "Can I talk to Kaidan?" she asked in an as normal voice as she could muster.

"Who are you?" the woman barked out, frowning.

Maya, taken aback by her rather rude tone, blinked. "Shepard," she said. "My brother gave me the address. Kaidan has my translator and I'd like to have it back."

"May…" another voice sounded from within the flat. The woman – who Maya assumed to be Jessica – stepped away, letting May see the narrow corridor leading inside. "You know her?" Jessica asked in much kinder tone when Kaidan finally appeared.

"That's John's sister," he explained shortly and then turned to May, reaching out with his hand. As she accepted the translator, Maya noticed he was avoiding her eyes. "Thanks," she smiled despite herself. _Come on, come on, come on!_ "If you don't mind me asking, how exactly did end up with you?" she went on, determined not to look away. "John didn't know either," she added and gave a half shrug.

Jessica slipped past him inside the flat, but her steps stopped shortly after she disappeared, indicating she still stood within an earshot.

Now his hazelnut eyes finally met hers. "You…don't know?" he asked silently, as if sensing some kind of a trap.

Maya laughed shortly, though it lacked any humour. "No. I…actually…I don't remember much before I had that…seizure, or whatever it was," she waved her hand while using the other to put the translator into her ear. "Oh…sounds coming from every direction," she smiled, closing her eyes briefly.

"Hold a sec, you…claim you…have a memory loss?" he repeated and an emotion crossed his face. It was gone almost as quickly as it appeared.

"Eh…sorry…John told me you really tried to teach me something, but I don't remember any of it. Though according to him, I've learned something. Focusing or…stuff," she shrugged. "Are you sure you're okay, Kaidan?" she commented his dumbfounded expression. "Oh…it's the shirt, isn't it?" she lowered her voice. "That was…embarrassing. I'm sorry. If John had told me you were coming, I would have done something about it," she finished, carefully choosing her words so that Jessica wouldn't guess her meaning.

"Ah…yeah," Kaidan nodded, bringing up his hand to rub the back of his neck.

_He's not a very good liar,_ she thought with a slight smile. "Well…" she laughed and pointed at her head. "I've got what I came here for. So…the taxi's waiting for me," she gave him one last smile and turned around.

"Wait…you…do you really remember nothing?" he asked again. And when she looked at him, he started speaking quickly. "Because you made such an incredible progress in so little time. It's a pity you don't…remember. You'll be a good biotic one day."

"When John told me, I thought he just wanted to make me feel better. But, coming from you," she whispered, "I might even believe it." She dropped her eyes from him and started walking down the stairs.

The taxi driver watched her as she got in and seated herself, sighing heavily.

"You okay, kid?" he asked, turning his head to look at her. He was bald, but had stubble on his face.

She nodded and tried to smile at him. "Yeah. Could you take me back home, please?"

"Sure thing."

She sighed again and looked out the window as the speeder took off swiftly. She frowned at her reflection in it. He'd looked so lost, disappointed and…_hurt,_ she thought, closing her eyes and pressing her fingers into them. The emotion crossing his face quickly…

"So…actress, is it…" she whispered.

...

_ I haven't had the time to talk to your teacher, sorry. I hope it won't cause you any problems. I'll send her a message, later.  
_

_...  
_

She was decided. It was about time to finally scratch her whole past, to forget what she had used to be like and embrace who she was now. _Starting now_, she thought when she opened the door to the class. With her head held high she walked in and down the aisle between the desks. The classroom was unusually quiet as her classmates had stopped talking when she entered. It wasn't anything surprising, really. An orphan whose brother was the famous John Shepard? She'd be surprised if they hadn't been talking about her.

And she noticed their wannabe sideways looks, when she started pulling her things from her school bag. "You're not as inconspicuous as you might think," she said loudly, not taking her eyes from her belongings. They lingered on her omnitool. She wanted to turn it on and check her e-mails, but knew it was too early for John to actually write anything. Just because they didn't have nights and days on a ship, didn't mean they didn't know what time was back on Earth.

She finally lifted her eyes to gaze around and saw everyone looking back at her. She tilted her head to one side. "I wonder why you're like this. I've done nothing to either of you. I keep mostly to myself, but you just can't leave me alone, can you?"

She didn't expect them to actually say anything, so she wasn't in the slightest disappointed when the English teacher walked in the class, murmuring his good morning under his breath. She sat down, frowning. She was decided. If they wanted to talk about her, she'd give them another reason. She didn't care any longer what they could think about her. She hadn't care about it the whole time, but now the feeling was intensified. Just something over a year and a half and she'd never see them again.

_At least David will stop asking his stupid questions,_ she thought with a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"Shepard?" she heard, her attention snapping to Mr. Bricks quickly. His eyes were roaming around the room questioningly, as if searching for someone. "I had no idea we had any Shepard in here."

With a grin she stood up. "That would be me, Mr. Bricks," she said, now smiling broadly. "I'm new here."

His eyes lingered on her for a moment, his eyebrows slowly drawing together. "Oh, I remember. The girl with the strange accent. Right…where did you say you were from again?"

Now she couldn't help but chuckle. Now was as good a time as any to start. "Mindoir. That's how we used to speak on Mindoir," she said in loud and clear voice.

While others moved to look at her with their mouths hanging open, the teacher sat back in his chair, thinking. "Mindoir?

"Yes...before it was destroyed, you see," she shrugged nonchalantly. "But my brother says the Canadian accent has started to rub off on me and I'm here just for something over two weeks," she added.

That seemed to make him speechless.

"You claim to be one of the survivors?" one of her schoolmates asked. It was a boy with dark, dishevelled hair sitting not far from her.

"I do not claim anything. I am one of the survivors. Damn, I'm still half deaf from the explosion of the barracks. I was standing right next to it, chatting with the guy on duty, when the batarian ships hit it," she shuddered at the memory involuntarily. As if she could still feel the hot, burning air forcing its way down her windpipe, choking her. She cleared her throat, scanning everyone around her. Some couldn't believe their own ears, apparently, eyes of few had nearly popped out of their heads and the rest looked terrified as if they actually knew what she'd been through.

"So that's how your parents died..." a soft voice chimed. It came from a short, delicate blond girl sitting on the other side of the room, right next to David, Maya realized. Her blue eyes were wide with terror, sympathy written all over her features.

"Yes," Maya nodded, vaguely remembering her name. "You're right, Sabine. That's how they died. How my friends died, my former schoolmates, my neighbours and practically everyone I ever knew."

"How did you survive?" David asked too. And when Maya looked at him, she realized he didn't look surprised at all. She frowned slightly, thinking about what to say. "I was mostly lucky. I had some skills, too, and I had a help," she uttered eventually.

"This is very interesting, Ms. Shepard," the teacher spoke up again. "I've always been fascinated by the life you lead on colonies," he paused to take a breath. "Do tell me, girl, was living on Mindoir anyhow different from living here on Earth?"

"I don't know about other colonies, but Mindoir was pretty different from Vancouver. Firstly, we all had to cooperate to make a living. We were all the same and we needed each other, were dependent on each other…"

...

She didn't really believe it, but this time it was her who approached David after school was over. He stood in front of his opened locker, putting his datapad into it, apparently decided not to do his homework.

"You knew," was all she said as she stopped beside him, clutching her own datapad to her chest.

It took him a short while before he turned around, and Maya suspected he used the time to grin to himself. "What did I know?" he asked, smiling.

"You knew I was from Mindoir," she said, drawing her eyebrows together in confusion. "How?"

With a lopsided smile he slammed his locker shut. "Well…you moved into the city few weeks ago, right after a certain colony was destroyed. You were hurt, and you speak funny. And you seemed to know a lot about Mindoir defence. See? A piece of cake to put it all together. Besides, I know John Shepard's from there, which more or less confirmed my hunch."

Maya chuckled. "So you're not as stupid as you look," she tilted her head to one side.

"I'll take it as a compliment…" he shrugged.

"Fine," she mused and moved to turn around, but his hand swiftly caught her elbow. "Wait. It was brave to say it out loud though. Considering the way everyone's already whispering about you behind your back."

"I don't care, David. I stopped caring when I watched my world being burnt."

"You're brave anyway," he gave a shrug again, turning away from his locker.

"Aren't you going to take the datapad with you?" she asked him. "To do the homework for English lesson for tomorrow?"

"Nope," he shook his head, whirling to face her. "I don't care about English, when they're going to expel me for flunking Math," he said cheerfully, as if the prospect didn't bother him. The source of his good mood was soon revealed to Maya as he grinned and added: "Unless a certain brave and pretty redhead's willing to help me out. She has brains, you know. But I've got the impression she doesn't like me much, so…" he trailed off, waiting with a smile for her to say something.

She bit her lip, hesitating. She narrowed her eyes, pretending to think about it to make him nervous, but she was already decided. It wasn't like anyone would be waiting for her back home anyway.

"Oh, come on…you're my last hope," he said, pointing towards her with his hand.

"Alright…" she relented and David's grin turned into sneer. "You're not such an ice queen as I thought."

Maya blinked, not sure she heard him right. "Excuse me?!"

"Ice…queen…like all bitter and cold. I'm sure you were born in January…or May, in which case you shame your name."

"I must be hearing things…"

"Yes, you are. Are you coming? Math's waiting. And a cup of hot chocolate…I'm paying."

She sighed, but her legs moved on their own accord. "John…please…return soon," she whined quietly.

...

_ I've asked one of my friends to go on with the training. Kyle's a good guy. Though if he gets too…impudent, don't feel too bad about punching him. Wouldn't be the first time, don't worry._

_...  
_

Maya bit her lip and let her hand fall to her hips, her head up to check her score on the screen above. From the corner of her eye she could see a man standing next to her. She moved to look at him only to find him concentrated on the screen. His dark hair was cut short, grey eyes narrowing, forehead wrinkled as he was thinking.

"So?" she asked with a grin. "I told you I can use both hands."

Kyle nodded twice, bringing his hand up to touch his chin lightly, arm muscles working under his tight military shirt as he moved.

_Having a brother in the navy has its advantages...most of his friends are there too,_ Maya thought as she scanned the man from head to toe, grinning even more. Kyle looked like a typical Alliance soldier. Both muscular and athletic, with scars here and there, a few burns on his hands and arms with a look in his eyes that could make any girl melt.

"You were right," he trailed off, his eyes finally focusing on her. "Ever thought of using two pistols at once?"

Maya shrugged. "Nope. I've never even held one of these before," she pointed out, lifting her hand to examine a Kessler pistol in her palm. Her eyes were travelling forth and back over its body, not missing any single detail. She frowned as she regarded the weapon with sadness. She'd seen it before. Sean had been equipped with the same. _Standard Alliance Hahne-Kedar gun_, _figures._ "I prefer my omnitool to weapons," she added tearing eyes off the pistol.

"Omnitool?" Kyle quirked his eyebrow.

Maya slowly put the gun on a nearby table, just next to another pistol, and pulled up her sleeve to show the little device. "I've got a military one," she explained as she turned it on. A knowing smile spread across Kyle's lips. "I see," he said, leaning closer to the holograph around her forearm. Instinctively, Maya pulled away from him, turning the omnitool off. "But I suck at aiming," she said quickly, taking a step back. "Overloading is fine, but when I want to scorch something, I...well...I always miss."

"Incinerate."

"What?"

"That thing. It has a name. Techs call it incinerate."

Maya shrugged, raising her hand to rub at the back of her neck. "I didn't know it had a name."

"It does. And it also does a lot of a damage, when you hit your target, so we could work on that too," Kyle offered. "But now, finally, choose in which hand you're gonna hold a gun, so we can actually begin with the target practice," he said impatiently.

Maya sent the soldier a charming smile, reaching out with her right hand to grab the Kessler.

...

_ Safe for Kaidan's address, the file contains an account number and everything else you need to know. I'm going to send you money on it, since I don't know when I'm going to return. Missions like this takes long time…weeks…maybe longer. But I should be back before Christmas, I hope. I'd hate you to be alone at that time. _

_...  
_

It was simply something Maya couldn't wrap her head around. Though she had stopped trying a long ago, the artificial sun and breeze never stopped to amaze her. Few days ago she had been almost freezing to death, daily pushing her way through what seemed like tons of snow, and here she was. Sitting in the sun, drinking the most remarkable cocktail she'd ever tasted, actually enjoying herself.

She smiled when she heard heavy steps behind her. Still nibbling at the straw she turned around to watch her brother coming closer. He was wearing his BDU and Maya was glad he'd decided not to bring any weapons. _Sure, you stupid, he doesn't actually need them,_ she thought when he approached her, apologizing for being late even before seating himself.

"Hey, that's okay," May waved her hand.

"No, it's not. In few hours you're leaving for Earth again and…why are you grinning like that? What are you drinking?" he added and shot his sister a suspicious look.

"I don't know," she shrugged, examining the half-full glass. "I asked the waitress to surprise me.

John frowned and reached across the table for the glass with bright red and yellow liquid. Maya had to laugh at that. "It's just a juice mixed with some other stuff, all non-alcoholic, don't worry. I'm not that stupid to order an alcoholic drink when I'm to meet my dearest brother," she added with a mischievous grin. "As for your question, I was smiling because I like it when you shake off the I-am-the-tough-soldier demeanour and you're just my brother. You know, I really hated the way you behaved when you picked me up in the spaceport. I was really terrified coming on the Citadel again," she reminded him. She'd reminded him probably a hundred times before, whenever she wanted him to feel bad and to her a favour.

John shook his head, turning it away from her. His eyes wandered over the view of the Presidium Commons, lingering on the artificial sky. "You're impossible."

"Well, just like Kaidan said. I'm just like you. Could you hand back the drink? I'm thirsty. Why were you late, by the way?" she asked after she took another sip, ignoring the straw now.

"Alliance business. We're leaving tomorrow and we had to..." John paused when an asari waitress approached him. Maya once again started playing with the straw, watching with narrowed eyes as he ordered a glass of ordinary sparkling water. _So still on duty... _"Haven't caught all the bad guys yet?" she asked, watching the asari's swaying hips as she made her way between other tables.

John followed her look and raised his eyebrows when he realized what an object of her interest was. "I didn't know you were into asari," he said, avoiding her question altogether.

Sensing his reluctance to discuss anything about his mission, she accepted the new topic. "I wish I could sway my hips that way. Just look at her, she looks like she isn't walking, but...I don't know. Floating. So graceful."

"Eh...agreed."

May started snickering. "Stop stripping her with your eyes, John," she whispered and then her face turned serious. "Hey, can you do that? I mean, can you use your biotics to..."

"Don't go there."

"So you can!"

"Maya Shepard..."

"Well, happy New Year to you too, Mr. Grumpy."

...

_ I haven't had the time to do it yet, but I'm going to contact a guy from the Alliance who should be able to get you your implants. If he contacts you, do as he says and don't be afraid of it. It's a little bit unpleasant from the beginning, but you'll get used to it. By the way, no biotics until you have the implants. And don't worry. Only the best for you - L3._

_...  
_

The room was dark and filled with silence. May felt a little dizzy and almost every other minute her hand went to the back of her neck, fingering gingerly the source of her exhaustion. She was moving carefully, even slowed down her breathing, anything to keep the strange feelings from shooting up and down her limbs and spine again.

"Area secured..." the dark blue orb next to her stated, whirling its layers quickly around its bright body. In swift, fitful motion it floated around the whole flat and finally rested above the sofa beside her again, turned towards the large screen as if really watching it even thought it was shut off.

She moved her head slightly, another wave of vertigo washing over her, blackening the edges of her visions. "Yeah," she whispered, leaning back comfortably. She closed her eyes and willed for her strength to return, swearing to herself to never ever try to use biotics without a proper training ever again. _Yeah, you swore the same thing yesterday, and the day before that and the day before that and ever since you got the implants a week ago_, she reminded herself. They had warned her to let her body used to the alien technology, but she was too impatient and reckless to listen to the doctors. She had liked the feeling when she'd focused the biotic energy for the first time.

_Or maybe it was what came afterwards that made me like biotics so much, _a silent voice in her mind whispered, making her scowl.

She opened her eyes again, straightening. She reached out with her hand to get a glass of water she'd left on the window above her head. If she'd done so before instead of trying to use biotics to pull it towards her, she wouldn't have had to feel so drained now.

"No hostiles detected."

The water was pleasant and cool against her lips while she drunk. She knew she shouldn't be thinking about him, but she couldn't help but wonder what Kaidan was doing. She'd seen him a few times, true, but each time it was just a complimentary visit to make sure she was okay, rather than to actually stay and chat with her. She could tell he felt awkward around her, and she had tried her best to appear casual, since she'd claimed she remembered nothing of the kiss, but every time she had seen him it grew more difficult.

Would he again lead her biotic training? Or would John? What would her brother say if she requested having Kaidan teaching her? And would that be wise?

_Come on, he's taken. Stop fantasizing about him. You should be more curious about Tobias, but you barely think about him these days..._

A soft knock brought her back to present. She watched the dark blue sphere move from her side, uttering: "Area secured," somewhere on its way towards the door.

_Get a grip of yourself..._ she chided herself and took a breath. "Lights – on. Door – open," she commanded and smiled when the door revealed her two friends. Sabine smiled at the drone as it welcomed her and David and walked in, watching the sphere making way for them. Maya rose to meet them and the girls embraced shortly. „Happy B-day, May," Sabine whispered into her ear, before pulling away. "Oh, you look so tired," the blond added.

May waved her hand. "If I got a credit every time I hear this one," she laughed.

"Hey, make space," David said, already coming forward. Sabine stepped away from May and looked away, smiling as he wrapped his arms around May's waist, bringing her close for a tender kiss. The smile on her face when he pulled away was strained however, and she was cursing herself for thinking about Kaidan just moments ago.

"My...so much food," David said as his eyes fell on the coffee table.

Sabine shook her head. "That's not food. That's chocolate and crisps and..."

"...something that's going to give you a stomach ache once we're done with it," David didn't let her finish, already slowly putting down the backpack he had. "Now...May, close your eyes. And don't cheat, I know you always cheat."

She smiled, genuinely this time, and covered her eyes with her hands. When David and Sabine in unison told her to open them again, she couldn't help but squeak and cover her mouth with both her hands when she saw their gift. "Oh, this is just so cute…" she chimed, slowly reaching out to take the little creature from David. "I'm not from Earth so don't laugh, but what is it?" she asked and watched the little something sniff at her hands. It squeaked after that and started wiping its tiny little paws across its mouth.

"That's a hamster," Sabine smiled, reaching out to scratch it behind its ears. "Earth's rodent. And we knew you wouldn't what what it is. It's a boy, by the way."

"Oh, aren't you the cutest hamster ever," Maya smiled, bringing the animal closer to her face to examine it "Oh, do I get to name it?"

"Of course," David nodded, grinning broadly. "It's all yours. Now when your brother's not here, you'll at least have someone to talk to."

"No hostiles detected."

"Other than that thing anyway," he added with a shrug and pointed his thumb towards the drone floating around them. "And don't worry; we bought you everything you need for it. The cage, drinking basin, some food…" he was listing on his fingers.

"How about…eh…I don't have imagination for such things…Hamster? What do you think, little one? Do you like Hamster?" Maya asked, not really listening to him.

"Hamster's stu…" David started saying, but Sabine quickly nudged him in the ribs. "Hey, it's your hamster. Call it whatever name you want," she said and smiled. With her hands behind her back she started rocking to and fro on her feet. "So you like Hamster?"

"I love him!" Maya nodded, carefully trapping the little pet inside her palm before she used her free arm to hug her friend.

"Hey and what about me? It was my idea," David spoke up and tapped May's shoulder. She pulled away from Sabine and looked smiled at him. She put one arm around his neck to bring him closer and kissed him. "That's the most awesome gift ever," she whispered into his lips and kissed him again. Hamster squeaked from between them.

...

_2176_

The music was blasting in the flat, making it impossible to hear what a person next to you was saying. Even thinking seemed much more difficult now, or maybe it was the beer's fault. _Maybe both,_ Kaidan thought as he examined the half-full bottle in his hand. He swirled it, watching the surface whirl inside through the dark glass. Then a movement caught his attention and he lifted his eyes. Smiling a little he watched his friends trying to perform a dance, though it could be more called like a crazy spinning and twitching. From the four of them he knew personally just one. The rest were some John's friends. And even though there were so few people, they were making quite a lot of noise that Kaidan wondered if neighbours would complain about it the next day.

"Man, that's terrible!" John screamed into his ear when he joined him with a dewy bottle of his own beer in his hand.

"What's terrible? Was that the last beer?" Kaidan yelled at the top of his lungs, trying to shout down the enthusiastic wailing as the _dancers_ were trying to sing along with the song playing. Falsely, to say the least.

"No! Me! I'm nearly thirty."

"In two years, John," Kaidan reminded him, wincing at the terrible singing. He looked at his beer and quickly brought it to his lips; maybe more alcohol would help him like the sound more. Or at least tolerate it.

"Doesn't matter. Don't you get it? Six years since Mindoir? Six years since Maya has showed up and she should be here to celebrate it with me."

"Six's a stupid number," Kaidan shook his head and took another sip again. "Ten would be something else."

"That will take a time yet," John yelled, looking sadly at the bottle in his hands.

Kaidan hesitated for a second, before patting his back reassuringly. "You know what it is like to serve, John. She can't abandon her duty just for some birthday party…sixth birthday party, which is really stupid number," he repeated in quieter voice, not realizing John wouldn't probably hear it. "You should be proud of her. She's somewhere out there fighting for our future."

John frowned at him and shook his head, doing his best to ignore his friend's sudden burst of laughter from the opposite side of the room. "Stop with the crap. We're already in the Alliance. No need to recruit anyone here!" he said, the rueful expression gone from his face.

Kaidan couldn't help but smile at that. Yeah, they both were in the Alliance. And he still couldn't believe it. An L2 biotic who, on top of all, had caused the _accident_ in the brain camp that led to it being shut down, was now an Alliance soldier.

_And all thanks to May,_ Kaidan thought with a smile. He could still vividly remember the way she looked at him as she talked. She had stood so close, as they chatted on his parent's balcony. Just the two of them, watching over the English Bay. It was a strange moment, felt almost like a stolen one even though it shouldn't have, and he had wanted nothing but to reach out and…yeah…he didn't know what he would have done just like he hadn't known it back then. Shaking his head, Kaidan wiped the smile off his face and regarded his friend. "What brought her on?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"Your sister."

"I don't know. I just…thought that the last birthday we celebrated together was hers the year when she had the fantastic idea to enlist," he said sullenly, his disapproval obvious.

Kaidan nodded. "You miss her. You got so used to her being home whenever you return that now when she's not here, you miss her. And I still have no idea why you're so grumpy about her decision. You started her training, you made her love it and so it's only your fault she's a marine now. And hell of a marine, by the way. You should be proud."

"I know. I am. It's just weird not to have heard from her for so long," he grunted. "I don't understand why she is so mysterious about her assignment. I have all the security clearances you can get, there's nothing she couldn't tell me," he said, musing.

"She's just like you. Maybe it was dangerous and she didn't want you to be worried."

"Yeah, like now I'm not worried. She could be dead as we speak for all we know," he frowned and lifted his head from his beer to watch his friends. Actually, he didn't see them at all. He was thinking. Maya had last contacted him half a year ago. She had used a video call, as usually, and John couldn't help but notice how tired she had looked. She had been smiling the whole time, happy for some reason, but so incredibly exhausted. And wherever it had been, it had to be somewhere cold; she'd had a cap on the whole time, covering her hair altogether. Not that it was difficult. Since she had joined the Alliance, she kept her hair short, cut gradually around her face. It became her, but it had been a shock to see her with such a short hair for the first time.

Suddenly another sound rang through the flat, making John rise from the sofa. The door bell. Kaidan watched him to go open the door, surprised he'd even heard the bell. He'd seemed so absorbed in his own thoughts that he hadn't heard his attempts to placate him. He was about to tear his eyes off him when a black haired woman rushed inside and wrapped both arms around his neck tightly.

Kaidan lifted an eyebrow when John embraced the woman around her waist so tightly as if he wanted to squeeze all air from her lungs and lifted her off her feet for a moment. When he put her down, her back was to Kaidan, so he couldn't see her face, but he had to admit the view he got wasn't all that bad either.

She was wearing a tight jeans tugged in high boots. Kaidan's eyes climbed up the long, athletic legs and lingered for a moment on that incredibly firmly-looking bottom. Unwittingly he tilted his head to one side as his eyes trailed up her back and down again, taking another sight of her…assets…with a silent chuckle. _That must be Lena. John, you lucky bastard…_he smirked into his beer and took another sip.

Whatever she was telling him, he apparently couldn't hear her over the loud music. Kaidan could read: "what?!" on his lips at least three times.

Lena clenched her hands into fists and dropped her shoulders. And Kaidan nearly dropped the bottle he was holding when her whole body flared up in a familiar dark blue aura as she pointed her arm towards John's hifi-tower. The music stopped at once, and only her voice rang through the flat: "N7!"

* * *

To be continued. Wow, so many dots to make in this chapter, but that was simply my stupid plan with the letter. Anyway, no, don't worry, I'm not going to rob you of so many years and jump straight into 2176. It was just a teaser and a way to show you Kaidan's POV, because in…well…not sure how many chapters I'm going to write the scene from May's perspective. Hoped you liked the chapter and thank you all for reading. And if you have anything to say, just hit the…wait…it's been quite a time and I still can't get used to the fact we no longer have the "review button". But you know what I mean J Have a nice day everyone.

Lyv: I'm glad the last chapter made you day. And don't worry about John. He's tough ;) Thank you for reviewing, by the way :)


	14. Humanity

Disclaimer: I don't own ME.

* * *

Lights were off and only the faintest sounds of human voices were coming through the closed door. Only silhouettes of several bunks, a table and chairs were visible in the dim light coming from a holographic screen of a computer. The machine was humming slightly, a soft regular sound that was driving John crazy the more he had to listen to it. Or maybe it was the fact why he had to listen to it that caused his anguish.

With a heavy sigh he hid his face in his palms, closing his sore eyes. He'd been there for eternity, writing and perusing last reports to see if he hadn't missed any significant detail. The only positive thing about all the paperwork was the assignment had finally come to an end. They had depleted every source of information they had found along the way across Cerberus top secret labs and safe houses. His teammates were excited about their every success, but John doubted their efforts had caused the organization any vital problems. From what he'd seen its fingers were already sunk too deeply into the human society to be rid of it that easily. To him it felt like they had just scratched one of the three's Cerberus' heads. _We probably haven't done more than to piss this Illusive Man off,_ John thought. Taking a deep breath – and ignoring the short pain shooting up and down his torso from his unhealed ribs – he looked at the screen again.

But at least they had managed to discover a connection between the Illusive Man – TIM, as Rick had nicknamed him – and New Dawn Pharmaceuticals. Upon receiving an echo from John the Alliance stormed and closed the organization, confiscating large amount of omega-enkaphalin; a drug that could suppress biotic abilities. But again, the drug had been already invented. And John doubted closing the organization would prevent Cerberus from getting more of it.

A silent swoosh sound broke the silence and John looked to his left, hissing and closing his eyes tightly as the sharp light came in through an opened door.

"Ups...sorry, boss," Tanya uttered cheerfully, coming in without actually being invited. "We were worried about you. And since Tan doesn't talk and Rick is too manly to express concern I was sent to check up on you," she was saying while crossing the room swiftly. The door closed behind her, letting the room once again drown in the comfortable darkness. By the time, however, Tanya was seated on top of Johns table, head turned to side so that she could read what he'd written. "Hey, you got a mistake there," she pointed out, leaning closer. "Cerberus operatives? I thought you called them fuckers back on that station. And I made that one headless, too...hell, I loved the way his brain splattered all over the wall behind that guy. Headshot! Serves him right for not wearing a helmet."

John lifted his eyes from the screed to look at her, hand supporting his chin while listening to her. "You're drunk," John stated simply when she finished.

She giggled like a little girl, which seemed rather twisted considering the theme she had just mentioned "Oh, you can tell, can you?"

"Do you realize you're still on duty?"

"I know. That's why I'm still in my free-time-uniform," she nodded, pointing at her outfit.

John frowned slightly. "I'm going to regret asking, but why do you call it a free-time-uniform?"

"Well, it's a uniform, isn't it? And we wear it only on board of a ship when we aren't fighting, because we have a free time" she smiled at him. "See? Simple."

John shook his head helplessly. "If you weren't such a good soldier, Tanya, I swear I'd have you before the court martial long ago."

"I know, you're such a charmer, sir," she answered and touched his shoulder briefly. "Hey, how's your ribcage? You got that one pretty badly after they shot down your shield. I still see the nice pirouette you made when they hit you. Half-pirouette…you landed prone."

"It's getting better," John simply answered. "I'm amazed you've managed to say pirouette twice in a row without messing it up as drunk as you are."

She grinned at him. "I grew up on streets, boss. And don't change a subject. You're a liar. You wince every time you move quickly. You must keep your face under check if you don't want to scare that hot redhead of yours." she shrugged. "By the way, what was so ugly about her hair? I loved that haircut."

"My sister," John started slowly, "had long hair as long as I remember. Seeing it cut short was...weird."

This time Tanya's girl's face frowned in concern. "I have a short hair too. Do I look weird?" she asked, grabbing a strand of her brown hair and bringing it in front of her eyes. "It's good. It fits under a helmet and doesn't stick to my eyes. Do I look weird?"

"I'm not going to answer that. I'm neither stupid, nor as drunk as you to do something like that."

Tanya giggled again, focusing her pale dilated eyes on him. "And that's why you need to stop this crap," she said, pointing her hand towards the computer, "and finally join us to celebrate. We're finally going home again. That's worth celebrating," she added.

"Just give me ten more minutes to send all the files," John said, knowing better than to argue with her.

She hesitated, regarding him with a searching look as if to determine whether or not he was lying to her. "Right," she mumbled after a while and hoped off the table. "Don't take too long. You need to blow off some steam just like us."

...

Several hours later everything ended when John finally stepped into the corridor full of uniformed people. His own uniform, however, was inside the sport bag he carried. Though HQ wasn't as busy as he usually remembered it considering the early morning hour.

Walking slowly, trying not to overstrain his healing wound, he made his way down the large corridor. The careful way he moved attracted curious looks from soldiers around him, but they didn't stop him to ask. At least they almost didn't. John had already the front door at sight when a voice somewhere to his left stopped him.

"Well, well, what a sight. John Shepard, limping. Now I've seen everything." It wasn't meant as a mockery, he could tell, more like a teasing anyway.

John slowly turned towards the source of the voice and frowned at the woman he saw. "Lena?" he whispered, not really sure if his eyes weren't deceiving him. The tall, full-figured woman with shoulder-length black hair gave him a broad smile. Her brown eyes he'd last seen after the basic military training smiled at him. "It is you."

"Long time no see, John," Lena smiled and approached him slowly, a datapad in her hand. "Do you want to help with that? It looks like it's too heavy for you," she joked.

"I don't know who needed help with her backpack during the final tests back during the training," John replied promptly.

Lena looked at the ceiling, smiling. "Blast, he still remembers the moment of my weakness. And I remember," she went on when she focused her eyes back on him, "that you were half the size you are now. Look at yourself. All muscles and all. You look good."

"And you haven't changed in the slightest," John reflected. "And I would love nothing more than to stay here and talk about what you've been doing all those years, but I'm afraid I'm in a little hurry. I've just returned from an assignment, you can imagine."

She lifted her free hand, palm to him, while using the other to hug the datapad to her body. "Then don't let me stop you. I'm sure your sister's eager to finally see you in flesh again," she added with a soft smile. "She's such a sweetheart and she spoke so highly of you despite you leaving her for so long."

That caught his attention. Sensing a longer stay, John carefully lifted the bag off his shoulder and let it drop to the floor. "Wait a minute," he said slowly, her words echoing in his mind. "What are you talking about? How do you know my sister?" That was disturbing. He remembered Lena had told him she'd aspired to become a military psychologist. An unsettling feeling started gripping his stomach when his mind started coming up with countless ideas why Maya would have needed to talk to an Alliance psychologist.

Lena tensed, the hold on her datapad became a little more forced. Her eyes lingered for a moment on the bag before travelling back up to meet his eyes. The look he gave her was completely emotionless, indicating something was going on in his head. "I've met her. I didn't even know it was her until they sent her in my office for an interview and I saw the name in her file."

The look intensified when she fell silent again. "What kind of interview?" John asked. Decided not to jump to conclusions he tried to calm himself down while waiting for her answer.

"You don't know..." Lena gathered, taking an involuntary step back.

"What don't I know?" he asked, but then the answer dawned on him. "No."

Lena's shoulders dropped. "Oh, I've just gotten her into trouble, haven't I? She hasn't told you yet," she whispered and looked away from him, shaking her head. "And here I thought how proud you must be of her to be accepted into our ranks," she bit her lip.

"What?! So not only she's enlisted, but they have accepted her as well!" John barked out so loudly that other Alliance employers paid him a shocked look.

"John, keep your voice down," Lena tried to hush him.

"What kind of stupidity is this? How could she have passed the medical examination? She's half-deaf, goddamned!"

"Alright, that's enough," Lena frowned and bent to take the bag he'd dropped on the floor. "Come with me. I get the feeling this is going to take a while so we can move somewhere private. Like my office," she offered.

John reached out, ignoring the pain, to take the bag form her quickly. She didn't fight him, but also didn't wait for him when she quickly headed deeper into the building. Despite wearing heels she walked quickly and John struggled with his wound to keep up with her, feeling so incredibly stupid.

Luckily the office wasn't far and soon he found himself standing opposite of her behind a closed door. The room was rather homely with lot of plants, a bookshelf, a large wooden table with computer on it and two comfortably-looking armchairs. Neither of them sat down however.

"So?" John bid her to talk when she walked around the table to turn on the computer.

"I shouldn't be doing this, but since you helped me out once – as you've so kindly reminded me – I'm going to show you something. It might anger you even more, but I ask you to act and think like a soldier. Come over here," she motioned him to stand next to her as she started searching the computer's memory. "Here is she..." she mumbled when she found the file she was looking for. "See for yourself," she turned the screen towards him. "She's undergone a surgery to get a translator implanted into her ear to cover for the damaged eardrum. Now she can hear even better than you or me thanks to it."

John's eyes widened as he scanned the file in front of him. "What does the Alliance symbol next to her picture mean?" he asked.

"It means the Alliance is super-interested in your sister," Lena answered curtly. She waited for her words to sink in. "Not because of you," she added when he looked at her slowly, "as you can see the Alliance doesn't consider an applicant's siblings important enough to actually ask about them," she pointed with her hand towards the screen. "It's her own exceptionality that attracted the Alliance's attention. She's been through an intensive martial arts training, she can handle all sorts of weapons, from pistols to sniper rifles, and she possesses extraordinary technical skills, too. The Alliance would have been stupid if they hadn't leapt at the chance of having her."

"That's..."

"Her psychological profile was flawless, too, despite everything she's been through, and that's a hint of incredibly strong will. She's exactly the sort of person the Alliance needs. Plus, she's an L3 biotic and that's a jackpot," she added, her eyes watching the screen. Then she looked at him. "Or do you have another impression? And stop thinking about her as your sister, but a possible recruit, John."

"She's perfect," John had to admit despite himself. He frowned at the screen, reading all the important parts again. "You must stop it," he said suddenly, turning his head towards the woman by his side. "Tell them you've made a mistake. That she's not fit for this kind of duty."

Lena's eyebrows rose. "I'm afraid I can't. Even if I wanted the decision has been made. In three weeks your sister's basic training starts and there's nothing anyone, not even you, can do about it. Look," she added in a softer tone, laying her hand on his shoulder, "I know you want to protect her. But believe me, John, she doesn't need that. She's incredibly mature and smart young woman. Besides, it is her call and she's made it. You have to respect her wish." When he didn't say anything, her eyes saddened. "Why is it so wrong?"

"Why?" John spat out, taking a step back from her hand. "Are you kidding me? The job's dangerous. She's not joining the Alliance if I have any say in the matter."

"Which you don't," she said calmly, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I can still dissuade _her_ from it. She still has the right to decline..."

"You're a hypocrite, John," Lena stated, cutting him off. "Look at yourself. You had a sixteen- years-old teenager in your care, a girl who had went through a very traumatic experience, and you simply packed up your things and left her for no apparent reason! And the day you did so you've lost the right to command her. Let her live her life the way she wants. From what I've gathered, she loves you so much, John. Don't make her change that point of view."

"What is it to you, anyway?" he growled. "It's not like you and I are such big buddies. We could have, if you hadn't walked away from me. Don't you remember?"

"You can't blame me for pursuing my dream, John," she shook her head, gesturing around her. "Besides, if I remember correctly, you weren't all that shattered that I left you. After all...what was her name? Kathe..."

"Don't you dare," John growled and turned around, picking the bag from the floor.

Lena sighed when he left her office and bit her lip. She shook her head and activated her omnitool.

...

"Hey, I knew it was weird when they summoned him even before the ship could dock, but that's already taking excessively too long," Rick muttered discontentedly, eyes checking his watch.

Tan narrowed his eyes when they found its way towards the front gate of Alliance HQ, nodding his agreement.

"He's hurt," Tanya whispered groggily, already sitting inside Tan's speeder. She winced, her own words hammering into her brain. She'd cursed herself for letting Rick drunk her so much the previous day. Her head was killing her, her throat felt dry and she had a queer aftertaste in her mouth as if something had crawled inside while she was sleeping and benignantly died there.

"So what? He's survived worse. He's..." Rick started saying but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. "What is it, Tan?" he asked his comrade.

Tan nodded towards the speeder. "Quieter," he whispered.

"Why? Do you think she's ever respected my hangover?"

"Next time I'm trying to save your life on a battlefield," a weak voice from the speeder chimed, "I'm making it very painful."

Another squeeze on his shoulder stopped Rick from answering. Following Tan's gaze Rick's eyes travelled back to the HQ building and watched his commanding officer walk slowly down the stairs. "What are you still doing here?" John asked his teammates when he approached them.

"Tan wanted to give you a lift," Tanya's silent voice spoke from the speeder. "And Rick was curious what they wanted to talk to you about."

Rick shrugged and pointed towards Tanya. "Pretty much that."

John frowned, watching his subordinates as if he didn't quite believe that. "They want us back on the SSV Hastings once our shore leave is over."

"Good. I never liked staying on solid ground for too long anyway," Rick shrugged and moved to get in the speeder. Tan motioned John to get in as well. Clenching his teeth he sat down in the passenger seat.

They didn't speak along the way. John wasn't in mood, Tanya looked miserable enough and therefore Rick had no one to talk to. John didn't care anyway. His thoughts were elsewhere.

_"You're a hypocrite, John. Look at yourself."_

_ "She loves you so much, John."_

_ "And that's a jackpot."_

_ "...incredibly strong will."_

"She's perfect..." he whispered, looking at his own reflection in the lift's door. It was gone soon as it opened and he walked inside the well known corridor.

_"Don't make her change that point of view."_

He was surprised to find the door unlocked despite the early hour, and even more stun he was when he realized Maya was awake, sitting on the sofa, probably waiting for him. She was wearing a large T-shirt, shorts and a pair of thick woollen socks. Though she still had sheets around her, she looked like she was awake for quite some time now. She stood up when he entered and smiled at him softly, tugging her short hair behind her ear, and John couldn't help but stare for a moment. It was strange to finally see her after so long. She was much taller than he remembered and looked more athletic than when he'd left. The short hair did really suit her and... "What's that thing on your neck?!" John blurted out, noticing the dark spot there after she'd moved the hair away.

"Well, good morning to you to, John," she smiled at him. "And welcome home. Here, let me help," she approached him, lifting the sport bag off his shoulder. He grasped both her arms to hold her close, while examining the tattoo under her left ear.

"AR?" he read out loud, not protesting when she took the bag from him.

"Always remember," she shrugged, heading towards the bedroom to put his bag on the floor there. "My way to honour the first anniversary of Mindoir's destruction," she added when she returned. "Why don't you sit down? You can berate me from the seat just as well and it won't be as painful for you," she pointed at him.

He blinked. "Wait a minute, how do you..."

She smirked. "Well, I have my ways."

"Lena?" John growled.

May bit her lip and laughed gently. "Who else?" she shrugged and went towards the kitchen. "She said you were pretty angry when you left, so that I'd brace myself. Kind of her to give me the heads-up, isn't it?" she added in irresistibly sweet voice while preparing herself a cup of tea. She poured water into a jug kettle and turned it on, using the other hand to put few tea spoons of sugar into the cup.

A soft clang sound to his left brought John's attention to the wall unit. His eyes widened when he noticed a terrarium full of sawdust, with a small house and an iron wheel. "What is this?" he asked, pointing towards the creature merrily running inside the hamster wheel as if chasing after something really important.

"My Hamster. Isn't he the cutest thing ever?" May smiled, leaning against the kitchen desk in with her elbows to watch the pet with dreamy eyes. "A gift for my birthday from my friends," she said and then the sharp click of the kettle brought her back to present. A scent of cranberries filled the whole flat when she poured water into the cup. Leaving the steaming cup in the kitchen, she quickly crossed the distance between them, taking John's arm and leading him towards her sofa. Putting the blanket away, she made him sit down, ignoring the twist of his face. She sat before him, cross-legged, and smiled at him. "We need to talk."

"Why?" was all John managed to ask, his eyes looking around, searching for other changes. Maya followed his gaze as he fixed his eyes on a box next to the sofa. "Well," she took a slow breath, focusing on her brother again, "I didn't know what else I could do after school. I already know a lot about the Alliance from Kyle and I enjoyed everything he was teaching me. But I didn't decide until the day I heard about the pharmaceutical corporation that had been making drugs. I wasn't sure why, but from the news I had the impression something much bigger was behind the scenes and when I talked to you, you more or less confirmed my hunch, saying you had just screwed one of Cerberus' important allies. And I knew that one day I would simply love to be able to say something like that myself. That I helped to keep humanity safe. That I would be there next time some colony is attacked. That I would make the difference. Do you know some other way to accomplish that?"

Still not meeting her eyes, John shook his head slowly. Then he finally looked at her. Instead of saying something, he reached out, putting her hair behind her ear just as she'd done it not so long ago, to look at the tattoo again.

She smiled, feeling an opportunity to ease the atmosphere with a joke. "I'm going to add N7 to it after I graduate," she said.

"If you become an N7 I'll give you a thousand credits," John played along, sensing the same stubbornness he had himself; Lena was right. There was no way he could change what was going to happen. She had made her mind. And maybe, somewhere very, very deep inside, he really was proud of her.

"Challenge accepted," she narrowed her eyes at him and grinned.

"You would have to be better than the best for them to take notice of you and invite you in the villa. Besides, you'd be the first woman to ever reach that ranking, do you realize that?" he added, turning his head to one side, not really sure if she was still jesting or meant it.

"Well, there's a first time for everything, right?" she whispered and then took a breath. "So, you're not angry with me after all." It wasn't a question. "I was afraid of your reaction."

He frowned. "Don't take me wrong. I don't like the idea and I'm sure it's going to get you killed one day."

"As long as I'm not spaced," she smiled. "That would be just terrible a way to die. Or to drown. Or to die in a fire. Or…"

"I get the picture," he stopped her, shaking his head. "As I said, I'm not thrilled, but I don't want to argue about it with you. It's not worth it. Especially when there's nothing anyone, not even me, can do about it."

His sister laughed softly. "Why do I have the feeling you're citing Lena, now? That's what she would say."

"How come you know each other so well?"

"We've became friends, you know. Had a lot to talk about. Especially about what we have in common," she added and grinned mischievously.

John's eyes flickered slightly, as his look trailed across her face. Then he focused on the box next to the sofa, deliberately changing the subject. "What's inside?" he asked, nodding towards it.

"A crate. For Ham. David's going to stop by for lunch and to pick him up. Someone needs to take care of him while I'm gone," she added and paid the pet, that was now hovering on top of the little plastic house, a quick look.

"Who's David?"

She turned to him again, smiling. "My boyfriend. You know him, by the way. The guy you met in front of the school. You know…the day Jereth died." She made a short pause and John noticed the sad expression in her eyes. "Anyway," she sighed, shaking her head. "I hope you like pasta. I promised David to cook lasagne so…" she trailed off, biting her lip. She got up and walked to the kitchen. She carefully took the cup into her palms and took a sip, closing her eyes.

"You can cook?" John said, surprised, and wanted to turn around after her, but a sharp pain stopped him in mid-motion. Clenching his teeth and trying to keep his face deadpan he stood up slowly, turning towards her.

She laughed shortly. "A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Yeah…mom would be so proud. She thought I would have learned it much earlier considering the amount of time they were gone and I was alone, but every time I was hungry I grabbed a fruit." She smiled sadly. "There were all kinds of fruit on Mindoir. And when you took a bite the juice just went down your chin and there was nothing you could about it. I miss the fruits. They were different than Earth's. Much sweeter." She turned her back to John, leaning against the kitchen desk drinking the tea. "It was great refreshment during the hot days. We used to eat so many of them with Tobias whenever we went to the lake to bath. It made our tongues hurt," she laughed, but it sounded empty. "Like when you eat pineapple."

"You need to get out," John whispered suddenly.

"Huh?" she looked at him over her shoulder.

"You need to get out," he repeated more loudly. "I've got a shore leave for a few days now, we could…go somewhere. And I think I know just the place," he added silently.

...

Tobias sat silently on a bank of a limpid lake. His bare feet were dipped in the cool water, making soft splashing noises whenever he moved them. His eyes were closed, he was leaning back slightly, propping on his hands for support. The blazing sun was touching his cheeks gently. It was summer, hot and dry, and it was the only Earth's season that remotely reminded him of Mindoir. Though Mindoir had happened long ago. It was just a word to him now. As if he'd never lived there. With each passed day he had more and more troubles remembering lost things. His parents' faces. His own bedroom. The way hot air shivered above the colony. The school. He could no longer remember even her face.

But he couldn't completely forget either. He'd thought in time he'd let go and move on. There was Kara, after all. And Hyper. His foster parents. But Mindoir clinged to him, determined not to let him get rid of it. Everything he saw and experienced here he tended to compare with Mindoir.

He heard soft steps coming closer, but didn't need to look around to know who it was. "Hey, Tobi. How long are you waiting here?" she asked silently, a hint of laugher in her voice.

Tobias opened his eyes and watched her sat down next to him, putting her flip-flops off her feet. With a soft smile she closed her eyes when her toes pierced the water surface. "Hm…I see why you love it," she whispered. "Anything to cool down a little in this hot weather."

"Where did you shake off Kara?" he asked, turning towards the girl next to him. She was smiling at him, blue eyes sparking merrily. "I didn't. We couldn't make Hyper leave the house. Poor thing, he must be suffering so much. Although…I'm glad we can be alone for a while."

Fixing his eyes on the water surface he nodded, moving his hand to rest around her shoulders, bringing the brunet closer to him. "She just likes you so much, Alex."

"And she adores you," Alex purred, closing eyes again.

"Dangerous combination," Tobias uttered curtly, but she laughed nonetheless. "Hey, and I've got a news for you," she straightened. "John Shepard's back on Earth again. He survived another dangerous mission, though this time they didn't say what it was," she mused, watching the glittering water. She was still smiling softly when Tobias turned his head to her, thinking. "Why do you tell me that?" he asked after a few seconds of confused silence.

"Well…" she started saying, her legs gently swaying in the water, "I thought you liked the guy. You always look him up on the extranet, searching for any piece of information about him," she gave a shrug. Without looking at him she bent over, dipping her hands into the water as well. Tobias watched her bring the hands up to dry them against her dark brown hair. Just as she was done and turned to him, he leaned closer to gently kiss her on her lips. He could feel her smiling and when he pulled away her eyes were shinning like a star. "I do. You're right," he smiled at her, raising his hand to absentmindedly play with her hair.

Almost year and a half since the two ended up together, and it still felt weird when her brown strands were slipping between his fingers.

Tobias knew Alex loved him blindly from the very first day Kara had introduced them to each other. She was nice and pretty, very kind, though sometimes annoying. She was playful and light-hearted. Even though he did find her attractive, he didn't feel so strongly about her. But he liked her enough to allow her through the wall he'd erected after Mindoir.

"Yeah, you…you're amazing," he added and turned to watch the lake too. "I didn't know you've noticed it." The truth was he searched for any information about someone else. But he couldn't tell her that, obviously.

"Well, I have," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder. He didn't respond and only wrapped his arm around her again, bringing her a little closer. It was a moment of peace as they sat there together, unmoving, silently watching the shimmering water surface. It felt perfect and Tobias's grim mood was gone, replaced by a warm sensation. Somehow he thought nothing could make the moment better.

His eyes snapped open when a loud barking woke him up. Both he and Alex were lying in the grass on the lake's bank, limbs intertwined. Alex blinked drowsily and looked around with confusion just as a huge black and white dog jumped on them, licking their faces, wiggling its tail madly and unintentionally scratching their bare arms and legs with its claws.

"H-Hyper, get..." before Tobias could finish Hyper hoped off and a loud splashing sound as well as a spray of cool water told him the dog jumped into the water.

"What the..." Alex started saying, but another voice cut her off.

"Tobias! Tobias!" Kara was screaming at the top of her lungs, running to the couple. They sat up, watching the girl run towards them. "Tobias...!" she said breathlessly when she arrived to them, bending over and placing her palms against her knees.

"Kara? What is it? Is everything alright?" he asked suddenly worried. But then the brunet lifted her head, a broad smile on her flushed face. "I've got...a big...surprise for...you, Tobias," she said and yelped in surprise when the wet dog darted over to her, a long pink tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth. Water was dripping from Hyper's fur and he had the great idea to shake it off among them.

"What a crazy dog..." Alex laughed when Hyper hopped off to the water again, barking merrily.

Tobias took a breath to ask what she was talking about, but then he noticed Kara was watching something behind them. He looked over his shoulder and the world around him suddenly halted to stop altogether. The breeze seemingly stopped blowing, the sun ceased to burn his skin, and he forgot to breathe. He wasn't even aware he'd stood up until his legs moved on their own accord.

May folded her hands and narrowed her eyes slightly. "One comment about my hair and I'm going to kill you," she said. Her posture was the same he remembered, but her voice sounded a little bit deeper. But he liked it. And then she smiled and relaxed, biting her lip.

"It is you..." he whispered. He felt he needed to say it out loud, though there were no doubts. Only Maya would say something like that.

Before he knew it, he was holding her in his arms tightly, her chin resting on his shoulder and he knew he never wanted to let go again. He slid his hand up, eager to feel the soft curls of her hair under his palm. But when he brushed the skin on the back of her neck his eyes widened and was about to quickly pull away from her, but she was faster. He startled when she swiftly grasped both his wrists, stopping him. "Please, don't..." she pleaded, shaking her head slightly. "It's nothing. I'll explain it later," she added in a whisper.

Tobias stared at her, not really sure what to say or do. His eyes fell on her hands. He noticed the skin between her thumb and forefingers was burnt on both hands. "Heh...quick reflexes," he said eventually, tearing his eyes off the burns.

She smiled shyly, shrugging. She took a breath to say something, but suddenly Tobias felt a sharp tug at his arm as his little sister captured it in her hands. "Isn't it crazy? After so long and here she is!" Kara practically squeaked in delight. May frowned slightly, confused, but didn't say anything as the last person present approached her. The brunet was a little bit shorter than May and her blue eyes were scrutinizing the girl before her. She was smiling when she extended her hand, but it was a forced smile, Maya could tell. "I'm Alexandra," she introduced herself, brushing off dust and dried grass from her jean shorts with her other hand. "Tobias' girlfriend."

Her voice was kind, but something told Maya if D was there he'd be screaming: Hostiles detected, until he'd gone hoarse...hypothetically speaking. Drones couldn't go hoarse. "My name's Maya," she accepted the offered hand and shook it twice before letting go. "I used to be Tobias' schoolmate back on Mindoir."

"And his kindred spirit," Kara added, mimicking Tobias' deep voice, oblivious to the tension. "Isn't it great?" she asked and looked at her brother.

Tobias nodded and smiled again, absentmindedly using his thumb to touch his fingertips as if he could still feel the little device under them.

...

It was incredible and Tobias still couldn't believe it. She was here. Now. With him. She had found him. She had wanted to see him even after so long. And here he had thought he'd be just a painful reminder of what she'd lost. That had been the reason he had changed his mind about visiting her eventually. He had little desire to cause her pain. But he'd been wrong. She was here now.

They had returned from the lake after some time of casual talking. As if neither of them had wanted to discuss what really mattered to them until they were completely alone. Though Tobias felt a little guilty when Alex parted with them with an obviously made-up excuse. And according to Maya's face she'd known it too. But it hadn't stopped her from fascinating Peter and Carol when they invited her for a lunch.

But it wasn't until almost evening, when Tobias finally managed to get rid of Kara. By the time Maya was outside, petting Hyper while he was lying in the dust, belly up and tongue out of his mouth. "He's just awesome," she purred when she noticed him and stopped stroking the dog. She sat back on her heels and looked at him. Hyper snorted discontentedly, so she quickly went on with the rubbing. "Where's Kara?"

"Inside. I asked Carol to keep her occupied for some time," he answered and approached the two, kneeling down beside Maya.

"You're lucky to have a sibling like her," she said, smiling as Hyper lifted his head to look at her. "Who's the cute doggie? You are, yes you are."

Tobias laughed. "You call _me_ lucky? You're brother's a hero!"

"And has his duties," she added. "And he's very serious most of the time."

"But you said he took you here. Which means he must care, because he helped you reach a childhood friend."

"I didn't say he doesn't," she quickly replied. "He doesn't express it often, but I know he cares," she paused to take a breath. "Tobias," she started saying again, turning to him. "Tell me one thing. What did Kara mean by what she said back at the lake? About the long time and me being here?" she asked, watching him intently while still gently stroking Hyper's belly.

Tobias watched her hand disappearing between the dog's rich fur for a while before he replied. "Well, I wanted to visit you, but eventually decided against it. I thought seeing me might hurt you, you know?"

"How?" she almost laughed when she said it as if the idea seemed so ridiculous.

"Well...I might remind you of Mindoir and everything..." he shrugged.

She touched his cheek and lifted his head to look at her. The large emeralds were sparkling merrily when they locked with his eyes. "That was the silliest thing you've ever said, Tobias," she smiled at him and he couldn't help. He lifted his own hand to cup her cheek gingerly. "You know me," he whispered. And then he remembered. "What's that thing at the back of your neck?" he asked and watched May's eyes widen.

She chuckled mirthlessly, biting her lower lip as she fixed her eyes on Hyper. "Well, I'm not even sure if it has any official name, but John always calls it amp jack," she shrugged. "It's a place where doctors put a needle to gather data from...from my implants. Tobias, I'm a biotic," she said, her voice barely above a whisper as if she felt ashamed by it. The truth was, most people didn't react well when told. They didn't know what being a biotic meant and therefore were afraid of it. All they saw was the eminent power biotics had at their disposal.

Maya tensed when she felt Tobias' hand brush away the hair to get a better look at the nape of her neck while she had her head bent down to Hyper. She could feel him touching the skin around with his fingertips like he was testing if it hurt her. "Biotic," he mumbled. "That's...well...So that's why you've decided to follow your brother's footsteps and become a marine."

She bit her lip. "Partly. I also wanted to protect humanity the best I could. The fact I can use my biotics to do so is a pleasant bonus." Once she felt his hand retreat, she straightened and looked at him. She felt relieved he didn't appear to be afraid of her or anything.

"Humanity," Tobias repeated.

"You saw what happened to Mindoir. If our role in the galactic society had been stronger, they wouldn't have attacked it. No one is foolish enough to attack asari or turian, because they know their race wouldn't forgive it. But...look what happened after Mindoir. Nothing. Nothing happened and I doubt anything will. I know it's because the attackers were pirates, but still..."

"I know what you mean," Tobias nodded and frowned. "If I could I would do anything to show the bat-like assholes what..."

"Tobias!" Maya quickly cut him off.

"Sorry," he muttered and his scowl deepened. He clenched his teeth for a moment and May was sure she had never seen more hatred displayed on his face before. Than all at once his features became relaxed again and he let out a long breath. "Wow...biotic...what was your brother's reaction to it?"

Feeling still a little uneasy from what she'd just seen, she made herself smile at him, hoping it looked genuine enough. "Well, my first biotic performance cost me a nosebleed and he wordlessly handed me a swab to wipe the blood away, saying it was normal. He looked so...casual as if it didn't surprise him at all. I on the other hand felt frightened and not only because a guy was..." she suddenly stopped. "A guy was shoving a gun into my face moments before that," she'd wanted to say, but then she remembered she wasn't allowed to speak about anything anyhow related to Cerberus. "It was crazy," she added, biting her lip.

"I can imagine," he nodded. "Hey, why isn't he with you?" he asked and May was glad he'd decided to ignore her abrupt stop.

"He's probably sleeping in a hotel," she nodded towards the centre of the little town. Or maybe it was a large village, she wasn't sure. She knew it was larger than Mindoir nonetheless. Anyway it was a slow place, calm and peaceful. There were a lot of farms, but they specialized in breeding animals rather than growing any kind of plant. "He knew how important this was to me so he didn't want to disturb me. Besides, he's been hurt and even though he's playing tough, I've glimpsed him wince in pain when he thinks I'm not looking," she smiled. Considering John's health Maya was even more touched by his gesture. Instead of resting he'd chosen to accompany her. "He wanted to show me Earth," she added and her smile turned rueful. "Though the time for it is limited. He needs to be back in two weeks."

"Meaning you can't stay here for long?" Tobias asked, trying his best not to sound disappointed. Of course she'd have to sooner or later return, but he simply wished they could stay like that.

She nodded. "Tomorrow morning we're leaving. Heading south," she added with a sigh. She lifted her eyes from Hyper, focusing on the darkening sky. Even the sun hadn't set yet, she could see a bright star blinking at her. "I haven't got used to this yet. The night sky."

"I know what you mean," Tobias agreed, letting the previous topic slip away. "I still search for the stars I used to watch as a kid, but they are nowhere to be found."

"I would like to see them again," Maya chimed, tilting her head to one side. Her hand stopped moving, but this time Hyper didn't react. He was still, breathing slowly and listening to the couple intently as if he could understand what they were saying.

"Maybe you'll have a chance. They want to renew the colony. Start over with new colonists...and a proper defence," Tobias added, frowning.

"Maybe..." she mused, eyes fixed on the single bright spot above them. "But it won't be Mindoir for me."

* * *

To be continued. Thank you all for reading and for leaving such awesome reviews. I dearly appreciate every single one of them :)

And since today's a special day I'd like to wish you all merry Christmas (yeah, yeah...I could have posted this chapter yesterday, but I wanted to wait for today :)

**Lyv:** Yes, May was N7 in that preview, but since I travelled back in time again it all is still waiting for her ;) Thank you for your reveiw, by the way, and happy Holiday :)

edit: I changed a minor detail in the last chapter. Only six years has elapsed since Maya and John reunited, not eight, as I mentioned in the last part of the previous chapter. I'm sorry for misleading you, it wasn't intentional :D


	15. I love you

Disclaimer: I don't own ME.

No, I'm not kidding. This is an update :)

* * *

They thought about it. The way to keep everyone's attention front, to listen to the boring lecture which miraculously worked as a very strong sleeping pill. That's why they squeezed them all into a room without windows, so that they wouldn't simply stare out of it. For a hundred times Maya fought with her closing eyelids, begging them to stop tormenting her. She willed herself to ignore the soporific sound of an air conditioner above her, and to focus on all main parts of a Lancer assault rifle. She tried her best, but her brain simply refused to get the meaning behind her platoon's instructor's words. She could hear him, she could see him talking, but that was all.

She tried to remember the last time she felt so tired, but it seemed all her memories stopped the day she had kissed David goodbye and turned towards the...hell. Though she had to admit her original images about this place had been far worse. So far she'd been doing just fine. She'd passed through the initial strength test quite effortlessly; push-ups, sit-ups and a mile and a half long run were easy. But she knew things would only get worse.

It felt like a rescue when they were finally ordered to stand at attention and leave the class. Wordlessly they took a formation outside, waiting for their drill instructor to take them to barracks. There they had to get ready for lights out quickly. A last quick check-up by their instructor and they were finally allowed to crawl in their bunks.

"Hey, Shepard," a soft voice from the bunk under hers whispered. "Still looking forward to serving humanity? Even if it's as boring as this day?"

Maya couldn't help but smile despite her drowsiness. "Yeah. Once we're out of the boot camp, life's going to be considerably easier."

"Hope so. I'd hate to keep placing my socks forever in the same place in all my future lockers. But we're still better than soldiers. At least we have guaranteed eight hours long sleep each day."

"Patricia, you're just stealing one of my eight hours," Maya whispered.

Another voice spoke up. "Hey, if nothing else, you gotta love the polite way Shepard tells you to sod off."

"All of you, shut up!"

...

_Hi, John._

_ I feel the need to apologize. I mean...I have always wondered why you're so uptight and all, but I think I understand. After three weeks of being told step by step how to take shower, how to stand, how to eat, how to walk, how to speak (read shout), I've finally started to comprehend you. You're so used to doing everything by the number that you can't stop. And I'm afraid I'm heading right to it too, though I promised myself not to let it go that far._

_ Our DI's a just guy, but when you make him angry...ouch. My arms still hurt from all the push-ups we did yesterday. I was glad I could brush my teeth this morning. There's more to the man, but I'm too tired to write more. So the rest when you come to my graduation. If you come, of course. You don't really have to if you're busy. I kept you back from anyone here anyway. I don't want them to remember me as "John Shepard's little sister". No offence. _

_ Next week we should start marksmanship at last. Finally something I look forward to. I'm fed up with all the drilling and marching and running...and don't you dare to say: "I told you so." I know you said it anyway. See you in ten weeks. _

_...  
_

The weather couldn't be any better. It was a warm, clear day, completely windless. As May lay in the grass, waiting and watching the world in front of her through an assault rifle's sights, everything seemed perfect. With earplugs in all she could hear was her own slow breathing. She wasn't even aware of the soft smile on her lips. It was a calm moment that belonged only to her despite other recruits waiting in the safe distance behind her. Her mind refused to acknowledge even her colleagues lying just meters from her, waiting for their targets to appear as well. Now it was just her and the rifle.

She didn't see the instructor signal the control tower to erect the first set of targets. Her eyes narrowed when it – a piece of iron shaped into a human figure – finally showed up. The "enemy" seemed to be kneeling, as small as the target was, and Maya took a breath. She knew targets were to appear only for a limited time, but thanks to Kyle and his lectures she knew quickly jerking the trigger was a sure way to miss. She let out the breath, closing her left eye. And right before she inhaled, she slowly pulled the trigger. _"The shot must surprise you,"_ Kyle's words echoed in her mind just as the gun barked loudly, sinking into her shoulder for a second. The target fell to the ground.

Maya relaxed a little, opening her left eye and finally sucking in the air. She smirked when she watched clouds of dust rising from ground as some of other recruits missed. Rifles from both left and right were still shooting and the sound died down only after the instructor ordered the tower to lower all remaining targets.

In no time a new set of targets appeared, this time two for each recruit. May tensed and quickly aimed at the first one. Repeating the same procedure as before the target was down quickly. She moved slightly, moving the gun's barrel towards the other target. Just before she shot, however, it lowered suddenly and May frowned. Then she looked to her right, sending a questioning look to the recruit next to her. Mark caught her look and smiled at her hesitantly, giving a half-shrug, before focusing his attention back on his own targets. May chuckled, shaking her head. Both her targets were down, but she aimed again. Mark's target disappeared.

...

_Hi, love. _

_ I'm glad things got better with your boss. I'd hated it if you had to quit because of some jerk, especially when you're starting at the university and you're in a dire need of the money. Me? Well, I'm as fine as I can get. We get smoked a lot, but only when we deserve it (which is far too often for our liking), but I can't complain despite it. We still have better instructors, so whenever I'm mad at them for whatever reason, all I have to do is to look around to know they are still pretty nice guys. They just want to squeeze the best out of each of us. Like yesterday. We were ready to set off for a march, but when we asked about the distance, they refused to tell us, saying that during real missions we might be in a situation when we won't know how long we're going to march, or run, or whatever, and we need to be ready for it. And that when we first feel that we can't go on, it's just our head lying to us and that we can do better. Bold words, but I guess they know what they're saying. Eventually it was just ten kilometres with ten kilograms in our backpacks, nothing terrible. It was quite a relaxing day actually._

_...  
_

_"I have a visual of the last group_," a whispered voice crackled inside May's helmet. "_Five guards. Just two blocks north of your position."_

_ "Are they aware of us?" _another voice spoke up.

_"Negative. How could they?"_

Maya smiled under the helmet. Then a movement to her left drew her attention. A leader of their little group – Malcolm – was gesturing her and her battle to move out. They both reacted immediately. Duncan was leading the couple, May covered their back, as they slowly made their way along the half-wrecked wall. Careful not to make the slightest sound, they stopped when they reached the turn. Duncan swiftly collapsed his assault rifle and snapped it to his back. He lowered himself on the ground, ever so slowly sticking his head from behind the wall. _"All clear,"_ his silent voice whispered inside May's helmet and she moved out from behind the corner quickly, watching the improvised street through her rifle's sights. She crouched, aware of Duncan running behind her to the other side of the street. There he crouched as well, aiming at the opposite side of the street. _"In position," _his voice informed.

_"Teams Bravo and Charlie, move out,"_ Malcolm's voice ordered after a while of silence. In a few seconds May felt someone pat her shoulder. She quickly exchanged a glance with Patricia before standing up and hurrying to the other side of the street. She touched Duncan's shoulder and assumed his position.

_"The enemy's on move," _cametheir scout's warning. _"Heading towards you."_

"Orders?" May asked quickly.

Instead of answer, a short "eh..." came through the comm. Seconds passed unstoppably, all heads turning towards their obviously helpless leader.

_"They are closing in on your position. Man, do something!"_

_ "Malcolm!"_

_ "Okay, let's make an ambush. Team Alfa, get inside the building through that window, and block their retreat. Bravo, across the crossroad and stay behind the building, fire at my command. Charlie, opposite of Bra...no, wait, that's bullshit."_

May, already on her spot together with Duncan, frowned. "Malcolm, hide in the building you're next to. Let Bravo fire at visual. They'll be caught between them and us and the only escape route would be around you. You could take out what would be left of them from the inside, without risking to be caught in a friendly fire," she blurted out and only watched their leader and his battle quickly jump through the large window nearby them.

"_I'll cover south way, east is yours," _his voice instructed his battle quickly.

Erik's voice crackled inside her helmet again. _"They're almost there, get ready, team Bravo." _May and Duncan crouched behind the window when the first steps echoed through the empty "town." Ground was covered in grit so it was easy to hear the training droids as they passed by team Alfa. Frowning, Maya unwittingly grasped the rifle more tightly, taking a deep breath to calm down. Her heart was racing, but it suddenly skipped a beat when first shots were fired. Both she and Duncan simultaneously jumped out of the window. May curled in the air, making a somersault the way John had taught her so long ago. Ending up in a crouch, she quickly aimed her gun and fired. Only three had been standing and team Alfa managed to use their element of surprise to achieve a complete victory.

_"Status report!"_ Malcolm's voice rang loudly as he jumped back at the street, rushing to the rest of his team.

Duncan quickly checked May and once she nodded and stood up, he lifted his hand to touch the side of his helmet. "_Team Alfa, hundred percent."_

_ "Team Bravo, Patricia's down. I've got a chest wound."_

Without a hesitation, Duncan and May quickly hurried to their wounded comrades. Just like Ben stated, Patricia was dead, giving them an apologetic look, but Ben's wound wasn't anything a dose of medigel couldn't fix.

_"Team two, grab your deceased and return for debriefing," _a strict voice of their instructor sounded in their helmets. _"Recruit Donnelly, try not to fall off that tower while you climb down."_

_...  
_

_Today was a totally crazy day, Tobias. We're close to the end of this madness and they more and more treat us like future marines, not noobs or grunts. The action gets exciting too. Ever since we started performing simulated combat situations with the MILE system (laser targeting, I'm sure you know what it is), I've really started to comprehend the whole concept of what we're doing here. Right now we're nothing but machines, trained and drilled to do exactly the only expectable thing depending on the situation. Others seem to be thrilled, but I don't want that. I don't want to be just one of the guys, waiting for the orders, helpless and dependant on your commander's decision. _

_ And there was something else I've discovered today. I knew with every fibre of my body that it wasn't real, but there was a moment I got scared. I can't explain it, maybe it is impossible to explain it. I know – and knew it even back then – that the droids wouldn't hurt us. But as we stood in the middle of the street like sitting ducks, while the scout was urging us to take action, I felt panic starting to take over. And our leader was clueless too, damn…I never thought I might experience something so intense during a stupid training. It was just a moment, but…hell, what am I going to do in a real action? _

_ And the worse part of it? When we sort of figured it out and were waiting for the enemy to walk into our improvised ambush, I caught myself thinking about what John would think about me being such a coward. And not only him. There's someone else whose opinion for some reason mattered to me at the moment. And it wasn't David. No, it was a guy I don't even know. But here I was, in a middle of nowhere, thinking about this guy I met...five, six times in my life. Maybe seven times. I'm afraid I'm neck-deep in troubles._

_ Sorry, I'm rambling, but I had to tell someone. Can't tell David (obviously). John cannot know about him either. They are friends, which left you as the only possible choice. How's Alex by the way? Tell me something, anything, how's Kara? And that crazy dog of yours…what was his name? Damn…_

_...  
_

The night was unexpectedly chilly, but Maya's enviro-suit managed to keep her warm enough. She sat on the cold ground, clutching her assault rifle in her arms as if it was a lover, leaning against a tree trunk with her back. Her head bent back, touching the tree with her helmet as well, her eyes up watching the cloudless sky. It felt unreal that in a matter of few days she would finally leave this madness. Just a few days until graduation and her first assignment. She felt like a little child whenever she thought about it. It was incredibly exciting and she was looking forward to it.

But it was dreadful as well. It would take her to the most exciting, exotic, dangerous and the seediest corners of the galaxy, away from everyone she knew. But again, she'd been there already. Coming to Earth felt like a rehearsal for this. But this time she knew the people were still somewhere. John, David, Sabine..._Kaidan,_ May thought and bit on her lower lip to stop herself from smiling. She really shouldn't be thinking about him.

_Damned that stupid kiss..._ she cursed inwardly and finally wiped the smile off, frowning slightly. _Two years and it's still haunting me. _She let out a long sigh of frustration, lifting her eyes up towards the sky again.

All at once she heard footsteps behind her. She tensed and quickly readied her rifle, before she realized the steps were coming from their camp. Looking from behind the tree she smiled at Patricia as she approached her. "My, my...what are you doing here all alone, watching the moon and stars?" she asked before sitting down.

"It's my watch," Maya responded, turning her attention back on the sky.

"Oh, and here I thought you were using this moment to think about someone," Patricia whispered, her broad smile audible in her voice.

Maya couldn't help, but chuckle silently. "Well...maybe I was for a moment."

"Someone...special?" Patricia went on silently, leaning against the tree next to her, watching the night sky as well. When May didn't answer for some time, she frowned and moved to look at her.

May bent her head to watch the gun still firmly grasped in her hands. _Someone special…_ her tired mind repeated and her lips perked up slightly on their own accord, brightening her face in a way Patricia hadn't seen before. For a moment it looked like nothing the recruit she knew. Though Shepard had her own sense of humour, she remained rather serious most of the time. Patricia suspected it was mostly because most of their time was filled with training, running, shooting, drilling, marching and other interesting activities. They had very little time to get to know each other's less professional sides, but she thought she had managed to peek through Shepard's inner armour. But now she was sure she'd never seen more sincere emotion on her face.

Patricia smiled. "The blond guy?" she offered her own answer, not really needing May's now. "I remember seeing you two back on Earth. A blonde and a redhead – two hair colours that are now quite rare thanks to races-mingling," she chuckled. "I remember I thought it was him going here and when I saw you in the shuttle taking us to boot camp, I was quite surprised. Didn't know we'd end up in the same platoon, though."

May bit her lip and ever so slowly took a breath, buying herself as much time to think as she could. Of course, she could always smile and nod and start singing serenades about David. Or she could finally admit how she really felt all the time. Maybe it would feel good to finally say it out loud. And the possibility of Patricia meeting any of the two was…zero. "I was thinking about someone else," she whispered as if afraid David might hear her. "Isn't it crazy? I should miss the guy I've been with for more than a year, and here I think about guy whom I've met a few times in my life."

The silence before her friend responded seemingly stretched out for eternity. "Someone other than the cutie? Damn…he must be hot."

"He's a friend," Shepard simply stated, shrugging. "Nothing special, just someone who helped me with…something related to what we're doing and I just remembered him."

"If you say so…" Patricia muttered, probably disappointed that she dodged her question. But she knew Shepard far to well to press on. When she didn't want something, there was no one and nothing anyone could do about it.

...

_Hey._

_ I know this letter is a waste of my precious time of freedom and space, but despite everything, you deserve some thoughts too. I know I won't be able to to send the letter, or rather it would never arrive, but I feel like I need to do this. _

_ I haven't told you, but I'm going to be like John. Right, as if I could hear you right now. So what? Everyone's going to die anyway. And I just didn't know what else to do. All I know is farming…well, until now. Now I have a few new tricks up my sleeve, though it's still nothing special. But I'll get better. I promise. You'll be proud of me. Or you would have been. Damn…_

_ I often think where I would have been if things had occurred differently, but it's not with remorse. I'm contented here, I feel as if I really belong here, with the rifle, the enviro-suits and everything. _

_ Tomorrow is our graduation. I'll be there, standing at attention in the dress blue, looking like I've never looked before, like you would have never imagined me looking. I only wish you could be here to watch me stand there, to tell me how silly my hair is, short and all, or how….I don't know. I'll be probably the only one without anyone there. John's somewhere across the galaxy, David's on business trip or something and Alex would probably kill Tobias if he insisted to be here. Funny, three people are my entire life. I have no one else. I miss you._

_ Hell, I miss you so much. _

_ I've got an assignment too. The SSV Hawking. Captain Alenko. Funny. I know a guy of that name, so maybe it's a good sign. It's John's friend and a biotic like him (the guy, not the captain). He met him in the brain camp._

_ By the way, I'm a biotic too, did you know? Took me sixteen years to discover the ability. They offered to send me to training focused on the biotics next year, but I refused that for now. I know it's a long time, but I want to know what it really looks like to be on board a ship, part of a crew. Besides, my biotic is quite good. And I don't use it much yet. Actually, except for the instructors, no one knows here. And I'm glad for that. Don't tell John. I will undertake that course, but later. Who knows? Maybe I'll find out the real fighting isn't really the thing for me. I never felt good about killing the guy back on the Citadel and that was an accident. And it was easy to hit targets. But how will intentional killing feel, I wonder? Did John have these doubts too? I could never ask him. He didn't want me to join the Alliance, admitting thoughts like this would be like saying he was right about it. And he wasn't. _

_ And one day he is going to salute me. I just know it. Stupid ambitions. Maybe it will break me, but I know I'm definitely not going down without a fight._

_ So…that is all. The message is written, and it is going to end in the omnitool's memory forever. I'm not going to delete it. I can't. It would be like deleting you. And I can't do that. I love you._

_ I love you. I wasn't telling you that nearly as enough times as you deserved, but I really do love you and miss you and I would give anything to see your faces again. Mom, Dad, wherever you are…just…I love you._

_...  
_

It was strange how quickly she got accustomed to the life on board a ship. It was a cramped place, somehow always full of hurry, yet strangely calm and incredibly friendly. People there were like one big family. Spending so much time together with nowhere to go, it seemed almost impossible that they hadn't killed each other yet.

The SSV Hawking wasn't any large, it was just a frigate and so her crew knew one another like the back of their hand. And her captain was the reason. Maya had never before met anyone like him. Frederic Alenko, a man in his fifties, was a very charismatic and just person. He was kind to his crew and it didn't take long for Maya to see he knew every single subordinate of his personally. He'd spoken to all of them, gotten to know them, listened to them and shared their worries. But he still remained their captain nonetheless. He had this air of authority around him and whenever he was on deck, people showed just how much they respected him. They would do anything for their captain.

Smiling softly at her plate, she took a slow breath, poking the…whatever she was eating with a fork. It wasn't very tasty, but it was made specifically for her. As a biotic she needed to eat more and the ship's cook knew it. Especially when she was actively using her abilities.

When she heard soft steps, she lifted her head, using her free hand to put her hair behind her ear. She was surprised to see the very person she'd been just thinking about walking down the stairs. His jacket was folded over his arm and he was just working with the top button of his white shirt when he stopped to look at the lone person in the mess. "Private Shepard…" he said, his tone bearing a hint of a smile.

"Sir," she nodded and stood up. The fork clanked loudly against the table when she dropped it to salute her commanding officer.

"At ease," he smiled at her and to her surprise he approached the table. "Do you mind some company?" he asked and May blinked. Her eyes turned to the leftovers, then they quickly locked with his hazel ones again.

"Don't be like this, kid," he smiled and threw his jacked across the chair's backrest, sitting down. "Sit down and go on, I know what an empty stomach can do to a biotic."

"Thank you, sir," she answered quickly and sat down. She reached out to pick up the fork again, but after a second of hesitation she laid it on the table and took a breath to speak. "Did you want to speak to me, sir?"

"I did," he nodded. He joined his hands, elbows on the table as he watched her. "I've just read Keith's report," he said and took a short pause. He was waiting for her to say anything, but she just went on staring at him. "Your action has sparkled my interest," he went on, probably realizing she wasn't going to say anything.

"It was nothing special, sir," she shrugged.

"I've seen your records, but I don't recall reading anything about you being a good diplomat."

May smiled for a moment and dropped her eyes to her plate. "Well, the guy wasn't a terrorist. Just…broken," she shrugged, looking back at her CO. "He needed help. What he did practically screamed for one. I just knew he'd never hurt the hostages. He just wanted someone to…"

"Keith would have shot him down," captain said when she trailed of. "Not killed, he's good at non-lethal shooting, but you interfered despite his direct order. And probably saved us a lot of mess and paper work, not to mention the lives of all those people that could have been hurt. I just wanted you to know I approve of this kind of disobedience."

"Thank you sir," May mumbled. "I think…"

His kind face smiled at her. "And I'm here to give you and advice, too. Keith was very appreciative about you in the report. No fraternizing. It's both against the regs and for your sake."

That made her chuckle. "Don't worry, sir. Fraternizing is the last thing to come to my mind as for lieutenant Christopher Keith. But, do me a favour, sir, and don't tell him. I don't want to break his heart."

"Sense of humour. I like that in a soldier," he nodded and sighed heavily, standing up slowly while collecting his jacket in his arms.

"Calling it a day, sir?" she asked.

"Why not? I'm sure the XO can take it from here while I have forty winks. You should too, by the way," he uttered, disappearing from her vision field.

"Aye aye, sir."

"That wasn't an order."

"I know. I just…" She startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She quickly looked up to see captain standing above her. "I understand. There was time I was just a rookie, too. It's nice to see so much enthusiasm in someone like you. Not everyone knows what to do with their lives," he said with a hint of sadness.

"Hm...I wonder…" May whispered when the sound of his feet finally died down.

...

May couldn't almost remember the last time she was on Earth and after so long it almost felt like returning home again. When the shuttle had docked and she had gotten out, her hands holding the sling of her sport bag while she lifted her head to see the blue sky, she felt happy. She was smiling when she made her way through the crowds, heading towards the main hall of the Vancouver spaceport.

She wasn't looking around, though. She knew no one was waiting for her there. David was on a business trip again and wouldn't return before tomorrow afternoon, and John was somewhere in the Terminus system. Or at least he'd been there the last time they talked. Unlike her he was in real life-threatening combat situations. Not that her service had been a walk through a park so far. She'd seen things that make her adventure on the Citadel pale in comparison, but it still couldn't get anywhere near to John was doing.

And she almost wished she was there with him. Not that the Traverse was boring. It still needed a lot of time, resources and efforts to maintain peace in the area, especially when humanity seemed to fight for every inch of the space with batarian slavers. But there were other dangerous things luring in those unstable regions that needed a stronger hand. And since the Council refused to wage an open war in this area, it used the humanity's desire to claim a part of the galactic space for them to keep – or at least to try to keep – peace in Traverse.

People were chatting loudly as she walked slowly, her muscles still tired and little sore from the training Keith had made them endure before their short shore leave. She felt drowsy as well, and wished nothing more than to finally sit down and do absolutely nothing. Maybe except for making herself something to eat.

She was almost at the exit of the giant dome, the spaceport's main hall, when she picked out a person in the crowd. Despite herself she smiled and her legs suddenly changed the way, leading her towards someone she absolutely hadn't expected to see here.

Kaidan didn't seem to notice her until she was almost next to him. The surprise in his eyes was quickly gone, though, when he smiled at her. "May? Is that you? W-what are you doing here?" he asked her, his eyes scanning her from head to toe.

"Nice to see you, too, Kaidan," she laughed at his expression. "Come on, I haven't changed that much. Shorter hair, maybe a little taller than you remember and with a few new scars," she said as if it was something worth bragging about. "I've got a few days off so I've come home," she smiled, easing the bag off her shoulder. Thanks to her gear inside it was pretty heavy.

"I see..." he nodded and for a moment they were both quiet, unsure what to say. The awkward silence seemed so strong that it drowned out every other sound, as if the two of them weren't surrounded by hundreds of people at all.

"Well...why are you here? You don't look like you're travelling anywhere, otherwise you wouldn't stand here like that," May finally spoke up after clearing her throat.

Kaidan nodded slowly, then his eyes widened a little and they quickly scanned the crowd in front of him. "I'm...waiting for my father. He's sent a message he was coming and asked me to pick him up. You'd think an Alliance Captain might finally learn to drive a speeder."

That made her laugh. "He can't drive?"

"Actually, he can," Kaidan admitted, his eyes once again on the woman next to him, attracted by the sound of her laughter. "He just keeps on telling he'd forgotten it a long ago, because he doesn't like it."

"Me neither. The traffic makes me go crazy," she shrugged. "Anyway...I think I'll go now, I have it across the whole Vancouver and can't decide if I'm more tired or hungry."

"Wait? The whole Vancouver? John doesn't live that far," Kaidan commented, shooting her a confused look. It even deepened when she suddenly smiled and bit her lip. "He doesn't. But I'm not going to his flat. I've bought my own. My...own flat," she repeated it as if she still couldn't believe it. "Not John's, not David's though he lives there with me...but mine. However I won't enjoy it for long. In the morning I have to be at the HQ for instructions as for the biotic course your father has sent me on. That was very kind of him to recommend me, by the way," she said and started laughing again when her words hit home. However, before she could actually explain, she heard her name and when she turned around, she was facing the very man they'd just been talking about. "Captain," she smiled and her right hands twitched as she was about to salute. However the realization that they were both off-duty and wearing their civil clothes stopped her.

"You said he…so you two know each other?" Kaidan asked and his father smiled at me. "I could ask the same."

"Kaidan, I serve under your father. Captain, I'm sure you know Kaidan and John Shepard are quite close buddies. I'm John's sister. He introduced us. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, though I knew it from the very first moment. Kaidan has your eyes," she smiled, feeling strangely mischievous about the way Kaidan awkwardly brushed the back of his neck as if he felt embarrassed by the whole situation. Though she failed to see what made him feel so. She laughed softly and shook her head after she realized just how much she liked it.

But then the smile froze on her lips when she reflected on what she'd just said. "I'm sorry, captain, that was…inappropriate. I…I should go," she stuttered and paid them last quick smile before turning around. The crowd wasn't as thick here, but she managed to mingle among other people fast, feeling the heat rising up her neck and cheeks.

_That was…stupid! Kaidan has you eyes?! Damn…!_, she cursed herself, unintentionally tightening the grip on the sling, her knuckles went white. _ I've spent a year on that ship and I managed to embarrass myself in ten seconds!, _she went on, gritting her teeth.

She walked through the large opened door into the warm sun. The air smelled of summer, peace and quiet. Her thoughts of Kaidan and is father gone, she smiled softly and took a deep breath. After a year of breathing either recycled air or a strange one, it felt like the sweetest welcome to breathe Earth's fresh late afternoon's air.

Sticking the thumb of her hand behind her jeans, she set off towards the car park to find herself a taxi. She frowned suddenly, when she heard quick steps coming closer to her from behind. She moved to look around her shoulder when someone grabbed her elbow. What happened next was quick. Reflexes she didn't know she had developed kicked in and she reacted. A painful grunt informed her her heel successfully sunk into someone's instep, the grip on her arm loosened. Her possessions, guns and gear clanked when the bag hit the ground as she swiftly dropped it to free her arms in order to throw the attacker on the ground.

Her stiff posture relaxed when she saw the one lying in front of her, and she burst out laughing at the sight. Kaidan chuckled helplessly as she nearly knocked wind out of him and sat up, reaching to massage his right foot.

"Kaidan…" she choked, trying to control the laughter. "I'm…sorry…are you…alright?" She offered her hand to help him up, putting a little more effort when she pulled him to his feet. Their bodies crashed and they ended up and awkward embrace. It took less than a second before Kaidan pushed himself away, but even the short contact was enough to stop May's laughter.

"Eh…I'm really sorry, Kaidan," she repeated, taking another step away from him as he bent down to pick up her bag from the ground. "There was a lot of free time on the ship and we sparred a lot and…"

"Ugh…what do you have inside?" Kaidan asked, trying to ignore the little knot of gapers around them.

"Two pistols, an assault rifle and my enviro-suit," she bit her lip. "Among other things…Are you sure you're okay?" she asked again, her tone worried, and she laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Embarrassed, but unharmed," he said, checking his elbow for scratches as he hit the ground. His skin had been a little grazed, but he wasn't bleeding. "Eh…I came to offer you a lift…should I take this as a no?" he asked, smiling softly as he tried to ease the atmosphere a little. The circle around them finally started to disperse slowly.

Maya bit her lip and touched the back of her neck, carefully touching the skin round the amp jack. "I don't think it's a good idea. It's very kind of you, but I've made a fool in front of your father already and I'll have to…"

"Actually, it was his idea," he cut her off, brushing his clothes. "And don't worry, for the rest of the day he's not going to talk about anything else than how you beat me up," he added with a ghost of a smile on his face.

May opened her mouth to speak, to decline his offer, but it was the smile that made her shrug eventually and say: "Well…okay. Thank you, it's…should I take the bag?" she added and pointed at her sport bag, but Kaidan simply shook her head and motioned to the direction of his speeder. As they set off, May could see Kaidan's father leaning against it, still smiling mischievously.

"See?" Kaidan whispered, nodding towards his father. "I'm going to hear about it all day."

"I'm sorry," May smiled again. "I just heard someone running and when you caught me…I didn't even know I would ever react that way, but it was…I just couldn't stop…"

"…until you saw me sprawled at your feet, I get it."

It was just so weird and May just kept on asking herself what the hell she was doing there. She should have been on her way to her flat, but here she was – standing on the balcony, breathing cool night air and watching the city lights dance across the water surface. Leaning against the handrail with her elbows, her chin in her palms, her eyes trailing across the bay stretching in front of her, she couldn't help but laugh at the stupidity of the situation.

Kaidan's family was the most kind and light-hearted family she'd ever met. Not only they offered her a lift, but once Kaidan's Mom ran in front of their house to welcome her husband home after so long, she even invited her for a dinner. After a few fable attempts to talk her way out of it as politely as she could, she ended up seated at their table, trying to ignore the heat in her cheeks and the intrusive feeling of embarrassment at Kaidan's apparent amusement of her discomfort. And when the dinner was over, it was too late to go anywhere, according to Kaidan's mother, and so May now had a freshly made bed in a guest room, waiting for her to finally go to sleep.

The glass door behind her opened almost soundlessly and she could tell who came in even without looking over her shoulder. Before she could move a beercan appeared in front of her. She lifted her eyes to Kaidan and accepted the offered drink with a thankful smile.

"I see you've discovered the best view in all Vancouver," he said and mimicked her posture, leaning against the handrail.

"That's good. You should write it down for future tourists coming this way," she said, taking a sip from the can.

"Sorry for them," he said after a while of silence.

"Them? Your parents? Why? They were awesome. Although…are they always so…hospitable, or am I somehow special?" she asked with a mischievous gleam in her eyes as she turned to him.

"Mom is like that," he nodded, smiling. "Dad however…you must have made quite an impression out there," he nodded towards the English Bay as if it represented the "out there" he spoke about.

"Well," she shrugged, "at least the HQ's not that far from here. And David's not coming before tomorrow afternoon…no harm done. Hey, is something wrong?" she asked, paying Kaidan a searching look. "You're frowning," she reflected.

He shook his head slowly. "Just thinking."

"…while frowning. So what is it?"

He didn't answer right away. He scowled deeper, looked over the bay and drunk some of the beer. And May waited patiently, knowing very well what it was like, searching for the right words and failing. "Dad never talks about his work," he said finally, his eyes intently watching the English Bay. "He doesn't want to upset Mom. You can imagine why. But today…"

"He talked about it," May nodded. "I thought it was normal."

"No, it wasn't," he answered and somehow his tone made May feel so sad, as rueful as he sounded.

"Do you have any idea why he would so suddenly open up about it?" she asked, thought it came sounding a little more unsure and hesitant than she wanted.

"I admire you, you know?" he said, seemingly changing the topic. But in truth he simply skipped one sentence. Because you were here. "You are brave," he went on, not giving her enough time to think of something to say. "You were on your knees once, no…twice," he turned to her suddenly. "Mindoir and the Citadel, but here you stand today. As if nothing happened, it only made you stronger."

"Is this something from the brain camp?" she asked softly, taking advantage of the pause he made to take a breath. He didn't answer her, he just looked at her with the same calm expression she knew from John. Maybe it was biotic thing. Or rather, a thing of biotics from the brain camp. But she didn't need him to speak now. His eyes betrayed him and she could tell something incredibly bad had to happen to him back there. Something that, as he had put it, brought him to his knees for some reason. "Don't think it was easy," she whispered, making a half-step closer to him. She set the can on the handrail and joined her hands in front of her. "I…I killed a man back on the Citadel," she whispered and looked away from him. Thus she didn't see the way his eyes widened suddenly.

"It was an accident. I was just protecting myself, but he launched at me and I shot him with his own gun I'd taken from him moments before. They…swept it under the carpet. I never heard anything about him, maybe because he was Cerberus and Cerberus is one big secret," she added and looked at him again, smiling sadly. "But John was there. And we talked on the way back and suddenly everything seemed so…different. As if I needed this, Adam and all the fear and hurt, to open my eyes and see through Mindoir." She wasn't even sure why she was telling him this. She didn't know if this was what he needed. But she wanted to tell him.

"And there were the biotic abilities," she went on. "And John's training…and I found new purpose. I wanted to make this galaxy a better place, as silly notion as it is," she went on, her smile broadening hesitantly. "Kaidan, whatever happened to you, you must use it to your advantage. The first time I used biotic in front of my teammates? They were…shocked, to say the least. They had never seen it with their own eyes before and I could tell they were a little bit afraid of what else I could do. It's human nature. To be afraid of things we don't know, but now they do not fear me anymore," she took another pause, taking a long breath.

"And even thought we haven't saved any colony, we're doing anything in our power to protect our people out there, and that drives me forward. But I'll never forget the man's eyes as I shot him. They were violet, turning into dark purple near his pupils. I broke his nose, too," she remembered suddenly and she unwittingly caressed the bottom of her right hand. "He's dead, but he's still here to make me remember what I'm doing this for. So that there are fewer kidnapped people or hurt or killed. But who knows? Maybe one day this will stop and we'll all be on the same wavelength, helping each other, in stead of fighting. Humans, batarians, asari, turians…every species."

"That would have to be quite a force to unite the whole galaxy," Kaidan said and May was glad to find him finally smiling again.

"We just need to realize we want the same things, Kaidan," she reminded him and looked over the breathtaking view in front of them. "I guess what I wanted to say was you can do better. You just refuse to see it, because you are afraid of something. Maybe that's what you father wanted you to understand when he invited me here."

"But he didn't…"

"Oh, yes, he did," she said firmly, looking him in the eyes. "He had to know your Mom wouldn't let me go just like that once I showed up here. It was a very cunning, sly and not so obvious scheme."

Kaidan looked her in the eyes and frowned slightly again, thinking, the meaning of what she'd just said slowly sinking in.

She could see he was thinking about her words, and she smiled, glad the sad expression was gone from his eyes. Suddenly realizing how close they stood, she made a step back, fumbling to get the beercan again so that she'd stop her hands from shaking. It took her a lot of self-control to look away from him again, and she took a deep breath to calm her racing heart, despite her own brain screaming at her what the hell she was doing.

It had felt so good to be in his arms, however awkward and very short moment it was. Even thought she'd picked him up from the ground where she'd thrown him previously, she'd wanted them to stay like that forever. Suddenly she caught herself licking her lips as her memories wandered on, returning to the day so many years ago. The gym. His hand in her hair, the other pressing her close to him. She shivered at the memory, almost crushing the can in her hands as if it could be something she could hold on, something that could help her anyhow.

"Are you cold?" his voice sounded, finally breaking the strange trance she'd found herself in. "You've got goose-prickles," he stated, touching her on her arm. Or rather, he wanted to touch her, but she quickly jerked her arm away from him, virtually jumping from him. "A little bit. That's the lack of sleep," she mumbled. "I should…ehm…go to bed, probably. I need to be up early tomorrow."

"Aright," Kaidan nodded. "Sweet dreams, May."

She smiled at him and opened the door leading inside. "To you, too," she responded and walked inside, closing the door behind her. She knew he was watching her, so she willed herself to walk calmly as she made her way to the staircase. Only when she was safely in the guest room, she leaned with her back against the door and sighed. "I'm sorry, David…I'm so sorry…"

...

May stifled her yawn with the back of her hand as she entered her access code into the panel next to a door leading to her flat. She felt tired; she'd hardly slept. She had lain awake most of the night, unable to fall asleep. Her own conscious had made it impossible even thought she'd done nothing wrong. She felt guilty however. She liked David. She liked him a lot, but she didn't love him. She couldn't. She loved someone else…and all because of one stupid kiss that made her forget everything around her for a split second.

"Here you are…" a grim voice greeted her inside. She started, freezing just as she stepped into the corridor. She stood face to face with David.

He looked angry, glowering and his jaw was firmly set while he folded his arms over his chest. "Where have you been?" he barked out, not moving to help her with her bag, scrutinizing her.

"What are you doing here?" May asked weakly. "I thought you wouldn't return until afternoon."

"I figured that much when I came here last night and you weren't here even when you should have. Where have you been?"

May shook her head and walked deeper into flat, making her way into the living room. She sat the bag on the floor next to a sofa before turning to David. "I met a friend at the spaceport and since I knew I'd be arriving into an empty flat I accepted it when I was invited over," she responded calmly.

"A friend…" David repeated. "And you slept there, right?"

"David, I'm not in mood for this. I'm tired and I was just told to…"

"Tired? Wonder what you've been doing at night that you're tired now," he snapped.

"Are you accusing me of something?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her as well. "Because if you are, you're being ridiculous. I only visited a friend at the time you weren't supposed to be here. You can't blame me for this. If you'd written you were here I would have come home immediately, and you know it," she said, trying not to sound irked. She'd tormented herself enough to last a life time. She didn't really need to be reminded of any of it anymore.

David's posture changed at that. He relaxed and then reached out, asking her to come closer. She glared at him for a while, not sure if she should allow him to get out of it so easily, but she relented a second later. With a smile she snuggled up to him while he closed his arms around her. "I'm sorry…when I came and you weren't here, I was afraid something had happened to you. That's all," he whispered into her hair, caressing her back gently.

She smiled, biting her lip, as she remembered what she'd done to Kaidan. "I'd pity anyone foolish enough to try to hurt me. Don't worry. The basics and constant training on ship did teach me something," she mumbled and kissed his neck gently.

He pulled away and took her face into his hands, looking her in the eyes for a moment before he kissed her on her lips. "I missed you…" he whispered and kissed her again, more deeply this time. His hands slid down her neck and shoulders, gently taking her arms as he stumbled back to where he remembered the sofa was. He stumbled over May's bag however, so they ended up on the sofa more quickly then they expected. Neither of them minded though.

...

Maya lay on a bunk, feeling the soft shivering from the ship's engine as she was speeding up, rising up through the Earth's atmosphere. She felt so empty even though mere hours ago everything had seemed so perfect. She couldn't understand it. Everything had been fine. They had made love for so long and when she'd fallen asleep in his arms, she was the happiest person in the universe. But then she'd woken up and everything went wrong.

_"What? May, slow down, what happned?"_

_ "Lena, h-he…left! He just got so angry and left!"_

_ "Who left? Girl, you don't make sense."_

_ "David! I told him I had to leave for Thessia, and he got so angry, got dressed and left."_

_ "Wait a minute, why would he…?"_

_ "I don't know. He was babbling something about tomorrow's reunion party with our former classmates from secondary school and some dinner and how I destroyed it all...!"_

Thessia. Even this word had been a source of excitement. The biotic training would take place there. They would be lead by asari, since humans had limited knowledge about biotics. But it meant her shore leave was cut short.

_"I had to go to catch a shuttle, but I wrote him thousand messages. He hasn't responded to either of them yet."_

_ "Just calm down…there must be some explanation to his behaviour."_

She could feel her eyes watering just when she remembered the scene. She'd never seen him so furious.

_"He was angry when I came. He thought I slept with someone else. I didn't!"_

_ "Why would he think that?"_

_ "I didn't know he was home again and slept over at a friend."_

Finally the roaring died down a little and she knew it meant the ship was up in the space, heading for the mass relay. She lifted her arm and turned on her omnitool. _No new messages,_ she read and a sob escaped her lips just as her arm hit the bunk next to her again, the omnitool still projected around her forearm.

_"May, just stop this and start thinking. Hasn't he ever mentioned something indicating he wasn't happy in a relationship with you?"_

_ "No! Everything was fine. The last time we spoke he reassured me he couldn't wait for us to be together again."_

As other sobs started shaking her body, she hid her face in her palms, closing her eyes. It seemed ironic. For a year she'd been now serving the Alliance and despite all she'd seen she'd remain strong. And now she was here crying like a little baby over a little…

_"…misunderstanding."_

_ "There was no misunderstanding, Lena!"_

_ "There had to be. Just…I know you're upset now, but put it aside, focus on the impending training. He'll calm down and call you, I'm sure of it."_

_...  
_

"He'll call…yeah…sure," she mumbled angrily as she checked her omnitool again, gritting her teeth angrily as she waited for the turbolift to finally arrive. She was late and the stupid machine was taking so incredibly long.

She frowned and looked at the C-Sec hall's reflection in the glass door of the lift. _The whole way to the Citadel and he didn't bother…_Even her thoughts sounded angry, betrayed and bitter. She simply couldn't understand it. And everyone around looked so normal, as if they didn't care about how miserably she felt.

"What's taking you so long, goddamned!" she exclaimed finally, using her palm to hit the door impatiently, as if it could speed up the lift.

"They take so long so that you can hear the news or chat with anyone you're inside with," a familiar voice sounded behind her. "Hey," John smiled broadly, when she spun around quickly. "Didn't expect me here? You should have. There aren't that many biotics in the Alliance yet."

...

David's mood was grim. No, it was even grimmer. Standing in front of a bar counter, he was whirling the golden liquid in his glass, not really sure what it was he was drinking. All he knew was he wanted more. He wanted to forget he was here alone, that his planes had been crushed and ripped apart. He wanted to forget about the ring he had in his pocket, too.

He hated it. He hated the way she always came for a few days and left again. He felt as if she was slipping through his fingers, like he was losing her and therefore wanted to make their union official. He wanted some…assurance…even a feeble one…that she is his and only his. Maybe it was a wrong reason to ask a girl to marry him, but he loved her, so what? He'd ask her sooner or later, so why not sooner? The problem was, she was gone again. She had her duty, again, her stupid duty that kept separating the two of them.

As he watched the whirling surface, he wondered what she was doing right now. She was probably in a ship taking her to Thessia – David frowned at the thought of the fucking place – surrounded by her teammates, joking with them in her light-hearted way, them joking with her, all having fantastic fun, while he had only the half-empty glass to keep him company.

"I never thought you drink so much…"

...

May was sitting on her bunk, her bag left unpacked at its feet, when John entered her quarters. Not that it was just her room, she shared it with other biotics, but right now she was alone here.

She lifted her head when he walked it, sending a meek smile towards him. "Hey," she chimed silently, straightening a little bit.

"Hey yourself," John responded and moved to sit next to her. "So…is something wrong?" he asked immediately. Subtlety wasn't exactly his strong point.

"What makes you say so?" she asked, not meeting his eyes.

"Come on, you look like you haven't been sleeping in a very long time."

She blinked and gave him a searching look. "Meaning I look messy?"

"You know what I mean, sis. Lena called me."

"Right…at least you admit it," she shrugged and sighed again. "Well, you know probably everything so there's no reason to repeat it all or to talk about it whatsoever."

"If you insist. I just wanted to play the big brother once."

"I know," she whispered and smiled. "Thanks for that, but there's just no reason why I should feel bad about it. I've been thinking about the whole situation and I've done nothing wrong, so whatever it was that made him so upset, it's his problem and I can't solve it when I don't know what it is," she said firmly, not really sure if she was convincing him or herself.

"Are you sure? Lena seemed really worried about you," he asked again, watching her profile. She was frowning, her lips set in a tight line, stubbornness in her eyes.

"I am. I can't help him now. I don't feel good about it, but it's his problem. And maybe it's not even related to me. Maybe he has other problems…"

"…or he's simply jealous."

Maya narrowed her eyes, turning her face to him. "Jealous?" she echoed weakly.

"Think about it. You spend limited time together, and he was looking forward to being with you, but you had to leave. It's not easy to have a serious relationship when you're a marine."

Maya bit her lip and nodded twice. "You know, Lena might be actually right about this one," she mumbled, somehow feeling this didn't come from John. Her brother shrugged and looked away from her. "Either way, it's nothing I can change. He never said he didn't want me to join the Alliance and now it's too late to change it. So if this is the problem he either has to get used to such life or…" she trailed off, hanging her head.

John didn't say anything for a moment, and when he finally at least lifted his arm to wrap it around her shoulders, she stood up abruptly. "I'm hungry," she said and headed towards door. Then she spun around suddenly. "So I take it you two are finally together? I mean the last year, the two of you dancing around each other stupidly, when it was plain to see you'd one day end up in bed. She always kept me posted, but one day she started to be rather secretive about you and the way you so suspiciously started to spend so much time back on Earth…I simply assumed…"

"You're too clever for your own good, sis."

She smiled at him. "I'm happy for you, John. For both of you. She's great."

...

"I don't…" David answered and frowned at the glass as he slammed it back against the counter, damping his own hand as the drink splashed from the glass.

"I see…problems with Shepard?" Taylor purred as she sat on the bar stool next to him. "I can't see her anywhere," she added, looking around casually.

"She's at work," David admitted, watching the little what was left of his drink.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said quietly.

"No, you're not," David shook his head. He was drunk, but not so much to actually believe her. "You never liked her. Fortunately, she didn't care about you and all the the things you used to do to spite her, and that made you hate her even more."

She snorted and looked away from him, smoothing her dress. "You talk like she was some kind of a superstar. But let me tell you, superstars don't abandon their boyfriends."

"Listen, Taylor, she didn't abandon me," he growled, slowly loosing his temper with the insufferable woman. She didn't understand it, she had no idea what it was like between him and Maya and yet she had the guts to insult her. "She has her duty and she goes where she's needed. She's just needed somewhere on the other goddamned side of the galaxy so she's there. If you excuse me now…" he trailed off, bringing the glass to his lips, emptying it.

She made a face for second, then reached out and touched him on his arm. "David, you must stop the drinking. One more and you'll be lying under this counter. I hate it when you're so down. So if you don't have fun here, just…go home. It's better than to be here and…suffer like that."

"Didn't know you cared," he muttered.

"I do, David," she whispered and stood up. "It pains me too see you like this...so hurt. Because of her."

"It's not her fault…" he protested. He felt like he needed to explain everything so that she would understand. "It's the guy she serves with. He is hitting on her."

"She has an affair?"

David looked at Taylor sadly. She still didn't understand. "No. She ignores him. I could see it. He came to her quarters once when she was just recording a message for me. She sent him to hell almost before he started speaking, but what if someday she won't do it? What if she decides that she likes him more than me? What than?"

"That's it," Taylor frowned and stood up, taking his hand. "You're getting out of here. You speak nonsense. You need fresh air." His eyes followed her cluelessly as she took his arm and helped him off the bar stool. He stumbled immediately, but she caught him before he could fall. "Alright…the fresh air will do you good," she mumbled as she dragged him across the room.

"You're so nice to me, Taylor…almost as nice as May…" he was babbling incoherently.

...

May kept on smiling, looking around as if she'd never seen anything like this. Actually, she hadn't. She was used to the Citadel, all kind of species everywhere, the mix of languages as they spoke, the way every race behaved and moved…but this was something else. She'd never seen so many asari in one place. Of course, they were on Thessia.

"For so many blue chicks, they really look disciplined. And look at the awesome skin-tight brown uniforms…" one of the other biotics in their group commented, looking out the window where a handful of commandos were practising.

"Welcome to the Alliance," a woman next to Maya whispered to her, rolling her eyes.

"Man, I hear you. I would stand at attention for any of them," another stated.

"Guys, you're disgusting," Maya frowned, but inwardly she had to admire the asari as well. They were all so beautiful that it almost seemed impossible. Each of them had a certain charm about her, no matter what she was wearing or doing. They were an avatar of grace and though May never had thing for women somehow the image of her and some asari wasn't as repulsive as she would have thought. The whole race simply had this effect and she just wondered whether they influenced other species the same way. She smiled broadly as she imagined a turian platoon slobbering over one of the commandos. _Can turians slobber?, _she suddenly thought.

She shook her head suddenly, realizing how silly her thoughts were. She looked at other biotics next to her, all watching out the window appreciatively, and somehow she knew the next month was going to be enormous fun.

The moment was just perfect and May couldn't think of anything to make it even better. _Or maybe there is something,_ she thought and lifter her arm. She turned her omnitool on. Her eyes grew wide when a new message was blinking at her from the holographic screen. Her heart started beating madly as she opened it and started reading.

John watched his sister's face in the window as she stared at her omnitool. Her expression was deadpan and only now he realized how annoying it was, not to know what others thought. And suddenly she smiled and closed her eyes, cradling her left arm to her chest.

_Damn…I was looking forward to give him a hiding…_he thought and turned his attention back outside.

...

David's hands were shaking when he laid the omnitool on the bedside table. He felt…dirty. In every meaning of the word. He'd snapped at May without reason. She hadn't known what he had planned for her. It hadn't been her fault. But he was so angry and sad and…drunk. He was simply drunk. And he only made things worse because of it, but with luck she'd never know.

How could she? She wasn't here. She was never here. And maybe it wouldn't be all that bad. And David couldn't help himself, but when he thought about the last night, he just couldn't bring himself to regret it. _This doesn't mean I don't love her anymore. I do and this had nothing to do with it. She simply mustn't know about it and everything will be fine, _he thought and his eyes travelled to the other side of the bed. Taylor was smiling softly from her sleep.

* * *

Hey everyone. Time for author's rambling. I know this update took very long and I'm sorry for that. Life, I'm sure you know this annoying guy. Anyway, I wanted to make up for it somehow. At first you were supposed to be left without a clue to David's behaviour (I know, I'm very cruel and love writing cliffhangers), but due to my delay I added the last parts of the chapter so that you'd know what was going on in his head and how it all ended up. And I'm sorry if I messed anything up about the marine basic training (if you know anything about it). We don't have marines so my knowledge were limited to whatever I managed to google, and it wasn't much, so I added a little bit from soldier's basic training. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter at least a little bit. And as always thank you all for reading. And thank you so much for all your reviews and opinions and ideas. I welcome and appreciate it all. So see you next time, guys :)


	16. Let's hear it out

Disclaimer: I don't own ME, nor I ever will. A pity.

* * *

"We should argue more often," May chimed silently, her hand absentmindedly caressing David's arm wrapped around her body. Watching the ceiling above them, she was smiling softly, enjoying the moment while it lasted, contented.

"Why?" he whispered into her ear and she could tell he was smiling. "Because of the make-up sex?"

She bit her lower lip and shrugged, smiling even more. "Well, they say it's the best one and they are right."

He chuckled and kissed her hair. He lingered a second and Maya knew he was inhaling the scent of her hair. He did that a lot. "Well, the idea is tempting, but I don't want to hurt you again the way I did. I wasn't myself and I shouldn't have…"

"You've already apologized," she cut him off, turning in his arms to look at him. He appeared to be a little sad, avoiding her eyes for some reason. She wrinkled her forehead and cupped his cheek, making him finally meet her gaze. "I'm not angry. We all have our…moments," she finished after a short pause of hesitation, nor sure if the word she was about to say was the right one. "But it was just an argument. I know it must have bothered you very much, because by the way you were so remorseful in the message, one would say you've done something far worse, but it's okay now," she said, trying to sound both gentle and firm at the same time.

David resisted the desire to look away from her at a certain point of her speech, though it was unexpectedly difficult. Maybe because the night hadn't been the last night he saw Taylor. Despite himself he smiled at her and her face lit up immediately too. "I love you," he whispered, tangling his fingers in her hair.

And she was silent. Like always. She smiled again, moved to kiss him, but didn't say anything. She had never said anything before, so he actually didn't expect her to say it now. He'd always wondered about it. The first time he told her he loved her, she just stared at him and looked a little bit baffled and shocked. He hadn't forced to respond right away and probably that day she'd started her silent habit of not responding at all.

When she was about to pull away, he quickly placed his hand on the back of her neck to keep her close for another kiss. "By the way, I don't think it's a good idea. Your brother promised to break every bone in my body if I ever hurt you again."

She blinked and sat up, shooting him a questioning look. "What? John?"

"Do you have any other brother?" David asked, amused by her confused expression.

"No, I don't. When did it happen?"

"Well, on the spaceport, when you arrived. While we were waiting for you, remember? We were alone for a moment, just a few seconds as you ran off to buy something to drink."

She laughed at that, covering her chest as David's eyes wandered off her face. "Oh, just ignore him. He's just being overprotective as a big brother, you know? He wouldn't do anything to you. It could have serious consequences for his career and despite everything, John loves his job," she said, smiling as she imagined the scene. "But you're probably right," she purred as she curled in his arms again, kissing his neck gingerly. "That thing really threw me off and it shouldn't have. As a biotic I can be dangerous if I don't know what I'm doing so I need to learn to control my emotions. Like John, or Kaidan," she voiced her thoughts out loud. That she'd said something she shouldn't have she realized after she felt David's muscles tense. "David?"

"Who's Kaidan?" he asked silently. "Was he there on Thessia with you? Some other biotic?" He tried to sound casual.

"Well, no. He's John's friend. They met many years ago on Gagarin station," she explained, freeing herself from his arms again to sit up and look at him.

"And how did you two meet?"

She scowled mildly. "John sent him to check on me when he was off-worlds once. It was shortly after Mindoir and he didn't want me to be all alone here." When she finished the sentence, she was smiling again, softly, at the memory.

_"Do you mean it?" Maya asked breathlessly. "Is it safe? Are you going to be alright?" she kept on asking, each question more important than the last. Only barely she was aware they were alone now when Katherine had disappeared in John's bedroom._

_ "May, calm down," he tried to reassure her. His hand twitched slightly, his eyes dropped. Then he took a breath as if preparing for something terrible, and reached out, placing his hand on top of hers folded in her lap. "You're right to question it, but trust me. It'll be alright."_

_ She looked like she was about to start crying, helpless, scared and John suddenly regretted telling her. She'd looked happy…she really had looked happy. "But I'm more concerned about you. I don't want you to be here like that."_

_ "John…"_

_ "I asked my friend to keep an eye to you while I'm gone. Don't give me that look," he responded when she glared at him. "I just want to be sure you're okay here."_

_ "I'm not six anymore, John."_

_ "But you're hurt. I want someone to be here for you should you need anything and Kaidan will help you."_

_ "John…"_

_ "I trust him," he cut her off again. "You can, too."_

"So you're close?" David's voice brought her back to reality. "Is that why you're smiling? Was this the friend of yours that invited you over?"

Now she shot him a murderous look. "Not that again," she growled and before he could say anything or catch her anyhow, she got out of the bed, heading to collect her clothes from the floor.

David winced, cursing himself inwardly. "May, stop it," he said, but she didn't listen, putting her underwear on stubbornly. And angrily. "I apologize. Stop it and come back to bed. I'm sorry."

This time, after fastening her bra, she obeyed. She looked at him, her arms folded over her chest. "Why are you like this?" she asked. "Have I ever done anything to make you so incredibly jealous? You didn't use to be like that. What has changed?" The anger gone from her eyes. "Aren't you…happy with me? Are you fed up with me? Is it my job?"

David turned his eyes away for a second after the last question. "No, your job is fine. But…I don't know…when I'm not with you, the fact I don't know what's happening and how people treat you…it's just…"

"Wait…" she let out a long breath as it dawned on her. "This is about Keith, isn't it?" she asked and touched her forehead. "Damn…I should have known…the message!" She let out a mirthless laugh. "Alright…" she said and moved towards the bad, crawling on it back to him, but when he reached out to touch her bare shoulder, she slapped his hand away. "Listen. Keith is my commanding officer. I don't care about him in any way, but I can't stop him when he feels like flirting with me. He knows what I think about it and I must say he's almost stopped doing it altogether. But…well being out there is very stressful and this innocent coquetry is just a way to easy the atmosphere, but no one actually means it. So I ignore it, pretend I don't hear it."

"May, you really don't…"

"Let me," she raised her voice slightly to silence him. "Kaidan is my friend. I can't say we are close, because we practically don't know each other, but we did meet at the spaceport. However, it was his father that invited me over. And his father is also the captain of the ship I serve on. And when we were there, Kaidan's mother offered me to sleep over there, because it was too late for me to travel anywhere and she could see I was tired from the long voyage. And I must say I enjoyed the evening. I almost forgot what it was like to have a family and this was…nice. I'm sorry if it angered you, but it was completely innocent, David. You have no reason to be jealous."

He was silent, watching her large, green eyes and felt terribly. He should be the one making amends, explaining, asking for forgiveness. He was cheating on her and he knew once she'd leave for whatever dangerous place she is supposed to leave again he'd keep on with it. But here he was, accusing her of the same thing. And maybe the very reason he was unfaithful was why his fear she'd be, too, had strengthen. He knew how easy it was to slip, and how easier it was to go on down the slope. And the more down he was, the steeper the slope seemed. But he didn't want to lose her.

Ever so slowly, giving her enough time to pull away again, he reached out and put a strand of her red hair behind her ear. His fingers traced the tattoo behind it tenderly, sliding down to touch her neck. "Thank you."

She blinked at first, and then smiled broadly.

...

"No. Nothing. It should work like a charm," May shook her head, running her fingers through her hair as she stared at her omnitool's holographic screen.

"I'm telling you," Peter sighed, rubbing his face, "it doesn't."

"I second that," Chief Engineer Samuelson nodded, frowning while watching May's omnitool as well. "There's nothing wrong with this Mako," he said, gesturing towards the engine.

"Targeting system doesn't work," Peter repeated for like a hundred time now, growing impatient with every moment, May could tell. "Why to have an armoured and armed vehicle, when the armed part doesn't work?"

"According to my omnitool, it does," Maya insisted, pointing to the data displayed on the tiny screen.

Peter sighed again and this time hid his face in both of his hands, sighing again just to make the point. May couldn't help, but smile. She simply liked him, his dishevelled brown hair and dark eyes, the few-days-old stubble on his face, the way he talked…he reminded her of someone she had refused to forget. Jereth. "We just can't use this baby when it can't hit a target."

"Isn't this a problem between the wheel and the seat, rather than the Mako's fault?" Samuelson asked pointedly.

Maya laughed soundlessly, hiding her grin behind her hand as Peter shot the Chief Engineer a murderous look. "I'm a driver. I don't shoot from that thing, if you imply…"

"I don't imply anything…the scan does. It says the Mako's fine."

"And I say it is not. If you only could actually try it, you would say it too."

"Yes," Samuelson rolled his eyes, throwing his hands in the air as much as the space allowed him without actually hitting anyone or anything inside the vehicle, "let's try it out. I bet when the rescue party comes they would find it incredibly hilarious that we shot ourselves down. This thing could tear quite a large hole in the hulk, you know?"

"Uhm…guys?" Another voice chimed in. The three heads inside the confined space of the Mako's interior turned towards the narrow entrance. A head of another crewmember was peeking inside. Keith frowned as all three pairs of eyes focused on him. "First, no shooting in the Hawking's hangar. Second…I really hate to to interrupt your date with our dearest APC*, but I'm afraid I need to steal you the technician. Shepard? Follow me," he practically barked out the order before he cleared the exit, letting the dim light from outside come in the Mako once again.

"Promise not to kill each other while I'm gone," May said and carefully moved from the seat towards the exit. She squeezed through the narrow entrance and finally, after so long of being in that cramped space, she straightened, her muscles approving of the motion as she stretched like a cat. "'Kay, sir, what do you need?" she asked.

Keith didn't answer, just moved his way towards the elevator leading from the ship's hangar. He was chewing all the way, frowning when May fell in line with him. "Keith, what is it?" she asked when the elevator door shut closed behind them and the cabin started its way to the second deck.

"Dunno. Captain wants to speak to you," he answered with a shrug.

May hummed in response, taking a deep breath as if bracing herself already. "Alright, let's talk to the Captain. Was he mad?"

"At the baby of our big, loving family? You must be joking."

"I've been here for a year, Keith. I'm not green anymore."

"I'm not saying you are. But you're still the crew's freshmen and everyone likes you."

She gave him a lopsided smile. "That's because I never frown at them like you…sir," she added and shot the lieutenant a charming smile.

Sticking his hands into his pockets, Keith decided to ignore the last thing she said, looking away from her and rolling his eyes.

The elevator stopped and the door opened slowly. The couple left the small cabin wordlessly, crossed the empty mess hall and continued past the crew's sleeping pods. May looked at each of them when they walked by them, cherishing she and the rest of the ground team were given an actual quarters with bunks. She's slept only once in a pod like that, and that was…a long ago. She couldn't remember ever getting there, but she had woken up in it and so she always assumed John had carried her to it.

A soft smile played on her lips as they finally approached the door to captain's quarters. Keith sent her a questioning look when he stopped to check on her and she simply shook her head, pointing towards the door. Keith opened it and walked inside. "Captain, Lieutenant Keith," he introduced himself the usual way, saluting his CO. "I've brought Shepard, like you ordered."

"Thank you, Keith," the old man said and stood up from behind his door. "Excuse us, now," he added and Keith nodded, disappearing quickly, stopping only to briefly exchange a glance with May.

"Sith down," the Captain said, gesturing towards the seat in front of his table, stopping her just as her right hand was half-way up to her forehead. She simply closed the mouth as she'd been about to introduce herself just like Keith, and moved to the seat hesitantly, her Captain following her every motion, sitting down only after she was comfortably seated as well.

"I've decided to reassign you," he started, taking a pause. May remained silent, thought she felt incredibly confused. Why would he want to reassign her? Was he dissatisfied with her performance so far? Or had he found out during the month of her absence that the team could get by without her? Unwittingly, she straightened her back and knitted her eyebrows together while waiting for her commander to continue.

In stead of saying anything more, he simply pushed a datapad towards her, bidding her to read it wordlessly. She dropped her eyes to it and soon dropped her jaw as well. "A-Arcturus, sir?" she stuttered out, not really believing her eyes. Her fingers enclosed around the device, bringing it closer to her face to peruse it again to make sure. Frederic simply watched her eyes moving from side to side quickly as they scanned the lines. "The Academy?" she whispered. "But…"

"You deserve it. You're a fine marine and you have a talent. But it's still raw. You can be much more and this is exactly what could shape you. Don't tell me you haven't been thinking about it."

"No, I…" May took a breath, her eyes still on the datapad in her now shaking hands. "I haven't. I didn't think…I don't know what to say, sir…thank you," she mumbled eventually, finally looking at him again.

He was smiling at the way she seemed to be completely at a loss. "Don't thank me. Your teammates respect you and follow your advices when you have them… and you have a talent to make people…do things," he took another pause and Maya waited. She sensed a story behind this, especially because of the way it was said – like it was simply more than just an ordinary praise – but kept her silence. If he wanted to tell her, he would. "I don't know what you told him," he started saying indeed. "Though Tasha was sure she'd never seen him listen to anyone with such intensity before. Whatever you said to him, it worked. He finally decided to move on, to get over what he's done and live on. I'm still not sure the Alliance is the right thing for him, but I support him anyway."

Maya hesitated for a moment and her heart slowly sunk when she realized something. This wasn't for her, not really. The Arcturus station had Kaidan's signature all over. "You're talking about Kaidan. Has he joined the Alliance? "

He nodded slowly. "May I ask you what it was? What has managed to…change him?"

She looked away. "I'm not sure I can talk about it, sir," she said evasively, her fingers slowly caressing the datapad in her hand. The excitement was gone and the device meant nothing to her now.

"Does it have anything to do with the part of your personal records that is classified? Even for me?" he reflected, giving her a searching look.

"Yes, sir. Kaidan…was dragged into that mess as well. At least for some part of it. So I told him the other part he hadn't known to show him…something. I'm glad he listened. For his sake." A ghost of a smile appeared on her face as she looked away from her CO again, thinking. He'd listened. To her. For some reason she, of all people, was the one he heeded. He was a friend and she helped him. Selflessly. She didn't expect anything from him, she actually didn't expect him to do anything. Suddenly, she found herself staring at the datapad again. She laid it on the table and pushed it across the table towards the captain. "But you don't have to do this. I'm glad I helped him, but this is not necessary, sir," she said, all traces of the dreamy smile had vanished.

He quickly leaned forward and covered her hand and the datapad with his own, stopping her. "I'm not doing this out of gratitude, Maya. I'm doing this, because I know you'd make a great officer," he insisted, gently pushing back to her. "You have a way with people, like I've said," he added and stood up. "Anyway, if you're all that dissatisfied with the way I put it, take that," he paused for a second, patting her hand, "as an order. Dismissed."

...

"So…you say it's over?" Tobias asked silently as if afraid he could hurt her by finally saying out loud what they were getting to all this time. He frowned when she looked away from him, taking a deep breath while frowning at the small orb behind the thick window. Mindoir was slowly getting bigger and bigger as they progressed from the relay, but it still wasn't larger than a grapefruit.

She let out the breath again, biting her lips nervously. Her forehead wrinkled, her expression grim. "I…don't know," she said in a weak voice, closing her eyes just as she spoke those words. "I…sometimes I feel like he's…suffocating me. I know he doesn't mean it. He doesn't even know I feel that way. I just need to talk with him about everything, but not now. At the moment I need to focus on the training."

"Talk?" Tobias asked. "You really think this will help? How many times have you _talked _already? And think about it. You had a few days off, and instead of spending them with him…well…here we are," he nodded and his eyes traced her reflection in the window. It was paler then her real self, but the most surprising was her hair. It was even darker in the reflection, appearing to be almost black, even though it was just dark red now. It was just several hours since she'd taken the pill and it darkened so quickly Tobias could swear he saw it change colour right in front of his own eyes.

"I just don't know what to do," she whispered, looking down at the floor under her feet. "I don't know what I've done wrong!" she exclaimed suddenly, throwing her hands in the air. Then she folded them, hugging herself. "He's just became so paranoid, so jealous. I can't even talk to anyone without him thinking I had something with them anymore…" Her tone was rather bitter. "Or maybe I do know what I've done wrong," she added in a whisper again, taking another deep breath.

"Do tell me," Tobias urged her to go on, joining her side. His eyes turned outside to the ever growing planet as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him, just like she always did.

"I've never told him I loved him. Never. He has, countless times, but I could never bring myself to say it," she admitted, her voice hollow.

"It would be a lie," he said out loud what she was thinking. And it wasn't a question. He knew. Of course he knew. She'd written him about Kaidan during the basic training.

"Yeah." Short, curt, yet full of sadness.

He expected the answer, and nodded. "So…who is the lucky one? Kaidan?"

She didn't say anything, but the way one of the corners of her lips perked up a little was eloquent enough. Turning her away from window, he squeezed her shoulders slightly. "Tell me what he's done to win you that way. You said you didn't know him so much and yet…though I do remember your infatuation back on Mindoir."

She laughed, the sound sweet music to Tobias' ears. Even though May still had a certain charm as rueful and gloomy as she was now, Tobias simply liked her way more when she was smiling. "That infatuation, as you put it, saved my life, Tobi. Who knows what could have happened if I hadn't stopped to talk to Sean that fateful day."

"To flirt with him, you wanted to say," he smirked.

She chuckled again and shook her head, following his lead from the observatory to the common deck. "I just love the way you can cheer me up every time I feel miserable."

"And I just love the way you can avoid my questions when I feel like asking," he pointed out.

She smiled again and Tobias could tell there was something going on in her head. At one moment her smile broadened and she bit down on her lower lip gently, letting it slowly slip from between her teeth. Then she laughed shortly and shook her head as if she just realized something. She looked him in the eyes then, the two emeralds shining as she took a breath to speak: "He brought me apples."

...

They were seriously quiet when the ship finally landed in an unknown spaceport, and taken aback by the number of guards and their equipment. May had even spotted several AA towers positioned around the whole colony, something she'd never dreamed of seeing in such relatively unimportant area. Seemed like the Alliance really stood up to its promises to secure its colonists.

"Not our Mindoir," she whispered when they left the spaceport gates and the colony stretched out in front of them. Nothing looked like the Mindoir they remembered. Living containers were different, larger and more modern, they were positioned differently. Steel boards were paving the main path under their feet, their shoes clinking with every step they took. There seemed to be more people and more importantly – although it was their home, May couldn't help but feel like she didn't belong there any longer, this feeling multiplied by the unknown faces turning towards them.

"They can tell we're not from here," she mumbled to Tobias, leaning closer to him. That was stupid. She and Tobias _were_ from here. It was _them_ who were strangers, foreigners, who weren't supposed to be here. CJ should have greeted them when they walked off the shuttle. There should have been just a ground, no steel or anything. There shouldn't be any towers around the colony, lining it like it was a prison, even though May was very well aware the towers were here to keep people _out_ and not in.

"Just like we would have. Come," he bid her, taking her trembling hand into his, leading her deeper into the colony.

It seemed incredible. Everything old was gone, everything had been replaced and renewed. May suddenly felt incredibly miserable, walking along the streets, watching kids playing, chasing after each other and laughing, blissfully oblivious to horrors that had occurred here. But the Alliance didn't forget and the large monument in the colony's centre was the proof. It was a simple marble slab with almost three hundred names written on it, a silent reminder of the tragedy.

May felt the strong wave of emotions trying to flood her, to bring her to her knees threatening to buckle any second, but she managed to keep her face straight when she made her way towards it, now ignoring everyone and everything around her. She reached into her pocket as she approached the monument and pulled two devices from it. A storage disk and a small rounded holoprojector. She turned the latter on, a single burning candle appeared above it. She crouched, positioning it on the ground just under the last column of names. She slipped the small disk underneath, hiding it completely, and then quickly straightened. Her eyes were fixed somewhere nearly at the end of the list, reading over and over the two most important names. She was only barely aware of Tobias next to her, lighting another candle, as she slowly reached out and her trembling fingers touched the cool memorial, tracing the letter with her fingertips. Mouthing the names, she closed her eyes and her arm fell to her hip again. "It's not fair," she choked up, turning her head to Tobias.

"When has life ever been fair, May?"

She shrugged and closed her eyes again, desperately fighting the tears threatening to brim over. "Thanks for coming with me," she mumbled eventually, putting a strand of her hair behind her ear. She couldn't feel them under her fingers, but she touched the two letters tattooed under her skin. _I will remember…always remember._

Tobias noticed the gesture and conjured a smile on his face, despite himself. "And soon N7 is going to be there as well."

She gave a hollow laugh at that. "I'll be lucky to make it to N1, Tobias. Graduating at the top of my class isn't a free ticket to N7."

"No, but it got you the invitation, right?" he asked and then his face turned sombre. "They would have been so proud of you, you know?"

"Or disappointed. My father wanted me to go on with the family business when John…you know," she sighed, combing her hair. Her black hair. Tobias frowned. He didn't like she dyed her hair only for the stupid training. Saying something about camouflage. Weren't they supposed to wear helmets? Not that it wasn't becoming, but he simply liked his fiery May much more.

"What's on that storage disk?" he asked, pointing at the device under the holoprojector.

"Messages," she answered after a short while of hesitation. "For four years I've been writing what I would have told my parents if they had been still alive. I copied them on the disk so that…I don't know…it felt like the right thing, to bring them here."

"So that everyone could read them too?"

"They don't know us," she shrugged and sighed. "They don't know you, my parents, me…and they will never know." Now, she frowned. "There's no way another memorial could stand next to this one, praising Maya Shepard for saving some colony, or galaxy or…whatever," she waved her hand.

"Excuse me?" a soft voice sounded behind them.

...

_"Next few hours are crucial for you. They will determine whether we will see you again or not. I know you're exhausted. I know you might be hungry and fed up and angry and I don't care. Your groups…stay. Equipment – your own. That's all I'm going to say for now. As you depart, each for your own shuttle, you'll get further information sent to your omnitools. Follow the instructions and…be the best. Good luck."_

Land navigation was never May's strong side, but she found herself progressing through the thick jungle effortlessly. Following the dim light of her drone, she slowly closed in on the rendezvous point, an assault rifle in her hands. She still didn't know what the task was supposed to be, so she apparently hadn't been chosen by instructors to lead the squad, but that didn't bother her in the slightest. Now she focused on the dark blue orb in front of her. Whenever her pace slowed down, the drone obediently waited on its owner before setting off towards the grid the owner had set, his layers whirling around his electronic body in unison with the pace.

May's legs were burning with every step, all her muscles painfully protesting with every move, expressing their gratitude for the long abuse during the training. She could feel sweat running down her face and neck when the drone stopped again. But this time when she caught up with it, it didn't move. They were on the spot.

"No hostiles detected."

"Good work, D2," she mumbled and despawned the drone with slow, tired movement, lightening the darkening jungle with artificial orange light of the omnitool's holographic interface.

"Figured you'd let it guide you here," a familiar voice chimed in. A figure silently jumped down from a large branch almost exactly above May.

"Are you the first one to arrive, Chris?" she asked, collapsing her weapon she'd aimed at him at first before she'd recognized him.

Thanks to the darkness she could see only his silhouette shake his head. "I've sent Nat to survey the area," he informed her in hushed voice as if suddenly afraid someone might overhear them. Then he bent his head and the pair was soon lighted by the orange light again. "This is our frequency," he explained. "For the comm."

"Got it," she nodded, her eyes on her omnitool. "I take it you're our leader then?" she asked, shifting her weight from one leg to another constantly, as she'd almost lost the ability to keep still the way her feet hurt. _What a marine I am_…

He shrugged. "I've been leading for ten years now…" His voice now sounded much louder thanks to the comm in her helmet.

"And you're good at it. Apparently, in the villa they've noticed too," she reflected. "So what's our next step?"

"Waiting for the rest of our team. Then I'll explain. Eh…" he paused, hesitating. "Maybe you should gather some strength in the meantime. I haven't seen a single blue spark from you all those weeks, but I'm sure we'll be using your biotics now. And I've served with you long enough to know what it does to you when you're fatigued."

"I'm not fatigued," she complained, but then she remembered her sore feet and the fact she'd been marching all day with just a few stops to refresh herself, not to mention those lovely weeks of constant training, marching, running, drilling, with little sleep and in comparison what she was used to too little food. And suddenly she felt incredibly tired again.

As if knowing what she was thinking about, Keith laughed. "Maya, take this as an advantage. If I hadn't been invited, someone else would have been in my stead, someone who wouldn't be as lenient as me. Use my weakness."

She sighed, shrugging as she made her way towards the nearest tree trunk and sat down at its roots. Lying on the back she lifted her feet up and rested her heels against the tree, barely suppressing a sigh of relief. "Wake me up in thirty minutes. You need to catch your breath too," she instructed him as she closed her eyes. And opened them in what felt like a second. The rest of the team was all gathered and someone was leaning above her. She quietly groaned and rolled on her stomach to stand up. She couldn't exactly see who it was who had woken her up, but according to the large, well-built figure it had to be Diego. Wordlessly they joined the rest of the party and a briefing of the six membered team could begin.

Diego, Maya and Chris were in the middle of a triangle made by Nathaniel, Susanne and Leto, each kneeling on the ground, weapons ready and covering their hundred and twenty degrees.

"Our task is rather simple," Keith started when the pair finally joined them, Maya still rubbing sleep from her eyes. She felt even worse then before, but knew the feeling would wear off soon. Though the stiffness in her neck would be more difficult to get rid off. "We're to get inside a heavily guarded base, get a hold of it, send out all-clear signal to the villa and keep the base until reinforcements – instructors from the villa - arrive. We've been given intel about a large number of droids patrolling the perimeter, but that shouldn't be problem for us. Shepard, Sunnery, they are yours. You two will be at our head," he instructed, his head turned towards May. She nodded and at the time the comm crackled before transmitted Nat's silent: "understood." It wasn't a surprise for either of them to be paired up again. They'd been watching each other's back for the whole training. And May was glad. She'd gotten used to the guy. He was kind, though not very talkative, and was a really good and quick shooter. The two of them learned to combine his skills of a swift, merciless assault with May's technician's attacks and her own shooting into a deadly cooperation.

"Have we been given the schematics?" Leto's voice sounded in May's helmet next.

"No, we haven't. Shepard, go change Nat on the watch," he pointed towards a figure almost disappearing in the dark. May instinctively crouched and moved next to Nat. As she was on the place, her rifle ready, he moved back to their leader. May could see a mix of blue and orange light coming from behind her as Nat activated his omnitool. "I've managed to scout the area. This is the scan of the base. I've noticed four entrances. Here…here…and here. These are properly guarded and therefore unacceptable for our small number," he went on, his voice hushed even in May's helmet's communicator. "Another door's here. Every thirty minutes it opens to let in or out a patrol and that would be the best way in. Timing will be crucial. The door takes some time to open and close again, so once the patrol clears out one of us could slip inside unnoticed and open it for the rest of us. If things go smoothly. Once we're inside, though…it's hard to tell what awaits there. We're going in blind."

"Anyway, when we are inside," Keith took word again, "our goal is to find the main hub and hack the droids to deactivate them. Once it's done, the base is stripped of its defences."

"You said we should not only capture the base, but also guard it. How are we to hold the entire thing in just six men, Keith?" Susanne chimed in, sounding tired.

"Don't worry, I've figured that one out. It's where our tech comes in. After we deactivate the droids, we need to reprogram their friend-and-foe system to recognize us as one of them and help us. You think you can pull that off, Shepard?"

"Piece of cake," May mumbled and once again she could feel the oh-so-familiar nervousness starting to grip her stomach. Even knowing their weapons aren't meant for live fire, they were using only the laser targeting as always, each hit was recorded and sent to the villa. And if you got hit really bad it would mean a goodbye to ever reaching even N1 ranking. And with them so close, at their last test, she was determined not to let that happen.

"Sounds almost too easy," she heard Diego's deep growl of a voice.

"It won't be easy. Remember where we are. Anyway," Keith cleared his throat, "Diego and Leto, you two will be at our six. Susanne, you'll be with me. We'll set off at the first light, since we're not equipped for fighting in the dark. The watch's order is the same, starting with Leto. Well, if you don't have any questions, you know what to do, guys."

...

Just as the darkness slowly started giving way to daylight, the group slowly set off from their improvised camp, obliterating all traces of them spending night there. Maya and Natanial were leading the group, slowly creeping through thick jungle cover. Nat was coming up first with Maya following behind him, keeping approximately eight meters distance between them. When she first caught glimpse of the base, she could almost feel adrenaline flooding her bloodstream, sharpening her senses in a way only this kind of action could. Within seconds she was prepared for whatever lay ahead. Well…except for what really did lie ahead.

She couldn't see Natanial's confused expression, nor hear his almost non-existent sigh as he stopped and crouched. She only saw him tense and lift his arm, bending it in an elbow to signalize to stop. May mimicked his gesture, sending it farther behind her, crouching too, but never bothering to raise her rifle. "What the…" she mumbled when she noticed it too.

"Nat?" the com crackled. "Nat, what's wrong? Why are we stopping?"

Maya and Natanial exchanged quick look and Nat touched his omnitool with the barrel of his rifle. May nodded, understanding, and turned the device on, quickly summoning the well-known blue orb. Drone's layers briskly whirled around its bright body as she commanded it to scan the area.

"What?! Damn, Shepard, put that thing off. The light will give away our position!" Keith growled immediately.

"No hostiles detected," the drone finally stated, patiently floating in the air before Maya, waiting for further orders.

Nat's face darkened when he exchanged a deep frown with his battle, bringing two of his fingers to the side of his helmet. "I don't think there's anyone to actually spot us, Keith. The base is completely abandoned."

...

The silence was a pleasant change. Usually Slave was used to hearing the loud growl and hum of the ship's engines constantly, following her every step and motion, disturbing her sleep whenever her nightmares didn't manage it, stealing the precious hours of peace from her. Or maybe it was the fear of the humming that kept waking her up, since the sound was what had brought this all. But up here it was different. And for it to last, she only needed to remember her place, so that she wouldn't end up like the previous one.

Keeping here eyes to the floor, she tensed when the door leading to the private quarters she was in suddenly opened, a person walking inside. She bit down on her tongue, trying to be invisible, yet to pay attention if she was needed. The tall person sighed as the door closed again and threw himself into the comfortable chair. "Why don't I have anything to drink, yet?" he asked in his alien voice, but the translator Slave wore quickly made the senseless gibberish into words. She sprung from her place, heading towards bar. She willed her hands to stop shaking as she poured his favourite liqueur, but failed. He didn't notice, fortunately, with his attention focused on the long-ranged communicator. Another person appeared in the room, but Slave didn't have courage to look at whoever it was. She set the bottle next to the glass and quickly retreated into protective arms of shadows at the corners of the room.

"Ah…" the other person let out a breath signalizing surprise. "I was wondering when you'd call."

"Yes, of course," Slave's master answered in low, slow voice. "I've been thinking about your proposal and decided to help you out. After all, the last time I entrusted my men into your hands paid off."

"Excellent…"

"Only now, I will demand more. This is no backwater planet you're craving. I want exactly fifty percent of whatever you'll bring back."

There was a short silence; the other person was probably contemplating the offer. "It might work," he said eventually. "It is a distinct pleasure to work with you again."

"I'm glad to hear it. They have been spreading like a plague in our regions for far too long. It's high time to send them a message."

"I couldn't agree more." Another pause. "If you were interested, I could fill you in our plans. We've already spent some time scouting the area. And all the puzzles slowly start to fit together. Before they know it…we will strike."

"Slave," master said in loud, harsh voice. "Get out of here," he spat and Slave quickly jumped to her feet, hurrying to the door. Before it closed behind her, however, she managed to hear: "So let's hear it out, Balak."

* * *

* for those who don't know the acronym, APC is armoured personnel carrier

To be continued. Thanks for reading, everyone, and thank you all who invested a little of your time to write a review to let me know what you think about the story. I appreciate it. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. See you later :)

Edit: Okay, I admit, I don't get it. I put those lines there, to divide the story from disclaimer and my rambling, but the lines keep on disappearing even though they still are there...does anybody how to fix this? I keep fighting with those lines for the whole time of this story, but I'm losing it pretty badly :)


	17. You're in charge

Disclaimer: I don't own ME

* * *

Slave felt her hands were trembling when she leaned against the wall behind thick, heavy door that had just slid shut behind her. She let out a short, ragged breath and allowed her knees to buckle, her back sliding down the wall until she was sitting on the cool floor. They were doing it again. They were about to do it again. They wanted to destroy other lives, to shatter world of many people, to…to…to…

She felt as if someone punched her in the stomach and she fought and willed her scarce breakfast to stay where it was. As the wave of nausea washed over her, her eyes begun to water and she closed them tightly, shaking her head to get rid of the image. Fire, blazing high into the sky, screams and fear stabbing her. Two pairs of eyes. And engine of a ship roaring above her…his hand, limp and dead in hers as they tore them apart…

She thought she had forgotten to feel pain, she'd gone numb by the time here, but now it was all resurfacing again, crushing her with a renewed strength. She felt like a little child. She had felt like it that day, too. Helpless, lost… She only dreaded to think about her. She was dead. Dead as dead can be, never coming back. And Slave had never had the chance to say goodbye. All she had left was a stupid message.

...

"What?" Keith's voice sounded confused when he replied after a while of silenced. "Are you sure?"

May laughed shortly, though it lacked any kind of mirth. "Just come to see it. Gates are open, no one's here…do you think the other teams had the same task and were quicker?" she suddenly asked, the thought popping up in her mind out of blue.

"Don't think so," Nat answered her, while Keith took a pause. "No signs of battle, besides, we'd have heard the firing at night. Our camp wasn't that far," he pointed out, watching the base through slightly narrowed eyes, trying to spot anything that would give away what the hell had happned.

Keith suddenly appeared by May's side, continuing forward. He crouched next to Natanial, watching their target. "Damn…" he muttered under his breath, but his voice was quite clear thanks to the comm he still had on. "Nat," he said quietly, touching the marine on his shoulder. "Take Shepard's drone and go down to check it. We'll wait here."

"Keith?" Diego's deep voice growled in Maya's helmet. "Shouldn't we all go? What if this is a trap? He might need us."

May saw Keith and Nat exchange a quick glance, but neither said anything. "I could go," she said finally. Keith turned to look at her, too. "I have means to protect myself as you know," she reminded him. "Plus, as intelligent as the drone is, I am the one giving it commands. If I sent it with Nat, I couldn't do it."

All looks were now trained on Keith again, as he silently contemplated the situation. His teammates had ideas, but the final call was his. He was the one who'd determine their lives – hypothetically speaking, no one was going to actually die here – and the responsibility was heavily weighting on his shoulders. Not that he wasn't used to it. Finally, he took a breath to speak. "Shepard, you're in charge now," he started and Maya's eyes widened. This only had to mean one thing: "I'm going in."

"Keith, are you sure…" Susanne started, but he silenced her with a hiss. "I'm not going to risk anything. I'll scout the area around the base, you'll cover me from here. Radio me if you spot anything. If you are attacked, post me and retreat to the camp and regroup. If I'm ambushed…try to kill them before they finish me off," he added with a hint of a smile in his voice.

...

Maya watched Keith's back as he stepped out of the thick forest into the open, heading towards the base. She frowned deeply, an unpleasant feeling gnawing at her insides just as she was biting down her tongue to keep silent. The past four years of service – as short time as someone would call it – had taught her to trust her own guts. And right now the message was clear; Keith was about to knock at the Death's door…figuratively speaking, of course.

_He knows what he's doing…Keith always makes the right choices,_ she tried to convince herself, but with every step he took, she was failing more and more. She dared to take a sideway look at – now –_her _team. Their expressions were just as dark as her mood. They knew it, too. All that was missing was a large "trap this way" written somewhere on the base.

When she glanced back to the base, Chris suddenly stopped, staring inside the dark corridor opened in front of him. Maya wondered for a moment, since it didn't look like a main gate, if this was the pathway Nat had intended to use to get them inside, and had been taking them to it. The thoughts, however, quickly vanished when Chris took another step…towards it. As if he'd heard or spotted something inside, or simply the curiosity had gotten the better of him. She bit her tongue one final time and then relented, bringing two fingers to the side of her helmet. "Chris?" she called. No answer. His pace was quickened now, fifty meters from the base, give or take.

"Chris, do you read me?" she repeated, more loudly this time and narrowed her eyes at his tiny figure. He didn't stop, flinch or turn around. He made no acknowledgement of her voice.

"This is bad…he can't hear us…" she could hear Nat murmuring next to her.

"Something from the base must be blocking the signal. He's gotten too close to it."

_Corrected – he was right at it,_ Maya thought angrily as she took a breath to speak again. "Fuck, Chris, what are you doing?" May growled, putting one hand on the wet ground where she'd been lying, half-obscured from anyone near the base and ready to shot whatever would have tried to attack Keith, pushing up onto her knees, standing up. She could hear the rustling and knew the rest of her team followed suit. Her firm: "That's it, we're going," was not necessary. As quickly as they could, while still trying to be stealthy, they followed Keith. Maya was highly tempted to call out for him, to stop him right before he disappeared inside the base, but she didn't want to alert anyone who might be lurking around. Even though somewhere deep she knew whatever was behind this already knew about them…that was why the droids were gone. But it was just a lull. The storm would yet return. And Chris was blindly walking right into it.

"Damn…damn…Chris," she muttered under her breath as she lost the last glimpses of his armour in the dark entrance. She tried to once again contact him, but just as before he didn't reply.

"So what now?" Diego asked. "We're going in?"

"Yeah," Shepard nodded and activated her omnitool. Just as the drone appeared she drew her breath to order it to go inside and follow Keith's heat trace, its layers started whirling madly, even more quickly then she ever remembered it, and froze at the sound of its mechanized voice: "Hostiles detected…"

For a second the silence was almost unbearable. Then a gun fire split it.

"Chris…" May gasped and they all broke into run. Their steps echoed heavily trough the dark corridor as they raced in. Just as they proceeded the lights above their heads started to illuminate the base, one at a time, with a sinister clicking sound. Why hadn't they lightened up when Chris passed through the place?

They ran down the narrow, long corridor, until they reached a fork. They stopped, breathing heavily from the exertion of the long sprint in armour and with weapons in their hands. No signs of their lost teammate.

"Christopher?" Maya breathed out, trying it for last time. "Damn…" she hissed, letting her hand fall to her hips. "I was hoping whatever was disabling the communication would only block transmission from inside out and vice versa," she voiced her thoughts, her eyes trailing between left and right. Just as the one that led them inside, they were both suspiciously empty with a single line of fluorescent lamps on its ceilings. She could see large door in the corridor to her left, thought the red light above them told her it was locked. Not that it would be much of a problem for her…and she could always send Nat to open it, too, which was probably a much better idea, she decided.

A dim blue light threw her shadow into the right corridor as the drone floated behind her. "Hostiles detected," it reminded her and she took a breath to tell it to be quiet when she heard it. An echo of boots, steel on steel, rhythmical, regular sound she knew so well from her time in a boot champ – marching of a group of people. Or…

"…droids?" someone whispered behind her.

"Scan the area. Show me the readings," she ordered and her drone looked like it suddenly bristled, its bright body rotating, its layers receding and nearing the pulsing core. It was just a split of a second, but she felt incredibly impatient, in need of information and with a bunch of droids quickly closing in on them while they were like sitting ducks. Finally her omnitool vibrated on her wrist and she dropped her eyes from the blue orb to the orange screen projected just above her forearm. Her eyes widened when she noticed the number of reds dots all around them, number that was quickly increasing. The base was all but abandoned.

The room to their left was still empty though. A possible death trap…or an easily defendable position?

Her voice cold and serious, she turned to Nat. "Open the door at our nine, now," she ordered him and got ready her weapon. The rest of her team understood and just as Nat positioned himself at the door panel, they spread around him, having his back. A chill went down May's spine at the sound of the soft whirring, just like it had ever done since the day Adam had broken into John's flat. Ever since that moment she'd tried her best to avoid lock-picking whenever it wasn't necessary.

"Done," Nat's voice whispered inside her helmet and she ushered her team inside, going in as the last one with the sound of heavy steps echoing loudly through the corridor. She closed the door and locked it, looking around.

First, she spot a camera at the ceiling of the room. _So much for hiding_. Next her eyes scanned the room's interior. They seemed to be in some kind of a small storehouse. With a handful of steel crates lined up along the back wall.

"Get behind those crates," she ordered, her voice low and firm, sounding almost all commander-like. But that wasn't right. She would never be a good commander like, say, Keith. She had lost precious time contemplating, had lead her team to a trap…twice…like in the base, blindly chasing after Chris – not that anyone had tried to stop her - and now again in this room. The bright side? They only had one direction to defend. Downsides? Well…there were too many of them she had no idea where to begin with. How many droids were coming? Did they know about them? Of course they did…the camera. Droids have the advantage of being informed from the main control room within a few seconds. Maya could bet they might have even watched it live as they hid inside. What about their equipment? Her ream could make mistake, droids calculated their every move with percentage of success. No way to retreat…and the list went on.

She joined the rest of her team, reaching over the crates with her left arm, aiming at the drone. She'd changed its setting to explosion, so that it would go off at the first round shot at it, taking as many with it while they would be safe behind the crates as it could. It shimmered slightly, the light going very dark for a moment. "Acknowledged," it responded.

Now they had to wait. Her heart racing, pumping in her ears like crazy, she could almost feel the rush of adrenaline flooding her body. It was struggling, fighting to push the fear off her mind as it overwhelmed her nerves and muscles. She no longer felt her sore feet, the exhaustion was gone, replaced by nervous anticipation, and she loved it. She knew what was at stake now, but she couldn't help, but smirk as she gripped her rifle more tightly. Then the steps stopped right behind the door.

Once again _the_ whirring made her skin crawl.

She took a slow breath, steeling herself. She used the little time she had to check on her teammates. Determined, they all nodded, one at at a time as they locked their eyes with hers. Ready, boss, as if they were saying.

The whirring stopped and the door opened. She could almost imagine the scene. A platoon of droids standing still at the door while a blue, innocent-looking sphere was floating in the air in front of them, ready to be set off at the first…

Explosion shook the room and a bright, white light illuminated it for a second. Maya could feel the crates slam in her side and shoulder she was pressing against it as the shock wave pushed it towards the wall.

The whole team of marines exited their cover as one man and sound of fire flooded the room. A second passed and May's shield rippled…two seconds were gone when May's eyes widened as her brain proceeded the information…three…she reacted. Her body moved on its own accord, whipped to this shape by training and practise, not needing May's control at all. That was why it was called "drill". It drilled its way into your brain so that your body would do what your mind was too slow to realize. She let go of the gun with her left hand and flung her arm forward, the omnitool bright around it. A flash of light blue sphere crossed the room and hit one of the remaining droids in the chest. It exploded, its electric fingers licking bodies of the closest droids, making them twitch like they had muscle cramps. Another sphere followed, quickly frying circuits of the remaining droids Maya had missed as Nat mimicked her gesture. His arm was still on the crates when the room finally fell silent again.

"What the fuck was that?!" Diego growled, checking the battery of his kinetic shields to make sure he'd seen it right. May did the same. Eighty seven percent. Laser wasn't supposed to damage the shield. It wasn't a shot or anything any kinetic barrier could stop, so it should have been the MAIL system they all had on their armours that should have measured how many hits she had left before they would "hurt" her.

"That was live fire!" Leto's voice followed, angry, breathless. "They were supposed to use the laser system, like us!"

May took a few quick breaths. Willing her shocked body to move, she jumped over the crate and approached the mess that had been left of the droid platoon.

"Something must have gone wrong."

As expected, they had no holes in their bodies. The marine's weapons didn't shoot, only emanated laser. But as much as she tried, she couldn't find the device tracking hits anywhere on the droids.

"Maybe it's part of the test?"

Maya looked at her own gun, deeply scowling.

"What part of it could be a test? The one where we suddenly discover this is life and death matter? Or the one where we shoot them with _useless _weapons?!"

May whirled around. "Shut up!" She hissed as she faced her team. "First of all, throw away the junk," she said, meaning their guns," and take theirs." She took a pause long enough to take a quick breath, hoping some of the guns still could work after they fried them with two overloads. "Second, finding Keith is secondary now. If we want to help him, we need to focus on our primary concern, which is to deactivate the droids before they kill us all. We have to find the main hub or control room. While there we need to get rid of whatever is blocking our communication to send a message to the villa, and hopefully find out what the fuck has happened here. If we run into Keith along the way…good for him. If not…" she didn't have the courage to finish the sentence.

The reply she got was a sound of four assault rifles clanking loudly as they hit the floor.

They were lucky. Just as she feared, weapons held by droids destroyed by overloads were nothing but a very expensive toys now. Luckily, the explosion her drone caused damaged rifles of first few droids, but it wasn't anything she and Nat couldn't fix on the spot.

Knowing it was too dangerous to randomly roam the base she used her omnitool to scan the camera at the corner of the room. She wasn't architect, she knew nothing of the way electricity was spread through the building, but the camera had to get the footage to the main control room somehow. If she could track whatever wires were used for it, it could take them right where they wanted to go.

"It might work," Nat nodded when she quickly explained her idea.

"We don't have any other lead, anyway," Susanne commented, shrugging.

...

Mood at the table was thick and dark, everyone could feel it. Except for curt greetings Jessica had barely uttered a single word to him and Kaidan did his best to ignore his parent's questioning looks.

It wasn't very often that his father was at home. So whenever he did, Kaidan's mom insisted on a family dinner. Usually, it was just the three of them eating together, since Jessica didn't like such family reunions, but this time she had decided to go. And Kaidan knew very well why.

He'd accepted an offer to serve on a star ship. Such a minor decision, it would seem, but the consequences ran deeper. They ran as deep as three years ago, to the almost exact place they all were at the moment.

Or maybe, Kaidan mused as he picked on his food, not really feeling hungry, it ran even deeper. Six years ago? Was it that long? It almost seemed impossible, the time had elapsed so quickly.

He'd already felt terrible because of Maya. Because he'd allowed her to be kidnapped while there was so little he could do to prevent it. Then, as if his conscious wasn't torturing him enough, he'd agreed to help John with Maya's training. And he'd lost control. He still couldn't understand what had caused the cramps. John had always performed an exhausting biotic display before they sized him, yet there she had been, limp in his arms as a rag doll, her cheeks flushed slightly, a red spot on her left shoulder.

They both had been lucky that day though. He arrived home before Jessica, so he could let those thousands of explanations, that should have delivered a satisfactory answer without actually mentioning Maya's name – alright…the fact he'd been always trying to conceal knowing her should have given him enough warning – slip his mind. And more importantly – Maya survived. When she, a few days after that, came to him for the translator, she still looked incredibly sick. Or maybe it was just Kaidan's imagination…or remorse… Either way, she stood on the threshold, face to face with Jessica…it was a small miracle she didn't remember a thing. _A very painful miracle_, Kaidan thought. Maya's exclaiming she'd forgotten the brief, yet intensive moment of intimacy between them, as wrong as it felt ever since because of it, he was hurt by it. He…liked…May.

She was as headstrong as her brother and probably twice as courageous – it took incredible will to come through both Mindoir and the Citadel incident rather intact - but she had this gentle air around her he'd missed so much. Almost like Rahna, only without being also so fragile. And yet she was that too, and vulnerable, though still trying her best to put up with her new life. The bruise she'd been wearing so proudly those few days was a proof.

And what he liked most…the way her eyes could speak.

He could vividly remember the first time he saw her. She'd put on a brave face, but her eyes told him how scared she was, and desperately alone. And her opening up to him that day only confirmed what she was telling him with every look and gaze.

However, it wasn't after the day she'd came for her translator that he spilled out his guts to Jessica, telling the truth about his anxiety. As expected, she'd been furious…no…the word hadn't even begun to describe it.

It didn't take long for him to realize what the matter was. Jessica had simply started to view Maya as her competition. She knew Kaidan didn't love her. He never had, nor he ever would. It wasn't emotional between them…at least on his part. Jessica had seemed to disagree with him, which was the only thing taking him by surprise.

They were both biotics and she knew of his past. She was attractive and neither of them had ever complained when it came to sex. Emotions weren't necessary. They both needed their heads cleaned, he thought.

A great mistake on his part. He knew the sayings, that friendship between man and woman is never friendship for one of them. Yeah…

And to add the fuel…his parents had made an acquaintance with her. And spoke very highly of her…at least his mother did. His father…well, he wasn't much around to say pretty much anything about her, but Kaidan got the feeling Maya felt like the daughter he'd never had for him. True, Maya was far more easygoing. Jessica, growing up in the brain camp, had learned to distrust people she didn't know well, especially who weren't biotics like herself, and she'd built up walls that were incredibly difficult to breach. She'd never let his parents in, keeping their relationship polite, but rather detached. Maya, on the other hand, despite what she'd been through, managed to wrap his parents around her finger with a wink of her eye. She was friendly and social, and started to call his mom "Tasha" after the first time the woman asked her to, unlike Jessica. Though she had failed to get rid of the whole "captain" thing, which Kaidan found amusing while she was joking with his father over the dinner, enjoying his family as if it was her own, once she shook off her initial embarrassment and discomfort. That one was pretty funny, too. He liked how she handled it, though. Yeah...twice as courageous as John.

Kaidan shook his head quickly to get rid of the stupid smile plastered on his face at the memory. It had been nice to see Maya so relaxed, laughing and everything, but he had to return to grim present and tensed woman sitting across from him at the table.

He quickly moved his eyes to Jessica to check whether she noticed him, but her eyes were focused on her plate only.

It was his father's look that he caught, however. His eyebrows raised slightly, his mouth set into a mocking half-smile, while his eyes darted to his son's girlfriend and back at him as if he knew what he was thinking. How long had he been watching him grin like an idiot above his half-eaten biotic-portion of chicken steak with wedges?

Kaidan shot his father a questioning look with slightly narrowed eyes, bidding him silently to speak his mind.

Frederick, encouraged by his son's expression, cleared his throat to speak. "Tasha, do you remember how I told you about my XO? The one that got the invitation?" he asked, emphasizing "the invitation" so that no one would be mistaken as to what he exactly meant, and Kaidan frowned. His Dad? Talking about work? He'd done it only once before. And since May wasn't here, Kaidan couldn't help but get the feeling he was up to something. And he already started regretting coaxing him to speak.

"Of course I remember," Kaidan's mom responded quickly, almost too quickly, as if she was glad the heavy silence was finally gone. "You were so proud of him. As you should be," she added, let go of her knife and reached across the table to pat his hand.

Kaidan noticed Jessica lifted her eyes to look at his parents, but didn't say anything.

"Well…he sent me a message few days back. While I was still on the ship," he said slowly, looking at the ceiling as if trying to recall when exactly. He waved his hand then, as if saying: "It doesn't really matter," and went on: "He was very optimistic about the training so far."

"Good for him," Kaidan said softly, still trying to figure out why his father had brought it up. Failing. Maybe there wasn't anything harmful behind it. Maybe he just chose this topic, because it was the opposite of what Kaidan was expecting – a neutral topic, that could neither worsen nor lighten up the mood. It was May's fault. _"Cunning, sly…and not so obvious scheme…"_ her words kept ringing in his ears, her rich voice repeating them over and over. He'd know his father all his life, yet it was her who managed to discover his gift for flippant manipulation. His father knew his wife…was he using her to get whatever he wanted today, just like he'd managed with her three years ago?

Suddenly, he became very curious about his father. He leaned back in the chair, straightening. Jessica caught the sudden motion, but her eyes dropped as soon as Kaidan looked at her, too.

"What else did he tell you?" she asked. "How long until he knows for sure?"

"Just the final test, though it might be what could break his neck," he admitted nonchalantly. "He was always very impulsive, and sometimes it could get the better of him and his professionalism."

Tasha smiled kindly. "Oh, have a little faith in the boy. I'm sure he'll succeed. It's good to know someone who deserves it is going to get the ranking." She took a pause just long enough to take a sip from the glass of vine in front of her. And after she started speaking again, Kaidan finally understood where his father was going. Maya had been right about him. Cunning, sly old man indeed. "I only wish Maya would get there one day, too. She had this beautiful dreamy smile on her face when she talked about it."

The look Jessica shot him was all but murderous.

"What?" he snapped. "I didn't say anything!" Alright, maybe he sounded a little harsher than he intended.

She forced a smile on her face as she stood up slowly, turning to his parents. "The dinner was exclusive, Mrs. Alenko, but I'm afraid I'm tired now. I'll head to bed. Good night…"

Kaidan covered his face with his palm as she walked away, omitting to wish her good night, unlike his parents.

"I don't understand," his mom said in weak voice. "Why was she so angry? Danny, sweetheart, is everything all right between you two? She's been weird throughout the evening." That was a blindside, pulling up his childhood nickname.

But it worked, part of the anger melted away suddenly. So when his hand fell from his face on the table, it wasn't with the force he'd intended before. He regarded his father. "Was it really necessary?" he asked, finishing his question with a sigh.

"You're wasting your time, son. And ours," he added and smiled, joining his fingers under his chin. He looked as innocent and pure as a driven snow, but Kaidan now knew better. "Do I want to know where you're going with that?" he asked, sounding tired, and pressed his fingers into his eyes.

"Kaidan," his father started saying, then took short pause for Kaidan to look at him again, "you've already started putting your life back together. Don't you think it is high time to say goodbye to the brain camp once and for all?" he gestured towards the door leading further into his house.

Kaidan was silent, not really knowing what to say.

"You're father is right, Kaidan," his mom spoke up, too, and he noticed he wasn't "Danny" anymore. She smiled then and reached to him, to take his hand into both hers. Her palms were cold, as they usually were, and so Kaidan brought his free hand to cover hers to warm them up a little. "I know you don't…have any feelings for Jessica, so stop hurting both her and yourself with prolonging something that has never been," she asked him, plea in her eyes. Suddenly, merry sparkles lit her eyes as she smiled like a little girl, in a way only she could, and added: "Why, and then you can invite May to come over more often. I would really like to see her again. Such a charming, clever, your lady. Oh, and her beautiful hair."

Kaidan leaned a little closer. "Mom. I'm twenty six. Stop. It. Now," he said kindly, patted her still cold hands and stood up, looking at his father. He was leaning against the backrest of his chair, observing his wife and son with a mild smile. It broadened when Kaidan, instead of following Jessica up the stairs, turned towards the balcony. He was going to think.

...

John was lying on his back on his bunk, wide awake while his comrades were enjoying the well-deserved rest after another day full of good hard work.

His team had this strange habit, when it came to killing the Geth. They always aimed at the bulb in their heads. Sure, the quickest way to bring one down, but the most tricky, since Geth's heads were a way smaller than human's, hence more difficult to hit. Body or a limb would have been a surer target, but they – especially Tanya who came up with it first – simply considered it fun to "turn them off". They always counted their headshots, too. John never understood this little obsession, though he didn't view it anyhow brutal. After all, the Geth were machines. They weren't alive or breathing...still, it was a strange way to kill time during killing. But he'd never told them to stop yet. Whenever the situation started getting out of hand, they simply switched back to being responsible, adult marines. And as long as their childish behaviour didn't endanger mission, he was willing to put up with it. Even marines needed to relax somehow.

But it wasn't today's frenzy that kept him up. His thoughts were at two messages his sister had sent him.

Two months ago May had informed him of successfully finishing her studies – with flying colours, no less, the best of her class – and that she'd been offered something she couldn't reject. And that she wouldn't dare to talk about it much. Whatever it was, she'd had to find out very recently, judging from her emotions. She was thrilled, excited, happy… But the fact she refused to talk about it was bothering him. What assignment could have made his Maya be silent?

Finally, two days ago she contacted him again and it did little to ease his worries. Quite the opposite. She was pale and tired, with deep dark circles under her eyes, but she was smiling for some reason. Her surroundings was dark, all he could see was her pale face and the fact she had a black cap on. He couldn't understand it, was she somewhere cold? She'd been very brief. Again, she repeated how excited she was about the job – though there was something strange about the way she said the word – and asked him to wish her luck and think about her in the upcoming days. And he certainly was thinking about her, though not because of that. Why would she need luck? Was she about to get herself tangled into something dangerous?

But again, she would be hardly so energized about it, despite the obvious exhaustion.

John shook his head and turned to one side, facing the wall. "You worry too much," she would have told him if she had been there at the moment.

...

"You're too reckless…" that's what he would have probably told her had he been here. May frowned, trying hard to focus on the situation at hand. Instead she found herself lost in what ifs. Like "what if John was here?" What would he say?

"You're too reckless…" his voice rang through her head again and her scowl deepened. She bit on the inside of her cheek sharply, not enough to draw blood, just to keep her seemingly too active brain occupied with something else.

_What if I screw up?_ N7 training was just once a life.

_What if I royally screw up?_ Chris was somewhere out there, on his own. As hell of a soldier as he was, the odds were against him.

_Now is not time for doubts or seconds thoughts,_ the familiar voice in her head commanded. _Focus…you have four top marines behind you, depending on you, and one extra somewhere in who knows what condition. So man up and act like a soldier, damned! You've done it before, just because it's you making the calls, it doesn't change anything!_

"Shepard…" Nat's voice crackled in her helmet. She looked over her shoulder at the marine. His head was bent to the omnitool around his forearm, studying it. "The wires go to the left…" he said and looked ahead of them. Just a few meters in front of them there was a closed door leading to the same direction.

The group stopped and it was Maya's turn to turn on her omnitool.

"Hostiles detected…" her drone chimed, floating just beside her head as if looking at the omnitool display over her shoulder.

"Fuck…" Diego swore under his breath when Maya showed them all the orange display. Since they still hadn't downloaded the schematics of the base, all the omnitool could show were the enemies. There were approximately ten dots to their left. Though without the blueprints, it was hard to guess whether they stood right behind the door, or not.

So far they had been passing through corridors and thanks to the way the sound carried in them, they had been able to defend themselves against waves of droids quite effortlessly. True, there was nothing to use as a cover, but their strategy – to send the drone first to do some major damage, then use guns to finish off the rest – worked like a charm.

Now, however, they stood behind a door without any information about what was behind.

Maya nodded towards Nat, frowning and braced herself as he crouched to the panel to start unlocking it. She clenched her teeth and lifted her head from the tech. "Susanne, open the door when Nat's done. Leto, you look inside. I'll cover you," she barked and they all nodded. Susanne moved to stand above Natanial, ready to push the button to open the door. Leto positioned himself on the other side of the door, lying on the floor and Maya stood behind him, her gun ready.

"Done," Nat whispered and moved to cover. Susanne glanced at Leto who nodded and so she pushed the button. Door swoosh open and for a moment they were all still. No sounds coming from inside. After a few seconds, Leto moved forward a little bit, sticking out his head just enough to see inside. "All clear," he said and at the moment Maya stepped into the door, aiming inside, scanning for any sight of movement.

They were in an engine room of some kind. Thousands of tubes of different shapes and sizes slithered along the walls and ceiling, larger ones were blocking the way straight on, forcing anyone who didn't want to zigzag between the tubes to follow a rather narrow path along the walls. The air was hot and heavy with a scent of oil. Lights were rather dim, but that wasn't what was bothering Maya. The path was easily visible from the whole room. If some droids were hiding somewhere among the tubes...

The rest of the team assembled behind her, so she quickly made a decision. Moving through the tubes would be just as dangerous – in a case of a fight they wouldn't have any space for manoeuvring and they would have to cover three hundred and sixty around them. If they crept along the walls, the disadvantage of being easily spotted was also an advantage because it worked both ways. They would seem the whole room clearly...or at least as clearly as the tubes allowed...and as a plus they wouldn't have to worry about anyone attacking them from a wall. The path it was, then.

She gestured them to move out. Susanne and Diego set off first. Both were experienced shooter, not to mention their shield batteries were the least depleted. Then Nat followed. Although he was still armed – handling a midnight black Stiletto pistol – his eyes were focused on his omnitool rather than the path in front of him. He kept on scanning their surroundings, pleased to find the room was taking them just along the wires they were tracking. Maya walked next to him, playing his shield if someone ambushed from the inside of the room, and Leto enclosed the whole group. May's droned followed them all with a two meter distance between them.

Their boots were making a loud, clinking noise whenever they made contact with the grid floor. The thick aroma of oil was making her dizzy and she could feel trickles of sweat pouring down her back; the deeper they were in the room, the hotter the air, until it was almost impossible to breathe.

"Welcome in the N7 sweat room," Diego muttered, though his voice lacked any traces of humour.

"Never liked those," Susanne whispered, her voice strained; it was clear her attention was elsewhere. Gradually, their pace slowed down, they crouched instinctively as if they all were anticipating an attack. None of them was caught unawares when the first bullet whizzed by their ears, sinking into the steel wall behind them.

Almost a dozen droids suddenly emerged from between the tubes as if out of a thin air and raked the marines with bullets, forcing them into cover behind tubes. The marines started to return the fire when the door that had led them in the room opened and another squadron of droids walked in. They were now heavily outnumbered. "Get out!" Shepard shouted immediately. "Move, move, move!" she ordered and sent drone to go explode at the incoming group.

Diego stop firing and sprinted forward. Half-way to the door on the other side of the room he stopped, crouched, aimed his rifle and started firing again. "Susanne!" Maya heard his voice inside her helmet and now was the woman's turn to move. Just as she arrived to Diego, she stopped as well and turned to provide cover for: "Natanial!" Her voice was drown by the sound of explosion as D2 got hit. It wasn't as close to the drones as Maya would like it to be, but the shockwave at least knocked them off their feet temporarily. Just as she heard her name, she sprinted towards their friends, shouting at Diego not to wait and continue to the door. She crouched next to Nat and took a breath to call for Leto, but his name came out completely differently than she'd planned. It wasn't an order, it was terrified scream as she saw the scene behind her.

A lot of the tubes had gotten punctuated and whatever was floating inside was quickly filling the room. Some of it was apparently highly flammable. There was a wall of flames between her and their last comrade. His vulnerable position drew the attention of all the drones and their fire concentrated on him. His shield was about to collapse.

There was no time to think.

Her voice, as she shouted: "Cover us!" got mixed with Nat's: "Shepard!" She was running, ignoring the way the path swayed under her thanks to breathing so much of the oil and gas vapours. Her muscles were protesting and everything in her was screaming at her when she closed her eyes firmly and called on the power hidden deep inside her. Her hands were empty, her rifle who knows where, when she felt the electricity around her body, heard the sweet sound it made when it travelled through the air. The hot flame was just like a warm touch of lover's hand against her face as she ran through it, bright blue barrier shimmering around her. She could feel it whenever droids hit her and keeping the barrier up was extremely exhausting. Her vision darkened and she knew she wouldn't keep it up at full speed for long, but Leto was so close...almost at her reach. Just two seconds, that was all she needed.

Then Leto's body suddenly jerked and abruptly turned to the side, moved by the momentum of the first bullet that penetrated his weak shield. Apparently, neither Leto nor Shepard had those seconds...

Guns were barking, bullets flying through the air around her when she fisted her right hand and punched, seemingly hitting an empty air in front of her. Suddenly, all other sounds died down and she could only hear the mass of dark energy coursing away from her, cutting through the air, pushing it aside as it made its way towards the droids. She'd never been good at bowling, but these skittles were all scattered about when the wall of energy hit them. Then she was suddenly on the floor as her legs had gone from under her, falling right on top of her wounded comrade. She still felt something dull hit her back as the remaining droids kept on firing, her barrier still holding on, protecting both her and Leto's body. She felt incredibly light-headed and even though she wasn't moving anymore, she felt like still falling, stumbling forward, her heart racing. Suddenly the firing stopped and the room got still for a moment. She lifted her head, blinking away the black spots in front of their eyes and focused on the marine pinned to floor under her. Leto's eyes were opened widely, staring back at her. His face was pale and sweaty. His breathing shallow. She rolled off him, checking him for any wounds. His shoulder got hit. She panicked, she didn't know what to do, but then she heard swift steps behind her. Someone pulled her away from him.

Susanne crouched next to Leto and quickly scanned him with her omnitool, then used the device to apply an exact amount of medigel onto his wound. "There..." she said, her voice sounding calm in May's helmet despite Susanne's hard breathing, "that should do it. No permanent damage. Those droids were lousy shooters."

Leto nodded and his eyes trailer from her to Shepard. Diego had helped her to sit up in the meantime, her back leaning against one of the many tubes, and she was just wiping the thin trickle of blood running from her nose. "Fuck me blind, Shepard..." he whispered. "You're a biotic!"

* * *

Yahoo, update. I wasn't hoping to make it today, but I have :)

And I would like to thank **HeartyMedusa** for her great help with this chapter, as for the scene with Kaidan and his parents. The idea was hers and I simply shaped it into what it is. So, thank you once again, I'm always glad to hear your ideas and do hope to hear some of them in the future. Kudos for you :)

As usually, I'd like to thank you all for reading and for finding time to let me know what you think about the story. I always love reading your opinions, no matter if positive or negative - positive ones warms my heart and negatives ones helps me correct mistakes and get better.

Oh, and...as always now, thank you for your amazing patience, too O:-)


	18. Welcome in the navy, May

Disclaimer: Still don't own ME. I don't think that will ever change, life is so unfair.

* * *

Shepard laughed shortly. She had no idea what else she should do, now that they all were watching her with completely the same expression. Bewilderment and shock got mixed on their features and it deepened as she chuckled. "Fuck you, Leto?" She repeated, trying to stand up. As her hand fumbled for the tube behind her for support, she could feel how hot it was. It only reminded her of how warm she felt and she bet if not for the intelligent enviro-suit, that had started to cool down her body aster they had entered the _N7 sweat room, _she'd be already half-boiled. "In your dreams," she finished her thought, hoping the joke would ease the atmosphere a little. "Let's get out of here or else we'll get sick from the vapours," she ordered. As she expected, they behaved like true soldiers. There was no time or place for questions so they nodded and one by one ran through the fire wall again and rushed from the hot room.

Biotics among humans were still rather rare and not many people had the pleasure to see them in action, let alone know what to expect of them. All four marines in front of Shepard were probably the case. So when they were finally outside, she halted the group and spawned her drone to watch for them while they would talk. She could read it in their eyes that they needed to discuss the matter.

"Why didn't you tell us before?" Susanne asked, frowning, just as they stopped.

Shepard shrugged and moved her hands to rest on the sides of her helmet. She pushed and took it off, letting her sweaty hair fall to her face. She still couldn't get used to the black strands as she ran her fingers to it. "I don't really know. Didn't consider it important," she sighed. "I don't even use it that much, especially when I know I won't get enough food and rest."

"But of course it was important," Nat responded, incredulous that she had withdrawn this little fact about her. His voice sounded remote now that she weren't wearing her helmet. "We should be able to count on each other and that requires knowing what single one of us can do."  
"He's right," Diego seconded. His rifle was collapsed and slapped to his back, so his arms were now folded over his chest. His dark eyes were scrutinizing Shepard mercilessly as if she'd murdered someone instead of kept something from them.

"I know, but like I said. I usually don't rely on my biotic powers and I definitely didn't plan to use it now," she said, sounding more tired than she'd intended. "Using biotics is very exhausting, which is something I can't afford at the moment. None of us can, we all need to be at our best, especially after all those lovely weeks of training that has left us all rather undernourished at the moment and sleep-starved." She felt a strong desire to step back and lean against the wall. She frowned however and resisted it. She was a leader now. She couldn't afford to look weak, no matter how she felt.

"You used it now and you don't look exhausted," Diego protested, watching her face.

Shepard forced her lips into a smile. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Does Keith know?" Susanne asked Shepard, though her attention was focused on Leto. She was scanning his wound again. "Because that would finally explain why you two kept arguing about food all the time and how he made sure you always got either first or the last watch, so that you'd get the longest sleep," she reflected and her statement was followed by a series of silent hums when others realized the truth behind her words. "It always pissed me off, by the way," she added.

Leto, either he was ignoring the pain or the wound wasn't that severe, moved with ease when he reached out and pushed her arm to her side, looking annoyed. "I'm fine…" he growled so silently Shepard almost didn't hear him. And then her eyes widened.

_Either he is ignoring the pain…_the clever voice in her head repeated what she'd thought just a second ago, _or the wound isn't that severe._ She scowled and dropped her eyes to her helmet she held in her hands, taking a slow breath when something tucked at the back of her mind, her inner alarm bells ringing.

"Shepard?" Diego brought her back to present, putting his large hand on her shoulder.

"I almost didn't hear you," Shepard whispered. "When you spoke up," she said, looking at Leto, "because I didn't have the helmet on."

"So what?" Leto asked and made a baffled gesture with his hands.

" I could hear you all loud and clear before," she went on.

"Thanks to the comm," Susanne in her best "duh" voice

"But if we can use the comm to talk to each other, why can't we contact Keith?" Shepard asked, putting the helmet back on.

The four marines exchanged confused looks and Nat tried to call Keith again. No answer. His dark brown eyes locked with Shepard's green ones. "If the signal inside the base itself isn't jammed or blocked or whatever…" he trailed off.

Shepard shook her head. "It doesn't have to mean he's dead. Leto isn't either, and he should be, too."

"What do you mean?" Leto asked, shifting his weight.

Shepard took a slow breath, turning her head back towards the door leading to the engine room. "I don't really think the droids were lousy shooters. They managed to hit me just fine. I guess when they noticed your shield was down they simply stopped aiming at you and started again only after I was protecting you. I could feel the bullets hitting me…" _draining me,_ she thought, remembering how difficult it was keeping the barrier up. „I simply can't believe a dozen of droids didn't manage to hit you more than once before I reached you," she reflected, looking at Leto. "It simply doesn't make sense."

Silence stretched around the group, only soft humming from inside of the engine room and hissing as the gases whizzed through bullet-sized holes in the tubes were punctured it.

"What the…" Leto started, stopping abruptly and shaking his head. Apparently he acknowledged Shepard had a point. "Fuck this place. Let's find the damned control room, deactivate those stupid droids and find out what the hell is happening here." He was about to take lead, when Shepard caught his elbow abruptly. "You fool, you have no kinetic barriers," she growled and let him go, her other hand already playing with her enviro-suit. They all stared at her as if she'd gone mad when she handed him her half-empty shield battery. "Hey, team? I got news for you. I'm a biotic capable of protecting myself with a barrier…for a few seconds, anyway…" she added in muttered voice, knowing very well they all still could hear her clearly, and shrugged.

Then the soft smile that had formed on her lips while she'd been talking vanished as she drew a breath to speak again. "If something happens to me, Nat is in charge." Her tone was a little bit darker than she'd intended. But it hadn't been interwoven with doubts she felt. So far, a few seconds had been enough for her and her team to dispatch a small group of droids, yes, but how many times in a row could she erect the barrier around her body to protect herself? She'd never used her biotics when she knew she wasn't strong or fresh enough. _I guess now is as good a time as any for testing my limits,_ she thought.

It took her team a few seconds to proceed what she'd just told them. Leto's arms were still at his sides and he was staring at the battery lying in her palm she'd been offering. "But…"

"No buts, that was an order," she hissed, faking anger. "If you don't agree with it, do everything in your power to keep me alive," she added and sneered at his expression when she simply pressed the battery into his hands. She smiled to herself and turned on her omnitool, scanning their surroundings. "This way…" she pointed her gun down the corridor where the wirings led as well. "D2, keep scanning for enemies and warn us in advance," she ordered the dark blue orb next to her head.

They set off again and despite being rather vulnerable, Shepard couldn't help, but wonder. She'd though something was simply wrong with the base. A rogue VI, maybe. It had already happened. But now it seemed to her like everything that had happened so far had been on purpose. Could it be really still a test? She lifted her eyes to the ceiling and spotted another camera. There were awfully lot of them for an ordinary base. Like they had been positioned so that whoever was at the other end could easily monitor their every step. See how exactly they reacted when convinced of a real, mortal danger, not faked one.

For a second she was tempted to voice her thoughts, but then decided against it. Her rogue VI theory had proved wrong, this might yet, too. And she wasn't willing to test it out. _Still…_ she though and smirked, nodding twice. The past four years of service – as short time as someone would call it – had taught her to trust her own guts. And right now the message was clear; rogue VI at N7 testing? No way.

She looked straight at the camera and smirked, lifting her chin as if saying: Hey there.

...

A door hissed and opened, but neither of three men in the room paid any attention. They just kept on sitting in comfy chairs and had their eyes locked on the screens in front of them, ostensibly fascinated especially by one of them.

"Did I miss anything?" the newcomer asked, walking inside in heavy steps. His hands clutched the towel around his neck. His shirt clung to his chest as sweat-covered as he was coming from the gym. He'd just wanted to see the progress before hitting shower. When he'd left, neither of the groups had left their improvised camps yet. But now all the screens showed the insides of three bases built exclusively for this test.

"Only the fun, Curt," one of the tree man answered. He leaned back in the chair and looked over his shoulder. Just like the rest of them, he was well-built, masculine and athletic. His hair was cut short, his shirt was black with grey N7 letters with red drop next to it.

Curt, without showing how interested he suddenly was, approached the three men and lifted his head to watch the monitors as well. "Elaborate," he said simply.

"Alpha is half-dead already," another man said, not bothering to tear his eyes off the screens. "Bravo and Charlie have both one casualty."

"Names?" Curt barked out.

The room was quiet for a minute. The only sound – quick fingers dancing on the keyboard. One of the many monitors went dark and when it lit up again it showed six pictures and basic information about the people in them. "First four are Alpha," the last man informed Curt. "Then Bravo and Charlie." Then he chuckled. "By the way, Alec, you owe me money for Summer."

Alec, the first man to speak, grunted as response, sounding grumpy.

Curt frowned. "We have them dying every year. What's the fun part about it?" he asked, his face lingering on Leto Summer, the last one to "die".

"Alpha is hopeless," the second man spoke up.

"Eugene?" Curt looked at the man, expecting explanation.

"Well…" Eugene took a slow breath, half-turning to Curt standing behind his chair. "For a group starting with the greatest number, they were rather shaken by the _unexpected turn of events,"_ he chuckled. "The droids managed to split them and hunt down one group, tearing them apart."

"Bravo's fairing a little bit better," Alec said. "They fought off the first wave of droids and came to the oh-so-brilliant conclusion it was best to shut them down." His tone was ironic, so was his smirk. "Though so far they've been moving randomly through the base. Their progress is sure, but incredibly slow. Luke keeps sending droids their way."

The last man smirked and nodded once.

"And Charlie?" Curt queried.

Alec, Eugene and Luke all chuckled like one man. "That's where the true fun begins," Alec said and pushed a few keys. The six pictures were replaced by different ones, showing all six members of team Charlie. Chris Stephan Keith was the first one, the left bottom corner of his picture marked with a yellow L – leader. He was the most experienced fighter and even during training he displayed great organizing capabilities and leadership. Second picture showed Diego Azul's glowering face. The man was huge, moved a little slower compared to...well...anyone else, actually, but what he lacked in speed he made up in brutal force. Next picture belonged to Sunnery Joe Natanial. First of two techs the team had. He wasn't as good shooter as the rest of the team, but he knew what the omnitool could do like no one else. Well, maybe except for the biotic. Maya Zoe Shepard's face, framed with bright red hair, looked nothing like John Shepard as Curt remembered him. When he'd first seen her, he had decided she didn't look much. John Shepard was tough and intimidating and people respected him without him saying anything. Even in a crowd he stood out. She was the exact opposite. Easy on the eyes, maybe, but that was all. It hadn't taken Curt long, however, to discover why she had graduated at the top of her class. She had quick mind and was a good observer. As for her tech abilities, she could easily challenge Natanial. Count in her steady aim and her biotic abilities and she was a perfect example of someone who simply shouldn't be missing at front lines. Curt narrowed her eyes at her, before they travelled to the second woman in the team. Susanne Hesinger looked definitely more soldier-like than Shepard and she was a great asset for the team. What she was really good at was saving people's lives. According to her dossier she had never hesitated to put her life at stake just to get a fallen comrade from the hot spot. She was also, just like everyone else on her team, rather deadly.

The last picture was drained of colours, indicating Leto Summer was dead.

"The leader got separated," Eugene said, smiling. "He probably heard my voice giving orders through the base's intercom."

Curt frowned and tore his eyes off the screens, bearing them into Eugene. "Why did you use the intercom?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I'm no fucking tech, it's quicker then to type the orders and send them. And I always do it. Anyway…he put the redhead in charge."

"Redhead?" Curt repeated and his eyes moved to the screen with pictures. He frowned as he looked into Shepard's vividly green eyes. He chuckled. He found it funny like everyone called her redhead despite she had black hair now.

"She rocks," Luke commented, looking smug. Charlie was his team and he'd spent a lot of time with them, observing them in action. It wasn't like he was the only one responsible for their training, but he was a little bit possessive of the team he had in charge.

"And smart," Alec nodded. "She got them both goal and direction."

"Direction?" Curt lifted his eyebrows.

"Camera wirings," Eugene explained. "The follow the wires to the control room. Her idea. And…" he paused for a moment, lifting one finger, "she knows."

"You can't know that, dude," Alec protested. "She simply looked at the camera."

"No," Luke shook his head. "She _smirked_ at _us_," he specified and looked over his shoulder at Curt. "If I could speak for myself, the second invitation has already her name on it."

...

"You're okay?" Diego leaned above Shepard. She sat on the floor where she had crumpled, her head between her knees, breathing through her mouth. She nodded carefully and the world spun around her so wildly she shut her eyes tightly.

"We're almost there…" Nat said, scanning the wall behind Shepard's back. "I pick up a lot of wirings here."

She forced herself to swallow, hard, and made a move to stand up. Her knees were weak and her head was throbbing, the back of her neck hurting and every nerve of her body on fire. "Fucking droids…" she swore under her breath as she collected herself from the floor. Susanne picked up her rifle and handled it to her. "Nosebleed again…" she said, motioning to her own face, but Shepard now didn't even bother to lift her hand to wipe the blood off her face. "How's your equipment, Diego?" she asked in firm voice despite her trembling hands and weak knees.

That was a third group they had encountered since the engine room. All of them had been more numerous and stronger and the last one included a droid capable of spawning drones on its own. Diego had been closest to the group so it was him who got hit by the drone's overload.

Shepard looked at the large man and he shook his head. "Written off," he said simply, waving the gun around. "But the enviro-suit's okay. The gun got the worst of it."

She nodded and looked at Nat. Since he was the one usually following the wirings he couldn't fire an assault rifle. It was collapsed on his back while he was using the Stiletto. Natanial understood her gaze and handed the rifle over. At Shepard's command the group set off again.

Then all of sudden the lights went out and the corridor got drowned in darkness. Within a heartbeat four beams of light cut through the dark as they all activated flashlights on their guns.

"What the…?" Susanne murmured as they all stood frozen. Shepard turned her head to one side, her right ear towards the corridor to listen to anything out there.

In a few seconds lights were back on.

_"Shepard, do you read me? Maya? Please, respond!" _an urgent and somehow desperate voice echoed through the whole corridor. Shepard flinched. "Keith?" she exhaled and exchanged surprised glances with the rest of her team. "Keith," she repeated his name, sounding relieved.

_"Yeah, that's my name. Listen…I don't have much time. I'm barricaded in the control room…don't ask…there is quite a bunch of droids trying to break in and all my equipment is useless."_

"Can you navigate us?" Shepard barked quickly.

_"Sure thing. I can see your position. Down the corridor, first turn to left and straight on on the next crossroad. And you should see the droids by then…"_ Even before he finished his sentence, Shepard had the team moving again. Throwing all the caution out the window they sprinted. Shepard despawned her drone somewhere along the way – having an explosive drone floating next to your head while expecting being shot at was a suicide run and Shepard wasn't stupid.

When first shots whistled past Shepard's head, she erected her barrier, ignoring the way her vision blackened. Her teammates quickly returned fire. Not that it was anyhow successful. Shooting while running was never accurate and so she drew a quick breath. "Nat!" she yelled and an orange light enveloped her arm. A large, blazing sphere and a bright blue round illuminated corridor as they cut its way towards the group of droids. What the explosion from Shepard's incinerate orb couldn't destroy, Natanial's overload successfully fried, clearing the path.

The group didn't stop until they were at the door. "Keith, open the door…" Shepard said, breathless. Within a second, the red light on top of the door turned to green and it swoosh open. She motioned the team in and followed as the last one, locking the door behind her.

She resisted the urge to rest her forehead against the door and let out a really, really long breath, because the work wasn't done yet. "Nat, deactivate the droids," she said, still panting when she turned from the door.

The control room was smaller then she had imagined it. One wall was covered with countless monitors showing different corners of the base, quickly switching between cameras when they picked up a movement. Nat had approached the large control panel just under all the screens, while Susanne had crouched beside Keith sitting in the chair in front of it. Behind him were a couple of lockers.

He didn't have his helmet on, nor he was armed, but didn't look injured. "I'm fine…" he confirmed Shepard's thoughts when he rejected Susanne's attention and stood up, facing Shepard. "Damn good work out there," he jerked his chin towards the door behind Shepard's back, and smiled softly. He looked just as tired as Shepard felt.

"Done," Nat said quickly and it was Shepard's turn to approach the console. She turned on her omnitool and worked her magic while the rest of the team observed. Their heads lifted up to the screens as the droids all over the base started to collect themselves from the floor as she re-activated them. This time without hostile intentions, as her drone validated after she spawned it again. Only then she took a slow breath and closed her eyes. Her hands resting on the console, she put her weigh into her arms, as she leaned against the panel, exhaling slowly. "Leto, contact the Villa."

He made a step towards the console, then hesitated and looked at Shepard questioningly. "What should I say?"

"That we're throwing a great BYOM party in the base and they're invited…" she said with blank expression and he grinned. "You know...it was just a joke," she said while watching him type exactly what she'd said, word for word. She shook her head and took off her helmet, setting it aside on the console. She allowed herself a soft smile when she looked at Keith, who was smiling proudly at her. "So spill it out, old guy. How did you get in here?" she asked the question that had been burning on her tongue ever since he had said "don't ask".

"Well…I wanted to scout the surroundings of the base and when I approached it, I heard someone talking from inside," he started speaking. He took a short pause and moved to the lockers. "I walked right in and then I heard something behind me," he went on, opening one of them. "Here, a reward from the instructors," he smiled and pulled out five chocolate bars that all but begged to be ripped open and eaten. Keith didn't manage to blink when all of them were suddenly in his teammates' hands and they all were chewing happily. He smiled. "I turned around and saw this large, blue energetic ball – like the one May often uses," he pointed at her. She shrugged and took another bite of the bar. "Thanks to it I knew what it was and it would do, so I threw a grenade and bolted. With no kinetic barriers, no gun…" he took a short pause. "I scrambled into a ventilation system and somehow ended up in the control room. I tried to contact you, but the intercom wouldn't work – and my comm was fried thanks to that…blue…thing," he motioned his hand towards Maya in circular movements. "I tried to make the intercom work…and probably caused a short circuit or something, but when the power was on again, it was working," he shrugged. "Anyway, you know the rest."

"Wait…you caused a blackout, and then it worked?" Nat asked after he swallowed the last piece of the bar.

Keith made a baffled gesture with his hands, palms to Nat, and shrugged. "Hey, no tech here. Just a soldier. I can shoot, but the brains are somewhere else," he joked and looked at Shepard. She was half-sitting, half-leaning against the control panel, listening intently to him. And when he locked her eyes with her, she smiled at him. "You're not giving yourself enough credits, Chris," she said softly. She moved her head then, trying to stretch her neck, bringing her hand to massage her stiff shoulder. Once again the toll of exhaustion, training and lack of food caught up with her. Though she had to admit she felt a little bit better than a moment before thanks to the chocolate bar. There simply was a really close and intimate relationship between a biotic and food based on a mutual need. Or maybe rather one-sided need. Anyway, she couldn't wait for the instructors to get there and take them away. She would kill for a comfortable bed…or a hard bunk…or just a tiny space on the floor where she'd curl up and sleep. She bathed at the delightful thoughts and smiled to herself, lifting her eyes to the camera above them which surveyed the whole room from the ceiling.

"Damn, don't we have more of those bars?"

"I'm wondering about something else. Don't you think it was…I don't know…too easy?"

"That's because we're good."

"Nah, we're better."

"Hey, guys…do you realize what this means?"

"May…?"

Maya flinched and dropped her eyes from the camera to Keith who had joined her side, mimicking her posture as well as her tired expression. "Can I ask you something?" he started quietly.

A playful smiled turned the corners of her lips up. "Shoot, soldier."

Keith blinked. "You're flirting with me? Damn, the first time you're flirting with me and we're in a room full of people," he shook his head and snapped his fingers in pretended annoyance.

"Your question, Chris?" Maya purred.

Keith froze for a moment and looked her in the eyes, frowning slightly. He took a very slow breath. "You know, out there you were all business most of the time. But there was one time when you stopped and looked up at the camera. It zoomed at you at the moment so I could clearly see your face and…why did you do it? The face you made…"

She smiled and patted his shoulder. "I really do hate to steal the instructors the chance to tell you themselves, but since you asked - it was a make-believe. We never were in a real danger."

Chris' eyebrow rose slightly at that and he reached out with his gloved hand and cupped May's face, using his thumb to wipe the blood under her nose. With little success since it had long dried. He dropped his hand to her shoulder slowly and then let it hand slide down her arm to take her hand. She didn't move, so he pulled gently, taking her from the console, smiling at the obvious puzzlement in her eyes. "Let's get you clean up a little. You look terrible," he explained and let go of her hand, turning his head towards the rest of the marines. "Gang, we'll be right…"

"Whatever…" Diego waved him off, not really listening to him. He was searching the lockers, probably digging for more nourishment.

"So…" Keith let out a long breath when they were out. "What did you mean by that?" he asked, leading May down the corridor, zigzagging between bodies of droids Shepard and her team had so effectively destroyed. He took her elbow gently and took left turn at the nearest crossroad as if he knew where to go…which he probably did, considering the time he spent in the control room with the base's blueprints right under his nose.

"I realized it after the gunfire in the engine room. Those droids could have easily killed Leto, instead he was shot once," she said simply, shrugging. They walked slowly, Keith's hand still on her arm as he led her through another crossroad without a second of hesitation.

"Besides, if something had really gone wrong, I'm sure the N7 staff wouldn't have let us continue, don't you think? N1 adept dying at the training wouldn't look good once out in the public."

"Eh…that's hard to guess, really," Chris muttered and finally stopped in front of a door. He touched the panel next to it and when the door swoosh open, motioned for her to go inside with "ladies first."

She frowned at him. "I'm no lady."

"Technicians first?" he said simply and she shook her head and walked inside a restroom. It was clean and smelled of grapes which took her aback at the moment. And when she stepped to one of a washbasins, she was aghast. "Damn…I look terrible," she laughed a second later, examining herself in the mirror. Pale, sweaty, dirty and bloody face, damp dishevelled strands of black hair, dark circles under her eyes. She hadn't seen her face in weeks, but she had registered the weight loss. Still, the way her cheekbones stuck out from her gaunt face was still unexpected.

She turned on the water and caught some of it inside a cup made of her hands and splashed her face. The water dropping into the washbasin was stained by blood as she gently rubbed the spot under her nose.

Keith leaned against the wall behind her, watching her in the mirror with deadpan expression. Then, ever so slowly, he frowned at her back. She'd flirted with him. And she hadn't tried to deny it when he asked her. Never before had she responded to his advances, as innocently meant as they were. Nor she had ever let him touch her the way she had allowed it now. Caressing her face, her neck and arm…yes, he'd only wanted to wipe off the blood, but she couldn't have known that. _Poor kid,_ he thought grimly, watching her examining herself in the mirror.

He could remember what the service in the Alliance navy had done to his marriage. It still left a bitter taste in his mouth whenever he remembered the way two people, deeply and madly in love, ended up a few years later.

Shepard, she was a good soldier, a talent. He could see that in her every move, he could have seen it today, too. She had never hesitated, she had reacted swiftly and with strange precision, and even thought she was the youngest of all of them, others never stopped to question her orders. They simply obeyed.

_How old is she exactly?_, he thought, narrowing his eyes. He vaguely remembered she'd been eighteen when she first walked into the Hawking four years ago...or maybe he simply realized she couldn't have been any younger. So, alright, maybe calling her a "kid" was premature. He thought there was larger gap between them than a mere twelve years. Still, he shook his head. _A way too young for all this shit,_ he thought. Something in her personal life must have happened and even though she didn't look hurt at the moment, Keith knew she would definitely get hurt sooner or later.

"Chris?" her soft voice brought him back to present. She'd stopped washing her face and and watched him in the mirror. Her face was still wet, there was a drop forming on her chin and nose. Her lips were curved up in a soft smile. "Damn, smile a little. We're N1…or…maybe," she shrugged. "I'm still expecting the catch to appear," she said and moved to drink from the running water, taking small sips. She hadn't even realized how incredibly thirsty she had been.

"No catch," Keith said, not moving from his position. "You were simply good. You sure you done? You still look like hell."

She stopped drinking for a second. "The things you say, huh, Chris? Exactly what a girl wants to hear."

"What can I say? I'm charming," he said, trying to sound cheerful, but deep inside he felt sorry for her.

...

The cab Maya was in was swaying gently as it flew through the air, lights from the skyscrapers blinking at her from all direction. Her hand was in her eye level, holding two small, cold plates of stain-less steel. Her new dog tags. Updated, she'd say. With hot tears in her eyes she watched the small N7 glisten thanks to all the light from outside, unmoving.

It should have been the best day of her life. She should have been happy, excited, thrilled, ecstatic and proud, but she felt miserable. She clenched her teeth and shut her eyes tightly, trapping the tears inside just like she tried to bury her emotions. Last six months had been hell. She'd tested her own limits in a way she'd never thought possible, and yet nothing of it had broken her.

Sixty seconds, however, were enough to do such damage to her with interests.

Or maybe it was longer, she couldn't tell. Time could have slowed down, almost halted to stop, or on the contrary it might have jumped forward without her being able to tell the difference.

She'd managed to get her ribs broken and her lung punctuated in a middle of N4 training, and finished it anyway. But at least she had had the other lung to breathe with. Now every breath she took felt like a struggle she simply couldn't handle. No, she simply couldn't handle _it._

The cab stopped suddenly and she put the dog tags around her neck again, tugging them under her T-shirt. She gave the driver a few credit chips – adding a very generous tip – grabbed her sport bag and got out of the car. She looked at the tall building in front of her and willed her face to relax and smile before she walked in.

Even if she didn't know where he lived, it was impossible to miss the music when she neared. She could hear it even in the elevator, and when she exited the small cabin, the sound multiplied. Partly it confused her – loud wasn't John's style – but then she thought: hell, why not? It seemed today was the day of surprises.

It didn't take John long to open the door after she'd rang and his face was…well…surprised. Then he smiled and mouthed her name. Or maybe he said it out loud, but the music seemed to drown everything else.

And when she saw him, she felt like her knees were about to buckle. She wanted nothing more than to hug him as closely to her as she could, bury her face in his shoulder and cry a river. But she was stronger than that. So she dropped the bag she was holding on the floor just behind the door, and hugged him anyway – to buy herself some time to blink away the tears. His arms were just as tight around her waist and for a moment he even lifted her off the floor. It almost made the smile on her face genuine. "Happy B-day, John," she said before she pulled away from him. And as she did she was radiating and smiling again and looking like everything was fine. "And you owe a thousand credits, John. I've done it. I'm N7," she squeaked in her best girlie voice as she could muster at the moment, but he simply frowned, asking: "what?"

She repeated it, twice and then she frowned. She looked to her left at the huge stereo blasting at the other side of the room and lifted her hand. It had been enveloped by blue aura when she pointed it at the stereo and suddenly the room fell silent. "N7!" she screamed into the silence again, not that it was needed anymore. She stuck out her hip as she folded her arms over her chest and lifted her chin proudly. "Do you remember the bet? You owe me," she informed him sweetly.

There was a sound of something made of glass falling on the floor and she turned around. And froze. And before she could even think about how she should now react she found herself once again trapped in John's arms. He lifted her of her feet for a moment again and she could hear he was talking, but the meaning behind his words was unclear. "Can't…breathe…" she rasped out, laughing and John set her back on the floor. She bent to the bag and quickly dug something from it and handed it to John as she straightened. "Happy B-day," she repeated. She spoke softly this time, because no one else was talking. "I've been on Mindoir and a woman who bought our old living containers found this among what was left of them. And since I happened to be announcing my name in the middle of the colony and she overheard it…she returned it. I thought…you would like to have it. Only…" she added and smiled, "if you're going to react the same way as me, I recommend watching it somewhere in private," she winked at him and turned to John's guests. "Hey everyone. I don't believe we've met. I'm Maya, John's little sister," she introduced herself, the strained smile already bloody painful on her face.

"A credit for your thoughts," Kaidan's voice whispered behind her, and even the soft sound startled her. She flinched and turned from the window to look at him. "What?" she asked soundlessly and watched him step into John's bedroom and close the door behind him, shutting out the music from the living room.

...

"I've noticed you disappeared. Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Why should anything be wrong?" she answered his question with question, deliberately avoiding responding him. When she fell silent, laughter sounded from behind the door, twinkling merrily like it was trying to cheer her up. But Maya, at the moment, felt like nothing could ever cheer her up again. Not even John, as she'd hoped. Not even sharing all those N-whatever-number stories she had told him and his friends. Not even alcohol seemed to help. Quite the opposite, she felt even worse, drowning in all the sorrow and pity and hurt as well as anger and feel of betrayal.

"I don't know," he shrugged and made a first step towards her. It was slow and careful motion as if she was a wild, shy animal and he didn't want to scare her off. "You just didn't look yourself, that's all."

She laughed bitterly, turning to the window again. Two years ago John had finally bought larger flat, not that he needed it anymore, and that was the first time Maya was here. She liked the view, because it was almost on top of the building, offering a spectacular outlook over the Vancouver Harbour, just as she liked his new address. Marine drive was simply perfect. "Don't presume to know me, Kaidan," she said in dark voice that made Kaidan hesitate before taking another step. "Actually, you know nothing about me. You might think so, but I might just as well prove you so bloody wrong, that it will leave you feeling like the greatest idiot in this fucking universe…" she growled and only then she realized her hands were fisted, clenching so tightly her knuckles had gone white. She was trembling with sudden desire to punch something. Or not _something_. She knew very well what her hands wanted to beat up, but she was better than that.

She took a slow breath and relaxed, letting her shoulders drop as well. When she looked at Kaidan, he stood still within her reach, watching her with his intense and beautiful hazel eyes. There were questions in them and confusion, but he didn't ask. She tried to smile at him, but it felt so forced she gave up and dropped her eyes instead, looking at the floor between them. "I'm sorry…for the language. A bad habit I picked up somewhere along the way between the boot camp and N7 apparently. It's my old commander's fault…you know? Chris, your father's XO," she added and felt a stab of pain once again. She should have accepted his offer. She should have gone with him and the rest of N7 to celebrate. But no. She'd simply had to stay on Earth. Stupid, stupid thing to do.

He was silent and it made her uneasy. She shifted her weight and looked from the window again.

"It's not you," he said suddenly, his voice strangely hoarse. Maya blinked and looked at him with bafflement written all over her features. He had reached out and his hand was suddenly buried in her hair. Her eyes widened at the unexpected touch and she was inclined to take a step back, but then she remembered she didn't have to anymore.

"You don't like my new hair?" she asked and for the first time she actually manage to sound her usual self. Encouraged by this discovery she smiled and tilted her head to one side. "Now that hurts, Kaidan," she said softly.

"Does it?" he asked, and Maya suddenly wasn't sure what he was referring to. Her hair. But of course he was talking about her hair. There wasn't anything else he could be talking about.

"It will fade within a day or…two…" she shrugged. Why did she tell him that?

Kaidan sighed and rested his hand on her arm to stop her from saying anything else. And she was suddenly afraid he would keep asking. She could easily lie to John. She could keep things from Lena, and she had managed to screw it up with David by lying to him, too. But not Kaidan. She couldn't lie to Kaidan. And she couldn't tell him the truth either.

Her eyes darted sideways, like she was searching a way out, but there wasn't any. She looked back at his face, so close, and her eyes slid down to his mouth. And she was at the gym again, could feel his touch on her shoulder, his lips on hers, his hand in her hair and the other on her back pulling her closer to him.

She closed her eyes, twisting her face as if in pain and groaned. She stepped to the side and sat down on John's bed, resting her elbows on her knees, her palms on her forehead. She could feel the bed lower a little when he joined her side. His hand felt pleasantly warm on the small of her back where he laid it, trying to soothe her. "Maya?"

"Please, go away," she rasped out, her voice hoarse with tears, pleading.

"I'm not going anywhere. You helped me once, remember? I intend to do the same, now."

Her hand moved a little, running up her spine and she tensed. Was he doing it on purpose? She couldn't decide. She gritted her teeth and finally looked at him. She was about to tell him to keep his hands off, to get out of there and leave her alone, but one look in his eyes took all the defiance away. Once her anger was gone, all she could feel was the hurt and incredible vulnerability she felt ever since she'd left her flat. She hated it and wanted to get rid of it. She focused on Kaidan's hand on her back, trying to draw the comfort he offered from it. And then she knew she wanted more than this touch. She'd dreamed about him, she'd craved him. Sometimes, in bed with David, she had closed her eyes and imagined it was Kaidan on top of her, his lips trailing down her throat, his hands holding her hips. That it was Kaidan whose body was pressed against her, moving inside her.

David? Who was David? Screw the fucking son of a bitch.

Involuntarily, she wetted her lips with her tongue as she slowly moved. She wanted to freeze the moment, to stay like that forever, to forget everything. She could hear the music from the next room, voices talking, but she didn't care. It was just Kaidan and her, trembling gently, as she brought her hand to his jaw, leaning closer until her lips brushed his. She could feel butterflies in her stomach, her fingers tingling pleasantly, as his hand pulled her to him, deepening the kiss. She straddled him as her hands begun examining his body. She felt hard muscles on his arms, rippling under her palms as they encircled her waist, pressing her to him as if he needed her just as she needed him.

She moaned when his lips touched her just under her right ear and she tipped her head, giving him more access. She shifted slightly and could feel him responding under her. It felt damn good to be desired again. With a smug smile on her face, she slid her hands up his stomach slowly to his chest and she pushed, until he was lying on the bed with her on top of him. His hands were burning her thighs, sending pulses of electricity to stimulate her every nerve.

She straightened and was about to pull her shirt over her head when his hands grasped her wrists tightly. She froze and looked at him. His eyes were dark with desire, his hands were trembling and she felt his need pressing against her, but his face was frowning. He was breathing hard when he suddenly shook his head. "No," he rasped out. "We shouldn't…you're..." he stopped and closed his eyes, sucking in a breath as she shifted again. "You shouldn't be doing this, Maya."

"Why not?" she asked him and loved the lack of oxygen in her lungs.

He opened his eyes again and suddenly she was the one pinned to the bed. Her wrists still in his, he held her arms above her head. "You're going to regret it later," he said, his voice deep and rich. His eyes were frowning at her.

"No, I'm not," she assured him and arched her back under him.

"Then you're not the one I took you for," he said and let go of her hands. He rolled off her, getting up from the bed. With his heat gone, she felt cold and miserable again. She sat up slowly, still trembling, and lifted her eyes to him. He stood in front of the window, her back to him. He couldn't believe it. She had never struck him as the type to cheat on someone, yet here she was...here they were.

"We've both had our share of alcohol," he said, his voice hoarse. "We may not be exactly drunk, but we're still not thinking clearly."

"Kaidan..."

"I'm not going to let you make a mistake, Maya. You better go now. I would, but for both our sakes I should stay put for a while..."

He could have punched in her face and it wouldn't have hurt half as much as his voice, sounding so cold all at once. She stood up from the bed. She could tell a defeat when she saw one. Even though she hadn't liked David anymore, even though their relationship had been in ruins long before she had gone to tell him so, he had hurt her. But she loved Kaidan, and his rejection pulverized what remained of her broken heart.

She crossed the room, all this time feeling his eyes on her back. She turned before opened the door, looking over her shoulders. "I'm sorry," she choked up and left John's bedroom. No one noticed her as she slipped through the living room either. She simply couldn't put on a happy face any longer and so she had go get out. She picked up her things from the floor and left quickly, using her omnitool to call a taxi.

She was cursing herself inwardly all the way down in the elevator. Silent tears ran down her cheeks and she had no strength to lift her hand to dry them. _Stupid, stupid, fucking stupid..._

She felt like a complete idiot. Why had she done it? Why the hell had she done it? Just because many, many years ago he kissed her, didn't mean he was attracted to her. She had, too, kissed guys she didn't like. She should have listened to her own advice and shouldn't have presumed to know him. Apparently he'd just been friendly and she had simply misunderstood his behaviour. She was his best friend's younger sister. Of course he'd been friendly. And she...she had been so incredibly stupid, naive and gullible.

_Serves you right for taking things for granted,_ she thought angrily as she exited the building, and the fresh, cool night air felt like a slap against her hot cheeks.

_Damn…behold, everyone. Maya Shepard, 2nd Lieutenant of the Alliance navy and a fresh N7 operative, running away from the only thing she apparently can't handle – her personal life,_ she frowned at the thought, but it was so painfully true her face twisted in pain a moment later. She hunched, her hands holding the sling of her sport bag tightly, hoping the cab would arrive shortly.

The door behind her opened and she froze. Her shoulder tensed and she begged him inwardly to leave her be, to go away. But she wasn't that lucky.

"May…"

"No…" she rasped out, her voice pleading. She hung her head, keeping her back to Kaidan. "No, Kaidan, just…just go back and leave me alone. I got the message, okay? I had it coming, I understand it now." She jerked her head up searching the sky above for sight of any headlights heading towards them. She had to get away and quick.

"Maya, what are…"

"Kaidan, please, I beg you..." she started to say, but then she shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. She closed her eyes and felt the cold tears escaping from beneath her eyelids.

There was a gentle hand on her shoulder and an engine roaring above them. She tensed and stepped forward, trying her best not to sob when the taxi landed smoothly, the driver checking something at the dashboard, then he looked at the only two people standing on the street and froze, his eyes locked with May's for a moment.

She quickly approached the cab and opened the door, then froze. "It's not fair, you know?" she whispered and ever so slowly put the bag on the floor between the back seat and the passenger seat. "Ever since the kiss in the gym I couldn't stop thinking about you. I lied to everyone, lied to you, to David, to myself. I tried everything, but you were simply stuck in my head and there wasn't anything I could do about it," she said softly.

"G-gym? But...but you said..."

She smiled sadly and looked at him for a moment. "I lied," she explained and got in the cab. "Spaceport," she said when the door closed behind her and a second later she was in the air, her fist pressed against her mouth, her eyes closed. She waited a few seconds and then she dared to take a shaky breath. She turned on her omnitool and swiftly – as swiftly as she could with her vision blurred by tears anyway – she typed a message and sent it away.

_Hey, Chris. When you arrive, could you rent me a room wherever you're staying, too? I'm on my way to Elysium._

She didn't even manage to turn the omnitool off again when it chimed. _I thought you'd be with David. Something wrong?_

She stared at his reply for a moment, not sure what to answer. She desperately needed to talk to someone, but she didn't want anyone to know just how down exactly she was. _I need to buy a new bed. _She hesitated. _And sell my flat._ That told it all and sounded neutral.

This time it took him longer to respond._ I could help you with that. Been there, too. Welcome in the navy, May._

* * *

Thank you for reading everyone. I hope you liked the chapter and if there is anything you would like me to know, like what you think about it or stuff, feel free to let me know :) Take care, guys _  
_


	19. I need to breathe

Disclaimer: I don't own ME.

This one's a little shorter than the few last chapters, so I was way quicker with it. Enjoy

* * *

He couldn't believe it. He just stood outside the tall building, staring at the place where a cab had been just moments ago, a cub she'd hidden in as if it was her shelter. Crying.

He'd made her cry.

According to John, who was proud of how strong his sister was, she'd never cried. Not after Mindoir. Not after the Citadel. Not after he had to leave her. Never. It almost seemed to Kaidan like she didn't even know how to cry. That tears were a big unknown to her, and that nothing could ever shake her. He'd been wrong.

He'd made her cry.

He should have known better than to snap at her. But he'd been angry. There she had been, the woman he desired, in a bed with him, wanting him just as he wanted her, but...she wasn't his. Not really. Later she would just get up, dress and leave, probably heading home to meet the one she belonged to.

Or would she?

Kaidan could tell there had been something wrong about her. John hadn't seemed to notice, but he could read it in her eyes. She had been hiding something, but she apparently hadn't wanted anyone to know. Not even her brother. She had been extremely upset, but tried to look casual, happy to be home and proud of her new accomplishment. But why? Whatever it was, was it the source of why she had behaved the way she had?

And what _could have_ shaken her so much?

He tried to remember if she hadn't given anything away during the evening and then he realized there was a single moment where she'd actually dropped her eyes and her smile froze on her lips without any apparent reason.

_"Damn, sis...N7. I can't believe it. My little sister beat me in my own game? What did David say? "_

_ Maya blinked at her brother and then quickly looked at the bottle in her hands, her face turning carefully emotionless all of sudden._ _"There wasn't time to tell him," she said softly and then focused her eyes on John again. "And don't think by changing the subject you can make me forget the bet."_

As if in dream, he turned around and returned to John's flat, much more sober that he had left it, his mind racing.

...

_Hey, Tobi. _

_ I've got some big news. Do you remember how I told you about the super-exciting training I was to undertake? And how I refused to tell you what the training was about and promised to tell you later? Well, now's the time. _

_Special Forces. Yes. N7, right here. Can you believe it? Because I can't, but that's not the only thing I can't believe, so I don't worry about it much._

_ I'm on my way to Elysium to celebrate our new ranks with some friends. N7, too, and a few N6, but even if they were only N1 it is hell of a success. And I'm really looking forward to getting so drunk, that I would hardly remember my own name. I know I would regret it next day, but I need it. Tobias...do you remember how, on our journey to Mindoir, I told you about the problems I had with David? He apparently had a few problems with me, too, and found his own way to solve them. He...damn, I just stared at my omnitool for several minutes, being unable to write what happened. It shouldn't have mattered to me, that he had someone else, but it does and it makes me incredibly angry. And on top of that I screwed it up with Kaidan, too. Today simply is not my day. I'm glad I'm closed in this small cabin for the next…ah…a few or so hours (not really sure how long the journey should take) where I can't do any harm. Especially to myself. _

_ I'm sorry...I intended to write this message cheerfully, but it seems I'm out of cheerful thoughts for now. It's just...whenever I close my eyes I see them. And I keep hearing Kaidan, too. "Then you're not the one I took you for," or something like that. I have no idea what he meant by that. What did he take me for? But it doesn't matter. None of this matters. _

_ I'll sell the flat on Earth and probably buy one on the Citadel. It's better, because when we have shore leave, ships usually dock at the Citadel and this way I wouldn't have to go all the way back to Earth. Not that I have any reason anymore, right? Or course, there's you. I would never stop visiting you and I promise to do it as soon as I can, but I need to pull myself together, first. I've already let Kaidan see me broken and I hated it._

_ I promise you, Tobias. No one will ever see me on my knees. Never. _

_ See? I'm terribly rambling. I'm all "I'm not letting anyone see me weak", but keep writing how miserable I am. That's because I trust you like I trust no one else. _

_ I'm going to be two weeks on Elysium, and after I'm back I promise to stop by, okay? So clean your garage or wherever you fix your customer's cars, I don't want to end up with oil stain on my jeans again. I'm joking. I couldn't care less about it. You know me. I still have the jeans. The oil reminds me of you :-) (See? Happy emoticon. I'm not that miserable after all. You know...I would really love to see what other species' emoticons look like. Hanar's for example should be interesting.)_

_ Say hi to Kara and your folks and kiss Hyper on his muzzle for me. Love. May._

_ (I'm totally getting a new tattoo)_

_..._

Kaidan barely managed to close the door behind him when John ambushed him, putting his hand on his shoulder and leading him deeper into his flat. "Have you seen May? I've been trying to find her, but she's like gone." He didn't have to scream anymore. After May's excellent display of turning his stereo down with biotics without breaking it – apparently she was as talented as her brother – no one had bothered to set the volume up again.

_I lied…_

"She just left," he admitted. Though he was determined not to say why unless John somehow managed to squeeze the information out of him. He didn't know what he was afraid of exactly, but he didn't feel like telling John anything about how he felt about his sister at the moment. First he would need to talk things through with her, as he should have before she had left. Damn, he shouldn't even have let her kiss him in the first place. He should have stopped her before they ended up neck-deep in the mess.

_ Ever since the kiss in the gym…_

"John…" Kaidan went on before John could even draw a breath. "Has May confined in you that something was wrong between her and David?" he asked carefully, avoiding his eyes.

…_I couldn't stop thinking about you._

The squeeze on his shoulder tightened. Not enough to cause pain, but enough to make Kaidan feel uneasy. "We didn't have much of a contact this past half a year, remember? Why? Has she told you anything?"

Kaidan shrugged and shook his head. "No, she just seemed like something was eating her away."

_I lied to everyone_

John paused for a moment, casting a quick look across his living room. "You sure? Couldn't it be just exhaustion from the training?"

"I'm positive," Kaidan said firmly and frowned. "She wasn't herself."

_No, I'm not…_

John made an abrupt motion towards the door, but Kaidan caught him. "John, you don't plan to go to her place now, do you? You're drunk. You can't drive. Besides, maybe I was wrong and in the case she wouldn't be appreciate you interrupting anything." But that was only a half-truth. Honestly, Kaidan wanted to go with him, but he wasn't sure he'd handle seeing her now. She practically told him she loved him all those years. He should have caught her hand and never let go again, instead he stood there, stuttering like an idiot. So here he was, with her soft voice ringing in his ears, and he knew that it wouldn't cease anytime soon. That May would keep him awake all night.

Alright, that sounded nice. If only it was meant a little differently.

_I'm sorry._

"You're right…you're right, Kaidan. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe she just wanted to…"

_Kaidan, please, I beg you…_

_..._

_ Damn, May, I'm sorry to hear that. Wait…no. I'm not. I'm glad it's over. I only regret it had to be this way, but you're better off without him. Really. The guy treated you badly, as far as I can tell according to your stories. Don't worry about it, okay? Just…hey, just enjoy your time on Elysium. Don't think about him or anything. Go have a few drinks and enjoy your friends. Don't drink yourself under the table, do you hear me? Remember what happened at Jane's birthday party?_

_ Goddamned. I wish I could be there to help you get over it. But I doubt you'd need my help anyway. You're on the strongest people I know. Hell, you're the first N7 woman ever! Now go impress the Council to reach the first human spectre title, too. Yeah, you know what? Do it. Do something terribly awesome and make him see what fantastic woman he could have, but lost, because he was too dumb to notice the treasure he had in you._

_ And I mean it, May. It's not just an empty phrase. Just turn around and look at what you've been through. Half of the things would have crippled any other person, but you simply dusted off each time life kicked you in the teeth and showed it a finger. So go out there and protect humanity and make sure they all know your name. It might take a while, but in the end, I have no doubt you will do it. And that the idiot will tear his own hair while watching you on TV or something._

_ Or don't do it, that's up to you. Just don't think about past. Look at the future and forget everything else. And if everything fails, just think of Hyper. Poor old fellow, he is always so whiny whenever you leave. So, yeah, think of Hyper, who loves you with all his puppy heart._

_..._

John was one of the few people who had access to May's flat. He didn't have to knock or anything. He simply waved his hand in front of the panel next to the door, his omnitool on, and the door opened. He was still for a moment, surprised by the fact the door hadn't been locked all night, but then he frowned and walked in, Kaidan right behind him. He found himself in the living room.

May usually kept it tidy. She was rather illiberal as for order, but if she wasn't she wouldn't be so keen on joining the Alliance, right? Her flat always looked ready to be photographed for some home-design magazine. That was why John knew the instant he had walked in that something was wrong.

_May felt like screwed to the floor just as she entered her flat. Instead of dropping her sport bag like she had intended, she froze. Looking around. Her eyes fell on the coffee table in front of the large comfortable couch made of dark blue leather. An empty bottle of not exactly a cheap wine and a couple of glasses were set on it carelessly, leaving several circles of the red liquid as whoever had drunk from them hadn't bother to put anything under them. She made a few steps forward so that she could see the kitchen. The sink was full of dishes and there was a single candle on the table where they usually ate. The candle had to burn for very long since the wax had been reduced to a mere stump._

_ Then she heard a sound coming from their bedroom…_

John stared at the wine glasses. As a tiny detail as it was, the red lipstick seemed to shine from the transparent surface to John's eyes. He'd noticed it immediately and when his brain processed the information, his hand curled into a fist. He was furious. His sister _never_ used lipstick. A little bit of black eyeliner, maybe, but never lipstick.

Then he heard a sound coming from May's bedroom.

_...and it was all she could do to stay quiet. Icy cold hand captured her heart in a tight squeeze that made it skip a few beats. She turned from the kitchen and slowly walked to the door to her bedroom. The door was closed, but it wasn't enough to muffle the sounds coming from the inside._

"May!" David ran from the bedroom, looking like he'd spent the whole night awake. His hair was dishevelled and he was pale. But when he noticed who it was who'd come, his face turned _deathly_ pale. He went still, face to face with John, his eyes wide.

_ The door usually made a sound when they opened, but if it did now, Maya didn't hear it. Her face was emotionless when she frowned at the couple in front of her. She couldn't tell how long she stood there, speechless. It felt like a few seconds. Though it could have been a few minutes. Maybe hours. No...David couldn't last hours. She should know. _

_And suddenly a wave of anger washed over her, burning inside her like a flame when she folded her arms over her chest and cleared her throat. A soft, quiet sound, but it made everything stop, except for hear heart that apparently wanted to make up for the few frozen moments not so long ago. It was racing. _

_And then, after he very slowly looked over his shoulder, David's widened eyes locked with hers._

"This better not be what it looks like," John growled and David made an involuntary step back, admitting guilt.

_"I know..." May said in a firm voice she had learnt to use during the past six months, "it isn't what it looks like."_

"J-John..." David stuttered.

_"M-May..."_

"You're not denying..." John noticed and made a step forward. Kaidan's hands quickly grasped his shoulders. "No," he said sharply. He was part of the Alliance, now, so he knew what his hitting a civilian might cause for John.

"You fucking asshole," the marine growled instead, shaking his friend's hand off, "you...you..." he couldn't bring himself to say it. "She gave you a place to live, she practically fed you when you were studying...not very successfully, I might add, and this is how you thank her? She came last night, didn't she, and saw you with that whore, didn't she?" His voice was dangerously low and soft and even Kaidan felt terrified by it.

_"Two weeks," Shepard said, her voice low and soft. She had learnt that it was more effective when threatening than screaming. "You have two weeks to collect every fucking thing of yours, including this bed, and get out of both my flat and my life."_

David was speechless. There was nothing he could say. Apparently Maya had to come to him after she had left him the day before. On the one hand, John was probably about to kill him. On the other hand, he didn't have to worry about the mess he'd caused anymore.

_"Did I make myself clear?" she asked and silence was the only answer she got. But it was eloquent enough. _

"Silence speaks a thousand words," John uttered.

"John..." Kaidan behind him said in a warning tone. He didn't miss the way his hands clenched.

"He hurt May, Kaidan," John growled in response.

_So did I..._Kaidan thought quickly. "I know, but you know what May is like. If she wanted him battered, she would have done it herself. But she's a marine, so are you, and she knows beating up a civilian could get her kicked out of the navy or imprisoned...or simply punished somehow. He's not worth it, John."

_David's eyes travelled from her eyes to her left hand. The right one was holding the sling of her sport bag, but the left one was free to express her emotions in a way that terrified him. Her fist was clenched tightly and he was sure her knuckles were white. But he couldn't see it. Her hand and part of her forearm were enveloped by a whirling and shimmering blue aura. It looked like fingers for a second, the blue offsets slithering along her arm, licking her skin, sparking dangerously. And when he lifted his eyes to hers, he could see the same perilous sparks in her eyes._

"John..." Kaidan said in slow voice when he noticed the biotic aura around his hands. "You know I'm right. Don't do this. Not in anger. Remember Vyrnnus."

_Then, all of sudden, she looked like her usual self, except for the cold fury still lingering in the large, green emeralds she had for eyes. _

John relaxed and Kaidan let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "You're right," he said quietly. "My biotic punch would kill him."

Before Kaidan realized there was a "but" in his voice, John was on the other side of the room and David was on the floor, holding his face with both his hands where the marine's first collided with his nose. Then John turned around, dusted off his hands and walked past Kaidan. "He doesn't even know how much he owns you, Kaidan," he said.

"Kaidan…" David echoed after a few seconds, pressing his hand to his bleeding nose. He frowned, and even with his eyes watering due to the acute pain, he managed to shoot Kaidan a completely murderous look. He scrutinized the marine with hatred in his eyes, blinking quickly. "I see why John's here, but why are you? Did she come to cry on your shoulder? For comfort? Did she sleep over at your place like the last time?"

Kaidan simply shook his head in disbelief. "You lost the right to stick your nose into her business the day you started cheating on her," he said coldly and turned around.

John was waiting at him at the elevator and just as they were inside, he folded his arms over his chest and regarded his friend. And Kaidan wondered how much of it he'd overheard. John didn't leave him hanging in it for too long. "Is there something I should know, Kaidan?" he asked.

He shrugged. "My father likes your sister to that extent that he invited her over once. And when my Mom saw her, well…you know what she can be like. Maya had to sleep over at my parent's whether she wanted it or not."

John nodded, but his kept his eyes narrowed. "Right…" then he relaxed and looked away from him so that he would hide the smile on his lips. "I'd take you as my brother-in-law over him any day…not that I encourage you or something. Touch her and you're dead."

_And if she touched me first?,_ he thought, but was too much of a coward to ask it out loud, especially when John wasn't in exactly good mood at the moment. So instead he said: "She'd hate you so much if she heard you."

"She can't, 'cause she's not here…" he replied curtly and frowned. The question was: where was she? Was she safe? What was she doing?

...

_Hey, Maya. John gave me this contact so that I could…well…I'm sorry what I've said last night. I saw you weren't yourself. I should have known something was wrong, but I only hurt you some more. I was angry that you would be capable of something like that and…I don't know. I'm no saint either. _

_When we woke up the other day, John and I travelled to your place. We were worried, so we wanted to check up on you after you…disappeared. For apparent reasons I hadn't told John anything of what had happened. We met David and…I'm so sorry. I know it will be of a little comfort but John has broken his nose. I think he enjoyed that. _

_And I feel like a complete idiot now. Just as you left the bedroom I knew I said something I shouldn't have, but now the feeling is even greater. I didn't want to hurt you, May. I had no idea how you felt and…I'm sorry. Just please, don't do anything stupid._

_And when you feel like returning home, could we...talk? I think we need to talk._

_Please, take care. Kaidan. _

John was frowning at the traffic in front of him, daring to take only quick glances at Kaidan while he was writing. Even though his friend always had serious expression on, John couldn't help but feel this time it was even more solemn than usually. "What did you say to her that you need to apologize?" he asked finally, when the other man lifted his head.

Kaidan shrugged. "Something stupid."

"Kaidan, I'm serious."

"Me, too, John," he responded quickly. "She was hurt and I only delivered another blow."

John frowned, but didn't ask more, for which Kaidan was grateful. Though after a few seconds he shifted in the passenger seat and suddenly wanted him to speak again. That way he would know what exactly was going on in his head. Did he know how his sister felt about Kaidan? But she'd said she lied to everyone, though she forgot to mention John. Or was he just now piecing it all together? She had been hurt because of David. And Kaidan added to it. Thus, whatever he said had to be related to something purely personal.

After what felt like eternity of tormenting silence, John finally took a slow breath. "Running away isn't May's style," he said. "She fights everything life throws in her way. Quietly and on her own, but she doesn't run away. What did you say?"

There. A moment of truth. Kaidan looked away from John, outside the window. There was another car flying so close to them he could touch it if he reached out with is hand. Okay, maybe it wasn't _that_ close. "I said no."

"No? No to what?"

"But you know." Something in John's voice made Kaidan sure.

Before John could say anything, Kaidan's omnitool chimed softly. "Is that her?!" John practically shouted steering the wheel to the right when he looked at his friend quickly, not even noticing how close he was to hitting the car next to him. "Read it out loud," he ordered after he steadied the speeder.

"Hey, don't worry about it, Kaidan. I'm fine. Thank John for me. Tell the...tell the old geezer I love him."

...

_Damn, May! Where are you? John is concerned. So am I._

"Shepard…" Keith growled and Maya didn't miss she was "Shepard" again. Usually he called her her last name only in action, because, honestly, her first name would sound really stupid shouted across the battlefield. The second time he called her Shepard was when she was making him angry, apparently. He watched her intently as she stared at her omnitool.

She smiled and pushed a strand of her – now red again – hair behind her ear. "Chris, so far I've deleted every message David sent me without reading it. I'm not going to change that. That was John's friend," she said, carefully avoiding saying Kaidan's name out loud. She kept her attention focused on the omnitool, typing a quick reply. _No telling. He'd go after me and haul me back to give me a lecture. And right now I need to breathe. _

And just as she sent the message, another one came. This time when she looked at the sender, she frowned deeply and deleted the message immediately. "So…" she lifted her head afterwards, looking over the Elysium from the balcony of her rented room. "Where was I?"

"You scared him shitless by your fantastic biotic display."

"Yep," she nodded and frowned, gripping the handrail she was leaning against more tightly, as if it was David's neck and she was about to smother it. "That was involuntary, by the way. Happens when I'm out of control. Damn…you have no idea how much I wanted to send the energy his way," she growled and took a slow breath. The night air was fresh and cold, and she found she liked it. It smelled of peace, like Mindoir used to, but it was a slightly different kind of peace. Of course, it was different. A colony this might be, but it wasn't Mindoir. Elysium was the star among human colonies. Busy, alive, crowded…and it was one of the few colonies where members of other species spent their time, too.

"I'd provide you an alibi," was all Keith said and Maya didn't have to look at him to know he was grinning widely.

And she smiled too. That was a good sign. "And you'd end up in a jail with me."

"There are worse places in this galaxy. So what did you do after that?"

She shrugged. "I left and went to John in hope to distract myself. I…" she paused, looking at her hands, "…failed, so I followed you, guys. I should have done it in the first place. Could have saved myself lots of trouble."

"Hey, you're tough. You'll get over it. Besides, you're not hurting anymore, you're pissed off. That's good," he reflected.

"That's because I…didn't really like him anymore," she admitted. "I felt like it weren't _us_ for a really long time and I actually went home to tell him we were through," she added, watching the darkness on the horizon give way to the first morning light. She smiled softly at the orange and pink puffy clouds. "Look. A dawn."

"Yeah…a good time for an attack," Keith nodded, turning his attention front, too.

She frowned and gave him a sideway look. He noticed the way she turned her head slightly and met her eyes. Then had to laugh at her expression. "What? It's true. The good guys are still asleep, and the bad ones are just going to bed, tired or drunk or both."

"And what does it make us?" she asked simply, smiling at his obvious occupational disease. Even though it wasn't normal to think about an attack while watching a sunrise in her book, she understood it. Being a marine was not so much a job as a lifestyle.

"The best of the worst," he joked.

May sighed. "But maybe we should join the bad ones, like the rest of N-whatever-number, and go to bed. I haven't slept since before the ceremony in Rio," she admitted and rubbed her face with her hand.

Chris frowned at that. "That was over two days ago. You're crazy."

"Not my fault," she turned to him, using her side to lean against the handrail. "The N7 training has switched me into a kind of power-saving mode and I haven't figured out yet how to switch back. Anyway, look who's talking. Dawn is a perfect timing for an attack," she mimicked him. Then she relaxed and smiled. "Anyway…what is your story? Been there, too, huh? You promised to tell me."

Chris chuckled, though it lacked all humour, and shook his head. He took a deep breath. "I know I did. And...well...it was pretty much the same. Only we were already married and…" now he saddened, "well, the only thing I really regret is that I haven't seen my son since the divorce."

May sucked in a sharp breath and for a second simply stared at Chris. He dropped his eyes and turned to the view again, frowning at the lights of the spaceport behind the colony. A ship was just landing.

"I didn't know you have a son," she finally said softly, laying her hand on his arm gently.

"I don't talk about past much. Or about Adam." He wasn't watching her so he couldn't see how she flinched at the sound of the name. He, however, felt how her hand tensed around his arm. Fortunately for Maya, he understood it only as a gesture of support and sympathy. "He was ten this summer. Last time I saw him he was just an infant."

"Chris…" she started saying, but he shook his head and covered her hand with hers. "It was my decision, May."

"Why?"

"Amy had someone else. It was just a matter of time before they would get married after I was out of the game. Adam has no memories of me. He thinks Amy's new husband is his father. Who am I to make a mess of it in his little head? And more importantly, marines do not die of old age, don't you think? At least not many of them."

"That's just an excuse," she frowned at him and slipped his hand from beneath his so that she could fold her arms in front of her.

"Trust me, May. It wasn't easy, but it's better this way."

"Your son has the right to know his father is a great marine who fights whatever filth this galaxy has to offer to make sure he is safe back home. Damn, you're N7," she shrugged and pointed at his chest as if the ranking was displayed on his civil clothes like it is on the black armour they all had been given on Arcturus before they were shipped back to Earth for the official ceremony.

He looked thoughtful, but eventually shook his head again. "It's too late to make a sudden appearance, don't you think? No, it's not fair. No."

"Life isn't fair, Chris. But it's your decision. Although if I were you, I'd call Amy."

There was a heavy silence for a minute. Then, Chris moved slightly, turning away from the beautiful dawn May focused on, sending the woman a smirk.

She looked confused when she noticed it. She frowned and took a step back instinctively. "What?"

"Hey, I might just do that. Call Amy, I mean. Just to spite her."

"And there's my easy-going ex-commander back," she smiled at him. "I missed you. Not that I didn't like the all fatherly, sensitive and self-sacrificing you, but…" she shrugged and looked ahead. A movement near the spaceport caught her attention. The top of one of the many AA towers around the whole colony turned, facing the horizon. Other turrets quickly followed the first one. "Impressive," she mumbled, sounding sad. "I only wish Mindoir didn't have to end up in ashes for the Alliance to realize colonies needed more than a few soldiers with rifles for security."

Keith shook his head. "Elysium always had a good security. Perks of being one of the more favoured human colonies. True, it _was_ strengthened after Mindoir, but I doubt anyone would be so foolish to attack Elysium anyway. Even though they now have the perfect timing," he couldn't help but add.

"Hmm," May hummed and leaned against the handrail with her forearms. Vetus had already made an appearance, peeking from behind the hills in the distance, shedding warm orange light across the colony. She smiled sadly and just as she focused on the spaceport positioned just behind the colony, the lights making it visible from the atmosphere went off at the exact moment.

A long and somehow wistful wail of the air raid siren cut through the morning.

A huge swarm of ships materialized from behind the hills May had been admiring, casting a dark, seething cloud over blazing orange Vetus.

All coherent thoughts vanished from May's mind just as the whole colony went dark.

...

Kaidan was surprised when a woman walked to meet them when John had taken them to his place again. By the hug and a gentle kiss John placed on her lips he assumed this woman was indeed Lena. After a quick introduction she took them inside despite Kaidan's protest that he really should go.

There was a breakfast ready in the kitchen, but John completely ignored it when he walked in his flat. Before he even sat down on the couch he turned the TV Lena had on mute and started telling her where they had been.

Lena remained standing while John started talking, but slowly moved to sit next to him on the couch.

For Kaidan, it was incredibly grim to be listening to it again, and he once again felt guilty for acting like a moron the previous day. But again, he wasn't sure sleeping with May in John's bed with a bunch of drunken people in the next room was a good idea either.

Lena had sombre expression on her face when John finished. She was holding his hands gently, never interrupting his speech. "Leave her alone, John," was all she said and both men in the room paid her a shocked look. She took a breath. "Like you said, May isn't one to run away from problems. And it seems to me that all she did was simply found herself a place where she can figure things out on her own. She knew that if she told any of us, we would fuss about her all the time and if she wanted to deal with the situation with us around her, she'd have stayed. Give her a little space to breathe."

John growled something, sounding peevish and discontent with her answer. She shook her head and stood up. She approached Kaidan. "Thanks for going with him this morning...early afternoon," she corrected herself quickly. "He would have killed him if you hadn't interfered."

"You bet I would have…" John snapped.

"John…" she chided him as if he was a little child.

"Glad I could be of a help," Kaidan replied. "But I really should be going now. John, if you have any news of May, let me know."

"You really think she will tell me anything? She told _you_ more."

Lena, sensing John's anxiety, came to sit next to him again. She took his hand in both hers and started caressing his knuckles with her thumb. "Don't listen to him, Kaidan. He's just jealous," she said, smiling softly, while looking at John's glowering face. "And you." She put one finger under John's chin to lift his head to meet her eyes. "Maya is strong and stubborn. Like you. Let her deal with it and when she feels ready to face any of us she'll come home. Don't be pushy, don't write her at all, leave her be."

To escape her gaze, John looked to the side…and abruptly stood up. "Volume – up!" he ordered and the flat was soon flooded with a quick, urgent voice.

...

"...wered the distress signal immediately, but since their ETA was calculated to be in three hours, we all are asking a question: Will the Elysium security hold until their arrival or will the colony become second Mindoir? At the moment we don't have any further information."

"Fucking aliens," Tobias growled, crushing the wrench he was holding.

"Mind your language," Kara frowned deeply. Seated on top of his workbench, both her hands gripped the edge of the table, her eyes on the screen. "They haven't said the attackers are aliens."

"Who else?" he responded harshly, setting the wrench away. His hands were trembling with anger and he suddenly lost all desire to work for the rest of the day. And since it was only early afternoon, it wasn't a good thing. He knew he could have finished the speeder he was working on today, but this was too much. He would probably take out his anger on the poor machine and that wouldn't make his customer any happy.

"Pirates, not aliens," she said firmly and looked at her brother. His back was to her as he was wiping his hands against a cloth. Ever since he'd opened up his garage, his hands were constantly dirty to some extent, and he smelled of oil. Hyper found the smell incredibly interesting. "Humans have pirates, too."

"I'd bet this garage, Kara, that Elysi..." he started saying, but then he stopped so suddenly that Kara narrowed her eyes at him. "Something wrong?" she asked, noticing the way his shoulders tensed. He turned around, as white as a paper in his face. "Elysium..." he repeated, his voice suddenly weak. Hastily he turned on his omnitool and then he went still, staring at the orange device around his forearm.

"Tobi? You're shaking, what's up?" she hopped of the workbench and approached her brother, looking over his shoulder. "Oh, god..."

...

Slave shook in her corner, her hands covering her ears, her eyes shut tight. She didn't want to know when it would start. She didn't want to know how it would got, what would happen, but knew her master was keen to know. So she tried not to whine or whimper. His mood had been good so far, but she knew it could worsen the instant she'd let him know about her. He didn't like it when Slave cried. So she tried to think of something nice and happy, but last six years hardly offered anything like this. And thinking about her previous life only made her feel worse.

It seemed like a lifetime ago when she had been happy, had her husband, her children.

Her husband. The man she loved with all her heart. The man who held her hand as they together walked through their lives. Who'd been there when they made the mistake and decided to move to one of the new colonies. Whose arms had been around her every single night while she slept, and who had been there when she woke up. He'd been there for her when she had to give up one of her children and...

Her children. In pain, sweat and blood she had brought them onto this world, cherished them and tried as best as she could to raise them. And when she had had to give up one of them, she clung to the other like she was her anchor in the stormy life.

Tears ran down her cheeks silently as she pressed her fist to her mouth, fighting down the sobs. She tried to imagine her girl. The large, green eyes with those omnipresent mischievous sparkles in them, those cute freckles that used to shine from her face whenever she spent time in the sun, her soft, beautiful hair that was an epitome of her – she was like fire. Alive, burning, intense.

And then, long six years ago, her flame had been extinguished. At her sixteen years, her precious Maya had died.

* * *

To be continued.

And now my favourite part of every chapter: author's rambling! I'm sure you love it just as much. Ahem, so...since Elysium isn't some small, backwater colony like, say, Mindoir, I figured they would have some way to let the galaxy (or at least the Earth) know they were under attack, so that everyone could hold their breath while knowing absolutely nothing else. And, by the way, I didn't want to reveal who Slave really was until after the blitz, but somewhere in a middle of this chapter I changed my mind. It just seemed natural she'd drown in memories now.

Anyway, thank you all for reading the chapter and for offering your support. I wish you all nice Monday (I hate Mondays, and Wednesdays, too). And take care, guys.


	20. All clear

Disclaimer: I don't own ME.

* * *

Shepard could hear a voice. It was soft and coming from a great distance. It was calling her name. How could she know when she barely heard it? But she was certain. She wanted to turn to it, to follow it, but she found she couldn't will her body to move. She stood still like you should when you saw a predator ready to kill you. Motionless and steady. Or she could lie down and pretend to be dead, or to die, because she was lost anyway.

Was there a predator? She felt the panic it caused crushing her windpipe, but she couldn't see it. She couldn't hear, she couldn't move, she couldn't see, and she almost couldn't breathe either.

Not again. Not again. Only belatedly she realized there were tears in her eyes. The smoke hurt her eyes, she could smell fire in her hair and felt it where it had burnt her skin. She knew her left leg should hurt, and her right arm should be killing her. She could hear people screaming, as if they were shouting right next to her. She was trembling and she fought hard to suck in the air. It was cold and fresh, smelled of beautiful morning. Even though it was afternoon. The school had just ended, right? But where was Sean? He should have been somewhere, lying on the ground with a huge hole in his chest. If only she could move, but she stood frozen. She was cold. Her hands felt cold, so did her feet.

The whole world spun violently and she saw him. A man with short, black hair, stubble on his chin and dark brown eyes with gold speckles in them. His hands clasped her face, his palms burning against her cold cheeks. Her reaction was almost immediate and she didn't even realize she could once again control her muscles until she'd grasped his wrists and held onto them tightly. She wondered why he was breathing so heavily, but then realized it was she who was panting, fighting for oxygen. She searched his face frantically and when her eyes finally locked with his, his words finally started making sense again.

"…with me? May…May, can you hear me?"

"Chris…" she responded breathlessly, the name simply rolling off her tongue, though once she said it, it took her a second to connect it to the man in front of her.

"Are you listening to me?" his voice was urgent. His chocolate eyes moved for a moment, focused on something behind her, then returned to her face.

"Y-yes."

"This isn't Mindoir. And you're no helpless teenage girl. Elysium needs us. Get a grip!"

Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something. Instead she took a ragged breath. In fluid motion he slid his hands to her neck and his fingers dug into the back of her neck. It hurt. "We're not dead yet. Don't lose it, Shepard. It's not just us, it's them. It's our duty to protect them! Don't force me to slap you, soldier! I'm not used to hitting women, but I'll make an exception this time!"

She bit her lip painfully and wanted to move her head away from him, but he held her too firmly. She focused on the pain. It kept her now and here, because Chris was right – she had a duty now. She couldn't afford to get lost. It wasn't just her or him. This was much bigger. "How much time do we have?" she asked huskily.

Chris didn't even have to look towards the fleet. "Two or three minutes tops and only if we're lucky. You with me here?"

She nodded. "If they don't put power on, we're dead anyway."

"Yeah, but we still need to get as many civilians to safety or die trying."

"Like Alan."

"Like Alan," he agreed and Maya blinked, reflecting that Chris simply couldn't know Alan, but then tossed the logical realization aside. She nodded. "We're wasting time.

"And there's my faithful, too-stubborn-to-be-afraid-of-anything ex-subordinate back. I missed you." He gave her a lopsided smile and let go of her neck. His hand rested on her waist as he turned her towards her room and pushed her inside. "I'll get others. Let's meet at the entrance, try to put on a brave face," he instructed her as she hastily stripped off her shirt and threw it on the floor. He couldn't help but stop at the door and steal a quick glance over his shoulder. She didn't notice him. She'd already bent down to her sport bag to dig out her functional clothes she always wore under the armour to draw the sweat from her skin. She put on the long-sleeved shirt and trousers in a record time and before she knew it she had the pitch black armour on as well. She slapped a heavy pistol on her hip and took her assault rifle – M-96 Mattock she'd bought back on Arcturus – and put it into its slot on her back.

Without a second of hesitation she ran to the dark corridor. Several doors from other room had been opened and she could hear children crying somewhere deeper in the hotel. She darted through the corridor towards the stairway, since elevators were useless without electricity, and turned on her comm.

And then she heard it again and she thought she'd never heard sweeter music than the long, deafening wail of the siren. Lights blinked once, twice and stayed on and she had hard time suppressing a laugh. And when she finally arrived to the lobby she heard the first explosion. It was followed by another that sounded much closer – virtually above her – and the whole building shook. She hated not knowing what was going on, so she ignored her comrades, especially Diego's shouts at her, and sprinted down the lobby and through the main door. She stopped in a middle of the street, staring up. There was a huge black cloud of smoke rising from where one of the enemy ships had crashed into the building, burning. AA towers were busy targeting all other ships that hadn't been so prompt to change the trajectory when the colony's technicians put them into work again, and the flaming wrecks were raining down on the colony like a deadly rain.

She frowned as she assessed the colony. The only damage seemed to be collateral, not intentional. The fleet focused mainly on the turrets, but didn't anticipate them to be turned back on so quickly. She tried to search the sky for the rest of the fleet, but she couldn't find most of the ships. Of course, the point of anti-air towers was they needed a flying target. Once a ship landed, they were useless.

Shepard took a quick breath and looked around. All escaping people run generally deeper into the colony – obviously – and those who seemed to be lost or simply panicked were ushered to the same direction by a group of Alliance soldiers.

Without a second of hesitation she trotted toward one of them and if the situation wasn't as dire as it was she would have laughed at the poor man's expression. His eyes focused on her, then on the ICT designation on her chest, than back on her and he simply stared, looking incredibly silly with the lethal weapon in his hands and a half-opened mouth.

"I need your commander's comm frequency," she snapped in her best commander-like voice, though it wasn't all that necessary. The N7 on her armour had done all the talking before she even drew a breath to speak.

The soldier nodded, finally putting on a professional face again, and lifted his right hand to activate his omnitool. She did the same and when she received the data she wanted she immediately set the frequency on her comm and sent it to the rest of her squad. "What is his rank and name?"

"Staff Lieutenant Wiebe Hoch," the soldier before her almost shouted. She'd had hard time getting rid of this annoying habit after the boot camp, too.

She nodded her thanks and turned around to watch the hotel. "Staff Lieutenant Wiebe Hoch, this is second Lieutenant Maya Zoe Shepard, the Alliance Special forces." Despite everything, it felt so damn good to introduce herself this way. It was thrilling and exciting, but it was also a promise of the nightmare that was just coming on. "You have a bunch of trigger-happy N6s and N7s in the area reporting for duty," she said almost-formally to acknowledge his superior rank, but quickly added: "What's the situation? And, with all due respect, sir, skip the obvious…"

Apparently, the lieutenant wasn't offended in the slightest by her forward approach, or maybe he was simply taken aback by the "Special forces" part of her introduction, because he immediately started reporting to her as if she was his superior and not the other way around. Or maybe he had simply realized time was of the essence here and needless and pointless arguing would consume too much of it.

The initial air strike, just as she'd noticed, was aimed at military targets and defence of the colony. Shepard thought the step rather understandable – the more civilian building hit, the more casualties, thus fewer prospective slaves. They hadn't done much damage, fortunately, before the colony's defence system was back online, but they had managed to land behind the colony.

_"Commander Christopher Keith, N7. That makes sense. When they can't cripple you from air, they can still crush you with infantry…" _Chris' voice joined the conversation and Maya smiled. Until he added: _"Hey, Shepard, how come I don't know your middle name is Zoe?"_

"Not the time, Keith," she growled. "Lieutenant, do you have some way to observe what's happening at their extempore landing zone? We need to know their numbers, equipment, what kind of training or discipline they have, anything," she blurted out. By the time the rest of her friends finally exited the hotel and they headed her way.

_"We have long-ranged scanners, but that won't provide much."_

"Better than nothing," she murmured and looked at one of the N6s. They all had spent half a year "fighting" side by side during the training and knew what each of them was capable of. And Stones was a great strategist. "Lieutenant, send me the coordinates of your…command centre. I'm sending you one of us who'll help you coordinate the defence using the data from your scanners. Stones?" she asked the marine who, in response, nodded once. "We need to know how much time we have before they regroup," she told him and focused on her omnitool as she got the grid. She forwarded it to Stone's omnitool. "Stones's on his way, Lieutenant."

_"Roger that, Lieutenant."_

Keith lifted his hand to the side of his helmet, too. "Lieutenant, we need your every man and vehicle you can spare from evacuating civilians to help us prepare a defence line on the edge of the colony. I doubt the enemies will flank us, so they should attack the spaceport first. Stones, confirm it when you're there," he added and looked at others. "Final exam of our N7 course, guys. If we lose this colony, we're bunch of trigger-happy idiots," he said with stern expression and turned around to the general direction of the spaceport. He knew it was already lost. He'd seen it from above – there was simply no way they could hold it, not even if the odds were even. It wasn't built to be easily defendable. No one foresaw Elysium getting attacked. Because, really, attacking Elysium of all human colonies was as unthinkable as anyone attacking Turians of all galactic species.

"We need to take the fight into the colony," Shepard voiced his thoughts.

"I agree," Diego muttered behind her and then made one long step to join her side by side. "This is 'bout citizens, not the colony itself, so damned be the nice façade."

Shepard's comm crackled as Stones started talking. _"I got an idea, guys. Remember the last built-up combat training we had at N5?"_

Natanial narrowed his eyes. "We built barricades over the area, but left some of it less defended to lure the enemy this way and not any other."

Keith's face lit up. "Good idea, man. Organize it and do your worst," he smiled and then let his hand fall to his hips.

By the time they walked deeper into the colony, the place was swarming with Alliance soldiers. There weren't as many of them as Shepard hoped, but it would have to do. What she hadn't expected, on the other hand, were the armoured vehicles. "Four Makos just for this colony?" she shook her head incredulously. Mindoir didn't have a single vehicle! Yet, four of those monsters had just passed her post, the last one carefully parking across the street diagonally, complicating the access into it. Its turret was aimed outside, ready to take out anyone who'd try to pass it. It also provided additional cover for soldiers.

"_Eight_," Chris corrected her. _"Jimmi put two on each side of the colony so that they would think twice about flanking us."_

"Impressive…" she uttered, but caught herself before adding: though not necessary. She didn't think the enemy would be interested in any encirclement. They needed to get through them as quickly as possible. Unlike Alliance soldiers, batarians had no information about when the rescue party should arrive. Not that they had very good information either, all they had been told was: in a couple of hours. The part of the fifth fleet had left Arcturus and was on its way, but it would take some time yet.

_"At least we'll have some backup," _Nat commented over the comm. _"Charges are ready, by the way. If they just step into _my_ part of the colony, they are toasts." _Both Nat and Keith were the ones whose posts were without any Mako. Nat had confiscated all charges and explosives the colony had and Keith had assumed the largest number of soldiers. And he had Hoch's help, too.

"Good work, Nat," Shepard replied. "Diego?"

_"Just putting the Mako to its position. Otherwise we're ready and waiting."_

_ "Alexandr?"_ Chris' voice sounded in her helmet.

_"Let them come," _he responded briskly, sounding a little breathless.

_"Oyota?"_

_ "Keith, so once again. It's Otoya."_

Maya smirked at that, and she could almost see Chris rolling his eyes when he said: _"Whatever. You ready?"_ She knew Keith had a really hard time remembering names, especially not the ones he was used to. Though now Shepard suspected he was just making fun of the poor guy. Fortunately, their Japanese N6 comrade was a very patient man and had a sense of humour.

_"Yes."_

_"Shepard…?"_

"Ready, Chris," she responded, the traces of her amusement still lingering in her voice.

_"Let's see how long the smile remains on your face, Maya _Zoe_ Shepard. Damn, your parents had to love vowels. I mean…Maya Zoe? Really?"_ All that came in a deadly serious tone.

"Shut up," May hissed, but then she smiled. She knew why he did it.

If you asked any soldier what the worst part of any action was, it was the waiting right before it. Waiting in the transport, waiting until your enemy arrived, waiting until your superior finally gave you the order…you had simply too much time to think. Keith always tried to keep minds of his team occupied one way or another. Shepard was never sure if he did it solely for his sake, but it worked.

_"Are you done chitchatting? The first wave is on move," _Jimmi informed them.

"Here we go, guys, get ready," she informed the soldiers by her side and took a long, slow breath to calm down her suddenly madly beating heart. She usually felt excited before battle. The adrenaline rush in her bloodstream should keep fear and anxiety away, but this time things were too deeply sunk under her skin. Even though she wore amour, she felt like she was dressed in plain shirt and trousers, like back on Mindoir. Her hands crushed the Mattock she held, but she still felt helpless and vulnerable.

She looked around and saw at least dozen soldiers crouching behind whatever cover they had, ready to lay their lives for their colony. Few of them were watching Shepard and nodded when their eyes locked with hers. And Shepard clenched her jaw. She couldn't afford to panic. She was here to help them, to make sure what had happened to her wouldn't happen to anyone else here. She was the one in charge. She had to appear strong, no matter how she felt…which was, now, like a little girl watching two ugly batarians arguing in their gibberish of a language about her fate.

_"Get ready, they're almost there..."_

_ "You heard it, guys? This place is about to get really hot," _Chris spoke. _"And...just in case...it's been an honour."_

Shepard frowned, but couldn't bring herself to argue with him. The odds really weren't in their favour. The chances were that most of them would not come out of it alive. They were here to simply…buy the fifth fleet the time to arrive and do the real rescue. So instead, she took a breath and whispered: "For Mindoir." As if she'd launched an avalanche, other voices started to repeat those two words, louder and louder, and when the first shots cut through the morning air, they had their battle cry.

She'd trained for this. She'd been prepared, drilled until all the movements became her instinct. Her body didn't need her brain bid the muscles to move. And when the Mako to her left let out a first rocket that shook the ground under her feet, Hell broke. A shower of red, blue, white and green lasers rained on both ends of the long, wide street as both groups started firing. Shepard knew that holding this street was significant and they couldn't afford to back a step, so they had to keep them on their side. Ignoring explosions coming from other parts of the colony as well as the music the machine gun above her was making, she kept ordering her men around. They had enough cover to be able to move, to circle around. While half of them fired, the rest switched positions, never appearing twice behind the same cover.

They were doing fine. The pirates...apparently all batarians as far as Shepard had observed...didn't expect such a resistance. They did display a certain degree of cooperation, however they still couldn't compare to the efficiency their counterparts showed. Even though Shepard had never trained with those men, their discipline was without any doubt superior to the batarians'. So was their determination. Shepard knew that all the propaganda about fighting for humanity and everyone back home was bullshit. She'd learnt that the first day after Mindoir, on board of the Einstein. The colonists here weren't just fighting for Elysium and their families.

_"In any armed conflict it sooner or later becomes just a fight for survival,"_ her captain had said to her. The impulse to survive was the strongest human passion there was. _"It always comes to it, no matter what they say. It's you..."_ "...or them..." Shepard hissed through her clenched teeth, her head lowered to look through the Mattock sights. She could feel the barrel sinking into her shoulder each time she pulled the trigger. She wondered if she'd have a bruise at the end of the day despite the armour. She had never had it before, but again – she'd never been in any armed conflict of this scale.

Of course, provided she would survive.

Her shield rippled as a batarian managed to hit her, but before she could train the barrel on him, he spread out his arms, performed his last, jerky dance and collapsed. She finished the motion however as another batarian stood above the dying one and she hit him square between one of his two pairs of eyes. His brain and blood splattered the one behind him a second before his dead body fell on him, taking him down as well. Shepard reached out with her left hand, omnitool shining around her arm. A large, orange orb quickly crossed the distance and soon the air filled with frantic screaming as it hit its targets and set them on fire.

She quickly hid behind cover and rolled to side, covering the distance between her current cover and the next. Instead of straightening and firing again, she paused for a moment, leaning her back against one of the large Mako's front wheels to check the thermometer on her gun. It still needed a few seconds, so she called upon the power within her, gathering it, and then she leaned out of the cover. She felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle when she released the biotic energy. Her vision blackened and when she wanted to hide again, her muscles refused to move. A hand grabbed her shoulder and yanked her back. She smiled tiredly and looked at her comrade to thank him and her eyes widened.

The soldier nodded to her, gave her a two-finger salute before jumping onto the wheel and resuming fire.

_"Guys...second wave is coming!"_

_ "We're not done with the first one, yet!" _Alexandr growled, his voice strained with effort, his voice accompanied by the soft sound of his rifle barking right next to his helmet.

Another shooting rang through her helmet as somebody else opened the channel. _"Damn...Jimmi, any good news?" _ Chris shouted.

_"Eh...several of them are moving too quickly for walking. They have vehicles."_

_ "I said good ones!"_

Alexandr chimed in again, swearing in his native Russian.

"Just hold the line," Shepard hissed, still gathering her strength after the biotic display.

_"Until the end..." _Nat responded.

_"Their end,"_ Otoya specified. _"For Min..."_ he started screaming, but a loud blast silenced him.

_"Otoya!"_ Chris shouted and other voices followed as if by yelling his name they could undone whatever had happened. Then the channel fell silent as everyone was waiting for him to answer. But Otoya didn't come in again.

The world seemed to slow down a bit and Shepard relaxed her shoulders, her grip on the Mattock loosening a bit.

_"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" _Stones swore_. "Medevac's on the way, so if you still hear us, hang on, bro! I'm coming, too."_

Then she frowned and resumed firing as if she'd never stopped, trying not to think about Otoya's current condition and the fact that they all might follow him very soon if things turned out to be at their worst.

_ "They have Grizzlies!" _

"Vehicles incoming!" Shepard screamed at the top of her lungs and could hear the two words spread on and on as others repeated them. A hiss of hydraulics above her registered and then the Mako shot. She lifted her head to look through the windscreen. The driver's seat was empty and the only person inside was doing his best to prepare the vehicle for another shot. Just as the next rocket left the Mako's turret, batarian's Grizzly shot, too.

"Get down!" Shepard managed to shout a warning and she fell to the ground at the same moment the rocket wheezed through the air just a hair above the Mako. Two loud blasts shook the place again, one when Grizzly disappeared in smoke and flames, the other when the building behind Shepard exploded into thousand pieces, its fragments spraying the street below. "Ow!" Shepard grunted as one a fist sized pieces of concrete hit her helmet. The Mako's machine gun started firing, again.

Shepard tried to lift herself on her palms, but something else hit the back of her head, pushing her back on the ground with painful force. A foot landed on her back. A rifle barked and the foot was gone as the batarian staggered back, and then crumpled. A second later Shepard was already kneeling, quickly assessing the situation.

When the M29 had shot at them, they all went for a cover and that gave batarians a few precious seconds to cross the street. Not many had managed, but while her team had their hands full with trying to get rid of the handful of them, others kept coming. The Mako was riddling them with bullets, but there seemed to be simply too many of them.

Shepard was on her feet. She activated her omniblade and cut down the batarian that had just passed the Mako. She went on with her arm, completing the motion and stabbing another on the way. She crouched, dodging a butt of a rifle. She slipped under the gun and rose behind her attacker, delivering a hard blow to the back of his head with her own gun, knocking the batarian cold. Two bright red spots blossomed on the back of his head as soon as his body hit the ground, and Shepard was on move again. Summoning all the strength she had, she fisted her left hand and punched the air in front of her. As weak as the punch was it was enough to knock down the batarian two meters from her. As he fell, he took down down another two behind him when he'd spread his arms as he tried break the fall somehow. Shepard, however, didn't see them hit the ground. Her head spun and she closed her eyes for a moment, a bright orange light coming through her eyelids as she sent forward the explosive drone. It wasn't as effective as a grenade would, but seeing your buddies go up in flames after it went off usually made a short work of your moral. She heard the explosion and felt the mild heat on her face, and when she opened her eyes, five live torches were tumbling to and fro on the ground in a futile attempt to put out the fire. She could already smell the burning flesh.

Suddenly, the soldier, who had lifted her on her feet when she'd used her biotics previously, appeared by her side, and others were joining in the desperate need to push the animals back from their post. The all fired at once, and with the Mako's machine gun, batarians had absolutely no space to progress forward.

Another rocket whistled above their heads, but this time was aimed a little higher. It hit the building just above retreating batarians, ripping it apart and sending the ruins shower the street below. Batarians' growls and screams accompanied the Alliance team as it quickly return to the relative safety of their covers, while the enemy tried, and mostly failed, to dodge the falling debris.

_"Damn, Shepard, what a firework you have there! Report everyone!"_ She was the only one on Chris' right, so had been easy for him to guess who was responsible for the ado.

"A little hot here, but we're managing. No casualties," she immediately answered. Next to her position was Chris, who was obviously fine, so it was Diego's turn to speak up, since he was at Keith's left.

_"Doing just fine, had to send a few men to the hospital, though," _the marine promptly responded.

Other members of the Special Forces came in, except for Otoya. According to Jimmi, who had replaced him, he had taken a straight hit and his wounds were beyond any medic's abilities. Though the Medevac hadn't been useless. There had been a lots of wounded when it and Stones had arrived at Otoya's post.

The general situation, as grieve as it had seemed, wasn't unsustainable. Unless something big on batarians' part stepped in, they might actually live to see another day. Though in ten minutes, the optimism was the last thing on Shepard's mind. More and more often she'd requested a delivery of fresh shield batteries and within next hour she lost one man and had to call Medevac for three more. And their enemies kept on coming. The communication between posts all but ceased as they all had their hands full, but when Chris announced the next round of reports, Alexandr and Diego stayed silent, replaced by whoever were in charge in case of their death.

...

The atmosphere on the ship was thick and deadly serious. For the first time Pressly could remember, no one talked. They just focused on their jobs. Or at least he focused on his job, just to make himself not to think about the colony. They had been just one jump through a relay away, yet they had been on the other side of the cluster when the distress call had come. Just to get to the relay had taken them more than two hours. Usually raiders were way quicker with whatever they wanted on the colony they had chosen to plunder.

True, Elysium wasn't Mindoir, but the pirates knew that as well. One wouldn't attack a colony such as Elysium unless very well prepared. The chances were they all were dead by now, and everybody on the SSV Agincourt knew it.

Still, the helmsman tried to squeeze as much from the ship as they approached the relay. The blue light shone through the ship's viewpoints and Pressly closed his eyes, reaching out to touch the wall next to him. The jump was always smooth he couldn't even feel it, but he sudden blur outside was making his head dizzy. He counted to ten inwardly, and opened his eyes. The space outside looked just the same, but he knew they had just made a jump long trillions of kilometres.

And then, even though the colony simply had to be lost after all this time, they all held their breaths as the pilot opened a comm channel, trying to reach Elysium.

...

Elanos was furious. Two fucking hours and the colony was still standing. Not that he had wanted to raze it to the ground, but now after all the trouble he would make sure it would be FUBAR once they'd leave. The problem was that the gutless batarian hiding up on the ship on Elysium's orbit, Balak, had just called. The relay had been activated. They had an hour left, give or take, until the ship – or ships – would arrive. And that meant – they had to change plans.

Glowering at the colony's schematics, Elanos was thinking. His eyes travelling across the blueprints, his fingers following his gaze. He gently touched six specific places. Resistance. He touched four of them that had been reported as too strong, supported by armoured vehicles. On top of that one of them also had a technician and a biotic.

Of the remaining two, one of it had a technician, too, and was booby trapped and there was no telling how many of the charges hadn't been set off yet. Thus, none of these were acceptable. The last one left, however, that would do just fine...but they had to be quick.

"But now..." he mumbled, "we need a lot of explosives, a very fast fighter and a very stupid pilot for it."

...

Shepard was hurting; her arm muscles trembling and protesting whenever she lifted the Mattock after it had cooled down. Her legs were sore, too, from the constant crouching and straightening again and running at top of her speed. Her shoulder was aching from all the rolling – John's training or not, after she rolled a hundred times in a row it had started throbbing at some point.

And there still didn't seem to be end of it, except for a very possible death that had crept closer and closer. If it weren't for the bright sun in the sky, she would have thought a whole day had elapsed. But no, Vetus had barely moved from the spot where it had risen.

Then her comm crackled and she expected to hear Chris' voice asking for a quick recapitulation of their efforts. The voice, however, was unknown to her.

_"Special Forces operatives," _the person called them formally, his voice sounding strangely excited as if they weren't at a life-death situation at all. _"We've got ships incoming. One of ours just came through the relay and more are on their way. They will be here within an hour."_

And suddenly Shepard noticed something. All batarians started to recede quickly, backing away, almost frantically tripping over each other. Her soldiers ceased fire and started cheering loudly. Shepard's legs went out from under her and she collapsed on the ground, smiling stupidly. Kneeling, her forehead touched the ground and she tried to laugh, but it came out as a hoarse and rather nervous chuckle as if she couldn't believe it.

Batarians had to notice the ships, too, and with their tails tucked between their legs they were trying to get back to their ships and flee. _Too bad half of them will end up crashed thanks to the AA towers, _Shepard thought and straightened, her palms on her thighs for support. The men around her jumped and cheered and hugged each other in indescribable joy of victory.

She felt a hand on her back and she looked up. She smiled at the soldier above her. "So…what are the chances of surviving something like this twice in a row?" she asked Alan and he simply shrugged.

"Dunno, kid. Pretty low, I guess. But we had you and you made the difference. Damn…N7," he shook his head. "Last time I saw you…"

"I know…shot, tired, burnt and crying," she waved her hand. Then very slowly, using the Mattock as a stick, she got to her feet. Resting the gun's barrel against her shoulder, she brought a hand to her helmet, but it froze in mid-motion when she heard an explosion. It seemed the fight was still going on somewhere. And from the sound of it, it was rather close. Shouting for the men to grab their weapons again, watch the street and wait for her command as for what to do next, she sprinted towards the sounds of gunfire.

And just as quickly the relief had come, it was suddenly gone again when she realized what happened.

Yes, batarians had probably noticed the Alliance reinforcements.

Yes, they had retreated from her post. But they hadn't run away. They simply all focused on one post, one single way to the colony. Keith, Hoch and their team were so busy staying alive, they didn't have time to call for a help. So Shepard shouted a quick order to her own soldiers, to get their asses over there ASAP, through the comm and sent the incinerate orb randomly into the middle of the crowd.

Chris looked up from his weapon and locked his eyes with her for a moment. Both Shepard's and his suddenly widened when his body jerked back, half-spun and fell on the ground. A loud cheer sounded from the great mass of batarians flooding the street; victory shout, at taking down one of the elite, that somehow managed to drown any other sound.

Shepard was at Chris's side before she realized she'd even stepped out. She'd grabbed him and hauled him behind cover, getting a few shots herself. Fortunately, her kinetic barrier still held. Feeling on the verge of throwing up, she quickly scanned his wound – a shot wound on his neck, that on the one hand didn't kill him immediately, but on the other hand caused a massive bleeding that would eventually kill him. His blood was everywhere and she wanted nothing more than to turn around, close her eyes and ignore the whole scene, the way his eyes stared at her and his hands twitched at his sides. But she couldn't afford that luxury now.

She knew there was a pressure point somewhere where his neck met the body, near the collarbone, which she could use to stop the bleeding, but she was too panicked to actually find it. Instead, her hand acted on its own accord when it sunk into the wound, plugging the hole before he bled out. The sudden warmth of Keith's blood made her gag. She turned her head away from him, but she managed to keep everything down with a fervent thought: _Not with a helmet on, not with a helmet on!_

Keith's hand touched her arm lightly. She focused on him again and found Keith's eyes searching her face questioningly as if asking: I'm a goner, aren't I? His breathing was quick and shallow.

Another pitch black armour kneeled next to Keith and Nat's white face turned to her. His expression was clear – according to him they both were watching a dead man.

"No!" she practically screamed at him. "He's not dead!"

"Shepard, he..."

"...needs to be taken to hospital! We're not losing him! Go butcher those bastards and send me someone to help carry him. My Mako is on the way, we'll use it as a transport, but someone needs to get him on it!" she shouted, her voice hoarse with both tears and thirst. As Nat nodded and hurried to get someone, she looked at Keith and tried to smile. "You're not dying on my watch, Chris, don't worry," she whispered. She didn't know if he heard her or not, but his hand on her arm tightened for a second, and slid down, resting on top of her hand. It was trembling.

Forgetting all her sores and hurts, Shepard trotted along the four soldiers that carefully moved Chris to the Mako and hoisted him up on it. One of them – Alan – had stayed with her, while the rest joined the fight again. Shepard never broke eye contact with Keith until he finally lost consciousness, which was probably better for him.

As much as she wanted to stay and make sure he was alright, both she and Alan had to return to help the rest. They just jumped on the Mako again when another, more powerful blast shook the whole colony. They had managed to catch a glimpse of a fighter, burning and smoking as it had gotten hit, crashing right into the place of a resistance. A place where every single remaining soldier was fighting to keep the colony safe. Fire rose to the sky and a massive column of smoke, as black as her bloodied armour, curled up like a large "all clear" signal to all batarians. Without its defenders the colony was theirs.

* * *

Oopsie...a cliffhanger? Is it possible? Nah... :D You all know how it will end, anyway ;)

Thanks for reading, guys ;) And thanks, **Yennefferd**, for your help with correcting the ugly typo I made in the last chapter. I've even learned from it, see? I didn't rename Elysium's sun again :)


	21. We are not dead yet!

Dislcaimer: I don't own ME

* * *

His heavy steps echoed through the mostly empty ship. Everyone capable was down on the planet, only the lousy coward of a batarian had stayed in safety the ship offered. And Elanos had simply decided to follow his example. After all – the colony was theirs.

Actually, he didn't know what the situation was, but at the time his ship had taken off, the fighter loaded with explosives was about to crash into all of Elysium defences. That was a victory in his book. There was no need for him to stay down there anymore. And he couldn't wait to tell the alien it was his doing that managed it.

"Balak, friend, I've got a great news for you," he announced as he entered the snake's quarters.

...

If a lightning suddenly struck Shepard now, she wouldn't have noticed. Her attention, her whole being, was focused on the dark smoke rising high into the cloudless sky, mocking her and all the efforts they had made to save this colony.

"Goddamned..." the soldier by her side let out a long breath. "We're dead..."

As if in a dream, Shepard slowly lifted her hand to her helmet and opened a comm channel. "Hoch?" she asked in a weak voice. "Nat? J-Jimmi? Do you read me?" They couldn't. And she knew it. They were dead. And it was just a matter of time before she and Alan and every other citizen and visitor of Elysium would die as well. Just like Mindoir, this colony would be a graveyard by the time their reinforcements would finally arrive. Abandoned, slaughtered, and burnt down. Dead.

_No..._ She frowned. _This isn't Mindoir. And you're no helpless teenage girl_...she though, remembering what Chris had told her when the hell had begun. _And most importantly, we are _not_ dead yet!_

The snap was almost audible as she whirled to face Alan, frowning, anger building up inside her so violently that she could barely keep her voice from shaking. "We need help. A lot of it. Did Elysium have some spare guns or were all of them used in the battle?"

"What?"

"An hour," she hissed through her clenched teeth. "One fucking hour and the help is here. We simply _must_ hold on until then. Go get weapons. As many as you can. I'll talk to people. We need them."

"Maya…"

"That was an order! Bring anything, even pistols will do. We don't have to kill them, but at least shoot at them to keep them away from us!"

At that, Alan slammed his heels together. "Aye, aye, ma'am," he shouted and was gone. She turned to the Mako's driver who had exited the vehicle in the meantime. The slim man was as white as a sheet of paper while he stared at the place they had been just minutes ago. She grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. "There should be four other vehicles guarding flanks of the colony," she said briskly. "Contact them and tell them to get here and quickly. In the meantime," she paused and pointed at the large, splendid square around them. Buildings around it were made of a strangely beautiful combination of glass, steel and concrete. Large, rounded buildings stood next to shorter ones with many balconies, offering the breathtaking view of the colony. "They will come from over there, heading to us. I want you to block all the ways from the square safe for this one so that they couldn't simply walk around. Am I clear? Shoot down the buildings, let the ruins bury the streets. Do anything in your power. We _mustn'_t let them get deeper into the colony."

"Y-yes…" he stuttered and quickly turned to the vehicle again, squeezing trough the entrance.

And she turned on her heel. She had her work, too. She headed back into the hospital, hoping for just a tiny stroke of luck. And she couldn't recognize the place. When she'd left it, it had been busy, swarming with people in white clothes. But now it was still as if a bomb had exploded here, too. "Is there a way to address people in the bunker….or wherever they are?" she asked into the silence, her eyes trailing from one terrified face to another. She lifted her chin, trying to radiate determination. She needed them to _believe_ there was a chance, even though she had a lot of doubts, too. As long as they believed, they would keep fighting.

There were a few hesitant nods. "We have means to reach them," a nurse standing not far from Shepard chimed weakly. She was short, had long, blond hair, now in firm high ponytail. There was a blood on her cheek and clothes.

"Patch me through," Shepard ordered before she could change her mind. What the hell was she supposed to say? That they were screwed? Already dead? The sad part was that she had to say exactly this. But she had to make it sound like they still had a chance.

...

"This is Lieutenant Shepard, the Alliance Special forces," there was a short pause. "I'm not going to lie to you now. The situation is dire. For two hours we managed to keep the invading force at bay, but eventually fell for a trap, that wiped out most of Elysium's defences. However, the battle is not over yet. Our side isn't the only one with heavy casualties. Their own people have been sacrificed, too, which indicates one thing – they are desperate. They are desperate because our ships are coming. Within an hour, this place is going to host majority of the Fifth fleet, and they know it. They are fed up with us and angry and therefore more prone to make a mistake. Mistake we can use to our advantage." Another pause. "In short, we still have a chance to save this colony, or I'll be damned. We're already fighting again, barricading the square as best as we can, to delay those animals for one stupid hour. But to be saved, this colony, Elysium, first needs you to buy it this hour. We still have weapons, we still have artillery and we still have a chance. But we're lacking number." This time the silence was much longer. "Six years ago my colony fell, because its people were too afraid and unable to fight for it. Had we done it, or at least tried, Mindoir might have been saved. Just like Elysium still can be saved. But it needs you. No, look around. Those people standing next to you, around you, those too helpless to make the difference – they need you. And so do I. Shepard out."

"What you've just heard was the short record that has been published on the extranet and at the moments provides the only information about what's happening on Elysium. At this point…" the TV reporter went on and on, but John's suddenly couldn't hear it. His mind slowly processed what the reporter had just said and came to the conclusion: there weren't much Special-forces-Shepards running around this galaxy, who also happened to have the same unique, rich voice like his sister.

He was only vaguely aware of Lena's hand crushing his shoulder as they both stared at the screen, speechless. And he wasn't sure what to feel. Mostly fear. Then anger. Hatred aimed at the fucking aliens and the person that had drove her into going to Elysium at the first place. If anything happened to Maya, David was a dead man, damned be the consequences.

...

The room was dark and except for the quiet voice of the TV reporter babbling about Elysium, and nothing disturbed the quiet and peaceful atmosphere.

Or maybe not so peaceful. On the one hand, Rebecca felt incredibly sorry for Elysium. She hated batarians with every fibre of her body. She didn't want them to take this colony like they had taken Mindoir. But still, the prospect of _every single one_ dying there still brought a ghost of a smile to her lips. She'd die, too. And that would only be fair – a life for a life.

"Good riddance," she breathed out, her lips still perked up into a sick grimace of a smirk, white smoke escaping through her lips as she said those two words. She brought the cigarette to her mouth again and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes with pleasure. "Good riddance, huh, Dad?"

...

The situation was crazy. The Mako vehicles had already taken care of the square, turning its beauty into ruins, and now the place was occasionally filled with barking of their machine guns. From time to time the enemy answered with a fire of their own, but they didn't charge. None of the pirates were so keen on actually crossing the square and Shepard understood why. After all, five large armoured monsters standing side by side, with all their arsenal aimed at you and ready to send you to the other side, were quite a sight.

Of course, they couldn't know all five of them were dangerously low on ammo. Stones had decided to leave only a fraction of it in the Makos guarding the sides of the colony. Just like Shepard, he hadn't thought batarians would actually try to flank them, and so he gave the ammunition to other vehicles that had been used in the real fight.

As she approached the line, she pounded on each of the vehicles with her fist to get the drivers out. "Listen," she said quickly just as they stood in front of her. "When colonists come, I want each of you to take three of them and teach them how to shoot this thing," she rested her palm on the Mako's wheel next to her. "They will be safe inside, and I will need all of you – trained soldiers – during the battle by my side," she barked quickly.

"Three?" one of them asked.

"We need someone to shoot the machine gun, to man the cannon and to load," she counted on her fingers. She knew shooting the Mako was easy, at least in comparison with driving it. But she knew only practice made perfect – there was no way a civilian could manage to do all three activities like a seasoned soldier, who had spent hours driving those things.

Her comm crackled. _"May, I got some weapons. Not the-state-of-the-art, but they will do."_

"Great. I'll send you a Mako. Load as much as you can in it and be quick about it," she ordered and gave one of the drivers a meaningful look. "On my way," he mumbled and got in the vehicle again. It roared loudly and Shepard nearly jumped when the driver activated its thrusters to turn it around on the spot. She had always admired those who could do it – she knew from personal experience it looked way easier than it really was. She also knew turning it on its wheel once the vehicle stood on its roof was a pain in the ass, too.

_"Roger that. And May…your parents would be so proud of you."_

"Don't think so, but thanks," she disagreed with him. The memory of her parents brought a sad expression to her face and she sighed heavily. Her eyes turned to the other side of the square. From the distance they looked almost harmless the way they were sheepishly peeking out of their covers and quickly hiding again. It reminded her of a game where you had nine holes, a few creepy crawlers peeking out occasionally and you had to hit them with a hammer.

Then she heard a voice behind her. "Lieutenant Shepard?" a man asked and she turned around. The group behind her wasn't as large as she had hoped, but it would do. Her eyes focused on the man closest to her. "Thank you for coming," she said softly and only then she realized how amazing it was that she didn't have to shout in order to be heard over shooting and explosions. "I wasn't joking when I said you would make the difference."

"That's what we thought. So...what do you need us to do?"

She took a breath and started giving them instructions. They were here to provide support fire. In no circumstances they were allowed to press forward from the position she would set them, nor should they play a hero. The hardest work, front line, was up to her and the rest of the soldiers, who had kinetic barriers, better equipment in general and a lot more experience.

The colonists looked scared, but when Alan arrived and gave them weapons – light or heavy pistols, mostly – they seemed to take a slight comfort from them. Shepard knew that feeling. Wielding a weapon made you feel safer. In truth, however, as she had experienced firsthand, it only made you a target.

While Alan was busy arming the colonists, Shepard picked fifteen of them and sent them to drivers to put them through a little crash course. That was a little bit problematic. Of five vehicles they had one was full of weapons and they need at least another one to keep firing at those damned beasts. That meant fifteen people – eighteen with drivers – had to squeeze inside three vehicles made for four-member team tops. It was a challenge Shepard thought they would never pull off and did a double take when they did.

When everyone was armed, and the crews were in the relative safety of a several centimetres thick armour the action could begin. Knowing they were on brink of running out of ammo, she ordered the crews to stop shooting unless the enemy got too close. The colony fell into uneasy silence as both sides waited for the other to make the first move.

_"What the hell are they waiting for?"_ someone spoke on the comm. She didn't know all the drivers, so she couldn't tell which one of them it was. But she agreed with whoever it was. Batarian line apparently wasn't sure what to expect from the Alliance when they had stopped shooting. Maybe they suspected it might be a trap, or at least Shepard hoped they would. They needed time and every second when batarians were hesitating was precious. So she didn't complain about her sore knees and ankles from being still so long in crouched position and tried to shift. But after some time even she grew restless.

"Crews?" she called the colonists inside the large monsters. "Search the sky, shoot down anything that moves up there." She had a really bad feeling about it. They'd had to figure out by now the Alliance really didn't have anything up their sleeve.

"Shit...!" she swore when she finally understood.

"They have our own vehicles!" someone reflected when two Mako vehicles rushed in full speed into the square. "Two, three, four, forget the sky. Destroy the APCs! One, five, keep turrets up!" she shouted. A familiar whistling crossed the square and then several explosions rocked it. Shepard didn't have time to observe what had happened. The Mako she'd been hiding behind got a straight hit. Although the armour protected her from the worst of the blast, she could feel the incredible heat and when she sucked in the air, it burnt painfully and made her cough. The Mako, designed to be way lighter than the older M-29s, was lifted in the air, missing Shepard's head by a hair as it landed heavily behind her, on its roof. Dazed by the lack of oxygen, with loud bells ringing in her ears, she had no idea where she was. And she didn't have to time to recover.

A sharp pain shot up and down her right arm. She grunted and instinctively covered the spot with her other hand. Her clouded mind brought up a barrier and she felt a dull impact on her stomach. Then another, and another. She fought to get to her feet, but with each hit she just felt weaker and weaker and she stumbled.

A firm hand grasped her good arm and she was yanked up and forward. She felt something painfully scratch her side and suddenly she was sitting on the ground, her back leaning against something.

"Damn…" she hissed when she looked at her left palm. There was a fresh blood on it.

Someone touched her side and she looked down. "Just a scratch," she whispered and let out a long breath. For a moment she'd been afraid it was far worse, like something that could prevent her from fighting on. She couldn't afford to leave the battlefield and she knew it.

She allowed Alan to put some medigel on her arm, soothing the acute pain. "You okay?" he asked her loud enough for her to hear his voice above the faint ringing in her ears. Or maybe he was trying to shout down all the firing.

"Did the Mako hit anyone?" she asked instead of answering.

"Fortunately not."

"The crew?"

"Battered and bruised, but fine. But I doubt they know how to turn the Mako back o..." his voice was drowned in another loud explosion as a rocket hit the building next to them. Instinctively, Alan leaned over Shepard, protecting her from the falling debris. As an answer, their own vehicles returned the favour.

"Enemies down!" someone shouted. Alan rested his hand shortly on Shepard's shoulder, then leaned from the cover and started shooting. Shepard looked around, but realized she must have dropped the Mattock when she'd been hit.

So she reached to her hip and used her left hand to grasp the M-5 Phalanx with which she'd equipped back in the hotel room a thousand years ago. The last time she shot with her left hand had been when she was sixteen and Kyle took her to the shooting range for the first time. Even though she could use her hands equally well all her life, after so long of preferring right hand while shooting the pistol it simply felt uncomfortable in her left hand. But beggars can't be choosers. It had to do.

She glanced at her arm. The medigel had been enough to stop the bleeding. For now.

With a grunt and determined expression on her face, she leaned out of the cover she'd been hiding behind and aimed. Phalanx didn't have so strong punch as Mattock, but it still was more efficient them the guns colonists had been equipped with.

Ignoring the pain she used the right hand to reach for her omnitool and activated it. She switched from the explosive drone to offensive one, and summed it to help them. The dark blue sphere floated in front of her face for a second, its layers whirling and then darted forward in jerky movement, letting out a brightly blue orb. The overload didn't even hit the batarians yet, when the drone started shooting, zigzagging its way across the square. And just as it got enough hits and despawned, Shepard spawned it again.

They tried as hard as they could, but there was simply too many of them. Slowly, batarians pushed their way across the square and the artillery had to join the battle, too. It helped for moment, but when the Alliance started taking the upper hand again, one by one the crews reported "out of ammo".

"Get from those things and to safety!" Shepard ordered them and, knowing new and unarmed targets would attract bullets, barked out: "Suppressive fire once they're outside!" At her command, they all leaned from behind covers and started shooting. Only a minority of the bullets found a body to sink in, but that wasn't the point. They needed to force the enemy into cover, and so they did. But once they stopped, the tide was on move again, ever so slowly creeping closer and closer. More and more often she winced when she heard someone cry out in pain. She ignored her own throbbing arm and side and focused only on the sights of her Phalanx and on the moving targets. But even a blind man could see they were losing it. Badly.

And then, as if the situation wasn't bad enough, a tiny spot of a red light flashed across her pistol and then it blinded her. She managed to duck just as a bullet whistled over her head. "Sniper on the left!" she shouted, checking Phalanx' thermometer. A soldier right next to her ducked so quickly he banged his head painfully against the rubble, and collapsed on the ground. She quickly crawled to him to check for any wounds he had caused himself, pulling him into her lap. And she froze as she realized two things. First, the soldier was Alan. And second, he hadn't dropped to cover, he dropped dead. A single crimson bloom shone on the side of his head. He'd caught _her_ bullet when _she_'d dodged it.

The desire to have one last rocket so that she could load the Mako's turret and shoot it the direction of the SOB was indescribable. Alan had survived Mindoir despite the odds. He'd been close to surviving Elysium, too. But here he was, dead in her arms, his eyes staring at the blue sky. There was a trace of confusion in them and she couldn't bear the sight any longer. Gently she took his helmet off and closed his eyes, then just as carefully laid the body on the ground next to her, as if Alan was just sleeping and she was worried to wake him up.

She lifted her head and spotted the red laser flickering across the Mako next to her. Her men were all covering from the sniper's reach, and she could hear the heavy steps as batarians ran to them. They didn't even bother to shoot anymore, they just ran, roaring and screaming their victory like mindless animals. The colonists were mostly gone, had been injured, a few of them killed, and the handful still remaining simply weren't enough to hold the mass. That was the hard, painful truth and she finally admitted it.

Elysium was lost.

The only thing remaining was taking down as many of them as they could. As she could. She swallowed heavily and for the last time in her life she concentrated. The dark matter next to her was moving, moving the air around her soundlessly, gathering around her. Her muscles were aching and her hands were shaking. Through her closed eyelids she could see the bright, blue and white light of a biotic energy, and she suddenly remembered the first and last moment when she'd seen it – when Kaidan had kissed her all those years ago. A soft smile found its way to her lips at the memory, but it was quickly gone. She clenched her teeth and fought with her own body. And when she had enough, when she couldn't hold it any longer she sprung to her feet and sent it all towards her enemies. Only a couple of meters parted the two groups when the wave of energy hit them and tossed them back. Crackles as bones broke and shattered penetrated her tired mind and sent a wave of sick pleasure down her spine. Her knees buckled and she fell to the ground again, only her arms stopped her from hitting her head. She heard a shout of pain, and only belatedly realized it was her own, as she put a weight on the injured arm. She could feel the wound had reopened and was bleeding again.

But it didn't matter anymore. She wouldn't have the time to bleed out anyway.

Her whole body was shaking. She was breathing heavily and fighting the blackness at the edge of her vision. She moved her injured arm slowly and with every motion the blood was pumped from the wound. It was running down her arm, dropping from her elbow as she reached to take of her helmet off in the desperate need for more oxygen. Once a cool morning air touched her hot cheeks she collapsed on the ground, laughing emptily at her foolish behaviour. She was fighting to stay conscious, while blacking out would be much more merciful. Not to mention there simply was no point in keeping up the struggle. They lost. Every second they would be slaughtered.

She even heard the firing again. The batarians had undoubtedly reached them and were executing the few that had survived. One by one. Like cattle. Did the batarians even know what cattle was?

More firing. People were screaming and she could once again hear loud roaring in her ears.

And then it was back. The voice of reason that seemed to take over her brain when she needed it most. It protested, loudly and fiercely. She was the one closest to the batarians. So, logically, she would be the first one to die. So why on earth hadn't they already put a bullet into her head?

She blinked. And at the moment a shadow flashed over her. A dark, large and incredibly _fast_ shadow. She shifted, turning so that she could see what was happening and saw the most beautiful sight ever.

Dozens ships clouded the sky. Some of them were so close she could see the Alliance emblem on the hulks. And they all were firing down at those mindless beasts, riddling them with bullets, driving them back.

She blinked once more as if she couldn't believe it. She waited for them to vanish, because the just had to be a product of her tired mind. She took a breath, then another and she smiled. The ships were still here. She closed her eyes blissfully, and listened to the sound of the ships' canons firing, to screams and shrieks, dying moans. Even on the verge of losing consciousness she never felt more alive.

She wanted to laugh, she wanted to scream, she wanted to cry and she wanted to sleep. She also so desperately needed to eat and drink. Medical attention to her wounded arm sounded good, too, and the back of her head was throbbing as well. Of course. She'd been hit with a gun, after all.

But she'd pushed all those needs away and just listened, realizing she'd just been born a second time, and spent quite some time trying to remember what date it was. She found it funny how her mind worked at the moment. And she was fed up with the fact that all she could remember was the year - 2176.

She felt someone touch her gently and she was rolled on her back. She opened her eyes and saw one of the colonists above her. His face was pale and dirty. Sweat had run down his forehead and cheeks, making white paths as it washed down the dust. He looked tired, but he was smiling like crazy. "You okay, Lieutenant?" he asked

She wetted her dry lips and nodded. "Never better."

Another head appeared above her. It was just as sweaty and dirty, and in addition it had been splattered with blood. "You saved us."

"You saved yourself," she disagreed silently and made a move to stand up. Both men grasped her shoulders and helped her up, already examining the wound. Shepard had to admit it looked worse than it felt.

"We wouldn't have even left the bunker if you hadn't asked us to," the second man objected. "Come, you need a doctor," he said and pulled her to her feet as if she weighted nothing. With his hand around her shoulders to steady her, he led her towards the hospital. It wasn't far, but they walked slowly, and she had time to look around. More and more ships were coming. Lasers where showering the square, shining brighter than shooting stars. Some of them chased after the pirates who were trying to escape in their own ship, but together with the still functioning AA towers, none managed to get very far. And she liked the sight of burning debris.

She was aware the man supporting her was talking to her, though he apparently didn't require her saying anything. The first time spoke to him was in the hospital corridor, where she spotted a vending machine. "Energy…" she begged, her eyes lingering on one of the chocolate bars with caramel. She hated caramel, the way it stuck to the teeth, but she would _kill_ to have one of those now. John was far better at this than her. He always had a protein bar or something of the sort hid on him somewhere.

Come to think of it, she did have one, too. But she'd left it in the sport bag in her hotel room.

Before she knew it, she was munching the bar happily, as they slowly walked down the corridor, with always growing crowd around them. They all were shouting one over the other, thanking her, but she didn't understand. She hadn't done anything. Actually, they all would have been dead by now if not for the ships. She'd simply fought alongside her comrades, until they had been killed, and then alongside the daring colonists. Yes, she had shouted a few orders, but only because she was the first one to snap from the shock. And she had been probably the highest ranking officer on the whole planet, too. No, wait, there had been Chris.

Chris. If he hadn't been hurt and she hadn't tried to save him and hadn't had to leave the battlefield with him…

But, for some reason, everyone saw things a little bit differently. She didn't care. She felt numb as they helped her out of her armour and took it away. "I would like to have it back…" she only called after them weakly. Now when the adrenalin was all but gone from her bloodstream she could feel how exhausted she was. Her every muscle hurt and the pain at the back of her head was almost blinding. For a second she had been afraid something had happened to the amp jack, but a quick inspection with her fingers had reassured her that it was fine. The hit landed just above it and for the next few days – or maybe weeks – she would have a large, sensitive bump.

The positive thing about the head – the pain made her forget the arm. Until she took a shower. They hadn't wanted her to take a shower, but she had instead on it so stubbornly, that they had let her, so she simply clenched her teeth to make sure she wouldn't make any sounds about it, and tried to focus on the way the hot water soothed her sore muscles. But she felt even more tired after it, as if the water didn't only take all the blood, dust and sweat from her, but her remaining strength as well. And when they gave her a new, fresh clothes that smelled of some flower – which was a welcome change after smelling blood and smoke for so long – she had a hard time trying not to fall asleep as she waited for the doctor. Her eyes kept closing on their own accord and several times she almost nodded off, when a jerky motion of her head falling on her chest woke her up.

Finally, the door opened and her doctor walked in. He was as tall as her, had short white hair and greying beard. His eyes were grey, too, and just like everyone else he looked tired. His face was wrinkled, indicated his old age, but his step as he approached her was vigorous.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her, smiling softly, as he examined her arm.

"Fine, doctor Nova," she mumbled, eyeing his name tag.

"But of course," he nodded. "You soldiers are always the most difficult patients."

She wanted to say something funny and witty, but all she could manage was: "Ah…yeah." She watched him work on the wound, cleaning it properly, than gingerly wrapping it up. He seemed fully taken in the work, and despite the exhaustion written all over his face, his hands were still, his fingers gentle. He made extra sure he wouldn't squeeze her arm too tightly, trying not to touch either of the many bruises that adorned her skin now. She smiled softly, an image of an European fire salamander in her mind.

"How old are you?" he finally asked as her reached out for a medical tape to fix the end of the bandage.

She blinked twice, her tired mind slowly processing his question. "Why?"

Nova, now finished with her arm, looked at her closely. "You had to be very young when Mindoir occurred." His eyes were searching her face so intensively she turned her head away from him and focused on the floor. Bloody imprints of someone's soles were on it. The colour was already dark red, almost brownish.

"It was long ago, yeah," she agreed with him, her eyes tracing all the blood. So much of it had been spilled today. And yet, here she was. Alive, chatting with doctor Nova as if nothing ever happened.

Soft fingers touched her under her chin and her head was tilted back to look at the old man. "I can tell a fool's errand when I see it. We all thought we were dead. But then you stormed in and saved the day."

She took a slow breath and turned her eyes back to him. "I'm a marine. It's my duty to protect you. Or die trying."Her voice was shaking a little bit. She was thirsty, too.

She was taken aback when he touched her cheek lightly. "You're very brave."

"Or maybe just…too stubborn to be afraid of anything," she gave him an empty smile as she recalled Chris' words. Then the smile froze on her lips. "Doctor, is Ch…I mean…the marine they brought an hour ago."

"They brought a lot of them," the doctor answered. "But if you're talking about the one in the same black armour you wore," he took a pause to smile at her. "He was very angry with us that we kept him here after plugging the hole in his neck. He didn't realize once the pain medication would wear off, the wound would be very painful."

"So he's alive?"

"Thanks to you and your prompt reaction. Do you want to see him?"

"Is it possible?" Now she was breathless.

The doctor nodded. "Just make sure he stays horizontal."

"Aye, aye," she answered and hopped of the table with a renewed energy. But as she was closer and closer to the door the doctor had pointed at, she was getting hesitant. Keith didn't know what had happened after he'd been shot. She would have to tell him. She didn't want to tell him. Not because of him, but she simply wanted to forget it. Just like she had wanted to forget Mindoir, and had failed.

_All of them…dead,_ she thought grimly when she – just in case – knocked gently on the door and opened it, walking inside.

Chris was pale. He lay stripped to his waist on the bed, facing the ceiling. But when she entered, he looked at her and smiled brightly, his eyes scanning her from head to toe. He noticed her hair was wet. "Here comes the hero of the day," he whispered. "Nice speech."

She blinked. "What speech?"

"The recruitment one," he explained, still talking quietly. She had to approach his bed to hear him better. And to make it easier for him to see her – he hadn't moved his head so he'd been watching her only from the corner of his eye. "It's all over the extranet. One of the colonists had recorded it and put it there. A nurse replayed it for me. You're famous."

She closed her eyes and grimaced, pressing fingers into her eyes. She shook her head slowly, taking a breath. She froze when she felt a touch on her hand. Chris' warm hand curled gingerly around her fingers. "May…" She opened her eyes and he let go of her. "Is something wrong?"

"Wrong?" she repeated and sighed. Slowly, she moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "I just…I'm just…I don't know," she shrugged, making a helpless gesture with her good arm. "Shouldn't I feel happy? I think I should, but I…I think I'm starting to feel the…how do they call it? Survivor guilt?"

"Survivor guilt?" he asked after a moment of hesitation. "Because of what happened to the others? In the speech," he started explaining after she paid him a confused look, "you were quite clear about…the trap. What was it exactly?"

She hung her head, saddening significantly. "They lured us all into one place and then sent a fighter to crash there. Though it had be loaded with…something, because a single fighter couldn't explode that much," she said quietly, never meeting his eyes. "So…I guess thank you for saving my life is in order."

"Anytime. Just next time let's skip the bullet-in-the-neck part. Wasn't very pleasant. I see you got shot, too."

She looked at her bandaged arm. "Yeah. What a battle it would be if I didn't have something to remember it by. Though I wish I could forget it. It was a slaughter. So many dead…"

"But you won. You held off about million batarians on your own, standing your ground."

The praise didn't work the way he had intended, because she looked even grimmer than before. "Chris…" her voice was strangely tight as if she had troubles controlling her emotions. "I didn't stand my ground. I…gave up. If the fleet arrived a minute later…" she shook her head and covered her face with her hand. So much for the promise not to look weak in front of anyone.

Keith frowned and tentatively reached out to touch her. His fingers closed around her right hand and lifted if off her lap. He watched it, turning it gently around as if it was the most interesting object he'd ever seen. "You were alone out there, desperately outnumbered and the chances were, let's be honest, next to impossible. You gave up at the end, so what? The outcome is important. And you held them long enough, longer than many other people would, because you are…" he paused and chuckled silently, drawing her attention at him. "Because you are so damn stubborn even to die."

"Just so damn lucky, I guess."

"Stubborn," he repeated. "Did you really stick your hand into my neck? I don't remember it, but Rachel…the blonde nurse…she told me what you did," he paused for a moment. "Thanks for playing a stopper for me."

Finally, she laughed softly and she looked surprised at how genuine it sounded. Before she could say anything, something caught Chris' attention. "Eyes front, Shepard. We've got a visitor. Hey, maybe he's here to give you a medal. I would love to see you in dress blue wearing skirt and high heels."

She lifted her eyebrows at him. "Don't you know I can wear trousers, too?"

"So cruel…" he murmured as she stood up and headed to the door.

"Stop watching my butt, I can see you in the glass," she said softly, pointing at the reflection in the glassy wall and Chris started laughing, then it turned into hissing as his wound hurt.

...

"Spying on them, are you, Rachel?" Nova asked softly and approached the youngest of all his nurses. She'd been sent here on a practice a few weeks ago, and even though she wasn't done with her school, she kept up the pace with others quite well.

The delicate blond turned her head to him. "Just watching, doctor," she smiled, her blue eyes sparkling merrily. There was a smear of blood on her face, but she either didn't know or care.

They both turned towards the room occupied by the commander now. Shepard just sat down on the bed, looking strangely sad and he touched her hand gingerly. Rachel smiled. "They look like they are more than just comrades."

"Situations like this tend to bring people together. However, I think they are just very good friends."

"She was terrified he might die when she brought him…with her hand in the wound to stop the bleeding. How many people would do that?"

"I don't know, Rachel. But I'm sure we will hear about this one again. She's remarkable at what she's doing. Not many would be so brave to face off so many enemies virtually on her own."

Rachel bit her lip and turned at him with questions in her eyes. "You think she is somehow related to John Shepard? I know he has a sister, but he always kept her away from cameras," she mused and as she turned back to watch the two marines, she added: "If not, I think she is what John Shepard's sister should be like anyway."

"Oh, but she is…" a deep voice answered. She jumped, startled, at a new person joining their conversation.

A man, probably in his early forties or late thirties, clad in the Alliance dress blue uniform stood next to the doctor, his hands behind his back. He had serious eyes and and his wrinkled face looked purely professional and he had this air of authority around him. Despite not being that old at all, his hair and short beard were gray. "Some things simply run in the family," he added and a gentle smiled crossed his face for a second. It was gone so quickly Rachel suddenly doubted if it had been a smile at all. "Admiral Steve Hackett," the man finally introduced himself and shook a hand with Rachel first, then Nova.

"You arrived with the Fifth fleet, I assume," Nova suspected immediately and the admiral nodded once, his eyes on the two marines. And exactly at this moment, the redhead marine lifted her head and their eyes locked for a second. The commander said something and she looked amused at whatever it was. Her response was short as she stood up and it made him laugh heartily, his hand shot to the wound on his neck and his face was twisted in pain.

In two slow steps she crossed the small room and opened the door, straightening as she walked out and closed it behind her again. She looked tired and moved warily as if she was in pain, but despite it all she gave him the same majestic impression as her brother. And Hackett got the feeling if she was now told to, once again, plunge into action, she wouldn't say no.

She approached them and nodded to him. "Admiral."

"I was told you are the reason this colony is still standing, Lieutenant."

She didn't bat an eyelash. "With all due respect, I'm afraid you've been mislead, Admiral. It wasn't just me fighting this battle. Without many soldiers who laid their lives for Elysium and the colonists, I doubt we would have lasted. Many of them are being treated in this hospital as we speak," she informed him. Apparently she'd already investigated fates of the men that had fought by her side and that made him smile. However, it was the part where she mentioned the colonists that sparkled his interest. "Now I'm even more eager to read your report, Lieutenant."

"Report?" she repeated in a surprised voice as if only now she realized it would be up to her to write it. "But I've never…!" she started saying, but caught herself before finishing. She sighed with resignation. "Yes, sir."

Hackett smiled again. Just like her brother.

...

"When you hear the name "Lieutenant Shepard" the first thing to come to your mind is probably the Earth's biotic hero John Shepard. However today I have completely different Lieutenant Shepard on my mind. Second Lieutenant Maya Zoe Shepard, John's such overly protected younger sister, has showed that heroism runs in this family. Only thanks to bravery and courage of the young marine, fresh from the N7 training program, which highlights the uniqueness of this remarkable woman, has Elysium survived the major assault we've…"

"TV – off," the master growled and the room felt silent. Slave trembled, her wide eyes staring into darkness when the TV went dark. "That incompetent worm..." an icy cool voice punctuated the quiet, dripping venom. Then Slave heard a soft click. "Set a course for Torfan. It's time to stay low for a while. Slave!"

"Yes, master?" she forced herself to speak as usually, to suppress the sudden joy that threatened to make her smile. She thought she had forgotten how to smile, but here it was. The tugging at the corners of her lips. The lightness in her stomach. She could breathe freely for the first time in six years.

"_Second Lieutenant Maya Zoe Shepard, John's such overly protected younger sister."_

This one sentence had brought much joy to her. Not only she knew her little girl was alive, but it told her that she and John had met again. And he had protected her, sheltered, like an elder brother should. Maybe…maybe he wasn't angry anymore.

"Get out."

Without a word she complied. And just as the door closed behind her, she was suddenly sure she wanted to see what her girl looked like now, all grown up. She had to be beautiful young woman now. Oh, the desire to go back and command the TV to turn back on in hope to see some footage of her little girl, some photo of her, was almost too strong.

She started walking down the long corridor, towards the stairs leading to lower decks where other slaves lived.

The last time the master took the ship to Torfan, they had stayed for a very long time. Months, at least, but it was difficult to tell. The whole complex was underground and she wasn't allowed to leave it. And back then it was short after Mindoir and counting days had been the last thing on her mind.

But now, it gave her an idea. It was dangerous, but encouraged by the sudden unexpected turn of events she was somehow confident it could work. But she needed to convince others to help her.

Both her children were marines. And she still remembered May's email address. But to pass anything on, she needed to get her hands on an omnitool. Any omnitool would do. And that was where she needed help.

* * *

To be continued. And I've got a great news everyone. At least it's great for me - the bachelor thesis is finally done. It's just waiting to be printed, so now I have a few weeks before the exams start free. I'm sure you all are just as happy with this as I am :)

Anyway, thank you all for reading and I hope you liked the chapter. I know this isn't how the battle of Elysium was supposed to occur (for example the SSV Avincourt was supposed to be be in the battle, not to join at the end, and so on and so on...), but it's my take on it.

By the way, Yen, your review saved Chris. I wanted to kill him, I really did, but I hated hurting your feelings :D


	22. Collecting courage

Dislaimer: I don't own ME.

* * *

Shepard was cold. She had goose prickles all over, cold feet and hands. She knew it was because she was incredibly tired, but couldn't bring herself to sleep. She was just too much of a coward for something like that.

She used to have nightmares after Mindoir, too, but back then she hadn't seen much of the actual butchery done there by the pirates. Elysium was different. And when she had tried to fall asleep, she was immediately reminded of what had occurred. The last thing she remembered before she woke up drenched in cold sweat was the kid. A boy she'd glimpsed in a hospital when she'd brought Chris in. He was badly hurt, but his young face seemed serene, his grey and blue eyes calm. As if he knew he was dying and was okay with it. But as concerned about Chris as she was, she forgot about him quickly. But he came back to her. In her dream, he was unharmed. He stood in front of her, his eyes full of accusations as if the whole attack was her fault, staring her down.

She didn't want to admit her fear by asking for meds to grant her dreamless sleep, but was too afraid to sleep to see the kid again. An impasse.

There was a soft knock on the door and it opened without her saying anything. Not that she was about to invite anyone behind it inside. She sat on the bed, her legs drawn to her chest, arms wrapped around them, a blanket over her shoulders. Her forehead rested on her knees and her eyes were closed.

"Hey, I was just heading to the mess and wondered if you weren't up for some food, too," cheerful voice rang though the silent room and she could feel the bed lower as Chris sat down on it. "I see you aren't." It came much more sombre. "You feeling okay?"

She lifted her head and her eyes slowly moved to the man next to her. "We're two hours from the Earth," she said quietly.

"Isn't it good news?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I don't want to be celebrated like a hero. I am not a hero."

"You are."

"I did nothing special, Chris. I just happened to survive, that's all. But everyone just insisted I saved them all. But you were there. You should know better," she frowned. "And this…this Star of Terra…that's just is super-stupid, if you ask me."

"You're still grumpy."

"They will ask questions," she went on as if she didn't hear him. "They will talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. I want to forget it. But I know I never will, because I never forgot Mindoir either."

Chris nodded once, scrutinizing the woman next to him. Only now he realized where all this came from. Of course. Mindoir. "So…" he took a slow breath. "You want to forget. That's why you're sitting here on your own, moping?"

Her eyes were sharp, when they bored into his. "Moping?" she practically growled and for a second Chris got startled he'd said something really stupid. But then she chuckled softly and shook her head, running her fingers through her hair. "I get it now. Chris, I told you. One-night stands are not my style."

That wasn't what he'd meant, but if it would help… "Yet you've never tried." He sounded innocent. "I understand, though. I felt like you once. But as a marine, it's almost impossible have serious relationships, as you know by now. Civilians don't understand what it means to serve humanity. And soldiers are…well…there are regs. And of course, there's the ever-lasting problem of a long distance relationship, that most people simply can't make work."

"I hear you."

He patted her knee and stood up. "I'd love to chat with you some more, but I'm really starving. See you later." And with that he left. She watched the door long after he was gone, thinking. Then she sprung to her feet.

...

The door finally slid open and Chris froze on the threshold with an apple on its way to his mouth, when he noticed the person waiting for him inside. "May?" he asked, confused, and let his arm fall to his side.

She had sat in a leather seat, but stood up when he entered and approached him. Wordlessly, she covered his hand with hers and brought the apple he held to her mouth to take a bite.

Chris' eyebrows rose. "Has your appetite finally returned?"

She swallowed and shrugged. "I just like apples," she said in a tone she could just as easily use to describe weather.

"Okay," Chris nodded and narrowed his eyes. "I don't think you've come to eat my food. So what do you need?"

Her response was immediate. "Have you called your ex-wife?"

He gave a snort. "Are you nuts? No, I haven't. The woman's a shrew. Didn't use to be like that, though. There were times she actually liked me."

"Are you going to call her?"

"Eh…nope? Why do you ask?" he shrugged and his hands cut through the air in a baffled gesture, palms up.

"Because I realized I don't want to sit in my quarters on my own, moping. And you need to realize you have the right to at least see your son." She said the first part rather quickly, but she slowed down when she talked about him.

Chris was silent for a moment, not really sure what to make of it. "What does give you the right to make decisions for me?" he asked eventually, folding his arms over his chest.

She smiled softly and reached for the apple peeking from beneath his arm. "It's not a decision. It's an advice," she said sweetly while freeing it from his fingers. Then she tossed the poor fruit on the seat she'd occupied. Chris' eyes followed it fly across the room and land in the seat with a silent thud. It then rolled off it and ended on the floor. She shrugged, when he frowned at her.

"Good for you. Because I've already made my decision."

"Good," she nodded and Chris glimpsed something strange in her eyes. Before he could figure out what it actually was, she added: "so have I," she added and without batting an eyelash, her hands cupped his face and she kissed fully on his mouth. She could feel it when he tensed at the unexpected touch. Then he spun them around and her back and head hit the wall just next to the still opened door. "That hurt…" she hissed.

"What the hell…Shepard?" he asked, sounding confused...and strangely expectant. His left arm was propped against the wall at the level of her head, the other moved to the panel and the door hissed, closing.

"The hell? It's frozen over, if you ask me," she frowned and moved her hand to massage the back of her head.

"Sorry for that," he mumbled and soon his fingers were tangled in her hair, too, gently touching the sore spot. She had quickly withdrawn her hand when he had reached out. "I though it wasn't your style."

"And since when is it an excuse to bump my head against a wall? And it isn't," she added more quietly. "I just…I've told you I know I'll never forget what has happened. But distracting, as temporary as it is, works the same like forgetting."

"Is this what I am to you? A distraction?" his voice was very soft.

"Nothing more," she mimicked his tone.

He bent down to kiss her, but she put a hand on his chest to stop him, turning her face away from him. "I mean it, Chris," she said, her eyes already closed. He was so close she could feel his breath against her cheek. "I'm not interested in a romance. No relationship. No emotions. Just you, me and the bed over there. No strings attached."

"Then we got a deal," he whispered and she finally let him close the distance.

...

John was surprised to find the door to her flat wide open, but when he took the first peek inside, the feeling turned into bitter realization of what was going on. The living room was half-packed. Shelves were half-empty, things were lying everywhere in both chaotic piles and neat columns, making her usually prissily tidy living room seem less spacious than it really was. John's shoulders dropped. She had been serious about moving on the Citadel.

"May?" he called, stepping in. When he didn't see her in the kitchen either, he called again. She didn't respond so he went on exploring her flat. He found her in the bedroom, sitting on the floor where, he assumed, a bed had been according to the traces on the carpet. She sat cross-legged with an empty terrarium on her lap, looking sadly at it, tracing her fingertips across it gingerly.

"Uh…hey," he said loudly, since she didn't seem to acknowledge him.

She flinched and jerked her head up to him. "Hey," she responded and sighed, grasping the terrarium in one hand and using the other to help her stand up. "Sorry. Memories. The terrarium has been empty for over four years, but I still miss my Ham."

John did a double take. "The hamster?"

She smiled. "Yeah. He got sick shortly after I left for the boot camp, David said, and the vet couldn't help him, saying he was old anyway. He wasn't old…I've checked. They can live up to three years, even more. Ham was two and I always took good care of him, cleaned his terrarium twice a week, bought the best food, went to the park to collect something green for him to eat, I talked to him, played with him, got him the wheel so that he could keep himself fit…he loved the wheel," she sighed and nonchalantly threw the terrarium into one of the boxes where it shattered loudly. "What?" she shrugged at his surprised face. "I loved Ham. Not the terrarium." And she went on pulling things from shelves and they mostly followed the former home of her beloved hamster.

"So are you really moving?"

She paused for a second, stopping in mid-motion, with her hand in the air. "No. The Earth's my home, now. I won't allow a bad experience ruin it for me."

John smiled at that. That was his sister. A fighter.

"I'm just…getting rid of things that could remind me of things I don't wish to be reminded of," she added dryly and finished the motion; she had reached to get a book. Now she looked at its spine and smiled softly. The book was once again placed on the shelf.

"So you're throwing your things away?" he asked her.

She bit her lip and stuck her thumbs behind the waistband of her jeans. "Not throwing away. Sorting out," she corrected him, finally turning her full attention to him.

"Sis," John shook his head and approached her, taking her by both hands. He led her out of the bedroom, through the obstacle course of her living room and sat her down on the sofa. She looked strange with her hair bound in a ponytail, especially when it was too short for it and the strands framing her face had escaped from it anyway. "So…talk to me."

She frowned and looked away from him. He caught her chin and tilted her head so that he could see her face again. "Okay…" he took a deep breath. "I'm going to ask, then. How do you like your new celebrity status?"

"I hate it."

"Welcome on board," he shrugged, taken a little bit aback by her sudden confession. He had noticed her reluctance at the ceremony where she'd been decorated with the Star of Terra a week ago, but he had simply assumed…well…not this. "How do you…"

"John," she cut him off impatiently, locking her large green eyes with his icy blue orbs. "Just tell me why you're here."

"I got the feeling as if Mindoir was back, you know? You don't talk much, you don't laugh much, you don't…"

"Okay, I get it, I don't do much a lot of things," she interrupted him again and sighed. She rested her elbows on her knees and buried her face into her palms. "John, I'm a mess and I just can't pretend I'm not. David, Kaidan, Elysium, the kid…and yeah, Mindoir's haunting me again, too…It's just too much to deal with at the moment."

"What kid?"

She shook her head.

"M-May...are you...?" he trailed off.

Maya slowly straightened and paid him a blank look. "I'm not Mary, John. Remember? N7 training? Last six months without sex?"

"If you're about to add any other exciting detail, stop. There are things I don't need to know about you. Oh...damn, my next question's going to sound weird after that, but...I was wondering about you and Kaidan."

She laughed emptily. "Don't worry. You won't have to kill your best friend. Nothing between us. I don't feel like having a relationship right now." Just like she'd told Chris.

As for him...they hadn't talked ever since the ceremony, but she had spent quite some time thinking about asking him to repeat their little escapade. It had felt perfect at the moment. With so many emotions storming inside her, Chris helped her to calm down even if it was for just a moment. Chris had been…just Chris. They'd been just two friends enjoying the benefit of each other's close company, and that was exactly what she needed.

But somehow she doubted it could have the same effect, now. No, it was better to leave things as they were.

"I wouldn't kill Kaidan and you know. At least I would know he'd never hurt you the way _he_ did." John had made a point of not saying David's name out loud.

When she didn't answer, he reached out and touched her face, putting some of the free strands behind her ear. The AR tattoo shone from her skin like a lighthouse in a moonless night. "Was it that bad?" he asked softly, hating that his sister looked like she was about to start crying. Because once she'd start…well…that would be a sign that things were really bad for her. His sister didn't cry. The only time he saw her cry was on their way back from the Citadel after Adam's failed attempt to sell her to Omega. And even back then it hadn't been about her. She'd been telling him about his mother reminiscing about him above an old picture of him and May.

"What would it be like for you if your whole squad died before your eyes? Tanya, Tan, Rick? Kaidan?" Although not as a good tech as Jereth had been once been, Kaidan was way better than John or any other squad member. He was also a pretty good biotic, and John knew him and knew he could trust him, which made him a perfect asset for his team. And when John requested someone, he usually got him. And so Kaidan had found himself in his team.

She looked at her hands in her lap then and her face was suddenly free of all the anxiety that had been there just a second ago. "Alan died there, too. Sniper aimed at me, and I ducked. He didn't see the laser, though. The bullet had my name on it, and it killed him."

Before she knew it, John pulled her in a tight embrace and she buried her face into his shoulder. He was afraid she now would really start crying, but her body was completely still.

To tell the truth, he didn't know who Alan was. But his death seemed to have serious impact on May, so whoever it was it had to be somebody important. She didn't leave him hanging there for long.

"He saved me back on Mindoir. And I couldn't save him on Elysium."

He moved to rest his chin on top of her head, but didn't say anything. He wasn't good with words. Kaidan was always better at this. Girls back in the brain camp had found John manly and protective, but Kaidan sweet and sensitive, and for good reasons.

"John?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks for stopping by."

"Always, sis. I'm here for you." _Since we don't have anyone else,_ he didn't add out loud, but somehow knew her thoughts followed his. "Why didn't you tell me about _him_, anyway? Why did you run?"

She stirred in his arms and he let go. She straightened and focused her eyes on the floor. "I don't know. I just…I hoped…I didn't…" After the third attempt to speak she sighed heavily, shaking her head. "I don't know," she simply repeated. "I didn't think. I didn't want to think. I just felt betrayed and humiliated and I didn't want you to know."

"I see."

"How can you? Katherine loved you. Lena loves you. Though David probably loved me, too, since he wanted to marry me," she stated in passing as if the piece of information was unimportant. But of course it was. It meant nothing to her. Maybe a few years ago, she would have felt something. But not now.

"What?!"

"He bought a ring. Wait, I'll show you," she went to the bedroom and John listened to the sounds of her searching something in the box serving her as a trash bin. Then she was back with a little velvet black box in her hands. She opened it and held it for him to see.

"You gotta be kidding me…" he let out a long breath, taking the ring for a closer look. Then his eyes moved to her left hand, eyeing her ring finger as if trying to imagine the piece of jewellery on it. "And he left it here for you?"

"On this very table," she pointed at the coffee table in front of them. "I guess he wanted to rekindle some feelings in me to make me call him."

"I hope you didn't."

"Of course not, John," she whispered and frowned at the innocent ring still in her brother's hand. It was a simple golden right with a single stone – as green as her eyes.

...

"I've noticed something," Chris said thoughtfully, his arm casually around her shoulders as he watched children playing on a playground. He looked indifferent, but she knew he was excited about being here.

"What?" she asked, her eyes on a woman standing on the other side of the playground. The tall, slim woman in tight trousers, simple brown T-shirt with deep neckline and a sweatshirt which was zipped only half-way up, showing her rich bosom, watched her and Chris with glowering face, never leaving her eyes off the pair.

"Every time I say my son's name, you flinch. Why is that?" his voice was quiet, sounding dangerously close to her ear. She shuddered when his lips brushed her earlobe. She smiled and turned her face to him, planting a gentle kiss on those lips. And she could almost see the steam puffing off Chris' ex-wife's ears as she did so.

"Well…bad experience with someone named Adam," she said simply and turned her attention to the ten-years-old boy playing tag with his friends. The longer she watched him, the more he looked like Chris. The same black hair, the same dark eyes, similar face features…Adam would be a very handsome man one day judging by his father's appearance.

"Care to elaborate?"

She suppressed the urge to frown. It wouldn't look good with the role she had been asked to play for Amy – head over heals in love. Instead, she smiled and bit her lip, her eyes once again trailing over the woman. She had folded her arms over her chest, glaring daggers at May.

"I don't get it. She wanted the divorce, she has remarried…but seeing you with me makes her jealous."

"I bet you would be just as jealous meeting David with someone…" he paused for a moment, "prettier than you."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "She wouldn't even have to be prettier," she admitted.

Chris smirked and focused on Amy. "Women. So…back to your Adam? I get it you don't want to talk about him."

"Not as much _don't want_ as _can't_," she mused and that definitely draw Chris' attention. His face darkened a little, realizing exactly what Frederick Alenko had realized when she had told him the same thing. "Classified part of your records. About your past."

"Yep."

"Mindoir?"

She quirked an eyebrow at him.

He clicked his tongue irritably, but laid a gentle hand on her knee, sliding it slowly up her thigh. "Come on, I'm N7. Like you, you know? I have the same security clearances as you."

She took a slow breath and covered his hand with hers, stopping in. "Well, I happened to be caught in a middle of a plot to make John flip sides and join Cerberus.

"The pro-human terrorist organization?" he asked, turning his hand to intertwine his fingers with hers.

She nodded and leaned closer to him to whisper in his ear. "This Adam belonged to them. And wanted to use me to achieve the goal." She couldn't resist, but run her tongue up the curve of his ear and Chris's hold of her hand tightened the instant.

"How?" His voice hoarse. He cleared his throat and repeated it, sounding perfectly normal. And May couldn't miss that despite the excitement in his voice, his body language spoke: at ease. He was a very good actor.

"They kidnapped me while John was gone. They wanted to sell me to Omega and, after some time, to tell John where I was, hoping John's gratitude would be so great he'd…join them," she shrugged. "It was Adam's idea," she said, remembering the testament from the court like it hadn't happen several years ago, but a few hours. "He hit me in the face, hurt like hell and drugged me. However a guy who was supposed to work for Cerberus, too, helped me escape. And so Adam changed his plans and tried to kill me."

"Evidently, he failed," Chris stated and brought the other hand to play with her hair.

"It was a close one, though."

"What of that guy?"

Her face saddened "They killed him. He knew they would."

"That explains it all," he mused, still playing with her hair absentmindedly. Suddenly, he narrowed her eyes at her. "Listen, Shepard…" he started saying, and Maya suddenly knew what he was about to say. The only three times when he ever called her Shepard was at action, when he was angry with her…and in the only time they'd had sex.

"No, Chris. I'm afraid not," she said quickly. "John returns tomorrow and so does his team and…there's…one…particular member of it I would like to get to know a little better."

He smiled, shaking off the rejection quickly. "So, after four months you finally feel like moving on? A date, May. I'm happy for you."

"Eh…not a date. I just…well…"

"Oh, don't worry about it. Who would say no to you?"

She couldn't help, but chuckle. "Of course..." she smiled at him, but inside she was anything but cheerful. Kaidan has already said no once to her. And instead of talking to him, as he'd then wanted, she had tried her best to avoid him, probably ruining her last chance.

Tomorrow would be a disaster.

...

It was funny. She'd risked her life so many times she'd lost count, but when it came to ring a door bell, she was terrified. She knew she probably looked really stupid, standing in front of the door, unmoving, for so long, but she needed the time to gather her courage.

No, it wasn't funny. It was ridiculous. They spoke of her as the war veteran, the one who had saved Elysium. Fearless, brave, ready to lay her life for humanity. And she was afraid of a rejection.

She shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair. And finally pressed the button next to the door.

She heard steps, very soft ones, and so she knew it was Tasha who came to answer. The elder woman's face brightened when she saw the redhead, a wide smile appeared on her lips "Maya!" she said joyfully. "It's so nice to see you again. It's been too long."

"I'm glad to see you, too, Tasha," Maya responded with the same warm tone before Tasha pulled her into a quick hug, then caught her hand and practically dragged her inside, closing the door behind her. Her eyes gleamed strangely, when she regarded the marine. "Why do I have the feeling you're not here to have a chitchat with me?"

"Why would you think so?"

Tasha laughed gently, and touched May's hands. "I saw you waiting outside," she whispered and in louder voice added: "Wait here, I'll go fetch him," she winked and disappeared up the stairs. May let out a long breath.

After a while she could hear hushed voice coming from above, and then someone going down the stairs. She'd never seen Kaidan wearing BDU before, and she had to admit he looked exclusive. Talk about men in uniform...

"Hey," she greeted him, trying to sound braver than she felt.

"May?" he breathed, looking confused. He reached the last step. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled for a moment, then looked away and after a second focused on him. "I am sorry I never responded to your message," she finally said, but it sounded like pulling a teeth. She cleared her throat. "I mean...I guess I was just a little..." her voice trailed off as the words failed her. She had no idea what to say.

He came closer to her. "I understand," was all he said.

She blinked. "You're not angry with me?"

"Why would I?"

She smiled at him simply and bit her lip, shifting her weight. "Because...well...I would be angry if I were you. I..." she lowered her voice a little bit, "first I hit on you, then I completely ignore and avoid you..."

"Okay, okay," he smiled softly. "Stop right there, May. That's not necessary. Yes, you mistreated me, but I don't hold it against you."

Was he...teasing her? Maya blinked and tilted her head to one side. A mischievous gleam twinkled in his eyes. He _was_ teasing! "Well...then I guess buying you a drink to express my deepest remorse isn't necessary either, right?"

"Are you asking me out, May?"

She shrugged. "Well, jumping right in the action didn't work on you, so I figured you needed to take things slowly. But since there's no need..." she begun turning around.

"Come to think of it...I do feel slightly offended. How about I pick you up at eight?"

She threw her most charming smile over her shoulder.

...

"I admit…I was afraid at the beginning," May said quietly, nestling in his strong arms, enjoying the warmth his body emanated. She started tracing meaningless patterns on his chest, touching him with her fingertips.

"You?" Kaidan asked just as quietly. "Afraid of something? No way," he joked. His chest vibrated under her cheek as he chuckled.

"You know, that is a stereotype I have to fight ever since Elysium. I have the right to be just as terrified as the next guy," she mumbled.

"You're good at hiding it, then. I couldn't tell you felt uneasy."

"The flirting helped a lot," she smiled, but then her face turned serious and she lifted her head to look at him. His eyes were half-closed, a content smile playing on his lips. She kissed the smile, running her fingers through his hair gently. His arm tightened around her waist, pulling her closer to him. And she was very close to start purring like cat with bliss. She hadn't felt this happy in…well…not after Mindoir anyway. As if the planet had taken part of her when it burnt down, and only now was the emptiness gone, filled with Kaidan. _Okay, that sounds stupid,_ she chided herself for the naïve thought.

Kaidan hand's caressed her cheek lightly and she opened her eyes to look into his hazelnut ones. Their faces were so close she could see herself mirrored in them. "I wanted to take things slowly."

"I didn't," he whispered, his eyes trailing over her face, searching, trying to remember every detail of it. Her face was flushed, her cheeks and nose dusted with freckles. He moved his hand slightly, using his thumb to trace over her smiling lips. She moved into his touch, closing her eyes again. And he smiled. Her eyes were the most beautiful of her features. He could always tell what she was thinking thanks to the large emeralds. They captivated him from the first moment, talked to him when she didn't, and seduced him when she probably didn't even realize the effect she had on him.

"May," he mumbled, trying to make her look at him again.

"Hm…?" she hummed softly, blinking at him.

"I think we actually did take things slowly. At least from my perspective."

Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion and took a breath to speak, but he placed a finger over her lips to silence her. "I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. Six years, that's slow in my book."

She laughed gently and buried her face in the crook of his neck. His hands slid up and down her back, tracing her spine with his fingertips. He liked the way she shivered at his touch, and the way she responded to his caress. Her lips, suddenly as hot as fire, explored his neck and ear, hesitantly at first, but with growing passion. And when he felt her teeth nibble gently at his earlobe, he rolled quickly, trapping her beneath him.

Her eyes, darkened with craving, looked up at him, her lips parted and curved into the most mischievous and desirable smirk Kaidan'd ever seen. She brought her leg up his own as she arched her back under him and her hands cupped his cheek, forcing him to kiss her. Not that he minded. May in his bed was a dream come true. He just wanted to freeze the moment, to make it last forever. He wanted it to be burnt into his brain. To always remember the way she gazed up at him, the soft sounds she made when he touched her.

They made love almost throughout the whole night, never getting enough of each other. As if they wanted to make up for the lost years they had been circling around each other even though now it was so plain to see they should have been together the whole time.

...

"I don't think you should propose on her birthday, Tobias," Maya shook her head. Her chin rested in her palms, her elbows digging into the warm sand, her eyes searching the perfect, cloudless sky. "It's just too…"

"Mundane? Common?"

"Predictable," she finished, nodding slowly. "Girls just expect something big on birthdays, anniversaries and similar occasions, especially when you're dating like…" she did a quick math in her head, "seven years! God, Tobias!" She sent him reproachful look over her shoulders. Then she resumed her relaxed pose on her stomach with hands folded under her head as a pillow. She closed her eyes and smiled, enjoying Mindoir's hot sun's gentle fingers caressing her skin.

"I wasn't sure I wanted to be with her!" he defended himself. "We have our differences, you know."

"Then why do you want to marry her now?"

There was a pause behind her. "I just do," he said finally. "It's difficult to explain. I just...want her to be my wife."

Her face was turned away from him, so he couldn't see the way she glowered at his response. She'd recognize it. It was a similar excuse she used to try to convince herself why to stay with David. It had never been simply: I love him. It couldn't, because she had never loved him.

Tobias could have easily said: "Because I love her". But he hadn't.

"As long as you're happy," she said, forcing smile on her face. "But not on her birthday."

"Well, I'll give it some thought yet," he relented. "You're woman after all, so you should know better than me."

She laughed. "Woman who's spent her all life among men, Tobias. I'm not even sure I ever had a girlfriend...well...there was Sabine at secondary school. Nevertheless, if you wanted a real woman's advice, you should have asked Carol. Or Kara."

"You're just fine," he stood his ground, sounding suddenly very thoughtful.

That made her curious and she turned on her side, propped on her elbow, to look at him. Her hair shone in the hot, merciless Mindoir sun. Her freckles were more pronounced than the day before, and so was the light, narrow scar running across her right eyebrow. It practically shone from her face as her skin turned a beautiful shade of bronze. Even the green stitches holding close the dash on her chin looked good on her, bizarrely matching her eyes. The wound was the reason she had refused to bath with him in _their_ lake, but decided to get some tan on its bank instead.

Not that Tobias minded. The reason why he had wanted this trip to the lake was to see her in bikini. She'd told him about a new tattoo, but wasn't very specific as to its location. But as much as he tried to spot it, while simultaneously trying not to be caught staring, he couldn't find it. There weren't much parts of her body left, where she had put it however. And at the moment, when his mind wandered, he was glad she wasn't in the water with him, because it was transparent enough for her to see the result. From her angle, however, lying on the ground, she couldn't see anything.

"What about you, anyway? Still happy with your Prince Charming?"

The grin that appeared on her face was rather devilish and spoke volumes. May rolled on her back and laughed, probably at some memory, and Tobias fought hard to suppress deep frown. It was difficult not to hate the man. David had meant nothing to her, he could tell from the very beginning. But this Kaidan Alenko...she loved him. With all her heart.

Tobias set his jaw, trying not to feel jealousy burning inside him when he though of what probably was going on in her head at the moment. "Do I want to know details?" he asked, his voice sounded strangled.

And then the impossible happened – May giggled. She giggled like she wasn't a badass twenty four years old marine, a hero of the Skyllian Blitz, but a little girl. She'd never giggled. She had laughed, chuckled, snickered, smirked, grinned, but never giggled. "No," she said, shamelessly radiating happiness. "But back to you and your soon-to-be fiancé."

"Well, she's probably waiting for me to return home to give me a lecture. She hates us travelling to Mindoir each year at the anniversary."

"One would think she could have gotten used to it by now," May simply shrugged and then run her fingers through her hair.

"She's very stubborn. Hm…who does she remind me of?" he asked, and went to join her, sitting right beside her. Her flat stomach glistened in the sun with sweat. He forced his eyes to her face quickly.

"No idea," she laughed gently. "So…do you have a ring yet?" she returned to the previous topic again, sitting up so that their eyes were at the same level.

Tobias shook his head. "No. Kara would have found it and told her."

"Ah, your sister's such a sweethea…" her omnitool chimed softly and she turned her attention to it.

Tobias tried to look away. But his eyes kept gazing towards the display projected above her forearm. He was oddly relieved when it didn't come from her Kaidan.

The message, from unknown sender, was brief. Just four words and they made them both turn pale.

_mindoir elysium pirates torfan _

_..._

It was infuriating. Maya had never felt so isolated before, like now when all she could do was to wait. But, in the name of professionalism, she couldn't afford to let everyone in the Alliance command know just how much she hated their decision. When they had told her, she had just narrowed her eyes, nodded obediently and taken her leave. But now, she couldn't just sit and do nothing, but she still couldn't appear as angry and uneasy as she really felt. So pacing to and fro had to do while waiting for _any_ piece of information.

The message she had received two months ago had been very important. And _she_ was the one who got it. _She _was the one who should go on the moon and do exactly the same thing those fuckers did to her people, and people of Elysium.

_"I'm afraid they found you too emotionally involved to let you lead the attack," Captain Anderson informed her. Being both her and John's friend, he was the one to come to calm her down after the brass had made their decision._

_ "And John isn't? Mindoir was his home, too. His parents are dead because of those animals. And he can go? He can lead the assault? That's not fair, Anderson."_

_ "This isn't matter of fairness or not. It's politics. Your motive for the whole action is retaliation. The Alliance can't afford that."_

_ "Again, sir, Mindoir was John's homeworld, too. He has a reason to take vengeance as well."_

_ "Yes, but Mindoir happened eight years ago and John wasn't there. You were. Just like you were on Elysium. Hence the emotional involvement."_

_ "With all due respect, sir, John is emotionally involved in anything that emotionally involves me," she snapped._

_ That made him smile a little. "And I see you're just as stubborn as he is. Anyway, the decision has been made. John Shepard is leading the assault."_

_ "Which is stupid. I have the superior training. I outrank him. I am more suited for the job."_

_ "John has greater experience on battlefield, Maya." _

_ That was a blindside. Using her name. Ever since they had first met on Arcturus the day she had graduated, she had respected Anderson and valued him like no one else. When she completed the N7 training and had the opportunity to serve under him a few times, she also learned he was very kind, and their strictly professional relationship turned into more daughter-father one. So when he used her name, she knew she wasn't speaking to her superior anymore, but to her friend. She hung her head and sighed. He chuckled and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I can see it irritates you and I understand."_

_ "It doesn't irritate me. It pisses me off. I hate having to wait."_

_ The elder man smiled at that again. "You look nothing like John, but you two can't hide the relation between you two. John strongly dislikes helplessness, too."_

She checked the time. The action had started five hours ago, and still no information. She was nervous, like a wild animal caught in a cage, and she paced restlessly, chewing on the inside of her cheeks impatiently.

And then the message finally came. From Kaidan.

First she felt relieved that he was unharmed. But then fear started gripping its familiar hold on her. John had promised to let her know as soon as the action would be over. There was only one reason she could think of that would stop him from keeping his promise.

_No...no...please, not John, too!_

She must have looked very stupid. She stood in a middle of a corridor in a middle of the Alliance HQ in Vancouver, staring at her omnitool stupidly. But she didn't care and remained in her still position for some time, collecting courage to actually open the message.

_John is fine._

That was the opening of the whole message and she suddenly felt as if a heavy weight was lifted off her shoulders.

_The pirates are wiped out._

Her world was suddenly perfect once more, the fear, anxiety and anger all forgotten. Kaidan was alright, so was John, and Mindoir and Elysium had been avenged.

_We saved some of the slaves they had. A lot of them had been killed when we raided the moon, but some managed to survive. In general, it was bloodshed, so don't ask for details._

She didn't feel sorry for the pirates at all. The slaves, though…

_John was incredibly ruthless, sending people to die without a second of hesitation. I don't know him this way, but I guess it was only understandable. Not excusable, but understandable._

She would have been ruthless, too. And bloodthirsty.

_Now…the interesting part. We found out who sent you the message about Torfan. _

Well, that was a question she had asked herself a thousand times before. Because, really, it had been strangely convenient. Could it have been a trap? The Alliance counted on it, actually, but had decided to risk it anyway.

_But John will probably want to tell you himself. We'll be home soon. I love you._

_..._

_I love you, too, Kaidan. And I would love you even more if you told me. Come on, it can't be as big as you make it sound. I know you promised, but I'm sure there's something I can promise to you, too, if you tell me._

_..._

_ You know, I could almost hear the mischievous tone and see the way you would quirk your right eyebrow, if you told me this face to face. But you wouldn't tell me that, right? You just said it because I'm thousands light years away._

_ On a more serious note, don't ask. Really. I don't have such a strong will to oppose you too long, and I'm sure John should tell you. Need to go now. You know, take a shower, change, clean my armour and rifle...the usual perks of a marine's life._

* * *

To be continued. Thank you all for reading this chapter, hope you like it :) I at least did. It was a nice change to write a chapter where I didn't kill anyone O:-) I'm one of those people saying: Make love, not war. Sometimes it's ironic, but I try to stick to it nonetheless. Anyway, if there is anything you'd like to tell me regarding the chapter, or the story, or anythign you want actually, feel free to let me know.

By the way, **Rockobrocko:** You've got your PM disabled, so let me thank you for following this story at least this way. It's nice to know you liked it so far :)

And have a nice day everyone, and wish me luck for exams are here again, and then...well, let's not think that far ahead :D Take care guys :)


	23. Purpose

Disclaimer: I don't own ME.

Edit: Oh, now I feel very terrible for forgetting, and I apologize for that, **shewhohasbeename. **I wanted to thank you for the review. Just like you, I'm looking forward the Normandy and Joker especially, too, because I really love the character. Maybe it has something to do with the fact I really like Seth Green and when I first heard the voice I knew I was going to love Joker :)

* * *

The infirmary. As soon as John had expressed a wish for her to join him there, a cold fear got its grip on her once again. But why? She knew John was fine. So was Kaidan. That left the only logical explanation – it was probably her inner source that had gotten hospitalized. Should she care? Why was she so scared? She didn't even know the person.

But whoever it was knew her. Trusted her enough to send a plea for help – because despite the short content faking to be a direction it was nothing more than a cry for help. And, moreover, knew how to reach her. Maya was pretty sure her _personal_ email address hadn't leaked to the public.

Or maybe she was afraid of the infirmary. After all, such places didn't usually bring back happy memories. To be quite honest, she hated them. For her it was a symbol of helplessness and a great source of frustration. She was helpless when someone she held dear had to be hospitalized. And she was frustrated when it was her who had to stay in the stupid bed with those insufferably white sheets.

Somehow she wasn't surprised to find Kaidan waiting outside the sick bay. He was leaning against the wall, staring at the floor with thoughtful expression. But when he heard her steps, he looked up. She practically ran the last few steps and soon she found herself in his arm, enveloped by his scent and warmth. "I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered into his neck, holding tightly to him, her hands clenched into fists. His arms, encircling her waist, were much more gentle; a sign of is always perfect self-control.

He laughed softly and she could feel his lips in her hair. "Come on. It wasn't that bad."

"Liar," she replied and turned her face up to kiss his jaw. He moved his head down to meet her lips and his hand, holding the back of her neck gingerly, held her in place while he kissed her slowly. Not that she would try to get away from him, quite the opposite.

As much as he wanted to keep her this way, he pulled away from her and his eyes found their way to the door with only a short stop at her lips.

May's shoulders tensed. "Should I be afraid?" she asked.

Kaidan chuckled and shook his head, raising his hand to caress her cheek. "Unless you're afraid of John," he said quietly, running his thumb over the faint scar on her chin. The last time he saw her she'd still had the green stitches.

She smiled and leaned into him, turning her face into his touch. "Some people are," she purred and with obvious reluctance disentangled herself from his arms. She wanted to move to the door, but Kaidan's hand quickly caught her elbow and turned her back to him. "Eh…just a sec," he trailed off while his fingers fumbled with the hem of dark blue tank top, trying to pull it lower to hide the narrow stripe of bare skin peeking from between the hem and the waistline of her black trousers.

She shot him an amused look. "Okay, who's inside? Is it my mother or why are you rearranging my clothes? As far as I know, John has never felt offended by the way I dress," she joked and cuffed his hands, stepping out of his reach.

Kaidan's face was carefully neutral when he looked at the door again. He shrugged and pointed towards it. "You're free to go now."

"How generous of you, Mr. Alenko," she winked at him and finally turned to the door. She opened it without looking back at him, missing the way his eyes slid down her body and lingered on her butt, and walked inside the room. She was immediately attacked by a scent of medicaments that hung thick in the air. Almost all of the beds were occupied, so the attack on Torfan'd had to be really extreme. But then she realized she didn't know any of the faces sheepishly peeking at her. Also they all looked terrified, exhausted and…wait, those people weren't soldiers at all.

_They must be the slaves the Alliance has rescued,_ she realized as she spotted John sitting on a chair pulled to one of the beds. She headed to him, and only when she was a few steps from the bed she caught a glimpse of the person lying on it.

It was a woman with dark brown hair and icy blue eyes that spoke of fatigue and pain. Her left eye was swollen, opened only to a slit, and a dark shiner covered almost half of her gaunt face, making a great contrast with the woman's paper white skin. Though unlike other former slaves in the room, this woman seemed more relaxed then the rest, her thin cracked lips were curled up into a ghost of a weary, dreamy smile. One of her arms had been broken and it was now resting on her stomach, free of the sling hanging from her neck that was supposed to support it. An ugly and almost black bruise was peeking from beneath the neckline of the white shirt she'd been given. Any further damage was hidden by a white sheet that covered the woman up to her waist.

May stopped dead in her tracks, staring at the woman through narrowed eyes. There was something achingly familiar about her, but Maya just couldn't put her finger on it. She only had this strong, acute feeling she _should_ know the face.

Bright tears appeared in the woman's eyes and her healthy arm propped against the bad as she was about to sit up. John's hand caught her shoulder, the not bruised one, and made sure she would stay on the bed. He looked over his shoulder at his sister with strange intensity. She returned the gaze and her eyes widened. She looked back at the woman, than at John.

Their eyes…

John's reaction was so prompt he actually managed to catch his sister before she fell as her knees gave out. He supported her as he helped her into the chair he'd brought.

"Do you want something to drink? Water or…" he asked her, but she simply waved him off as if he weren't even there, staring disbelievingly at the woman.

She looked so old. Much older than she should, as if she hadn't lost eight years of her life but eighteen. Or eighty. Knowing who she was, May still had problems finding the familiar comely features of her mother's face. She looked like she had lost half of her weight, her hair was painfully sparse. She had so many wrinkles and was so pale. Her eyes had lost the gleam they she remembered they had back on Mindoir.

Alayne, who didn't have to be Slave anymore, managed a small smile, her voice barely audible when she rasped. "You are so beautiful…" she breathed out, her blue eyes travelling over and over May's face. She lifted her hand and reached to her daughter. May leaned forward and closed her eyes when the rough hand cupped her cheek. She frowned at the touch. Her mother had never had exactly soft hands – she'd been a farmer after all – but never this calloused and dry.

She could feel her fingers brush her chin and her right eyebrow where her face had been scarred. Slowly, Maya opened her eyes again and looked into her mother's face. The pain was gone from the blue orbs now and they were filled with love and peace. Silent tears were running down her white, withered cheeks. How long she had to spend under Torfan's surface to pale so much, May wondered as she smiled at the woman. May took her mother's hand off her face and placed it in her lap, but didn't let go of it as if afraid that once she would, the woman in front of her would disappear.

"I never thought one day I would see you again," Alayne whispered. She could recall the raw pain she had felt thinking her daughter had been killed. But here she was, all grown up, alive.

Alive.

"When…" Maya drew a hesitant breath. "When they saved us…" her voice was shaking and much higher than usually. "The whole time they were bandaging my leg and my arm, I…" she paused, closing her eyes. A tear slid down her cheeks, but she didn't bother to wipe it off. She had them closed while going on: "I watched the door, hoping they'd bring you there, too. They were searching the colony and I simply hoped they'd find you or Dad."

Never in his life had John seen May shaking so much. He rested a hand on her shoulder and she covered it immediately, gripping it almost painfully.

"They never did…" her voice was now all but inaudible. "They didn't bring anyone." She shook her head lightly and finally opened her eyes again.

"We tried to get back to the colony...to you," Alayne whispered to her daughter. "They were too fast."

"Only seventeen colonists survived that day," Maya nodded. Her voice sounded a way stronger now, as she'd finally contained her emotions.

Both women got startled when John spoke up suddenly, as if they'd forgotten about him. "They won't hurt anyone, now."

Alayne smiled wearily. "I'm so proud of you. Both of you," she said and her eyes travelled between Maya and John. "I wish I could freeze this moment and watch you two together like this forever. You have no idea what it means to me to see you like this, after I gave up hope..." her voice trailed off. Then she turned her face away from her children. "I thought you died on Mindoir," she said out loud what she'd been afraid to say all those long years. She'd never told anyone about her children or their fate. Why would she? She was no one. Just a nameless slave with no past, grim present and future that wasn't even worth mentioning. "All those years I kept torturing myself I'd made a mistake that day, that I should have sent you with John..." she looked back at her daughter who had a sheer confusion written all over her face. John's face was deadpan.

"What mistake?" Maya asked softly.

Alayne looked at John. He was so tall, like his father, towering above the two of them. He even looked a bit like Thomas. Though she thought she'd forgotten her husband's face long ago, she still recognized the same features; his cheekbones, chin and nose. Though John's eyes were hers. However, the last time she'd seen John, he was still a boy... And his pretty face had been twisted in unimaginable anger and pain. "Do you remember the day you asked us why we were sending you away?" she whispered, hoping for some reaction.

His face however was as usually completely still, but Maya felt the way his grip on her shoulder tightened ever so slightly. As if realizing what he'd done, he shot May a quick glance as she looked at him over her shoulder. Their eyes met for a few seconds. "Yes," was all he said when he turned his eyes back to his mother.

"We didn't answer."

"No."

"I thought you simply had to," Maya stepped in, too.

"Of course we had to. But there was more to it, honey," she paused for a second, using the moment of silence to once again touch her little daughter's cheek. "They wanted to take you, too."

"What?!" both siblings blurted out like one man.

Maya scowled at that. "What the h…" she caught herself and cleared her throat, "...heck? Why would they want to take me to the brain camp? I wasn't a biotic!"

"But you are now," John stated. His eyes watched his mother and somehow it didn't take him aback that she didn't look surprised. She only smiled and nodded. "Indeed. You see, honey, they gave us a choice," she started speaking, her eyes trailing between her children. "Either we would give John willingly, or they would take him based on results of some tests they would run on him. And while at it, they said they would conduct the same tests on you."

"They wanted to test me for Eezo? Oh, wait…" May trailed off, her shoulders slumped. She knew what it would have meant.

Element zero, once in a body – no matter of what species – didn't leave it. Just like it had stayed in her mother's body after John was born. Thus, when she got pregnant again, Maya got a healthy doze, too. Maybe not as much as John. She knew she'd never be as good a biotic as her brother. But she was biotic enough that the nice men wouldn't have hesitated.

"And they would have found it," John said what was left of the story. "You knew that."

"Of course I knew that. Right after the accident, there wasn't much information. I had no idea what eezo might do to you. Years later, when I got pregnant the second time, however, the information was out. And I could read all there was to read about element zero…about the probability of May being stillborn or handicapped or sick…" she stopped abruptly and took a deep breath. "If I had sent Maya with you that day, she wouldn't have been on Mindoir when…"

"But then I would have been stuck with her all those years," John said curtly, sounding like it was the most horrific thing he could imagine.

May blinked and looked at her brother over her shoulder. She knew he had meant it as a joke, but she noticed the other former slaves who were within earshot simply stared at him, disbelief written all over their wretched faces.

"I know. It would have been terrible. All those years living in my shadow," she smiled at him innocently and shrugged, turning her attention back to Alayne. "Either way, I'm glad you didn't send me with John. Mindoir, the Citadel, Elysium…everything that has ever happened to me has shaped me into who I am today," she smiled ruefully. "Sometimes it was difficult, but I like who I am. I can't imagine being anyone else."

"But I can vividly imagine you two being somewhere else. These people need rest and you two are too much of a distraction for them," a stern voice from the other side of the infirmary said harshly. An elder woman watched the couple with narrowed, yet kind eyes, her arms folded over her chest.

"But I've just…" May started speaking, but John stopped her. He grabbed her under her arm and lifted her to her feet.

"Tomorrow is another day," he whispered to her. "Don't argue with Chakwas. It's pointless. She's great, but uncompromising when it comes to her patients." He pushed her towards the door gently, but didn't follow her. His steps led to this Chakwas to talk to her.

Maya shrugged and returned to her mother's bed after both of them stopped paying attention. She bent to the woman to hug her carefully. "I love you..." she whispered into her shoulder. "I promise to come tomorrow."

Alayne buried her fingers in the sea of red strands, closing her eyes. She didn't say anything, only smiled. She was smiling long after both her children were gone.

...

The door to their bedroom opened and a narrow beam of light intruded into the room. Maya closed her eyes quickly, hiding her face into the pillow, when the light blinded her for a moment.

"Sorry," Kaidan murmured into the silence of the room, and Maya felt the bed sunk as he sat on it. She also smelled the familiar scent of cranberries. He'd made her a tea.

She smiled and sat up slowly. "How did you know I wasn't sleeping?" she asked and kissed his cheek as she took the steaming cup from his hands.

"You never sleep when something's bothering you," he replied calmly. He watched her take a sip. She had this habit of closing her eyes to fully enjoy the sensation as she rolled the hot liquid in her mouth to taste it. Drinking a tea was like a ritual for her. A way to relax and calm down.

"Somehow the tea's always the tastiest when you make it," she said, breathing in its scent. "Thank you." She set it aside on the bedside table and crawled to Kaidan sitting on the bed. Sensing her intention Kaidan parted his legs and helped her settle between them, her back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her as she snuggled up to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I imagine today had to be quite an emotional roller coaster for you, huh?" Kaidan whispered into her ear.

"Emotional roller coaster," she echoed with a chuckle, melting into his chest comfortably. "That's one way to put it. But mostly I'm just…well, I can't believe it. You know, people always deny deaths of their loved ones by hoping that one day they would open a door and find them waiting behind it. But no one actually believes it might happen."

"Well, like my Mom always says, miracles don't only happen at Christmas," Kaidan replied softly. Her hair smelled like his shampoo and that made him smile. For some reason, she always used his shampoo when they were at his flat. "Would you like me to accompany you tomorrow?"

She smiled and turned her head to plant a feather kiss on his lips. "Thanks, but no. I'd like to have some time with her alone."

"I can understand that."

"And at least you'll have the flat for yourself and be able to catch up on some undisturbed shut-eye after Torfan. You made it sound so terrible," she added, sounding less cheerful now.

"It always sounds like that, but when you think back you know things could have been even worse," he said quietly, but May knew he just intended to calm her. She'd managed to get her hands on the official report, thanks to John, so she knew what had happened on the moon. Kaidan had called it bloodshed. But it was a huge understatement in her book.

She couldn't remember any Alliance operation with so many casualties on their side. Obeying John's orders, a lot of marines had lost their lives, and the worst part of it was they didn't have to. John had chosen the quick solution, to storm the underground base no matter the cost. Yes, his strategy had been successful. And somehow the Alliance had even managed to smooth it for the public so John looked once again like a hero who finally gave humanity the desired revenge.

The details, however, had been swept under the carpet. Details like mental condition of Major Kyle who had broken down immediately after the operation. Or the exact numbers of how many people didn't make it back. Or the fact John had refused to take prisoners. He had every single batarian executed, even the unarmed one, those who had surrendered.

Maya suppressed a shudder when a chill ran down her spine. She cleared her throat and tried to hide her sudden anxiety behind a mask of a casual smile. "I know what you mean. In time, everything bad turns blur, like it never happened to you but someone else. And you just watched," she said quietly and reached for the cup of tea she'd set aside. She took another sip and then rested it on her thigh, while still holding it in her hand carefully. "You know..." she started hesitantly. "When talking about bad experience..."

"Hmm?"

"I've never asked. I knew if you wanted me to know you'd tell me sooner or later." She made a pause, but Kaidan stayed quiet. This, and the way his chest stopped moving for a few seconds as he held his breath, told her he knew where she was going with this. "What happened in BAaT?"

It took him some time before he started talking. "Do you know why it got shut down?"

"Just what everyone knows. It got out of hand. Someone important died, John has slipped once."

There was a short pause. "Well, yes. Vyrnnus died."

"Who was Vyrnnus?"

Another while of silence followed her question. Maya felt the need to turn in Kaidan's arms to look at him, but decided against it. There were things which were easier to tell when no one was watching you. This seemed like one of them, so she simply leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder once again. Her right hand, the one not holding the cup, absentmindedly run up and down his leg in a light caress.

"One of the turians Conatix Industries hired to watch over the training, to lead it. Humans had limited experience with biotics, so they had sought for someone who knew a thing or two about it."

She didn't speak when he trailed off, giving him all the time he needed. She remembered what it felt like back on board the SSV Einstein when Hannah came to ask about what happened on Mindoir.

"Things were tough with him in charge. He didn't like humans and didn't make it a secret. _I was at the helm of the dreadnought that killed your father,_ he told one of the guys when he first came to our class. It was all I could do to hold John at the moment. He looked ready to snap Vyrnnus neck."

"He's very protective over people who he feels are under his wing," she whispered and loosened the grip she had on the poor cup. She didn't even realize just how much she had squeezed it.

"A few of the kids Vyrnnus had in care didn't make it."

May's shoulders tensed and she sucked in a quick breath and held it. It wasn't because of those poor souls. She had known about it. John had told her long ago. No, it was the strange tightness in Kaidan's voice as if an invisible hand was holding his throat. Her hand on Kaidan's leg stopped moving. It stilled on his knee, only her thumb was moving. It traced small half-circles on his skin.

"One day he..." another pause, "he broke an arm of…someone he shouldn't have. Her name was Rahna and she was...well, she was smart and gentle, like you. But somehow fragile. People around her loved her and felt the need to protect her."

Maya tried to ignore the cold feeling in her stomach. "What did she do to deserve it?" she asked quietly, trying to sound calm.

"Reached for a glass of water with her hand. She was...was like you when you overdo your abilities, only she had nosebleed almost whenever she used biotics. She didn't see him standing behind her. And he wasn't done with her."

"What happened?"

"I wanted to help her. One second he stood above her, yanking her by the broken arm to her feet, shouting at me, next my biotic kick threw him across the mess."

Maya slowly relaxed her jaw, which she'd had clenched tightly. "Is that why you're always so controlled about everything? Why John is, too?"

"Yes. When a biotic loses control, people die. We've learned it the hard way."

Once again the room fell into silence. Someone might have called it awkward, but neither of the couple cared at the moment. Both were buried in their thoughts to even consider it. Kaidan found himself once again standing in the middle of the circle of his friends, with Rahna's big, scared eyes staring at him. Her arm clutched to her chest, her lips trembling…and than she made a step back.

Maya had taken her hand from Kaidan's leg long ago, and now it was resting in her lap. She fisted the hand and then flexed again. Her eyes looked around the room frantically, grateful they were at Kaidan's place and not hers which would only remind her of…Her head started to throb from sudden fear. She swallowed. _You're being ridiculous. This is Kaidan!_, she berated herself. Finally, her soft intake of breath punctuated the quiet. "You tried to protect someone you cared for," she trailed off, waiting for Kaidan to deny the feelings she'd heard from his voice when he spoke her name, but he stayed quiet. "That's admirable," she added because she couldn't stand the way her head throbbed even faster in the silence. It throbbed, she realized, in a rhythm with her pounding heart. "What happened to the girl?"

"She was scared of Vyrnnus. But after everything, she was terrified of me."

The next question was out before she could stop herself. "So you're not in touch with her?"

His chest vibrated slightly as he chuckled, his breath tickled the nape of her neck. Then he kissed it gently. "Jealous?"

She hesitated, turning her eyes downwards to the cup in her hands. "Didn't use to be," she mumbled sheepishly as if she was actually ashamed by the notion, touching her forehead lightly. Her heartbeat sped up again.

Yes. She was jealous. She was jealous of a girl she'd never met, never heard of before today, who was long gone from Kaidan's life. Of a girl Kaidan apparently felt something for even now. She was jealous of her, because…because she was a dream. She was a memory of something perfect he could have had, bud hadn't.

Kaidan's hand closed around her arms, stroking them gently as he buried his face in her hair. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she mumbled into the tea, drinking again. It had cooled down a bit, so it didn't burn her tongue now. "It was stupid question. I shouldn't have asked," she said and turned her face to him, smiling softly. "Thanks for the tea. It's a shot in the arm for me. But right now, I'd really like to sleep." She gently pressed the cup into his palm and kissed him on lips once before pulling away from him. They'd been sitting in the centre of the large bed, so nothing stopped her from crawling under the cover again, curling on the right side of it. She was so close to the edge that Kaidan was sure she'd fall off if she really fell asleep now.

Kaidan stood up wordlessly and walked away, taking a last glance at her "sleeping" form from the door. He gave her a rueful smile before closing it and thus shutting the only source of light.

Such a small gesture, sleeping on the favourite part of the bed, now presented itself as a problem to him. He'd always wondered what made people choose their side. He knew May's motives anyway. David had always kept her to his left. Closer to his heart, he used to say. How fantastically that turned out…

Two years and she was still hurting from a man she didn't even care about at the moment. Though she'd never admit it, maybe she didn't even realize it. _Or maybe_, Kaidan thought as he spilled the rest of the tea – though it was almost all of it – into the sink, _she's not hurting the way I think. Maybe she simply has doubts now. She trusted him blindly, and she's afraid to do the same with me. And maybe I read too much into it,_ he finished with a frown.

Once again, when he walked into the bedroom, she wasn't sleeping. He'd noticed the way her eyes shut quickly when he'd open the door. He smiled to himself as he got on the bed. He gently turned her on her back and she looked at him.

"You stupid," Kaidan mumbled and his soft smile slipped off his face. He lay down next to her, wrapping his arm around her as she snuggled up close to him. That was a good sign. It would have been worse if she had insisted on sleeping without touching him. This way he knew he wasn't the reason she was upset otherwise she'd get aloof. He kissed her forehead and used the other hand to wipe the tears off her face. "I love you."

"I loved you all the time I was with David," she told his shirt, "and it destroyed everything."

"You loving me didn't destroy anything. Besides, I don't love Rahna. She's gone. I haven't heard from her since Vyrnnus and I don't care. I'm here with you now," he added much softer and kissed her hair. A few seconds passed and nothing happened, then she finally relaxed against him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly.

"No need to be. Sometimes it's nice to see this side of you."

She lifted her head off his chest to blink at him questioningly, so he continued: "For everyone else you're Commander Shepard," he started saying, gently tracing her lips with his fingertips. "The fearless N7 hero of the Skyllian Blitz. For me, you're just May who loves cranberries tea and apples, hates horror films especially when there's a lot of blood, which I always found funny considering her job, and is terrified of spiders."

"That…_thing_…wasn't a spider," she muttered, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. He felt her hand find its way under his shirt.

"Eight legs, furry, a lot of eyes…"

"It was a monster as large as my fist…almost," she protested. "And we didn't have spiders on Mindoir. How was I supposed to get used to them?"

"Yeah, it's not like you've been living on Earth for eight yea…" he started laughing when she cuffed his chest gently. He stopped when she lifted her head to look at him again. He touched cheek, apparently unable to keep his hands to himself. "The point is you're just as vulnerable as the rest of us."

"I love you," she whispered.

He smiled softly and ran his hand down her soft curves. He kissed her as he hooked a thumb behind her knickers, pulling them down a little bit. She looked at him and smiled. First it was a simple happy smile that made her face glow, but then it turned into mischievous one. She bit his lower lip, though a little bit more painfully than strictly necessary, and climbed on top him.

...

The door to May's flat slid open as soon as John waved his omnitool in front of the panel next to it. But he didn't walk inside right away. He stared at a little something staring at him from the middle of his sister's living room. The something wiggled its little tail enthusiastically and ran to him clumsily, almost tripping over its own legs, yipping excitedly.

"Eh…Maya? Sis?" John drawled and bent to pick the little furry creature sniffing at his shoes. At the moment his sister emerged from her bathroom and flashed him a bright smile…no. Not him. Her eyes were on the small puppy he held that was trying its best to lick his chin. "What's this?" John asked, jerking his head out of the pup's reach.

"That's a dog," she replied in her best "duh" voice and smiled at the puppy bouncing in John's arms, trying to twist so that she could reach his face. "Oh look. She likes you!" she exclaimed, and then her face turned blank. "Of course. She's just stupid little pup. She can't know better."

John set the animal on the floor and watched it waddle away, unsure on its ridiculously large paws. "You bought a dog? Are you crazy? What are you going to do with it? Are you going to smuggle it somehow on board of whatever ship you have your next assignment on, hoping that no one will notice?" he asked incredulously, pointing at the panting creature. As if knowing he was talking about her, she looked at him, her tongue lolling from her mouth.

Maya laughed at his expression. "No, John. She's for Mom."

"What?" he asked and looked at the little dumb creature after she yipped and trotted merrily to the bathroom.

"She's going to love her, I'm sure."

John shook his head. "You are crazy. Mom's just recovered from nearly being starved and beaten to death. She's barely able to take care of herself and you would give her an animal?"

The puppy probably tried to bark, but it came out sounding rather lame. So she returned to her yipping.

Maya looked over her shoulder. "Exactly, just go sit down, I'll be right back," she told him absentmindedly and was already on her way to the bathroom.

John watched his sister disappear and when she returned she held the dog again. She sat it on his lap before he could protest. "Here. Pet her. She'll fall asleep after a few strokes," she instructed him, sounding confident about it.

"I don't…" he started saying, but the puppy sat up on his legs too quickly and nearly fell off, but John's hands quickly steadied her.

"Hush. John, I know what I'm doing," she said seriously when she sat down on the sofa next to her brother. John really tried to touch the beagle, but she just opened her mouth and tried to bite him. Not that she had any strength in her jaws yet. All she could do was nibble. "You know, I'm leaving in three days and won't be back anytime soon. You have a shore leave for Torfan, but that's going to end one day, too. And what then? She'll be all alone in a foreign city full of strangers. This way she'll have this little sweetheart," she pointed out and scratched the puppy behind her ear. She yawned in response and finally settled in John's lap. Her eyes half-closed immediately after John touched her little body.

"Besides," Maya went on, "eight years ago she was ripped from a world where she had a farm to take care of, though it was mostly Dad's job and she just helped, a house and, most importantly, a sixteen years old teenager whose greatest talent was to get into troubles to keep her occupied. What should she do now? With the money we both are going to send her each month she won't have to work and will have a plenty of time for this furry little purpose," she pointed at the beagle.

John turned his eyes to the creature now lying boneless thanks to his caress. "What's the breed?" he asked, his eyes trailing over her mostly white and black body with occasional brown splashes. They lingered on her tail. It was all black except for its end that looked like she dipped it into a bucket of white paint. Her paws were white too, as if she was wearing socks.

"Beagle," Maya said proudly. "Playful, happy, curious and incredibly stubborn."

John's lips curled up. "So you simply bought her a little furry version of you? What's her name anyway?" he asked.

She gave him a look. "You want me to name her?" she asked incredulously. "Have you forgotten Ham? And you could always have a chat with D2. No way. That's Mom's job. She will pick the name. We're going to visit her with Kaidan tonight so she won't stay nameless for long."

"With Kaidan?" John lifted his eyebrows.

"Why not? He's my boyfriend and she's my mother. He doesn't mind. Neither does she. And this one," she jerked her chin towards the sleeping beagle, "will make sure things won't go awkward."

"Devilish," John commented dryly. Then he looked at the pup lying comfortably across his legs and smiled softly.

"Heh, she's getting under your skin, huh? You should have seen Kaidan when I brought her home," Maya smirked. "Well, he was surprised at first, too, but then she gave him one of her toothy smiles and she had him wrapped around her finger." She laughed at the memory. "Anyway, what brings you here?" There had to be a reason why John had so unexpectedly dropped by.

He lifted his eyes to his sister again, his expression thoughtful. "I've heard something and meant to ask you about it. Do you know anything about a project the Alliance wants to work on?"

She shook her head. "What kind of project?"

"I don't know," John admitted and his hand went still in the puppy's fur. "It's all very hush-hush. I though you might know though. I've heard it had something to do with the turians."

May shook her head. "I'm sorry, I've got no idea you're talking about," she said quietly. "Have they started working on the project yet, or are they still just talking about it?"

"Just talking, according to Anderson."

She grinned. "Have they at least asked the turians?"

John shrugged. "Like I said, I know nothing."

She laughed, making John a little bit confused. He failed to see what was so funny about it. "You see, I don't think we have to worry about it for a couple of years yet," she started explaining. "For next two years the brass is going to contemplate on whether or not to give the thumps-up to the project. Next year they are going to try to persuade the turians to join in and they'll spend at least two other years arguing whose idea is better before they actually start working on it. It will swallow incredible amount of time and money so in the end it won't even be worth the trouble."

"Much faith you have in your superiors," John said, but he was smiling, too.

"But it's a good idea," she added. "I meant the cooperation. You know, finally a step to show the war is over and we can actually work side by side without killing each other. Hm…my curiosity awaken, I think I'll inquire a little bit."

John smirked and shook his head. "You just like it because you're head over heels with turians."

"Of course I am," she nodded, sounding seriously. She leaned a little bit closer to him, dropping her voice. "Have you looked at them? The way they are built? Predators. And their eyes give me creeps. The good kind of creeps. Oh, yes, go ahead," she said in her normal voice, straightening and waving a hand in the air. "Call me an alien-lover."

"I think I understand. Anyway," he sighed and looked at the little something in his lap. "Now when I have what I wanted, or rather when I don't, what should I do with this slobbering, sleeping…nameless beagle?"

"Beagles don't slobber, John," Maya said and took the little pup from him, nestling her against her body. She yawned and tensed in May's arms as she tried to stretch. But then she went happily back to slumber nestling closer to the warmth of Maya's body.

"And what is the wet spot on my knee?"

"Are you sure this is where her head was?"

John looked startled for a second and that made Maya laugh. Then he rolled his eyes and stood up. "Say hi to our mother when you see her. And let me know if you hear anything about the project."

"Will do."

...

Anderson, with a thoughtful expression, roamed through the files in his computer. They were files of people chosen for this project, the best of the best. They were exactly what the Alliance needed.

"The only one remaining is your XO," Hackett's voice from behind him stated calmly. "Someone with skills, who can get the job done, but charismatic enough to make even John Shepard listen to him."

"Or her." The last man in the room, standing by the window in a usual at-easy military stance despite not being part of the military, turned around. The lights of traffic outside casted a dark shadow over his face. "And what about the other Shepard?" he asked.

Both soldiers looked at him silently.

The ambassador relaxed, letting his hands fall to his sides. "She grew up in the colonies. She..."

"...knows how tough life can be out there," Anderson nodded, finishing what Udina was about to say. "Her father was killed when slavers attacked Mindoir, her mother kidnapped...and that's not the end of the list," he added with a frown. "But I'm not sure this assignment is for her."

"Why not?" Udina queried. "Because of her brother?" he took a short pause, approaching the two men behind Anderson's desk. "Because of her lover? She's a professional, or so I've heard. Not a single complaint made about her. Not a single misstep in her carrier. Her legend precedes her. Is the legend wrong?"

Anderson didn't answer. No reply was needed. All three of them knew the reputation she'd built for herself was solid.

"She proved herself during the Blitz," Steve said, using the moment of Anderson' hesitating. "Held off the enemy forces on the ground until the reinforcements arrived. Despite the odds, she kept the colonists alive as best as she could with the little she had at her disposal."

Anderson knew all that. She was the only reason Elysium was still standing.

"Isn't that one of the reasons Kryik chose to nominate her as a candidate?" Udina asked, half-smiling. "Because of her drive to protect the innocents and hold the line?"

Nodding, David had to agree. "Nihlus sure did seem impressed."

"This could help her," Hackett said quietly behind David's back. The captain nodded. After all, Nihlus wasn't Saren. The turian seemed honestly interested in Shepard and the possibility of her being made a Spectre. Nihlus was simply one of the turians who didn't resent humanity, but saw the potential they had. And was willing to help them.

"The Normandy's the finest ship the Alliance has," Udina stated, staring at Anderson. "All she's missing is Commander Shepard. Just imagine, both Shepards on one ship. The Normandy would become humanity's flag ship, a symbol of its might. Just as she deserves."

"The ambassador is right. Shepard can do this, Anderson."

David's narrowed eyes focused on Udina who slowly smiled. "I'll make the call."

* * *

I know, I know, nothing actually happened in this chapter. I'm expert at writing long chapters about nothing :D But, as hinted at the end of the chapter, we're finally moving into the first ME and I'm really excited about it. I've been looking forward into it :) And here I've got a question for you. As you all knew from the beginning, May and John would end up on the Normady. Kaidan's there, too, of course. And my question is - since Kaidan is part of John's team, would you like to see the rest of John's team on the Normady as well, or not?

Thank you all for reading and your awesome reviews and thoughts. I love hearing what you think about it :)

See you next time and have you all a very nice day.


	24. Beauty and the Beast

Disclaimer: I don't own ME. Maya's mine though.

* * *

"Trust my sister to have all the comfort of being picked up while the rest of us had to get our asses to the Citadel," John griped as he watched the universe around him get focused again as the ship jumped through the Charon Relay.

Kaidan smiled, turning his head away from him and Joker. "It was on our way anyway. Exodus cluster is just one jump from here," he said, trying not to let the amusement he felt sound in his voice.

Joker, on the other hand, turned in the seat to get a better look at the marine standing behind him, giving him a plain view of his smirk. "Sucks not being the star, huh?" he asked, before turning his attention back at the complex panel controlling the whole ship.

"You forgot Nihlus. He's the Normandy's star, at least for this shakedown run," John reminded him and the pilot's smirk turnout sour. "As if I could forget about him. 'S been sticking his nose under my hands until you came and the bridge started to feel too crowded."

"You can't blame him for curiosity. This is as much his ship as it is ours," Kaidan pointed out.

"First of all, it is my ship," Joker muttered under his breath. "Then Anderson's. Then it belongs to the Alliance and then maybe somewhere on the very bottom of the list are turians. But back to the Spectre. Who knows why we have one on board?" he asked, eyeing John.

He folded his arms over his chest and shrugged. "No idea."

"Spectres are trouble," the pilot spoke up again. "Call me paranoid."

"You're paranoid," Kaidan didn't hesitate to oblige.

"Guys…" John said in a warning tone. "Anderson's coming."

The Normandy's cockpit fell silent immediately, both pilot and co-pilot focusing on their job. It didn't fool the Captain, however, when he joined John's side. "Complaining about Nihlus, Joker?" he asked after a quick exchange of nods with Shepard.

Joker took a deep breath and rolled his eyes, careful not to move his head. "Just wondering about him, sir. ETA in five minutes," he quickly changed the subject. He didn't see his Captain's nod, but heard his steps when he left the bridge, heading to CIC. Joker now finally shook his head. "How did he know?" he asked.

"You were quiet," Kaidan offered his explanation. "It's rare not to hear a smart comment or two from you, unless you want to pretend you're not here."

Again, Joker shook his had. "Or he can read your mind."

"Not even asari can do that. And there's a lot they can do with their minds," John said seriously, earning a curious look from Kaidan. John shrugged with an emotionless expression. "…they say."

...

The Normandy was a beauty and Maya couldn't remember any ship coming anywhere near to her. She was unique, and not only in her appearance. The SSV Normandy was a prototype of a stealth frigate that was born from a close cooperation between the Alliance and Turian Hierarchy. And it was partly paid for by the Citadel Council, Maya though with a smile. Just as she'd told John five years ago, the development of this ship cost enormous amount of money. But she was also wrong at one point - every single credit was worth it. The Normandy was state-of-the-art reconnaissance ship with unique stealth technology and experimental drive core to power it all that even salarian STG wouldn't be ashamed of.

Maya smiled at the ship as she landed smoothly and so silently that if she closed her eyes she wouldn't tell a ship was landing. She grabbed her heavy sport bag and turned away from the large window. Her steps echoed loudly through the familiar boring corridors as she headed towards the ship.

Though initially she'd declined the offer to be part of the baby's crew. When Udina had called her, she already knew about John and Kaidan and her first reaction was to reject the ambassador. He didn't look pleased at all, but took it with political coldness, that made Maya dislike the man more than if he'd honestly told her about his displeasure. She was, after all, a straightforward marine who appreciated honesty, thus hated politicians.

But then Hackett contacted her, carefully insisting she should call the ambassador back and change her mind. He had explained, though while being rather vague about it, that certain things had been put into motion and it was for her sake that she should join the Normandy's crew. She didn't know Udina. But Hackett was someone she knew she could trust. When he would say jump, she'd obediently ask how high.

Maya was surprised to find Captain Anderson waiting for her just outside the airlock. The elder man smiled at her warmly when she stood at attention and saluted him. He returned the gesture and motioned her to get inside. "Welcome on board, Commander," he said.

"It's a pleasure, Captain," she smiled as they both walked inside the airlock. The outer door shut close behind them and the decontamination process started, filling the confined room with an artificial voice of the ship's virtual intelligence.

"I've heard something different," Anderson stated, watching her carefully. The bright light of the airlock's scanners mirrored in his dark eyes.

She smirked. Words travelled fast apparently. "You're talking about how I turned ambassador Udina down," she guessed and he nodded. "Well, I'd never accept an assignment from a politician," she joked about it, but both of them knew the true reason behind her hesitation.

"The crew doesn't know," Anderson started. "I'd like to keep it that way. Regs."

"I understand, sir," she nodded, her face turning serious. "I planned to keep the crew in the dark as for Kaidan even if you didn't ask," she added.

"Good. I'm glad you changed your mind, Shepard."

"Thanks to Admiral Hackett, sir. He should get a job at the recruitment centre. He made it sound so big I simply couldn't refuse."

"It is big," Anderson nodded, looking at the inner door of the airlock.

Knowing the stolen moment of privacy the voice of the Normandy's VI gave them by reciting "decontamination in progress" over and over was almost at its end, she turned her whole body to the Captain. "I'll bite. How big are we talking?"

Anderson regarded her. "Spectre big, Shepard."

Her eyebrows rose, but she didn't have the time to ask what he meant by that when the door to the ship finally opened. The answer was suddenly crystal clear when she stood face to face with a turian wearing black and dark red armour with a few fancy red spot lights. His face was covered with white paint and his small, green eyes quickly assessed her.

She raised her chin slightly and when the turian offered his hand, she accepted it. She appreciated any alien who tried to get to know human customs. "Nihlus Kryik, Special Tactics and Reconnaissance. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Commander Shepard," he said quickly.

Shepard hesitated for a moment. Spectres didn't have any ranks, but you didn't hear anyone calling them "Spectres" when addressing them. "The feeling's mutual, Kryik," she decided to use his last name, just like she would with any other turian, soldier or not. "It's an honour to have a Spectre on board," she added.

Nihlus' eyes flickered to Anderson for a split second. Then the green spots fixed on Shepard's bag. Wordlessly he stepped out of the way, his back to the cockpit, as if ready to follow the two marines wherever they would go.

Maya nodded to him a goodbye, a gesture that the turian returned, and let Anderson lead her down the corridor. At its end, she could see the CIC centre and she smiled faintly. She'd seen the blueprints and knew what to find there. A galaxy map and a place from where the captain of the ship could command the crew. That was a turian touch. It kept the captain among their crew, rather than with the pilot at the bridge of the ship. She liked the idea.

The Normandy's crewmembers ceased whatever they were doing as she and Anderson passed them by, and snapped to attention to salute them. She nodded to each of them, trying to match the faces she saw with the ones Anderson had sent her so that she could know who was who before she even stepped on board. It wasn't any standard procedure. Following example of her first Captain, Frederick Alenko, she simply liked to know whom she worked with.

...

"Wow," Joker laughed, letting out a long breath when Nihlus followed Shepard and Anderson deeper in the ship. "Damn, I knew she was hot, but meeting her in person…have you seen the butt," he asked, turning his head towards his co-pilot. Kaidan's face, however, was turned away from him. So he shifted again to get a better view of John's deadpan face. "You didn't tell me she was such a looker," the pilot reproached him.

"I think we are supposed to take flight again," Kaidan informed Joker, sounding unusually stiffly.

"Working on it," Joker responded, turning his attention at the control panel. His hands started dancing over it, making the piloting of a ship look a way easier than it probably was. The Normandy slowly took off, heading towards the cloudless sky, silent as a predator she was. John had been on a lot of ships, but none had been that quiet.

"I don't see why I should," John shrugged.

"Well, at least we have somebody to look at. No offence, Shepard, but you're not exactly my type."

"I take it my sister is your type?" John said, turning his voice into a question at the end of the sentence, slightly quirking his eyebrow. Kaidan's face, he noticed, was once again turned to the side, but this time John heard his chuckle. He was amused by the whole situation.

"Careful," Kaidan warned Joker, the laughter he'd been trying to contain audible in his voice. "John's overly protective when his sister is concerned. Actually I was surprised when he didn't do anything when you appreciated her…assets."

"Hey, I'm a man. I like to look. Doesn't mean I mean anything by it," Joker said quickly. "Besides, I've seen the last interview with her when the reporter asked about the ring hanging on the chain around her neck together with her dog tags," he added, carefully navigating the ship as she entered the atmosphere. "Lucky bastard, that one, let me tell you."

"Yeah…" Kaidan responded and this time John caught a glimpse at Kaidan's face before he turned his head away. He looked rather smug.

...

The Normandy was a small ship, but that only served her purposes after all. A large, say, dreadnought wouldn't be a very effective stealth ship. But she at least hoped the shore party would get quarters. Instead, she was given a locker for her personal belongings, another one in the Normandy's hangar for her armour and weapons, and a sleeping pod. She hated sleeping pods.

But, of course, there were ulterior motives behind her desire to have quarters. A room with a door that could be closed, and locked on certain occasions, could provide enough privacy for her and Kaidan to steal a few moments for themselves. _Well, the best hiding is always in the plain sight,_ she thought little unhappily as she slowly placed her collapsed Phalanx inside her locker. She took her Mattock from the bag and run her fingers from the muzzle to the rifle's butt lovingly. They'd been through a lot together, first christened during the Blitz, which seemed so long ago. And so was her armour.

The midnight black armour saved her so many times she'd lost count of it. It had been through a few repairs since she'd been given it, but she always kept it in good shape and as upgraded as she could. She knew the armoured enviro-suit and its kinetic barriers were usually the first and the last thing standing between her and a bullet.

And sometimes it was exactly the reason she was aimed at in the first place. Ever since the N7 training and the Blitz she was the one leading, the one giving orders. Even though she wore no special distinguishing features to mark her as a leader – any leader using anything to mark them as such was an idiot and was asking for a bullet between the eyes – but if the unit she was with wore the same armour, usually the standard issued dark blue and black ones, she stood out and thus attracted more attention than she'd would like.

She put the Mattock on its place inside the locker and she'd slammed it shut. Than grabbed her bag and returned to the middle deck to put it inside her other locker, the one for personal belongings. She noticed that the turian Spectre was watching her with his keen eyes, leaning with his shoulder against the wall separating the mess hall from the two stairways leading to the CIC and the bridge.

She narrowed her eyes and calmly closed the locker's door. Now even more than before she had to wonder about why he seemed to stalk her. The only time she wasn't aware of him was when she'd changed from the BDU into her enviro-suit and that was probably the moment he'd taken the lift up a deck to wait for her here. With her eyes on the turian, she walked past him, giving him enough time to talk to her if he wanted. Instead he bend his head slightly in a manner a human would use to look at someone through their eyelashes and it gave him a rather rapacious look.

She wasn't sure how much he knew about human's facial expressions, but just when she was walking him by, she gave him a self-confident smile and a curt nod. And when her eyes focused in front of her again, it was too late to dodge bumping into a young marine who'd just ran down the stairs.

"Sorry, Commander!" he apologized quickly, laying his hand on her arm to steady her. However, when he realized he was touching her, which took him exactly two seconds of staring at his own hand on her arm, he jerked it away as if burnt.

She smiled gently. "No harm done, Corporal Jenkins," she waved her hand while the marine gave her a surprised look. "You know me?"

She nodded. "I make a point of knowing people I work with," she explained quickly.

"Awesome," Jenkins smiled, sounding probably a little too smug. "I mean…when I've been assigned on this mission I didn't know you were there too. It's great to meet you in person."

"Thanks, it's nice to meet you too. You're on the ground team, if I remember correctly, so you're probably going to spend a lot of time with me at least on this mission. It must feel nice coming home," she added by the way.

Jenkins blinked, once again surprised by the way she knew him, and then shrugged. "I guess so. It's a nice place. Very peaceful. But if you lived all your life in such a calm colony you'd…" he trailed off, suddenly looking horrified.

She lifted her eyebrows slightly. "…get tired of it. I know the feeling. But…believe me, Corporal, you don't know what you've got until it's gone."

"I suppose you know what you're talking about," he agreed hesitantly. "I do like Eden Prime, though. Despite what I say sometimes. At night, I used to climb this big hill and stare across the fields back at the lights from the main settlement. It was gorgeous. But I simply…outgrew the place, I guess. It's nice to be here, again, I only wish I knew why the colony is our destination," he suddenly changed the subject. "Sure, it's a good place to take the Normandy for her shakedown run, because there is no real danger. But…" he shifted his weight," I got the feeling something else is going on. We've got a Spectre on board…" he said, lowering his voice a little bit, though not enough for Nihlus to miss it. Shepard realized Jenkins probably couldn't see the turian standing behind the wall from his angle. "That's why I'm so wound up. I can't wait for the real mission to start!"

Shepard smiled at him and turned her head over her shoulder. "You're presence causes quite a stir with the crew, Nihlus," she said, letting her amusement into her voice. Jenkins paled a little when the turian left his hiding spot and assumed place next to Shepard. His predatory eyes bore into the marine.

Shepard decided to save him. "Mind walking me to the bridge, Kryik?" she asked. The turian's eyes focused on her and with a quick gesture of his hand he pointed to the stairway.

"See you later, Corporal," Shepard managed to say before, side by side with Nihlus, headed to the stairs.

"Your familiarity with the crew you've just met is incredible, Commander," Nihlus commented.

And she couldn't resist. "Oh, no. It's just this one. I spent hours staring at his picture, Spectre, completely mesmerized," she said seriously, watching him from the corner of her eye.

The turians mandibles twitched as he chuckled, the sound almost lost to the voice of the Normandy's pilot echoing through the ship as he piloted the beauty towards Charon relay.

"A turian with a sense of humour. Why, Kryik, I'm impressed," she uttered. She smiled gently at a soldier stationed above the stairs who gave her a salute as soon as she and Nihlus emerged from the narrow stairs. They crossed the CIC in brisk pace and soon she stood side by side with her brother with Nihlus stopping just short behind her. The Normandy was just approaching the relay.

John saluted her immediately, which took her by surprise. She recovered quickly and returned the gesture with the same emotionless expression. She held the hand at the side of her head longer than was strictly necessary, enjoying the fact that he couldn't let his arm fall to his sides before she did so. And when she turned her attention front, she caught Kaidan's glance. Unable to do anything else, especially with Nihlus behind her, she resorted to a mere wink. But it was enough to turn the corners of his lips up.

"Hitting the relay in three…two…one…"

Maya squinted against the sharp blue light that enveloped the whole ship and when it grew even brighter, turning to blinding white blaze, she fully closed them.

"Thrusters…check," the pilot's voice made her open them again. The light was coming from behind the ship now, quickly fading to dark blue colour as the relay's rings gradually slowed down.

"Navigation…check…" the pilot, Jeff Moreau if she remembered correctly, went on. She smiled when she noticed he was wearing a baseball cap. He had it on even in the picture Anderson had sent her. Maybe it was a pilot thing, to wear a baseball cap with SR-1 on it, but she liked it. As far as she knew, every helmsman shared a rather intimate relationship with his ship. "Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift…just under 1500 K," he said, sounding satisfied.

"Fifteen hundred is good," Nihlus voice purred into her ear. The turian had to stand really closely behind. "Your captain will be pleased," he stated and turned around. The whole cockpit seemed to wait until he was gone.

"I hate that guy," Joker said as soon as the turian was out of earshot.

Kaidan lifted his eyebrows and looked at he pilot. "Nihlus gave you a compliment…so you hate him." He also glanced at May quickly. He'd never seen her in the black N7 armour before and it looked…exclusive on her. It would look just as exclusive, if not more, on the floor, though.

Joker didn't seem to be thrown by his comment. "You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way out of the bathroom?" he asked, making Maya's eyebrow raise considerably. "That's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead. So that's incredible!"

"I think you're overreacting, Joker," John said calmly and shot his sister a that-is-completely-normal look. "The Council simply wants to keep an eye on their investment. Remember? They put a lot of money into the Normandy."

"Yeah, that's the official story. Only an idiot believes the official story," Joker mumbled.

Maya frowned at that, looking away from the pilot. Not that he could see her with his back to her, but still. Yes, only a fool believed _this_ official story. Apparently the crew had no idea what was going on, but everyone knew there _was_ something going on. Both Hackett and Anderson had hinted as much. And, frankly, Spectre on a shakedown run? That was a huge, flashing sign saying _something big right here!_

She felt a gentle touch on her arm. She met John's questioning eyes. "What?" he mouthed and she shrugged. Then she shifted her weight and looked over her shoulder at a spot where the turian stood not so long ago.

"Do you know something?" Kaidan's voice addressed her and her head snapped to him quickly. "There is more than the Captain's letting on," she admitted hesitantly. "Though I'm not sure what exactly."

Joker snorted, but before he could say anything, the Normandy's comm crackled. "Joker, status report!" Anderson barked out.

Maybe to someone who didn't know him so well it might have sounded like any other order. But John and Maya both suddenly had the feeling it wasn't so.

"Just cleared he mass relay, Captain," Joker informed him promptly as if the harshness in his voice wasn't anything unusual. "Stealth systems engaged. Everything looks solid."

"Good," Anderson stated, thought his voice didn't mirror any relief. "Find a comm buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to the Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime," he added in the same brusque tone.

"Aye, aye, Captain. Better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is headed your way."

"He's already here, Lieutenant," Anderson replied with deliberate slowness, giving Joker time to close his eyes for a moment and shake his head. Yeah, he should have known. "Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm room for a debriefing," the Captain's voice said and the comm channel closed.

"You get that, Commander?" Joker said calmly.

"That sounds bad," Maya mumbled. "He was angry."

Joker snorted. "Captain always sounds like that when he's talking to me," he shrugged it off casually.

"And I can't possibly imagine why," Kaidan said pointedly.

"Something must have gone wrong with the mission," John commented, laying his hand on the small of her sister's back. She looked at him and nodded once. "That's what I'm thinking, too," she responded and turned around. Letting your superior wait was bad enough. Letting an angry superior wait was a catastrophe.

When she walked down the long corridor, she caught a few dialogs of the ship's crewmembers. Jenkins and Joker weren't the only ones who found Nihlus's presence suspicious. Pressley, the Normandy's navigator, wasn't thrilled by the Spectre either, and Jenkins once again shared his worries, this time with the ship's doctor, Chakwas.

Shepard remembered the woman. She'd met her five years ago when her mother had been in her care. It was a good thing to have a doctor you knew you could trust. And Shepard knew Chakwas could be trusted.

_Enthusiastic kid,_ Maya thought with a smile as she left the two of them and finally entered he comm room. She stopped at the door shortly before continuing deeper into it, all traces of her smile gone, when she spotted Anderson wasn't there. Just the turian.

He turned to her and his mandibles twitched slightly. "I was hoping you'd get here first," he said, putting his hands behind his back in the familiar at-ease stance. "It will give us a change to talk."

Maya mimicked his posture, letting him know she wasn't intimidated by him or anything. "What would you like to talk about?" she simply asked, putting on relaxed expression.

"I'm interested in this world we're going to," he said. Maybe his curiosity had been aroused by the overheard dialog between her and Jenkins. Maybe there was something more behind his inquiry.

Either way, she wasn't going to find out by staring at him. "They say it's a paradise," she said, keeping her face the same it was. The advantage, which worked both ways, so it was also a disadvantage, of dealing with different species was how easy they could be misinformed by your body language. Shepard herself didn't have troubles dealing with asari. Salarians were a little more difficult to read, but she still somehow managed. Mostly they were impatient with way other species were slow and there was always something unexpected to be expected of them. But turians…that was a challenge. And she knew Nihlus was thinking about her the same way. So she'd decided to play John Shepard and keep her face robbed of any emotions. Military posture was also very handy, because it left little space for gestures. All she had to be wary of, was the way she might tense her muscles. Usually her shoulders and her neck were a big giveaway. But knowing a problem took you halfway to getting rid of it.

"Yes…a paradise," the Spectre agreed and he started pacing in front of her slowly. "Serene. Tranquil. Safe." How she loved turian voices. "Eden Prime has become something of a symbol for your people, hasn't it?" he asked, stopping and focusing on Shepard again. "Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy, but also protect them. But how safe is it, really?"

Was it a threat? Or an innocent comment? Did he hint at something? Elysium? Mindoir? Did he know about Mindoir? Shepard was sure he knew about Elysium. Just as everyone connected John Shepard to Torfan, Maya had been known for Elysium. For the way she stood her ground, rallied the colonists, saved her comrade's life by sticking her hand into his neck – that was every reporter's favourite, by the way. "The point?" she simply asked, failing to decipher his meaning.

"Your people are still newcomers, Shepard. The galaxy can be a very dangerous place. Is the alliance truly ready for this?" he asked, giving her a very intensive, searching look. Apparently he'd been just as unsuccessful at reading her, just as she'd been assessing him. She liked that.

A door hissed and Anderson walked in the middle of their silent staring contest. Both of them broke the eye contact and focused on the Captain as he swiftly walked in. "I think it's about time we told the Commander what's really going on," he said quickly, sounding almost as brusque as he was with Joker.

Shepard's head snapped back to the turian when he took a breath to speak. "This mission is far more important than a simple shakedown run."

"Figured that much," she simply told him. When it was obvious Nihlus wasn't going to say anything more, she looked at Anderson.

"We're making a covert pick-up on Eden Prime. That's why we needed the stealth system operational."

Maya didn't even blink at the answer. After all, she'd spent ten years in the Alliance. "Need-to-know basis," she said simply. From the corner of her eye she noticed Nihlus nodded once as if pleased. "What are we picking up?"

"A research team on Eden Prime unearthed some kind of a beacon during their excavation," there Anderson made a short pause. "Prothean."

"I see," she said and her yes trailed to the turian in front of her. That would explain a few things. Okay, just one. Why there was a Spectre on board. The Alliance wanted to share this discovery with the Council. A wise decision.

"This is big, Shepard," Anderson said. "The last time humanity made a discovery like this, it jumped our technology forward two hundred years. But Eden Prime doesn't have the facilities to handle something like this."

"We're bringing it to the Citadel," she gathered. "That's why Nihlus is here."

At the moment the turian made a step forward, attracting Shepard's attention once again. "Obviously, this goes beyond mere humans interests, Commander. This discovery could affect every species in Council space." A short pause and Nihlus narrowed his eyes ever so slightly at Shepard as if he was extra interested in her reaction now. "Though the beacon is not the only reason I'm here Shepard."

"Nihlus wants to see you in action, Commander," Anderson spoke up again, but for some reason Shepard felt the need to hold Nihlus' gaze. "He's here to evaluate you."

She didn't move for a second, letting the words sink. Then, very slowly she turned her head to Anderson. "Well, that explains why I bump into him every time I turn around," she said calmly, but the Captain frowned slightly. Maybe she hadn't managed to keep her face emotionless and something of her inner shock, which was closer to terror than pleasant surprise, must have surfaced.

"The Alliance has been pushing for this for a long time. Humanity wants a larger role in shaping interstellar policy. We want more say with the Citadel Council," he started explaining. Maybe she hadn't slipped. Maybe he was simply that good in reading her. Or he just knew her that well. "The spectres represent the council's power and authority. If they accept a human into their ranks, it shows how far the Alliance has come." Or maybe he wasn't trying to convince her at all. Maybe he was just stating all the obvious advantages of having a human Spectre.

"You held off an enemy assault during the blitz single-handed," Nihlus praised her. She was right - everyone knew about Elysium. Though apparently they all had decided to discard all the colonists, five Mako vehicles and their drivers who'd helped her during the battle. "You showed not only courage, but also incredible skill. That's why I put your name forward as a candidate for the Spectre."

And there…there she lost it. Her eyes widened, her posture stiffened and she looked at Anderson as if asking him to confirm – or disprove – what the turian had just said.

Nihlus made a turian equivalent of a smile, pleased.

She took a deep breath, buying herself time to collect what dignity she had left from the crushing defeat, before she looked Nihlus in the eyes again. "Why would a turian want a human in the Spectres?" she asked incredulously.

"Not all turians resent humanity. Some of us see the potential of your species. We see what you have to offer to the rest of the galaxy and to the Spectres. We are an elite group. It's rare to find an individual with the skills we seek. I don't care that you're human Shepard. I only care that you can do the job," he said simply.

Maya turned her eyes to Anderson.

"Earth needs this, Shepard. We're counting on you," he said.

"Of course," Nihlus started speaking again, "I need to see your skills for myself, Commander. Eden Prime will be the first of several missions together."

"You'll be in charge of the ground team," Anderson instructed her. "Secure the beacon and get it onto the ship ASAP. Nihlus will accompany you to observe the mission," he added, exchanging a quick look with the Spectre.

There was no need to delay this any longer. "Just give the word, Captain."

"We should be getting close to Eden Pr…"

"_Captain?"_ Joker stepped in. _"We've got a problem…"_ his voice sounded urgent.

"What's wrong, Joker?" Anderson asked curtly, looking up at the ceiling as if he could see the pilot's face hovering above them.

"_Transmission from Eden Prime, sir. You better see this…"_

"Bring it up on screen," the Captain ordered and all three of them involuntarily stepped closer to the end of the room. A bad quality video brightened the comm room, filling it with gunfire. There was a marine, but he got shot the moment the camera focused on him. Then someone appeared in the shot, white and pink armour shining on the dark screen. "Get down!" a sharp voice commanded and the camera fell to the ground. More gunfire and then someone's face stared at them. "We are under attack! Taking heavy casualties. I repeat. Heavy casualties. We can't…" the video stirred, making the marine's words unintelligible. "…eed evac! They came out of nowhere. We need…" the man suddenly stopped, his eyes widening and focusing somewhere above the camera. Another marine in the shot was staring with his mouth hanging open, his rifle sinking from his shoulder. The world spun and there it was – a huge, black, cuttlefish-like…something. A ship? Then the video ended abruptly.

_"Everything cuts out after that. No comm traffic at all. Just goes dead. There's nothing,"_ Joker commented.

"Reverse and hold at thirty eight point five," he ordered and the pilot obliged. They were once again staring at the ship.

Even Nihlus looked surprised and baffled.

And Shepard thought that just as the Normandy was Beauty, this ship was the Beast. And it just made the mission a much more complicated.

* * *

The Normandy! I love the girl :) Yeah, I was looking forward to moving to ME1. Hey! Who was surprised by the quick update? I was! O:-) I tried to be really quick about it, since it's my birthday tomorrow and I wanted to give you a gift...but I was quicker than I thought I would and I see no reason why the chapter should just sit in my computer, moping and frowning at me for not publishing it. So here it is, hoped you enjoyed it at least a bit ;)

Thank you for reading everyone and enjoy your day and hold on! Tomorrow's Friday!


	25. A warning

I don't own ME.

* * *

The platform fell silent as the last sounds of gunfire died away and Ashley carefully rose behind her cover. The geth's and Husks' dead holey bodies were lying scattered across it where they fell when one of the marines managed to hit them. Shooting them with two Sentinels who'd first got rid of their shields was a lot easier then what she'd had to put up with before Commander Shepard's team had found her.

The Commander had already jumped over the crate she'd been hiding behind to make sure they were really dead and the other two marines followed, their posture relaxed, completely trusting her to finish off any surviving geth or those zombies.

"That was a great job, Commander," Ashley commented and crouched to the Husk closest to her to examine it. To her horror she realized that its features still resembled one of the colonists. She didn't know his name, but could remember him. He'd worked at the spaceport, but now… She gulped and stood up quickly, trying to forget the empty eyes, the face larded with electronics and transparent tubes. A dark blue liquid was in those tubes. It had fluoresced when the thing had been still alive.

A bark of her Mattock punctuated the silence as Shepard shot two bullets into Husk she stood above, her face emotionless. Then she finally collapsed the rifle and snapped it to its slot. "You weren't all bad yourself, Chief," she replied in professional voice and shot a quick glance towards the object they had found at the dig site. And suddenly Ashley noticed that she was holding the Mattock in her left hand. But she could swear the Commander had been holding in her right hand.

"Our work here is done," Maya said and paid a glance to the beacon before turning her back to it. She lifted her hand to her helmet to contact the ship.

Unlike Shepard, both Lieutenants still stared at the beacon. John was frowning, but Kaidan looked intrigued. "Amazing, isn't it?" Ashley asked when she walked to them. So they stood there, staring at the strange, unknown device that emanated eerie green light. Only a few steps parted the beacon and the group and Ashley suddenly shuddered. Something about it made her skin crawl.

"Unbelievable," one of them responded. Kaidan, that's how the Commander had called him. Ashley blinked. Only now she realized how weird it was that she used his first name. She doubted Kaidan was his last name.

"A functioning Prothean technology," Kaidan added, seemed really fascinated by it.

"This isn't how I imagined the beacon to look like," John Shepard commented, folding his hands over his chest. He turned around and headed to the Commander, leaving Kaidan and Ashley together.

When he joined her, she was calling Joker. Despite knowing he simply had no way to see her, she nodded at something he said. "Thanks, Joker. No need to rush, though. The site is clear. Shepard out," she closed the comm channel and turned to John standing beside her. She grinned. "Twenty five headshots," she said in low voice, reminding him suddenly very vividly of Tanya. This was her game and apparently had told his sister. "Six of them Husks. It was damn difficult to hit those bastards," she shook her head and her eyes travelled back to the beacon.

They widened and she pushed John aside abruptly, nearly knocking him off his feet as he hadn't expected it. She didn't say anything. Speaking was a waste of energy. She simply darted forward. What happened then was very quick. Kaidan had been staggering forward the beacon and yet trying to get away, when she caught him by his waist. Using the momentum of her speed, she managed to shove him away. Suddenly she felt her feet leave the ground and then she heard the most ear-splitting, high-pitched scream that almost made her head burst. It turned into grow immediately and she could feel it vibrate within her chest as a sequence of images flashed in front of her. It didn't make sense. None of it made sense and her head was killing her. The images, full of creatures with four eyes she'd never seen before being killed, butchered by hundreds, thousands by...by whatever was screeching so much. It was giant, enormous and…and…she wanted to closer her eyes, but her body didn't respond to her.

But suddenly her eyes were closed and she could see bright light through her eyelids. Her head was killing her and she felt sore all over. She felt she was about to black out when a pressure on her hand brought her to present and she fought her heavy eyelids to finally open.

…

When May's body stopped tumbling, Kaidan finally managed to wriggle free of Ashley's hold and he rushed to her side. Turning her on her back, he quickly turned on his omnitool to scan her vitals.

"Joker, this is Shepard," John immediately contacted the ship, kneeling on the other side of his sister's limp body. "Make it a double time, guy, and tell Chakwas to get ready. May…the Commander's been hurt…" he said in steady voice as if not speaking about his sister at all, but some stranger. He shut the channel before the pilot could respond, and his eyes focused on Kaidan's face.

Kaidan closed his eyes and let out a long breath. "She's alive." His voice was trembling. So were his hands that moved to carefully take her helmet off.

Ashley, standing above them, suck in the air when she spotted a trickle of blood running from her nose. She frowned and looked at remains of the beacon. It had exploded and one second the flames had swallowed her. An instant later, she'd emerged from the flames as the shock wave tossed her back.

A wind rose suddenly and they all looked above them. Normandy slowed down and turned around."He's never going to fit her in here," Ashley quickly stated. "The platform's too small," she added and grabbed Shepard's helmet.

Kaidan immediately reached under May and lifted her into his arms gently, his eyes on her pale face. This was his fault.

"Get her down, Joker, and open the airlock. We'll jump in," John ordered and in grimmer voice added. "What remains of the beacon can wait and no one else is coming."

The decontamination took always exactly the same time, but as Kaidan watched his fiancé's white face, he had the feeling they were in the small airlock for twice as long this time. His eyes searched her. She'd come through the whole colony, dozens of geth and Husks, she'd saved as many colonists as she could, found Nihlus' corpse with a huge hole in his skull, deactivated the bombs set to blow up the whole colony, all this without a single scratch. And because of him, because of his stupidity, she'd been knocked unconscious by a strange, unknown device that could have done anything to her.

He closed his eyes, but couldn't get rid of the imagine of her in the air, held by some unfamiliar force of the beacon. Her whole body twitching as if in cramps as she tried to fight the hold, her head thrown back, hands fisted firmly. She didn't make a sound the whole time, but it was plain to see, whatever it was doing to her, it made her suffer. And he was the one to blame.

When the inner door finally opened, he ran deeper inside the ship, ignoring all the gazes the crewmembers gave him. He even ignored the Captain as he rushed down the stairs, careful not to bump her head or legs into walls. And when he was ushered out of the infirmary, he collapsed with his back to the wall just outside the door, sliding down the wall until he sat.

He wasn't left alone for long as a pair of black military shoes stepped into his view. He didn't stand up, however. He just didn't care about the right military protocol at the moment. "It's my fault she is in there, Captain," he told Anderson's shoes.

"What happened?" he asked and Kaidan was glad someone else responded. "The beacon…" John started and immediately found himself at loss for words. His steps echoed as he walked heavily from the stairway. "It pulled her to it and lifted in the air. Then exploded and knocked her cold." John voice was empty, the kind of empty he always used when trying his best to bury something stirring inside him. "We brought a marine from Eden Prime, sir. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, who helped us through the colony," John reminded him, sounding a little better when he focused on business instead of his sister.

Anderson didn't say anything, but his legs retreated quickly, heading to the upper deck. Kaidan didn't lift his head when someone else appeared in his vision field. John crouched in front of him. "Did Chakwas say anything?" he asked, his icy blue eyes bearing into Kaidan.

But all he could do was to shake his head helplessly. "She just told me to get out."

John was silent for a moment. "Well, I'm no doctor, but she had no visible injury…"

"The nosebleed?"

"Biotics? Despite the implants, she's bleeding when she overdoes it. Maybe whatever it was that held her in the air, messed up with her implants and…" he stopped right there. "Which wouldn't probably be very good," he added in much darker tone, closing his eyes and pressing his fingers into them. Yeah, they both could remember the day she'd almost died. "But she was breathing, wasn't she?"

Kaidan nodded. "She looked like she was sleeping, you know? Like this day when she was fast asleep on the couch. She'd been writing a report and it was late and she was tired from hours of travelling from the Citadel to Earth. She'd promised to join me in bed soon, but she didn't come so I went to check up on her. And she was sleeping like a child, curled to a foetus position ," he chuckled at the memory. "She didn't wake up when I lifted her up and get to bed, or when I took off her clothes. Just…murmured my name and smiled as if she knew. She slept for almost forty hours."

"Yeah, she told me she can be up for days, but when she finally has a minute to sleep, nothing would wake her up," John agreed and suddenly regretted something. Even with more or less long distance relationship, Kaidan and Maya had probably spent more time together then the two siblings. Ever since he'd been on the mission to wipe out whatever Cerberus bases they could find, they didn't have much time to indulge in each other's company. Sure, they were in touch. Emails, calls, but that wasn't the real thing.

She should have hated him for the way he'd treated her when she needed him most, right after Mindoir. Lena had been right about that. But instead, Maya loved him and trusted him…which, unfortunately, didn't stop her from shamelessly gossiping about him with Lena. And, of course, she passed all the information to their mother. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hand.

Their mother was not exactly a happy thought at the moment. The last time Maya and she had seen each other was when she had told her about Kaidan's proposal two months prior. And now John should call her and tell her she'd been knocked out by explosion of an incredibly old, unfamiliar alien device that no one knows anything about?

John frowned and looked at his friend. He looked miserable enough and so John tried to put on a determined face. "She's going to be fine," he said finally. "She's been through worse."

Kaidan lifted his eyes to him. "That was a foreign technology, John," he rasped out. "We have no idea what it did to her before it exploded. Didn't you see her?" he asked, rubbing his face with both his hands as if it could somehow get rid of the images flashing in front of his eyes.

John didn't say anything. Of course he'd seen her.

"I'll never forget it. Damn…one second everything is relatively fine, just an ordinary shakedown run, and then everything is suddenly so fucked up!" he snarled angrily. Kaidan seldom swore, and that he'd just done it twice in a row meant he was on verge of losing it. "Jenkins dead, Nihlus dead, the beacon destroyed and May…"

"…hurt," John cut him off firmly. "She'd had a pneumothorax during N4 training, remember? And she not only finished it, but performed so well they invited her again. A little explosion can't kill her. Her kinetic barriers surely shielded her from most of the damage."

"I'm not worried about the explosion, but about whatever that goddamned beacon did to her," he growled, his hands shaking.

"May's tough. And stubborn. Too stubborn to die, she loves to say, huh? And you know what? I believe it. Even if something did manage to kill her, I'm sure she'd come back and kicked its ass as payback. That's how strong she is."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

John frowned. "One of us has to have faith in her," he said and stood up. "I'll go check Anderson and Williams. "

…

John found the two marines talking in the CIC. Ashley was just describing what exactly happened to Anderson and when she noticed John, she frowned a little bit. Anderson followed her gaze and lifted his eyebrows when he spotted Shepard.

"How is the Commander?" she asked immediately.

He shrugged. "Chakwas didn't tell us anything. But I trust her to do her best," he added, trying not to sound like Kaidan. He took a quick breath and looked at his CO. "Sir, I'll take care of Chief Williams," he offered immediately. "I'm sure you'd have better luck finding out how your XO's doing, provided the Doc will let you in. And maybe it would be nice if someone was there with her while she's unconscious. You know, talking to her. They say it helps," John said and hoped Anderson would understand he really meant: "Make sure Chakwas allows Kaidan to be with her."

When Anderson disappeared down the stairs, Ashley shot him a questioning look.

"I'm not sure what the Captain plans with you, but for now you stick with us," John told her. "Come, I'll show you around the ship." Okay, this was more for him then her. He needed to keep himself occupied with something so that he wouldn't think about whatever was happening in the infirmary. But then he looked at her and frowned. Worrying over his sister he'd forgotten someone else just had a very rough day. "But you're not probably interested in a tour, right? How are you holding up? Watching your whole unit being wiped out couldn't be pleasant."

She made a face, but didn't flinch or look away from him. "We're marines, sir. That comes with the job. People like us die quite often. It's the civilians that are bad."

John nodded. "I know what you mean. Unfortunately, civilians die even more often," he said quietly. Eden Prime was full of dead civilians now.

"I'll never get used to it. Especially if it's someone I knew. I'm…I'm just glad you were down there. You helped a lot," she nodded her thanks, meaning it. "Things were really bad, but you cut through them like…" she trailed off and John used the moment to speak. "You were a good asset on the team, too."

She smiled hesitantly. "Thank you, sir. It's nice to…I mean…Captain Anderson said he'd have me on the crew, but I wasn't sure."

"You'll be once you see the Normandy and meet her crew, especially the pilot's golden. When we're not worrying about our XO, we're quite a friendly bunch of people," he repeated the offer to show her around. When they walked down the stairs, John noticed Kaidan wasn't waiting in front of the infirmary anymore. He doubted he would just get up and go have a shower or something, so Anderson must have understood his hint.

Now all they could do was wait and hope May would win this battle.

…

She did look like she was just sleeping. Which was pretty much what Chakwas had told him, too. Her body wasn't hurt and the only abnormal thing about her was her brain activity. From time to time Kaidan could see her eyes moving behind her closed eyelids as if she was dreaming. But she didn't move or make any sounds. She was stable and that was important.

It was more important than his growling stomach. He wanted to be there when she would wake up and nothing would make him move from the spot. He was holding her hand, which was unusually cold and limp in his, but he needed to touch her. His eyes examined her face over and over and sometimes they rested on the piece of chain showing from beneath her BDU. It had both her dog tags on it, and the ring he gave her. And she accepted it. And when asked about it, she had joked like she usually did: _"Well, not all men are intimidated by me."_ But it was what she'd added that touched Kaidan. "_On a more serious note, it's a sign that there is at least one place where I don't have to be the Commander."_

No, he couldn't lose her now. He sighed and rested his brow against her side, gripping her hand as if the force itself could wake her up.

When the door opened to his left, he ignored it. Until a quiet voice sounded right next to him: "It's been fifteen hours. Here, you need to eat something," doctor Chakwas laid a plate with a sandwich on it on a bed behind behind Kaidan's back.

"You said she was fine. Why isn't she waking up yet?" Kaidan asked impatiently instead, his eyes never leaving her serene face. Her eyes had started to move again.

"I don't know," the doctor told truthfully. "And I'm afraid I have no way to find out with the beacon destroyed." She sounded apologetically.  
Kaidan sighed and looked away from her, using his other hand to cover May's, too. He flinched when the doc touched his shoulder gently. "But she is going to wake up. You're not going to lose her." Only a blind fool would miss that there was something going on between the Lieutenant and the Commander. He didn't even try to conceal it, as worried as he was.

Yes, Kaidan was beyond caring if anyone knew at the point. He closed his eyes, taking a slow breath to answer, when suddenly he felt May's cold fingers move inside his palms. His eyes snapped open as he sprung to his feet. Maya frowned slightly and turned her head to one side slowly.

"Doctor…" Kaidan managed to say before May opened her eyes. Not that it was necessary. She'd been right next to him and seen her waking up. She quickly walked around the bed to get better access as May's eyelids fluttered and finally opened.

At first her eyes seemed distant for a moment, but they quickly focused and when she noticed him a beautiful smiled crossed her lips. "Kaidan…" she whispered his name and moved to sit up slowly. He helped her up and cupped both her cheeks. He kissed her gently, fighting the urge to crush her against him and never let go again.

She touched him on his chest lightly and he pulled away. "Never do this to me again," he said softly, his thumbs caressing her cheeks gingerly. He was pleased to see the colour slowly returning to her face.

"The Lieutenant speaks for us all," Chakwas' voice said gently. "You had us worried for a moment. How are you feeling?"

"Fine now…" she mumbled as Kaidan gathered her into his embrace. She rested her chin on his shoulder. "How…how long was I out?" she asked, focusing her eyes on the doctor standing on the other side of her bed. She had a mild smile on her face as she watched them. And suddenly Maya wanted to push Kaidan away. Not that she was uncomfortable with someone watching them, after all they didn't do anything, but Chakwas was a crew and Shepard was her second in command and Kaidan was May' subordinate and this simply wasn't appropriate and…

But she couldn't do it, not when she focused on the way his hands held her firmly, desperately. "Fifteen hours," he murmured into her ear, pulling away. His hands, however, stayed on her waist, gently running them up and down her ribs.

May smiled at him and touched the side of his neck. "Could you bring Anderson? I'm pretty sure he feels the need to let me know just how much we screwed up down there," she tried to joke despite herself. She could still see the dark blue pool under Nihlus' head, still liquid and warm, his green eyes staring unbelievingly at the morning sky. And then another image flashed in front of her eyes and she closed them to press her fingers into them for a moment. When she looked back at Kaidan, he was frowning. "And John. I'm sure he was worried, wasn't he? If not I'm throwing away his Christmas present."

He smiled at her…for a moment before the scowl settled in again. "You sure you're…"

She silenced his worries with a kiss and then rested her cheek against his. "Yes. Don't worry about me. I'm tougher than that," she purred in his ear. Knowing what it would do to him, her lips were casually touching his earlobe as she spoke and when she finished she nipped at it gently. Yeah, she played dirty. After all, Chakwas couldn't see what she was doing, so why not? Then she gave him another relaxed smile, sliding her hands down his shoulders and chest. He was reluctant to go, but eventually left the infirmary and the moment he did Shepard's smile slipped from her face.

"So how really are you?" Chakwas asked knowingly.

"About to ask you to cut off my head how much it throbs," Shepard said, sounding tired. "Okay, that was a little exaggerated. It's not that bad." Then she took a deep breath and looked into those grey and green eyes. "I've got a favour to ask, Doc. Could you…keep what's between me and Kaidan for yourself? I don't think it would be good if the rest of the crew knew."

She smiled and approached Shepard's bed. "The rumours are already all around, Commander. Half of the crew believes the Lieutenant feels simply guilty, the other thinks he has a crush on you."

"Isn't it sweet…" May sighed, touching her brow once again as if it could kill the pain. "How did I end up here actually? I remember calling Joker, the rest is fuzzy," she admitted and Chakwas' eyebrows knitted together. "Something happened down with the beacon," she started talking slowly. "The Lieutenant is strongly convinced it was his fault."

"What? Why would he…" Maya narrowed her eyes when she remembered. "I pushed him out of the way when he got too close to the beacon. Ah…yes, that explains it. Kaidan…" she sighed. Of course he blamed himself.

"Truth is we don't know what exactly happened to you," the doctor went on. "And with the beacon destroyed I'm afraid we'll never find out."

Shepard's attention snapped to her quickly, intensifying the acute pain. "Destroyed?!" she gasped. She groaned and covered her face for a moment. "And here I thought things couldn't get any worse when we found Nihlus' body…"

"You were caught in the explosion. You fell unconscious and your team had to carry you to the ship." She made a short pause for Shepard to absorb all the information. "Physically you are fine, but the whole time you were out the readings detected unusual brain activity. Abnormal beta waves."

Shepard blinked and swung her legs down from the bed. "I'm just a marine, Chakwas. I know how to stop a massive bleeding on the field or extract a piece of shrapnel without causing any further damage, but that's all. What are beta waves?"

The doctor smiled softly. "One of four kinds of waves our brain produces. Namely beta waves are emitted when we are consciously alert, agitated, tense or afraid," she explained. "I also noticed an increase in your rapid eye movement, signs typically associated…"

"…with dreaming," Shepard finished for her. This she knew. And even if she didn't…" I was dreaming. Or…I don't know. It didn't feel like a dream. And it didn't make much sense." How could you explain something you didn't fathom yourself? "There was destruction and death. It was…unclear."

"Hm…" Chakwas hummed, touching her chin thoughtfully. "I better add this to my report."

The door hissed and both women looked at Kaidan and Anderson walking inside. "Captain Anderson," Chakwas greeted him.

Maya straightened when he approached them and tried to wipe all traces of her physical discomfort from her face.

Anderson looked at her casually, and then focused on Chakwas. "How is our XO holding up, doctor?" he asked. Maya didn't like when people talked about her like she wasn't present, but it was Anderson and she could forgive him.

"All the readings look normal," Chakwas said. "I say the Commander's going to be fine."

"Glad to hear it," Anderson nodded and then finally looked at Shepard. "I need to speak with you," he said and then looked at Chakwas and Kaidan. "In private."

_Well…at least I don't have to worry about being a Spectre,_ Shepard thought grimly while the doctor and Kaidan left the infirmary.

Only when they were gone, Anderson's face relaxed a bit. "Sounds like the beacon hit you pretty hard, Maya. You sure you're okay?"

Maya. He'd called her Maya. But this time she couldn't bring herself to smile like she usually did. "I'm far better than Jenkins," she said with her eye fixed on the floor between them. She took a breath to speak again, and then hesitated, unable to find the right words. "I just…don't like people dying on me. I could have…"

"Jenkins wasn't your fault," he said gently.

"I was his CO at the moment, sir. His life was my responsibility and I failed him."

"I know you haven't lost many men under your command, but people die in missions like that."

"That doesn't diminish their importance, sir."

He smiled at her response. "You're a good soldier, Shepard. If everyone in the Alliance thought like you, we'd have less to worry about."

"Well," she sighed. "Now you praised me, so I guess it's high time to turn the coin and focus on the bad stuff. The mission was a disaster."

Anderson's features turned all business and he put his hands behind his back, lifting his chin up slightly. "I won't lie to you, Shepard," he started. "Things look bad. Nihlus is dead, the beacon is destroyed and geth are invading. The Council's going to want answers."

"Easier said then done, sir. At least we can explain Nihlus' death, though. We had an eyewitness who saw another turian, Saren, shoot him when Nihlus let his guard down around him. They knew each other. But the beacon…" she shook her head.

Anderson nodded. He'd already heard this version three times. "And this is exactly why I'm here," he said darkly. "Saren, the other turian, is a Spectre, too. One of the best. He's dangerous and he hates humanity and if he's been behind this attack it means he's gone rogue. But it will be your word against his and try to guess whom the Council will be inclined to believe. Eyewitness or not, it is bad."

Shepard took a deep breath. "Damnedfuckingpolitics…" she wheezed as one word when she breathed out again. "Sorry, sir," she added immediately, though Anderson didn't look offended. "Does the Council know about Saren's animosity towards us? It could help if they knew he holds grudges."

Anderson shook his head. "A lot of aliens think we're growing too fast. The Council won't hold his opinion against him. He's free to think whatever he wants. The results are important and his results were always good."

Shepard frowned and stuck her hands into her pockets while leaning against the bed with her hips. "Yeah, results liked setting several charges to blow up the whole colony?" she asked.

"Your word against his," the Captain repeated simply. "Unless you have a solid proof of his cooperation with the geth. And no, witnesses don't count. They can be bribed or threatened. Not to mention the colonists were traumatized by the whole attack."

Maya bit her lip, frowning. "Well, maybe we'll find something. He didn't bother hiding his presence, hoping the charges would destroy everything. The massacre, those husks, geth…even the beacon." She shuddered involuntarily.

"Did you notice anything before it exploded?" he asked. "Anything that might tell us what he was after?"

She dropped her eyes. "I don't even remember the explosion. Just…the vision or whatever it was," she closed her eyes and was rewarded with the images once again. She shook her head, then stopped when it hurt again.

"Vision?"

She waved her hand. "I saw something when the beacon caught me before I blacked out. Death, destruction…four eyes. I remember four-eyed creatures dying. Something…" she paused for a moment. "Synthetics," she specified, suddenly very sure about it. "I saw synthetics slaughtering them and this felt like a warning of some sort," she shrugged. Weird. Now when she was up, it all became much clearer. "Yeah, it was a warning."

The Captain's answer surprised her. "We need to report it to the Council, Shepard," he said in sombre voice and she laughed. "What? That I had a bad dream? Come on, Anderson. They won't believe a witness and they should believe a dream?"

"We're talking about ancient, unknown Prothean technology," he said slowly. "Something of importance might have been stored inside and we can't underestimate what little we have, especially if it's something Saren was interested in, too. Something he has. Whatever it is, a weapon, a blueprints, whatever, he will use it together with all the geth under his command to wipe us from the face of the galaxy. And believe me. He will do it given a chance. We need to have the Council on our side if we want to stop him."

She contemplated his words for a moment. "I think we simply need to take him down," she said eventually, and sighed. "But he's a Spectre and that means all the best equipment and authority. How can one take down a Spectre?"

"That's why we need the Council so that they would revoke his Spectre status."

She smiled and straightened again. "We'll do it. I'm sure he's made some mistake and we just need to find it. And we will find it."

Anderson returned the smiled, looking proud. "That's what I like about you, Maya. Nothing's impossible for you." Then he turned from being her friend back to being her Captain. "I'll contact the Ambassador Udina and see if he can get us an audience with the Council. He wants to see us as soon as we reach the Citadel. We should be there shortly, so pull yourself together in the meantime."

"Aye, aye, sir," she saluted him and watched him leave the infirmary. Slowly she followed him.

…

They were quite close to the Citadel. She just managed to take a shower and wolf down something in the mess and she had to head to the hangar to gear up again. John and Kaidan were already there when she stepped out of the elevator. They both shot her a worried look, but she'd already talked to them and told them she was okay, so she ignored them now. She changed quickly, noticing John and Kaidan, who were already done, were wasting their time chatting. When she snapped her weapons to her armour and looked back at them, John was gone and only Kaidan stood in front of the lockers.

Yeah…how very inconspicuous. Actually, maybe it was. Only she knew why Kaidan had stayed behind, so she viewed it as not so subtle. Other people in the hangar, however, didn't even seem to notice.

It was, of course, a great happenstance they both walked into the elevator at the same time. And even bigger one when Kaidan's finger by chance hit the stop button. They were both quiet, unsure what to say, so May decided to ease the atmosphere a little. "You know, this is just weird. An hour ago, I was wearing this armour, shooting geth and husks and even though I don't remember taking it off, here I was, putting it on again," she smiled at him.

He looked at her sadly.

"Come on," she whispered and crossed the elevator to him. With her hands on his chest she pushed him until the wall stopped him and kissed him. His hand immediately tangled into her hair as he tilted her head gently.

"That was a joke," she mumbled against his lips. "You were supposed to relax. It's when I don't make jokes, that it's bad," she explained and touched his forehead with hers.

"I was terrified, Maya."

"But I'm fine now," she insisted.

"Yeah, but you might not have. Because of me."

Her shoulder slumped slightly and she took a slow breath. "There is a rumour going around the ship," she said, her fingers playing with his hair absentmindedly. "You acted the way you did when you brought me on board because you either felt incredibly guilty or were in love with me. Since I _know_ you are head over heels in love with me, the other option simply must be off," she smiled gently.

He took a breath to speak and she quickly closed the distance between them, capturing his lower lips between her teeth gently. Then she kissed him again. "No. I don't blame you and so don't blame yourself either."

His hands hesitantly encircled her waist, pulling her closer when he finally smiled. "Is that an order, Commander?"

She laughed gently, resting her hands on his sides. "Are you flirting with me, Lieutenant?"

"Wouldn't think about it. You're my commanding officer, Commander. It's against regs."

"Regs are meant to be broken…" she grinned, but when Kaidan wanted to kiss her again, she moved away, "but later, please. Let's not start something we can't finish," she said, giving him an apologetic look. She hit the button again and the elevator started moving slowly. She cleared her throat and combed her hair with her fingers, stepping to the centre of the small cabin. She glanced at what Kaidan was doing and she froze. "Why are you looking at me like that? Kaidan…what exactly are you thinking about?" she asked him.

"That I believe you capable of blocking this elevator for hours if it came to it," he responded in quiet voice.

"Nope. I can a do a lot, but not this. This elevator is the only way to the hangar."

Pushing himself from the wall, Kaidan approached May and rested both his hands on her neck. "They could always use the emergency shafts, ladders or whatever…" He bent to kiss her, closing her eyes. "That would be something."

"Over my dead body. No…not here," she laughed, grateful the elevator was so incredibly slow. But then it suddenly stopped and they stepped away from each other just in time before the door opened.

It revealed Ashley waiting in front of it, looking impatient. "The elevator takes eternity," she complained and got in, just as the couple walked out. "Believe me, it's even worse when you're inside," Maya assured her and paid her a soft smile. "By the way…welcome on board. I've heard you're part of the crew now. "

Ashley nodded, smiling hesitantly. "Yes. Captain Anderson has reassigned me to the Normandy."

"At least something positive about this day. We need more marines like you, Williams. And…thanks for your help, down there. Now, don't let me delay you any longer than I've already done."

"No problem, Commander," Ashley nodded, oblivious to what she really meant. And when the door closed behind her, May giggled, turning to Kaidan. "You know, thanks to you I don't think I'll ever be able to look at any elevator with a straight face."

"I'm glad you're okay," he whispered back.

Just like respectable Lieutenant and his Commander, they walked up the stairs and through the CIC. Kaidan stopped next to John who was chatting with Pressly, but stopped to give a bear hug to his sister when she was about to pass him by. She didn't struggle, knowing how rare moments like this were. John loved her, but he hardly ever displayed it so openly. After he let go, she continued to the bridge.

When she stopped behind the pilot's seat, Joker gave her a strange look over his shoulder.

She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm fine, Joker."

"I'm sure you are, Commander," he responded with highly bemused and mischievous expression. But only for a second. "It's terrible what happened to Jenkins though. I like the kid."

"I didn't know him that much, but he seemed a decent guy," Shepard agreed.

"Yeah…he was," Joker agreed quietly. For a second they both watched the Citadel in front of them. Maya usually liked the sight, but now it made her queasy.

Something of her feelings must have mirrored on her face, because Joker suddenly nodded. "Yeah. That's one of the moments I'm glad I'm just a helmsman."

She smiled and touched his shoulder. "Actually I think it will be great fun."

"Sure," he snorted. "Let's ask you after you come back, okay, Commander?"

She laughed and playfully cuffed his shoulder. "Oh, come on. I'm your superior and I'd have your back anytime. Now it's me who needs a little support. I'm going to fight politicians."

"You have my condolences."

Oh, she already loved the guy.

…

The day in the Presidium was, like always, sunny and warm with a soft breeze blowing all your worries away…or at least trying, but it didn't work much on May. Growing up on a colony, she was never fooled by it. When she closed her eyes, she could always feel the difference. It didn't smell like a fresh air should. Sure, it was nice enough, better than what was in the wards, but still not good enough to compare to what the air smelled like on Mindoir.

And this particular day it was even worse. John, Ashley and Kaidan were leaning against the handrail with their elbows, watching speeders swoosh by them almost soundlessly. They were watching the traffic and people seething deep below them in the Presidium with awe that made one think they'd never been here before.

Maya, however, was not interested in the beautiful sights the Presidium had to offer. She stood behind her CO, hands clasped behind her back, legs slightly apart, and watched the disastrous discussion - if it could called be a discussion – between the Ambassador and holograms of all three Councillors. To say that the Council was tearing Udina apart wouldn't even begin to cover it.

When the three shimmering Councillors shut the channel and disappeared, Udina stayed motionless for a split second. Then he turned to Anderson and Shepard standing a few steps behind him. It had allowed them to observe the whole conversation without Councillors knowing they had been watched.

Udina shot her a stern look that mirrored a lot of the anger he surely must have felt, and then focused on the elder man by her side. "Captain Anderson," he said, sounding calm all of sudden. "I see you brought half your crew with you." Shepard narrowed her eyes at him with disdain. They all knew things were bad, but the sarcasm was uncalled for.

"Just the ground team from Eden Prime," Anderson corrected him patiently. "In case you had any questions." Following her Captains example, May's face relaxed again, so did her tense posture.

Udina's eyes flicked towards Shepard for a second. "I have the mission reports. I assume they're accurate?"

"They are," Anderson nodded and paused for an instant. "Sounds like you convinced the Council to give us an audience," he changed the topic. And maybe it was for the best. No need for them to snarl at each other.

"They were not happy about it. Saren's their top agent," he said, turning his attention to Shepard. "They don't like him being accused of treason."

Shepard took a deep breath. "Saren's threat to every human colony out there," she brought herself to speak as calmly as Anderson. "He needs to be stopped. The Council has to listen to us."

Udina shook his head. "Settle down, Commander," he barked out as if he had any right to command her. "You've already done more than enough to jeopardize your candidacy for the Spectres."

"What?!" a pair of male voices sounded from behind Maya. She ignored them, grateful for Anderson to step in so that she could pretend to mishear Kaidan and John while listening to her Captain. "That's Saren's fault!" he immediately defended her. "Not hers!"

"Then we better hope the C-Sec investigation turns up evidence to support our accusation. Otherwise the Council might use this as an excuse to keep you out of the Spectres," he growled at Shepard, then continued with just as harsh tone. "Come with me, Captain. I want to go over a few things before the hearing. Shepard, you and the others can meet us at the Citadel Tower. Top level. I'll make sure you have clearance to get in," he added and his eyes scrutinized her from head to toe as if contemplating if she was to be let in or better not.

Udina walked from his office in quick strides, and Anderson moved to follow, but Maya caught his elbow. With her eyes on the door that had just closed behind the Ambassador, she hissed. "With all due respect, sir, my drone would do a better job with the Councillors. I mean…demanding anything of the Council? Is he out of his mind! Our situation is bad enough without his aggressive approach to add fuel to the flame."

Anderson patted her hand resting on his elbow, trying to placate her. "Udina has only the humanity's best interests at heart."

"I don't trust him, sir."

"He's the only one who can help us get the Council's favour."

Her eyebrows rose. "You mean by yelling at them?"

Anderson looked at the office door and sighed. "I don't like this either, Maya," he said in low voice. "But now, it's politics. There's little we can do to help now." With that he took her hand and put it off his elbow. Nodding to her and the rest of present company, he followed Udina out of his office.

"And that's why I hate politicians," Ashley said.

"Spectres?" John's voice sounded really surprised. "You're going to be a Spectre?!"

She shook her head and turned around slowly. "No, thanks to this I'm probably never going to be a Spectre. Not that I mind, I'm not excited to be under the Council's command. But, yeah," she shrugged. "Nihlus was impressed by the Blitz and forwarded my name on the list."

"You're kidding, right?" Kaidan asked in quiet voice. "May, the first human Spectre? That's…"

"Impossible now, so let's forget it. Our priority is to get the Council to like us. Not to get into Spectres," she snapped and took a step to the door. Then she hesitated. "Eh…did the Ambassador say _when_ the hearing starts?"

…

The long way up the Citadel Tower was breathtaking. It gave them view over the whole Presidium and it was a sight for sore eyes. Beautiful and magnificent, but also a little bit unnerving when you thought about it. The journey was quite long; not as long as some other elevators here on the Citadel would take, but long enough. It gave you a lot of time to - at first – admire the view, and then to think. Think about why you were going up. About what kind of persons it took to control this all. And, finally, if their power was enough to keep all this on a leash, what possibly could they do to you?

It wasn't a threat, oh no. It was a warning.

About halfway up, they all started to feel this _warning_. They stopped staring outside and focused somewhere else, they started shifting their weight nervously and clear their throats. Of course, the knowledge of how important the hearing up was did little to comfort them.

"Finally…" Ashley muttered when the elevator stopped and the door let them out. Just like the rest of the Presidium, even the Tower was large, spacious, fancy and richly lit with what seemed like hundreds spot lights.

"Waste of money," John pretty much summed it up, not impressed by it at all. As if obeying some order, they all set off at the same time, climbing up short stairs that took them to a little square with a large fountain in the middle. Even before they reached top of the stairs, they could hear two loud voices.

"Saren's hiding something," one of the turians was saying when they emerged. From her first time on the Citadel Maya recognized the black uniform with dark blue stripes down the chest and arms of it as the C-Sec uniform; a knowledge that could have saved her a lot of trouble back then. "Give me more time," the turian with blue paint went on impatiently. "Stall them!" he said and tossed his head towards the Council chamber, leaving little doubts as for his meaning.

"Stall the Council?" the other turian repeated incredulously, his white paint shining from his dark face. Unlike the second turian, he didn't wear armour, but casual clothing. "Don't be ridiculous. Your investigation is over, Garrus," he stated and turned around, walking away.

Maya stopped so abruptly, Kaidan, who didn't see it coming, bumped into her. Murmuring apologies, he quickly steadied her by grabbing her arms, but she didn't even seem to notice something was wrong. She quickly closed her mouth when she realized she was staring stupidly at the C-Sec turian.

And when the turian turned towards them, she was already smiling. Twelve years, but she still recognized the paint. And, of course, the name helped a lot. "Garrus Vakarian?" she asked immediately, making a few hesitant steps.

The turian blinked once and turned his head to the side slightly, watching her through the blue visor he wore. Then his eyes widened as he realized who was standing in front of him. "Maya Shepard," he said as if he couldn't believe it. "The galaxy is small, isn't it?" he asked, his mandibles twitching gently.

"You know each other?" Ashley asked, apparently astonished.

Maya looked her, smiling. "Garrus and his father saved my life once," she explained quickly and focused on Garrus again.

Kaidan frowned and glanced at John, who nodded. _The Citadel._

To her surprise, Garrus made a step forward and flexed out his arm to offer a handshake. Maya's eyes dropped to his thee-fingered hand and back to his eyes and her smile widened. "I bet you still have no idea what it means," she said and grasped his hand in hers, shaking it.

"No," he agreed. "I didn't ask anyone…and I didn't forget your promise," he added and then cleared his throat. "But enough pleasantries. Shepard, if you're heading to talk to the Council about Saren…" he paused for a second. "I was the officer in charge of the C-Sec investigation into him."

"I've figured that much," she nodded, gesturing her had towards the direction the other turian had left. "I'm glad you want to bring him down just as we do."

Garrus nodded, his eyes narrowing. "Unfortunately wanting is of little help. He's a Spectre. Everything he touches is classified. I can't find any hard evidence," he added.

"Commander?" Kaidan spoke up. "I think the Council is waiting for us," he finished and his eyes watched the turian intently.

Maya tilted her head slightly. Kaidan knew about her admiration of the species. And suddenly they met a turian whom she knew personally to that extent they shared a joke only the two of them understood. Could it be? _Nah…Kaidan and jealous? Nope,_ she shook his head. "You're right. Garrus, thanks for the heads up. At least we know we're walking to our own execution," she said grimly.

"Maybe they'll yet listen to you," he shrugged, stepping out of their way. He watched them as they walked deeper into the tower.

"Damn…cherry trees?" Ashley mumbled as they climbed another stairway and ended up on another square. This one had a small park in the middle, an area covered in the most perfect grass with trees and boulders. But Maya didn't care. Her eyes were front, fixed on the dark skinned man in dress blue uniform pacing impatiently under yet another stairway; another sign, like the long ride up the elevator, to show the importance of the Council.

Anderson's eyes caught hers and he quickly walked towards them. "The hearing has already started. Come on," he urged them on. Side by side, Shepard and Anderson climbed the stairs, with the rest of the ground team hot on their heels, to find themselves face to face with the Councillors…hypothetically speaking. Between them and the three figures was a huge gap and only holograms of their heads projected into the air between them that allowed Shepard to see the Councillors clearly. But today there was another hologram. And it scowled darkly when it noticed Shepard.

* * *

Tadaaa - another update! Yeah, with a few days off school, I'm really quick. Unfortunately it ends next week :(

Hey, I'm glad Garrus is back!

**Minnie**: Thank you so much. And I'm really glad you liked it.

Ahem...as usually, thank you all for reading and your reviews and your continuous support and everything. I love you guys, have a nice day and see you later ;)


	26. How we in the military get the job done

Disclaimer: I don't own ME

* * *

Capturing Saren's eyes, Maya paid him the same murderous look, lifting her chin defiantly. Just as she considered every turian beautiful and magnificent, she found Saren hideous and repulsive. His face was different than any turian's she'd ever seen. And it wasn't only his face that seemed…off. His whole body was wrong as if he'd suffered an almost lethal injury and all the damaged flesh had been replaced by artificial one in order to save his life. In a way, he reminded her of the husks they'd seen on Eden Prime. And that really gave her creeps.

"The geth attack is a matter of some concern," Tevos, the asari Councillor, was just saying. Her unearthly beautiful face was calm and pleasant as if it was her role to placate anyone standing in front of the Council. "But there is nothing to indicate Saren was involved in any way," she went on, her green eyes focused on the Ambassador standing on the very edge of the platform. Anderson and Shepard stopped a few steps behind him, the rest of the marines stopped right at the top of the stairs.

Sparatus nodded his agreement and started speaking immediately after Tevos finished as if they had it all rehearsed. "The investigation by Citadel Security turned up no evidence to support your charge of treason," the turian said, his predatory eyes bearing into Shepard ever since she showed up. She held his gaze, but her determined look suddenly changed into a sad one. She'd seen the white marks on Sparatus' face before. Nihlus had the same.

She closed her eyes and turned her head away. The she set her jaw firmly as anger shook her body. She lifted her head again to Saren and knew that if the Spectre was present, she would shoot him in the same coldblooded manner he'd killed Nihlus. Suddenly realizing her hand was dangerously close to her Phalanx, she brought herself to take the at-ease posture. She didn't know how much the Councillors could read her body language, but this one was pretty obvious. And the situation was bad enough without her making silent threats to the Spectre.

"An eyewitness saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood!" Udina exclaimed, apparently outraged by the turian's statement.

It was the salarian, Valern, who started speaking now. "We've read the Eden Prime reports, Ambassador," he reassured Udina, speaking quickly. "The testimony of one traumatized dockworker is hardly compelling proof."

Saren finally tore his eyes offs Shepard to look at the Councillors "I resent these accusations. Nihlus was a fellow Spectre," he said, sounding almost convincing. Now his eyes turned back to Shepard. "And a friend," he added.

"That just let you catch him off guard," Anderson spoke up.

The change in Saren's face was very subtle. Maya had noticed it only because she was staring at the turian just as intently as he was staring at her. Even though she wasn't exactly sure what it was supposed to mean, she understood that Anderson's intervention somehow pleased the turian. "Captain Anderson," he said, sounding like the two were more familiar with each other then it seemed. "You always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me," he said slowly. "And this must be your protégé, Commander Shepard," he added even slower, his eyes once again bearing into hers. "The one who let the beacon get destroyed." Just like with Nihlus, this was a game who would be the first to betray some emotion. And this time she wouldn't lose.

Keeping the anger buried deep inside her, she took a slow breath. "The mission to Eden Prime was top secret," she said in the same, calm tone everyone except for Udina was using. She wanted to say: "The only way you could know about the beacon was if you were there," but she wouldn't give him another accusation she couldn't prove. Like Anderson had said, it was her word again his. And the Council would rather believe him. "I wonder how you heard about the beacon. From Nihlus?" She looked at him intently, letting her eyes finish what she, in her current position, couldn't afford to say out loud. _Before you shot his brain out of his head?_

It took a split second for Saren to reply, a very short time that helped Maya realize the turian's mandibles were their greatest giveaway. After her silent accusation, Saren's mandibles twitched ever so slightly as if he did his best not to let it show. Maybe it was her imagination, maybe not, but he looked pissed off for the short instant.

"In a matter of speaking," the turian said, narrowing his eyes again. "With him gone, his files passed on to me. I read the Eden Prime report." Now his hologram leaned forward a little bit as if he wanted to rest his forearms against the handrail in front of him. "I was unimpressed," he added, lowering his voice. Then he straightened again, glancing at the Council. "But what can you expect from a human?"

No, she wouldn't let him provoke her. "The war is over, Saren," she said in firm, loud voice. "It has been for quite some time. Both sides have wronged the other in one way or another, which makes us more or less even. There is no need for such childish statements, don't you think?" she focused on him. "Look, everyone, stupid, incompetent humans. And they call us racists," she stated pointedly.

This time Saren snarled at her, apparently losing his temper slowly. "Your species needs to learn its place, Shepard. You're not ready to join the Council. You're not even ready to join the Spectres!"

"He has no right to say that!" Udina immediately stepped in. "That's not his decision!"

Accepting Udina's objection, Tevos' head turned towards Saren. "Shepard's admission into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting," she stated firmly.

And Saren shrugged. "This meeting _has_ no purpose. The humans are wasting your time, Councillors. And mine."

At this moment, Anderson stepped forward a little. "There is still one outstanding issue. Commander Shepard's vision triggered by the beacon."

_No…Anderson…_ Maya groaned inwardly. It was obvious the Council didn't believe them and mentioning the vision, or whatever it was, wouldn't change a thing. Apart from making them look like fools.

"Are we allowing dreams into evidence, now?" Saren asked in mocked surprised. "How can I defend my innocents against this kind of testimony?" He was even better at sarcasm than Udina.

Sparatus nodded once. "I agree. Our judgment must be based on facts and evidence. Not wild imaginations and reckless speculations."

"Do you have anything else to add, Commander?" the salarian Councillor asked, blinking his big black eyes at her.

"What's the point? You've made your decision before we even set a foot on the Citadel. Shutting Garrus' investigation, even though he was on track of something and only needed a little more time, is proof enough. Have a nice day, Councillors," she nodded and turned around, leaving Anderson and Udina alone on the platform, astonished.

The struck silence accompanied her all the way from the platform and only after she stood under the stairs she could hear Tevos talking again.

The rest of her team followed her and when she saw Ashley's face, as she desperately tried not to laugh, the anger slowly left her. "Just let it out, Chief. The whole meeting was ludicrous," Maya sighed, combing her hair with her fingers.

Ashley started to chuckle. "Damn, I'm so proud you're my superior, Commander. I mean…walking out on the Council? I don't think anyone has the guts to ever do that."

"There's a first time for everything," Maya shrugged.

"Not that they didn't deserve it," Kaidan said, looking over his shoulder at the meeting. Tevos was still talking.

"I would give everything I have to see their faces," Maya admitted, finally starting to smile.

"Priceless," John said curtly. He was smiling, too. "Though I think it's going to come to bite you in the ass, sis. And the teeth will belong to Udina."

"Who cares about him?" Ashley asked just as the Captain and the Ambassador started to walk down the stairs. May took a deep breath and turned around to face them.

Anderson was fine, evidently. He looked even slightly amused. But Udina seemed ready to rip her to pieces. "And I thought it was a mistake to bring the Captain into the hearing," he growled, "until you opened your mouth, Commander."

"I'm sure you wanted to say, until I closed it. They were fine while I was talking," she said casually.

Udina took a slow breath. "I see you still don't understand consequences of your behaviour, Commander."

"Oh, I believe I do," she stood her ground. "And even if I didn't. Why should I care? I'm not a politician, Udina, I'm a marine. We don't talk about things, we get them done," she hissed at him.

"She's right," Anderson nodded, glancing at his executive officer briefly. "Talking isn't going to change the Council's mind. We need to do something about it." It felt great when your superior backed you when you needed him most. "Shepard," he turned towards the redhead, "you said something about an investigator."

"A turian named Garrus Vakarian," she nodded. "I believe he might help us, but I'm afraid I have no way to contact him other than maybe going to the Citadel Security offices and try to ask around."

"You won't have to do that, Commander," Udina said. He didn't sound so arrogant this time. "I have a contact in C-Sec who can help us track Garrus down. His name is Harkin."

"Forget it," Anderson immediately dismissed his idea. "They suspended him last month. Drinking on the job."

"Garrus might be our only chance, Captain. We need to try everything," Shepard said mildly.

Anderson sighed and nodded reluctantly. "Then you'll probably find Harkin at Chora's Den getting drunk. It's a little club in the lower section of the wards."

"Charming…" she responded with deadpan face and then shrugged. It wasn't like they had any other choice.

"Contact us as soon as you find something," Udina instructed you and only because Maya thought she'd pushed the Ambassador as far as he would go, she nodded without snapping back at him for ordering her around.

"Will do, Ambassador," she said simply. When it was apparent she wasn't about to add anything else, both the Ambassador and Captain Anderson took their leave.

When they were out of earshot, John took a slow breath, resting his hand on May's shoulder. "You okay?"

She shrugged. "Why shouldn't I be? We knew what to expect," she said, sounding a little bit grim nevertheless. "Let's get to the wards."

…

"What the hell…" Kaidan let out a long breath, turning around to watch the man's back as he walked away from them.

"Your fans are creepy, sis," John said simply, looking around for any sing pointing towards the clinic. Wards were one big maze and finding someone's way around was almost impossible.

"I second that," Ashley nodded.

Maya rolled her eyes. "Hey, it was just an autograph he wanted. He's harmless."

"As long as he's not running around in faked N7 armour asking to help you," Kaidan murmured."

Ashley and Maya exchanged a thoughtful look, then glanced towards the way Conrad had gone, trying to imagine what he'd look like in the black N7 armour. Ashley looked amused, Maya simply shook her head. "Thank you, Kaidan. Now you added my armour to the list of things I won't be able to look at with straight face."

"I aim to please, Commander."

Decided to forget the awkward meeting, Maya set off again. This part of the wards seemed strangely familiar to her, but she couldn't put her finger on it. At first. Following the signs they found themselves in a middle of a larger area with several exits leading to different parts of the wards, with the clinic right in front of them. Instead of continuing, however, Maya suddenly stopped, her eyes turned to the view over the wards. A giant, white ship was slowly passing by the large view.

"Destiny Ascension," Ashley said with awe after following her Commander's gaze. "Man, I've heard it was big, but seeing it with my own eyes is…"

"Yeah," Maya nodded, smiling. This was the place where she'd realized she was on the Citadel after slipping through Adam's fingers. She'd been battered, sore, helpless and desperate back then. If someone had stopped her that day and told her that she'd stand on the very same spot twelve years later trying to undermine a certain Spectre's authority, she'd have laughed at them. And would have asked them where the Presidium was.

_No, I wouldn't. I already could read the signs here,_ she corrected herself. "Let's go," she said, tearing her eyes off the view finally. Involuntarily, her hand went to her face as if trying to find the bruise and the scab under her fingers.

The Med Clinic wasn't far away. Maybe Maya had drowned too deeply in her memories, because when she opened the door to the clinic, instead of acting she froze. Several toughly looking guys stood around a terrified woman dressed as a doctor. The few seconds she stared motionless at the scene in front of her were enough for one of the thugs to register the marines' arrival. Just as Maya finally moved, reaching for her gun, the guy grabbed the woman's arm and spun her around, pulling her close as a shield. With one arm under the doctor's neck he used the other to aim his pistol at Shepard. "Who are you?!" he screamed angrily as four guns aimed back at him.

"Let her go!" Maya said, trying to sound calm and, most importantly, keep her eyes on the man and not on the turian sneaking towards them to catch them off guard. For a turian Garrus sure could move silently.

Given enough distraction, Garrus suddenly sprung from his cover and a shot rang through the clinic. The doctor screamed and fell to the floor together with the guy holding her. With her out of the way, the marines took care of the rest of those thugs effortlessly. Soon the action was over and Garrus was helping the doctor to her feet. She looked shaken, but unharmed.

Garrus turned to Maya. "Perfect timing, Shepard," he said. "Gave me a clear shot at that bastard."

Maya took a slow breath. "You know, Garrus, I'm torn between praising your great aim and yelling at you for endangering the hostage at the same time," she admitted. "You could have hit the doctor," she added, the need to reproach suddenly winning over her inner shooter that admired Garrus.

Garrus blinked. "There wasn't time to think. I just…" he trailed off, turning to the doctor. "Doctor Michel, are you hurt?" he asked with genuine concern.

She shook her head, looking at the corpses all around her. "No, I'm okay. Thanks to you," she replied hesitantly.

"Who were these guys anyway? If you tell us who they work for, we might be able to protect you from them," Maya offered immediately, finally putting her Phalanx back into its slot on her hip. Her team followed suit.

"They work for Fist," she said.

John and Kaidan exchanged a quick glance. In Chora's Den, they had met a krogan talking about a guy of that name.

"They wanted me to shut up, keep me from telling Garrus about the quarian," Michel went on.

Maya frowned in confusion, turning to Garrus. She thought he was after Saren and suddenly there was a quarian? What did the quarian have to do with all this? "What quarian?"

"Well, a few days ago a quarian came by my office," she started explaining. "She'd been shot, but she wouldn't tell me who did it. I could tell she was scared, probably on the run. She asked me about the Shadow Broker. She wanted to trade information in exchange for a safe place to hide."

"Then what?" Maya asked, still not making much sense of it.

"I put her in contact with Fist. He's an agent for the Shadow Broker."

"Not anymore," Garrus interrupted her. "Now he works for Saren and the Shadow Broker isn't too happy about it," he said, finally adding the piece of information Shepard was missing.

"Fist betrayed the Shadow Broker?" Doctor Michel asked incredulously. "That's stupid. Even for him. Saren must have made him quite the offer."

"And whatever Saren wants so badly," Maya said slowly, "especially when he's willing to cross the Shadow Broker for it, must be very, very important," she concluded and grabbed Garrus' arm in excitement. "I think we have him, Garrus. We just need to get our hands on the information and the Council won't be able to ignore us anymore," she smiled, and then turned all serious again. After all, the job wasn't done yet. "Don't you happen to know what it was about? Maybe Saren or the geth?" Maya asked, turning to the doctor.

"She said it was connected to the geth," Michel nodded.

"I say we should visit Chora's Den, again," Kaidan spoke up.

Ashley raised her eyebrow. "You sound excited to return there, LT. Liked the view, huh?" she teased.

Kaidan didn't say anything, only looked at Maya who deliberately stared at him. She knew Ashley was just teasing, but there was a hint of truth behind her words. Maya had, of course, noticed the way Kaidan – and John, too, for that matter – stared at those half-naked women. She hadn't said anything to him, though, because…well…it wasn't like she'd never shot an appreciative glance towards some men she'd passed on a street. Only she allowed herself such indulgences when Kaidan wasn't around to see it, but it didn't mean anything. So back at Chora's she had simply swallowed the jealously rising inside her and focused on finding Harkin. After all, she'd find a way for payback later…

Like now. "Aren't you excited, too, Williams? Didn't you notice the bartender? Damn, he was cute," she smirked and when caught Kaidan's eyes, she winked at him. Turning to the door, she was ready to set off, when Garrus grabbed her arm. "Shepard, wait," he said quickly. "I want to bring Saren down as much as you do. I'm coming with you."

She flashed the turian a wide smile, feeling another opportunity to tease Kaidan. "It would be my pleasure to work with you, Garrus. And maybe, if we have time, I could finally keep on my promise."

"You know we aren't the only ones going after Fist," he started talking after they left the clinic, heading to Chora's Den. "The Shadow Broker hired a krogan bounty hunter named Wrex to take him out."

"We already had the pleasure," Ashley informed him, remembering the encounter with the snaring lizard. Something like that was virtually unforgettable.

"Well, then let's hope we'll arrive there first. We need to get some info out of Fist before he dies," Maya said and quickened her pace.

The door to Chora's Den was opened and the familiar barking of guns was echoing through the corridors outside. With the terrible foreboding that they were too late, they sprinted to the door, rifles ready in their hands. With quick gestures, Maya told Kaidan and Ashley to take out the guys to their right and she and John would clear the bar on the left. This way, no one would use the round shape of the bar to surprise them from behind. And because Maya had remembered there had been dancers on top of the bar, too, and she wasn't willing to take any chances that time it would be someone with a gun instead of a scanty clothes on, she told Garrus to focus on this part of the Den.

When they stormed inside they caught the thugs inside completely off guard as their attention was focused on the back door, leading probably to the Fist's office.

They shot their way through what few guards were left standing in the bar. The corridor was almost empty, save for two riddled bodies. The way all the wounds were centred into one place turning the flesh into mash of bones and blood led Shepard think they were killed with a shotgun from point-blank distance. A loud noise, as if something very heavy and expensive was getting broken, came form further inside. Throwing all caution to the wind, they all sprinted down the corridor and right into a small square room. A very, very pissed off krogan was just aiming a large shotgun at a guy lying in glass shards and remains of something that once might have been a fully functional table.

"John, stasis!" Maya yelled and crouched immediately, so when John released the biotic energy it didn't hit her. She heard and felt it rush above her and suddenly the room fell quiet, except for laboured breathing of the battered and bleeding man on the floor. The krogan, thankfully, was motionless. Only his eyes shot angrily towards Kaidan who hurried to drag the guy – presumably Fist – from under the shotgun's barrel. After all he was a biotic, too, and knew Wrex would break out of the stasis sooner or later.

Though it would be better if they all were gone by the time. Neither of them wanted to deal with ticked off krogan armed with a shotgun and wearing heavy armour.

"John, keep an eye on Wrex," Shepard ordered and rushed to Kaidan and Fist. She grabbed the front of his armour – seriously why was no one wearing ordinary clothes around here? - and she hauled him into sitting position, resting his back against the wall. "Just to make things completely clear between us, Fist, I'm not your rescue. But I might keep the krogan from shooting the brain out of your head if you cooperate," she growled at him. "And my question is simple. Where is the quarian?"

Fist took a ragged breath. "Not here. I don't know where she is."

Maya lifted her eyebrows at him and pointed the Mattock she was still holding at his kneecaps. "Wrong answer," she whispered and gave him her most charming smile.

"No, wait. It's the truth!" he said quickly.

"He's lying," both Garrus and Kaidan said at one time. Garrus sounded calm and Kaidan…well he was trying to sound casual, despite being totally freaked out by _this_ side of his May. Would she really shoot him? He knew firsthand how good she was at bluffing, though. So maybe she wouldn't… On the other hand, she was N7. And you just didn't earn the rank by being sweet and charming.

"You heard my boys, Fist? I think they are right. So…you got three seconds and then I start shooting," she hissed.

"The quarian refused to deal with me," Fist hurried with a reply. "She wanted to deal only with the Shadow Broker himself."

A deep, throaty growl vibrated through the room and May's hair on the back of her neck stood up as another wave of biotic energy swept through the room. The krogan once again stood frozen in mid-motion. His shotgun, however, was now aimed at Fist again.

"I give you that, Wrex, you're quick," Maya appreciated while Garrus spoke to Fist. "Impossible. The Shadow Broker only works through his agents."

"She didn't know that…" Fist rasped out. "I told her I'd set up the meeting. But when she shows up, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her." No one even managed to blink how fast May moved. Her Mattock was pressed against Fist's temple who tried to melt into and through the wall behind him, but her hand grasping the back of his neck prevented him from moving away from the barrel. "Where is the meeting!" she barked out. "Speak , Fist, and be quick before I blow your lying head off!"

"The back alley in the markets. Here in the wards. The meeting is now. If you hurry, you'll make it."

Slamming Fist back into the wall, she sprung to her feet. "John, Ashley, take care of the krogan! The rest, we're getting the quarian!" she ordered quickly, already running from the Fist's office. Using her own biotics she knocked out the few man in the bar trying to stop her – where did they keep coming from anyway?! – and rushed out of the club.

…

The whole meeting felt off from the very beginning. Or maybe it was the shot wound and the way it still stung that made her feel paranoid. Tali tried to calm down with deep breathing and pacing to and fro, but it was still unnerving. From time to time she touched the pistol and grenade strapped to her side. The weight was reassuring, but it wasn't enough to make her feel secure enough.

Finally a group of strange people, led by a turian, approached her. Tali straightened, trying to appear confident as she watched the turian just as the bad feeling in her intensified. "Where is the Shadow Broker?" she asked. "Where is Fist?" All the strangers were armed and armoured.

"They'll be here," the the turian told her, touching her on her head and then sliding his hand down her shoulder and arm. "Where is the evidence?"

Slapping his hand away, Tali made a step back. "No way," she hissed. Something was seriously not right. She noticed the turian's minions were fumbling for their weapons as if just waiting for a signal or something. "The deal's off."

The turian just looked at her and then moved his head to one side, backing away from her. And that was all Tali needed. Just as she elegantly slid into cover behind a closest crate, her grenade detonated, filling the corridor with non-transparent gas. Knowing she had just a few seconds she drew her pistol and let out a few shots to the direction where she remembered the turian's minions.

The fire was immediately returned and she hid behind the crate. But then she blinked. There wasn't so many of them, but the sound indicated there were a lot more people in the gunfight. And someone had quite an automatic.

Peeking from behind her cover she spotted two other humans and a turian joined the action and were mowing down her assassins with such an expertise and speed as if they were trained to kill. Moreover, which took Tali's breath away, a blue drone floated in the air in the middle of the massacre. When it was just the newcomers standing, the drone, like a faithful puppy, moved to the red-haired woman. To Tali's surprise the woman smiled at the orb, said: "Thanks, D2," and used her omnitool to despawn it.

"No signs of the quarian," the turian observed after the battle was over. His armour was somehow familiar, but Tali couldn't put her finger on it.

"She's not among the bodies," the male human reflected, looking around. As he spun around, Tali glimpsed the emblem on his left sleeve, which was identical to the one the woman was wearing. And it was familiar, too. Despite her better judgment – or maybe paranoia – the knot inside her loosened a little. After all, the assassins wore no symbols.

"Quarian?" the female spoke up, loudly. "We're here to help you. We're the Alliance." Yes, of course! That symbol, a sign resembling a letter A with something round under it, belonged to the Alliance! And the round object was supposed to be their homeworld, the Earth. Damn, how could she be so stupid and not recognize it immediately?

"And C-Sec," the turian added.

"And C-Sec," the woman repeated, sounding amused. "We're not here to hurt you," she insisted. "Actually, we need your help."

Ever so slowly Tali rose behind her cover. The three strangers had collapsed their guns which was a good sign. The woman, when she noticed her, gave her a wide smile that spoke of relief. "You're okay?" she asked and Tali nodded. "Yes. Thank you. I…I knew I shouldn't trust Fist."

"Yeah, don't worry about him. He got what was coming for him," the woman shrugged.

"Then I guess I have another thing to thank you for. Eh…Who are you?" Tali asked, turning her head to one side.

"My name's Shepard," the woman introduced herself. "This is Kaidan Alenko and Garrus Vakarian," she pointed to the two men standing by each side of her. "We're looking for an evidence to prove Saren's a traitor. An evidence, I believe, you have."

Tali nodded. "At least I have a way to repay you. But not here. Can we go…" Tali looked around nervously, "…somewhere safe?"

Sounds of several people approaching made the human male and the turian spin around, their guns ready once again. Shepard kept her back to the sounds, showing what great trust she put into the two, and also the fact that she was probably the leader. Suddenly a woman voice wailed: "Ah, no! We missed all the fun!" Tali was just reaching for her gun when she noticed Shepard's lips perked up a little after hearing the voice. Gently the redhead caught her wrist to stop her. "These are friends. John Shepard and Ashley Williams," she said and turned around. "And Wrex?" she added, sounding baffled. Tali noticed she turned her head, looking at the man she'd introduced as John Shepard. Didn't she say her name was Shepard, too?

The huge krogan gave a growling laugh, but it was John, who explained. "Well, Wrex here broke from the stasis, threw me across the room…" he said stiffly, his hand touching his ribs gently.

"And headbutted Fist," Ashley finished with a broad smirk.

"Then said something along the line that you looked like fun to have around and asked to join us in whatever…we're doing," John took the word again.

Shepard took a deep breath and let it out again before speaking. "Okay. Wrex, thanks for the compliment, but I'm afraid the call as for who can join the team or not is up to our Captain. Who is, by the way," she added, turning back to Tali, "waiting at the Human Embassy which is safe enough a place for you…eh…what's your name, by the way?"

"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," Tali replied with a smile.

"Tali, okay," Shepard smiled. Then her face turned serious again. "Kaidan, lead the way. Garrus, you get our back," she instructed and approached the other Shepard. "You okay?" she said, half-laughing, reaching to touch his ribs. The man backed out of her reach. "Cracked rib or two, I think. Or three. Anyway, I'm fine as long as you don't touch me."

…

Maya sent John to the clinic to let Doctor Michel do something about his ribs, sending Ashley along to make sure he'd arrive there. That left just her, Garrus and Kaidan to escort the quarian. Oh, and the krogan tagged along, too.

Anderson shot the group a really, really uncomprehending look, but only shook his head when Maya smiled at him. The Ambassador had his back to them, not bothering to even look around. "You're not making my life easy, Shepard," he growled at her. She simply shrugged and clasped her hands behind her back, her legs slightly apart. With a smug smirk on her face she waited for him to whirl around. "Firefights in the wards? An all-out assault on Chora's Den? Do you know how many…" and he finally turned around. His eyes travelled from Shepard to the krogan towering above them all and then lingered on the quarian. "What is this, Shepard?" he asked slowly. "What are you up to?"

Maya shook her head, waving her hand in the air. "Oh, don't mind the krogan. Wrex's here to talk to the Captain, anyway," she said, paying Anderson an apologetic look. Then her features hardened and she took a few steps towards Udina. "The quarian, however," she lowered her voice to that dangerous hiss, "is just how we in the military get the job done, Ambassador." She said his title as if it was an insult. Changing the tune completely, she smiled at him. "Let me introduce Tali'Zorah nar Rayya who has the evidence to bring Saren down."

Garrus and Kaidan exchanged an amused look. She'd said Tali's name fluently without any slips only because she'd been practising it out loud all the way to the Embassy.

…

"So…was my brother a good boy?" Maya asked Ashley when they returned to the Normandy. The Ambassador had contacted the Council, but unfortunately they refused to meet until the next day, so they all had a few hours of downtime on their hands.

"He growled and spitted, but yeah, I dragged him to the clinic and the doc whipped him back to shape," she smiled. "Medigel's a wonder."

"Good to know. Tomorrow's going to be quite a show. I would hate it if he missed it."

"I hate politicians, Commander, but I'm actually looking forward the hearing," Williams stated. "So…now, do we really have some time for ourselves?"

Shepard nodded. "Sure. And I'm heading to bed. Running around the wards is rather exhausting, don't you think?"

"I'm hitting shower instead."

"Been there already. It was great," Maya whispered and when she and the Chief parted ways, the smile slipped from her face. Yes, she was tired, but she wasn't sure if she would get some sleep. There was a reason why she hated sleeping pods.

Maya stood in front of her pod, looking at it unhappily, her shoulders slumped. It should be easy. She should just walk in and let it slide into horizontal position, so that she could sleep comfortably. Then the transparent glass would darken, preventing anyone outside from watching whoever was sleeping inside, and the inside spot lights would darken, too, drowning the pod in darkness. The pod's sensors would make sure the temperature was fit for sleeping and the air was being recycled. Despite everything, sleeping pods were comfortable. Not for Maya though.

She managed to stay in for a few minutes, but then…well…then she would suddenly be back in the container Adam had stored her in for the journey to Omega. She'd start to panic and suddenly there wouldn't be enough air in the pod. She'd start to tremble and hyperventilate…and she'd hit the button for the pod to let her out again. It usually took several attempts before she managed to bear it. Sleeping pills were usually helpful, too.

"Problems with your pod, Commander?" a kind voice said next to her. She didn't have to look at him to recognize Engineer Adams. After returning from the Citadel, she'd finally had time to actually explore the ship and get to know the crew personally. Most of the crewmembers had seemed genuinely surprised, that she came to talk to them, but were glad to postpone whatever duties they had to chitchat with her.

"We have quite a stormy relationship," she smiled and looked at him.

Probably reading between her lines, Adams' eyebrows rose in surprise. "Claustrophobic?"

That was her usual respond. She couldn't tell anyone about Cerberus and Adam and what they had done. Though she resented lying to everyone, too. So whenever she could, she tried to equivocate. "I'm working on it." There. She didn't lie to him. She only let him think she suffered from claustrophobia without correcting him.

Sure, the result was the same, but she felt a little bit better.

Adams touched her on her shoulder reassuringly. "Fingers crossed, Commander. Have a good night."

"You, too," she smiled at him as he continued to his own pod. She waited until he was inside, before opening hers. She stepped in slowly, breathing deeply to calm down, and hit the button to close it again. With a slow hiss the pod started lowering slowly until she was horizontal. The glass stared to lose its transparency and soon it was just her and the confined space. The light begun to dim slowly and she closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing. The light she could see through her eyelids was gone in a few seconds. Involuntarily her hand touched her face, checking for the breathing mask she'd had on on the Citadel all those years ago. It helped a little that she could feel there was none at the moment. So did spreading her legs slightly to feel there were no oxygen cylinders.

Every couple of seconds she had to make sure her body still obeyed her, moving a finger or a whole arm. Her ears pricked up as she listened to make sure there were no noises around, no one ordering anyone to check her vitals.

_"Jereth! What's taking you so long up there?"_

Maya frowned. No, thinking about it wasn't a good idea.

_"Making sure your solution is alive, Adam."_

The hand on her face started trembling. She closed her eyes even more tightly as she fought with her own memory.

_"Her breath is shallow, but steady, as it should be."_

Breathing through her nose suddenly wasn't enough. She needed more oxygen.

_"And the pulse is tangible."_

Her heart started racing. She tried to convince herself she was completely safe, but it wasn't helping.

_"She better be alive." _

She fisted her hands firmly, digging her nails into her palms, focusing on the pain.

_"If not, you're a dead man…" _

The movement when the pod raised to almost vertical position was much quicker then lowering and so Maya was outside before she even realized it. She knelt on the floor, breathing through her mouth, eyes closed. The feeling of the cold metal floor under her fingers and the dim light coming through her shut eyes was helping.

_Okay…let's calm down and try again…_

Damn, where were all the Prothean beacons to knock her cold to allow her to sleep in the infirmary?

…

Kaidan chuckled to himself when walked into the mess hall. Pulling a chair, he sat down next to her and watched her for a moment. It was rare to see her smiling from her sleep, looking so serene. Life of a marine wasn't easy and what never bothered her by day – or at least, what she pretended that never bothered her – caught up with her by night. Full-night sleep was as precious as diamonds for Maya. And, of course, there was the other extreme. When she was so exhausted that she was on verge of collapsing, she could sleep for days. Not a very healthy lifestyle.

Kaidan sighed, his eyes sliding over her. Considering her current position, she couldn't be very comfortable. As gently as he could, Kaidan tried to wake her up.

Suddenly scowling, she grumbled something and lifted her head off the table, looking up at Kaidan. Then she closed them again and assumed her previous position. "I'm trying to sleep here…"

He chuckled again. "That's the point. Why aren't you in the pod?"

"Couldn't…" she mumbled and moved her left arm under her cheek. Her right hand finally let go of the datapad she'd been reading. Comprehension lit his face as he looked over his shoulder at the two rows of sleeping pods. "So you just pretended to fall asleep while reading?"

"Pretty smart, huh? No one would suspect a thing." She was so damn cute when sleepy. Kaidan couldn't almost believe it was t same woman who just hours ago had threatened Fist to shot his head off.

"Why didn't you ask Chakwas for some pills?"

"Yeah and I could talk to Joker to open up the ship's intercom and announce what a coward I am who can't sleep in a pod because of something that happened twelve years ago. Yep, Kaidan."

"You're not a coward, May," he said quietly, running his hand up her spine. "You've just been through a lot." Then he patted the nape of her neck and continued with amusement: "Don't your neck hurt?"

"Go away…"

He laughed again, leaning against the chair's backrest. "Well, we still have some time before the hearing and I was thinking that we could steal some of this time for ourselves and go out for a dinner… or breakfast from the look at you," he added, grinning. "Just you and me. But if you're not interested…"

She smiled and sat up, stretching. "Mhm…you have the greatest ideas."

* * *

To be continued.

And now's the time for author's rambling! Yahoo! Ahem, well, it saddens me to say that this chapter is probably the last I managed to write so quickly. For the nexth month and a half I will take long again until I'm done (successfully, I hope) with diploma exams. I hope you enjoyed this one and once again ask for your patience. As usually, thank you for reading and see you next time :)


	27. The thief

Disclaimer: I don't own ME. The credit for the fantastic universe goes to Bioware.

* * *

"Okay, Kaidan…" Maya sighed and rested the little teaspoon on the half-empty plate. Not that the desert wasn't good. Chocolate cake was chocolate cake whoever made it, but May preferred those made by humans. And this one wasn't. She even suspected it wasn't made of real cocoa beans. It simply lacked the right, rich taste that made you close your eyes with pleasure. "I've been waiting for you to ask, but apparently I need to speak first. So...it's pretty obvious something's eating at you," she said softly, reaching across the table to take his hand in hers. "What is the matter, Kaidan? Is it something I can help you with?" she asked, tilting her head to one side, knitting her eyebrows together in concern.

He smiled at her shortly, letting go of his own teaspoon. He pushed his plate aside and his eyes lingered on her hand on his. Her knuckles had been grazed from her usual intensive trainings. The little wounds were nearly healed by now, but the skin still wasn't smooth yet. His eyes slowly rose up her right arm. He couldn't see it now, but he knew there was a thin, pink scar on it just above her elbow. She'd been shot by Adam back on the Citadel. And the other one from Elysium.

As his eyes climbed even higher, his lips perked up a little. She'd dislocated her shoulder once, though Kaidan wasn't now sure if it had been the right or the left one, now. He was smiling by the time he looked at the scar on her chin. A mission gone wrong. Her team been sent to save hostages. Only after one of them had attacked her with a glass shard - aiming at the only unprotected part of her body, her face - the shore team realized those hadn't been hostages at all and they had been lured into a trap. And he could go one like that all day. He knew every inch of her body, when she got each scar and what story hid behind them. He knew which ones she hated, like the one she got on Mindoir. The one on her left thigh. And he knew those she loved. Namely the one on her chin. He loved it, too, so he kissed it often. Which was probably the reason why she loved it. On the other hand, he often kissed the one on her eyebrow, but it wasn't one of her favourites…

Finally, his eyes finished the inspection and met her large emeralds, and he couldn't help but smile. This was his Maya. Not a lady, never a lady. She was a fighter, the one who put her neck to risk whenever necessary. And as he'd seen just several hours ago, she was damn good at it. And she seemed to even enjoy the action. Of course, he knew what the adrenaline rush can do to a human body and that one could become addicted on it. But Maya...she simply liked that she could make the difference. That she could help catch a bastard or two. Like Saren.

That he had stopped smiling he realized only thanks to the way her eyes grew worried.

"Kaidan?" she whispered. Apparently he'd taken too long with examining her.

"Sorry, I got...carried away a little. Eh...yeah, you're right. There is something. And you can definitely help me with it. I...I've been thinking about our future," he said quietly.

She smiled hesitantly, but her eyes, as always, told Kaidan just how nervous the statement made her. "Wow..." she started saying. She reached for her glass of water and took a sip. "Wow..." she repeated and the smile grew wilder. "According to the rich palette of expressions on your face during the whole meal we're going to argue a lot and end up divorced within the first year of our marriage." He knew May made jokes only to make him feel better...or to hide her own anxiety. Fear, anger...she masked it all with humour. _When you smile despite feeling down, you fool your body into believing you're actually fine..._she liked to say.

Kaidan shook his head and licked his suddenly dry lips. He turned his hand under hers and captured it. To prevent himself from fumbling with anything in reach nervously, he used his other hand to cover hers, too. "No, nothing of the sort," he said calmly. She'd told him he was always too calm...except for strictly private moments. And she had never hesitated to add she would never have it any other way. "In five months I'm going to become the luckiest man alive and nothing can ever change that. I was just thinking about what it is going to mean for our jobs..." he started slowly explaining. Though just as the words left his mouth he winced slightly. It came out all wrong.

"Nothing," she stated simply, still smiling. "Other than the brass would probably pay close attention to our assignments and make sure we never end up on the same ship again. For long I couldn't understand why they allowed Anderson to put us on the same crew," she shrugged. "Of course, I didn't know about the whole Spectre business then."

"So let's enjoy this opportunity until it lasts. We can use it to get to know each other... more."

Maya blinked at that, twice. "We've been together for six years. How more do you want to get to know me?" she asked. Maybe it was his imagination, but she sounded mildly defensive now.

"Well, you definitely surprised me today...yesterday..." he mused for a second. "Back at Chora's Den. I mean I'm used to seeing John threatening people. He doesn't even need to say anything to be intimidating. But you..." Kaidan broke off. Not a great way to placate her.

The confusion in her eyes gave way to fear. "Is this...why you're thinking about our future? Are you having second thoughts about the whole thing?" she asked slowly, carefully, studying him.

"No!" Kaidan hurried with a reply, tightening his hold on her hand. She noticed his thumb started to caress her ring finger. "Never think that," he went on. "It's not related anyhow to what I wanted to talk to you about."

At this moment her hand escaped from between his palms as she sat back in the chair, now looking really clueless. "Kaidan, you've lost me there," she said plainly, shrugging. "I'm not sure where you're going with all this. No, I'm _pretty sure_ I have absolutely _no_ idea what you mean."

Kaidan sighed. Maya was...well, she wasn't an ordinary woman and he knew it. Only the past few years had given her more than anyone else could hope for. She was the hero of the Blitz, N7 operative, the Commander, a prospective first human Spectre and his future wife. _The mother_ was simply one title too many. "I...I always knew you were tough and independent," he started slowly, not really sure how to put it. "Even before I saw you with my own eyes today, I knew you could handle yourself and take care of those under your wing like no one else. Otherwise you wouldn't have made it this far, after all... A gunfight is to you like breathing to the rest of us. Combat is your element and you're..."

While he was talking, Maya used her teaspoon to slice off a bit of the cake and quickly reached across the table to put it into his mouth. That he hadn't seen it coming only proved how nervous he was. "You're babbling," she explained with a soft smile as his hand covered hers and pulled the teaspoon out of his mouth. He used his other hand to free the teaspoon and laid it on his plate next to his. Her hand however remained once again trapped in his. She didn't seem to mind as her fingers closed around his anyway.

"What if I still plan to finish the cake?" she asked.

He shook his head with amusement, but he was grateful for the distraction. It bought him more time to think. Realizing there simply was no other way than to simply say it out loud, he swallowed. "I'd like to have a family with you, May, but I'm not really sure if I can ask this of you with you being so good at it and so caught up in it," he finally blurted out.

A few seconds passed and nothing happened. She went completely still, even seemed to forget to breathe. Then his words eventually sunk in and she took a deep breath. And the hand in his palm started shaking slightly.

Six years and he could still do it. Make the little butterflies in her stomach flutter madly and the warm sensation spread to every part of her body. "Family...as in...kids?" she finally asked and a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. "So...this future," she added, seeming relieved all of sudden and she laughed, covering her face with her hand for a few seconds. Her smiled was wide when she rested it on the table again. "Well... why not? I mean...yeah. I found myself in my job, but...Kaidan..." she paused for a moment. She tugged on his hand, motioning him to lean closer and when he did, she kissed him gently. "Despite it all, Kaidan, you always come first."

His hand found the back of her neck and he pulled her closer again. The kiss was slow and sweet and Maya wished it could last a lifetime. It felt too soon when he pulled away from her. His eyes were shining and he was smiling broadly.

All at once everything was bright and nice again.

"Just..." she laughed, "please, don't mention it to Mom," she begged him.

"Why not?" He didn't try to conceal his amusement.

She ran her fingers through her hair. "Well...you apparently haven't been so lucky to get daily tons of messages from her about the preparations, or what awesome wedding dress she saw today, or other stuff. I don't want to be bombarded with baby's clothes, too," she shook her head. She was only half-serious though, and Kaidan knew it. She was infinitely grateful her Mom had volunteered to take care of the whole thing.

"Well, okay, that's settled," Kaidan smiled, and then suddenly turned sombre again. "Although there is one thing I meant to ask you yet..." he paused for a moment. "What did you promise Garrus?"

...

"So...what's the truth?" Joker drawled when John sat down in the co-pilot's seat heavily. He looked like he'd just finished a marathon. Or maybe it was the knowledge of yet another session with the Council. Or the gentle waking her sister had put him through.

"The truth?" John repeated, closing his eyes. Yeah, it was probably the rough waking. "The truth about what? Have you heard any juicy gossips or what?"

"I've heard...something," Joker nodded, watching the marine. "And I'm not very sure what to make of it," he went on as a devilish grin started to spread on his face. "I mean...the Commander and Alenko? Wow..."

Whatever was behind his obvious exhaustion, _this_ woke him up within a heartbeat. John's eyes snapped open and he turned his eyes to the grinning pilot. "What did you say?" he asked, carefully keeping his voice down.

"I...might have overheard something..."

"You were spying on them?"

"So it's true!" Joker exclaimed and laughed. "I could hear next to nothing, as they spent the whole time whispering to each other."

"Joker..." John growled.

The pilot raised his hands in defensive manner, palms to the marine. "Hey, not my fault. The ship's computer told me the elevator had been stopped, so I wanted to check what was wrong. It's my job to take care of the baby, you know? There's no camera in the elevator, but I can hear what's happening inside," he shrugged, talking as if an affair between the XO and the Lieutenant was a common thing. "Damn, now I understand why he was such a pain in the neck when I got all excited about having FemShep on board."

"Fem…What?!"

"FemShep. Well, we need to talk about you sometimes and it's so very confusing with simple Shepard. Shepard here, Shepard there and suddenly there are just too many Shepards on this ship. So, she's Femshep and you're MaleShep or BroShep, 'cause you're the big brother," Joker went on, ignoring John's utterly horrified face. "Feel special. You have two nicknames. She has just one. If you don't count William's Skipper."

"You gotta be kidding," John muttered when steps echoed from the corridor and stopped behind them. "Why not use first names, goddamned?!"

"First names are too mainstream. And we're not such a good buds for such intimacy as first names."

"What's the matter? What names?" Kaidan asked and Joker smirked. "I've told him about the nicknames."

Kaidan chuckled and looked at John who had just performed a very nice facepalm. "Don't try to fight it. It's already spread throughout the crew."

"You knew about it?" John barked, turning in the co-pilots seat.

He shrugged and Ashley's arrival spared him the need to answer. "So…ready to go? Where is Skipper?" she asked, looking from Kaidan to John, who just took a deep breath. "Why not our ranks?" he asked, looking at Joker.

Kaidan shook his head. "Like I said, John. Don't try to fight it. The battle's already lost." Turning to Ashley, he added: "Anderson asked Shepard to meet him in Udina's office before the hearing," Kaidan explained. The Captain's message had untimely ended their date, so he knew.

"Yeah, and she was so incredibly kind to storm in an hour ago and wake me up just to tell me I'm in charge of you two," John stated, still feeling a little bit grumpy about the whole mess with their names. "So now, when you're both here, let's head to the Tower."

...

It felt like walking into a lion's den when the door to Udina's office opened, letting May in. Udina was sitting behind his desk and Anderson was enjoying the breathtaking view of the Citadel Presidium. He turned around to welcome the marine with a warm smile. Udina, on the other hand, didn't even bother to stand up, just shot her an impatient look. Sure, she'd taken her sweet time leaving Kaidan.

She quickly pushed the thoughts somewhere very deep inside, fighting to keep the smile off her face. "You wanted to speak to me, sir?" she addressed her CO, ignoring the politician completely.

Anderson nodded shortly and crossed the room. The door she'd left open hissed at the moment and closed, cutting off all noises coming from the rest of the Embassy. "With the Ambassador here," Anderson waved his hand towards the politician nonchalantly, "we've been discussing what else, apart from stripping Saren of his Spectre status, we could get from the whole situation today."

Finally, Udina rose behind his desk, but didn't walk around it. "We're going to lob for you to become a Spectre," he said flatly.

Maya contained her disbelief and doubts when she regarded the men. When she didn't say anything, Anderson started speaking again. "I know you're not exactly thrilled by the idea."

"No, I'm not," she finally said, trying to keep her tone polite. "I'm content where I am, sir. I don't aspire to be more."

"This is a chance, Shepard," Udina said, glowering at her.

"The Ambassador is right," Anderson nodded. "Like I said, Earth needs this. I understand your reluctance. I've known you for years now and know where your loyalties lie." He didn't need to say: not with the Council. It was obvious enough. "A human Spectre might help us to get a better position. You will be helping humanity."

"I…understand," Maya said slowly. Then, with a heavy sigh, she finally dropped the tough-soldier act. He shoulders slumped, her posture relaxed, her hands she didn't even realized she'd clasped behind her back again fell to her sides. She walked to the balcony, hoping Anderson might follow. She heard the creak of a chair as Udina sat down again and Anderson's steps as he stopped behind her. This was as much of a privacy she was about to get. She looked at the elder man over her shoulder. "You know what's between me and Kaidan, Anderson," she said quietly. "Despite our careers, the Alliance is a way to stay more or less together. I'm afraid the Council won't respect that."

"Is this the reason?"

She shrugged, eyeing the view outside the balcony. Her thoughts returned to the talk Kaidan and she had not long ago and couldn't suppress the feeling of disappointment. If the Council made her a Spectre today, she could hardly afford to take a few years of maternity leave at the moment. "It's the biggest one."

"Look at it this way, Maya. Now you're breaking the military protocol. As a Spectre…" he broke off, gesturing towards the view in front of them as if it held all the answer.

She took a slow breath and let it out again. There really was nothing she could do, except for accepting the defeat with dignity. Besides, she was being pathetic. They weren't even married yet and she was thinking like that. Kaidan hadn't specified _when_ he'd like to have a baby with her. "I've sworn to help humanity the best way I can. So let's bring it on. But I'm not wearing the Spectre emblem on my armour," she said resolutely. "The Alliance and N7 stay." Then she turned to the Ambassador. "Do you want me to do or say anything during the hearing?"

"Your staying until the end of the hearing will suffice, Commander. If you also restrained from verbally attacking the Council, it would be highly appreciated as well.

She turned her back to him, leaning her elbows against the handrail of the balcony. "You probably haven't seen me verbally attacking anyone, Mr. Important," she muttered under her breath. Anderson rested a hand on her shoulder. In a quiet voice he started instructing her how exactly the Ambassador planned to let the hearing unfold.

...

Unlike before, now was the way up the Tower rather enjoyable. The tension was gone as they all knew the hearing would be in their favour now. The evidence was solid and not even Saren could lie his way out of this one.

"I would like to know how they made the sky…" Ashley mused, looking up. She was bent over a little bit, her face almost touching the glass wall as the elevator raced up the side of the Tower. She smiled as she watched a white, puffy cloud slowly moving across the blue sky lazily.

"Does it matter? It's here and it makes you feel almost like you're home," John threw in.

"As long as you don't look at the guy standing next to you. There are still too few people on the Citadel for my liking," Ashley added. She backed from the glass as the elevator started slowing down.

"At least we have our own Embassy unlike batarians," John pointed out and turned around, waiting for the door to open. It was obvious it was early morning on the Citadel. There weren't as many people cruising the Tower as it had been the previous day. But, just like the previous day, they were late. The hearing had already started and as they neared, they could hear Saren's distinctive turian voice reverberating in the chamber as the evidence was publicly displayed for the handful of watchers on the stands.

As the group climbed the stairs to the very top of the chamber, they could see the Commander, the Captain and the Ambassador were all already here, standing side by side at the end of the platform. Unlike the arriving marines, Commander Shepard was unarmed. She paid her brother a fleeting smile over her shoulder before focusing back on the Council. By the time the recording had finished and the room filled with silence as the Councillors regarded each other. So maybe the recording wasn't for bystanders, but for the Councillors themselves. They sure looked like they heard it for the first time.

Udina stepped forward. "You wanted proof. There it is!" he pointed at them.

May looked at him from the corner of her eye. And this man had lectured her about dealing with the Council…yet here he was, performing his aggressive approach once again.

Either the Council was blind to it – though Shepard highly doubted it – or they simply decided to ignore it, because Sparatus simply nodded, taking his point. "The evidence is irrefutable," he admitted. "Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes against your colony." As he finished, he met Shepard's eyes for a short while.

"I recognize the other voice," the asari Councillor spoke up. "The one speaking with Saren. Matriarch Benezia."

Heeding the Ambassador's advice to keep quiet Maya didn't ask who it was, though the question burned on her tongue.

"I am more interested in the Reapers," Valern mused, touching his chin lightly with his three-fingered hand in incredibly human-like gesture. He also blinked. So did Shepard when, as soon as the Councillor said "Reapers", had a very, very bad feeling. A snatch of the images she'd seen while being unconscious flashed in front of her eyes. When she was once back in the present, Anderson was speaking, answering the Councillor's question Maya just hadn't heard being asked. _Creepy_. "Only what was extracted from the geth's memory core." He and the quarian, Tali, had worked on the memory core for quite some time in order to dig out every piece of information they could. In fact, Tali had worked on it and the Captain had just observed. Finding an intact geth memory core was incredibly rare. "The Reapers were an ancient race of machines that wiped out the Protheans. Then they vanished." He paused to take a breath. "The get believe the Reapers are gods and Saren is the prophet for their return. And the Conduit is the key to bringing them back."

"Do we even know what this Conduit is?" Valern asked the most obvious question.

And the answer was even more evident. But saying simple "no" just sounded really bad in May's head. "Saren thinks it can bring back the Reapers. That's bad enough," she said firmly. In other words, she'd told them they had no idea what it was, but that it also didn't matter.

Sparatus shook his head at this moment. "Listen to what you're saying!" he practically exclaimed. "Saren wants to bring back machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy?" When he put it that way, it did sound stupid. "Impossible. It has to be," he went on. "Where did the Reapers go?" he asked, his voice, loud and clear, was the only thing keeping May in the present and not lost in the series of images that forced its way from the back of her mind. "Why did they vanish? How come we've found no trace of their existence? If they were real, we'd have found something!" he said quickly. He spoke sense, though. All the questions he'd asked were perfectly justified and the lack of answers was disturbing. What had happened fifty thousand years ago? Why? How?

Forgetting Udina's request, May stepped forward until she stood right next to the Ambassador. "I tried to warn you about Saren and you refused to face the truth. Don't make the same mistake again." She could tell, by his slow, deep intake of breath, that Udina was not happy with her.

"This is different," Tevos countered. "You proved Saren betrayed the Council. We all agree he's using the geth to search for the Conduit, but we don't really know why."

Valern was nodding the whole time the asari was speaking, waiting for her to finish. "The Reapers are obviously just a myth, Commander. A convenient lie to cover Saren's true purpose. A legend he is using to bend the geth to his will."

"Fifty thousand years ago," Shepard started again, "the Reapers wiped out all the galactic civilization. If Saren finds the Conduit, it will happen again."

"Saren is a rogue agent on the run for his life," Sparatus opposed. "He no longer has rights or resources of a Spectre. The Council has stripped him of his position." He was speaking as if solely this fact could make the turian reconsider his plans.

"That is not good enough!" Udina stepped in and for once Maya had to agree with him. "You know he's hiding somewhere in the Traverse. Send your fleet in!" he finished with his hand cutting the air in front of him, clenching into fist.

Shepard narrowed her eyes at him. This was a bad move. Once again he ordered the Council around, not to mention that sending a fleet in the Terminus system would mean big troubles. She only wondered how he could make it this far, with such a lack for subtlety. Yes, he tried to protect the humanity's best interests, but it was the how of it that made Maya question his competences.

"A fleet cannot track down one man," Valern shook his head.

"A Citadel fleet could secure the entire region," Udina kept on. "Keep the geth from attacking any more of our colonies."

"Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus Systems," Sparatus voiced May's thoughts. "We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies."

As the turian was talking, Anderson cleared his throat, drawing Shepard's attention. As their eyes locked, he gave her a meaningful look. She nodded and turned back to the Council. She took a deep breath, feeling like an actress at a premiere. "I agree, Councillors," she said. "Sending the whole fleet would be highly ineffective and it would only cause further problems neither of us is interested in. The situation now requires more delicate approach."

At this moment Anderson joined them at the end of the platform. "Even without his Spectre status Saren's going to be a remarkable enemy to hunt down. It would take someone as skilled as him to succeed."

"I may not be exactly a Spectre," Maya went on, "but I've been through enough intensive training to stand a chance against him. I can take him down," she said firmly.

She expected the Councillors to be at least partially surprised by their silent request, but Tevos reacted as if she was just waiting for her to step forward and _ask_. "The Commander's right. There is a way to stop Saren that doesn't require fleets or armies." Maybe it was Shepard's imagination, but she could swear Tevos shot a ghost of a smile her way. Well, of course…Tevos was an asari. Asari were mono-genre species so it would be only logical she could admire strong and ambitious women. _Unlike some humans,_ Shepard thought grimly, eyeing the Ambassador. He looked smug as if this all was his work.

Now there was a short pause. Apparently her admittance to the Spectres wasn't among their recently discussed topics and Tevlon's open invitation surprised the rest of the Councillors. "No!" Sparatus turned his head to the asari. "It's too soon. Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres."

"You don't have to send a fleet into the Traverse, the Ambassador gets his human Spectre, and someone is hot on Saren's tracks…everybody's happy," Maya stated dryly.

At that moment Sparatus' holographic head disappeared from the air, and the two remaining holograms quickly followed. The Councillors were far too away from the platform to be heard, but it was obvious their discussion was mainly between the asari and the turian.

"I believe the guy on the left has some major issues regarding my person," Maya stated in bored voice and turned around, walking down the platform to the rest of marines. Unlike the Councillors', their faces still looked rather surprised. Maya crossed her arms over her chest. "At least close your mouths."

"Have you rehearsed it or what?" John asked with the same bored tone she'd used just a minute ago.

"Planned is more like it," she corrected him. "Though I got the feeling Tevos…" she trailed off when she heard Anderson calling her name. She spun around and saw the three large heads watching her intently.

"Commander Shepard," Tevos said in a tone that sounded strangely ceremonially. "Step forward."

Anderson and Udina both retreated almost to the rest of the shore party while Maya walked to the very edge of the platform. She noticed there were suddenly a lot more people on the stands, leaning closer to hear and see everything that was about to occur. They were whispering to each other, pointing down at her, which made her feel like an animal in a zoo, but all the sensation died away when the Councillors started speaking. Talking one at a time, they explained what it meant to be a Spectre and didn't forget to mention what great accomplishment for humanity it was. And just like that, she wasn't only Special Forces operative, but Special Tactics and Reconnaissance, too. With adding, that any relevant files about her mission would be forwarded to the Ambassador, Tevos declared the meeting adjourned.

When the big holograms disappeared again, she turned on her heel and walked back to others.

Anderson laid his hand on her shoulder when she approached them. "Congratulations, Commander." She sadly smiled at him. While waiting for the hearing to start, she had finally had the time to ask him about Saren and the obvious history they shared. And right now…she just felt like she stole the whole thing from him.

"You've got a lot of work to do, Shepard," Udina said harshly. "You're going to need a ship, a crew, supplies…" he listed out loud, looking at the Captain. "Anderson, come with me. I'll need your help to set all this up," he barked out, already striding away.

"What a snake," Ashley murmured when they were out of earshot. "He didn't even thank you or anything," she looked at Shepard.

"I don't need his thanks," Maya replied softly, watching Anderson's back. She had this strange feeling the title of Spectre wouldn't be the last thing she would steal from him. Why else the Udina wanted to take the Captain with him after all, if not for his ship? She'd noticed the way he watched Anderson.

"You're supposed to be happy now, sis," John commented her long face.

She shot him a forced smile and then sighed. "You go to the ship without me. I'll wait here for a while, until the hugeness of what happened finally hits home, and then I'll follow those two. I don't want them to talk about me, without me." Not to mention her weapons were still in Udina's office.

"You're sure, Commander?" Kaidan asked gently, maybe too gently which made Ashley's eyebrow rose.

"Yes. Thanks for your concern. I'll catch up with you later."

While Ashley and Kaidan already turned away, John touched her arm, giving his sister a wicked smile. "I'll send message to Earth."

"Gee, thanks. It's not like my mailbox isn't already flooded with all the stuff about the big day."

"Man up and suffer quietly," he laughed. "She should know from us, not the press."

Maya shrugged. "Yeah...nothing improves a day like knowing your daughter's been sent to track down a dangerous madman," she made a face, but then a genuine smile crossed her lips. "Tell her I say hi. And go already."

She watched her team walk away from her when she noticed a person stopped right next to her. Her eyes widened when she realized who it was. The turian crossed his arms over his chest. "They seem loyal to your person, Commander."

"They sure are, Councillor," she nodded with a smile. "They know they can trust me. As I hope will you, too," she turned to Sparatus.

His small, predatory eyes bore into hers as they regarded each other for a minute. "Your superiors speak favourably of you," he said eventually. Turians followed a strict code of hierarchy and high military standards. Considering this, Maya was almost sure what the Councillor had said was meant as a compliment.

"I understand you're not exactly thrilled with me. I've proved one of yours turned rogue, but I didn't do it gladly, Councillor," she said.

He blinked once, waiting for her to add something.

"Becoming an N7 is just as great honour and challenge for us as being a Spectre is for your species. Seven years ago one of us took part in rather brutal brawl and killed a krogan. As remarkable as it was, it was a crime and he was discharged and imprisoned. I never felt more ashamed to be N7."

"You admire the murderer?" Sparatus asked quietly and his eyes slid from her face. They lingered for a few short moments on the N7 emblem on her armour.

Maya waited patiently until he looked back into her face before correcting him. "I admire his skills, not the man himself," she shook her head resolutely. "It's not exactly a piece of cake killing a furious krogan with nothing but a knife," she paused for a moment. "What I meant by it is I understand your feelings. And your drive to protect your own," she added quietly and her eyes travelled across Sparatus' white markings on his face. "I didn't know him much, but Nihlus made a great first impression on me." Just as the turian's name left her lips, Sparatus' mandibles twitched. He must have been surprised by her sudden change of topic. "I think it would have been a unique experience, fighting beside him," she added in a quieter tone. But when Sparatus' eyes narrowed at her and he was about to say something, she interrupted him. "If you excuse me now, Councillor, I've got a Spectre to hunt." With a nod of her head she left the turian standing at the top of the stairs.

...

"Commander?" Udina barked out when she appeared at the threshold of his office. This time he stood up behind his desk, apparently outraged by her storming in. Only she didn't storm in, she simply walked in. Like before Anderson stood on the balcony, but then he walked to meet Shepard in the middle of the office.

"Why the surprise? Don't you think I have a say in this matter, Ambassador?" she asked dryly, folding her arms over her chest. "Yet I wasn't invited to the party. Captain..." she smiled at Anderson as he approached her. As a response he nodded, his face serious.

"You'll be pleased to hear we've found a ship and a crew for you, Commander," Udina announced, walking around the table slowly.

Maya looked at Anderson and he nodded. He even smiled a little to encourage her. "She's perfect for this mission, Commander. She's quick and quiet..."

"...and has the best crew in the whole Alliance," she finished for him with a heavy sigh. "I hate stealing the Normandy from you, Captain.

Udina clicked his tongue as he crossed his office and stopped close to the two marines. "There is no need to get so dramatic, Commander. The ship goes where she's needed. And she's needed in the Traverse to hunt down Saren."

Maya frowned at him. "Go and explain that to Rear Admiral Mikhailovich, commander of the 63rd Scout Flotila of the Fifth fleet, Ambassador. The Normandy was supposed to be assigned to his flotila after her shakedown run. He won't be pleased," she hissed. Then she turned to her former CO. "I understand the necessity, Captain. That doesn't mean I have to like it, which I don't. But I understand," she repeated.

"You don't have to feel so guilty, Maya. Someone needs to take Saren down, though it will be more difficult than it might seem now. He's gone."

"I'll find him when I find the Conduit," she said and Anderson smiled.

"The Council forwarded some files you might be interested in, Commander," Udina stepped in again. "I've already sent them to your ship, but from what I've seen Therum might be worth visiting."

"Since we know the geth now cooperate with Saren, you should also investigate what happened on Feros," Anderson advised. "The colony sent a report of them in the Feros system shortly before it dropped out of contact."

May's eyes widened at the mention of this. She was sensitive about colonies being attacked for apparent reasons. Though if the colony had already proved unreachable...she simply wasn't looking forward to going there and seeing what was left of it.

Udina, who was nodding the whole time the Captain was speaking, took a quick breath. "Their activity has been spotted near Noveria, too, according to the Council's files."

"Got it," Maya nodded. "I won't let you down. I'll find Saren and stop him before..." she hesitated for a moment, unsure whether mentioning the Reapers would be wise or not. "Before he fulfils his plans," she finished. "By the way, what's on Therum? Also a geth activity?"

"Matriarch Benezia's daughter," specified Udina. "Her name is Liara. Dr. Liara T'Soni. The Council is convinced it would be worth the try to find her. See what she knows."

"How do we know she's on Therum?" Maya wondered. Not that she doubted the Council's resources, but to pinpoint someone's exact location so quickly did seem rather convenient. Maybe she was paranoid, maybe not, but this could be trap.

Could Saren doubt his men's abilities to get the evidence before them? Could this be some kind of a safeguard if the Council found out about Benezia's involvement in the whole thing? On the other hand, if this wasn't the case, and the asari didn't know about her mother's recent activities, she might be in danger.

"We have reports about her examining some Prothean dig sites," Udina waved his hand.

"Sounds like we should head to the Artemis Tau cluster first," Maya decided.

"Your ship, your decision," Anderson said, but he also nodded, which told Maya that he approved. Maybe he'd come to the same conclusion about the asari. "You're a Spectre now. You don't answer to us."

"That doesn't mean I refuse your counsel, Captain," she smiled. "Anything else I should know?"

"Maybe one more thing about your crew, Commander," added Anderson. "I've allowed the krogan to join the crew. The quarian also expressed wish to come on board. So did the C-Sec investigator." The longer he was talking, the broader smile was on his face. "You made quite a lot of new allies, Commander. The provision officer on the Normandy has already taken care of the food for the newest dextro-amino-acid-based crewmembers."

"The more the better," Maya shrugged. "But I better head to the ship and...oh...have some speech probably," she mused, touching the side of her neck as she went to Udina's table for her weapons.

"Don't mess anything up, Commander," said Udina for goodbyes. "You might be a Spectre, but you're still human and your actions reflect on us all. If you screw things up, I'll have to clean it up."

"Oh, poor, poor Ambassador," she muttered under her breath as the door closed behind her. Feeling more confident with her weapons back safely in their slots on her armour, she begun the journey to the Normandy's dock. She noticed some people – mostly humans to be specific – stopped when she passed them by and stared or pointed at her, whispering. Few of them even approached her and congratulated her personally on the great accomplishment. It lifted her spirit considerably and when she arrived on the Normandy, not even the stupid decontamination bothered her.

After the inner door opened, she turned left, walking in the cockpit. Hearing her steps, the pilot turned in the seat to get a better look at her. "Hey, Commander," he smiled at her, and then his expression turned serious again. "Words travel fast," he said, jerking his head to the general direction of the Citadel. "I heard about the Captain. Survives hundreds of battles and then gets taken down by backroom politics. You know you're next, right?"

She snorted, putting her hand on the top of Joker's seat. "Yeah. That's what happens when you suddenly find yourself on the top of the chain of command."

"And that's why I'm glad I'm just a helmsman..." he said with a lopsided smile. "So...how was the session with the Council?"

Broad smile crossed her lips. "Great fun. Pity you missed it."

"Didn't. Interrogated Ashley."

She nodded and the smile froze on her lips as her eyes trailed across the control panel in front of Joker. Anderson should be in her place, chatting with the pilot while she should be downstairs, already stripping from her armour. Instead it was up to her to tell Joker to set the course and to tell the crew about their mission. "I guess I should probably talk to the crew."

"Have you ever made a speech like that?" Joker asked simply, any traces of their previously flippant small talk gone. "No, wait. Stupid question. Your talking to colonists on Elysium is legendary. Either way, don't worry. The crew's behind you. Like I said, we know about what happened and no one blames you. There was nothing you could do. Do you want me to open the intercom now?" Joker blurted out.

"Yes, do so," she nodded. She waited until he looked at her and nodded before she took a slow breath. "This is Commander Shepard speaking," she introduced herself first. "We have our orders. Find the Saren before he finds the Conduit." She had little doubts that they already knew everything about the matter. "I won't lie to you, crew. The mission isn't going to be easy. This began with an attack on a human settlement in the Traverse. But we know Saren won't stop there. His geth armies aren't going to stay on the far fringes of Citadel Space. And he knows we're coming. Wherever he searches for the Conduit, we'll be there, too. We will hunt him to the very ends of the galaxy and bring him down. Humanity needs to do this. Not for just our own sake, but for the sake of every other species in Citadel Space. Saren must be stopped. And we will stop him. Shepard out..."

"Well said, Commander," Joker praised her just as he closed the 'com. "Captain would be proud."

"Let's keep making him proud," she uttered, patting his shoulder. Then she turned around, finally heading to the hangar to get rid of the armour. "Oh, Joker? Take us away. Course for Therum, Artemis Tau cluster."

"Yes, ma'am..."

* * *

To be continued as usually. I hope you liked this chapter and thank you all for reading and your support :)


	28. Unlikely Ally, hopefully

Disclaimer: I don't own ME.

* * *

Garrus' narrowed eyes watched the redheaded sitting across the table from him, his face unmoving. Which wasn't all that difficult considering the lack of proper facial muscles where turians were concerned. He'd let go of a fork long ago, focusing solely on her story instead of his food, because it made absolutely no sense. "I don't understand," he said slowly, his eyes blinking once.

Shepard smiled at that, though the smile was accompanied with knitting eyebrows together, which puzzled Garrus. Furrowing their foreheads like that usually meant humans were angry…or sad…or thoughtful. But she was smiling which was a sign of happiness and that didn't go together with any of those emotions. And when she spoke, she sounded like she felt sorry for him for some reason. Humans were complicated. "Garrus…" she sighed and then laughed softly. "What don't you understand? It's plain simple. We started shaking hands to show we have no weapons concealed anywhere to harm the other person."

"But you can see that," he opposed. It was logical. When you approached someone, you could see whether or not they were armed.

"No, back then people tended to hide the arms…eh…for example in their sleeves," she waved her head and frowned again. Was she now angry? Or maybe impatient.

Either way, Garrus' eyes slid from her face to her hands resting on the table between them. And she laughed again. "Well, not these sleeves and not the guns you know. But if the sleeves were loose I could easily hide a knife in them."

"It would fall out."

Not being alone in the mess, of course, their conversation had drawn attention of other crewmembers. One of which just snickered, but tried to hide it as he took the cup in front of him and sipped from it.

"They couldn't. There were special pockets for them sewed inside. Or such pockets could be found in boots or if women had rich skirts then between the folds."

"And you didn't see the pockets?"

She shook her head.

"Then how shaking hand would help you if you had a knife in your shoes or sleeve?"

She started laughing. The other guy still tried his best to be quiet, but was failing miserably. "It wouldn't much," she admitted, nodding. "But sometimes, during the handshake, you used your other hand to grasp the wrist of the other person, so you'd feel it," she explained. "Either way, the tradition prevailed, though the meaning has changed. Now it tells you what kind of character the other person is. I mean…if the handshake is firm, your partner is strong and self-confident. If it's weak, then it's…the opposite." She paused now. "Actually, that's just so well-known these days so it lost its meaning, now, too. Okay…if this is too confusing, forget it and consider it just a way to greet humans."

Garrus watched her as she spoke with the same intensity as before. The new purpose of the handshake was much clearer to him, at least it made sense. But one thing was still escaping him. "How did the handshake's purpose change from showing you didn't want to kill the other person to telling what they are like?"

While the other soldier burst out laughing, Shepard put on a thoughtful face…or at least Garrus considered it a thoughtful expression. "You know, Garrus, that's a very good question." She nodded, touching her chin with her fingers. "I don't know," she said plainly, shrugging.

"Your species is strange, Shepard."

She lifted a finger as if she wanted to draw attention. "No. We only have very interesting traditions.

"Name another," Garrus said simply.

"Well, let's see…" she broke off, biting down on her lower lip. Garrus tilted his head to one side as he watched the gesture. She did it a lot, he'd noticed. "Christmas," she said with a wide smile.

"What is it?"

"A holiday. Almost at the end of the year," she started explaining. "Originally we celebrated the winter solstice that day, later it was a birthday celebration of one of the most famous religion prophets, but somewhere along the way it has turned into a big event when you spend your time with friends and families and you give presents to each other. Don't ask about that. It's a very peaceful time of a year, or so everyone pretends," she laughed.

"Why do they pretend it?"

"Because it's…I don't know. You live your life some way…and suddenly you have to love everyone and be always happy and smiling and…stuff. Some people don't like Christmas because of that."

"What about you?"

"Me?" she smiled. "It's different for me. I…am…not home very often. And apart form the Normandy, I don't even get to see John or Kaidan…" At this point her eyes widened quickly and narrowed. Whatever emotion was behind it, it didn't show on her face however, as she went on fluently as if she didn't even know about it. "Mom, Lena or Tobias…oh my. I haven't seen Tobias in ages," she smiled and ran her fingers through her hair. They were in touch, but personal contact was scarce, thanks to Tobias' groundless hatred towards Maya. "I don't have a chance to be with my family and friends. During Christmas, we all have the opportunity to get together."

Garrus already knew she, her brother and the Lieutenant were childhood friends - gossips worked that way even if you were another species and just a mere hours on the ship. But he had to be somehow special, considering her reaction. But before he could form a careful question about the exact nature of their relationship, the pilot's voice resonated through the ship. "Commander? Someone wants to speak with you."

"Who is it?" she asked immediately, looking at the ceiling as if she could see the pilot's face on it. Then she took the glass in front of her, half-full of some brightly orange liquid, when Joker responded. "It's your mother," he said dryly and Shepard jerked. She slammed the glass onto the table, spilling the liquid around, and started coughing into her hand, turning away from the table. When she spoke up again, her face was flushed and her voice was hoarse. "I'll take it in the comm room. Tell John to meet me there immediately." No way was she facing her mother without reinforcements. With John by her side…well…she just wanted to have John there, too. Not that she was afraid of her own Mom, but…actually, she was lately. The wedding stuff she constantly wanted to talk about was the reason.

Joker's voice, this time talking to the Lieutenant, sounded amused.

"Excuse me," she rasped out and flashed Garrus a smile as she rose to her feet. She quickly ran up the stairs leading to the upper deck, returned the salute of the soldier stationed at the top – for the forth time today at least – and headed to the comm room.

Even before the door managed to close behind her, she approached the console and turned off the ship's intercom she suspected Joker had left on. Then she pressed the blinking button and smiled widely as her mother's figure appeared in front of her. "Hi, Mom," she greeted her.

A deep and merry barking reverberated around the room. Alayne bent down and when she straightened, she held a panting beagle that was waggling her tail madly. "And Pandora," Maya added. "How are you two holding up?" she asked.

Alayne's blue eyes smiled at her daughter as her fingers made circles in Pandora's fur, holding the dog to her chest. _"It's so nice to see you again, honey. We're fine. But what about you? You must be excited! I mean…I got John's message,"_ she trailed off and simply smiled, seemingly unable to say anything more.

At the moment the door hissed and opened. "Hey, Mom," John's voice said from behind Maya before he walked next to her. Pandora started barking again and bounced in Alayne's arms happily at the sight of him. "Hey, Pandy."

Alayne set the dog on the floor again, as holding her became more and more difficult, and looked at her children. _"I'm so proud of both you…First human spectre,"_ she smiled when she regarded Maya and sighed happily when she looked at John.

Maya cast John a quick questioning look, but he didn't seem any wiser. "What? I only stood by as she was decorated the best human ever."

Alayne only smiled mysteriously.

"Should I leave you two alone?" Maya asked after she and John exchanged totally baffled faces.

_"Oh no, just…stay. I never get enough of seeing you two like this, together. Maya!"_ she suddenly looked surprised. _"Do you know this is the first time I see you in your uniform, honey?"_

"I don't exactly wear it at home," Maya shrugged.

_ "You look nice."_

Maya simply smiled. There was this thing with their mother. After she'd been rescued, she…well…there were times when she was her usual self, the one Maya remembered from Mindoir, but mostly she was oblivious to most of things, and on the other hand cherished things other people ignored. Like John and Maya together. How happy and healthy they looked. How they get on well with each other. Simple things that she'd missed for eight years of her imprisonment her mental health hadn't survived exactly intact. Maya and John had spoken with some people while Alayne was in the hospital. It seemed her mother had clung to her sanity all the time on the slaver's ship. It was the last thing she had; her dignity, personality, humanity…it all had been shattered and taken from her and only her sanity was left. But once she was with her children again, safe and loved, she…changed. It was slow at first. Moments when she just smiled and stared. Like now…And she could be like that for hours.

John had noticed it too, and that day he had finally admitted buying Pandora was a very good idea. Knowledge that someone was vitally dependant on her worked like an anchor for their mother.

Blinking the tears from her eyes, Maya smiled. "And I thought Kaidan was exaggerating. But if you're saying so, too…"

_"Oh, he was not. You are so…"_ she didn't finish, shaking her head as if describing Maya's looks was beyond words.

"Even the turian can't get his eyes off you…" John commented very, very quietly, leaning closer to his sister. She elbowed him in the ribs, still smiling at their Mom. "I wouldn't get my eyes off turians if I suddenly was on their ship either," she shot back just as quietly and then looked at Alayne again. Her face hadn't changed as if she hadn't even noticed her children were teasing each other.

"_I need to go,"_ she said suddenly. _"Lena's coming every minute and we've got a special...mission planned for today,"_ she grinned, looking mischievous all of sudden as her blue eyes focused on her son. _"Stay safe, children."_

"I'll make sure she stays out of trouble," said John at the same moment Maya uttered: "I will keep a close eye on him."

She smiled at them again, before bending her head. _"Coma, Pandora. Let's find your harness." _As soon as the hologram was shut, Maya turned her head towards her brother, her eyebrows raised. "So...what have you done to make her sigh so happily?"

"Maybe it has nothing to do with me. Maybe she was ahead in her thoughts, already shopping things for your wedding with Lena."

"Then she wouldn't be looking at you while talking about it," Maya countered immediately. "Ask Lena."

"You think she'd tell me?" John snorted. "She was probably the one who forbid mother to talk about whatever they're doing today. You ask her."

"You ask her and that's an order, Lieutenant."

John smirked. "Abusing your authorities, little sister? I should relieve you of command."

She laughed at him. "You're forgetting something, brother dear. I'm a Spectre. It's not your call to relieve me of anything."

He shrugged. "You're right," he admitted dryly. Before she could respond his hand was in her hair, ruffling it quickly and jumping out of her reach. Not necessarily, since she did the same thing, backing away from him. She was laughing as she tried to put her locks where they had been, but suddenly the laughter died away. "Do you remember the last time you did it?"

"Of course I do. It was the first time I saw you laugh after Mindoir."

With her hands still in her hair, she paid her brother a soft smile. "I never thanked you for your patience."

"It was enough to see your progress, while I was still home anyway," he shrugged again and for a few seconds the two siblings just watched each other. Then Maya cleared her throat. "Well…I should go. I've got a lot of work to do yet."

…

The problem with asari was they were biotics from nature. They were stronger than most of other species, definitely stronger than humans. If they also got implants to boost their abilities, they were hell of opponents. From the file sent by the Council, Shepard knew Dr. Liara T'Soni was something over a hundred years old, barely out of childhood by asari standards, but she didn't want to underestimate her nonetheless.

"Wrex, John and Kaidan," Maya whispered as she stared at the screen displaying what little information the Council had about the asari, as if it could confirm her choice.

Ashley was out of question. Shepard had noticed she wasn't as comfortable with the aliens on board as most of the crew, which Ashley herself confirmed with her dog-bear theory. So Shepard wanted to give her time to get used to them first. Getting hit by a biotic wave wasn't a good way to come to terms with other species.

Garrus…well…she had no idea what Garrus was capable of, expect for his enviable aim, and taking him on a mission where everything was at question just didn't seem wise to Shepard.

Tali was the same as Garrus. She needed some less unpredictable mission to evaluate her skills, first. Besides, the quarian seemed to love being on such a ship as the Normandy. She wouldn't mind staying there for a couple of hours more. She'd felt in love with the core drive at first sight, and Adams had to spent long time explaining everything about the new technology. Not that he minded. He was pleased by her enthusiasm, wishing his technicians shared it as well.

Yes, this combination was the best without doubts. They were all biotics, which could definitely come in handy if Liara proved hostile intentions. If it came to that, John and his stasis would be the proverbial ace up her sleeve. Not many biotics can do that…not many human biotics, anyway.

Maya tilted her head to one side, biting her bottom lip. Wrex could be the one cleaning the way. He was huge, scary and tough, being a krogan Battlemaster after all. She was sure he knew how to use the shotgun of his and it took real guts to face a krogan in battle…or lack of common sense. Either way, krogans' charge was infamous and it would definitely make the asari busy, while John and Kaidan could provide support and use their biotic abilities. And Maya would sit back and enjoy the show…while, of course, helping them, too.

_"Commander?"_ Joker's voice rang through her cabin, as cheerfully as ever. Well, not as ever. From their talk she knew there had been time when this guy had to fight like hell for everything he wanted…and he'd won despite the odds.

"Listening, Joker," she replied immediately.

_"We're thirty minutes from Therum."_

She sighed and covered her face with her hands, rubbing her eyes with her palm's bottoms. "Thanks," she mumbled, trying to keep the exhaustion from her voice. She sighed again, and reached out to power off her computer, already rising to her feet. She tried hard not to look at the bed that had been begging her to use it while she'd been busy reading all those files the Council had sent her. She knew that once the action started, the adrenalin would positively wake her up, but now she wanted to crawl under the white blanket and fall asleep like a baby.

_"There's a problem though."_

"What kind of…wait, I'm on my way," she informed him and picked up a pace. She climbed up the stairs to the upper deck, finally told the soldier at the top of it not to salute her. "Once a shift is enough, Tony. You don't have to wave your hand here like that every time I feel like running up the stairs." She nodded to Presley and Chakwas as she passed them by and continued in swift strides down the Normandy's long neck.

Kaidan, once again seated in the co-pilot's seat, turned to greet her with a smile she returned immediately. It slid off her face when she noticed Joker didn't look over his shoulder to watch her approach him, as he usually did, but focused on the Lieutenant first, before finally acknowledging her. "Hey, Commander."

"Kaidan, find John and Wrex and gear up."

"Aye, aye, ma'am," he responded promptly and rose from the seat. Casting a glance towards the pilot to make sure his attention was elsewhere, he brushed his hand against May's hips as he walked past her. She smiled gently and then turned on her professional mode again. "What's the problem?"

"Scans found the dig site…and a lot of geth activity around it."

"Fail to see the problem."

"Well, I picked a lot of Colossuses and Armatures, and one of the latter was right at the dig site."

Maya frowned for a moment, biting her lip unintentionally. "Those are the large geth, aren't they? Walkers, right?"

"Exactly, Commander. I could always bomb it from the air, but than I'd risk crumbling the place. I'd need you to locate its exact position for me first. Unless you want to take it out with rifles, of course. And trust me I'd always place my bets on you."

"Or we could use the Mako we'll be dropped in. It has big guns," Shepard suggested, her eyebrows rising slightly.

"That's another possibility. Your choice. But let me know if you needed help," he said in almost pleading tone as if he wished she'd need his help.

…

Another cloudy, hot day on Therum. The sun rarely peeked through the clouds, but the air was quite unbreathable. Sweat poured down Liara's back almost as soon as she left the air-conditioned container she'd lived in. Clouds of dust rose whenever her feet touched the parched ground. Unlike the nearby colony, the long-extracted mine was deserted. A perfect place for her examining the ancient remains of extinct Protheans. Some of the old technology could be found in one of the mine shafts, though Liara had made little progress in discovering its purpose so far. First she had thought it might have served as a mine as well, but then humans, after colonizing this place, wouldn't have found any metals. They had, so the place's purpose had to be different.

Maybe fifty thousand years ago this place had been different and what Liara had found were remains of a house of some sort. The question was why was it underground? For protection? Or was this world just as hostile to Protheans as it was today?

Breathing in the hot air mixed with the acrid scent of sulphur from omnipresent volcanoes, Liara made her way across the empty place, heading slowly towards the entrance to the mine. She lifted her arm and activated her omnitool. She groaned softly, when the device told her the temperature was even higher than the previous day. She was only glad for the cool air inside the shafts.

Then suddenly, something to her right attracted her attention. On the other side of the little alley trapped between larger hills where the dig site was, were piled up large crates full of supplies she had at her disposal. However, she couldn't remember the largest crate – as big as herself – to be there the previous day. She frowned at it and halted.

Unlike this mine, there were still much more of them that were still functional. So the Alliance still kept its people there in several small colonies. One of them was near this area and the humans visited this site once a week to ask Liara whether she needed anything or to bring new supplies. Even though they had already been there to check up on her this week, maybe it was them who had put the crate there.

Shaking her head she set off again, letting the crate slip from her mind completely. She climbed the stairs to the entrance and opened the round door. Cool air swept over her as she walked inside the dark tunnel and she smiled as she finally drew a deep breath. The door closed again behind her, drowning her in darkness. She didn't slow down, however. She knew there was nothing she would trip on at the mild slope. Like the proverbial light on the end of a tunnel, a faint spot light was blinking at her from the cave under it.

Her steps echoed loudly through the large, empty cave structure as she descended to the very bottom of it. There she'd put a bottle of water and some other refreshments since she preferred spending time here, where it was nice and cool, over being outside. Climbing the metal stairs again, she headed towards the console she'd been studying the previous day. She'd managed to power it on, using the old electric generator as a source of energy.

Before she could fully become absorbed in her work, loud steel on steel sounds from above stopped her in her examinations of what looked like a security device. Now that was highly suspicious. Not that the humans had never ventured in the shafts when they needed to talk to her before, but they sounded different. For one, they had always been talking to each other and calling her name. And it never had been that many of them; the sounds were like it was at least dozen people approaching.

She straightened and slowly walked to the end of the little tunnel the console was in. She had a full view of the whole steel construction of catwalks, stairs and elevators humans had made. She narrowed her eyes as she watched the catwalk right under the entrance tunnel. A large, red humanlike creature dropped from it with a heavy thud. Even from this distance, she could tell the creature was much larger than average human...it looked more like a very large krogan. But then the creature moved and she saw its head.

"Geth...?" she mouthed soundlessly, staring at the moving light from the droid's head. More and more of them started pouring from the dark tunnel and it soon became clear not even her biotics could hold off that number of them.

Her eyes dropped to the bottom of the shaft. Her blue orbs gazed at the mining laser placed on the ground. She couldn't use her biotics to pull it closer because it was practically screwed to the shaft and she also doubted the wiring powering it was long enough. Jumping down to it in order to use it against the geth would only show them her location. Slowly, she looked over her shoulder, smiling softly.

Calmly she retreated to the console she'd been examining. Praying to the Goddess, she started working on the console, using her omnitool to quickly decipher the console's language into something more understandable. She could already hear the rumbling of the shaft's elevator as the geth used it to descend more quickly, when a bright blue barrier was lifted at the edge of the tunnel she was in. She closed her eyes briefly, smiling broadly. All she had to do was to send a message to the colony about the geth and they would find a way to get rid of them.

She lifted her arm and activated her omnitool. Hoping she wasn't too deep for the reception, she started typing a quick message. A giant, red geth jumped on the catwalk just outside the barrier and immediately started shooting. The sound of its rifle cut through the shaft loudly and Liara jerked involuntarily, not expecting them to be there so quickly. She yelped as the first lasers shattered against the barrier, but her body still instinctively tried to dodge them. She tried to jump back, but only managed to trip over her own legs. As she tried to break her fall, she tried to catch a hold on the console. Instead she managed to randomly hit several buttons. Her eyes closed as her hands slid down the console, but she didn't hit the ground. She felt her body being lifted with a careful and fluid motion as if she was using her biotics to float in the air and when she opened her eyes she groaned. Another barrier was formed around her, preventing her from moving a finger. "No...no...no..." she chanted as she tried to move her muscles. All she needed was to press "send" button and wait. "No..." she repeated as panic started to take over. She looked at the omnitool's display still being projected over her forearm, the tiny orange letters blinking at her from the screen.

The firing had stopped and when she looked front, several more geth had joined the first one. With their rifles still aimed at her, they watched her struggling with her prison. And she almost stopped breathing for a moment. Only a meter parted them now and she was sure no one had managed to see geth from this close distance and lived long enough to tell the tale.

Their bulks were large and powerful, imitating heavily-muscled body. Several body parts were connected with black and grey tubes and wirings, though most of them were hidden beneath a thick layer of armour. The most interesting were their heads however. The bright blue, red or white lights in their heads were too sharp for her to look at them for long, but she managed to catch the way the tops of their heads rose and lowered as if those parts had been designed to fake eyebrows. Tilting and turning their heads they watched her, making soft, clicking sounds as they communicated with each other.

She couldn't tell how long they were staring at each other. Some of the geth left, replaced by others, until she felt like a caged animal in a zoo. The comparison felt too true for her liking.

At one point, one of the geth suddenly whirled around and jumped from the catwalk. Liara tried to move to see where it was going, but the field didn't allow it. After a few seconds, however, she could see it again and to her indescribable horror it was heading to the power generator. They were about to shut the power off. Her eyes moved to the side as much as they could, eyeing the console. She took a deep breath, trying to calm down as she started gathering the biotic energy. As soon as she'd be free, she'd attack. And then...well...she'd work it on the hoof.

Gunfire reverberated through the shaft and Liara's attention was brought to the entrance. She couldn't see clearly, two bright blue barriers blocking the view, but someone else had entered the mine. The geth in front of her barrier turned around and aimed at the newcomers, so they were clearly enemies.

"Enemy of my enemy is my friend," Liara murmured. "Hopefully..." Her heart was beating madly as she watched four persons – three humans and one krogan – shoot and cut their way through the geth with a strange ease and proficiency. With nothing better to do, other than hoping for the best, she came with a theory they were Alliance soldiers sent by the colony that had somehow discovered the geth units in the area. Of course, the credibility of her theory was significantly diminished by the presence of the krogan that just, to Liara's surprise, leaped from the catwalks to land ungracefully on the geth shooting at him from beside the power generator. The krogan was laughing madly during the fall.

"Wrex!" Liara heard the voice of the only human woman on the team. She let the two men forward as she leaned over the handrail to check on the krogan. Seeing he was fine, she plunged into battle again, following her comrades.

Though Liara was more interested in the two men. They were both biotics and not exactly weak ones if she her estimate from behind the barriers could be any good. So was the krogan that was throwing around one biotic punch after another, quickly destroying any nearby geth. The three humans took care of the remaining geth scattered on the catwalks quickly with a help of blue drone that had spawned out of thin air at some moment.

When the battle was over, the drone zigzagged towards the woman who activated her omnitool and despawned him, her eyes on the large krogan. "Blast it, Wrex!" the woman exclaimed angrily as she collapsed her rifle. With a well-rehearsed motion she put it in the slot on her pitch black armour. "Next time you're about to pull something like that, at least give us a heads-up. That's the main concept of teamwork," she admonished him as if he wasn't a krogan of almost twice her weight.

Wrex only laughed. "I would be warning them, too. Where would be fun in that?"

"Did you at least break anything?" she asked, making Liara blink in surprise at her brusque approach.

"Not even a sweat," the krogan responded, checking his shotgun. The taller of the two men laughed at that. He quickly stopped when the woman shot him a dirty look. Despite being the shortest and smallest of all of them, she apparently had a certain authority. The air of respect and power around her as she glared back at the krogan was almost visible and Liara was surprised to find out she was a biotic as well – she could feel the energy radiating from her now that she was so close.

Now, however, when the fight was over, Liara really wasn't interested in any kind of argument she might have with the krogan. She wanted to get out of here and quickly. "Um...hello?" Liara called hesitantly, her voice sounding rather weak as she tried to catch their attention. "Could somebody...help me, please?" she asked when their heads turned to her. "I'm trapped. I need help."

Running up the stairs, the woman stood in front of her barrier in short notice. Her face, half-obscured by her helmet, glistened with sweat. Her expression was serious and her brightly green eyes regarded Liara curiously. "Liara T'Soni, I presume," she finally said in rich voice, sounding strangely amused and detached at the same time. The rest of the team gathered behind her.

Liara tried to nod before realizing she couldn't. "Yes, that's me," she said quickly. "Did the colony send you?"

The two men exchanged a quick look, but the woman kept her eyes focused on her. "Fortunately not."

"Fortunately?" Liara repeated, sounding unsure.

She gave a half-shrug. "Being sent by the colony would mean it was attacked as well. Luckily, the geth seemed to be interested purely in this area," she looked around the tunnel Liara was in. Using the moment when her eyes fell on the console, Liara took a quick breath. "This " she paused as she regarded the soldier. She didn't look like a technical type, "...thing you're looking at is a Prothean security device." The woman's eyes snapped back to her, apparently not surprised by her revelation of this being a still functioning ancient artefact. "I cannot move, so I need you to get me out of it. All right?" she asked, hoping for sign of any emotion on the woman's face. The males, they were all looking curious and a little bit mischievous at her obvious distress, but her expression was deadpan. But she couldn't be enemy, could she? She had expressed a worry about the colony being attacked.

"How did you end up in there anyway?" she asked, moving her hand towards the console.

"I was exploring the ruins when the geth showed up, so I hid in here. Can you believe that? Geth! Beyond the Veil!" she finally voiced her infinite surprise and bewilderment. "I activated the tower's defences, but I managed to hit something I wasn't supposed to as well."

Finally something like relief crossed the woman's face, though it was so quick Liara wasn't exactly sure. "The geth attacked you?" she asked and when Liara confirmed, she smiled. "We'll find a way to get you out."

"Not so fast, Shepard," the krogan growled. "You sure she's on our side? Her mother's working with Saren," he stated and before Liara could even draw a breath to defend herself, Shepard spoke up. "The geth work for Saren, too, and they attacked her. Would he try to kill his own ally? Didn't think so..." she added when the krogan didn't answer.

"What is your plan, Commander?" the shorter of the two human men asked.

"Hmm...not sure yet," she responded flippantly as if talking to a close friend. She jumped from the catwalk on the ground and looked around. Her head was turned towards the generator. Was she thinking about turning the power off as well?

"You gotta be kidding, sis," the taller men finally said, surprising Liara with the familiarity he called her. Sis? As in...sister? Liara blinked, her eyes travelling between the two...siblings? They looked nothing alike. He was taller and his skin was darker. His eyes were blue. She wasn't exactly short, but shorter than him, with freckles on her pale face and green eyes. Genetics, hello?

Then the meaning of his words sunk in and her eyes widened as she watched Shepard fumble with the mining laser. Yes! That was a good idea!

"Not that I don't trust you, Commander, but are you sure?" the other man asked, looking over her shoulder as she tried to activate the laser.

"Have a little faith, Kaidan," she said absentmindedly. A loud beep hinted at her success and she smiled.

"Hah, that's going to be rich..." Wrex laughed as she aimed the laser somewhere under Liara. A bright light, loud explosion and the place shook violently. The shaft was immediately full of dust and smoke, hiding the four from Liara. Her eyes were looking around as the last sounds of the rumble that quaked the whole mine finally died down.

"There, what now?" Shepard's voice sounded right behind Liara.

"Whoa!" she gasped, again trying to move her head vainly. "How did you...never mind," she quickly dismissed the question. "Do you see that button...?"

Shepard randomly pointed at the console.

"No...not that one, more to the left. Higher up…not that much. Yes. That one should shut down the console and the containment field."

Before she could prepare herself, Shepard hit the button and Liara was immediately released from her prison. With a soft thud she fell on the dirty ground. The...brother...promptly rushed to her side and helped her to her feet. Liara noticed his eyes were even brighter blue than hers, and that was unusual with humans. "Thank you," she nodded and smiled at him.

"So, let's get you away before more geth arrive," Kaidan said simply and turned to walk deeper into the tunnel. Liara gasped when he turned on the console of what she'd thought was an elevator. She was excited about being right! "Yes," she nodded, smiling broadly as she followed him together with the rest of the soldiers. "I've seen enough of them to last a lifetime," she added, looking over his shoulder at the strange symbols.

Wait a minute...Liara had spent weeks studying this place and had only a _hunch_ that the device was an elevator. How could they actually think the same and also find a way to use it without understanding the language? She highly doubted soldiers had any linguistic programmes installed in their omnitools.

Before she could ask, the answer was quickly offered when the man – Kaidan was his name? – turned to pay Shepard a questioning look. Liara watched the woman approach the console and touch the keyboard with easy and quick motions as if she indeed understood it. "Not a word, John," she said warningly as the elevator was set in motion.

"I've already told you you're a freak," he smiled at her kindly. "No need to repeat it."

Wrex laughed.

Shaking her head, Shepard looked at Liara and she only hoped she'd managed to closer her mouth before the woman fully turned to her. "Sorry. I forgot to introduce us. I'm Commander Shepard, the Allia…ah…Special Tactics and Reconnaissance now," she quickly corrected herself and Liara stared at her. A Spectre? A human Spectre?! "John, Kaidan and Wrex." She pointed at her comrades. "Any idea why the geth were after you?" she asked quickly.

Liara was only able to shake her head. Then something more pressing overcame her current shock. "Do you think Benezia's involved?" she asked.

"Saren's looking for the Conduit," Kaidan said in calm, soothing tone as if trying to placate her. "You're a Prothean expert. He probably wants you to help him find it."

"But..." she mumbled, "I don't know what this Conduit..."

The whole shaft shook again, more violently than before and chains of small pebbles and grains rained at them from the ceiling. "Ow..." Liara breathed out when one of largest pebbles hit her head, lifting her arms to cover it. The marines didn't bother; they had helmets to protect them. "The ruins aren't stable. The mining laser must have triggered a seismic event. We have to hurry. The whole place might cave in!"

Shepard didn't waste a second. She brought her hand to one side of her helmet. "Joker," she said quickly and sharply. "You're still nearby after you bombed the Armature? We'd actually use a pick up before the whole place collapses. Lock in on my signal and get the Normandy here. On the double!" she barked her order. She was still for a moment, so were all of them, probably listening to this Joker's answer.

"We're good, Commander," Kaidan said confidently, so apparently Joker's reply was positive.

"If I die here, I'll kill him," Wrex opposed as if the answer wasn't all that good.

"Joker's practically above us right this moment, Wrex," Shepard said curtly. "No one's dying here, and definitely not Joker. We don't have anyone else to pilot the ship...or...do we?" she looked at Kaidan with questioning look.

He laughed. "I'm going to tell Joker how expendable he is in your eyes."

She didn't respond. In fact, she looked like she hadn't even heard him. Her head was up as she watched the ceiling get closer. Or maybe she watched the group of get surrounding a krogan waiting at them on top.

She hissed and reached for her weapons. Her team did the same and the two parties aimed at each other as the elevator stopped.

"Surrender," the other krogan growled. "Or don't. That will be more fun."

"We don't have time to deal with this one," Shepard growled. She didn't need to say anything else. Her team started shooting as she turned on her omnitool. With a quick flick of her wrist she sent a bright blue orb throwing out blue sparks towards the geth. "Wrex, the krogan's yours!" she shouted and suddenly her whole body was enveloped in blue aura. The closest geth was knocked from its feet. The burst from its rifle that was supposed to hit Liara crashed into the ceiling instead, giving start to another powerful shake.

The succession of next events was very quick. One second they were engaged in combat with them, next they were running like hell up the stairs and catwalks and the entrance tunnel with the whole construction shaking under their feet, debris falling all around them. Even safely on the ship, Liara still could hear Shepard's loud encouraging to run as well as she could feel her hand on Liara's small of her back as she'd helped her on their way out. She had collapsed on the cold floor just as the door closed behind them, trying to catch her breath while the decontamination was occurring.

"Joker's lucky," Wrex stated simply.

Liara slowly stood up on her still weak knees when the inner door opened.

"I hoped you timed it, Commander," a cheerful voice greeted them. Liara's head snapped to her left. She saw a cockpit of the ship and the famous Joker they all had been talking about. "I'm sure you broke a world record or two...and nearly my ship," he added, sounding suddenly very grumpy. Like a little child whose toy had been taken from him. "Or haven't you heard what molten sulphur could do?"

"I haven't," Shepard responded calmly, taking off her helmet as she approached the pilot. Liara noticed her hair – which had an interesting colour for a human – was damp, probably with sweat. "Do tell me."

"Definitely something the Normandy isn't equipped for!" he snapped right back. "Like frying our sensors or melting the hull. Just so that you know. For future reference."

"Wow, Joker, I consider myself deflated," she said sweetly and then took the baseball cap the pilot was wearing and put it on her sweat-drenched hair before Joker could protest. He just looked at her, horrified, as she smirked at him.

John and Kaidan started chuckling immediately, even the krogan sneered and Liara allowed her lips to curl up a little. They all acted like a great bunch of friends out on a picnic, not like a military unit that had nearly been drowned in scorching lava.

"Don't like me wearing it, Jeff? Well, why don't you come and get it then?" she asked, her voice saccharine, as she made two steps back.

Joker just stared at the cap on Shepard's head as she provocatively turned the cap so that the peak was backwards. Then he suddenly started laughing, too. "Okay, okay, I had it comin' for chiding my Commander, I guess."

"I'll wash it and return it unharmed, I promise," Maya winked at him and turned to the rest of the shore party. "Go hit a shower, boys. I'll take care of Liara for now. In thirty minutes I want all of you in the comm room for debriefing. Tali, Ashley and Garrus as well, so spread the word." Turning to Liara, she said: "Come. I'll take you to the infirmary. This garb isn't exactly protective, is it?" she asked, smiling as her hand touched right under an open gash on her arm. Liara blinked. She wasn't aware of it until the Commander pointed it out. "That's okay. Adrenaline. You'll feel in a minute, don't worry," she smiled and took Liara's healthy arm gently. "Joker, don't forget to pick up the Mako," she added before she took Liara down the corridor.

"I am curious about something, Commander," Liara chimed as she looked around the ship. People stopped in whatever they were doing to greet Shepard and that fascinated her; the Commander had to be favoured here.

"Shoot, Liara."

"The pilot..." she started, focusing now on the baseball cap she still wore. "We nearly died and he made rude jokes."

She shook her head and smiled at her. "He wasn't being rude, Liara. That's just Joker's style. You can call it coping," she added as she took the asari down a narrow stairs. For some reason, she smiled at the soldier on the top and said: "That's right, Tony, once a shift," even though he hadn't moved, just smiled hesitantly.

"Are you friends with all of them?"

"I'm trying," she nodded. Another round of greetings when they walked into a large dining room. Or walked past it, anyway. Everyone was also very amused by the cap she stole from the pilot.

"Commander," an elder woman walked to meet them when they entered the infirmary.

"I'm leading you a patient, Karen," Shepard said and looked at Liara.

"I see," she nodded, her eyes already on the blood-oozing wound.

"A set of spare clothes for her might come in handy, too," she added quickly and Liara blinked at her. She hadn't thought of that. All her things had been left at the colony…and probably were gone now.

"I'll take care of it, Commander," the doctor smiled kindly.

"Thank you. Liara? When the Doc's finished, could you meet us in the comm room in half an hour?" Thirty minutes should be enough for Shepard take shower, change from her armour to the BDU and write a report. Then maybe some time later she might finally find time to finally go to bed.

"I'll be there, Commander."

As Shepard left, the doctor shook her head, smiling. "The baseball cap…Joker was snide again, wasn't he?" she asked, sounding amused as she started preparing whatever medical supplies she needed for treating her wound.

"He was, though the Commander didn't seem bothered by it."

"Because Joker doesn't mean it and she knows it. Now...let me help you out of this."

…

It felt so damn good to take off the armour. It wasn't heavy at the beginning, but after some time it did usually and mysteriously gain a few kilos. She slammed the locker closed, leaving for the showers dressed in her functional clothes. Whoever designed the ship, they forgot shore party would like to take a shower after a mission and walking from hangar to the middle deck half-naked was just stupid. Or probably turians didn't care...or humans were too concerned about other things to realize it.

She laid her BDU on the floor as far from the showers as she could and stripped quickly, making another pile next to the neatly folded uniform. Grabbing a shower gel, shampoo and a conditioner she walked to the shower. She closed her eyes when the hot water started pouring on her, tilting her head back until it rained on her face. She bent her head again, rubbing her face and eyes. Knowing she didn't have that much time she started with her hair first, massaging her scalp that hurt from all the rocks that had landed on it. She was only grateful she wore her helmet. Liara had been incredibly lucky she hadn't been hit by any debris, because she wouldn't have come out only with a bump.

That was actually a very interesting topic Maya pondered during the shower. Could asari have a bump on their heads? An asari body, although so similar to human, was after all a little bit different. At least the hair tentacles or whatever they called it. If she remembered the lessons back during N7, it was supposed to be cartilage-based, so it was more like a human ear. What would a human ear do if hit with a rock?

The water suddenly stopped and Maya opened her eyes in confusion. At first she lifted them to see the dripping showerhead, and then turned to look at the tap to see what was wrong. She yelped and jumped back when she noticed a hand on it. Kaidan's laughter filled the room as she turned he back to him, face buried in her hands. She took a deep breath and grunted discontentedly when he rested his large, warm hands on her shoulders, turning her around again.

"You…" she managed to growl before he quickly kissed her.

"Don't say you didn't hear me coming in?" he asked with a wide smile. His hands slid down her arms and brushed her stomach before he rested his palms on her hips. He stepped forward, pushing until her back touched the wall behind her.

"No, Kaidan, I didn't. I was having a very interesting inward monologue you interrupted," she said seriously, fighting with her own hands to stay still at her sides. They wanted to touch the broad shoulders in front of her, slide down the powerful chest and firm abdomen and then dig her fingers into his backside. Her lips wanted to kiss him as her hands would draw him near so that she could feel it when her close proximity would start affecting him the way she loved. Only…they didn't have the time for such indulgencies. So she took a deep breath and placed her palms on the cold wall behind her, trying not to think about the way her heart quickened thanks to her mere fantasizing about him. How long, actually, had it been since they last made love? Five days, before he'd left for the Citadel. That wouldn't be that much, if only three out of those five days they hadn't spent side by side without being able to touch each other. That was infuriatingly frustrating.

"A credit for your thoughts," his voice whispered into her ear a second before his lips touched it gingerly, tracing its curve with his tongue.

"We don't have time, Kaidan," she protested. Despite her earlier obstinacy, she snaked her hand around his waist and brought him nearer, closing her eyes. And they immediately snapped open as she realized she probably wasn't the only on fed up with the forced aloofness.

She smiled smugly and rolled her head to give him a better access when his lips trailed down her neck. She laughed gently when he turned on the shower next to them. "If you wanted to wash yourself, Kaidan, the men's restrooms are on the starboard of the ship."

"Starboard, portside…always had troubles telling those two apart, besides…" he pulled away to look her in the eyes. His were already dark with desire and that solely worked on Maya better than any aphrodisiac ever could; nothing could turn her on like knowing he wanted her just as badly as she craved him. Whatever it was he responded eluded her completely as she could feel another proof of his longing pressing into her stomach eagerly as he stepped even closer.

"We're going to be so late…" she wheezed out, her hand in his hair as she brought his head down to her, kissing him hungrily, the other closing around him. He responded with the same passion and while their tongues fought for dominance, his hands lifted her off her feet, pressing her back against the wall. But this wasn't the reason she couldn't breathe.

She moaned when he slipped his hand between them and touched her, and then had to bit his shoulder to hold in another groan when he slipped a finger inside her. Her clouded mind registered his chuckle as he kept teasing her until she was whimpering and shaking in his arms. Her moans turned into a growl when his hand was suddenly gone. She drew a breath to protest, but then only gasped as he entered her in one, fluid thrust.

He went still then as if to give May time to catch her breath. She kissed his shoulder, her mouth lingering pressed against his hot skin, breathing through her nose. Her fingers caressed the back of his neck, her other hand was on the small of his back. "Kaidan?" she mumbled, breathless. "Is something wrong?"

His fingers got lost in her hair, massaging her scalp before tightened in it. He pulled gently and she lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him. For a moment his eyes searched her face and the kissed her lightly, brushing his lips against hers gently. And that was the last gentle thing he did. And she returned the favour with fervour, raking her nails down his back as her sanity began to give way to desire and lust and at some point she didn't even care if anyone could hear them anymore. It was only the two of them and the way his lips burned their way down her throat and breasts. His hands were holding her hips, fingers buried into her flesh painfully, as she dug hers into his shoulders to bring him closer. It just felt too soon when only the sounds of the running water and their heavy breathing filled the room.

"It's so cheap to tell you after such sex that I love you, so I won't say that," Maya finally whispered into his shoulder, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the aftershocks, shivering slightly.

Kaidan laughed at that, still holding her close to him.

She opened her eyes and looked at her hand behind his neck. "Ouch…" she mumbled when she potted the blood behind her nail. "Oh, Kaidan…I'm sorry." She hissed when she brushed his back with her fingers.

He pulled back a little to look at her, smiling. "What for? I've been never better." Carefully, he set her back on the floor, kissed her lips, cheek and the scar on her chin before stepping under the water. Maya suck in a breath quickly, because she knew the water had to sting like hell on the raw scratches. That made him shake his head and reach for her hand to pull her to him again. "Hey, stop it. I wasn't exactly gentle either."

"Yeah, I'll have bruises," she admitted, touching her thigh where it ached, "but you're bleeding. That's the first time I've actually…" Then her face changed completely and her eyes lit up with mischievous sparkles. "Hey," she breathed out, biting her lip. "That was…wow," she whispered and closed her eyes when he bent his head to kiss her lightly. "Yeah, I second that," he mumbled against her lips. She felt him smile suddenly, and chuckled, but when she sent him a questioning gaze, he shrugged and turned his attention back to the water.

Later, she watched him take her towel to dry himself, her eyes following his every move as she stepped under the water. She let it cascade down her back, tilting her head to one side, then the other. "I think you actually deserve the scratches, you know?" she finally decided when he started getting dressed.

"Another compliment. Why, thanks."

"Aren't you a little full of yourself?" she asked, folding her arms over her bare chest.

His eyes flicked to her breasts for a moment, then yet a little bit lower. "Let's not start about who is full of whom…or was moments ago."

She rolled her eyes, though she didn't manage to wipe the smile from her face. "You know, I meant it as a punishment this time," she said and watched his eyebrows rise considerably. "I'm not really sure how long we made love, but I'm positive there's not much time left before the debriefing. And I still need to write the report for the Council."

He put on his shirt and as soon as his head stuck out of the black fabric, he grinned. "Guilty as charged."

"What…brought it on anyway? Not that I mind…" she asked as she reached out with her arms like little kids when they wanted to be scooped up in someone's arms. Kaidan locked his eyes with hers as he put on the upper part of his BDU. He rolled up the sleeves past his elbows and only when he was satisfied with the way his uniform was he approached her. He put his hands on her hips, pulling her from beneath the running water. He kept her at a certain distance from him, not wanting to damp his BDU. "Well, it was either sharing the showers with John and possibly Wrex, or you. Blame your skin-tight enviro-suit," he explained and kissed her again. She immediately ran her hands through his hair, wetting it again. "Oh, come on..." he clicked his tongue when he pulled away from her.

"Be glad it was only your hair. At first I wanted to plant two handprints on your backside," she said with an evil grin.

"Then I'll take my leave, before you change your mind again," he said simply and headed to door. May turned back to the shower and only a minute or so after she was alone again she realized she hadn't heard him unlock the door first.

* * *

To be continued. And now...author's rambling! Actually I'm not going to bother you that much, I just have one thing to say: starboard, portside...awful :D Though I must express my deepest thanks to Bioware, ME2 and EDI to finally help me distinguish those two :)

And I also thank you all for reading this chapter, which was a little bit longer, but I hope you don't mind. If so, tell me, though I've already asked you about this, if I remember correctly (my mind's kind of selective - it only remembers everything unimportant). Have a nice...whatever day you have :) I still have Tuesday now, though only for one more hour, if you were interested O:-)


	29. Personal experience

Disclaimer: I don't own ME.

* * *

When John entered the comm room, Liara and Garrus were already inside. They were seated on the seats along the walls, caught up in a quiet discussion over something, but they stopped talking when the marine appeared in the room. "Am I disturbing or something?" John asked, not really expecting an answer, and made his way to one of unoccupied seats. He rubbed the back of his neck as he sat down.

"No, why would you think so?" Garrus asked simply, straightening.

He shrugged, leaning back and closing his eyes.

Tali and Wrex arrived together, though it seemed more like they met on their way there than that they were actually having chitchat. Or John at least couldn't imagine them talking about anything. Tali set in the seat next to Liara. She turned to her. "Oh, hello. You must be Liara. My name is Tali," she introduced herself and it plain clear she was smiling under the helmet.

"Pleased to meet you, Tali," Liara responded. She was a little taken aback by her approach, John could tell. "Eh, please, excuse my forwardness, but what are you doing here? Quarians are rare outside the Migrant Fleet," Liara looked questioningly at the only human specimen present.

Tali nodded once. "I am on my pilgrimage and…well…Shepard helped me out of a tight spot and then decided bring me all along to help her." The quarian touched her helmet as if she wanted to reach her face. "And I'm glad for this opportunity. Being on board of such sophisticated ship is every quarians' dream come true, not to mention my lack of knowledge about the world outside the Migrant Fleet got me into trouble once already." She was of course referring to the incident with Fist. Had she known about the way the Shadow Broker operated, she would have never fallen for Fist's lie.

But then they would have had a hard time looking for her all over the Citadel.

The door hissed again and Ashley walked in. She stopped at the entrance, her eyes on the asari. Then she greeted everyone, sounding a little suspended, before taking an empty seat next to John. She moved to lean closer to him, so he did the same. "What is she doing here? Isn't her mother our enemy?"

"She's on our side…or at least she's not on Saren's side," John explained as quietly as he could. Tali, still chatting merrily with the new crewmember, helped a lot to drown out their soft voices.

"What if it's a trap?"

"I don't think so. She was nearly killed by Saren's minions. He sent a krogan Battlemaster after her, too."

"Damn…" Ashley laughed. "How did you take him down?"

"We had our own krogan Battlemaster," John pointed out and looked at Wrex from the corner of his eye. The krogan was working with his omnitool, not paying attention to anything around him. "It was clever of Maya to bring him along."

Ashley blinked. "Maya?" she echoed, chuckling. "Doesn't sound badass, you know, for the Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre and the N7 marine. How come I haven't heard…wait, I have. After Elysium," she mused, touching her chin with her fingers.

After that the two marines fell silent and in time even the rest of the present company grew quiet. It stretched into strange awkwardness as they all waited patiently. Finally the door hissed again and opened; Kaidan walked calmly in and took a seat like everyone else. John's eyebrows quirked as he checked his watch. It was time for the debriefing to begin. What was taking his sister so long?

Finally, ten minutes after the timeline given by her, Maya walked in as well. Mumbling apologies for being late, she approached the console. She plugged in a storage disk and opened the Normandy's intercom. "Joker, send the files to the Council, ASAP," she barked out.

"_Aye, aye, ma'am."_

"Right…" Maya muttered under her breath and closed the 'com again, turning to the crew. There still were several seats empty, but she didn't move to sit down.

"Before moving on to the next issue, I'd like to introduce you Dr. Liara T'Soni," she started dryly, looking at the asari. Then she introduced the rest of the preset crew to her quickly.

"Are we sure she's not a double-agent?" Ashley asked when she finished, earning a look from John. "Eh, no offence," she added, understanding the reproachful gaze.

"None taken," Liara smiled lightly. "I understand your suspicion, but I have nothing to do with my mother's involvement with Saren."

"And I trust you," Shepard added matter-of-factly. It was said softly and firmly at the same time, without any need to raise her voice. But it was clear enough warning for Ashley not to question her decisions again.

"Thank you…" Liara paused for a moment, then added: "I also should thank you for saving my life back there. Or worse...you saved me from being dragged to Saren and possibly forced to help him," she added, watching the Commander intently.

"A propos..." Ashley spoke up, leaning forward to rest her elbows against her knees. "Why would he want your help when he already has your mother? Do you know something about this Conduit, whatever it is?"

"I don't know what it is...or where..." the asari shook her head. She seemed uncomfortable saying she didn't know it, because she started fidgeting in the seat. "Only that it was connected to the Prothean extinction. That's my real area of expertise," she quickly added, sounding proud. "I've spent the past fifty years trying to figure out what happened to them."

"Fifty years?" Ashley slowly repeated. "Just how old are you?" John's eyebrows quirked at that. Coming from any men from the room it might sound rude. Or maybe it was just a human nature not to ask women of certain apparent age how old they were.

In any case, Liara didn't seem offended in the least. If anything, she looked shy all of sudden. "I...hate to admit it, but I'm only a hundred and six."

"Damn!" the Chief exclaimed, straightening again. "I hope I look that good when I'm your age."

"Ashley, Liara is still mostly considered a child among her species," Maya commented. "Anyway, let's back to what you've mentioned. About the extinction of Protheans," she uttered, narrowing her eyes slightly. Everyone, safe for Liara, turned their head to the Commander with questions in their eyes, but no one dared to point out that she already knew that.

"Well...there are countless theories out there trying to explain the occurrence, but I don't think any of them has been based on a valid proof, Commander," Liara started saying. "The Protheans left remarkably little behind for us to discover," she explained, drawing small circles in the air with her hand as she spoke.

"You mean as if someone didn't want anything to be found?" Maya offered and Liara nodded. "Yes. As foolish as it sounds, that's what it looks like. Fifty thousand years is a long time for someone else to come and cleansed the galaxy of clues...hypothetically speaking, of course. Either way," she went on after she drew a quick breath, "I've discovered the Protheans were not the first galactic civilization to mysteriously vanish. This _cycle_ began long before th...Commander, are you alright?"

John's attention snapped back to his sister to catch her rapid blinking. She looked pale suddenly. "Sis?" he started, sounding worried, and was about to stand up, but she lifted her hand to stop him. "I'm fine. Haven't eaten yet. Stupid biotics..." she smiled and focused on the asari again, eager to change the topic. "That's a very bold statement, Liara. Where did you come up with this? I thought there were hardly any evidence left by the Protheans, let alone someone before them," she shrugged, looking her usual self again.

Liara leaned back a little. "I don't have any evidence, I'm afraid. Just fifty years of studying everything I could find that let me to this conviction. It was like some kind of a pattern... Each time a great civilization rises up, it is suddenly and violently cast down until only ruins remain," she nodded, sounding strongly confident. "I suspect what we thought was a legacy of the Protheans – great inventions like the mass relays or the Citadel, were actually based on the technology of those who came before them."

Wrex snorted. "Makes you think twice about those bugs on the Citadel."

"Keepers," Garrus corrected him. "But you're right. If Dr. T'Soni has a point here, then the Keepers are probably older than we think."

"Keelah..." Tali whispered, the little bulb in her helmet blinked twice. The light was unusually bright in the dimness of the comm room.

"But like I said," Liara started speaking again. "It's nothing I could prove...but I will in time, I hope. Commander, if you could satisfy my curiosity... I've noticed that back on Therum you displayed certain knowledge about the ancient Prothean technology as well."

"That's one way to put it," Ashley chuckled, but she quickly shut up when Shepard looked at her. Her eyes lingered on the woman, looking thoughtful rather than angry.

After a second she took a deep breath and folded her arms over her chest. "Yes, Liara, I've already had my share of examining Prothean devices. Actually to the extent that I could help you fill in the holes in your theory. The Protheans were wiped out by a race of sentient machines. The Reapers."

"The...the Reapers," Liara echoed quietly. "But I have never heard of...How do you know? What evidence do you have?" Maybe she wasn't even aware of it, but the asari was so intrigued by this that she had stood up from the seat, watching the Commander intently.

Maya quickly explained what happened on Eden Prime to her and that left Liara almost gaping at her. "You found a working Prothean beacon? I find it hard to believe..." Now she sounded like she only refused to accept this so that she wouldn't be disappointed later. Because, her words notwithstanding, her eyes shone brightly and she had made a few steps towards Shepard.

Maya shrugged. "Whatever information was stored inside, it is now in my brain. Only thanks to it we were able to make the elevator in the mine work again."

"But..." Liara frowned at that. "Beacons were only programmed to interact with Prothean physiology. None of the species from today is capable of having the information transmitted to their minds, as is the beacon's purpose," she added. "The visions you mentioned had to be very confused."

Maya looked away from her, shrugging. "I understood enough, though it wasn't exactly like watching a vid either," she admitted.

"You must be remarkably strong-willed, Commander," Liara breathed out. She approached Maya even closer. "A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process."

"This isn't helping us find Saren. Or the Conduit," Kaidan interrupted her sharply. He'd been frowning more and more deeply with every step the asari took towards Maya, which John found hilarious. Kaidan had never struck him as the jealous type…of an asari, on top of that.

"Of course, you're right," Liara smiled and finally took a step back. "I apologize, my scientific curiosity got the better of me," she said softly, smiling hesitantly. "Unfortunately I do not have any information that could help you."

"You might not have the information, but Saren had his reasons for sending the geth after you," Maya stated. "I'm sorry, Liara, I'm afraid you have to stay with us. For your own protection."

"No need to apologize, Commander," she smiled hesitantly. Her blue eyes travelled shortly to Tali. "This ship is probably the safest place where I can be at the moment. And you might use my knowledge of the Protheans later on."

"And her biotics will come in handy when the fighting starts," Wrex commented.

"Yeah..." Ashley rolled her eyes. "Like this ship isn't already crowded with biotics."

Garrus cleared his throat. "Nothing to brighten your day like the inferiority complex."

"We're far from helpless," Tali tried to placate him, probably not sensing this was a joke. Garrus couldn't care less about being or not being a biotic.

"So that's settled," Maya nodded. "And since we still have no information, next stop's Feros. And you're all part of the shore party."

"All of us?" Garrus repeated, looking around. "Isn't it more efficient and quick with a smaller team?"

Shepard's face hardened and her eyes turned empty suddenly. John knew the look. Just like she could tell when he tried to hide something, he recognized the expression immediately, too. Feros was bothering her. "Not when it comes to rescuing attacked colonies. Number is what they need…if they are still alive." Her voice was followed by silence. Everyone knew about Elysium and Mindoir and presence of the two occurrences suddenly hung in the air uncomfortably. "Dismissed," Shepard said in loud voice, taking a deep breath. "John, Wrex…a word," she stopped them while the rest gathered to leave the small room.

She waited, until it was only the three of them inside before she focused on the krogan. "I wanted to thank you and ask something of you," she started. "I know you had…you have no real reasons to follow me. You're not part of my unit, but I really appreciate your help."

The krogan nodded and then leaned closer to her. "And the request?" he asked, his face so close to Shepard's he was almost touching her. He grinned when she didn't recoil from him.

"Like I said, you're not mine," she said in calm voice, keeping her ground. "But you're helping me and I care about people on my side. The jump…it was a great help. Without your cleaning the bottom of the mine our descent would have been much more problematic, but next time, Wrex," she paused for a split second, lifting her chin as she met his merciless eyes with a defiant gaze, "stick close to the team, will you?"

"Or I'll just give you a heads-up," he barked and laughed. "Is it all, Shepard?"

She shrugged, looking casual despite giant krogan smirking in her face. "Yeah, I've spoken my mind. Do whatever you want with it."

With one last look over his shoulder, Wrex left the comm room, leaving the siblings together. John whistled when the door closed. "I thought he was about to headbutt you."

"He took my criticism better than I thought he would," Maya simply shrugged, feeling rather relived. "Let's hope he'll actually think about it, too," she added with a lop-sided smile that told John she wasn't counting on it much.

"So…you scolded the most badass asset of your team. I wonder what you want of me."

"A promise," she whispered, turning her back to him. She rested her hands on the edge of the console, careful not to touch anything. She fixed her eyes on those buttons. There weren't much of them anyway. All the conversations were controlled mostly by the pilot. All she could do from here was to contact him and accept or hang up the call he'd patch through. "The Alliance lost contact with Feros a few days ago. It might not mean anything. The geth here on Therum didn't attack any of the colonies and their mere presence jams most of our communication and sensor devices," she said. She expected John to say something, but when he stayed quiet, she drew a breath, closing her eyes…so she missed the way a diode came on; the channel to the cockpit had been opened. "If I'm wrong, however, and the colony is…has been targeted, I might lose it," she said heavily, her hands shaking slightly. She turned away from the console as she pressed fingers into her eyes.

"Lose it?" John repeated.

"Yeah," she breathed out, watching her hands. "You need to take care of everything if it happens. And by that I mean finding what got Saren so interested in the place to send forth his geth army."

"It won't happen," John dismissed the idea immediately. "You're stronger than that."

She smiled at her bother. Not so long ago, she would confide in John about her fears. She'd never told him about her reaction on Elysium. Only Chris knew the sight of the fleet had turned the time for her in the worst way possible. He didn't know she still flinched when someone said _Adam_ when she didn't expect it. He didn't know about her issue with sleeping pods; only Kaidan knew that one. Such intimacy was now complicated. He wasn't only her brother, he was her subordinate. She couldn't afford to look weak, not because he'd stopped respecting her, but because he would care overly…and others would notice. "I didn't say it _will_ happen," she said. She leaned against the console behind her, folding her arms over her chest in a way that one of her hands was free to play with the chain her dog tags hung on. "I was just weighing all the possibilities. One of them is my experience that skyrocketed my career might finally come and bite me in the ass and I want you to be ready for any sings of it and take over," she stated in what she hoped was casual tone.

John's eyes suddenly burnt with a strange intensity as he stared at her. Maybe she wasn't casual enough. "How are you feeling about Feros?" he asked carefully.

…

_"I feel sympathy and expect the worst."_

_ "That's understandable. Anyway, yeah, I'll be watching you. That's no problem. But like I said, I don't think it will be necessary. You're not the first human Spectre groundlessly."_

Joker swallowed and let out a long breath after the line fell silent. He could hear some quiet voices in the background as the door swoosh open and when he turned around, he glimpsed the marine leaving the comm room. The Commander didn't follow him though.

He focused on the control panel in front of him, frowning. It didn't occur to him that the Commander could have problems with coming to Feros. But of course, she'd been there. Twice. It was known she had survived the attack on Mindoir and Elysium and Joker only wondered what really was going on in her head at the moment. After all, she was just a human, wasn't she?

Hesitating, he drew a breath to speak. "Commander? I've got the Council on the line. They've got the files and want to talk to you. Should I patch them through or make some completely unbelievable excuse?"

She chuckled. _"How bad can it be? I'm millions light years away, they can't eat me. Patch them through."_

"Just brace yourself," he responded with the same amusement. Apparently he worried too much about her. After all, she was a pro.

…

Cord-Hislop Aersopace was a prospering and lucrative business manufacturing all kinds of shuttles. At first sight it was an ordinary company with a lot of ordinary employees, board of directors and an inconspicuous owner who didn't understand a thing about trade or markets, so he left the board to make decisions. It resided in a tall, elegant tower in a middle of Stockholm. Positioned on one of many island between the Baltic Sea and the beautiful lake Mälaren – Skeppsholmen Island – it offered a breathtaking view of the city.

She was sure this position was a message, just like everything he did. It was a strategic move, just like it had been when the military had built in this area so long ago too. The place had changed a lot since, and it was difficult to match the old pictures of the city with the modern, bustling metropolis it had become. It was almost too easy to hide here in the plain sight.

Only a handful of people knew the company – like a simple coin – had two faces. What everyone could see, a successful corporation, was only a drop in the sea, a tip of an iceberg. Something much more powerful and important hid beneath the surface. The main purpose of this company was to finance efforts of still growing group of people trying to enforce human rights across the galaxy when no one else cared. Even if it meant sacrificing an individual for the greater good.

Standing inside the luxurious room on the very top of the tower was therefore an imminent honour. Only the owner and his close partners had access to the penthouse. Most of the Cerberus operatives only had the pleasure of seeing a part of the room via a video call, if they were lucky and important enough for the boss to call them in person. But here she was, standing behind the massive table made of dark wood that her colleagues only caught glimpses of. Running her fingers over the smooth surface was an indescribable feeling.

Rebecca smiled softly as she lifted her head to look around the room. She breathed the air through her nose, recognizing the scent of the Illusive Man's favourite cigar and cologne. It mixed with the soft aroma of old books he kept in the library that held probably the greatest collection of actual books these days; some of them were so old Rebecca was sure they would fall apart if someone touched them clumsily. Its vastness made her wonder whether he had read them all or just collected them for fun.

But of course he had read them. The Illusive Man never did anything without a good purpose and fun was just a waste of time and resources, while both could be used elsewhere. The Illusive Man was a very practical man after all.

Her look focused on the comfortable leather seat behind the table. Her heels clacked against the wooden floor as she approached it and sat down, leaning back. She felt suddenly more important then she really was, sitting in his chair, behind his table. She ran her hands along the armrests, caressing the smooth black leather lovingly.

Her moment of peace was disturbed when there was a soft knock on the door. Rebecca sprung to her feet, made a step from the seat just as the door opened. It revealed one of his most favourite pets holding a datapad. Miranda's brow was furrowed, but as soon as her blue eyes met with Rebecca's dark green ones, she smiled. "Rebecca," she greeted her and walked into the room.

Rebecca smiled at the taller woman, the living, breathing perfection, as she set the datapad on the table. "The Spectre?" she asked, a left corner of her mouth curling up in a sneer. It was gone when the elder woman looked at Rebecca.

"Among other things," she agreed. "Fascinating and impressive."

"Right…" Rebecca resisted rolling her eyes. She took the datapad in her hands and stared at it. She had expected Miranda to come and deliver the dossier, since the Illusive Man himself had asked Rebecca to wait for her, and she was thrilled to finally hold it in her hands. For twelve years she'd been itching for ammunition like that. "Impressive?" she echoed and wrapped her arms around the datapad, hugging it closely to her chest. "If she hadn't been probably the sole survivor of the Elysium, no one would have noticed her. This way, however, she virtually built her career on deaths of a lot of people."

Miranda shot her a curious look, narrowing her blue eyes. "So did you," she countered. "How many people have you killed during your medical experiments?"

Rebecca laughed. "Those weren't people, Miranda. Those were aliens. And I would kill twice as much if it meant saving one human. After all," she paused, drumming her fingers on the datapad, "don't say you wouldn't want to strangle the turian's neck for Eden Prime. And the Council still refused to help."

"They helped eventually. Shepard made them. And got the best of the situation as well," Miranda pointed out.

"Whatever," Rebecca shrugged. "I guess I just don't buy her propaganda. She's no saint, but the Alliance has made her a poster girl so she must look perfect no matter what."

"She's far from perfect," the elder woman agreed, which for a second surprised Rebecca. Miranda didn't register it however. Her eyes had slid from Rebecca's face and lingered on the datapad in her arms. "I should know. I've spent last few weeks digging up every detail of her life so far. The thing is everyone believes in her. And what she's doing now might help us."

"Yes, that's true," Rebecca nodded slowly. "She did hand the Council their asses, after all."

Miranda smiled and lifted her chin slightly. "She did. Well, I have a work to do, now, but it was nice seeing you again, Rebecca. After I'm done with my next task, we need to catch up."

"Already can't wait. And yes, I've got a work, too. This precious needs to find its way to the Illusive Man as soon as possible." Miranda was the first to turn and leave the office, so Rebecca was free to finally allow the triumphant smile to appear on her face. _Knowledge is power_, she thought as she looked at the datapad. The Illusive Man was very patient and could wait a few more minutes before she downloaded the data into her omnitool. _I'll finally be able to keep up my promise, Dad,_ she thought as she watched the progress bar. _Maybe not tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, but with this…I'll make her pay for your death eventually._

There were things to make someone suffer. Things that required having a specific kind of information, but didn't even involve meeting the certain someone personally. And Rebecca knew from personal experience that such things always hurt the most.

…

Maya sighed heavily as she sat down in the co-pilot's seat. She didn't look at Joker. Instead she watched the dark space around them as if she'd never seen it before. She tilted her head to one side, than the other, looking thoughtful.

"Do you need something, Commander?" Joker asked, after growing curious.

She lifted her eyebrows. "Just Ambassador Udina strangled. Are you in?" She was smiling, but somehow he suspected she was deadly serious.

"What did he do?"

"It's not as much what he did as what he didn't," she shrugged and sighed again. "Apparently he forgot to mention to Rear Admiral Mikhailovich his ship wasn't joining his flotilla," she said calmly. Joker recognized it as the same kind of calmness her brother often used. "So he wrote me a very angry email – why he wrote _me_ and not Anderson is beyond me – to get his ship to the Citadel dock ASAP. I came to tell you to change the course, then started thinking about simply writing the Ambassador to take care of it instead of me…" she trailed off, explaining why she hadn't spoken up until the pilot asked her.

Joker froze for a moment. "So…are we heading to Feros or the Citadel?"

"To the Citadel, unfortunately," she said eventually. "This misunderstanding needs to be dealt with and I don't trust the Ambassador to handle it without causing an incident."

Joker started his magic with the ship, punching in the new coordinates as he spoke: "And what if he demands his ship back? Are going to hand it over?"

"No way I'm giving you and this baby up," she smiled. "I'm a Spectre, remember. If he's making trouble, I'll pull that on him. Rear Admiral or not, I'm not within his authority anymore. Though I hope he'll see reason and I won't have to do it. It doesn't feel very respectful. He's got a great reputation."

"You're an optimist, are you, Commander?" Joker asked, turning his head to her. He cringed back a little bit when she eyed his baseball cap.

"Would you rather I was a pessimist?"

"Depends on your point of view. Pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist…or thereabouts."

"You talked to Ashley!" Maya chuckled.

"So did you evidently," Joker uttered. "I've heard you two are quite good buddies."

She waved her hand. "I wouldn't go that far. But we had the same teacher. And she has awesome sisters…I always wanted to have a sister…" she said thoughtfully suddenly. "A twin. Someone to look exactly like me so we would play with others pretending to be the other."

Joke just smiled, but didn't comment for some time. Done with considering his word, he took a breath to speak. "You're pretty open with the crew, aren't you?"

"What makes you think so? Because I told you about my wish to have a sister? That's not being open, Joker."

"Maybe, but it still makes the crew feel welcome when you slip a bit here and there about yourself, however unimportant in your opinion. That's what Ashley came to talk to me. You know, since I can't walk much, she was interested if you actually bothered to come up here to talk to me like you do with everybody else."

"But of course I wouldn't miss a small talk with my pilot," she smiled. "Anyway, I'm glad the crew feels this way. I want them to know I'm here for them if they had problems. That I care about them and respect them and want to get to know them." At least that was what made a good commander in her book. Not the rank or number of successful missions. The way you treated people under you. If you backed them when they'd need it. If they could count on your to stand by their side.

"Hey, I get it, no need to explain yourself, Commander. I've already fallen for you, but don't tell Kaidan," he hurried to add. "And I think it's a good thing. I've met too many prissy jerks in dress blue to appreciate a different approach for once."

She only smiled to herself at his comment about Kaidan. John had suggested never ever stopping an elevator again if she wanted a private moment. "Hopefully Mikhailovich won't be one of those. I have a pretty good mood and I'd hate to get it spoiled." She was quiet for a while. "I should go."

"Alright, see ya," Joker answered, sounding like he wasn't really paying attention.

* * *

I would like to apologize to any resident of Stockholm if I somehow managed to get what little I wrote about it wrong. I've never been there and maps and google can tell you only so much, especially if half of it is in language you don't understand :D

To **Minnie** - Oh, I'm so glad I wasn't the only one :D Like I say, Moms are right about a lots of things, but not that sitting in front of a computer can't help you learn anything :)

And as I've already done it so many times, I apologize for taking so long with this chapter. I'm glad I've managed to get it done, with everything so crazy now. Next Monday I'll either be or won't be a Bachelor so you can imagine writing is the last thing I have time for, unfortunately. And now, when I've bored you to death with completely unnecessary facts about what's going on behind the scenes of the story, thank you all for reading and faving and following and reviewing, because it really helps me to know what you think about the story.


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